Reminder: FDS is about a specific way to date. It's not for everybody. Totally cool if this is not your cup of tea, just move on. We are not going to change our beliefs to accommodate misogyny.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-03-22T21:44:17+00:00

If you’re a woman that doesn’t agree with FDS, then why do you feel the need to preach that in this community? Really really ask yourself why you’re offended. Do you identify as an empowered woman and feel threatened by this content? Are you experiencing cognitive dissonance?

carlther · 2021-03-22T19:29:49+00:00

Have standards equals the acknowledgement that what you bring to the table as a woman is WORTH SOMETHING. We have been conditioned to believe that men grace us with their presence, their money, their attention, their dick. That what we bring to the table is inherently inferior. NO. How many women are walking around with horrible self-esteem, taking scraps offered by any scrote that comes her way? I spent a lifetime trying to learn my own value, and I refuse to settle for anything that is less than my HIGH value. It is imperative that I teach my daughters the same. Men desire our attention, they understand that our attention is worth something, that is why they collude as a society to make us believe that our value is inferior so that we will give our attention willingly and without payment in kind.

barbedwiredaisycrown · 2021-03-22T19:11:53+00:00

This message just gets more concise, razor-sharp, and example filled every time and I can't wait for future iterations of this message. :)

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-03-22T19:20:03+00:00

Yeah. And even if you did end up with a guy who showed some red flags but is a REALLY great guy and you're still together, remember,

You're the exception, not the rule.

Stop preaching other girls this BS about the 'power of love' and stop putting their well being in danger.

kandiirene · 2021-03-22T20:12:48+00:00

I don't agree with everything on this sub, but I don't have to in order to find the content here incredibly valuable. Seriously, thank you all so much for reminding me that no, my standards aren't too high, and yes, I can and should put my needs first before those of any man. I don't owe anyone my love or attention (except for myself of course)! And thank you so so much for introducing me to the concept of a "pickmeisha"! I only wish I would have learned of this concept a decade ago when I was a teenager!

Substantial-Win-7612 · 2021-03-22T19:53:31+00:00

I don’t know why, but the energy and attitude of this post is on a whole another level. If I was not straight I would have asked you out😅

Affectionate_Pilot42 · 2021-03-22T20:35:32+00:00

Not only did this sub show me how to have higher standards for the men im dating, but it showed me to have high standards for myself and my life in general and im fucking grateful for it.

MrsJohnMarston__ · 2021-03-22T19:00:12+00:00

I have to praise FDS for introducing me the phrase “community dick”.

Mind-Objective · 2021-03-22T18:42:37+00:00

Someone described women on FDS as having high standard and I’m like it’s just DIFFERENT standards and you don’t have to date these women which is okay.

Opening_Candidate471 · 2021-03-22T18:30:06+00:00

This is the only sub that I know I won't get kicked out for telling the truth about men. Thank you, and ty to the person who invited me here. I invited another yesterday and hope she finds the help she's looking for here :)

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-22T18:43:03+00:00

Hear hear! Been an influx of "BuT WhAt AbOuT tHe MeN" comments lately, i reported a few because I am so sick of seeing it. I think FDS Is very clear about this, yet somehow we still have newbies coming in and start arguing these things or being like "SAHM is SO EMPOWERING". Like sis, none cares. If you want to do it, then do it, but why do you need to preach it on FDS? I feel like these newbies need to get their ideas and relationships validated by the women on FDS- why? Is it because you deep down know it is shit, but if we validate you, you will feel more secure in it?

That is not our job, we are here to tell the truth from a MAXIMUM FEMALE benefit Point of view.

It doesn't mean that for instance we don't care about men getting raped, but this is not the forum to discuss that, there are literally a 100 other places for that discussion and it is chosen to NOT be here, because there needs to be a place which is WOMEN CENTERED ONLY. The patriarchy rules the society we live in and that is why FDS is needed.

So READ THE RULES, and read them again if you as a newbie don't understand it.

The things posted here on FDS, needs to be said and heard.

sherbearie · 2021-03-22T22:02:25+00:00

Why do people care so much about what we say here and changing our minds, when for one sub likes ours, there are 182928282 subs preaching hook up culture, open relationships, kinks and the likes? Almost as if they were insecure about their own lifestyle and standards, huh.

Alpha_Aries · 2021-03-22T18:49:49+00:00

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Tequila_Fridaze · 2021-03-22T19:39:08+00:00

Every single time I post here, I get DMd by some angry scrote who is snooping around. Listen, dudes, I don’t care about your low value bullshit!!!

