Do women feel insulted if a man expresses that he wants to hookup?

baresquad · 2022-02-28T15:36:36+00:00

Well asking her “Would you like to fornicate?” definitely isn’t gonna make her wanna fuck you. That’s such a weird way to go about it and no woman is gonna find it sexy

You wanna fuck somebody, flirt with them. Let your actions speak for your intentions. Read the room, if she’s not reciprocating with flirting or being sexual back, she’s not gonna fuck you, move on

That simple

cowfishAreReal · 2022-02-28T15:55:45+00:00

Well if you ask that people will think you're creepy and certainly not have sex with you

No_Tomorrow915 · 2022-02-28T15:04:01+00:00

It’s not a compliment because on some level we know a lot of men will fuck anything. Not even certain fruits are safe.

I feel far more flattery when someone is clearly interested in dating me.

Sunshine12e · 2022-02-28T15:25:58+00:00

Please do not ask that question to any woman. If you really just want hookups, you are going to have to learn to be a bit charming and flirt and use less direct language (but use direct language when getting consent, just not the word "fornicate"). During the flirting stage, be interested in more about her, even if you are only looking for a hookup, she is still a person. Also, keep in mind that there are a lot of women who are not into hookups, so don't press if she is not interested and do not take that personally.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-02-28T15:49:29+00:00

I mean that's not a really strong opening. Like why would this woman have sex with you just because you find her attractive? I'd probably just say something inflammatory like how do you feel about pegging?

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-02-28T16:16:10+00:00

Women aren’t attracted to a man unless he has social acumen. The whole drawn out, indirect mating dance is the process of the man demonstrating his social abilities to the woman’s liking. Trying to bypass that is trying to deny women one of their main vetting mechanisms. Naturally, they’re going to hate that.

yyyyy622 · 2022-02-28T16:00:48+00:00

Most women can go into a bar and get several men. Why would they have sex with you if you aren't charming, attentive and sauve?

Just saying you want to have sex isnt anything special, we go through life having to reject most men, even at very young ages. One more means nothing.

AwaySet387 · 2022-02-28T18:32:54+00:00

I can't speak on behalf of all women of course but a lot of us do have this weird ego trait where we want to always be the women that a guy wants to be with rather than hook up with. Even if we only have intentions of hooking up with the guy ourselves. It's also something many won't admit to unless they're painfully self aware lol.

StonedSpaceCadet · 2022-02-28T16:26:30+00:00

I wouldn't be insulted, but I would be VERY repulsed. If I'm out in public, I don't want strange men to talk or acknowledge me in any way, shape, or form.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-02-28T15:27:06+00:00

I’d be grossed out more than insulted.

AnnoKano · 2022-02-28T15:35:31+00:00

I don’t think I know any woman who wouldn’t be impressed by a man who uses the word ‘fornicate’.

luliloo · 2022-02-28T16:15:01+00:00

The insulting part would be if it was also in context of, “I don’t want to date you / I don’t like you enough to consider anything serious with you but I’d like to use your body please.”

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-02-28T19:56:35+00:00

Women love men who love women. Saying that she is no more than a set of moist holes to you is probably not going to score you a lot of points.

TomorrowsWar · 2022-02-28T15:04:41+00:00

We can have sex with almost anyone. If that’s not what we are looking for, we will see you as a nuisance. That is just as logical.

moparmaiden · 2022-02-28T15:28:42+00:00

Not a compliment. Gross.

sarkington · 2022-02-28T15:29:10+00:00

If you need to say the quiet (and selfish) part explicitly and out loud, it’s pretty rude

You don’t see sales people say, “Can you help me earn a commission?/my boss told me to sell you something” instead of “can I help you find something/what can I do for you today?”, do you?

Material-Hotel7013 · 2022-02-28T18:23:25+00:00

I'd be unequivocally repulsed.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-02-28T15:59:26+00:00

"I find you very attractive, would you like to fornicate?”

would you like to fornicate?” Would she be repulsed and/or feel insulted?

I wouldn't feel insulted. I prefer it. Very honest at least.

I'd would feel repulsed though.

