Q4M: Why do you want a relationship?

kyjolski · 2022-01-12T04:12:51+00:00

Because loving and being loved is a normal human need, and a good relationship with the right person can greatly enrich one's life.

Did subs like these warp people to the point that such things need explaining? Sad.

DesertSweat · 2022-01-12T02:24:06+00:00

Someone to annoy for the rest of my life

MalePsychopath · 2022-01-12T03:08:54+00:00

I personally don’t want a relationship but I can absolutely see why many men want one. There’s probably nothing that enriches your life like a good healthy ltr.

So there’s obviously the sex but also the non-sexual intimacy. That’s quite nice.

Then you have some practical benefits. You can split the rent when you live together and split things like cooking and cleaning. You have someone to take care of you when you’re sick. You can save money for example when buying household appliances because each one pays half.
Raising children is easier when you do it together.

You get love, emotional support and companionship. There’s someone who’ll have your back when times are rough. That gives you a nice feeling of security because you know that there will always be someone to catch you when you fall.
You can support and encourage each other and take more risks. As a team, you can definitely achieve much more than you could on your own.
You have someone you can trust and be your true self around them.

Bottom line is that life is just easier and more fun when you go through it with someone by your side.

Murphysmongoose · 2022-01-12T04:28:10+00:00

Other than love, affection, companionship, best FWB and so much more... I like the little things they do. The cute little nuances and quarks you learn in them, and how they treat you.

I love a woman smelling me, for example. There is not much more satisfying, imo, than a woman just sniffing you like she's on a fabric softener commercial. Smelling and wearing your shirts... It makes you feel good, like you're a treat, like chocolate or candy.

JohnDoe_Rip · 2022-01-12T02:35:52+00:00

The companionship.

BokkoTheBunny · 2022-01-12T04:01:26+00:00

A long term, intimate, close bond between what would ideally be life long friends. There's an intimacy you can only really have with a sexual partner, so that's part of it, but not even close to the whole.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-01-12T03:57:07+00:00

It’s true that most men don’t care about a woman’s job or income.

It’s completely false that most men don’t care about a woman’s “personality”. I have very rarely heard this said either in this thread or in real life. In terms of a long term relationship a woman’s personally is even more important then her looks and “willingness to have sex”. When a man says he wants somebody that is “agreeable” and “pleasant” he is of course saying he wants a woman with an agreeable and pleasant personality. These are the personality traits he finds most desirable in a woman.

StopTheIncels · 2022-01-12T02:51:38+00:00

Climbing partner lol

baresquad · 2022-01-12T02:56:43+00:00

I genuinely enjoy the women I date or dated.

Albeit casually, we literally have some of the best connections that when it does come time to settle down, I don’t wanna miss out on that

Footleather · 2022-01-12T04:03:48+00:00

A friend. Someone I want to have a close connection to. Someone I want to share my interests with.

Ryanmp99 · 2022-01-12T04:16:32+00:00

Physical intimacy, someone to share my life with other than my guy friends and family. I’m only 22 and still getting started post-graduation but I’d rather not live alone forever when I do get a house.

Bendetto4 · 2022-01-12T07:47:22+00:00

A confidant, a friend, someone to direct romantic gestures to, someone to explore the world with, a team mate, another pair of hands when I'm building furniture, another source of income when I buy a house (for the mortgage), someone I can celebrate and support, and someone who will celebrate and support me.

MrTanglesIII · 2022-01-12T02:44:57+00:00

To have someone to share my life with. I may or may not be in the minority here, but I definitely take a potential partner's personality into account when deciding whether or not I'd be with them. Why would I want to be with them if they're vapid, or inconsiderate, or insincere, or just a bitch? Career wise, I would certainly take it into account, but only so long as they're happy with doing what they do, or are using it as a stepping stone to what they really want to do. I'd certainly want a partner that I find attractive, but that's subjective, and not an idea exclusive to men. I would think that really any of my thoughts would apply to women seeking a relationship as well. If men aren't thinking the same thing, then I'd imagine they haven't hit a point in their lives that that's what they want, or they just will never be "truly relationship oriented," is a way I'd put it without that being a great way to say it.

da_trealest · 2022-01-12T07:05:20+00:00

This world can be a tough and lonely place.

