Being in Hookup Culture Is The Norm for Single Women, But Not For Men

TeacherSterling · 2024-11-23T13:28:21+00:00

Barring one exceptional case, being passport bro is very unlikely to get you anything close to the experience of a Top 5% Man. Especially if you are just an average looking white dude with an average job.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-11-23T13:58:35+00:00

How can we even have a decent debate if you start off saying you don’t trust the women to self report? You’re not even looking to debate in good faith from the jump so this post is just BS.

throwawayra32442 · 2024-11-23T15:41:26+00:00

Not every man can participate

WankerOnDuty · 2024-11-23T13:51:15+00:00

I heard this saying a long time ago and I believe it's accurate.

Men love the women they are attracted to.

Women are attracted to the men they love.

The issue with modern dating is that the cues and traits that men have that make them loved by women are not being projected, so only some major attributes get considered like looks, job, status. Gauging a partner just by a photo or video is not the way it's supposed to work. Because all these other traits and even behavioral cues are not being transferred for a woman's consideration, 80% of the men are now invisible.

Do you think the ugly bass guitarist who lands a hottie at the end of the show is considered ugly by the said hottie? No, she thinks she landed a trophy. And she is not wrong; this man climbed a social ladder with skill, creativity and maybe luck to where he is standing above other men, hence he is a catch and deserves to mate with her. An extreme example, but you get the point.

Women see so much in men that men don't see or look for in women. Traits like sense of humor, strength (both character and physical), social group standing, etc. None of these get transferred via an app or those mini-pre-dtf-chats.

It's a shitshow all around and there is no fix in sight because the current setup works for women on the sexual level, though not on an emotional level - the emotional level is being ignored and has been replaced with the thrill and excitement of getting naked with someone new. This then leads to a very high number of partners, so if and when the "nice" guy even has an opportunity with one of these women, he is now having the stress of dealing with a woman who has a large partner count which is a deal breaker in many instances.

But wait, it gets worst. A woman who has been exclusively cock hopping for 10 years via apps/hookups is now conditioned with the thrill and excitement of getting naked with new people regularly. If she ends up in stable relationship, this aspect is now missing; having been replaced with an emotional connection. I have no idea if this can negatively impact this relationship. Does she miss the thrill at some level?

I just re-read and I think I don't know what I am talking about. Going to comment anyway though, cuz reddit...

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-11-23T13:43:20+00:00

Only about 10 percent of people are engaged in hookup culture regularly.

https://www.bustle.com/p/the-size-of-hookup-culture-is-being-greatly-overestimated-report-finds-its-having-some-damaging-effects-61050

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2024-11-23T14:02:29+00:00

I ain't in that culture then 😤

Solondthewookiee · 2024-11-23T13:43:17+00:00

Well, the only statistic you can actually back up says the opposite of what you're claiming.

Just_Natural_9027 · 2024-11-23T13:43:35+00:00

This shouldn’t be a problem though for someone with red pill in their flair though right….?

Right…..?

This is what I find so hilarious about RP. Why do you “Alphas(tm)” care about losers who can’t get laid. All the RP flairs spent a lot of time on this? I wonder why…?

plantsadnshit · 2024-11-23T14:18:59+00:00

You don't trust women to report a number of sexual partners.. but you trust men?

ullivator · 2024-11-23T13:46:59+00:00

Oh my god not this again. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

All the reliable data we have suggest that the top-20% most promiscuous people (so not top-20% quality or attractiveness, just promiscuous) have a lot of sex with and among each other.

After that, the middle 60% of people date and partner up into monogamous or serially monogamous relationships.

The pool of men among the undateable bottom is probably slightly larger - we might be talking about 30% vs 20%. But the Alpha Harem theory is incorrect.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-11-23T13:49:08+00:00

Like 90% of men had sex last year. Wtf are you talking about?

Edit: 87%, close enough.

Proudvow · 2024-11-23T16:45:20+00:00

People don't count have sex on the first date as hookup culture. Hookup culture is considered going straight to bed after a social gathering, or right off an app.