ConfusedMegladon · 2021-03-22T19:26:07+00:00

I may not agree with every single post or comment, but this sub has taught me so much about valuing myself, vetting men, the dark side of bdsm and porn, having standards, being independent and what it means to be strong, and is one of the safest subs on reddit for women, and I love this community. When I see something I don't agree with I just move on. It's not for me, and that's ok. This community has a lot to offer, and no one is forcing anyone to agree with anything they don't agree with.

myousername · 2021-03-22T18:43:50+00:00

Haha oh no you went to Ban Appeals didn't you? 😂 definitely the worst, darkest, most psychologically taxing corner of modmail

soundslikeautumn · 2021-03-22T20:42:57+00:00

To me FDS is about teaching girls and women to make themselves a top priority in their own lives instead of continuing to do what has been shoved down our throats since forever which is to always put ourselves last. This is not nor has it ever been a sub about maliciousness and hatred. It's about celebration, care, guidance, safety, love for ourselves and love for other women. We just want each other to be strong and know that we are important and deserve to have trustworthy, deep, loving and meaningful relationships and never to settle for less than we are worth.

K0rla · 2021-03-22T20:55:17+00:00

I think we’re collectively so used to women not having a voice and being talked over that, even as women, we feel attacked when other women have tight rules or boundaries. This includes even feminist spaces.

There are a lot of different women participating here, many different standards and opinions, and we don’t have to all agree. What i value most about this community is the sorority and the true support users show to each other. I am not even in the dating scene (I’m in a relationship) and I’m happy to participate here.

Montanegro · 2021-03-22T20:05:47+00:00

If you don’t like it why stay? Just take what you need and go. You can cater what you need for your own needs for your own standards.

lillylilacladybug · 2021-03-22T18:50:13+00:00

Can I just say that as a newbie I find this sub to be the safest on Reddit I’ve encountered so far. And I’ve been on Reddit almost two years. But there’s such a culture of sex on Reddit that for these past two years I’ve kinda felt like an outsider. I’m a recovering sex addict and while I find a lot of escape in Reddit sometimes it could be dangerous for me because the blatant sex everywhere could trigger me. And also I just felt bad. I wanted to believe I was worth more than the one night stand dead beat no job having losers I was running into but felt like my standards were too high and heck everyone has sex all the time so you’re fine. But then I come on here and I read about women supporting other women to be our best selves and maintain our standards and that that’s all ok and it’s just so refreshing. So yea just thanks for the community and trying to keep out the negative and contradictory messages.

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-03-22T23:39:57+00:00

We don't care if you went on a super awesome field date one time.

🤣😂🤣

CynicalSucculent · 2021-03-22T23:45:10+00:00

Proposed with an onion ring 😂😂😂

Protoetype · 2021-03-22T23:59:15+00:00

We are not allowed to be angry at men in open society even when that anger is warranted, women are made to take abuse and shut up. I'm so sick of it.

fictionalturtle · 2021-03-22T20:46:57+00:00

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emptiness1017 · 2021-03-22T20:57:19+00:00

Fuck the patriarch !!!

XMochiixMochiiX · 2021-03-22T21:22:15+00:00

I think it's also important to note that you can take advice you like from this sub and leave what you don't prefer. Everyone is different and that's great! As long as you remember to have your own opinions, rules and boundaries your doing just fine!

akashyaboa · 2021-03-22T22:19:39+00:00

Also there is no reason to approach a new sub with a closed mind.

When I first came here and read some stuff, mind you because of your negative publicity on other subs, I thought "y'all, these ladies are ruthless, I could never." And then I was like "why could I never?" Why are we socialized to believe that women owe their time but also THEIR FCKING BODIES to someone? This thought just exploded my brain. I was always told by my parents "you'll teach him to treat you right". I'll never forget how I finally replied that I don't owe anyone an education? I'm not a therapist. Why is it my responsibility to teach someone to give basic respect to women. My own mother told me it's fine that some dude refuses to call me by my name.

I was going crazy with this bs. But thanks to FDS, I finally understood that I'm not the problem. It's just everyone is so brainwashed to believe that women are a commodity that all men have a right to that not thinking like that makes you the weird one.

But just because you don't want to face this doesn't mean this place is bad, it's just that it's not a place for everyone. If these rules are too much for you, apply your own rules. The mods aren't going to come knocking at your door for failing to uphold your standards (also when you start doing that I'd like to sign up. I would love to have a life coach lmao).

ShegoGreen · 2021-03-23T00:25:54+00:00

"We don't care if you feel bad for mentally ill ugly broke dudes. Pussy ain't charity."

So true. We don't owe our priceless bodies to anyone just because we "should" feel bad for them. That's called gaslighting and it's not going to work. I'm also not in the business of playing build-a-man workshop.

NoNefariousness5137 · 2021-03-23T02:37:45+00:00

I. Love. FDS.

Been:

-Working FDS talking points into discussion with my therapist. She got real quiet then told me I was right, then apologized.

-Working subtle FDS into other online forums of which I am a part. It's so satisfying to state a polite, factual point and watch the scrotes self-implode.