It's really nice to have someone beside you that you can share your most intimate feelings and thoughts with.

stlmick · 2022-01-12T03:23:19+00:00

Love is a drug. I've been madly in love with women that were a terrible idea, but I probably would have done anything for. Its also a feeling that doesn't happen very often. Finding someone that you love altruistically, putting their happiness before your own, in a situation that it does not often bite you in the ass, is a lottery ticket that can't be ignored. There are people who are head over heels in love with each other. That would do it all again with each other without a second thought. Those people do exist. It is not common. Its out there though. Its that massive oxytocin/dopamine, whatever feeling that some people have every day, that I think most people want. Probably most of us are too jaded, inexperienced or terrified to even know what to do with it if we found it in a positive situation, and would probably fuck it up if only to not be afraid of losing it. In hindsight, I probably had two shots at it if I had known what I was doing. There were far more situations that would not have been good if they had continued, and my life would likely be far worse if they had. This has gone a bit off topic, but men do want to find that kind of love. Many are just incapable of locating it or knowing what to do with it, and often try to get it from the wrong person.

Few-Distribution-586 · 2022-01-12T03:40:50+00:00

Is it really a question of "wanting"? I've been in a relationship for 15 years and I never stopped to think about why.

I do what I like with the person I love. I know some people struggle with relationship, but I think this "mentality" of wanting something that is not entirely in your control is just setting yourself for failure.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-01-12T04:53:21+00:00

Someone fun to be with is a good start. Someone to care about. A good relationship feels more supportive and accepting than a normal friendship. It's a little deeper because it is so intimate. It's fun to have someone to socialize with when you are confidantes.

izzzy12k · 2022-01-12T05:14:54+00:00

Someone to talk to, but like a partner in life or best friend..

Someone to share fun and (non sexual) intimate moments with.

To know that someone actually cares about you, just as you do them.

It's always nice to think about someone when you see memory triggers (like their favorite candy, color, animal, etc.)

It's always nicer to snuggle up and binge watch movies or shows with someone special.

Having those random lunch dates with them to just hangout or get away from the everyday mundane lunch at your desk or alone somewhere, is so much more desirable.

Receiving gifts and giving gifts with someone special, simply hits different. Even that search to find them that perfect gift. It carries your spirit in a different way than gift shopping for your parents/siblings or even your kids.

I could keep going, but this list seems long enough.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2022-01-12T10:33:54+00:00

I didnt want one......i just fell in love with someone i consider special and I want her to live life in a more pleasant way, so thats why i started a relationship with her, i consider her precious and worthy of protection.

ogsimpology · 2022-01-12T11:11:06+00:00

someone you can always think about fondly, knowing they think about you aswell
being able to call or text them whenever, about anything
getting random texts of them expressing their love for you, or voice messages
getting random pictures of them throughout the day, smiling at you, trying to be cute and such
having a person around your arm in public
having someone to take out to different places and share experiences together, which are further enhanced by your mutual love for one another
little kisses, hugs, cute comments
someone who hypes you up, tells you you look good, which you know they mean because they're sexually attracted to you
having someone sexually interested in you (gives huge confidence boost)
status symbol (not important to me, but I listed it anyway, it's more of a social thing, where girls are more likely to trust you since you're already taken)
someone you can partner up in life with, share finances and make life easier and more enjoyable
having someone to help you out with anything you need, enthusiastically, without question.
loving sex (a partner that knows what you like and is willing to give it)

A lot of you will say "you can get this from a friend too". I'll just respond with a quick no. It's NOT the same.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-01-12T11:27:40+00:00

Just don’t want to be alone sometimes. It’s true, a woman’s career and level of education is more of an after thought. You want someone kind, warm, and affectionate. And not affectionate meaning high libido but someone who loves to cuddle and hold you a lot. I work several jobs and sometimes the strain of them and coming home to an empty house, tired and sore, just sucks. I have hobbies but sometimes they eventually just don’t mean much. You crave that special someone to do goofy things with, someone you can be vulnerable around and you holds yourselves together when things get rough.