However it might as well count relative to the guys stuck waiting multiple dates/weeks before any sex.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2024-11-23T20:56:30+00:00

You hit the nail on the head about Passport Bros, those men are going where their value is the highest and I don't see how anyone can blame them for that.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2024-11-24T07:32:46+00:00

5% of guys get 90% of the matches on dating apps.

10% of men get 58% of the likes
Top 40% get ~96% of the likes
Top 5% get 41%

https://qz.com/1051462/these-statistics-show-why-its-so-hard-to-be-an-average-man-on-dating-apps

Unless you have a better source.

SillyWoman733 · 2024-11-25T09:44:56+00:00

i dont understand how people can expect sub5 males to want to contribute to and support society, they'll wageslave alone for decades and then get a single mother. like, why would they do anything for a society that does nothing for them?

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-11-23T13:30:02+00:00

Are you a single sexually confident woman, a single attractive man, or are you just sitting in your apartment citing stats like a 🤓?

FreitasAlan · 2024-11-23T18:53:26+00:00

The only data you give to compare men and women directly has a higher value of 79% for men.

Also, your title is about the norm (meaning 50 percentile) but the second article is about the behavior of the 95th percentile. Of course women will have more sexual partners there. If both decide they'll have as much sex as possible, it’s just much easier for women.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-11-23T14:09:47+00:00

If 64% of women are in committed relationships and half of the rest aren’t actively dating, that’s 18% of women who are actively dating. 1/3 of 18 is 6, so according to your own math, that’s 6% of women who are potentially into “hookup culture”.

If your argument is that that 6% of women is exclusively going for the top 5% of men (and considering that there are 5-7% more men than women), those numbers sound pretty even…

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-11-23T13:54:19+00:00

Aaaand another "struggle olympics" thread...

What do you get out of constantly repeating the now well known fact that most women are not attracted to most men?

We KNOW it and we KNOW the implications (key words: supply and demand, OLD, casual sex, relationships, etc.)

The religious assertion that 2 + 2 = 4 will never change the fact that it's 4.

Women like hot men, and because men want women much more than women want men, women can and will select the best they can. Guys would do the same IF they were in that position and the few that are (we call them Chad) behave just like that. It's that simple.

Be hot or gtfo.

I think if I were a woman, I would dry up like the Sahara desert because of the manginas that today's men are.

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KayRay1994 · 2024-11-23T13:35:42+00:00

<image>

i pictured this while reading the post

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RoseyButterflies · 2024-11-23T16:23:21+00:00

Whats your point?

Are you mad that they participate in hookup culture or what??

Spill the beans

Broad_Complaint744 · 2024-11-24T08:30:39+00:00

As a little personal experiment, I suggest OP find a few of the hookup subs for his area scroll through and see how many men vs. women. Then and I did this one night with my female friend, post a little naughty post saying you're home alone with nothing to do, wearing nothing and need a man to help get off before you hump the sofa. Then, wait for the 100s of dms from the men you say don't hook up or seek meaningless sex.

Enjoy, Pill Popper!

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-11-24T10:25:57+00:00

Okay so let me get this straight. You are claiming that passport bros exit because these none attractive men want to hookup as if they were attractive? Man what a shocker about any party involved lmao.

KorinTowerFreeloader · 2024-11-26T12:40:29+00:00

It's funny because every time this topic comes up a lot of women get all defensive and say I am not a part of the hookup culture. In fact, the vast majority will claim that. If that was true, how come it's virtually impossible to find a virgin in her 20s while looking for a girlfriend? My point being, the vast majority of women were part of the hookup culture, thus they are part of the problem. If you have engaged in casual sex even just once, that's you being a part of it. You skew and ruin the dating market for all of us by sleeping with men that you are not in a committed relationship with.

