Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2022-01-26T11:00:14+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]RainbowsAreAmazing [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Spread-Em-PlzAutistic Kinda Pretty Boy [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

PPD women seem to usually claim that men should be upfront regarding their desire for casual sex or hookups. That sincerity would be rewarded. That it is immoral to date women under false pretences.

A counter argument for this, is that men like caleb act like they do because over time they realize that girls who are DTF, clearly want to hookup, will run away if they make it explicit.

Women seem to want to maintain that plausible deniability so that after guys try being straightforward and realize and women don't want to think of themselves as "sluts", they avoid being overly explicit about what they are planning to do.

Sure maybe a few enlighted souls here are ok being totally clear about hooking up and planning sex. But most women don't want to "hang out" knowing that sex is planned. They want to just have it happen. They look back and say "did not expect that to happen". Guys hear this all the time.

So rather than being morally wrong, some might argue it is morally right to maintain that ambiguity. It allows women the space to be comfortable having that hookup without feeling cheap.

[–]-Giga-ThePinkPill.co [score hidden] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

So rather than being morally wrong, some might argue it is morally right to maintain that ambiguity. It allows women the space to be comfortable having that hookup without feeling cheap.

There isn't any excuse for shitty character so why try especially with this weak sauce logic

Plausible deniability for what? A godless country that doesnt give a shit about marriage, normalizes porn and selling ass pixels, with men who dont really stand for anything doesnt have a culture where women need "plausible deniability"

This is a narrative you're creating for yourself because u guys take pleasure in cheating women out of things and you like to feel important

In reality, if she is having sex its bc she wanted to have sex and ur one job is to not talk her out of it

A challenge for many which is so many guys are here being loud and wrong every day

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada [score hidden] 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

K, I'll tell you where my bitterness on this issue comes from.

I got my first long-term relationship within three months of moving to the big city. Not a coincidence. I dated a shit-ton of men in the affluent small town I was living in, but they were all short-term relationships. Small town boys would not consider me for a serious relationship because they were racist, but they were never honest about this, they would lie and misrepresent their intentions. I'm talking writing love poetry, asking me to be their girlfriend, talking about our future together, whatever it took to get into my pants for a month or two. I racked up the majority of my n-count in those two years between losing my virginity and moving to the big metro city. These were not 6'4" model-esque men, they were average guys. Oftentimes short trolls. My first LTR was actually with a higher calibre of man physically than ever asked me out in the small town. I also dated men from different ethnic backgrounds, and what they all had in common was being better-looking and more intellectual than the guys I had dated before I moved. A few of these racist small-town guys later turned out to be lonely incels with years-long dry spells and I think it's funny and that they deserve it.

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Small town boys would not consider me for a serious relationship because they were racist, but they were never honest about this, they would lie and misrepresent their intentions.

If there is one important takeaway from this, it is that it is crucial you talk to the girls in your life. You help prepare these teenagers for what they are going to be facing.

Most girls are ill equipped to deal with dating at 18 or even before that. This whole idea of personal freedom means we let people make mistakes and learn from it. But we should not take it too far and let them make mistakes they can't recover from.

I think friends and family should play a part in who we date when we are young and figuring things out. They need not control us, but we should normalize asking opinions and discussing it so people tell you that the guy is totally full of shit and just looking to take advantage of you.

A few of these racist small-town guys later turned out to be incels and I think it's funny and that they deserve it.

Hurt people hurt people.

[–]CFinCanada [score hidden] 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mysterious_Detail_622 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]DworkinPillUtter Trainwreck [score hidden] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]DworkinPillUtter Trainwreck [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

Ok keep using it as a strategy.

yeah I am listening to all sides. This does not have to get personal. I am no fuckboy haha, my interest in this is mostly academic and curiosity.

I am more sociosexually restricted so I go for more FWB situations than ONS. So I understand where she is coming from and what she expects from me.

I don’t get how men claim that women can accuse them of rape for regret sex at the same time they hold onto the strategy of ambiguity to get sex. Something doesn’t add up.

I think their point is that consent can't be revoked retrospectively. It should not be classified as rape because it is not rape.

If y’all want to claim that’s out of chivalry fine by me.

I don't think all guys are doing this to girls they believe want a relationship. But I don't know. I feel there must be atleast a significant minority of men who are doing it as part of "game" to ensure the mood is maintained. If they knew the girl would be happy if the guy was upfront, they would be happy to be explict and clear too.

I mean I don't see why it has to be explicit, within the context it seems clear that it is a ONS, you meet a stranger, first date they want to have sex... where does this expectation of something more come from? Neither the guy or the girl can't say for sure. It is possible the sex is so great the guy decides to come again.

Anything is possible...

[–]DworkinPillUtter Trainwreck [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DworkinPillUtter Trainwreck [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]badgersonice [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

They actually do want to fuck and have a relationship with the guy they fuck

I am sure this happens. But I am just wondering how many girls are actually open for a hookup but don't want to admit it to themselves.

Like culture shames sluts so that even if the girl is looking to have fun and just sleep around, she wants it to be an accident.

You see girls doing the same thing, again and again. Going to the same places, meeting the same kind of people.

I am sure eventually she starts to grow tired of this whole thing and genuinely want a real connection and committed relationship. But I think TRP guys have something right when they point out these girls initially would feel like the mood is killed if he makes it so obvious, explicit, and "transactional".

I think not being upfront can be moral if the girl seems to be not looking for anything serious. It is scummy and immoral if the girl makes it clear that she is looking for something serious and the guy dangles the idea that maybe he might date her.

These jerks exist and I am not saying that is ok. But just like these jerks exist, I think there are girls who are young and not looking to settle down and want to have fun. These girls are not being duped, they are being told what they want to be heard and it can be ethical to not make your intentions fully explicit. You can communicate your intentions implicitly. Not talk about relationships, or the future or make promises.

[–]badgersonice [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

FYI, I’m using the generic “you” in this response some.

But I am just wondering how many girls are actually open for a hookup but don't want to admit it to themselves.

I can’t speak to that, because I was absolutely not open for a hookup. I would have been hurt if a dude had lied to me to manipulate me into sex by pretending to like me as a person. Just as many men actually do want a relationship and would be hurt if a woman pretended to find him attractive used him as a wallet or even as a fake boyfriend she wouldn’t touch in the bedroom.

But I think TRP guys have something right when they point out these girls initially would feel like the mood is killed if he makes it so obvious, explicit, and "transactional".

For women who are into hookups, you simply have to be charming, not put on all sorts of show that you want a relationship. Red pill actually usually doesn’t advocate the Caleb strategy of love bombing and promising a wonderful relationship and stuff— it’s one of the positives of Red Pill that they teach guys that trying to trick women into sex with beta promises is a loser strategy for ugly beta chumps.

I think not being upfront can be moral if the girl seems to be not looking for anything serious.

I disagree that deliberately acting deceptive to get what you want is moral. I think this strategy is more about plausible deniability for men. If you just tell yourself she probably would want it this way, then you don’t have to feel bad that you deliberately lied and manipulated her. You can tell yourself you’re a still good person, because she’s just a trashy slut who wanted you to lie. The man in this scenario is simply deciding that he knows best for her and assuming what she wants based entirely on what he wants and feels.

On a much more extreme scale, when surveyed, most rapists didn’t think they were rapists either: they told themselves that they were just giving her what she really wanted. It’s obviously not the same severity, but the logic is the same: “it’s not bad because I know she wanted me to X”.

I think there are girls who are young and not looking to settle down and want to have fun

Yeah, but those girls and women aren’t hurt and bitter when a guy ghosts, because they were gonna ghost him as well, regardless of whether he was honest or not. They’re not pissed off he faked a relationship with them because she didn’t want a relationship in the first place either. At most he’d be maybe a random booty call on a boring night.

But also whether she was ok with it or not has nothing to do with whether the guy was being ethical. If lying to get what you want is unethical, then it’s still unethical even if you decide in your own head that she must be the kind of slut who wants you to lie. Morality requires doing what is right even when it is hard or doesn’t get you what you want.

These girls are not being duped, they are being told what they want to be heard and it can be ethical to not make your intentions fully explicit.

Telling people what they want to hear if still lying if you’re not telling them the truth. You don’t have to lay out some kind of life plan you don’t have on a first date, but if you start talking about relationships and love and long term stuff over multiple dates because you know that’s “what she wants to hear” in order to agree to sex, then yeah, you’re a cad.

You can communicate your intentions implicitly. Not talk about relationships, or the future or make promises.

Communication is a two way street. If the woman is communicating that she is interested in a relationship, then pretending to want the same so you can just get sex and dash isn’t ethical. Same as when a woman pretends to want a relationship and sex just to get a free meal.

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

For women who are into hookups, you simply have to be charming

Part of that is making her think she is more than just a causual hookup. Even the girls who are into hookups, not ready for anything serious don't like to be treated as a replacable fleshlight.

So saying she is special and giving her all that love is part of game. Like I know one girl who is young and does not want kids or to marry. She is totally up for hookups but if I asked her crassly and directly my chances are low.

We need to atleast call it "casual dating" so that she does not feel bad. I see this pattern repeat. When I hear about what happened with other girls. For them sex is not just about the act.

We need girls who like to have casual sex and ONS maybe comment.

that they teach guys that trying to trick women into sex with beta promises is a loser strategy for ugly beta chumps.

I am not talking about making false promises of commitment. I am talking about making it explicitly clear that this is a ONS. One is lying the other is lying by omission.

But even that does not necessarily be lying if the context makes it clear that expectation is not there.

They’re not pissed off he faked a relationship with them because she didn’t want a relationship in the first place either. At most he’d be maybe a random booty call on a boring night.