Edit: if I can be a little picky, I’d prefer a little cute nerdy girl over let’s say a Victoria secret model.

back_in_blyat · 2022-01-12T13:47:13+00:00

The answer to that is as blatantly obvious as if the question was "why do you want friends". Because humans crave various types of connections, and intimate relationships are one of those.

thatguyoverthere098 · 2022-01-12T05:53:31+00:00

For me it’s someone who I could see as trustable and mature, on top of physically attractive. Which isn’t hard because so many women are physically attractive.

Stahlboden · 2022-01-12T07:35:04+00:00

Stable sex. Being validated as a man, not as a man-shaped utility. Caring for someone and being cared for. Maybe children one day (I'm 30, don't feel I'm ready yet). Home duties is tricky, because mom used the "I do the chores for you so you're automatically wrong in any argument" and it went under my skin. I live alone and I'm fine doing my chores for myself.

KamuiObito · 2022-01-12T09:13:07+00:00

I want my life to be filled with love and not solitude

CliffordThRed · 2022-01-12T18:15:16+00:00

I love my wife because she's funny and we have a good conversation about the absolute STATE of the world. She's also an amazing mother and she supports me to be my best, and has stood by me despite my difficulties and addiction. These are non sexual, and mostly non Labour related reasons why I love my wife.

NICHIJOU2411 · 2022-01-12T06:47:12+00:00

I want someone who we can both take care of each other, help each other through problems, and enjoy each other’s company. Is this a good enough answer or are you going to brush it off and continue blaming men for your bitterness?

Barely-moral · 2022-01-12T02:54:13+00:00

only care about a woman’s appearance, willingness to have sex, and performance of domestic labor in evaluating relationship potential

I also care about how she fits into my plans. I don't want kids, if she wants kids, she doesn't have a place in my life. Just an example.

Other than that, you seem to be right.

Many of you have admitted you don’t really care about a woman’s job or income or personality, beyond being “pleasant” or “agreeable.”

I have admitted that. I also gave a quite detailed explanation about what "pleasant" is.

-No covert contracts.

-Don't put words in my mouth. If I didn't say it, then I didn't mean it.

-Don't put toughts in my head. If my motives are not clear, ask, don't assume.

-Show affection in a way that is actually recieved.

-Give the benefit of the doubt. Don't assume malice where it could be error. Don't assume a negative long term pattern of behavior when it could be a fluke or isolated incident.

-Forgive. Honestly.

-When things go south either help or shut up and get out of the way while I solve the shit in question. If you don't kknow how to help then just say "I know you got this" and GTFO

In a healthy relationship your partner does not provide you with everything you need. There are some social needs that I can only get through other friends/activities that don't involve my partner.

-Don't get in the way of that.

Do you have any non-sexual, non-labor reasons to get into a relationship with a woman?

Yes. I get suicidal when I am not in a LTR.

Spacct · 2022-01-12T04:20:39+00:00

I'm married, but it was because I wanted a real best friend I can have sex with. Not the typical angry frenemy most women seem to want to be in relationships, but rather an actual understanding true friend who sees the real me and wants to build a life with me and who enjoys the same things I do (one of which is good sex).

I lived on my own for years before I met her and I'm more than capable of running my own house and working my own job. I couldn't care less about her doing the housework or whether she has a job, I just want someone to chill with who isn't bitter and hateful and constantly looking to put me down to make herself feel good. Someone I know would actually take care of me when I can't take care of myself, and whose judgement and intentions I can trust.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2022-01-12T03:48:16+00:00

Nope. I just want a bang-maid to spoil.

zyramain69 · 2022-01-12T02:43:17+00:00

No, I don't have any non-sexual, non-labor reasons to be in a relationship with someone that wants to be with me for economic, emotional tampon reasons

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-01-12T02:56:29+00:00

There used to be a word people used. That word was “helpmeet” - I imagine you’ll have to look it up, because it’s no longer a part of our culture. But suffice to say, a couple forming a team to create a family is a beautiful thing. I’m sorry that when men here point out (I don’t care about her degree) that they don’t go further and explain to you what they do care about

It’s also a bit weird that when you encountered one of these comments you didn’t just reply and ask, but okay.

I’ll actually go further and say that as a man not looking for a family, the main reason I love spending time with women is that I feel useful when I do. Service and purpose and important sources of happiness for men. I feel good about myself when I help someone

And even if it doesn’t get to that, I love making women laugh, making them happy. That’s what I enjoy about flirting. There’s a Christopher Hitchens video you can look up where he expresses the same sentiment better than I can. And if this flirting progresses to sex, then there too what I love is making her feel good.