You guys keep it real and are the best. Ever.

sarahbae03 · 2021-03-22T19:30:21+00:00

I LOVE that it got harsher as the list went on. Keep up the incredible work mods. This haven would sink without you and your truth.

Dismal-Cranberry · 2021-03-22T20:26:01+00:00

Real Queen energy radiating from this message. Keep the good job sisters!

scrollQueen · 2021-03-22T20:36:01+00:00

I just found this sub and it's a breath of fresh air! Tell 'em sis, we ain't changing!

ro0ibos2 · 2021-03-22T19:11:42+00:00

I mean, I don’t agree with every post and every comment. But so what? I’m mainly here because I like the reminders about setting boundaries and not putting up with disrespect.

lilithblackcherry · 2021-03-22T20:35:42+00:00

Right on. I've been lurking for awhile on FDS (found it because some other sub was bashing FDS lmao), and initially I was put off by some of the rules i.e. men should pay for the date because I'm a FeMiNist

But then I reflected on my own dating experiences and found that anytime I tried to ask the man out or offer 50/50, the relationship would sour. And I was leaving out such an easy test for a personality trait that I desire, which is generosity. It struck me that a man who won't even pay for a 20 dollar meal for me is unlikely to invest any of his time or energy into my well being.

Gradually I figured out FDS was right and I made this alt just to post here lol.

onceuponasea · 2021-03-22T19:36:52+00:00

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Beginning_Note_21 · 2021-03-22T20:12:02+00:00

I haven’t seen this post yet and can I just get an AMEN.

Where was this community a decade ago when I was making all the wrong choices? I am so grateful to have this space now to never make those same mistakes again

2021-03-22T21:44:08+00:00

When is the next FDS podcast?! I need this energy in my life and I love it!! Thank you all for being YOU!

NoSurprise7196 · 2021-03-22T22:36:37+00:00

Internalized misogyny needs self awareness. Don’t blame us, look at yourselves trad wives. Just move on we don’t need to convince you of our learned experiences.

BabyGothQ · 2021-03-23T03:20:47+00:00

People who come to this sub have a real big issue with discernment. They think that because we have “rules” that we’re man hating, gold digging, hypocritical prudes. When the handbook is there as a guide.

How in the hell would the handbook work, to the T, for every woman on the planet? Read it all the way through and take what works for you. It’s not that difficult. Discernment.

waddamelone · 2021-03-22T20:58:59+00:00

This message would’ve definitely hurt me if I was a pickme. Good thing I’m not. And let’s hope that the pickme’s who read this and feel some type of way, will do something with that feeling and this information.

butteryrum · 2021-03-23T04:51:22+00:00

We don't care if you feel bad for mentally ill ugly broke dudes. Pussy ain't charity. If you wanna jack off incels for free, go right ahead but this isn't the place to spread that gospel.

I'm dead. 😂😂

DieIsaac · 2021-03-23T10:35:25+00:00

Talked with a good male friend of mine about dating. Told him that i only accept dinner dates where the man has to pay.

He was like "why? Not every guy would do this." - " yes you are right but i only date guys who DO it"

I dont care about your opinion when it comes to my dating strategies! They are mine. They work for me and if a guy dont like them i dont care

LilithWon · 2021-03-23T03:01:10+00:00

thanks so much for providing this space for us and protecting it so fiercely. you have no idea how grateful i am for FDS.

^{but on the real... are mlms really getting pushed here?}

electroloop · 2021-03-22T19:45:16+00:00

yOu ArE eXcLuSiOnArY! tHiS iS a cULt!

AutoModerator · 2021-03-22T18:25:33+00:00

NOTE: This sub does NOT support the commercial porn industry, as it is an institution that promotes and normalizes sexual aggression, incest, pedophilia, violence, racism, degradation, low sexual satisfaction, and objectification of women and girls, many of whom have been drugged, raped, misled, trafficked and otherwise coerced to appear on film.

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havingababypenguin · 2021-03-22T19:10:01+00:00

There's some things in the handbook that I don't believe. Guess what?!? NO ONE WILL HERE EVER KNOW. I don't need to give you lot my reasons; and I love that this is a place that promotes woman having standards! If you're secure in your standards you don't have to explain them to anyone else.

2021-03-22T22:27:51+00:00

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rsoko2 · 2021-03-23T01:18:30+00:00

I honestly don't agree with everything posted in this sub and that's ok. I agree with the overlying philosophy so I'm ok with having different viewpoints or standards and still tuning in.

I really don't understand why it gets so much hate.

PollyannaPenny · 2021-03-23T01:20:58+00:00

Sadly, because this is a female sub on Reddit, entitled scrotes believe it has an obligation to be inclusive of everybody (including people who represent everything this community is against). Scrotes and pickmeishas believe that females on subs like this exist to play nanny to others and tell them how valid and wonderful they are. And they get butthurt when we say "no".

