"A lot of men are not desirable." Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-09-06T21:00:43+00:00

"A lot of men are not desirable."

Can't say I disagree. I would also add that a lot of women are also not particularly desirable themselves. There are way too many selfish, shitty, and immature adults out there.

odd_cloud · 2023-09-06T22:26:33+00:00

I agree a lot of men are not desirable. I don’t agree with the reasoning.

Emotional intelligence has nothing to do with it. When I hear about dating problems of women, they often say that they meet a guy, but he’s too immature for relationships. But they do meet these men, have dates and sutuationships and relationships with them. Which means these men are desirable.

A lot of men are not desirable because they are short, not handsome or earn too little.

resultsmatter1 · 2023-09-06T21:37:22+00:00

Agree - but the flip side of this is women are just as broken and undatable and yet because of dating apps have an extremely inflated sense of value.

Most women, like most men, don’t bring anything to a relationship other than their private parts but society has made that acceptable and okay.

For one gender it’s empowerment, for the other, it’s a call to improve themselves. One of the great emerging injustices of our time.

2023-09-06T20:34:15+00:00

I mean i think a lot of guys are better off than they may believe based on the hate they get online/comparison on socials/lack of perceived success. Selfishly I hope it’s true because that means I’m top tier.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-09-06T20:36:40+00:00

I agree, all of that is true. A lot of women are not desirable either tho. I don’t think women have that much more emotional intelligence compared to men. Most of them are overweight and obese too.

TopNYJeweler · 2023-09-06T21:04:20+00:00

Yes, but not necessarily because men are objectively uglier or worse than women. Women are pickier and women usually like men that other women like, so this create a very niche market that only benefit some men at any given generation.

See what an attractive man was considered in the 20s or 30s. It was not alike the man that we consider attractive today. It was the gentleman, the lord, the prince... today it is the hunk.

Clearly the taste of women of men is not static historically speaking, but socially, at any given time, it is very consistent.

CradleCity · 2023-09-06T20:48:15+00:00

Well, a lot of people want power, it's not just men. There's a reason the word "empowerment" exists in that form. Of course, the more people have power, the more their true nature gets revealed. And some empowered people may not like to confront their flaws or secret desires to oppress others.

But I digress.

As for wants vs. needs, it all depends on how comfortable people would be with how others think of them. A lot of men feel comfortable when they're perceived to be useful (to a family, a community, etc.), when people come to them for help. It's a form of subtle leverage.

Needs tend to put people at a disadvantage point. So, it's understandable women don't want to express (or even feel) they need a man. Because it puts them on a level women ancestors of theirs were at. And it's a scary thought.

That being said, on a society-level, men and women need each other. People need each other to build strong communities to weather the storm. America's hyper-individualism causes the 'needs' to be more visible (and scarier, paradoxically), while the 'wants' are not properly expressed, or badly communicated.

Just my 2 cents, apologies if my English is not clear, since I'm not a native speaker.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2023-09-07T05:28:45+00:00

Where are the women who have emotional intelligence?

LaTableEstBasse · 2023-09-07T07:02:11+00:00

Society has eliminated the need of cooperation. So only remains attraction.

And guess what, women don't find most men attractive. That's why some men wish to come back to patriarchal societies. They know it's the only way a women can look at them.

Personally I don't wish a return to patriarchy. Men know deeply that they want to be desired, not needed. They want to ignite the same passion and attraction they get from women.

Key-Faithlessness-29 · 2023-09-07T08:51:40+00:00

Women just hate men lmao

schrodingerscat94 · 2023-09-06T22:13:11+00:00

I would say a lot of people, regardless of gender, are not "traditionally desirable" by the modern dating standard - being financially stable, mentally stable and having one or two appealing traits. Very few people hit all the boxes and don't come with any baggage. In today's world, having a partner is not as essential to survival as it was in the past, but it's nonetheless a good advantage to have. I would say most men and women still desire a decent partner. The problem is that people in general have become very "picky" because of all the options they sudden have in the information age. Because of this, neither side feel a strong compelling reason to put in a lot of effort or to "settle" with a decent option. So are a lot of men not desirable? No, they probably aren't by the modern dating standard, but at the same time it's not really the men's fault. It's just that the standard is getting higher and higher by the day. Just like how people are always arguing that the income level is not catching up to inflation, a lot of men are not catching up to the dating standard. Should men try to catch up to the standard? Absolutely because that gives you a competitive edge over the others. Should women be more sympathetic to men's frustration and more importantly, take some pressure off them by being taking more initiatives and such and be less demanding? Absolutely. You see, being desirable or not is fluid. It's not a static thing that cannot change. People can totally become more desirable if they work towards it. First step is to recognize what makes you desirable, or not.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-09-07T00:09:10+00:00