Men don't want to be used for their money, I don't want to be used for my body. And yes, the pleasure must be mutual, it doesn't mean that its goal will be reached.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-28T15:02:52+00:00

It's weird to say out of the blue. At least see if she seems somewhat interested in you first. Although bear in mind you're hardly likely to be so attractive on first sight that she's immediately blown away, unless she maybe happens to be so promiscuous she doesn't really care, so the answer will probably be no.

goatismycopilot · 2022-02-28T15:20:49+00:00

I would think they would be annoyed rather than insulted because all men want to hook up and would have sex with a bowl of jello or a dead animal.

wtknight · 2022-02-28T15:12:54+00:00

That’s a crude way of asking even the women who do want to have casual sex. The few times that women were interested in casual sex with me the implication was that we go somewhere private. “Sex” was never actually mentioned.

AtTheEnd777 · 2022-02-28T15:39:14+00:00

Dude, I've had men fucking me since I was three. Your arousal is not inherently a compliment.

quiturbitchn · 2022-02-28T15:59:53+00:00

If I was looking for casual sex it’s whatever. But just because someone is good looking doesn’t mean they are a good fuck

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-28T16:00:10+00:00

Do women feel insulted if a man expresses that he wants to hookup?

No but it is annoying.

If I ask a woman: “I find you very attractive, would you like to fornicate?” Would she be repulsed and/or feel insulted?

I would be repulsed because you sound creepy, but I would not feel insulted.

hemaristhysbe · 2022-02-28T18:10:37+00:00

I've never met a man so attractive that I wanted to fuck him without knowing something about him, so I'd either laugh or fear for my safety, but I wouldn't feel insulted because I'd assume he was mentally ill.

I'd just walk away or ensure my safety. But take it personally? Nah. That kind of craziness is on him. Not my fault; not my problem.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-02-28T16:30:43+00:00

Your actual words are super cringe, but in general, no.

WYenginerdWY · 2022-02-28T20:34:23+00:00

would you like to fornicate?

I'd think you were fucking weird bro

Also, a man asking to hit it and quit it is definitely an insult, even if he doesn't say "fornication". That's basically a horny dude walking up and saying "you're good looking enough I can stand to stick my dick in you, but not so good looking I feel like I need to be polite to you or pretend to care about you as a person".

hellobitchitsme · 2022-02-28T17:36:00+00:00

Not really insulted but it's like "good for you man, but idk what that gotta do with me lol". Men will literally fuck anyone so you telling me you wanna fuck me is really a no brainer to most women.

figuringMylife · 2022-02-28T14:57:52+00:00

yes. have some tact.

edit: women are NOT men. and a lot of y’all would be repulsed if we were

Slootando · 2022-02-28T16:33:27+00:00

Asking women directly puts them on the spot, takes away their plausible deniability, places accountability upon them (which they hate), and removes their ability to hamster it away as “omg not my fault, one thing led to another and it just like happened!”

crookedsummer2019 · 2022-02-28T16:50:39+00:00

Is there any time spent together before you ask to fornicate? (Please find another word if you ever decide to do this).

I mean, are we on a date? Cold approach? First Tinder message?….

CallMeJessIGuess · 2022-02-28T17:05:26+00:00

I’m all for people being honest with their intentions. I wouldn’t suggest being as robotic as the examples given in your post though. It still takes fineness and charm even if all you’re looking for is a hook up.

7-11-21-Luck · 2022-02-28T17:53:27+00:00

Because a lot of women like to make shit difficult for no reason.. They have close to 0 knowledge about male biology. The negative view of sex a lot of people were taught growing up. Also the asshole men in the past.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-02-28T17:55:16+00:00

Well that phrasing sounds very “m’lady” and very creepy, no one uses the word “fornicate” seriously. You can and should, however, be honest that you’re looking for something casual and not interested in dating for a relationship. Flirt, be fun, let her know by your actions and words you are just looking for a good time and can make it a good time for her too. You can be honest without being rude and weird.

Tough-Cookie0592 · 2022-02-28T18:19:52+00:00

I wouldn’t say yes but that’s because I don’t like to get sexual without knowing the person. Also because I am not into hooking up. I feel quite “used” at the end of it and that’s usually the beginning of a downward spiral for my mental health. Just surviving, you know.

I am quite sure there are women (see r/tinder) who want nothing more than a nice evening or two with someone they find attractive but it’s not me.

Visible-Doughnut-782 · 2022-02-28T18:43:46+00:00

Unless you look like Henry Cavil this is not going to work for you.

Even Woman that are ultimately just after casual sex themselves want the illusion that they are not just being used for their body.

