Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2022-02-10T01:00:12+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

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[–]Bandit1741 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I prefer a gaming nerd over a jock-type über alpha male

Yeah but isn't your type basically a guy with looks and body of chad/alpha male who also games?

The issue is that the guys who accuse you of virtue signaling hear "gamer nerd" and are envisioning a more average looking guy who games not Henry Cavil. They will say the former is lying/ virtue signaling but have no problem believing the latter. So if you change the way you express your opinion to "I prefer gamer nerds but only when they are over 6ft with model/Hollywood tier faces" I can almost garantee you'll never get accused of virtue signaling again.

I don't lose my attraction if my partner cries, for example.

Atlas (god rest her soul/reddit account) had some speil about masculinity points that basically said a man needs to build up enough masculinity points through other means to be able to get away with showing weaknesses/vulnerability. So again you feel that way because you have a Chad partner but most guys are correct to think they shouldn't cry because they don't have enough masculinity points to get a pass on expressing those emotions.

So if you rephrase your opinion to a more accurate "I am ok with my guy crying but only because he is over 6ft with a face and body sculpted by the gods" your days of being accused of virtue signaling will be no more.

I think men can care about n-count all they want, a friend of mine still cheated on the guy she lost her virginity to.

That's always a possibility, women will always have the drive to cheat with a hotter more chadly guy if their current partner isn't chad. The argument is that its more likely with a high n partner. Avoiding high n women is risk mitigation, but nothing completely eliminates that risk especially for non-chads.

[–]funlightmandarin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah but isn't your type basically a guy with looks and body of chad/alpha male who also games?

Isn't everyone's type basically "someone I have stuff in common with and that I also find attractive"?

If the question asked is "do all women only want jocks over gamers" and I answer that honestly, I'm still "virtue signaling" apparantly because I didn't specify down to height and skin color too? It wasn't even part of the question. I mean, get the fuck outta here or write more in-depth questions instead of accusing people of lying, lmao.

because they don't have enough masculinity points to get a pass on expressing those emotions.

No one wants to date an anxious, nervous wreck. When I ask out a guy, I'm expecting the persona I've been interacting with. Not a 180-personality switch. If people want to call them masculinity points, whatever. Feminine women are usually attracted to masculine men that act in a masculine manner and vice versa.

The whole argument seems to be "you only say that because it's Chad". Didn't know I wasn't allowed to answer because it apparantly doesn't count if it's Chad because reasons.

[–]Bandit1741 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm not accusing you of virtue signaling, I'm just explaining why other people do. Men who are Henry Cavil level of attractive are rare even among the general population but even more so among gamer/nerds. So when a girl says she likes gamer nerds yeah a lot of guys are envisioning a average or even below average looking guy rather than Chad.

My point is basically, if you are annoyed by being accused of virtue signaling then provide the extra context that clears up the confusion. If you are unwilling to do that because its beneath you or you think they should all just assume you're only talking about Chad Gamers then fine, that is your right but you're going to continue to be accused of virtue signaling.

...and again, not by me. I may accuse you of other things but never virtue signaling 😇

I mean, get the fuck outta here or write more in-depth questions instead of accusing people of lying, lmao.

did some kid steal your icecream? I know how that feels, but don't let it ruin your day. Trust me, its not worth it.

No one wants to date an anxious, nervous wreck. When I ask out a guy, I'm expecting the persona I've been interacting with. Not a 180-personality switch. If people want to call them masculinity points, whatever. Feminine women are usually attracted to masculine men that act in a masculine manner and vice versa.

Not really what I meant. I mean, non chad cries ocassionally = not ok chad cries ocassionally = ok

No where did I specify 180 personality switches or anxious wrecks.

Also masculinity points wasn't really my idea, was just copying from atlas.

The whole argument seems to be "you only say that because it's Chad". Didn't know I wasn't allowed to answer because it apparantly doesn't count if it's Chad because reasons.

Explain how I am supposedly implying you aren't allowed to answer?

[–]funlightmandarin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bandit1741 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I just don't see how it's my job to fix OPs stereotypes about gamer nerds. They don't have to look like slobby, basement-dwelling, cheeto-stained fatties,

They don't even have to be cheetos stained fatties. Even average looking nerds wouldn't meet the criteria either. It's not your job to do anything but if you want to reduce the frequency of misunderstanding, clarifying that only Chad nerds are desired will go a long way. Plus its always nice to have a woman aknowledge we are correct on them only wanting Chad.

and usually I outnerd and outgame them anyways.