Yes. I am talking about those cases. In those cases, the guy would be shooting himself in the foot if he made it clear this was casual. She will feel offended imo.

If lying to get what you want is unethical

lying does not automatically make an action unethical. What matters is consequences. If by lying by omission both people are happier off then then it is moral. Check the video I linked in the original comment, they talk about this.

but if you start talking about relationships and love and long term stuff over multiple dates because you know that’s “what she wants to hear” in order to agree to sex, then yeah, you’re a cad.

100% agree... I was not thinking of a guy being deceptive but choosing not be explicit. I think there is a difference between lying and lying by omission. Leaving it unsaid because it makes her uncomfortable to face the fact that she is just having sex with a stranger.

the woman is communicating that she is interested in a relationship, then pretending to want the same so you can just get sex and dash isn’t ethical.

I really don't think we disagree.

[–]badgersonice [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Part of that is making her think she is more than just a causual hookup.

No, pretending it’s not really a casual hookup is how you lie about it being a casual hookup. I know lots and lots of men get what they consider causal sex by misleading the woman into thinking it’s more than casual, but it works because it’s deceptive.

All you’re really telling me is that a lot of women who wind up pumped and dumped were misled into thinking he was interested in more. Dishonesty is actually how a lot of dudes get laid, and it’s part of why a lot is women who’ve had multiple sex partners seem disillusioned and bitter. (And others had foolishly high expectations and their hopes were dashed through no fault of the guy’s— that happens too).

The women who really just want a hookup are turned off by guys buying them flowers and talking about how cute their kids will be. Because it really is casual for them. If you have to convince her it’s not casual for her to have sex, it wasn’t casual to her.

I am talking about those cases. In those cases, the guy would be shooting himself in the foot if he made it clear this was casual. She will feel offended imo.

I mean, yeah most women will feel offended if you walk up to her and talk to her like you think she’s a hooker. But you can flirt with someone for casual sex without pretending to be more than a fun night.

I think you’re incorrectly assuming a lot of women who had “casual sex” actually wanted it to be casual and believed it was just a one night stand all along. Most women aren’t actually that interested in casual sex (as statistically, most women don’t have many many causal sex partners, in spite of it being trivially easy for women to get them) particularly with strangers. Even for casual, women are more likely to at least want a friends with benefits situation with just one or two someones they trust… and in those situations, it’s particularly callous to lie to your friend and pretend you want more with them just to convince them to take their pants off.

I was not thinking of a guy being deceptive but choosing not be explicit. I think there is a difference between lying and lying by omission.

Right, I’m not talking about the guys who are deliberately evasive, who say stuff like “let’s just see where this goes” or “I’m open to something more serious with the right girl”. Those are honest statements, and it would actually be dishonest and weird as fuck to say “I’ll probably want to marry you” on a first date. Ambiguity is normal in dating: part of the point of dating is to suss out what the other person wants and see if it aligns with what you want.

But there’s also this negative grey area, where the dude presents himself clearly as interested boyfriend material, buys her gifts, takes her to interesting dates, talks about their possible future together, and acts all around like he wants something more serious… in that case, it reads as deceptive to me. He knows what he’s doing: he’s presenting himself as a boyfriend, while not having any intention of considering it.

That strikes me as deceptive. It’s one thing if a guy goes in in boyfriend mode with a girl and doesn’t see it working out… but if he does this with dozens of women, what he’s after is casual sex, but doesn’t want to take “no” for an answer from women who are shopping for a boyfriend. So he sells them an intentionally false ideal of himself.

Yeah, women should protect themselves from sleezeballs who fake being in love to get laid, but I think it’s incredibly toxic for women to cynically go into every date assuming a guy being romantic and acting like he wants her for more than a quick fuck is probably just a cad trying to pry her pants off with lies.

Dudes like this fuck up the market for everyone. And yeah, plenty of women get their hopes way too high on a guy based on something trivial like the fact that he was nice or remembered her name or something, but that’s not the kind of “plausible deniability” you were talking about either.

It just seems like most women who are actually into hookups and casual sex are low inhibition, low-neuroticism types: the exact kind of women not likely to care about being called a mean name. The kind of women who actually worry about being called a slut for fucking a casual are likely also the type of women who are higher-inhibition and worry even more about having casual sex in the first place.

[–]MisterJose [score hidden] 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]-Giga-ThePinkPill.co [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

See, to their mind, only horrible humans care about such things, so they're just trying to lead you down the path of being a more moral person

Not wanting to be touched by a user is a disingenuous mark of "morality" now?

Ok I can be fake deep too. Let me put some makeup on so we can look alike.

🤡

k guys I agree with MisterJose here; high IQ tbh.

It's perfectly reasonable to lie to a man about your intentions and rob him blind. If you tell him you have no interest in his mediocrity that does nothing for you and only wanna run his pockets, he won't give you his money. In his utopia, his dick is the biggest, he is most interesting, and you exist to pleasure him 🥰 He just needs the plausible deniability!

Never mind that he was raised to believe his very value comes down to the money he makes. Take every last dollar and give him nothing of value. Its your god given right as the only being that matters on this planet!

🥰 #ThePinkPill

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

I think I undestand what "enjoy the decline means" better now.

The world is going to shit, hook up culture, promiscuity, porn sick men, radical political opinions go mainstream, selfishness, etc you get the gist. That is the decline.

Enjoy does not mean grin and watch as it happens and believe that the world deserves it. I used to think it was some sadistic pleasure TRP got from watching the world burn. But I think enjoy here means - "have your fill" or "if you can't beat them, join them". Basically it is advocating you go and participate in hookup culture, you become that guy with options, you refuse to commit because no one worth commiting to exists.

This enjoy is one of hedonism and the pursuit of pleasure within the framework they despise. They play by rules they dislike but they plan to enjoy anyway.

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[Academic] Do you CLASH with your partner? (18+, must be in current relationship with partner who is also willing to participate)
Do you CLASH with your partner?
Couples are needed for the Couple CLASH study!
Researchers from Deakin University in Australia are seeking to track couples over time to identify what combination of factors cause some couples to clash and others to thrive. Couple CLASH is a study dealing with issues around Conflict, Love, Attitudes, Stress and Hardships (CLASH).
Couples who choose to participate will complete 5 surveys over a 12-month period. Each survey is expected to take approximately 40 minutes. You and your partner will be asked about your experiences in relationships, current life stress, substance use, pornography use, attitudes, and aspects of your personalities.
Participate with your partner and share a total of 3.5 hours of your time over 12-months and at the completion of the entire study, couples will receive:
free access to an internationally acclaimed online couples therapy program
expert tips for enriching your relationship, and
a $60AUD gift voucher (per couple)
Participants who are currently living in Australia are also invited to take part in a video-recorded discussion task at the start and the end of the study. This is an optional activity and you will receive an additional $40AUD gift voucher (per couple) if you choose to take part in the video-recorded discussion tasks. Please see our website for more information.
Whether you are only completing the surveys or you are living in Australia and choose to also take part in the discussion tasks, you and your partner must both be willing and able to participate, over the age of 18, fluent in English, and not currently subject to criminal proceedings.
Head to scienceofadultrelationships.org/couple-clash to find out more or take our screening questionnaire to find out if you’re eligible to take part!
Screening questionnaire: https://researchsurveys.deakin.edu.au/jfe/form/SV\_b70d9f4gIsCrjMi

[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]jax006MGTowing my boat to the lake [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]relaxandrule31Pill Valentine [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]chilikettlechipsWryYyY [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Bandit174🦝 [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

That it's frustrating to see how wages haven't kept pace with inflation & housing prices, that companies tend to have more leverage to make demands than the employees do. That companies often expect more than they will give like expecting 2 weeks notice but not doing the same when letting employees go. Like I remember when I first got my full time offer, the week before they just layed a bunch of people off with no notice, people who had been with the company for a while. It worked out for me because it reduced the "headcount" but it was still brutal in a way.

Luckily I haven't had any stereotypical bad bosses nor do I have to work rediculous hours but I can sympathize that others do and feel like more power to them if they tell their bosses to fuck off and quit without giving notice. I'd welcome seeing employees start to have more power in the market even though I don't see it being likely to happen.

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[–]ChaddamhuseinPost body before calling me an incel [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SexySecretsSD [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]jax006MGTowing my boat to the lake [score hidden] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]jax006MGTowing my boat to the lake [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlDairy Queen [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]relaxandrule31Pill Valentine [score hidden] 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 [score hidden] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy [score hidden] 4 years ago* (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" [score hidden] 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LetsDelveIntoIt1Purple Pill Woman [score hidden] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]LetsDelveIntoIt1Purple Pill Woman [score hidden] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim [score hidden] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim [score hidden] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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I don't know what you're talking about, these things happen all the time. Just today I called out of work because my cat's sister-in-law's best friend's mom died and I needed to provide emotional support. My boss, Karen, said "This is the twenty seventh day in a row you've called out of work due to your pet's personal trauma. Come in today or you're fired." I gently explained that my cat suffers from anxiety, depression, ADHD, gender dysphoria, species dysphoria, fibromyalgia, PTSD and night blindness (none of which I can get her treatment for because my employer's health insurance is speciesist and doesn't consider cats family) and that I am her emotional support human. Karen said, "I don't care, your cat means nothing to me and I hope it gets eaten by a bald eagle. Be at work in half an hour or I'm going to have you executed by firing squad." So I went to work (since I had no choice, due to coercion) and now my cat is listening to mid 2000s emo and slitting her wrists in the bathroom. Just another day in late capitalism.

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Yes. The video's well worth the watch. Top-notch cringe comedy, feels like a skit or sketch. And now /r/antiwork's private, having taken their football and gone home.