Sometimes it is also useful to look at things using another lens. Let's try the 10,000 feet in the air one. Unless we discover some radical new social technology, a competitive and healthy society needs a certain heterosexual pairing rate. It needs stable families to raise well-adjusted children, with male and female role models. You also cannot have too many men with no intimate relationships with women and no hope of having them. Historically, this has been very bad and is called Young Male Syndrome. Such men are disruptive and unproductive. Modern technology has found a way to make them less of the former and more of the latter, but this may only work until a point. What the 'tolerable' limit of incels is is hard to say, but I'd rather not explore these limits.

I agree that due to female sexual selectivity and greater male variability (the top, right tailed males exceed females; but the bottom, left tail males are really fucking bad) it is natural for there to be a much larger group of undesirable, unmarrigeable, even unfuckable men at the bottom than women. I'm not going to casually judge all history given a very different environment, but circumstances did conspire to perhaps artificially limit the number of these untouchable caste males in the past, with women making an inordinate erotic sacrifice to enable this dynamic.

I do not want to do this again. Circumstances have changed. Women are much freer to choose based on desire rather than existential need. This is, in and of itself, potentially a great thing. There will be a cost in such an environment, the number of untouchable men will probably rise. But a modern society can likely tolerate a higher number of such men than was historically the case. But there will still be a limit. I'm an optimist that with the right cultural environment, women are not hardwired to be SO sexually selective that it is impossible to keep incel numbers to a tolerable basis while mating on a more voluntary basis. But this also means doing what we can. We must avoid artificially inflating women's sexual selectivity past what it must be, while also helping men to perform as well as they can and be as attractive to women as possible. As I said, I'm hopeful.

But if society doesn't get its shit together on this score, disaster looms in time.

MarauderSlayer44 · 2023-09-07T13:35:00+00:00

Blah blah blah blah blah blah BLAH. Just more justifications to make those who already suffer, suffer more while we wag our fingers at them. Keep excluding people, telling them they deserve it, and then bitch and moan about how they react to it and about having statistics that reflect an unhealthy and unhappy population. Let me know when the suicide rates lighten up and stop dragging down the aggregate life expectancy. It won’t happen when this is the dominant message to significant minorities of the population though. Whatever 🤷‍♂️. We’re probably at or near the great filter anyway, so who gives af about the long term consequences? Certainly not you guys.

FairyMachine · 2023-09-06T20:56:34+00:00

A lot changes when we actually get to know a guy on a more personal level. Physical attraction toward a man can build or collapse in getting to know him better through conversation and hanging out.

hungrychick404 · 2023-09-06T22:30:09+00:00

Most men are not desirable to me. They have a different understanding of attraction (chasing young women, beauty over connection, transactional vs relational connections, thinking men can get away with things women can’t) than me, most aren’t as socially aware or progressive as women I run into, and a lot of them just don’t put the time into making themselves physically appealing in the way women do. There are some men I like, but I am cautious around most men and find it difficult to date men. Some things I do not think less of them for, I just think we do not align compatibility wise.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-09-06T21:11:50+00:00

the protectors of the community” use this woman’s situation as leverage point to point out why you NEED men

This is a valid point. First I’m not condoning violence. However the context to this situation is important. Presumably he’s talking about the woman who got ‘bricked’. As someone when younger used to fight a fair bit, you learn fairly quickly, the seriousness of escalating things to violence. Coupled with coming from a place where ‘the price of life’ if cheap, you learn fairly early just how important safety is.

That man, that took that brick to that woman, is dangerous. There was though another video of a bystander, who lives in that community, who said that that woman is a troublemaker. That she was looking for trouble, and that she found it. Did she NEED a man then?

Again I’m not condoning violence. In this context, and a common reality for almost all women, is that safety is a pivotal factor. Women may not need men. When shit hits the fan though, capable men are handy to have around.

Godspeed and good luck!

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-09-06T22:16:14+00:00

Not to be a contrarian but I disagree. I think most people are just people. That just means they have limitations. They have limited patience. Limited stamina to listen. Limitless sexual libido. And so on. Excepting these limitations in yourself and then others used to be considered a virtue. But most of us care little for virtue or a relationship with one. We are looking for a consumer product that has more features than than similar products. This tweet is virtue signaling.