Warm_Position_8889 · 2024-11-28T21:18:01+00:00

Simp site beware.!!! Why are men sp insecure with women where there is more women than men. Cuz men allow it

Workout, make money, and spend with parents before they move on. Don't feel insecure cuz I guarantee you: MOST WO??? ARE OBESED, Short and GED graduate.

Have Pride to yourself, men. Prioritize yourself,God,parents/children, and Money!

EffectiveAsparagus89 · 2024-11-29T15:57:40+00:00

This is the plain and simple truth. It requires Olympic level mental gymnastics to not believe in this totally.

flipsidetroll · 2024-11-23T17:37:17+00:00

It must be so sad an existence to be so propagandised by the internet. You don’t trust women to self report? Yet, you’ll trust men on the internet who self report their success and body count. And you’ll trust those men who also tell you that women shouldn’t be trusted to self report. Yet, majority of those men have been caught out lying, and you have no way to verify their stories of success or body count. And those men are actively using you for money. So everything you hate about feminists, or OF, or beta bux (insert any term you like), you are doing that exact same behaviour. You subscribe, or buy books, or tip, all those men. You are the beta bux, except you do it for men.

harmonica2 · 2024-11-23T13:47:00+00:00

It was said here before that a lot of women in their 20s don't feel like getting into long-term relationships because they feel like they will be left for the guy once they reach their 30s.

Is this true and is this the majority reason why women want to just hook up in their twenties?

ToughingItOut82 · 2024-11-23T15:58:39+00:00

I’m supportive of passport bros in general, but it doesn’t seem great that guys who are not in the top 5% here go to third world counties so they can experience what it’s like to be in the top 5% of men. I get the impression that many passport bros like to be players in third world counties.

You know, that’s not cool. Being a top 5% player in the US is different because American women live in an affluent country with many educational opportunities. If a woman tries chasing Chad and fails, she has plenty to fall back on. She doesn’t need a man in the first place, which is why she had the luxury of chasing Chad.

It’s not the same to date women who are stuck in dictatorships or who have poor access to clean water and regular electricity. Jerk move to wave a carrot in front of third world poors.

If you want to go passport bro in hopes of finding a wife, that’s great, but otherwise, that’s kind of shitty.

SeaSquirrel · 2024-11-23T16:26:01+00:00

I bet you have no female friends

mashedturnip · 2024-11-23T14:24:58+00:00

Your friend would have to take a dozen girls home every weekend to skew the numbers like you’re claiming

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-11-23T14:29:04+00:00

i must be missing something

you are going to bars and clubs so isnt this kind of behavior to be expected

ConstantCode8637 · 2024-11-23T21:47:14+00:00

Youre not even a woman tho. You're trying too hard to speak on behalf of women, their experiences and what they want. A lot of what you're saying about them is not accurate and you are just living thru what you see your buddies doing and stats.

There’s 5 times as many single women consistently getting with the top 5% of men. Dating women share these men. This is why women say dating sucks, they want the top men to commit to them.

No bro. You are conflating women participating in hookup culture with women who value real committed relationships. A lot of women hooking up are NOT seeking men to commit to, they just want to get fucked. You're assuming nearly every woman who has casual sex with a man later decides she wants a relationship. I've noticed men are more like that.

Women aren't like men in that sense. Men usually have no problem jumping into bed with a woman early on, then if he likes the sex and he's digging her, he'll consider a relationship w her. Whereas any woman who truly wants a relationship they know you don't give the cookie up to a man you barely know, and they typically have sex within a committed relationship

Who tf cares if women are having casual sex. They are allowed to, men AND women both opted into a society where men don't have to propose just to get sex, and women no longer need to be virgin brides. Men are EASY as hell, so it's only the norm for SOME women because men will do anything to get their dick wet

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2024-11-23T22:55:31+00:00

The links you post don’t support your argument

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-11-24T17:14:00+00:00

“I don’t trust women to self report” but I trusted this other self report because it coincided with my previously held beliefs.