The mod, Doreen, is a 30-year-old autistic non-binary dog-walker with vague ambitions of being a philosophy professor, who claimed in the video to work 20-25 hours a week (which Redditors followed-up to say was a lie, that the mod commented previously he/she works about 10 hours a week). Doreen could had really used the Jordan Peterson meme advice to clean your room.

Select comments from the YouTube video:

“This guy is literally what people imagine when you mention reddit mods.”
“This is the type of guy who gets to determine what ‘misinformation’ is on Reddit”
“This is basically every mod on reddit. Everytime you get censored on a sub, picture this.”
“If this was the mod that felt comfortable with a televised appearance, just imagine what the other ones look like.”
“Transcrip[t] from [Doreen] on reddit: ‘The interview offer was given to the mods via mod mail and they specifically asked for me. I shared that with other mods and they all agreed that i was probably the best to do it because i'have done other media.’ When reddit sends their mods... THEY ARE SENDING THEIR BEST!”
“This guy will probably go down the Chris Chan path...”

Some other amusing comments from /r/stupidpol:

"People are acting like 'he got setup' when they asked him just the most generic softball fundamental questions and he could [barely] answer"
"The setup was just perfect. Unmade bed. Crap all over the table. Even the curtains are a fucking mess."
"I want to say that a show producer went and specifically built this set or put it on a green screen behind this person because it really is perfect for the Fox News host. But it's also not surprising that a Reddit Jannie that'd agree to go on Fox News is already completely lacking in self awareness and gave them the perfect set up on their own."

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A common diagnosis for men failing in the dating world is excessive consumption of porn, gaming, and drugs.

The majority of the population indulges in those three activities so I am curious how much is too much?

Let's look at a typical day for a hypothetical giy who works 40 hours a week in a career that he is advancing in:

1 hour getting ready and out the door
8 hours of work
2 hours exercise
3 hours of gaming if he has no plans, or socializing if he does
1-2 hours for errands/dinner
30 min jerking off
8 hours sleep

On weekends this guy drinks with his friends watching sports, smokes pot, watches Netflix, etc. During the week he might smoke pot after work if he does not have plans, call it 3x a week.

How close is this to what users have in mind when they say a guy uses too much pot/gaming/porn?

Edit: reduced length of jerk session

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Let’s say we have two identical Chads as far as how they look.

One Chad was able to have sex with Stacy “fast” and the other was not.

Let’s identify what could have led to that:

Perhaps the vibe of the surroundings for Chad A were more arousing? They met at a houseparty or fun vibey bar/lounge or festival or club or something of the sort where the energy is fun and conducive to lower-inhib interaction.
Perhaps when Stacey went out with Chad A she was ovulating. Or maybe hadn’t had sex in ~6 months and was super horny. Or maybe she was simply really frustrated with life stressors and in the mood to feel good and be touched sensually. Who knows. All of these factors are independent of Chad A. He didn’t have to arouse her. She was already in that space. He just had to show up. Very opportune for him.
Perhaps Chad A was genuinely more arousing and had better game. He was behaviorally sexier than Chad B. But that’s not to say if Chad B hadn’t acted in the same way, he wouldn’t have gotten the same result. He just didn’t. And that’s on him for not being sexy and arousing and titillating to her. She doesn’t owe him sex. She needs to feel horny for sex. Get better game Brandon.

There are a host of reasons that aren’t default “he’s physically unattractive.”

It seems when men make this argument about “consistency” they think the world is operating in an “all else equal” “only factors that I’ve considered matter” sort of way.

[–]Mark_Freed6 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

A person isn’t more sexually attractive just by virtue of his looks. His ability to create that “vibe”, move slowly in for that kiss, talk in that deep voice, say the right things, having game is all part of his package. It’s what makes him attractive.

When Dyson said he felt like she wasn’t attracted to him as much as she was to that other guy, he is right. But it doesn’t have to be only due to his physical appearance, his game might be worse off than that guy, but that’s his game and he has the right to move on and find a girl who doesn’t value his game and looks. He does not want his LTR partner to settle for him in this one dept.

But yeah the other contextual reasons are very important and I’ll give you that. After a breakup, periods, low self esteem. Lots of external factors can influence how fast she decides to fuck a guy, so often the guy is just lucky to be in the right place in the right time.

But it doesn’t help when this is an emotional response so I guess in some ways just like men don’t broadcast watching porn it might be best to not discuss previous sexual relationships in detail, it is only gonna hurt.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

A person isn’t more sexually attractive just by virtue of his looks.

Oh, I agree! I’m so happy a man said this. Black Pillers have made this truth a controversial statement.

His ability to create that “vibe”, move slowly in for that kiss, talk in that deep voice, say the right things, having game is all part of his package. It’s what makes him attractive.

Yep. I added my examples in for posterity so it was clear for whomever reading. I can see you get that.

But yeah the other contextual reasons are very important and I’ll give you that. After a breakup, periods, low self esteem. Lots of external factors can influence how fast he decides to fuck a guy, so often the guy is just lucky to be in the right place in the right time.

Yep.

But it doesn’t help when this is an emotional response

It is. It’s on men to deal with that.

so I guess in some ways just like men don’t broadcast watching porn it might be best to not discuss previous sexual relationships in detail, it is only gonna hurt.

I agree.

[–]Mark_Freed4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Hmm nah I wouldn’t agree it’s on men to deal with that. This is a joint partnership. Both genders need to work together to find something that works. No option is off the table.

I wouldn’t say men can watch porn and women have to deal with that, I’m totally up for the idea that maybe we should shame porn use.

Similarly I’m not saying the freedom for both genders to be promiscuous is a given, I think we should consider seriously how much we should shame promiscuity, that’s a possible solution that’s not off the table imo.

Part of how the men who are affected by this deal with it is by deciding not to have LTRs at all, so men going mgtow is not a good solution so telling men this is what’s gonna happen, you deal with it is not likely to end well.

In many such topics both genders have a tendency to play hardball and say, my way or the highway. In all these cases I notice this pattern of people unwilling to give up personal freedoms because they want to keep making hedonistic choices. To a degree social constraints is good to regulate individual choice.

To save us from ourselves.

—-

Interestingly I think this hits at the core of many issues between red and blue pill, men and women. I think this is worth a post in of itself but the idea is how men form these boundaries around concepts. They have boxes and they see it as “I am a rich guy who offers wealth, I offer commitment, I offer my looks, my game, etc” then they wonder what part of this collection is the reason she likes him. They try to see the world like a man would. While for women these boundaries are way more fluid, they don’t love him for just his looks, game, wealth or commitment, her love is for him as a while with all these things mixed together.

Men find it hard to conceptualise this, how women thing. How they treat every man as a unique person, impossible to really compare that easily with the ex. The benefit of these boundaries for men is that they can break a person into these traits which can then be compared. Of course this is just a general rule, I’m sure there are women who are great at thinking in categories, maybe women on the spectrum? Autistic women.

Also one other cause for misunderstanding is that men tend to take decisions based on internal values and mental states. They have walls up, they are not really connected to the context. They observe, evaluate, reason and decide. Their decision making is more system 2, let’s say they take ownership of their decision. It reflects who they are, their identity.

Women seem to be in touch with the context, the environment, they rely on externalities a lot to keep them grounded. The vibe, energy of the room, of people, they pick up on implicit cues, they externalise things like their periods, (it’s not them, or part of their identity) they are more affected (hmm ok not more affected) rather they allow these things like getting dumped, or getting into a fight to act through them. Women are a conduit. Men try to bottle it up and not react. Women are way more reactive.

So it’s true in a sense when women refuse to take ownership of her past actions and try to say it was not “her”, it was circumstances why she behaved a certain way. But men struggle to understand this because that is not the world they inhabit.

Also for all intents and purposes, given a context, how you behave matters. It’s not like there is only one way to react to a circumstance. You can’t remove yourself from that equation. Your attitude matters, how you respond to your periods, being dumped, low self esteem, all reflects on who you are because it predicts how you will behave in the future in similar contexts. So I’m with the men on this.

[–]GridReXX2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]GridReXX2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You added an essay’s worth of commentary after the line break. Let me review that and then respond again lol. But I think I like what you’re laying down there.

--

edit

/u/Mark_Freed replying now.

Interestingly I think this hits at the core of many issues between red and blue pill, men and women.

Unrelated, but sometimes I feel men of the manosphere (not you) conflate "female user explaining female cognition" with "blue pill."

Men find it hard to conceptualise this, how women thing. How they treat every man as a unique person, impossible to really compare that easily with the ex. The benefit of these boundaries for men is that they can break a person into these traits which can then be compared. Of course this is just a general rule, I’m sure there are women who are great at thinking in categories, maybe women on the spectrum? Autistic women.

I guess it's my "femaleness," but when it comes to interpersonal relations and processing inter-relational dynamics, I don't think it's possible or even useful to precisely categorize.

It's like trying to force-fit a linear regression onto something that's best processed per a more sophisticated multivariate neural network model.

I get why men do it. One, their cognition is more suited to thinking in that way and two, it makes strategizing about attracting women simpler.

Also one other cause for misunderstanding is that men tend to take decisions based on internal values and mental states. They have walls up, they are not really connected to the context.

Sure.

They observe, evaluate, reason and decide.

I guess IME, I can't say women don't do the same.

Their decision making is more let’s say they take ownership of the decision. It reflects who they are, their identity.

Perhaps. This could be "honor" and "ego" related. I noticed men tend to do this when they succeed as well. "I did this all by myself." Where is women are more willing to acknowledge the influences, exposure, and aid they received along the way that led where they are.

Back to your "identity" commentary. I think for men it detracts from their identity to give credence or acknowledge those things.

Women are way more reactive.

Hm. Explain this. Not sure I agree yet.

