Women: Can you expand on or give examples of men not "getting it"?

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-11-19T16:41:02+00:00

Just because this sub thinks a woman can get sex easier, doesn’t mean that’s what they want. Most women do not operate with the same brain as men to sleep with as many people as they possibly can.

Also, a woman will almost never say no to a man she’s interested in. So when she does, it’s not a challenge to change her mind or trick her into thinking otherwise

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-11-19T03:04:56+00:00

The comments by women are focused on big picture issues, while the comments under the automod by men are focused on game. Go figure.

So from a game standpoint, the hardest part for men to grasp seems to be the dance between being assertive and kind. Guys hear that women are attracted to strength and confidence and go full douchbag.

Demasii · 2022-11-19T03:42:54+00:00

Most men don't understand that they are not just competing against other men enriching women's lives but also against the free time that singlehood brings women.

Especially when it comes to the additional domestic labor of cooking and cleaning for another person.

Men are so focused on the additional income they bring to the house hold that they don't look at the extra work that the house hold need to maintain a decent quality of life.

I always told myself when I was younger that I will never become a nagging wife (I'm not like other girls mentality) but here I am nagging my husband to take the dogs out to go to the bathroom when I'm cleaning our own bathroom.

These little but unnecessary daily stress can really take a toll on someone.

Barneysparky · 2022-11-18T22:54:01+00:00

Believing a service worker who is paid to be friendly wants you.

For older men, thinking it's ok to come on to young women who are young enough to be your granddaughter. It's one thing when a 40 year old shoots their shot, but something altogether disturbing when gramps tells you your rack has given him a boner and you should take care of it.

All men, thinking 'nice rack" is a compliment outside of a strip club. Just a few.

jonniethm · 2022-11-19T14:48:46+00:00

last night I asked my boyfriend to sit next to me on the couch, he said he was more comfortable watching the show on his couch which I get because of the angle of the tv and couches.

later I asked him why he doesn't hug me, he waved for me to get up and hug him. I said no I want a hug from you. the hug never happened.

I fell to sleep first. he came several hours later and woke me up to fuck me.

bro.....take care of your girl when she is clearly asking for it and not just when it's convenient for you. he's leaving for a month this week too. I know I should find another relationship but I love him and of course that is the story of almost every girls life.

CimZim · 2022-11-18T22:37:31+00:00

Understanding that our hormones don't rule our minds and actions, and just because we are upset or angry doesn't mean we're on our period. Those are normal emotions and don't only appear during those 3-4 days every month...and for some of us, they don't appear even then.

_demidevil_ · 2022-11-19T10:20:05+00:00

Another one is that we are not all the same woman. “A woman told me X so it must be true for all women”.

Trouvette · 2022-11-19T01:19:37+00:00

Understanding that women experience sex in a completely different way from men. Our brains lead our bodies. If we aren’t mentally stimulated, our bodies won’t be ready for sex. When we aren’t ready, that makes sex extremely painful for us. In the long run, if we don’t have a partner who understands this, it makes women sex-avoidant.

Capable-Resolve-2001 · 2022-11-18T23:54:37+00:00

What it's like living in the world when half the population is significantly bigger, stronger and more violent than you.

C-rad06 · 2022-11-18T22:47:33+00:00

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DissidentNeolib · 2022-11-18T23:35:12+00:00

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Upstairs-Rip-604 · 2022-11-19T02:13:14+00:00

Periods, pregnancy

AnonymouslyFlustered · 2022-11-19T05:12:21+00:00

Definitely remaining single

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2022-11-19T01:44:37+00:00

-I get angry like a normal human being, not because of hormones or my period I'm actually sluggish and mostly immobile on my period thanks to the excruciating pain thank you

-Dick isn't a magical cure

-If I don't want to have sex it's because I'm not horny at the moment, not because I'm "withholding" it like a jar of cookies

-No, I don't find being catcalled or wolf whistled at flattering from strangers

-No, creepy doesn't mean unattractive

-No, I'm not paranoid for wanting a gun to protect myself

-No, I'm not resentful of my femininity by being independent nor does it mean I hate men

-Having boundaries isn't an attack against you or all men

NockerJoe · 2022-11-18T23:10:16+00:00

The general consensus online and IRL from men is that they want sex more often then they have it.