Dude. Just because women have had 1 ons doesn’t mean she “actively engages in hookup culture.” We know the average sexual partners is 6 and 7 for men. It’s self report but anonymous. And other studies show people have no reason to lie on any widespread scale for anonymous reports. We know how many sexual partners the average person had in the last year. Less than 3 was the norm for most. 3 isn’t hookup culture. It’s a few monogamous relationships.and through it, most people find their partner for life. Since, you know, Most people cap out around 6-7.

You can’t pick and choose what data you want to believe. I mean I guess you can but Just because you don’t want to believe it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It just makes you willfully ignorant.

SmilesRHere · 2024-11-23T22:16:42+00:00

Unfortunately illiteracy, poor education and lack of critical thinking is pushing far too many single men to interpret all data incorrectly.

It’s absolutely mind boggling to see some people believing that women “share” men, there is absolutely zero proof of women sharing the same man, and even less of women wanting anything of the kind.

As for the belief that a man can successfully date 5 different women? I’ve tried it, at the peak of my physical endurance, as a pro swimmer.

Not possible for long.

I had the endurance of someone swimming 10 miles a day, able to do 9-10 hours of sports with just 30 minutes break, starting with 2 hours of swimming, followed by 30 minutes for lunch, which was followed by 4 hours of tennis under the sun on a clay court, followed by an hour of volleyball, which was followed by the evening 2 hours of swimming.

I still did not have the endurance to have sex with 5 women for more than a week or two. And I tried this during winter, so only swimming practice, 2-3 hours in the morning, and the same in the evening, so no tennis, volleyball etc.

At the end of the first week dating and having sex with 5 women, I looked like a boxer who lost a fight, black circles around my eyes, pale, exhausted. I was 22 and as healthy and physically fit as anyone can be and still ended up exhausted.

At the end of week one, both my coach and my family asked me to see a doctor thinking I was seriously sick, I looked that bad, and I was that exhausted.

I ended it with two, thinking I could handle three if not five, by the end of the second week, I looked even worse, and ended two more, continued dating only one woman.

It’s just not possible to sustain having hours and hours of sex every single day, not even as a pro athlete.

So I would like someone to explain to me how the “top 5%” of guys, 99% of which are not pro-athletes, don’t have anywhere the physical endurance of one, can manage to date and have sex with an average of 5 women consistently?

It just is not possible.

EugeneCezanne · 2024-11-24T02:23:46+00:00

There's too great a tendency to rely on binary thinking when it comes to normative social behavior. Is "hookups culture" the norm? No. Nor is it anything resembling a single, homogenous or coherent culture. But neither is being black, or gay, or super religious, etc. The minorities all these terms describe are, nevertheless, common enough to be normalized—and if you live in a populous enough area, you'll encounter them everywhere and all the time.

In my estimation, most single people are tourists in hookup world. They dabble between serial monogamous relationships. As such there is an inflow and outflow of new people. The really promiscuous people are typicallly the ones who are just built different. They (we) are just plain about that life. This is especially true after one's early 20s, when you're not facing peer pressure, "experimenting", trying to impress anyone, or live up to some archetype you fantasized about as a teenager, or whatever.

Which leads me to a complaint about trp. The guys who subscribe to it and want to become plate spinners kind of kill the vibe. The gamification, overanalysis and often bitterness is a buzz kill. The rest of the hookup culture regulars get pretty chill as they mature. Then come all of these internet-schooled tryhards with bad, phony attitudes. The ideology seems to forcibly stunt their emotional development.

PracticalControl2179 · 2024-11-23T22:56:24+00:00

Dating and finding men to give them affection is what the majority of single women do

Why do you equate this with hooking up? Hookups do not lead to affection.

Title	Being in Hookup Culture Is The Norm for Single Women, But Not For Men
Author	rustlerhuskyjeans
Upvotes	156
Comments	450
Date	November 23, 2024 1:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gxziy8/being_in_hookup_culture_is_the_norm_for_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-in-hookup-culture-is-the-norm-for-single.1536639 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536639

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