RacistsCallMeRacist · 2023-09-07T02:12:23+00:00

Years ago, a poster on Usenet with the mysterious name of "Coats" had a more elaborate scheme that I think was spot-on:

"There are roughly nine major factors that could lead a man to being unable to meet a compatible woman.

The Physical Factors:

1) Disability (Fairly obvious. For example, over 80% of spinal cord injury victims never marry.)

2) Height (Study after study has determined shorter men are less likely to marry, date, etc.)

3) Unattractiveness (Rarely studied outside of empirical observations, but I think we can all agree that an attractive man/boy will have an easier time meeting an acceptable partner. Age and weight go here, especially when wooing someone much younger.)

The Mental Factors:

4) Mental illness, certain personality disorders, autism, or retardation (Again, fairly obvious.)

5) Shyness (Gilmartin, for all his odd beliefs about astrology and so forth, was the first to really examine the small but definately present group of "loveshy" men. Nobody to my knowledge had hitherto considered these cast offs because, I suspect, no one really cared. They were, and remain, essentially well-behaved surplus men.)

6) Misogyny/High Standards: Lumped together for no real reason other then they seemed to occur fairly often as a pair, the first represents any off-putting behavior against women that would drive them away, including that which is common in this forum AND/OR being unable to be attracted to the women in your "league"

The Social Factors:

7) Geography (Fairly obvious: a man who lives in a lumber camp in northern MN, or in the outback, or the highlands, is just not going to run into many women. This was common in the wild west days.)

8) Competence/Income (Women like the well-heeled. Competence, particularly in youth, signals the ability to get income later.)

9) Socialization/Hobbies (This problem would include males who, while not being necessarily misogynistic or shy, spend their time working in an all male-environment and who have "male" hobbies: hiking, camping, wargaming, reading military history, playing computer games.)

What I've seen is that those men who remain alone can cite multiple numbers above as being applicable, whereas a short man or a poor man without some of the other problems is much more likely to connect eventually.

Also, notice that some of these can be fixed, while some cannot. The normal man can fix 7, 8 and 9 with varying degrees of effort. 1, 2 and 3 are fairly constant, with 3 being the most variable. 4 through 6 are the bugbears."

garacus · 2023-09-07T02:40:33+00:00

tbh, I just switch off every time I hear the term 'patriarchy.' The suffix of 'archy' assumes a government by men and for men for starters (it's just not true/not that simple in the 1st world west) and it's clear those who use the term mean it in so many different ways.

Secondly, his point is that some ugly men want a convenient and easy way to get a girlfriend, and then whine about it when they don't get their way? Yeah, the applies to any ugly person, man or woman. This isn't a conspiracy or some 'patriarchy' thing, it's simply ugly people having a harder time securing a partner...

Ok_Individual · 2023-09-07T03:06:41+00:00

I agree that a lot of men are not desirable. But the tweet is crazy. To think the majority of relationships back in our grandparents' time were primarily based on patriarchy is crazy.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2023-09-07T03:20:42+00:00

Agree and also a lot of women are not desirable

And a lot of non-binaries. A lot of people in general.

the_calibre_cat · 2023-09-07T21:14:28+00:00

Definitely agree, as a dude, a ton of men in the past and in my generation are super fucking entitled if not outright misogynistic to a downright creepy and concerning degree. Many more are just woefully uneducated on basic female anatomy or relationship expectations, and are stuck spinning their wheels on outdated concepts of relationships.

Men need a good movement to guide them, but so far every "masculinity guide" just reverts to classic misogyny and sexism and calls it revolutionary just because 40 years ago we decided to give people rights. It's beyond stupid, and an obvious grift, and worse: It is deeply unhelpful.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-09-06T20:43:45+00:00

wtknight · 2023-09-06T20:26:28+00:00

Sure, I agree. But it’s up to men to impress women to make themselves seem desirable. A lot of men are failing at that these days.

justified-anger · 2023-09-06T20:55:06+00:00

Many men don’t actually put effort into their appearance, or even know where to begin to do so, until late 20’s.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-06T23:06:09+00:00

Basically yes. Patriarchy grew a male culture of getting away with shit because you're actually needed.