Shockingly; you would think that this would incentivize most men to want to learn how to become the best lovers they can be….but they’re often not even close in regards to giving pleasure as they are to receiving it, and women are known to fake their pleasure as men are very sensitive to their (underwhelming) performance feedback.

Men don’t get it. If men genuinely tried hard to learn how to please women, women would likely enjoy sex more. For many women, sex often just feels like getting poked for a couple of neutral/unpleasurable minutes.

Funny…this goes along with new research coming out of OHSU that “just discovered” the clitoris has 10k nerve fibers. The research really only came about at all because of work being researched related to gender reassignment surgeries. Before that, the previous estimates stated we had 8k nerve fibers and that research was done on cows.

JFC. Men love sex supposedly but have poured no effort into being experts in female anatomy/pleasure.

Long story short: men don’t get it.

https://www.opb.org/article/2022/11/05/ohsu-research-clitorus-nerve-fibers-science/?outputType=amp

This discovery was made in 2022. Please let that sink in.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-11-19T07:38:26+00:00

That the only reason we can have casual sex any time we want is because most women don’t want. It’s like telling men they can get free tampons.

That this doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy sex at all.

That we are different, but not that different. Most men either over or under estimate the differences between the sexes. We are less aggressive and less horny but otherwise are just… people.

Georgie--George · 2022-11-19T13:58:30+00:00

Things wouldn't be so bad if these magical "good guys" spoke up more to help women. I find it crazy that women universally can help each other by either pretending to know the woman, calling the cops, or recording the incident. While males just put their heads in the sand and say they can't do anything at all.

It just makes you all look bad and as if none of you are safe. I've literally had older women help me with a creepy male. While males ask what was I doing outside in the first place.

_demidevil_ · 2022-11-19T09:43:47+00:00

That we are people just like them. So many men see women as mythical being who either have sexual value to them or not. They don’t see us as people, just like their male friends. They aren’t interested in getting to know women unless they are interested in sex.

catniagara · 2022-11-19T02:40:46+00:00

Like, today?

Okay.

At 6am my SO asked why I can’t just sleep in on a cold day instead of getting up, putting on the coffee pot, getting dressed and doing my makeup and then laying back down for 20 minutes before I start my day. He doesn’t get the way people treat me if I don’t wear makeup. He doesn’t get how cold I am, so I have to get up and take a hot shower and immediately put on like 9 sweaters. He doesn’t get that I wake up hungry as a bear and have to put something in my stomach. He doesn’t get that I need 45 minutes alone in the bathroom and at least 20 minutes alone at my desk to write down everything I need to do, which I woke up at 4am and started thinking about, before I forget.

He also doesn’t get that if HE got up earlier, we could have had sex again before I had to leave, but because he wanted to sleep in I couldn’t do anything about him wanting it. He doesn’t get that when he started something it just made me kinda cranky all day. There are so many guys! And none are him.

I have to wait in a line and some guy keeps walking up really close behind me and trying to make it look like an “accident” when he tries to press his hard on against my butt. After about the second time I “accidentally” step on his toe and “accidentally” fall backward to move the line back. Sexual assault seems to be normalized as a tactic to get women to do what you want. Men seem perfectly okay with doing shit like that to get a better spot on a bus or get to the front of a line faster.

I post about it online and inevitably some dumbass is like “so why did you have to assault him huh?” 🙄 and yet what would they do if some perv guy was humping THEIR leg? It would be on sight 🙄 but women are just supposed to be okay with getting sexually assaulted? Pfft.

There’s a totally hot guy in the coffee shop sitting on his phone. This absolutely gorgeous girl sits down at the table RIGHT beside him, and she’s obviously giving him the eye, literally staring at him, and he’s just ignoring it to play on his phone. She starts giggling to her friend and making comments about how cute he is and he’s just over there swiping tinder. I catch him outside talking to his friend about how there are no girls in the entire world to date like dude look UP like why are you so clueless.

At lunch there are 4 bro dudes from the gym sitting there talking about instagram girls and one of them is screaming loudly about how he met some 17 year old girl on Instagram. “Look at her ass, and she’s only 17!!!” His friends were applauding this pedophile shit while a group of high school girls just stare at them in panic and horror. As these guys become more and more graphic the girls become more and more terrified. Obviously they can’t leave until they pay. And I’ve seen guys like that follow girls like them around before. But this guy thinks he’s some super stud. His friends think he’s king shit of terd island. Eventually some mom tells them to shut the fuck up, it’s a family restaurant and there’s kids here. The teenaged girls move into a far corner behind a plant to hide from these douchebags and wait at least 10 minutes after they leave to walk out themselves.