So it’s true in a sense when women refuse to take ownership of her past actions and try to say it was not “her”, it was circumstances why she behaved a certain way. But men struggle to understand this because that is not the world they inhabit.

That's a male lens. Every woman I know owns their actions. What they do do is explain how A led to B led to C led to D. Not as an "excuse" per se, but of how the events unfurled.

For example, women tend to feel as though "it just happend" when they hook up with someone.

For MOST me that's inconceivable because 1) they are actively trying to fuck so that's their main goal for the interaction and 2) they are usually the ones who have to seduce so it's no "it just happened." He had to make it happen.

For women, when I go to the houseparty with friends, my goal is not "to fuck." In fact sex is not even on my mind. But if while at the party I'm interacting with someone while tipsy and am slowly being turned on into a sexual state of mind, it does feel more like "wow how did I get in this state" more than it would for men.

Does that make sense?

Also for all intents and purposes, given a context, how you behave matters. It’s not like there is only one way to react to a circumstance. You can’t remove yourself from that equation. Your attitude matters, how you respond to your periods, being dumped, low self esteem, all reflects on who you are because it predicts how you will behave in the future in similar contexts. So I’m with the men on this.

Of course, everything one does "reflects on them" depending on the criteria of the one doing the judging.

Back to the OP, men prefer no "n" or close to no "n" when it comes to a woman he's wanting as a wife. His criteria is going to be stricter here than it is when it comes to a woman judging a man for an LTR or a man judging a potential male LTR or a woman judging a potential female LTR.

[–]Mark_Freed2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

oh it was tangential to the central point. I don't think I can put the point about how the issue with n count is not something men have to deal with better. Maybe in a few years I will be able to convey my ideas on that.

I think you are bringing in god without reason. Social norms don't need to be founded on anything divine. We can have mores that are practial and useful without needing to pray to god or give up atheism.

But yeah it is a hard topic and I am kinda in over my depth here. I usually stretch myself when debating but these are topics I have not seriously fleshed out so I have trouble articulating my position.

Most of these topics keep hitting the issue of free will, exactly where do we decide to ask the individual to handle his own emotions and where do we decide society or others have a duty to help him.

We have this idea of safe spaces, we decided that a lot of people can't handle ideas, so we protect them. We expect people to put trigger warnings - all that are examples of us offloading the responsibility of regulating emotions to others and lessening the burden on the individual.

Your claim that men should handle it is hard for me to tackle because as a man I am biased. So I need to spend time carefully trying to decide exactly what the best course of action here is, selfishly the answer is clear but for the sake for a win win solutions everyone, both genders and both the individual and society need to make compromises.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

oh it was tangential to the central point. I don't think I can put the point about how the issue with n count is not something men have to deal with better. Maybe in a few years I will be able to convey my ideas on that.

I replied to it. I edited my comment above.

I think you are bringing in god without reason.

I have a reason. And it's practicality. It's not about "God." It's about recognizing that religion provided a framework and something "greater than oneself” or “greater than the human experience" to aspire toward. That truly alters decision-making in an organic way. And sorry to be crude, but "aww man he wants my young virgin c*nt, I better orient my life toward that dude!" doesn’t quite work. That grosses women out. It doesn't endear her. But "getting into heaven." Or "doing right by God" does.

Same with discouraging men from porn, if that’s what you want to do. Going to need something greater than “eww you’re gross man” from women to convince men to abstain.

Social norms don't need to be founded on anything divine. We can have mores that are practial and useful without needing to pray to god or give up atheism.

That's a nice desire, especially if you're particularly atheist or anti-organized religion. But explain to me how you plan to do that?

Incentive is needed.

Again, women dedicating her life to one man sexually whom she doesn't even know or desire isn't an incentive for her. It's male wishful thinking.

But yeah it is a hard topic and I am kinda in over my depth here. I usually stretch myself when debating but these are topics I have not seriously fleshed out so I have trouble articulating my position.

That's fair.

Your claim that men should handle it is hard for me to tackle because as a man I am biased. So I need to spend time carefully trying to decide exactly what the best course of action here is, selfishly the answer is clear but for the sake for a win win solutions everyone, both genders and both the individual and society need to make compromises.

Sure. I'm asking what do you suggest?

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And sorry to be crude, but "aww man he wants my young virgin c*nt, I better orient my life toward that dude!" That grosses women out. It doesn't endear her. But "getting into heaven." Or "doing right by God" does.

hmm fair enough. I guess I understand why you brought in god now.

I was not thinking of being direct about the need. We could just use ideas of "what a good wife" should be. What a good women should be like. We can have incentives in place without bringing in heaven.

For most humans the truth is not a beautiful enough narrative to motivate their actions. So we need a lie, that lie need not be god, it just needs to be a good story.

For the sake of the nation, for the sake of the community. This is what will get you respect from your peers and parents.

Slut shaming worked and still works in the absence of god, it provides plenty of incentive to women, so much so that they lie.

I'm asking what do you suggest?

This is not my final stance. But from what I understand of the problem. We should allow communities to emerge where they have their own norms. We trade and travel but we stop trying to enforce our norms on everyone else.

So a state or country could go the polygamy route. I am thinking polyamory might work. It has not really been tried out for a long enough time. These things take time to iron out the problems. We can afford to spend a few generations and few thousand people in experimental townships living like that.

There we promote compersion, we try to see if we can socialize out jealosy. Sexual relations are not to be protected. Its value does not come from scarcity. Free love.

Ok so that is one, we also need to stop the decay of traditional values. We need atleast a few communities practicing the old way. See storing these ideas in books and movies is not enough. If our experiments fail, it is not so easy to just "go back" to the old ways that work for sure. We opened the pandora's box... once people stop believing in god, we can't convince them start believing again.

This is why we need a backup, we need to ensure there are people who do things completely old school - religion, patriarchy, whatever. The focus here is on survival, given enough time we will figure out better ways but if we put all our eggs in one basket and that fails, then we don't get a chance to redo.

So we could have such social structures and see what works. But it is hard to adopt norms consciously. usually you can nudge existing ones over a period of time but most just emerge.

My personal fav would be restrict porn and social media to a large degree. Access to the world's hottest girls is not helping me, it just makes me unhappy with what I can get. Girls should also not be getting validation from online strangers who don't care. They should work for it from irl people. Hopefully this means most of us get to date in school, we stop acting like sex is such a big deal and become chilled out about it.

I don't think casual sex is good. It is like junk good, empty pleasure. Sex should be in the context of a relationship. We should try to more sociosexually restricted people. Right now with this feedback loop of masturbating to videos of strangers, casual sex with strangers we are training our minds to disassociate sex and emotion. Making sex less fulfilling and we are all miserable.

It takes time to build emotional intimacy, if we all treated sex with the seriousness it deserved then by the time you find someone compatible for an LTR you can't have racked up these kinds of disgusting numbers. Men should deal with low n counts that a women has due to legitimately trying to find the one to settle down with.

Men lose out on diversity of sexual experience here but even that is empty pleasure, here I think until we develop artificial wombs, genetic enginnering to make everyone beautiful, etc. We need to focus on the child's well being. Broken homes are not good. We need to bring back a partial stigma for divorce when there are kids involved. Parents should have incentive to be careful and have kids if they feel sure and try their best to make things work in good faith. So there should be loss of status and reputation.

Yeah I think this stuff might help.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I was not thinking of being direct about the need. We could just use ideas of "what a good wife" should be. What a good women should be like. We can have incentives in place without bringing in heaven.

"Being a good wife by saving my vagina" doesn't compute.

Again, it grosses women out.

Religion answered the "why" by saying it was for a greater entity. Not for his sexual lust or for his ego.

There is a "method to the madness."

The "good story" you're talking about is understanding male and female and human psychology. And making the individual feel good about why they're doing what they're doing.

Slut shaming worked and still works in the absence of god, it provides plenty of incentive to women, so much so that they lie.

It ony works if there are consequencs. So far, there really aren't any. Mostly because men don't want to discourage all women into being "wait for marriage" types.

Like I said earlier. We need participation from men for this to work. Maybe when the AFC and incel community becomes the ~65%, we'll see some change as far as men behaving in solidarity on this front.

Girls should also not be getting validation from online strangers who don't care. They should work for it from irl people. Hopefully this means most of us get to date in school, we stop acting like sex is such a big deal and become chilled out about it.

Maybe? I was in HS before social media was a thing. I will say it seemed as though even the nerds, freaks, and geeks had gfs. But the most shy and socially awkward dudes still didn't.

Anyway, I agree that we need some participation from men here for any of this to work. So far I don't see that happening en masse.

It may happen in about 15 years when loads and loads of men realize that women would truly choose to be single over cohabitate or reproduce with someone she doesn't enjoy romantically.

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Maybe when the AFC and incel community becomes the ~65%, we'll see some change as far as men behaving in solidarity on this front.

What is AFC?

It may happen in about 15 years when loads and loads of men realize that women would truly choose to be single over cohabitate or reproduce with someone she doesn't enjoy romantically.

Maybe... but I think it is very likely both genders go their own ways. With the trends I see, a lot of my single friends are not really worried about not having a girl friend. They have to work hard at career, they have tons of other hobbies, porn takes care of sexual urges.

Testosterone is falling, obesity is rising further dampening libido. Women are naturally more sexually fluid and bisexuality is rising so a lot of women will choose to date other women.

We have sperm banks and women with baby fever can have kids. Honestly its a matter of who can care less. Already in my particular local market it is the men who have the advantage. If you are ok looking, smart, well educated, rich, centre or centre left values, there are lots of girls aiming for you. Below that the men are struggling with too few women willing to look at them.

Even if people are unhappy with things, the response will likely be in the form of violence, suicide, anger and hate. It is going to be interesting to watch what happens.