It's pretty clear a lot of them assume the equivalent of providing a bowl of gruel a day gets them a bangmaid mommy second wage earning helpmeet who keeps their needs and desires in mind at all times and should walk away with nothing but responsibility for the kids if the marriage end.

bluestjuice · 2023-09-06T21:12:01+00:00

The tweet is interesting but the last sentence is honestly more interesting than the first.

Another way to say it might be ‘men need purpose and patriarchy offered one.’ I do think that there’s some real insight there and that purposelessness may be the dominant blight on 21st century life.

lolthankstinder · 2023-09-07T00:54:22+00:00

Imagine two women, A and B. A has a healthy view of men and realistic standards. B is indoctrinated into misandry and showered with empowerment telling her the world is her oyster, men are trash, and the patriarchy is out to get her everywhere.

A enters the dating world and gets swarmed with attention. Since A has healthy views of and realistic standards for men, A has an easy time converting all the attention into what she wants. A doesn't need to complain or brag, she's just happy and complacent, so we don't really hear from A.

B also "dabbles" in the dating world. B, however, "doesn't need men" and thinks that "women are coerced by the patriarchy to settle" which all just translate into unhealthy and unrealistic standards for men under the guise of women's empowerment. She sabotages her chances with a lot of men by pathologizing their natural feelings for things like sexual desire, screeching at men who dare to feel.

Since her physical standards are so high, she inadvertently keeps dating all the attractive guys that were passed up by other women for a reason, and she eagerly broadcasts those reasons to the world because it supports her worldview. Obviously it can't be her, because women are perfect and men are trash! Eventually she decides to just be single and cannot escape the misandristic "men are trash" mindset or it would create cognitive dissonance about her choice to just be single.

So, in summary, I think "a lot of men are not desirable" is symptomatic of women's empowerment boiling over into misandry. Being healthy/realistic gets pathologized as "settling" or some machinations of "the patriarchy".

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-09-07T14:53:32+00:00

I agree. Its not from looks or financial stability though.

Most men are too selfish, too emotionally unintelligent, too mean spirited/disrespectful and lack confliction resolution skills. In most relationships the woman is better at these things and our society conditions women to be this way and let men have leniency for NOT being this way.

Men get someone to split the bills with, a therapist, a maid, a cook, sex whenever they want and can degrade her when she ages and he can let himself go. He is also allowed to be more disrespectful, selfish and emotionally unintelligent. Women dont get any of these things. They are expected to work full time, do the majority of cooking/cleaning/planning, be the default parent, keep up her looks, be perfectly agreeable, sweet, respectful, understanding, compassionate, good listener and communicator while her husband wont be her match in these areas yet "boys will be boys"

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-09-06T20:35:59+00:00

Agreed. There’s a reason a third of men under 30 don’t have sex

Elixier_55555 · 2023-09-06T20:55:30+00:00

That is true...

This is constantly proven by these so called red pilled men who are literally losing their entire minds that women don't need them now like before...

Recently, a woman made a harmless tiktok about being single at 29 with no kids, and some ahole took it so personally and blasted her on Twitter...For her literally just living her life...It literally tears them.down to see a happy woman thats not living according to their expectations...

We're constantly shamed about the "wall" as an excuse to accept mediocre, abusive & gross men in our lives. Or else we'll be "lonely & undesirable" aka the "cat lady"...

Plenty of average men NEED the patriarchy. The need religion to keep women suppressed & under their territories.

Look at everyday life. Apart from intellect, let's look at physical appearances...I walk around and l see 10+ breathtaking women/week. Literally. How many times does this happen with a man?? Its very rare to even meet such a good looking, well kempt, smells amazing guy that literally has you stop in your tracks to look...I have only had it happen less that 10 times in my life...

35073r1ck · 2023-09-07T00:08:47+00:00

The patriarchy doesn’t exist as feminists have convinced everyone. It’s wild how much feminists hate women. They truly believe that for 1000s of years across the entire globe 1/2 of the population brutally subjugated the other half and not until man invented industry were women capable of the strength and intelligence to realize the deceit of those dastardly men. It’s utter insanity. Men show an out group bias in favor of women 3/4 times.

Men have always labored for the benefit of women while women labored for the benefits of men.

MarjieJ98354 · 2023-09-06T21:58:25+00:00

I don't know what men need to do these days; well, I do. I just don't expect men to do anything because they are too busy living their lives on what ifs!