If you're as hot and good at gaming as you say you are, maybe you should give Twitch streaming a try. It can be quite lucrative.

Lactose-intolerant, unfortunately.

Well at least you don't have to experience getting your ice cream stolen.

Did I say you were implying it anywhere?

In the part I quoted: "Didn't know I wasn't allowed to answer because it apparantly doesn't count if it's Chad because reasons"

They're not looking for answers, they just want their confirmation bias confirmed.

The women here do the exact same thing.

and the guys are mostly right on this. Y'all want a guy that is over 6ft with fit/athletic physique and model tier face. At the end of the day, the % of jocks that meet that criteria will be significantly larger than the % of gamer/nerds that meet that criteria. Sure there are some gamer/nerds that will meet it too but sports selects more for the desirable traits women want than gaming does so effectively women will end up preferring more jocks than nerds. Do you actually disagree with this?

[–]funlightmandarin1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you're as hot and good at gaming as you say you are, maybe you should give Twitch streaming a try. It can be quite lucrative.

I've considered it, but alas, I think I'm too introverted for it. All my social media is private, and I don't want people all up in my shit.

In the part I quoted: "Didn't know I wasn't allowed to answer because it apparantly doesn't count if it's Chad because reasons"

What part is aimed at you in this quote? I'm still aiming at the original comment.

so effectively women will end up preferring more jocks than nerds.

The question wasn't whether or not all women preferred jocks over nerds because they statistically have more attractive guys..

It was whether or not all women preferred jocks over nerds, which I answered truthfully. I don't even like sports. Why would I choose a sporty guy in this question, when I have more in common with the nerd?

Whether or not I prefer attractive men over not attractive men wasn't the question.

[–]Bandit1740 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I've considered it, but alas, I think I'm too introverted for it. All my social media is private, and I don't want people all up in my shit.

Most streamers claim they're introverted. You could also go the Vtuber route so you wouldn't even need to show your face and if you have an accent that will help.

What part is aimed at you in this quote? I'm still aiming at the original comment.

Even in the original quote I'm not seeing what implies you aren't allowed to answer.

The question wasn't whether or not all women preferred jocks over nerds because they statistically have more attractive guys..

I guess I'd have to see how the question was actually phrased. Still seems like it's just a minor point of confusion that could be easily fixed by you adding the short clarification "I like nerds but only when they are tall and look like Henry cavill" It gets the point across that you prefer nerds/gamers and clear up any potential confusion.

Is it really not worth adding that extra line to prevent being accused of virtue signaling?

Idk, personally if women kept misinterpreting something I was saying, I would have no problem adding extra clarification if it cleared up the confusion even if I thought it shouldn't be necessary to add it. 😕

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[–]SmurfESmurferson12 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The problem is that they a) don’t understand a traditional lifestyle and b) in many cases, aren’t up to it

A traditional relationship means he loses a big part of “say so” in the home, family, and social spheres

That’s not to say that if he has a strong preference for or against something, she won’t go with it. She absolutely will. But ultimately, running the home and family/social spheres is her domain. He’s an afterthought to her daily choices on raising the kids, daily choices, household management and the FSM. Up to and including giving her almost all of his check so she can pay the bills, grocery shop, pay the household help, etc

In return, he runs his career and hobbies without her interference, and gets catered to when he is home

The guys here cosplay a traditional relationship, but it bears no similarity to reality

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[–]WilliamWyattD5 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sure, but to be fair, if you want to encourage men to engage with the best form of the female argument, it is a good idea to ignore the weaker forms of the male argument.

(I'm using female and male pretty loosely here, as neither is strictly a gendered argument. Just an argument, really. But you know what I mean.)

But wanting bangmaids and guys having terrible personalities are mostly red herrings IMO. The real issue is that women are indeed hypergamous and more sexually selective than men, at least to some extent. Some level of this is natural and justified, given biology and female reproductive costs.

But at the end of the day, the real argument is about whether the hypergamy and selectivity levels have become too high. Are they higher than what they could be? Or are they at the true levels that biology always had them at, and you can't really lower them without essentially coercing women into mating with men they find somewhat repulsive, creating traumatic sex? And if they cannot be significantly lowered, what will be the impact on society?

[–]figuringMylife1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Fair enough, but you have to put that into a more explicit and coherent argument then. My take, infering as best I can, is that you feel that current levels of female sexual selectivity and hypergamy are greater than men's, but not that much greater. So normally, more men at the bottom would be left out of dating than women, but not so many that it is really a problem.