Bitter, unhappy blue pillers and feminists such as yourself create out of whole cloth these negative narratives, and your unhappiness is your own damn fault. Check this out: if I were to point to the fixation men have with bringing a woman to orgasm (and you know exactly what I mean) I would intend that as a good thing; illustrative of the male desire to please women

But you’re primed by that toxic ideology to see it as a negative. Go on, tell me how you view it. I know exactly what you’re thinking. “Men only care about womens orgasms as a way of boosting their own egos!!!”

How sad and lost you are

Every man reading these words wishes he lived in a world where “women suck dick because of their egos”. Lol no man would portend himself a victim because of that!

Men love women. We really do! Look at TRP. At its core it’s about our desire to change ourselves into literally whatever you find attractive. We believe you find fit men attractive so we’re all about lifting etc. we believe you find confident men attractive so we try to cultivate that in ourselves

But hey, if we’re wrong then please please for the love of god tell us what you are attracted to! This is the extent of our love for you that we don’t give a shit what the specifics are. We’ll do whatever.

You can’t imagine how much I would love to live in a world where you have the same interest in pleasing us. Show me the women’s subreddit where they ask what men want and commit themselves to delivering that. That’s so rare that women who figure it out are instantly removed from the dating pool, leaving behind only fds and the like.

You don’t ask (or seem to care) but occasionally you get hints when men tell you, “we don’t care about your degree” and here you go, with your toxic feminism, primed to interpret everything as a negative- you conclude “men only care about our bodies” and you post a whole thread and are not even self aware enough to be embarrassed by this.

It never occurs to you that the choices aren’t “degree” or “used for sex” - the option of being feminine never even occurs to you. A man tells you he doesn’t care about your degree and you jump right to thoughts of sex

I pity you

logiauser · 2022-01-12T02:42:03+00:00

Companionship if they are reasonably sane.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-01-12T04:09:44+00:00

To want a relationship is something that practically every human being( male or female) desires. We are all social creatures. Even the most misanthropic, anti-social person is still seeking connections with other human beings. It’s just what humans do and is the reason something like Reddit exists in the first place. If you can throw sex into the mix as well than all the better.

Gerpstarg · 2022-01-12T04:49:48+00:00

Because having a girl is a must, this is what the society tells you. If you dont have one, you are either incel or gay.

purplish_possum · 2022-01-12T05:56:51+00:00

Money! She needs to have a six-figure income to be considered LTR/marriage material.

Marriage is an economic arrangement. What's the point if she doesn't bring some cash to the table?

pyscho94 · 2022-01-12T10:41:10+00:00

Because I'm lonely as hell, and I want genuine affection. I want a partner that trusts me and that I can trust. Life is great, but better when we're 2

theinexperiencedguy · 2022-01-12T11:04:48+00:00

Would be nice to have a real friend you do everything with thats not a dude.

goochiegg · 2022-01-12T13:51:11+00:00

A homie i can have sex with from time to time

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-01-12T04:04:45+00:00

Many of you have admitted you don’t really care about a woman’s job or income or personality, beyond being “pleasant” or “agreeable.”

This is the no true Scotsman fallacy.

If you don't "admit" to the OP's claims, you cannot answer.

Do you have any non-sexual, non-labor reasons to get into a relationship with a woman?

Do women have any non-sexual or non-labour reasons to get into a relationship with a man?

On one end of the spectrum, FWB's are a sexual relationship, on the other end of the spectrum, Husbands are a labour relationship for rearing children.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-01-12T08:34:30+00:00

You're misinterpreting what men are saying.

Autonate · 2022-01-12T12:37:22+00:00

I want a raging feminist who makes a point to show how she's more of a man than I am and how me being a man is the root of all evil. She must say how all men are trash predators and look at me as a wallet. Bonus points if she wants to get married so she can divorce in a few years and take some money.

Chaddamhusein · 2022-01-12T07:47:59+00:00

Sex, women have consistently disappointed me when it comes to any other thing beyond that

ledatherockband · 2022-01-12T04:28:27+00:00

The right relationship is good for all: man, woman, existing or potential children, other friends and family members of yours and theirs.