You have to remember that Woman and Men are not the same when it comes to sexual desire. A man will happily sleep with just about any Woman if she straight up asks for nothing more than sex. No courtship required whatsoever.

A Woman-no matter how promiscuous-nearly always wants to feel like she is being wooed on some level. Casual sex to a man is just sex. Causal sex to a Woman is attention and validation with a side order of sex.

StacksFifthAve · 2022-02-28T18:46:12+00:00

Lil bro, why would you use the word ‘fornicate’ to get your point across?

Furthermore, why are you here? You got at least like two more years of failing to go through before you need to be here.

Sophiatab · 2022-02-28T19:22:44+00:00

I would feel highly insulted because it would mean he thought I would consider casual sex.

Spacechicken1998 · 2022-02-28T19:28:20+00:00

Sounds like that one serial killer who murderer women and raped them after they refused when he asked for sex. Cringe.

xcheshirecatxx · 2022-02-28T20:41:56+00:00

I would definitely be weirded out by the use of fornicate

Return_of_Hoppetar · 2022-02-28T22:08:31+00:00

I'd be creeped out as hell. But not because the proposal is bad in itself. But because here is someone with not enough self awareness to adhere to basic social rules. I'd think there's a disease, maybe a frontal lobe tumor, going on.

In a society in which it was normal, I wouldn't mind. I would probably reject, but no offense taken.

JoanGreenCat · 2022-02-28T22:41:44+00:00

I would appreciate if people were this straight forward. I don't do hook ups but I would not take it as something offensive if he just asked.

Friedidli · 2022-03-01T00:07:05+00:00

Depends on the attractiveness of the guy.

rowang96 · 2022-03-01T00:07:53+00:00

If you know literally nothing about them how could you even know if you’re going to be sexually compatible? How do you have any idea if she’s interested in you? It’s not that honesty is the problem, trust me I’m autistic and I wish people would be more straight forward, but intentionally putting someone on the spot, as well as forcing them to engage in a conversation that is sexual w ZERO knowledge of their comfort level, is gross. The reason it’s gross isn’t because you’re being honest, it’s because you literally do not care about who they are and if they are comfortable, which is also an indication that you would be a TERRIBLE lover lmao. Once you have an established relationship it’s absolutely acceptable to say “I find you attractive and while I’m not interested in a relationship, I would be interested in physical intimacy if that’s something you’re also interested, no pressure” while that may not often yield positive results at least it isn’t degrading and entirely about you without even considering her humanity. Hope this helps.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-02-28T14:58:40+00:00

It wouldn’t insult me but it probably wouldn’t work lmaoo

buffin-big-bowls · 2022-02-28T15:15:56+00:00

I’m not a woman nor am I a hookup expert but I’m pretty sure you don’t ask her right off the bat. Ask her if she wants to come over to your place or something, then once you’re there, make a move. Come on guys.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-02-28T15:24:40+00:00

It’ll only prove that you not only have the social acumen of a chipmunk, but that you’re possibly autistic and put her defenses up by saying it so overtly.

You don’t say “hey do you wanna fornicate” You say any variation of…

“Wanna pop open some wine?”

“Want to play (insert a competitive game you two may have talked about)”

“Wanna come watch (insert show or movie you two talked about maybe)”

Etc etc. plausible deniability.

Mark_Freed · 2022-02-28T16:37:47+00:00

Yes. Women like subtlety, innuendo, implicit communication.

Even if the guy is super hot, and she wants to hookup. She would rather the guy was not so explicit about his desires.

I think she doesn’t want to see herself as a slut. She wants plausible deniability. It’s crude and shows the guy has no social skills if he is so direct, crude about it.

She wants to feel like she has something to offer more than just her body.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-02-28T15:05:25+00:00

“would you like to fornicate” fuck no that sounds creepy and so formal. some variation maybe. it’s never gonna be insanely successful just on the street bc women are sort of conditioned by society to worry about if anyone might be a threat and like murder them

stickyapplejuice · 2022-02-28T16:33:08+00:00

If he’s ugly I become very insulted he even dared to ask me.

EugeneCezanne · 2022-02-28T17:55:11+00:00

Yes, the question is straightforward and logical. Humans, however, are not. We are diverse, emotional and nuanced. It would be illogical to treat us as, or expect us to be, otherwise. One of the many consequences of this is that, no, you usually shouldn't go around asking that question of strangers.