I could have used men in my life. I did have men in my life. I always had a job since I was 14 years old. I thought that having a job would be the start of bringing something to the table. The only thing a job brought me were men pathologically lying about having jobs and these men would lie until they got a foot in the door. Once they got in, it was hard to get rid of them and they blatantly attempted to use me until my survival instincts kicked in, then I didn't give a fuck what I did to get rid of them.

So for me, the only way a man can be desirable is to actually be the provider and protector of the/a family. If men can't do that for women they are absolutely worthless. If I'm paying for everything a man is doing for me, why would I need to fuck him?! Women can be protectors and providers of any children; she only needs to be a man's helpmate, if he's doing his job.

G0dZylla · 2023-09-06T20:54:51+00:00

Muh pAtrIarchY, men bad women good

most zoomers are not using their ability to provide as their selling point to women, so this argument doesn't make any sense, they know their female peers work and earn Money so they aren't bitter and entitled about being a provider. All we know Is that they are struggling and saying the reason Is because they think "women Need men's money" Is Just stupid. The real reason is simple and obvious yet no One admits it

ashpr0ulx · 2023-09-06T20:36:25+00:00

i tend to think there are a good amount of desirable men, personally- but i understand that there’s a good number of women who disagree. there are of course some duds- but overall i’m not mad at the options.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-09-07T00:56:58+00:00

In order of importance and commonness.

1 too immature

2 They have no love for anybody. I would love for themself. No love for their girlfriend just lust. No love for puppies and kittens . No love for their mothers . No love, their friends .

They will not have any love for their children so don’t fuck them.

3 there is nothing interesting about them. They are not fun or funny . They are not witty. They never say anything interesting . They are not smart . They are not observant..

4 they are not wealthy

6 They are not respected by others

7 They have an ugly face

8 they are short

9 They are fat and have no muscle

10 They are mean and not kind

11 They don’t care about me and just want to use me.

Why should men exist if women don’t want them. Men need women more than women need men. Many women are also undesirable.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-09-06T20:29:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

63daddy · 2023-09-06T20:38:57+00:00

We don’t live in a patriarchy, so I definitely disagree with that nonsense.

I do think women overall find less men desirable, but this isn’t a function of some mythical patriarchy. Despite feminist claims of independence, most women still want to “marry up” and be provided for at least in part. For a number of reasons this hypergamous desire is less attainable than ever before. (Advantaging women in education, women owned business advantages, affirmative action for women, inflation, wages and other factors all make it more difficult for men to be providers).

Safinated · 2023-09-06T21:06:42+00:00

It’s true but also not anything new. Lots of men have always been undesirable but were necessary

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-09-06T23:54:59+00:00

I disagree with the whole concept on “working on us” as a collective. My love life is my personal problem not “societies” or Jim down the street

sweetbrown89 · 2023-09-07T04:58:04+00:00

I would say that part of this is men not being socialized to value their appearance as much as women — men could have skincare routines, better grooming, dress well, wear cologne well

Most of these analogues are common topics for women because we’re socialized that our value rests on these

A LOT of men want an attractive woman, but are not attractive themselves — whether or not she’s “a perfect 10” (or delusional), the average woman is still going to be constantly improving her looks

The workforce has evened out — where men could get away with not being attractive by having a good job, they now aren’t needed by women since we’re mostly ~all working — meaning women have improved in career / finances on top of our appearance game

Men have fallen behind because they really only had career / finances and haven’t stepped up their game to include appearance

Women didn’t need to be socialized to improve our career / finances domain — we just did it once men stopped gatekeeping us out of it

Men as a group seem to be struggling to just do their appearance improving — most never do and then wonder why they’re left behind

Women don’t need men for survival as much and now we’re entering the era of true attraction

On a genetic level, maybe it’s best for men to bite the bullet and let only attractive men pass on their Y-chromosomes and have attractive sons — make the pool of average men more attractive to the point where maybe 40% of men are desirable

Maybe women would raise our standards, who knows?

But the answer still remains that men desire women a lot but don’t bring a lot of value to the table for us — not that all women are desirable…but we’re definitely better adapted to existing without the need for a man

retal1ator · 2023-09-07T05:24:29+00:00

A lot of younger men are not desirable.

Women are mature emotionally earlier in life, compared to men. If you pick people in their early 20s you’re absolutely correct: most men at that stage are emotionally under developed and are less desirable in the eyes of women.

Once men fully develop in their late 20s and early 30s things completely flip. Men eventually get quite mature and stable emotionally and intellectually later in life, in my view often more than the average woman.