As a software engineer working to launch their own start up, my future wife will play a vital role even if she never touches a keyboard or lifts a pen just with her support, encouragement, keeping me sane, keeping me fed, and the other various support duties she’ll be taking up.

WaxFisticuffs · 2022-01-12T08:39:07+00:00

Women who aren’t misandrist garbage exist.

Lots of women love the dd/lg kink or the 1950s household.

We would get along great.

Your stupid strawman version is irrelevant.

Being a pleasant decent looking straight woman isn’t that hard but the harpies here act like it’s a holocaust to suffer less than royal treatment while delivering literally nothing

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-01-12T02:46:34+00:00

This is something I think about a lot. Why do people even seek out relationships? I’ve gotten plenty of relationships by acting like I wanted them, but really I had ulterior motives and was just telling them what they want to hear.

I remember being rejected as a teenager and girls saying things like "why do you even like me?" Or "you don’t like me, you just like the idea of me" and it’s like no matter what I said it wasn’t the right thing because they just wanted an excuse to not sleep with me or date me.

But Idk, the reason I’m in a relationship now is because we’re horribly codependent. We can’t function without each other because of mental health issues. I don’t know what the right answer is for having a relationship.

I want casual sex and attention from other women because it’s validation and it makes up for being rejected when I was younger, and I want my relationship because it is safe and I do care about her and love her deeply.

I guess now that I’m older I want a family, but that is only because if one of us dies I don’t want the other to be alone and having kids is the only way to solve that.

Other than that I don’t even want to be here, I’m just too scared to end things so I’m the meantime it’s nice to have someone to hang out with and see every day who I feel comfortable with and close to, but I think I’m a horrible and evil person and I don’t deserve her

deathbecomesme123456 · 2022-01-12T02:20:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Complete-Temporary-6 · 2022-01-12T03:26:45+00:00

I don't GG

Mittelfingerhoch2-6 · 2022-01-12T05:09:28+00:00

Being with someine pleasant who is sexually into me 24/7/365 arround the world together.

TheRedPillRipper · 2022-01-12T06:03:58+00:00

non-sexual

Ultimately it all boils down to family. The people; with whom we spend the majority of our lives with. Invest time in. To build a life. I’m not saying you can’t have that, without living together. It’s simply that humans are herd animals. In terms of investment; there’s none greater.

Godspeed and good luck!

true-pure-vessel · 2022-01-12T10:24:58+00:00

Because men don’t get enough physical affection in their day to day life from anyone except an SO

SirTruffleberry · 2022-01-12T12:08:16+00:00

The question is nonsensical. Any reason I could give for wanting to be with [insert sex here] will necessarily involve their sex...otherwise we wouldn't be referring to them by their sex.

AlienMoonSugar · 2022-01-12T14:14:28+00:00

To the men in this thread making comments about like the little things and stuff. There’s a special place in heaven just for you. It was reassuring to read some of your comments.

quaker5 · 2022-01-12T02:54:52+00:00

DjangoUBlackBastard · 2022-01-12T05:04:37+00:00

The real answer is that the only reason I'd enter a monogamous sexual relationship with a woman is because I want kids and I see her being the mother of my kids someday. There's obviously requirements I expect of anyone that has access to me (bringing peace, basic compatibility, being a friend) but none of those things require sexual exclusivity. The ONLY reason to be sexually exclusive to someone has to be sexual in nature.

And friendships are labor. I helped my friends move last time they moved. If tomorrow they called me and needed help from me I'd do it. Hell women expect labor out of their men too. Everyone expects labor out of people they keep around them. If you want someone that doesn't expect labor out of your to keep your relationship rolling smoothly you want a fan, not a friend or partner.

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New_Calligrapher_678 · 2022-01-12T02:50:46+00:00

Might be the natural instinct but closing in on 30 I find myself wanting kids. Wanting to be a dad and raise a family. With that being said, For me personally, I seek a higher quality of thinking and desire in women. I seek a women who wants to be a mother. In this time and age, patience is definitely a virtue.

TheBookOfSeil · 2022-01-12T04:02:06+00:00

If I actually got in a relationship that lasted for awhile, it would mean that I succeeded in finding someone who wasn't figuratively gae.