Moreover, as that conclusion is generally considered obvious and respectful, it is easy to form a low opinion of anyone who doesnt know it or behaves as if they do not care.

Arthur_da_King · 2022-02-28T18:24:09+00:00

My god, is there like a purple pill circle jerk or something? I swear sometimes y’all are trolling me

User1856 · 2022-02-28T19:36:34+00:00

If you say fornicate, you sound like you are on the spectrum.

mathzak · 2022-02-28T21:53:48+00:00

Women (especially physically attractive women) are offended because they’re accustomed to the luxury of fucking whoever they find attractive for looks alone, and don’t like when they’re utilized for the same purpose by someone else.

Background_Intern_55 · 2022-02-28T21:04:44+00:00

being honest about hookups = bad Having game and not wanting commitment = bad Being a good stable average guy = not good enough

This is why RP says women are delusional. They want commitment, but they also fuck men who they know won’t commit. They get commitment and then go fuck around because they are bored/want to be free. If anything men have been the same throughout history, we always want to fuck but we will commit if you can submit. The more power and freedom Women get the worse dating and marriage gets for them 😂.

Neednewundies · 2022-02-28T15:10:38+00:00

You are asking a question that can’t be answered. It depends on the woman.

If she wants to fornicate and you ask, then life is golden.

If she doesn’t want to and you ask, then you are a pervert.

If she wants to and you don’t ask, then you are not a man or loser.

If she wants to and you don’t pick up on her advances, then you are stupid.

Just go home by yourself and watch a porno. You will be much happier.

Eyes_and_teeth · 2022-02-28T15:46:32+00:00

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

AutoModerator · 2022-02-28T14:56:52+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Habil13 · 2022-02-28T15:21:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ringchef · 2022-02-28T16:25:08+00:00

If a girl and me have a vibe, I usually just tell them I’m not ready for anything serious but that we can still hang out. Balls in their court. They’re usually down. Girls like to think they can change a man. This is more for social circle game if I know I will see them in my day to day.

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-02-28T16:35:09+00:00

I wouldn’t feel insulted, but I’d also prob not hook-up with you and politely decline.

ohdiddly · 2022-02-28T16:44:03+00:00

If I could 100% guarantee my safety, and a random hot dude asked me to fuck, I would say yes.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2022-02-28T16:46:47+00:00

If you say it that way it’s super cringe. At least be seductive and say something sexy.

KirthWGersen · 2022-02-28T16:50:21+00:00

It is partly a cultural thing. Some cultures/classes are more direct than others.

I have, on several occasions, found that saying the exact words, "Let's go back to your place and have sex." has done the job. One time I said that it led to a 15-year relationship.

Obviously, you can't just walk up to someone and say that (although women have done exactly that to me on a few occasions, and I've always turned them down because it makes me very suspicious, no matter how drunk I am). But once you have had a few drinks together and felt the feeling grow, there is no harm in being direct.

hopesy123 · 2022-02-28T16:56:49+00:00

Personally i wouldn’t take it as an insult, but not really as a compliment either....I just feel numb to it. Like it’s gotten so repetitive and frankly...boring, so you just shrug your shoulders, block the number (or say I’m not interested and walking away if it was in irl) and move on to the next, and then it goes back to square one again. I would like to say I don’t mind people being direct, if anything they are more appreciated so I can move past them quicker, tho I’m not in the dating scene atm so I haven’t encountered it so much online anymore.

ididntwanttoexist · 2022-02-28T17:07:35+00:00

I'd feel repulsed at the idea of having sex with a stranger, but not insulted. At least they're being upfront and not trying to bs about wanting to date me first. If someone just randomly asked me like that out of the blue, with that wording, I'd probably laugh and move on. If it were someone who already knew me somewhat well, and should know I'd never be interested in that I'd be annoyed, though.

tired_hillbilly · 2022-02-28T17:16:55+00:00

Depends on how attractive you are.

Chad can just say "Hey bb, dtf?" and he's "confident"

If you are average or lower and say that, you're getting peppersprayed.

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-02-28T17:22:54+00:00

Those who want hook-up would not be repulsed or feel insulted. Those who don't want hook-up would be repulsed or feel insulted.

Also is this question the first thing that she hears you say? If yes, then they would probably feel repulsed.