So I disagree with your general statement. It applies only to specific stages of life and it does not consider how men take more time to fully develop. Later in life I think men become as desirable emotionally if not more than women.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-09-07T20:44:51+00:00

I challenge the ascertain that men want power. I was born, I was a child, I didn't desire nor pursue power. I didn't have an interest in accumulating wealth or dominating other men.

It is women's insatiable lust for men who have power that instills this desire in men who want to be successful with them.

Women are truly disgusting when they desire masculine power.

babazuki · 2023-09-06T21:08:50+00:00

People are more appreciative of things they NEED. Relationships between people are strongest when it's known the other person will be there when you NEED them. Children naturally love their parents because the NEED them to survive. Best friends are people you can count on when you are in NEED.

It a weird fantasy notion that people can form strong loving bonds with each other just because they WANT to but don't NEED to.

For all of human history most women have felt the biological NEED to reproduce at some point in their lives. They NEED a man to do that. During pregnancy they become less capable of taking care of themselves and NEED someone else to help them out. If it's their guy, the really appreciate that he's there for them in their time of NEED. That builds a strong relationship. Women aren't making it up that they love their men in societies where the NEED those men.

We just now live in a privileged society where people can survive with help of social safety nets and not directly NEED other individuals.

Like doesn't it makes sense that if a man were to spend all day feeding his own sexually urges by watching porn, he would weaken his relationship with his SO? Isn't it because he filled one of his own biological NEEDS that his SO usually helps with?

Women fought for their rights to replace men and fill their own NEEDS and created less NEED for men which has made weaker relationships. (Which is fine, good for them) But if you're thinking you can build a strong relationship where you're just liked and optional in someone's life instead of NEEDED, you're just setting yourself up for failure. That ain't gonna last.

(I'm not advocating for society to revert to any pre-women's rights era or saying anything should change, I'm just describing reality as I see it.)

Oli_love90 · 2023-09-06T21:25:01+00:00

I think there are valid points in the second paragraph. It’s true sort of now too - in that you usually need a second income. In many cases that is a man. As a personal anecdote I don’t want to be in a relationship, I’m iffy on how I feel about men and I know that’s gonna suck for me if I ever wanted to make a large purchase like a house.

JupiterJazzX · 2023-09-07T05:50:26+00:00

I agree that most men are not desirable because most men I encounter are blue pilled cucks. If we were in cavemen times these are men that would be too scared to make a spear to hunt a mammoth because they might accidentally cut themselves. Imagine having a daughter in this era of Basic Bitch Man. Good Lord.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-09-06T22:51:54+00:00

Humans need each other. It would be nice if men wouldn't be evil and then we wouldn't need men to save us from other men. Instead of worrying about patriarchy, why don't we work on that?

Dstar538888 · 2023-09-06T23:36:26+00:00

I agree, most men that I come across are pretty mediocre tbh ( both in looks and personality)

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-09-07T13:21:12+00:00

Can't disagree.

The most interesting point is men insisting women need men as protectors. It's always amusing when you ask them from what would they be protecting the women from? The answer is other men, which is why they never want to actually answer that question.

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happy_discus · 2023-09-06T23:29:17+00:00

I disagree somewhat, man men are desirable just not from a physical point of view. Most men/guys I know are cool people with fun personalities, cool hobbies and many of them are very kind just not that physically attractive.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-09-06T23:46:20+00:00

The only part I agree with is the first sentence. A lot of men are not desirable. The rest is complete bs.

It's not surprising that a lot of men aren't desirable. This has always been the case for some subset of men throughout history, but these days those numbers have definitely grown. It's likely due to a number of factors ranging from all the chemicals we consume, cultural decay, gender discrimination, and institutional structures disfavoring boys just to name a few.

The dirth of attractive men isn't even the shocking half of the equation though! The appalling state of women is unheard of in all of history...

TammyMeatToy · 2023-09-07T03:20:52+00:00

How many is "a lot"?

Brandy96Ros · 2023-09-07T06:29:52+00:00

Their personalities are not desirable. Many women give less conventionally attractive guys a chance if they have nice personalities. A lot of unattractive guys also have unattractive personalities.

obviousredflag · 2023-09-07T09:49:15+00:00

Men don't want to be needed, they want to be wanted. Only a man who isn't wanted tries to be needed.