The real issue is that the above gender differences are being compounded by today's men underperforming historical male norms due to lower levels of effort than normal. This makes women seem more hypergamous and selective than they actually are, and leaves more men sexually disenfranchised. But all men need to do to get things to reasonable levels is try as hard as women, and as men normally have, to be decent and attractive partners.

Would that be something like your argument?

[–]figuringMylife0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks. It is a legitimate argument. One that I actually hope is true.

But I also suspect that we may just be seeing the beginning of unchecked female sexual selectivity and hypergamy. This is not a moral judgment, at core. Yes, I do think some aspects of modern culture--aspects many women lean into--are artificially inflating female selectivity / hypergamy. However, it is unclear to me whether they are so inflating things that it really changes the core narrative that much.

Rather, if you look historically at everything society had to do to make widespread monogamy happen, including the distortions and myths about female sexuality, the economic coercion for women to marry a man and not stay single, etc., then one gets the feeling that the underlying selectivity and hypergamy society was repressing must have been pretty strong.

Thus, as all these measures to ensure a high level of male sexual access have been reduced or eliminated, it is logical to at least fear that women's true biologically-based selectivity and hypergamy will slowly being to manifest themselves again. Cultures and attitudes take time to adjust, so even though many underlying constraints on female selectivity/hypergamy have been eliminated or reduced many decades ago, it would be natural for the full impact of such changes to lag behind.

Thus, it is my fear that in the future women will prove to in fact be highly hypoergamous and sexually selective, and even if we could somehow remove artificial amplifications such as OLD and such, these changes wouldn't really make that much difference. The fear is that if women are not coerced economically into pairing with men, then very high male sexlessness rates are in fact quite natural for women. Rates that, at least by historical standards, tended to lead to extremely bad social problems.

Anyways, that is my fear. Something akin to what you believe is my hope. I'm not sure what I believe, though I think we have to start by imagining what you believe is true. Work for win-win ways to get the genders paired together and to revitalize monogamy again in some form. I'm aghast at men who jump immediately to highly coercive efforts to basically force women to pair with men they are not attracted to. It is much better to see if you can get women attracted to enough men voluntarily. Highly coercive measures would only be justified as a last resort, and only if it could really be shown conclusively that society was going to basically collapse if we didn't do it.

I for one do not want to turn back the clock to women dreading their marriage night, or closing their eyes and thinking of England.

[–]figuringMylife1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's one of the great questions of history. If one believes that getting a civilization up to very high levels of monogamous pairings basically requires a much greater overall erotic sacrifice for women than men, then why was it done? And why were women often very complicit--even leading the charge--in terms of enforcing the rules that made woman have to make such a sacrifice?

Many believe that the answer was that widespread monogamy was simply that essential. It outcompeted every other alternative, and maybe the other alternatives were inherently unstable at large scales even without competitive pressures. So women understood that this sacrifice had to be made.

If the above is true, then it raises the question of whether technology has so changed the rules of the game that we no longer need to do this.

[–]figuringMylife2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]WilliamWyattD5 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Because historically, high levels of male sexlessness are correlated to really bad shit happening. The general consensus is that we moved from polygamy to monogamy precisely because high levels of unpaired males made a society violent, unstable and uncompetitive. Men would start to really compete violently in a winner takes all race for women. Men who could not get women did not properly socialize and were not motivated to excel. And men without a chance at women tended to feel they had nothing to lose, so they would take any chance to burn down society and start the game with a new hand. Couldn't be worse, might be better.

Now, technology is very different. So maybe the old rules do not apply. I'm not advocating policy changes yet. I'm just saying we should monitor the situation carefully and try to understand the causation. It would be really dangerous to just assume that due to higher levels of technology high male sexlessness rates are no longer a danger.

[–]figuringMylife1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Haha If the worst fears turned out to be true, and even with male effort at normal levels, the return of true levels of female hypergamy/selectivity pushed male sexlessness to very high levels, I have no idea what the answer would be. Maybe it just wouldn't matter that much in our new world, for whatever reasons. Or maybe something would need to be done. Not sure if sex dolls are the answer lol (Though, seriously, a lot of male posters talk about high tech AI sexbots being some kind of answer lol)

These things are hard to predict. So many working pieces we do not fully understand. I hope that the recent rises in male sexlessness prove to be for some other reasons unrelated to female sexual selectivity and hypergamy; and thus the levels go back down. Or if they are about changes in women's behavior, maybe the levels kinda find a new stable equilibrium around where they are now, and we can live with that.