I personally find it insulting if someone calls me beautiful. Probably because in my childhood I was only called beautiful in an exagerated manner by relatives that we see sometimes and other people that our parents interact with, while my brother was called smart. and I really hate the exagerated vocal maerisms that people talk with children. So maybe I colerate the word "beautiful" with the exagerated manner or being constantly called beautiful (not smart, funny, kind, ect) makes me feel like I'm just a shell/they are interested in the shell and not the person inside the shell, because they are always commenting the shell.

SiaSara · 2022-02-28T17:24:28+00:00

The word fornicate would give me the ick.

But, I wouldn't mind a certain level of directness if I am attracted to you. That's the key thing, really. Whether I'm feeling it too.

If it's obvious that that's what you want, I kind of find it manipulative for you to go through the motions of the whole courting thing.

I actually think if men were more direct it would save a lot of hurt feelings for women. Can't think how many times I've heard women say they spent time chatting and dating and then got ghosted after sex. Maybe if it was acceptable for guys to be more direct that sort of thing wouldn't happen.

doggiedoc2004 · 2022-02-28T17:26:09+00:00

Total turn off. Shows how superficial you are. Shows you are only after sex and have no interest in me as a person. While I understand many guys think this way, to lead with it would not result in a better outcome with most women. And as all the neckbeards and on here regularly claim - a girl who would say yes right away is a girl only worth a pump and dump. Not LTR material.

kittenated · 2022-02-28T17:43:59+00:00

“I find you very attractive, would you like to fornicate?”

I would laugh at my own boyfriend if he came onto me with that absolute stinker.

The impression I’ve gotten from this website is that women see it as a slap across their face if that question is asked, but it seems very logical.

Mate it isn't "logical". It's spectrummy af and socially blunted.

ILivetoEat_ · 2022-02-28T17:52:08+00:00

If you say it in a normal way then nope. Be charming, but let it be known you want nothing serious from the get go or when you get a chance. What's more insulting is being led on. I'm not even into hookups but I will always respect someone who's direct way more than someone who plays it like they want more, even if it makes me feel a little icky.

ririsbaby · 2022-02-28T17:53:13+00:00

Because men will fuck almost anything and anyone. If a man came up to me and asked me to sleep with him, I’d think he assumed I’m easy and would be desperate enough to sleep with a random man. That’s insulting and repulsive. Also, personally, I’d feel like you’re only interested in my body (which you are) and only see me as an real life inflatable doll. Not a person

tempaccc2022 · 2022-02-28T18:03:21+00:00

this would almost never work even if youre extremely attractive.

New-Context831 · 2022-02-28T18:13:28+00:00

You can act like a pig as long as she's into you

When it lands on the wrong ears though it can be awkward lol, takes practice

errrright · 2022-02-28T18:36:19+00:00

Assuming you aren’t actually opening like that and you’ve taken some time of flirt, it wouldn’t offend me. Sometimes that’s all men want, and that’s okay. It certainly beats leading a woman on and make her think you want more.

omega05 · 2022-02-28T18:38:39+00:00

If you want a causal hookup, you would still put in some effort. You think "I find you attractive" is enough?

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-28T18:39:56+00:00

I mean, I wouldn't hook up with them. As long as they don't lead me on for ages, I wouldn't be upset with them. I tend to be upfront. If I'm spending a lot of time with a guy and a relationship feels like the natural direction, I would probably be up front and tell them I'm only looking for a ltr. I don't see letting someone know you're only looking for something casual as anything different. Maybe bring it up a bit more tactfully tho lol.

NaturalQueer · 2022-02-28T18:56:02+00:00

If it’s a stranger it’s weird, if was someone who I know than it all depends on the relationship. I

f I was single and had a guy friend who I trusted that said that I might be totally down but even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t feel grossed out or insulted or anything. If it was someone I knew and disliked then I would be grossed out but that’s mostly likely cause the thought of having sex with them is gross.

For strangers it’s just uncomfortable, men wanting to fuck you isn’t necessarily a compliment considering how many men even here will admit to fucking basically anything. I know people can and do have sexual thoughts about strangers I just don’t want to hear strangers sexual thoughts about me because it’s uncomfortable, sex can be extremely intimate so it can be super weird for strangers to talk to you about engaging in that intimacy. Plus many women have been put in uncomfortable or dangerous situations because men wanted sex from them, this can make those situations extremely unnerving and scary.