John_Oakman · 2022-01-12T04:06:43+00:00

At this point? Fulfilling social obligations so as to be seen as useful by society, and anything more than that is considered entitlement so I have mentally and emotionally suppressed them.

Knight_of_Inari · 2022-01-12T04:47:14+00:00

Companionship and intimacy, that's pretty much it.

SimilarSurround715 · 2022-01-12T04:50:05+00:00

It’s nice to date someone and share your life with. A really a choice between that & everything else lol.

M3taBuster · 2022-01-12T06:02:32+00:00

- a companion with whom I have a deeper emotional bond than my friends

- non-sexual physical affection

- sex (eventually, although I do want to wait)

- just having more frequent company with someone

- someone with whom to split expenses and/or household chores in order to make both of our lives easier

JohnnyMnemo · 2022-01-12T06:24:05+00:00

I have found that there is a value in telling me thing that I don't know. I suppose you'd get that from any friend, not just a friend of the opposite sex.

But to have someone that I can learn from that I can also bang has value.

supercreativenamelol · 2022-01-12T06:26:15+00:00

I need someone to do my chores. That's probably labor but I want to be the only one working and making money in the relationship. Doing chores is sort of a job on its own tbh

sunkized · 2022-01-12T06:43:24+00:00

Sex.

cykasenpai · 2022-01-12T06:49:18+00:00

For a perspective into fashion, cooking, different ways of socializing, female outlook on things, kids, support emotionally and all the rest. Also women behave differently which can just be so much fun in certain situations.

eyewave · 2022-01-12T06:51:48+00:00

I don't know.

In my current relationship I enjoy my gf's company when we meet, but I don't see us ever living together, mainly because it is an age gap relationship, she's older. I just enjoy sharing times when we cuddle and care about each other, in the good as in the bad times. Currently she's recovering from a painful dental operation so I'm gonna go at hers, prepare a nice purée and watch a movie together so she doesn't stay on her own.

Regardless of my current relationship, the woman I could see myself living with is as follows:

child-free.
has a life on her own as in hobbies she can entertain on her own when I mind my own business too (I love having time alone with whatever hobby at hand) OR even better
can share my hobbies in supporting me and learning the same things I did, then giving me a bit of her her time to build a project together.
sometimes shows up in my family or friend reunions.

In return I can: not be an ass about chores, organize a holiday, watch hallmark channel movies, cook dinner, show up at her family or friends reunions...

This said I find it a bit intimidating to be loyal for decades so I wonder at the opportunity of having some sort of open couple arrangement. But I am not sure whether that's what I want or what I need.

kayakr1194 · 2022-01-12T06:52:19+00:00

To have someone who supports me through listening, compassion and teamwork. Someone who I can support in the same way, and be a witness to each other's lives.

manthony_24 · 2022-01-12T08:00:19+00:00

I want a women who is independent and who doesn’t rely on men financially. Im looking for a partner who can help provide for the family. And as a man its not my obligation to make women happy. Happiness comes from with in.

BrokennnGlass · 2022-01-12T11:02:02+00:00

sex,friend,affection,jokes,movies,travel buddy,athletic

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-01-12T11:36:11+00:00

For me, just someone I can chill with drama free. When I was single, I had a lot of lonely nights where I just wished I had someone around.

callofthesupramonte · 2022-01-12T12:28:34+00:00

There was, however, honestly reasoning about it, there isn't any. Of course, love deprivation hurts a lot and I need physical contact, but with a partner there's always a condition for it to happen.

I need someone whom I can call family. No woman really wants that. I need the kind of love that's spoken about in the poems. Unconditional. With no requirements. Genuine. Something that doesn't feel forced. But that is impossible to achieve. Whether if it's a friendship or a romantic relationship. I don't care about labor and sex comes secondary for me (it sure is present, but it's not the most important thing). However, according to women sex=intimacy, someone who has sex=a better person overall and not having sex=being useless.

ex_red_black_piller · 2022-01-12T14:02:18+00:00

> Do you have any non-sexual, non-labor reasons to get into a relationship with a woman?

Not really. Only specific men can get casual sex so the rest of us gotta play bf game.