Desirability as long term partners in the sexes is probably normally distributed, with most people being medium desirable and few being very or not very desirable. Everyone on the spectrum is able to find an equally undesirable partner who has no other option than this level of desirability for a long term relationship.

Now, what might be true is that there is a treshold in desirability under which nobody wants to be with that person long term. This threshold is affected by how much a partner is needed or beneficial to ones own life, just by being partnered, no other traits relevant. Right now, there is little that is provided in benefits for just having a partner, so the threshold is pretty high with regards to how desirable a partner needs to be so it is a net benefit to one's life.

70% obesity rate isn't helping the lowest desirability people. The people who would be hard to want when they are slim or fit are probably not making the treshold anymore for when they are obese. Obesity fucks with the normal distribution of desirability in the population. The low desirable get less desirable while the high desirable people get more desirable.

iassureyouimreal · 2023-09-07T11:07:41+00:00

Agreed. Cuz it’s obvious

Iluvalmonds83 · 2023-09-07T12:57:15+00:00

I would disagree. Prolly the minority In this doom and gloom sub but men are desirable and needed in our society.

Sure, times have changed for women to be able to live independently , but that does not make the importance of men in our society redundant as a whole. Aside from being builders and providers, men also play father,leader,protecter, life partner and various other supportive roles.

There is still the desire for a strong intimate romantic connection and creating a family/tribe with a partner that many women have; to generalize our desires towards just what the other person can give us feeds the false narrative that we as humans view relationships as purely transactional.

Also, if your daring pool largely consists of undesirables, that speaks more to your own desirability than the entire opposite sex.

Falling_fruit_234 · 2023-09-07T15:14:49+00:00

yeah, definitely. there's undesirable women too.

but honestly, good guys get taken by 30. When I think about the single guys i know vs single women, there's probably 1 good guy for 8 women.

a lot of guys still believe women exists to take care of them. my brother in law literally never does a single chore. leaves his kid from a previous marriage in my sister in law and mother in law care (he does no parenting) while he vacations with his friends. he's never around for the holidays (too busy hanging out with friends at a sporting event). he's not even rich (maybe makes 100k. probably less. and he pays child support). does no parenting for the kid he has with sil. the few times a year we see them, if his wife is busy, he tells me it's my job to look after his kid because "real men" don't look after their kids. If my sister in law has a business trip, she has to arrange for her parents to look after her kid because he's not going to "babysit."

he's even 10 years older than her too and overweight, but he literally comments on her weight all the time to make sure she doesn't turn into a fatty.

she works full time too and probably makes the same. and my sister in law sticks around probably because of her low self esteem. idk.

she can be a bitch though to everyone, so maybe every normal guy probably ran away and she was left with the bottom of the barrel.

she looks exhausted every time i see her though because it can't be easy to be the only real parent, chef, maid, and work full time while being insulted about her weight if she eats anything that's not a fruit or veggie.

Laziestguy17 · 2023-09-07T15:30:48+00:00

Men are not desirable to women some are just suitable for their personal prefences.If you are not tall and handsome they wont date you because they cant brag about their short and average bf and cant boost their ego. If you are poor they cant take advantage of your money and other resources etc.they also wont date you because why would they bother with an average man when there are plenty providers.

Kizka · 2023-09-07T15:57:57+00:00

I know a lot of decent men but desirable sexually AND romantic/relationship wise? Yeah, I think those are rare due to compatability. Luckily for me I found someone with whom.I already had a good basis to build upon and we invested a lot of work into our relationship. And we had some really shitty times as well. But he was always desirable as a life partner for me. I don't know if I would put in the same work for the majority of men, probably not.

throwaway316stunner · 2023-09-07T18:47:02+00:00

I mean, I’m definitely not desirable…

GrandRub · 2023-09-07T19:33:55+00:00

as a man... i agree very much.

tons of men arent desirable and just want a "traditional life" with a woman thats dependant on them and sees their man as some god given provider.

Operatesinreality · 2023-09-08T08:38:17+00:00

Most people are not desirable or even good.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-09-10T16:49:31+00:00

By objective standards, men have actually become less toxic over the generations. By women’s standards, it’s never enough.

Title	"A lot of men are not desirable." Do you agree or disagree? Why or why not?
Author	Ayaka_Simp_
Upvotes	23
Comments	353
Date	September 6, 2023 8:24 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16buxdy/a_lot_of_men_are_not_desirable_do_you_agree_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-lot-of-men-are-not-desirable-do-you-agree-or.1231350 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231350

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