Honesty can be good but time and place are super important factors.

Sekina7 · 2022-02-28T19:05:10+00:00

Considering the 'pig woman" experiment and how hard men,, most of which whom were not hideous where simping HARD for her with a view too easy, cheap sex proves amongst many other examples that a man being sexually attracted to you means almost nothing. NO ONE wants to be used as a masturbatory tool , especially with someone who may not give them the time of day outside of the bedroom or who considers sleeping with you 'dumpster diving' or at the very least who looks down on you for being so sexually available. GROSS.

kykyshmidt · 2022-02-28T19:07:04+00:00

Yes bc that means that u are reducing her to an orifice and not a relationship were her humanity is valued. Hook ups are a scam

alexaxl · 2022-02-28T19:10:46+00:00

There are clear indicators of sexual interest and better subtler words and signals when parties are keen on hooking up. Heat.

Who uses such biolgical vibe mood killer terms?

scrabbleGOD · 2022-02-28T19:20:50+00:00

Being direct works if you’re attractive enough and it’s the right kind of woman. But social games, flirting, etc. exist for a reason, to test out chemistry and express your interest.

Reisiluu · 2022-02-28T20:18:06+00:00

I heard that an acquaintance of mine asked a woman word to word "what's your stance on coitus" and actually got laid LMAO

But really, no. It's neutral or slightly annoying, but better than lying. If a guy tries to chat me up based on my looks I can guess what he's after. For context I don't hook up.

princessamc · 2022-02-28T20:22:33+00:00

Depends what her feelings towards you are. If she likes you more than that she’ll feel insulted probably.

SnooCats37 · 2022-02-28T20:23:49+00:00

It’s objectifying someone and women don’t enjoy being objectified. To add to that, If a complete stranger goes up to a woman and says that, they are likely to be pretty creeped out

Educational-Ad6210 · 2022-02-28T21:17:27+00:00

Not insulted, annoyed. It’s a self defense mechanism created to vet out non-reciprocal people. Because you are refusing to play the game. You are bringing a chess set to a basketball court and wonder why isn’t everyone lining up to be your playmate, but in fact you are just wasting everybody’s time to attention whore. You are disruptive, arrogant and lack sophistication.

Women are trying to trade with you in pennies to figure out whether having sex with you is a good decision, so they flirt, ask about your day and the weather to see if you can play a relatively simple game. Otherwise, if you blurt out whatever comes to your mind during small talk, why would she assume you are capable of a more complex and reciprocal game in the bedroom? She will just label you as incapable of interacting with people in a fair way: maybe you will rape her or kill her.

Please play the game everyone else is playing if you ever want to get laid, even if a woman is open to casual sex, she is not open to having it with a guy who has the word “fornicate” in his vernacular

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-02-28T21:37:44+00:00

Yes it’s insulting. I want to be seen and treated as a person not a sex toy. When men ask this it means they don’t see that woman as anything but a hookup. It’s like a woman approaching you and asking for $100. Men don’t want to be seen as a wallet. It’s the same thing.

jotravels · 2022-02-28T21:40:03+00:00

Well if a woman came up to you and said: it appears that you’re successful and would be able to support me financially for many years to come and provide high quality food and many expensive toys, as well as future college funds for our offspring, would you like to start trying for babies tomorrow? … Is that hawt?

slut-forager · 2022-02-28T22:17:18+00:00

Honestly it depends for how long we've been talking. Men telling me straight off the bat that they wanna hook up is uncomfortable for me. I don't get offended per say but it warrants a ghost or a block from me. I'm all for casual hookups but I'd like to get to know the person first to see if i find them actually attractive because I don't wanna end up hanging out with summer insufferable just because we wanted to hook up.

the_REAL_nihilist · 2022-02-28T23:20:31+00:00

Well not in those exact words, but I think it depends on a person to person basis. I wouldn’t be offended, but I know some women that might be.

GarbanzoJoe1103 · 2022-03-01T00:31:23+00:00

Women generally don’t find me attractive. I know this. If I even tiptoe the line of becoming flirty or sexual, it is “creepy”. Not sure if it is insulting so much, but it certainly seems unsettling.