Later there is an adorable couple wearing matching pyjama pants at the mall and I’m like awww cute and kinda smile at them. He gets this dumb grin on his face and gives me the elevator eyes like yeah right and then she scowls at me and pulls him closer like that’s what I meant to do and instead of making the girl he is with feel secure and like a queen he keeps turning his head to check ME out while she’s like dying inside. Completely clueless to the fact that we are both people with feelings. Guys have done that to me too and it always ends in a breakup and him complaining that he was the best bf ever like please.

A small Asian girl is shopping with her friends and when they check out ahead of her she’s stuck waiting for the lady at the till to check her out. Some 6 foot 600 lb guy who must be in his late 50s starts leaning over her like he’s trying to smell her hair or some shit and she is just cringing into herself and her friends are standing outside the store terrified and he doesn’t leave her alone so the checkout lady literally holds the sale she’s working on to go to the OTHER till and check this poor girl out.

Ah but wait! It’s Friday night. Some guy asked me out and I said, I’m not single. But I have a friend. He says he’ll bring a friend for her, I say we’ll bring another friend for him. Rather than having a good time both dudes go on about how my SO should share me or “give me” to someone “better” all night and one of my friends starts crying because her date thinks she’s ugly so it’s 9pm and my ass is in a ladies room on Reddit and not ONE of those dudes is getting laid.

….today

That’s not even half of it.

SegaNaLeqa · 2022-11-19T22:12:25+00:00

In my personal experience, when someone says “men don’t get it” what I hear is “I don’t know how to communicate it to you, nor have the energy to figure out how to at this very moment”. If someone close to you has said you aren’t getting something, revisit the topic at a later time and let them know you are genuinely interested in understanding their side of a situation if they are willing to take the time to tell you. If they are truly interested in informing you rather than just complaining for the sake of it, then they’ll take the time to communicate properly when they get the chance.

AdjectiveMcNoun · 2022-11-23T19:47:50+00:00

Overall, women do more housework than men and also do most of the child rearing. But unlike in the past women are now doing this while working full time outside of the home, often working even more hours than her partner.

Men often think that if they work and provide some money to the household, they are doing their share. But women are contributing money too, sometimes even more than the man so why should they have to do more housework?

When men get home and are tired and want quiet and need to go play games on their phone in the bathroom for an hour and have a drink, they don't realize that women are feeling just as tired and would love alone time but someone has to make dinner, feed the kids, walk the dog, do the laundry, help with homework, etc.

I don't personally have these issues but I have a friend that does. It's so frustrating for her .

TheHairyCooch · 2022-11-19T08:43:21+00:00

Getting advice from women is not good for men. Most women are never upfront about anything. All women play a game and if you don’t play the game you won’t get laid and if they don’t wanna play the game with you then your an incel. Satire! I repeat! Satire! I think it’s just understanding social language and being confident. In order to gain confidence you need experience however, to gain experience you need confidence.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-11-19T00:48:23+00:00

That we still face a lot of discrimination in the workplace and then can never understand that. That having access to endless casual sex is not something that’s fun for most of us.

_demidevil_ · 2022-11-19T10:12:41+00:00

Another one is they don’t get how common domestic and sexual abuse of women is, and how difficult It is to escape it. I think a lot of guys think it’s a rare thing that happens and a woman can just walk away if it happens or it’s her fault. They complain about unmet sexual needs and how hard it is for them - as if it’s worse than living with PTSD, forced pregnancies etc. Usually instead of accepting it’s the man’s fault for SA’ing, they find a way to blame the woman.

2022-11-19T00:02:53+00:00

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BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-11-19T00:20:46+00:00

I can't because I don't remember them. They are about as memorable as my first poop. That's what I mean by not getting it. The men that got it good, got a special memory slot. Make sense?

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Kobe_curry24 · 2022-11-19T01:51:23+00:00

I’ have never asked a women if their on they period at all like it hasn’t even crossed my mind

Title	Women: Can you expand on or give examples of men not "getting it"?
Author	Bedrocked
Upvotes	114
Comments	490
Date	November 18, 2022 10:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/yywgub/women_can_you_expand_on_or_give_examples_of_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-can-you-expand-on-or-give-examples-of-men.1144520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1144520

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