Sex dolls, AI chat bots, VR porn will help guys stand their ground. Women will have careers, test tube babies, adoption, cats, female friends, sexual fluidity on thier side.

I don't know how easy it is for women to date other women, I have heard it can be hard on the butch. I think more women crave emotional intimacy while men are more hardened to it. While I hear people in FDS say women have support structures and great friends. I have seen male friendships to be way stronger than female friends.

I know like 5 guys who will have my back, whenever I call them. Just a few hours back a friend asked me for 1.5 grand. They call about their issues, work pressure, family issues. While the female friends I know get catty with other girls. There is so much drama.

This is why I said in a different comment that after TRP or BP goes mainstream, men will checkout faster than women so it is likely pick me culture will rise. When women had the upper hand simp culture was promoted due to all the feminine men.

Who knows, all this is hypothetical lol. In practice there would be revolts if men are asked to give up porn. Things seem to be too far gone. Things have to get far far worse before they get better.

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Explain this. Not sure I agree yet.

Unlike men who are expected to always be masculine, when engaging with strangers, the world at large. Women are more free to be their true selves. This involuntary femininity is reactive and can involving giggling, smiling, averting eyes and feeling the tingles.

Men carry a burden of performance that hardens them. Women are more prone to crying and expressing emotions freely.

You might have heard men say they fear that being overly vulnerable, showing pain, frustration, inadequacy, helplessness, fear, loneliness, depression, sadness, jealousy, insecurity, can make it hard for women to respect and love men right?

Women don’t like it if the emotions expressed are reactive and not in control. But it’s sexy if the guy is confidently expressing his love and affection, desire to protect, etc.

So being reactive is exactly letting your context speak through you, you are spontanous, you let system 1 take decisions intuitively. While "masculine" men are expected to be in control, they don't buckle, get rattled, falter, get upset, be reactive, offended, doubt yourself, lose composure, show weakness, justify, give explanations.

You might have seen some people rush to react, they can't handle the pressure.

I talked about system 1 before - it is rapid, automatic processing that is often reactive, intuitive, and unconscious, picking up patterns before an individual may be consciously aware of them and motivating behavior change through feelings and autonomic responses.

Does that make sense?

It kinda does intellectually... but it is hard to emotionally relate. Like you said, "Every woman I know owns their actions", so it is hard for me to accept that "it just happened" since she could have stopped it at any point in time. Things had to play out precisely so that she stayed in the mood. Guys with game earned that, it is not easy to set it up. So both people are agreeing to this happen, these is consent being given here implicitly, both the man and women have to take ownership of what happened.

But like I explained above, I understand why it might feel like that to her. But I don't think feelings are a trustworthy measure of reality. When judging a person's actions, when respecting them, punishing them, evaluating them. What matters are consequences and future predictive value. 1) what was the effect of that action - did she catch an STD, did her brain get used to oxytocin harming her ability to pair bond, did she develop trust issues, etc and 2) in the future is the kind of person who will act in a similar way, is she sociosexually unrestricted? how easily will she give in to her impulses.

So it does not matter how she feels about the action she took, but 1 and 2 above matter. I have talked to girls in depth about how this feels so I know it does not feel like she is in control. In fact that is part of the fantasy, girls like a guy who can confidently take control and put her at ease, show her that he is in charge and will take care of her needs.

But then it just feels like girls want to have the cake and eat it. The whole idea of consent means she is an active participant here, she can keep the illusion that the other guy is in control and this whole thing can be a roleplay thing or she has to admit she did not really give consent.

men prefer no "n" or close to no "n" when it comes to a woman he's wanting as a wife. His criteria is going to be stricter here than it is when it comes to a woman judging a man for an LTR or a man judging a potential male LTR or a woman judging a potential female LTR.

I know what I feel like, I talked to guys and some blue pill guys genuinely seem to say they don't care. On one respect, the more partners you have the less likely you are to feel FOMO after you enter a LTR. Some people might wonder what they are missing out on. If you have your "fun" with casual sex, you will realize it ain't all that fun. In the moment, both parties have fun and it is win win for them. Any guy who is able to get it, will be fighting against slut shaming hard.

People do change and you are marrying who she is now and who she will be. I think when a guy crushes on a girl hard, it is possible he overlooks this stuff too. Love goggles can be thick. So nothing is that cut and dried.

I wonder how n count works in gay and lesbian relationships.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Unlike men who are expected to always be masculine, when engaging with strangers, the world at large. Women are more free to be their true selves. This involuntary femininity is reactive and can involving giggling, smiling, averting eyes and feeling the tingles.

Men carry a burden of performance that hardens them. Women are more prone to crying and expressing emotions freely.

You might have heard men say they fear that being overly vulnerable, showing pain, frustration, inadequacy, helplessness, fear, loneliness, depression, sadness, jealousy, insecurity, can make it hard for women to respect and love men right?

Oh, that's interesting. I find that men are extremely reactive. They're just not as expressive in their emotions outside of anger and hobby-related esctasy.

That's why I didn't compute. You were simply talking about someone's willingness to cry.

Growing up with all women except my dad, I've never seen "punched holes in the wall." Going to friends' houses with brothers whose parents don't know how to enforce common-sense non-destructiveness... it was very common.

I've seen male bosses flip tables and slam doors.

Not sure I'm with ya on the "women are reactive, men aren't" take in a general sense.

It kinda does intellectually... but it is hard to emotionally relate. Like you said, "Every woman I know owns their actions", so it is hard for me to accept that "it just happened" since she could have stopped it at any point in time.

It didn't "just happen." She can "intellectually" say to herself, I will not go out and party around any attractive people. Then she knows there will be no sequence of events that could potentially arouse her.

Again, I was explaining why men can't relate to anything "happening" like that because unless they're Chris Brown or Leo Dicaprio or the Leo or Chris of their network where women are literally throwing themselves thirstily like how men behave around women, it's inconceivable for them.

But like I explained above, I understand why it might feel like that to her. But I don't think feelings are a trustworthy measure of reality. When judging a person's actions, when respecting them, punishing them, evaluating them. What matters are consequences and future predictive value. 1) what was the effect of that action - did she catch an STD, did her brain get used to oxytocin harming her ability to pair bond, did she develop trust issues, etc and 2) in the future is the kind of person who will act in a similar way, is she sociosexually unrestricted? how easily will she give in to her impulses.

This feels a bit dishonest? Let's say she was very cautious, has no STDs, and has never cheated or desired to cheat.

Based on what you already said upthread, the issue is that she had sex with other men and it affects a man's ego or desire for idk a Madonna.

So it does not matter how she feels about the action she took, but 1 and 2 above matter. I have talked to girls in depth about how this feels so I know it does not feel like she is in control. In fact that is part of the fantasy, girls like a guy who can confidently take control and put her at ease, show her that he is in charge and will take care of her needs.

But then it just feels like girls want to have the cake and eat it. The whole idea of consent means she is an active participant here, she can keep the illusion that the other guy is in control and this whole thing can be a roleplay thing or she has to admit she did not really give consent.

Huh? I think this a bit beside the point. If I happily fuck a dude after the club of my own volition, I do not think I did not have consent because he was seductive.

I wonder how n count works in gay and lesbian relationships.

I'm in a relationship with a woman. I've dated only men up to this point. I have countless gay male friendships that I've had since childhood.

"n count" is only a thing men who date women care about.

The concept of "wanting a virgin" is a straight male thing.

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

the issue is that she had sex with other men and it affects a man's ego or desire for idk a Madonna.

I mean that is part of the issue. Nothing is so simple with a single cause. When she takes a decision, it comes with a risk. She might have gotten lucky, but a pattern of such behaviour shows how must risk she is willing to take for the sake of pleasure.

Even with condoms you can catch many STDs. Fifty percent to 80 percent of U.S. adults have oral herpes. Even a properly used condom can fail.

The reason why men have an issue is not just the emotional discomfort due to comparison, biology, paternal uncertainity, it is also a reflection of her character.

There is a huge list of reasons and we might be only touching upon a few of these. If I was dating someone who had hobbies which might get her killed I would be worried. Similarly a person who puts themselves in a situation where they know they will be tempted is not smart. I don't buy junk food and stock it in my cupboard because I know I will eat it. I can't control myself.

The cheating issues has tons of research linking it to previous partners. I linked that in the studies post.

If I happily fuck a dude after the club of my own volition, I do not think I did not have consent because he was seductive.

Yeah great, so you did consent, so it was in your control. You did choose to have it happen. When you say "it just happened to me", that does not sound like something you chose for yourself. If I was robbed I would decribe it as it happening to me. The language used indicates a lack of control over the direction and end result. A lack of control is opposite of consent.

The concept of "wanting a virgin" is a straight male thing.

Not just in PPD? even men irl?

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Sure in that case I guess I understand why you said that, but your method is not what I think most girls adopt. Almost all guys say they are open to a relationship if they feel like they are “compatible”.

Girls rarely hear direct requests for casual sex. So now among these men all of whom seem to be ready for a potential relationship girls manage to hold back and not have sex the longest for men they are the least attracted to sexually while the most attractive men get sex first.

Even you, if you had dated a few men all of whom said they wanted relationships. I bet you wouldn’t set a standard timeline for when you have sex. You’d hang out with them, go on dates, after a few weeks depending on the “vibe”, if you are the mood and feel comfortable then you have sex. This vibe is basically a result of how sexually attracted you are to him, his game, looks, your compatibility.

Or surprise me. Do you disagree that among all the guys who claimed to want a relationship, the faster you had sex, the more sexually attracted you were to them.

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Whether I do or don't is meaningless in the context of this discussion.