SudaneseCharm · 2022-03-01T00:56:56+00:00

I would imagine its bad because a lot of sexual satisfaction for a woman is built upon the build up and foreplay, I'm not a woman but this is my guess. You saying that is equivalent to saying " I like to put the cart before the horse".

amyg36819 · 2022-03-01T01:34:59+00:00

it really depends. if it’s someone i really like (wanna fuck) then fuck yes. but if it’s some guy i met some days ago then fuck no. kinda controversial but hooking up with someone you reeeaaaallly like then it’s so much better. but when it’s a guy like a stranger to you then it’s just… creepy. at least if it’s with a guy and we’ve both ‘liked’ each other for a while then you must have a reason to like me back so it’s more than cool ☺️ ik my answer is kinda long but i hope it’s at least a little clear what i mean

belbelington · 2022-03-01T04:17:24+00:00

Women aren’t repulsed by being asked the question direct, they’ll be repulsed and annoyed by being asked too early in the interaction because at that point your offer amounts to ‘I find you sexually desireable enough to stick my dick in so long as I don’t have to do anything more than ask politely’. And for women that basically means not being hideously ugly which isn’t flattering even from a hot guy.

Furthermore this approach means the guy’s either so pitifully socially unaware that he doesn’t realize how unappealing it will be to most women or he does realize and did it anyway knowing it would most likely kill any chance he might have otherwise had with her and decided it was worth it when weighed against the time and effort required to build some rapport with her first. It would take naivety bordering on willful delusion for a woman to think he was asking out of any unique desire for her rather than just playing the numbers game in hopes of finding a sucker. Same goes for believing that the low effort approach won’t translate to low effort sex.

IcarusKiki · 2022-03-01T04:21:04+00:00

Game shows social savviness and status which are attractive in women. Being that blunt sexually is a turn off bc it shows you have no game or you see her as an easy lay

IveGotIssues9918 · 2022-03-01T05:01:55+00:00

To say that right out of the gate? Yes, it's creepy and insulting, and if you literally said "wanna have sex?" I would think that there was something wrong with you (mental illness/disability or on drugs) and that would make me feel unsafe. Being approached by guys who clearly just want my body has always made me feel cheap (like I'm not even worth the pretense of caring about to them, they literally just see me as a living fleshlight), and again, unsafe. It doesn't matter how hot he is, as I've been approached by handsome but clearly objectifying men before and noped out just the same.

Even in the cases where I've been flirting with someone at a party or something like that, the request to take things to the next level was never straight-up "wanna fuck?", as that would still put me off. It was "wanna come back to my room when this is over?" or something like that- and this was after we had already been talking for an hour or more. There are certain things that you can't just say to people. I wouldn't go up to some random guy and be like "hey stud, wanna fuck?" That's just not how human interaction works. This question has me genuinely wondering if you're on the spectrum- no shame, as I'm neurodivergent too, but I don't see how anyone would need this spelled out for them otherwise.

masochisticanalwhore · 2022-03-01T05:14:49+00:00

It's all in how it is asked, the words, the context.

Specialist_Orange946 · 2022-03-01T06:47:03+00:00

In the hookup culture that I’ve experienced, people have casual sex with people they somewhat like. Casual sex is fake intimacy, fake falling in love: it’s sex, but it’s also the pretending to be a couple and feeling some infatuation / excitement. You need to like the other person enough (at least while drinking) to chat at the party, walk home together, and feel some bit of connection. Just because it’s casual sex, doesn’t mean you’d do it based on looks alone (and that was true for men too!) Hence no one straight up asking “do you wanna bang”

DreamsOfWishes · 2022-03-01T07:47:31+00:00

Yes.

You aren't just calling me attractive. You are also saying that you think that there's a chance I'll say "yes".

Which means that you are calling me a woman without standards.

So you are either calling me ugly, but attractive enough, kind of like a butterface or you are saying that I look like a massive slut (because even normal sluts have higher standards then that).

AAh-__DuuuWhot337 · 2022-03-01T08:36:13+00:00

To many men in these comments have spent to much time listening to women give them bad advice, wasted their energy believing in the lies our mothers & grand mothers told us. It’s all BS. You want the truth on whether a women finds you being forward & not wasting her time insulting? Well. No. A majority of women will not be insulted. Actually, they will be much more flattered, understanding & reciprocal than you have been lead to believe.