And I'm a bachelor for life. Almost got married, but decided I was just LARPing as a normal person and would have made her and myself miserable. Regret putting her though that 5 years when she didn't have time to waste. But I was legitimately deluding myself at the time, too. So it wasn't being mean on purpose.

But yeah, I doubt I could live with any woman or her with me without us wanting to kill each other. One never knows for sure, but it would have to be a pretty atypical woman. And I'm getting old enough that the chances of this happening are slim.

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I see a lot of rape victims get criticized for their actions before an assault.

Maybe your experience is different, but I’ve yet to see a man slut shame a rape victim, and he wasnt just immediately bombarded with hate and humiliation from the feminists. Never. Absolutely have never seen it unless he was in some incel echo chamber, and we all know what happened to r/incels.

And yet, those feminists are making the same comments they try to ruin a man’s life over. Either victim blaming is okay or it’s not. No one gets to cherry pick when victim blaming is okay.

She should be allowed to get drunk.

And legally, Kyle was allowed to have an AR 15 on him and should be allowed to do so as long as he isnt pointing at anything unprovoked.

And does she live in a dangerous part of town in your scenario?

Yes. She works in the area too and has family there, just like Kyle worked in Kenosha and has family there.

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In a legal sense he is not the victim, that's what I meant.

Again, I'm not victim blaming him. He shouldn't have been attacked, and he was within his rights to defend himself under US law.

That doesn't change the fact that I think what he did was fucking stupid. What do you want me to say? "Yes he was totally right to drive hours to another city with a rifle to LARP as a police officer"? Sorry, ain't gonna happen.

It's like if a girl (who is not blackout drunk) is on a night out and goes back to a house with a random group of nefarious guys she just met alone, and then got raped. What she did should have zero effect or influence on the case, does not change her status as a victim whatsoever and should not diminish the crime that was committed. However, I'm going to think that the actions she took were stupid.

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A responsible gun owner doesn't willingly head into violence

The streets shouldnt be violent in the first place had the police did their job. He works in Kenosha, he has family in Kenosha, that’s his 2nd home. People’s homes should not be ravaged by riots in the first place. “Putting yourself in danger” is irrelevant to responsible gun ownership unless Kyle was literally waving it around pointing it at people.

He isn't someone to be admired or praised,

He wouldnt be had psychopaths not slander him and try to get him thrown in jail over DEFENDING HIMSELF. They made him a symbolic martyr of self-defense and the Second Amendment. Had they not been stupid, the Rittenhouse case wouldnt have the relevancy it did.

I can’t believe I have to explain that self-defense is not a crime. I also can’t believe I had to explain to people that they should be more concerned over the violent felons running the streets.

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I think putting yourself in a position to need to defend yourself, especially over someone else's property, is idiotic. Apparently you think that was a good move, but that's not surprising as that is what you've been told to think.

Now, the system can't be set up to make such determinations, nor should it, but just because he was protected by such a system, doesn't mean he is a good example to use or follow in a pro 2A context.

The ignorance is thinking just because he was right to defend himself (he was), and saying so antagonizes the other side (it does), that every opportunity should be taken to do so... Like you have. The truth is, the system worked in spite of his actions and using him as an example sets up the opposition to enact laws that further erode at rights of 2A. That isn't how you win, and since I have a vested interest in winning, it urks me to see people claiming to be pro 2A acting so stupid...

[–]LillthOfBabylon0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think putting yourself in a position

Irrelevant victim blaming. And I don’t care if a woman wore miniskirt at 3 AM in a well-known violent area after leaving a nightclub either. Violent felons need to keep their hands to themselves.

doesn't mean he is a good example to use

Running away from a violent mob and only shooting when they corner him is a good example to use, especially when no one else got shot that didnt get near him.

the system worked in spite of his actions and using him as an example sets up the opposition to enact laws that further erode at rights of 2A.

They hate people who defend themselves and they like criminals, So I don’t care what they think. They also called him a whute supremacist with no proof. They don’t need legitimate reasons to take guns. they won’t make shit up to take them.

just remember, dictators also like taking guns for “legitimate reason”.

That isn't how you win,

It’s more effective than telling people that it should be illegal for them to defend themselves against an angry mob of violent felons.