The point is that this 'strategy' women employ is illogical and ineffective. They 'claim' they want men to commit and not use them; but then employ illogical strategies that will not get them what they so desire. Pointing out that said strategies are dumb and/or useless garners predictable nonsensical responses.

It's like if my buddy says he wants to lose weight. Then goes to the store and buys nothing but soft drinks and candy. Something just doesn't add up. And if I point that out and his response is 'but you just want to see me get fat and die', I'd start to question his sanity as well.

But here we are. Women claiming they want quality men to commit and not 'pump'n'dump', and then fucking the 'so called' losers while turning a cold shoulder to the 'so called' quality men. It leaves me baffled that I have to point out the obvious insanity of this strategy...

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Don’t get me wrong, I see what you’re driving at, but I think there are a few things to consider here. I’ll note two.

First, one thing to consider is the availability of these age gap statistics and if the man in question knows about them. If not, they can’t possibly inform his decisions. At that point he’s only running on “young women hot” instincts. One question is if showing him those stats causes him to update his beliefs given the apparent contradiction.

Perhaps more importantly, though, to consider the fact that things like cheating risk are a risk:reward assessment, not a binary. To give a concrete example, the woman I’m dating isn’t a virgin. Based on the numbers, that alone is a cheating risk. If I was to take a black and white stance, because there is any increased risk, I should bail. But in her case, I like her enough and the increased risk is sufficiently low that I’m willing to tolerate a slight increase from baseline instead of virgin hunting.

Dating young has the advantage of getting a much more attractive woman than a man’s age matched dating pool. This might be worth the tradeoff to a particular man. But highly promiscuous women have a much less obvious upside.

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The problem is that I'm not engaging in Tu Quoque. However, I can understand it may appear that way to someone who is unversed in syllogisms.

Your argument is that people who engage in "bad faith" are the ones who complain about being blocked, which I countered with a claim that your interpretation of "bad faith" is incorrect due to subjective interpretation and bias. You have no way of determining that you are not merely considering those users "bad faith" because you disagree with them in principle and are interpreting their arguments in the worst manner possible.

Then, you invoked tu quoque by saying I'm biased, instead of countering the rejection of your claim. That is a character attack and not an argument attack. My "bias" has no validity on whether my point refutes your argument, but you chose to go this "bad faith" argument direction because no "good faith" argument exists for you.

The fundamental difference and what defines a "Tu quoque" is whether our arguments attacked the validity of the opposing claim or whether they merely attacked the character of the opponent to make it appear as if the opposing claim is less valid.

If you're going to double down on "Tu quoque" at least have a fundamental understanding of the concept.

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How do you mesh the following statement:

If I couldn't find a man with my beliefs and values who viewed me as an equal, I know I would've preferred cats.

With the below argument you made the other day:

What is true is that both hypergamy and rampant catladyism are biologically defensible. Women are the ones who have normal IQs, they protect the mean. Men are both more likely to be geniuses and literal retards than women are, therefore a huge contingent of men are beneath the average woman from an intellectual perspective. They are less capable of impulse control, and women are quite literally better off alone than living with these walking muscles with peanuts in their skulls who can't do anything besides lift heavy objects and beat people.

If women are better than the men that are below them intellectually, surely the men worthy of relationships are better than the women that are below them intellectually?

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what compelled you to create that strawman

Oh I don't know, baby the fact that you're telling women exactly why we need medication to be mroe happy and healthy as if that was ever your place. As if nothing else has changed in the modern world except women choosing singledom more easily l? Nothing at all?

And no he wasn't aware he was being recorded.

Why was he not situationally aware? He's a major public figure, and talking about anything like that all in public is very crass at best but harassment at worse. His daughter has to hear that shit, as do his subordinate female colleagues. The type of worldview where a man lacks any such kind of thoughtfulness is a worldview with which I don't particularly care to closely coexist. With Trump it wasn't just a one-off comment, either, he's a cheat who has been run through by multiple wives and sidearms. He's a capitalist pig who employed laborers illegally, declared bankruptcy several times in such a way to exploit the law, and used his leading public office for product promotion. Like, no a man doesn't have to agree with me on every small thing, but of course certain values are going to be non-negotiable. Those who stand for nothing will fall for anything.

Edit: This goes double for women, at least women like me, who tend to be very 'nice,' agreeable and maybe even sheltered. If I didn't know where my hard limits are, I could easily find myself in a very bad position. It's up to me to prevent dumpster fires somehow. It's so much easier when the people I'm dealing with are genuinely on my side and believe in at least the core values upon which my sanity and happiness rely.

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I never even said he was a bad president tbh. I said he's a cringey human being, and I wish to never closely interact with him.

Do you like presidents leveraging their power for wealth?

It's not a mystery how a president might gain wealth. I don't even have a problem with that, but as a young millenial I honestly do find Trump's level of wealth to be obscene and I would question his methods (not legally- on most fronts- or even strictly politically, just ethically).

What do you mean by admitted cheater?

I thought this was the most common knowledge. He has flitted from wife to wife over the years, even admitting to cheating and monkey branching with at least one of his affair partners.

Do you like the current state of inflation?

Again, I'm a young millenial. I was screwed for a short time before Trump became president, I was screwed while Trump was president, I'm screwed now, and I won't be surprised if I'm screwed next year. Honestly, the blue state goverment of California has so far been my only hope at clawing my way up in this broken economy, and I admit even that is a crap shoot. If you're older, you may not understand. If you didn't choose a respected profession that is dominated by the opposite gender only to end up waiting tables, you probably won't get it. It's OK, my parents didn't get it either. I didn't get it. I thought that the era of feminism was over, too (boys will be boys, not everybody will be polite, get over it, women can work now too of course you have the opportunity). In 2016, I thought that Trump's reign might fix the economy and open up opportunities for me, too. I was wrong.

[–]Special-Armadillo-992 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's not a mystery how a president might gain wealth.

Through corruption and granting favors to the rich.

I don't even have a problem with that,

You don't see a problem with the literal corruption of the highest seat of power but you do see a problem witg language you don't like.

but as a young millenial I honestly do find Trump's level of wealth to be obscene and I would question his methods (not legally- on most fronts- or even strictly politically, just ethically).

And yet trump followed the law and didn't sell favors to the rich as president which is the real reason the media hated him so much. The media is owned by rich people used to being able to buy presidents to make decisions on policy that benefit the rich.

Trumps presidency took HUGE strides towards fixing the economy by every measurable statistics and despite California's policies it is one of the states with the largest gap between the poor and middle class and the elites.

What if I told you all these feel good policies are designed to sound good but solely benefit the rich in reality? That the more a state virtue signals the less it actually helps their working class people?

You're young as you said. The media has poisoned your mind onto thinking a president who is not politically correct is worse than one who sells policy and power to the highest bidder.

I fear for our country

[–]houstongradengineer1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

you don't see a problem with the literal corruption of the highest seat of power

Money earns money. Rven presidents who dont sell out are going to get richer.

Obama is a millionaire, not over half a billion if my cursory sources are correct. Trump is a billionaire. Trump IS the rich. Let me say that again: Trump IS the rich. I'll take a white trash misogynist over Trump any day. Trump is a part of the <1% ruling class and that's a problem. I'm not the hugest Obama fan either, but if I had to choose... well, what I've said before is explanation enough.

all these feel good policies are designed to sound good but solely benefit the rich in reality?

I am not stupid, despite what you likely think. I know there are policies like this, republican and Democrat alike. If the only difference is how each party treats women, gay people, and minimum wage? I think I know what I'm gambling on, just for an eventual change of pace if nothing else.

rumps presidency took HUGE strides towards fixing the economy by every measurable statistics

I'd love to see where you got this from because as a hopeful engineer I'm not seeing strides that are anywhere near enough. I didn't feel any measurable stride in my position while in Texas, actually. I had to move to California and grasp at any straws. There was no other reasonable choice.

despite California's policies

So you admit the policies should work?

it is one of the states with the largest gap between the poor and middle class and the elites.

I'm sure that's statistically true, and I've seen a host of issues here. It's not perfect. It was merely my only hope, and honestly still may change my life to becoming UMC again. I had to learn that the lower statistical gap in Texas meant nothing to me practically if policies and society are such that there is no room for young people, especially young women. Try again, this isn't about being politically correct. This is about my survival and my peace.

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Massive study on long-term happiness: "There are a few important take-homes from this analysis. First, there are many paths to happiness. Most people are fairly satisfied with their life regardless of the composition of the big decisions they have made. This is a good thing. It means that, despite the seeming monumental importance of big life decisions such as moving across the country or getting married, you’ll probably end up relatively happy.

Second, there are some big life decisions that will reliably decrease your life satisfaction. These self-destructive decisions include engaging in crime and drugs. Even though these poor decisions are often made early in life, they put one on a treacherous path for decades to come."

https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/life-s-biggest-decisions/202102/which-big-life-decisions-lead-long-term-happiness

Perhaps fewer American women and men would be unhappy if they hadn't gotten hooked on Oxycontin by misleading advertising about how "non-addicting" it is.

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This is not a “bloop” “belief.” It’s not a “belief” at all. It’s a physiological response related to one’s arousal triggers.

You thinking that is unironically “blue-pilled” which has been my critique with your line of thinking for a while now.

Let me break something down for you:

sexual interest is mental for women
so for example if she is resentful she doesn’t desire and doesn’t feel aroused by you — men who lose her respect/admiration or are unmasculine or are incompetent or are non-comforting etc experience this acutely.
in the example I linked, said man has an opinionated issue with LGBT community. His opinions and lack of consideration in how he expresses them invalidates myself and my loved ones. This pisses me off and leads to resentment and leads to a lack of desire and a waning attraction for him.
this phenomenon of “lessening desire due to resentment” is not “bloop” it’s FEMALENESS and a direct insight into how female arousal/desire works

You not comprehending that on a continual basis is so ANTI-RED I can’t even process how you’ve gotten away with not understanding female arousal triggers for this long and being called “red” anything. If you do not comprehend then YOU are, say it with me now, BLOOP. Just a continual wool over your eyes missing the forest for the trees.