I'm glad this sub is holding firm to its values. There are countless subs where people can go if they want validation for their poly/BDSM/OnlyFans lifestyle. They don't need to get it here

2021-03-22T19:12:04+00:00

Um...I freaking love this sub.

TheFinalGirl_21 · 2021-03-23T02:42:53+00:00

I don’t agree with everything I see here, either, but I usually either avoid the topic or politely express a difference in opinion. I notice the courtesy is not always being returned. I’ve had to block/report several ladies on here lately for unnecessarily hostile and antagonistic replies to somewhat innocuous comments.

It’s very disappointing to be addressed that way by women in what is supposed to be a safe place for us on a platform that is already pretty hostile towards its female users.

2021-03-22T20:34:00+00:00

I'm here for this!

PinkBlair99 · 2021-03-23T02:10:08+00:00

This needs a beat.

Apricot_Ibex · 2021-03-23T02:11:53+00:00

I’m married and I love coming here! I know I’m certainly not alone in that. It’s a place where we can unapologetically tell the truth about misogyny. I love spreading the word to other women and uplifting my friends! FDS is saying what I’ve been thinking on my own for years- what you’re not allowed to say on the rest of Reddit because this is the only sub where women are allowed to have boundaries.

And absolutely, I would NEVER want to be married except to a HVM...if I hadn’t met one, or if he suddenly became abusive, I would GLADLY live alone in peace! We only want what any self-respecting human being wants!

Pasdepromesses · 2021-03-22T18:54:31+00:00

Hear hear 🙌🏼

AutoModerator · 2021-03-22T18:25:33+00:00

NOTE: Please refer to the FDS Handbook for more discussion on why FDS does not support BDSM or other abuse-themed kinks and what kinds of men gravitate toward abuse kinks.

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islandgirl_94 · 2021-03-22T20:27:09+00:00

places crown on your head well said

Summerisle7 · 2021-03-22T21:48:04+00:00

I could weep with happiness reading this

pickadaisy · 2021-03-23T00:31:44+00:00

I LOVE THIS.

Aggressive_Birthday4 · 2021-03-22T19:21:41+00:00

Right?! It doesn’t matter if whoever is happy with being a band maid/splitting bills 50-50/a SAHM with no financial security like ok cool good for you but no one cares, there’s no need to try to come in this community and try to debate with people. Like live your life, why do you care what we do in here?

WornTheTshirt73 · 2021-03-22T20:22:15+00:00

We’ll be here for you at FDS when that BDSM, SAHM, sex worker, porn loving, cool chick persona wears thin and it all goes wrong ..... and it will

Bubbysparks · 2021-03-22T20:33:03+00:00

I agree with literally everything except the tiny penis thing. I've mentioned it before but no one commented. I become furious when guys badmouth an imperfect female body part, so I really don't like talking negatively about small penises. Body image stuff is hard. Right?

EDIT: I truly am hoping for feedback on this. I love this sub. I just want to know whats up with the tiny penis thing.

NeurologyDivergent · 2021-03-22T19:26:29+00:00

This is so satisfying to read.

AutoModerator · 2021-03-22T18:25:33+00:00

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sacchilax · 2021-03-22T20:47:39+00:00

🗣 PERIODT!!

2021-03-22T21:33:28+00:00

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MomoKun999 · 2021-03-23T02:04:04+00:00

I love this so much, I need to make this into a poster and put it up by my door,

MismatchedEyeliner · 2021-03-22T19:38:32+00:00

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WittyImprovement · 2021-03-23T00:58:02+00:00

I honestly like this sub. I don't see eye to eye with EVERYTHING that is posted on here but I have found some advice to be very useful and I do see myself using those parts when I'm dating in the future.

Also, literally everything that I've read about this sub on other subreddits such as r/ unpopularopinion and r/ changemyview has proven to be false based on my experience of being subscribed to FDS for the last few months. They say that everyone on FDS are misandrists who believe men are subhuman. This is obviously not the case as some women here are in relationships with or married to high value men and also the fact that 'dating' is in the title of the subreddit's name. They also say that the women of FDS are gold-diggers who just want a subservient husband with no personality. I'm pretty sure no woman in this sub would find a bland guy with no personality as attractive. FDS is also always preaching how important it is for women to have careers and be financially independent, what part of this equates to being a gold-digger?

The men who criticize this sub need to get over the fact that they don't meet every woman's standards. The women who criticize this sub either need to learn to be secure in their own relationship or end it. Anyone who goes out of their way to post about how much they hate FDS straight up reeks of insecurity

AutoModerator · 2021-03-24T07:22:17+00:00

NOTE: Please refer to the FDS Handbook for more discussion on why FDS does not support BDSM or other abuse-themed kinks and what kinds of men gravitate toward abuse kinks.

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