Women generally do no offer anything besides a vagina that's worth making a commitment to. I have looked and high and low, and by far men are more interesting. Too bad, if I was gay things would be 100x simpler.

Rubberrobbb · 2022-01-12T14:29:20+00:00

It involves not being single

tonyghow · 2022-01-12T14:30:18+00:00

Besides intimacy? Agreeable compatibility.

I can get anything non-sexual from friends and family, and Reddit :). Including having debates and being challenged. I don’t want antagonistic interactions with a live-in romantic partner. It’s very tiring. At least with friends you can limit that to manageable doses.

And I love taking care of my own domestic labor. I don’t need that from a partner either. I would even do all the domestic labor in a marriage if the woman was attractive (to me), sensual, and genuinely agreeable. Women don’t seem to understand how much we value those three things.

tropicsGold · 2022-01-12T15:25:11+00:00

These are the things that are irreplaceable, so they are the most critical. I can’t have an intimate monogamous sex life by myself. I can’t get it somewhere else. I can earn money myself. I can have friendships with lots of people. I can hire a maid and I can eat out. Sex is the one critical thing that I need from my wife. Sex is obviously far better if she is attractive. And help around the house is obviously very nice. But sex is critical.

winteradventurer · 2022-01-12T15:52:04+00:00

Conversation, travel partner, someone who cares about you (even if they can't do anything about a problem). Essentially a companion.

As for the previously mentioned things - both men and women care about appearance and I think women have higher standards than men now. Willingness to have sex is not as high as you'd think - sex is a proxy for how much she accepts you/physical intimacy. Domestic labor is definitely preferred but even that is not as necessary as companionship.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2022-01-12T16:06:16+00:00

Yeah I want motherhood.

However, I don't see a good argument for secular men to desire marriage today, and I'm basically unconcerned with secular preferences on having kids, too. If you do want kids, the best way of doing that is marriage. Trying to have your cake and eat it too, where you decide you want kids with a woman who's comfortable coexisting in a harem, is just as delusional (maybe more so) than a feminist who wants to "have it all" in her feminist way.

Wildhouse83 · 2022-01-12T16:40:21+00:00

The answer is no.

DontwantaFairOne · 2022-01-12T17:08:14+00:00

Umm lol our society is based on families since the start.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-01-12T18:17:56+00:00

To counter negative experience one has had with people in the past, by establishing a new pattern of positive experiences. This may sound like one-sided therapy but presumably both partners can do this at the same time.

moosemc · 2022-01-12T20:20:09+00:00

You used up an awful lot of words to say:

Are you men all still bastards?

redpillbob69 · 2022-01-12T20:27:58+00:00

Companionship to share adventures Partner for emotional support, share household duties, and share financial success with. Someone to have a deep intimate connection physically, spiritually, and mentally with Someone who is there when you are sick. Someone who prioritizes thier love and desire for you above most of the people in thier life. Someone who has a balance between agreeable and opinionated.
Someone with control and discipline over thier emotions that can be loyal when nobody is looking.

Now ask me if I trust many women to do these things. Maybe I am too picky? The answer is. I know some. It is not many. Most women I know don't cook much. don't clean much, don't want to walk through the fire and be tempered by a relationship. I know some do.

I can't blame people for choosing the path of least resistance. Seeing things from a limited view.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-01-12T20:36:46+00:00

Even before I got with the wife, I never really went out of my way for a relationship, it was always one of those if it happens it happens types of things

sorathecrow__ · 2022-01-12T21:20:09+00:00

I want a friend and a partner. Want to love and be loved. Want to be attracted to her and she be attracted to me. I want us to mutually want to have sex. I want to go out and do fun things with her, go on weekend trips while we're still young and just do random crap.

Further down the line I'd like someone with similar values that would be willing to help homeschool our kids if we ever had any.

BCmutt · 2022-01-12T21:21:14+00:00

This is such an autistic question to ask. Why do animals want to bond and mate? Hmm, gee, I wonder.