How many long-term relationships have you had? How long have they lasted? Are you married?

I struggle to believe that a man who doesn’t connect those dots has had a successful LTR with a woman.

[–]TheJim660 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

sexual interest is mental for women

Yes

so for example if she is resentful she doesn’t desire and doesn’t feel aroused by you — men who lose her respect/admiration or are unmasculine or are incompetent or are non-comforting etc experience this acutely.

No. Resentment and lack of comfort doesn't cause loss of sexual attraction. Women that are literally abused(physically or mentally) /cheated on/abandoned /whatever still desire and have feelings for those asshole partners.

Lack of sexual desire can cause resentment though.

This pisses me off and leads to resentment and leads to a lack of desire and a waning attraction for him.

this phenomenon is not “bloop” it’s FEMALENESS and her female arousal/desire works

🔵

I struggle to believe that a man who doesn’t connect those dots has had a successful LTR with a woman.

I've been in a relationship for more than 4 years. A smooth one.

[–]GridReXX3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheJim661 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That’s great. If it’s “smooth” and “copacetic” more than its not, it means that you and she are probably aligned and compatible on core things. This isn’t incongruent with a single thing I’ve said.

Not politically. The only "political" topic we agree on is promiscuity.Somewhat.

Yeah it does. Abusers literally follow up the abuse with extreme love bombing and extreme comfort to wane her resentment and maintain her desire

Extreme lovebombing after the uppercut. Must be very comforting🤡Way overestimating the comfort these dudes offer.

They aren't comforting her to maintain her desire. They are doing it to stop her brain from getting in the way of her pussy and breaking up with him even though she still has feelings and desire for him. Women lose sexual desire from comfort.

[–]GridReXX2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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No you literally don’t understand women.

Where tf is Atlas. Resentment squelches pussy tingles. It’s like BC or Zoloft. It puts her not in a sexual space. In the abuse scenario (which I didn’t bring up, you did), if she still has active tingles and her pussy is jumping, she doesn’t resent him then.

I said lack of comfort can lead to resentment. If she continually overwhelmed and not ever comforted and makes a mental note that she could be less so if he offered it then that leads to her being pissed and thus resentful. Abuse victims do get there. And by the time she gets to that point, she’s ready to leave.

Again, I feel as though you are desperately grasping at straws to find disagreement in what I’m saying by injecting in scenarios that I did not.

typical woman beliefs

And If she has no resentment toward you, then it doesn’t affect compatibility because you guys are aligned on core values… I don’t get what’s not clicking.

[–]TheJim661 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

She doesn't resent him for hitting her? How much are you gonna hamster?

How much are you going to hamster?

I literally explained the psychological cycle already. It doesn’t compute for you. Sure. I get that.

Abuse victims don't leave because they stop desiring the dude. They leave DESPITE desiring the dude.

I NEVER BROUGHT UP ABUSE VICTIMS. You did. But since you brought it up I explained when resentment factors into their dynamic.

Stop strawmanning my comments.

No, lack of desire can lead to resentment.

It can and does work both ways.

Did you already forget your original claim of politics being a major compatibility factor?

No. You inferred that political beliefs don’t affect compatibility. I said that’s false. And then explained over the past 90 min, when that specific scenario can happen. I never said “major.” That’s dependent.

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And a man in a LTR, let’s say a marriage with kids, is going to want to counter the resentment. A common resentment that builds up is a man being unable to earn a living. Compound that with him being incompetent domestically. The lack of admiration and respect from him in this regard causes resentment whilst also directly impacting her lust for him. So now she’s resentful because her livelihood is at stake causing her to be fatigued and frustrated by working more AND she’s resentful because all of this has made her desire him less and recoil at his touch. It’s a fully intertwined symbiotic dynamic. It’s not linear, it’s multi-directional.

Let’s use another example that’s not so linked to masculinity. Let’s say they have an infant. They both work. He’s still masculine and sexy. But over the course of 5 months she’s become fatigued and exhausted because she is doing the lionshare of work. He hasnt done anything he hasn’t been doing. But now she’s resentful and even though he still has a six pack and smacks her ass, she’s physically exhausted and annoyed that he’s smacking her butt but not changing a diaper. Annoyance, frustration, mental fatigue DRIES up pussy and sexual thoughts for women. It benefits a man who wants sex from his woman to understand that. If he doesn’t want that, then sure he can do what he wants. But if he’s at all confused or doesn’t get “why” or is flat-out incorrect on the assessment of the “why” then he’s definitively bloop.

[–]TheJim661 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Let’s use another example that’s not so linked to masculinity. Let’s say they have an infant. They both work. He’s still masculine and sexy. But over the course of 5 months she’s become fatigued and exhausted because she is doing the lionshare of work. He hasnt done anything he hasn’t been doing. But now she’s resentful and even though he still has a six pack and smacks her ass, she’s physically exhausted and annoyed that he’s smacking her butt but not changing a diaper. Annoyance, frustration, mental fatigue DRIES up pussy and sexual thoughts for women. It benefits a man who wants sex from his woman to understand that. If he doesn’t want that, then sure he can do what he wants. But if he’s at all confused or doesn’t get “why” or is flat-out incorrect on the assessment of the “why” then he’s definitively bloop.

I’m reposting this again because your reply to me still seems to not be clicking wrt this very common example.

If you disagree with that example then we are stuck at odds here. That’s okay. I’m okay with that.

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Meal planning isn't the same as meal prep. Meal prep is preparing and packaging mealsin advance so you don't have to cook for the rest of the week. Meal planning is planning out what you're going to cook ahead of time. I meal plan, I don't meal prep. Hello Fresh kits aren't intended for meal prep, they're intended to be cooked and eaten...fresh. Like the name suggests.

Yes a small local GYM OWNER using a gym isn't a surprise. I wouldn't be surprised if the man was fit but also a handsome bodybuilder with a twelve pack?

It's weird that you're acting like all these things are in isolation though. It is likely that a bodybuilder has a six pack. It is likely that a bodybuilder is handsome. It is likely that a person who owns a fitness-related business has a fitness-related hobby. Yes all of these things are rare in isolation but they also correlate with each other so it's not outlandish that they would exist in the same person. I'd be more surprised to learn that someone with a 12-pack wasn't a bodybuilder, or that someone who owned a small local fitness-related business didn't have a fitness-related hobby.

If someone told me they were dating a 150 IQ PhD who owned a software company, obviously that's a rare person, but I wouldn't be shocked to learn that all of those traits exist in the same person despite each trait being rare on its own. Because those traits travel together.

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This Chad has been showing interest in me and not gonna lie, I really wanna fuck him.

No talk about loss of self control.

An attractive man is showing interest and you're considering it? Oh the humanity, how absolutely terrible 😭 /s

None here...

He hasn’t explicitly said he wants to fuck and if he did I would still have to be won over. But I def think about him when I pull out my vibrating friend.

None here...

why does he have to win you over when you clearly want to fuck him?

Still none

Cause I don’t just fuck anyone just like that.

Nope

but clearly you want to though. interesting 😄

Still nothing...

It's mad that you're so baffled by the concept of self control...

And here we have the 1st comment about self control, which has nothing to do with the OP, nor the conversation happening, but somehow, out of left field, we have some random BP trying to twist the conversation into 'men no understansz self control hurr durrrr'.

Ah yes a post made on reddit by a woman who clearly wants to shag a guy and you chat shit about self control

Understandable response, given that the previous response was a completely unwarranted attack.

Yes I'm quite aware that, to many men seemingly including you, feeling attraction and lust is identical to totally helpless and out I'd control.

And here, you double down on the nonsense, adding even more ridiculous nonsense that was never in the OP. You're just fabricating grievances. Constructing an elaborate strawman...

How would you expect women to respect your differences in the way you casually run through women without a care for them if you can't accept our ability to put mind over matter sexually?

More complete nonsense. Do you think you're writing a fan fiction here?

We all know why that is. Projection is very real.

Projection of what? I've seen chat bots make more coherent points...

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No I wasn't. Try re-reading my comments again, this time more slowly...

I took it as you talking about all women when you said "them", and used female PPD users as an example. If you're just talking about female PPD users, then fair enough (though I do disagree that all female users here are saying that women don't partake in casual sex)

So you can't remember a single time, off the top of your head, where you disagreed with the female narrative and called them out on it??

Do you not see the problem?

Lol I must admit, I was confusing you with another user, hence the snarky response quoting them, apologies.

I've called out gimpgirl many times when she claims to speak for all women, and recently I called out female users who were acting like they were talking for all women when I posted about how some women don't like their BF discussing their emotional/mental concerns.

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No, what I mean is, by what age do you think this would be apparent or indicative?

Where I’m from the overwhelming majority of my female classmates were getting their cheeks clapped for the first time roughly at some point in between 13-16.

So, like you said if she’s a decently attractive woman, which is also the phrase I typically use, who has comfortably never had a sexual encounter or a phase or anything of the sort, then she apparently doesn’t have what would be seen as a normal sex drive.

I’d say that age is about 19 where it becomes apparent that she would be asexual or something other than ordinarily heterosexual with a healthy sex drive. To go through 4 years of high school and never having had sex is one thing but to go through 4 years of high school and never having wanted to have sex with anyone is another. It’s almost like there’s no way that you went through 4 years of school and never found anyone remotely sexually attractive.

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[–]StacksFifthAve1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, they have those hang ups because of their Almighty God.