Women are used to men wasting their time, lying to them, & leading them on constantly. Women are just as bad as men, the big difference is women don’t typically get rejected. They do the rejecting. The truth is a women would be much more willing to do a hook up if you are just honest from the beginning on what you want. If your a decent looking guy with a good sense of humor that’s not a cry baby bitch that complains constantly. 6 out of 10 times, if your forward. She’ll go home with you. But it’s the approach that does matter. It would shock you the things I have said to women that turned her on in the right ways. If you want to really change your experiences with women.

Any & all men that see this post. Buy it. Read it. Learn it. It’s not what you say that bothers her, but how you say it whether she feels it”.

Book title: Mode One Author: Alan Roger Currie

Book title: Say it…. Again Author: Alan Roger Currie

Read or Audioable both books & began taking control of your sex lives men. Good Luck.

undecided-name · 2022-03-01T09:13:02+00:00

Yes makes them insulted.

But doesn't stop me. Recently I told a girl "how are you fucking yourself with those long nails." She went from "that is so awful to say, you must be autistic" to "oooh that is so awful to say in this place, I wish you did it somewhere else oooh" I knew it was all just bullshit from the get go that women are raised with so I just smiled through out the whole uncomfortable exchange and let's say it's a very common pattern that ends up in having sex at the end. Other scenarios are 1. She will immediately show interest 2. She will immediately reject you.

Anyways speak your mind confidently and don't backtrack, have a spine my friend, if you don't want to get insulted by her then don't do it. But it is possible to do this shit

Mark_Freed · 2022-03-01T10:23:07+00:00

You should check this video. https://youtu.be/4qfBYdnPyAQ?t=137

Honesty hurts both men and women, we can't handle it.

When you want to hookup - she has to feel like it is not some inadequacy on her part that made you decide not to pursue a relationship with her.

To get her in the mood you need to flirt and make her feel desired, not objectified.

42nanaimobars · 2022-03-01T14:11:15+00:00

I’d feel awkward (I’m a virgin so I’d say no to his request).

OfCatandPagan · 2022-03-02T05:08:44+00:00

I do. You wanna quick fuck? Go find a hooker.

TheElusivePeacock · 2022-03-02T06:05:58+00:00

Offended? Nah. I would probably laugh my ass off though. I’d seriously think someone woman’s being dared to do that or lost a bet, because no way someone thinks this is going to get him someone agreeing to have shitty sex with him.

MattPayneWrestler · 2022-03-02T15:48:54+00:00

Yes, that would insult them for some reason. Probably cause they get that alot and are sick of it.

carcasstribunal · 2022-02-28T15:19:59+00:00

The repulsively ugly ogre woman lamented to the woman "I never get any male attention"
The woman responded; "well honey, that is a blessing."

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-02-28T15:22:52+00:00

I mean there's a certain level of tact to it but I wouldn't say insulted, if they have a good head on their shoulders they would actually respect the honesty but yes some will feel insulted but I can't say I give a shit lol

Dropout813 · 2022-02-28T15:28:17+00:00

For me personally No I don’t find it insulting because I like to be upfront about my intentions so I would hope for the same, so when a man ask me if I’m down to fornicate I’ll either Decline or accept depending on the situation and proceed on about my day it just makes things easier for me.

goneaway2thewind · 2022-02-28T15:55:49+00:00

They are more welcoming to that if you're already established as attractive. I have seen my friends hook up with chick's they literally met moments ago.

HinduProphet · 2022-02-28T20:48:47+00:00

It shows lacks of willingness to commit to her, or making that even a factor.

Women don't have strong incentives to hookup, unless the man is very very very attractive or very high value compared to them. Female sexual attraction is also not very visual right ?

Women fear you won't stick around after having children with them or after they lose their beauty as they become older. After you had children with them, the deed is done and you just need to do the minimum effort and she is now stuck with the children unless she gives them up for adoption.

This is basically about impregnating as many women as possible, at least some of your children will survive strategy, it is highly R selected. Women fear men who use this strategy unless those women are "independent" ones.

totalwpierdol · 2022-02-28T20:57:22+00:00

If they find him unattractive, they feel insulted and it's considered creepy

If they find him attractive, then it's flattering and hot

Title	Do women feel insulted if a man expresses that he wants to hookup?
Author	Habil13
Upvotes	51
Comments	315
Date	February 28, 2022 2:56 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t3hgw5/do_women_feel_insulted_if_a_man_expresses_that_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-feel-insulted-if-a-man-expresses-that-he.1104842 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104842

Comments