Swordfromthecement · 2022-01-12T21:50:28+00:00

I personally don’t want a relationship but I can see how it would be nice to have a woman that’s your partner in life. She may bring a different perspectives to your life or the pairing might make both of your lives more enjoyable.

cuckspace · 2022-01-12T22:31:18+00:00

Can’t think of any totally non-sexual reasons. Modern women have already ruled out what I used to think relationships would provide, such as someone to stand by me when things get rough, someone to confide in, someone who takes pleasure in doing things I don’t like such as planning social events, buying gifts etc. Modern women consider it all “emotional labor” and want no part in it. So I can’t have a true friend or a confidant, I can’t have a clear division of labor that makes everyday life less messy.

All modern women seem to offer is a buddy/companion who also has sex. A buddy who is almost like a male friend, but more volatile, less trustworthy, more manipulative, emotional, nagging and whiny. Almost like a friendly enemy that I always have to keep my guard up against. But my penis says it would all be worth it. The better part of me is not entirely convinced.

I think it’s better to keep a certain distance, not cohabitate and only enjoy the good parts of a relationship; some fleeting moments of fun when we are on our best behavior, followed by sex. That’s all there is to it for me.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2022-01-12T22:52:18+00:00

If I were to enter into another relationship then her personality is the main driver (assuming looks are good). Her income is definitely high on the list because I'm not floating another broke woman so long as I live.

The mantra that a woman's income doesn't matter is misguided. A woman needs to add more than her p-sleeve to my life. Yes, we'll go out and do lots of fun things. But, not solely out of my wallet. Never again.

downvote_to_feed_me · 2022-01-13T02:25:55+00:00

So I can know that the world isn't a complete shit hole that doesn't deserve a nuclear bomb to blow it to pieces.

DzejSiDi · 2022-01-13T14:16:35+00:00

Do you have any non-sexual, non-labor reasons to get into a relationship with a woman?

Non-sexual intimacy and I want to have a family one day and I unfortunately need a woman for that.

GarbanzoJoe1103 · 2022-01-12T02:32:39+00:00

Sex, domestic labor, social director, schedule manager, and yes be fucking agreeable and pleasant too. Thanks 👍

shru_Kay · 2022-01-12T11:24:09+00:00

A relationship is the next level of growth in life.

You can take care of yourself, you are a contributing member of the society...

You have lead your life well, can you lead someone else through the course of time? Can you be responsible, not only for yourself but for someone else?

You will also be responsible for making decisions for your offspring with this person later.. are you ready to take up that role?

A relationship is the first step towards that stage of life.

That's how I see it.

If you don't want to be serious about these things, it's just a fling.

Maybe, I've read too much into your question, but reading people's comments it seems like most people are like early 20s and teens. Also, I'm not from a western country, so, relationship means serious business to me.

LackOf_Empathy · 2022-01-12T03:02:22+00:00

Having children/Creating a family.

chiriklo · 2022-01-12T04:59:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

richardparadox163 · 2022-01-12T06:37:06+00:00

In addition to what others have mentioned, you seem to be missing the most important one (which says a lot): to have children and start a family

_Oh_Be_Nice_ · 2022-01-12T09:17:20+00:00

"If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."

Aston77 · 2022-01-12T11:15:55+00:00

I'm in a relationship now and I want to be single again. When I was single I wanted to be in a relationship...

techr0nin · 2022-01-12T11:24:29+00:00

Building a family first and foremost. Pair bonding and emotional support secondarily. If I didn’t want kids then I’d probably stick with STRs.

champagnepadre · 2022-01-12T13:44:55+00:00

Being in love is dope.

-CuriousPanda- · 2022-01-12T16:00:38+00:00

Iol, i’m tickled by the endless stupid posts like these. “OMG, men are so disgusting, they want kind, considerate women with practical skills and a strong romantic desire for them.”

Men make stupid comments like this all the time too: “OMG, women want a man who can provide materially, who doesn’t look like a cave troll, who can behave in public like a normal person, and who won’t immediately cheat on the first piece of meat in sight. How entitled!”

Yes, both sides want similar but slightly different things in a partner. Yes if you severely lack those qualities you’ll suffer in the dating market. That’s not the fault of men or women, that’s what the market demands. Become those things or stop complaining.

Title	Q4M: Why do you want a relationship?
Author	deathbecomesme123456
Upvotes	77
Comments	483
Date	January 12, 2022 2:18 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/s1ulvo/q4m_why_do_you_want_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-why-do-you-want-a-relationship.1095760 https://theredarchive.com/post/1095760

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