It’s not fair of you to blame me or men in general for women deciding to abuse their assholes and mouths in seek of keeping a clean pussy. A slut is a slut, regardless of what hole she uses to pleasure men. It’s out of our hands in helping them get over that brand of hypocrisy.

But, why are we talking about them? As in, what do they have to do with this; they don’t fit the criteria. They want to have sex, as evidenced by the amount of meat they’re being rammed up their ass by. Isn’t this about women who don’t want to have sex at all? Women who reach a certain age without having had actual urges and feelings and desires to have sexual encounters?

Men want forever virgins but don’t want women who have a disinterest in sex.

Maybe some do, I can’t speak for them. There is also many of us who just want consistency. I would say we are more the important segment of men.

Men are tired of women attempting make us believe that being a 2 is better than being a 1, when we both know it’s not. This isn’t really what the conversation was about but for some odd reason it felt like it was trending there.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]StacksFifthAve1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

What else am I supposed to call them? This isn’t a “tranny” or “she-male” vs “transgender” issue and it’s definitely not a “nigga” vs that “er” mf that I’m not even going to type out. It’s a simple term used to denote women who believe they are preserving virginity by being anally and orally penetrated in lieu of having vaginal sex.

Is a sexually active homosexual man a virgin just because he doesn’t have a pussy to let his boyfriend beat up? Would you be a virgin if you had never had sex with a man? The answer to both of these questions are no. You and the homosexual male would be sexually active and experienced in your own arenas.

Women aren’t virgins just because they choose to let men abuse their anuses to spare their vaginas.

That is a God/religious issue. If it weren’t for their own belief system that they wish to abide by although they fail in abstaining from their sexual urges, they wouldnt allow others to stress their anus to spare their vaginas.

[–]GridReXX1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]StacksFifthAve1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You’re speaking as I came up with the term. Grammatically, the term is used because that’s what it denotes. Loophole is a means of evasion or avoidance according the Oxford American Writer’s Thesaurus, which fits the bill of the phenomenon. Virginity is commonly seen as the absence of having being penetrated vaginally, which is why they use their anuses and mouths.

Fucking is fucking. Sex is sex. Whether a woman’s mouth, pussy, or ass is being fucked, it’s sex.

You’re on one with this one. We weren’t even talking about loophole girls, we were talking about women who seem to have no desire to have sex at all. It doesn’t matter if you wouldn’t think to designate it or think negatively about, because there’s nothing to even think about here. They’re just girls having sex and trying to absolve themselves of guilt. If they would get their own heads out of their ass, they could live life a little happier. It’s 2022, nobody’s excepting church girls to be virgins until marriage anymore.

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Ohh gimp… well I wouldn’t qualify my statement. I would like to meet her too. To become such a pick me she might have a very interesting backstory.

In my life I always gravitate towards broken people, I try to fix them, but I honestly don’t try too hard I guess I used to be an enabler, watching with morbid curiosity. Trying to figure out how they tick. It can’t be too healthy to keep doing that.

Anyway she said she sees a doctor so maybe she isn’t anorexic? Calorie restriction to that level should affect her menstrual cycle, she didn’t report Amenorrhea so yeah I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I haven’t really gone and checked her photos and the sub so I don’t know much.

Didn’t know she profits from this pick me thing, does she sell any program on how to be a pick me?

I think even the red pill guys would reserve their utmost contempt not for any fds or blue pill women rather they would pick a “white knight”, a blue pill man. Because on some level each camp hates traitors… but I might be off base here, it’s not so obvious we can say red pill is a men’s camp and blue pill is a women’s camp…. But gimp in particular seems to worship men and care deeply about men.

I remember her explaining how she hated PUA for trying to win the affections of girls by trying too hard. She seems to really believe men deserve to just get women on a platter. That too not just the top men, all men. Fascinating stuff… I should have become a therapist.

[–]houstongradengineer2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Anyway she said she sees a doctor so maybe she isn’t anorexic?

No matter how interesting she may be, I just don't think I could risk seeing a potentially anorexic person who talks about her issues on my vice sub. Too bad for my mental health. Her weight is low enough that she could be, from what I understand, and she says she's hungry so much of the time. I find find so sad.

She seems to really believe men deserve to just get women on a platter. That too not just the top men, all men. Fascinating stuff… I should have become a therapist.

She claims to believe this and she really stays consistent with this and only this value in mind, well mostly consistent. I've heard rumors that she does it fie profit. I haven't gone to her page, as I don't have the stomach or heart for it. It's genuinely not so much contempt as it is abject horror.

I think gimp prioritizes men, but I don't think any person who actually cares about person/group would rage agaisnt commitment if that's what the person/groups wanted to do. I don't think anyone who cares about others would condone actions that spread diseases, oopsie babies, and drama. Could be a naive take, probably is, but that's me lol

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I feel I'm one of the few people in my life who just doesn't pay attention to any news or keep up with anything that's happening in the world. I don't know, I just don't have time to keep up with anything, well I also don't care enough to be fair. But people always come at me going "Your privilege is showing by remaining uninformed!!"

The only time I need to care is election time anyway, why does it matter if I don't worry until then? I'll just read up on the candidates and make my decision then. Always weird when people ask me stuff like "What are your thoughts on (insert topic)" or "Did you hear about?" And I just have to go "I have no idea what the hell you're talking about."

I've always never really cared too much about politics or world events but in the book I'm reading right now called "The 4 Hour Work Week" by Tim Ferris, he agrees with this, saying you shouldn't waste time in TV, media, news or any other activity that will only eat into your time. If something happen you'll hear about it from someone you know.

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simping for many girls indiscriminately. Being an open book, no secrets, no boundaries, a doormat for everyone he meets.

Guys like that make women lose their arousal on a visceral level. Even if he changed, if his old friends talk about what a loser he was, being bullied, he took it all and did not stand up for himself, had no self respect, gave himself away cheaply, his time, energy, money, effort.

Did favors for everyone, did homework, lent money, let people take advantage of him. But I think more fundamentally, told secrets to girls, was emotionally intimate with many girls while the girls did not give him back any respect, attention or love.

Think of a guy who was friendzoned by many girls, he just followed these girls around, so this string of "realtionships" I think is a good analogy.

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both. i think contrary to popular belief women follow a lot of things men have set for us, so while kissing a girl is hot to men and we will do it for fun/the sake of pleasing men say at a party or club or something. most men would not be happy with each other making out, so we kinda follow that too. like “men think its gross and not masculine so i should too”. but we still empathize for the most part.

but someone on here said “a man that’s only ever slept with escorts” and that’s definitely aligned with almost dealbreaking to me if he doesn’t have a good explanation. but i’m literally the most open minded person i know. as long as it’s not harming anyone or nonconsensual im pretty nonchalant.

i’d definitely be grossed out by it initially way more than a man that experimented with another man.

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Yes, many. There's the obvious stuff like strength, size, being taken seriously, having a louder and more commanding voice, stuff like that.

But I think the big advantage is that men have to be proactive in the dating market, whereas women are largely reactive. Women kind of have to wait for men to approach them, and hope that the ones who approach are the right combination of attractive and reliable. Women are constantly having to figure out which guys are for real and which ones are just trying to get laid.

Men can more actively develop, and then filter, a pipeline of potential partners. This sort of requires that you meet the (relatively difficult to achieve) standard of high value, but once you do it, you have all the leverage. When you have options, you can begin actively eliminating women who don't meet your requirements.

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You really think a 5’8 guy and a 6’1 guy have the same level of strength?

They may not be, but they are both much stronger than me, and would be able to hold me down if I let them get on top of me. Men do not have to be taller than a woman to be stronger than her.

So their excuse about wanting to “feel protected” while simultaneously being fearful of men doesn’t make sense

It’s not the same men lol. I’m not fearful of the men that protect me - I’m scared of the other men that want to hurt me. Even men are scared of other men, you’d have to be an idiot to think all men can be trusted and they shouldn’t be feared.

When I was younger I got a stalker once, and I was scared of him, and the police were no help at all. My boyfriend stayed over one night when the guy showed up (he lived far away and the stalker didn’t show up every night), he went out there and scared him off and I never saw the guy again. So yes, I feel both protected by men and scared of them - but it’s completely different men.

My goal was always to find a nice strong man that makes me feel feminine when I snuggle them, but who would only use his strength against bad people and never against me. (And the goal was achieved!)

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I'm not getting into another one of these stupid discussions.

But look up every serial killer ever, note how many were male, and how many of their victims were female, for example.

Also, your chances of being raped by a man as a woman than vice-versa is way, way higher.

Look up stalkers. There are examples of women stalking men, but overwhelmingly it is men who stalk women.

I'm sure someone can dredge up some spurious statistic that claims men should be more wary of being physically assaulted by a woman than vice-versa, but this is just a total delusion.

Every time you enter into a relationship with a man as a woman, particularly a man that is not known to you, it incurs a far greater degree of physical risk than the reverse. Every woman knows this. Every man that doesn't know this should learn this.

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Q4Mods: do I have to do anything special about the people who I blocked before the new function came about? I actually had trouble before even trying to unlock on mobile

At this time, we have not made any official decisions regarding people who were blocked prior to the start of the new function. Unofficially, I would ask you to offer amnesty to individuals that have previously been blocked in hopes that things have improved with them, and to report if things have not. Of course this is optional, and you will not be warned/banned for continuing to block users that have been blocked since prior to the new function.

The only official rule we have with this for now, is to not abuse the block function moving forward. This would mean situations where two users who are having a debate and one person frivolously blocks the other to end the discussion. I will make a thread explaining the new rule(s) in detail once the mods have figured out what else, if anything, will change regarding the new block features.

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Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	14
Comments	1725
Date	January 26, 2022 11:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sd3ee8/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1097466 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097466

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