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Understand that the amount of effort that a man has to put to get women is just categories above what a woman needs to do.

Example:

I have an average looking female friend. She's young and thin but that's it. A solid 6, 7 being generous.

The amount of attention this woman receives is outrageous. 50+ DMs of simps a day, more than 50 new followers on IG after a few hours of putting her account on Tinder.

She's currently fucking a dude that's 6', makes and absurd amount of money and looks like a fucking Hollywood actor.

I'm quite successful with women, but after years of working in the gym, studying, going out, day gaming, etc. I don't have near the same amount of abundance. Like not even close.

And the dudes that are normal... They are fucked. They basically don't have sex in months or years. I'm talking average looking, normal social skills guys.

Edit: Gay gaming = day gaming, weird typo

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Oh yeah. If there is a reason, I got no obvious issues.

Now, even if there is a reason, if you push it too much by having just too many kick ass female combat characters I start to feel you are hitting me over the head with some message about gender in the real world.

The problem with the PC narrative on gender, beyond it ignoring science, is that is so simplified. In real life, gender is complex. Like hypergamy, at least as a generalized female instinct, is real. Women do want to mate with men who are more impressive than the individual woman in some hard to describe way that can be fluid.

So when a girl sees a guy do awesome things and be king of the hill, no problem for anyone. When a girl does it, great. But there is a tension. Who is she gonna mate with? And every guy seeing her feels a bit diminished in the sense that there is a pressure for guys to outdo women in some sense so that guys can get mates. This doesn't mean women and men shouldn't be shown as equals in various ways, but there are tensions. In real life, part of this tension is eased because while men and women are equal overall, men are more variable. There tends o be a lot more right-tailed exceptional performance from men than women, and also left tail. Humans are weird, and complex.

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I get it. I want and like a diverse cast. What I hate is prioritizing diversity over the material. And then doing the diversity in stupid way on top of that. Hopefully, in the future, there will be original material that was created from the ground up to better suit these things.

If like one group of elves is black, or a tribe of dwarves are persian or whatever, great. But if they just throw race around randomly as if it works that way, and nobody even notices who looks like what, that makes no sense. I mean if nobody notices race, then races don't cluster, and very soon everyone is brown. Down with that is they can pull that off. Or create some logical reason why people are of a given color, etc.

But if there is like a single Asian hobbit lol and nobody notices he looks different, wtf?

[–]CatoftheBanals 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

That happens sometimes (Fringilla is supposed to look a little like Yennefer, so making her black is ignoring that book plot point; likewise, making Jaime and Cersei Asian would have nuked the central plot of Game of Thrones), but others it's not that intrusive. I guess with fantasy it's easy to think there can be a lot of variation that is just how that world is, without needing to make it fit Earth's schematics.

More problematic is wanting to create a morally perfect world in fantasy TV (or any TV). One of the more annoying aspects of Game of Thrones was when show-watching non-book-readers were all upset with decisions on the show that were either (a) in the books or (b) didn't fit a 21st-century agenda. Like how they introduced a feisty independent female doctor for one male character to fall for, because us women couldn't appreciate the different aspects of strength in the existing female characters. Or how people got mad at two female characters being crazy, even though (a) most of the male characters were nuts and also (b) craziness was a key point for both those characters. My dudes, I do not pay $19 a month to watch Dany and Sansa pull off their best Angela Merkel and Jacinda Ardern to talk political strategy for the North.

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Well, I have some sympathy for aspects of the Woke agenda. I do believe that media should try to have more racially diverse casting when possible. Gender is more complex, as I do believe in gender roles to some extent. However, I like strong women, as long as they aren't all warrior princesses: the helpless princess being saved by the hero is not ideal either. Homosexuality is also a complex subject, but I feel no need to throw in a gay character every show. I have no time for trans.

But above all, you gotta do your politics, whatever they are, with some sense of realism and a lot of artistic sensibility. Do not look like the whole point of the show is to educate me on shit. And don't just treat race like it is just skin color unless there is some real reason for that in your story. That isn't how people have ever worked.

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“Social media presence” is an online dating proxy for assessing if a man is a normie or not. If he has a social life or not. If he’s a dweeb or not. If he’s a loner or not. If he has friends or not.

Why does this matter to certain women?

if she’s a normie she most likely wants a normie
if she has a social life and values community and support systems, she likely prefers a partner who is similar
if she’s not a dweeb she doesn’t want a dweeb but even if she is a dweeb, all women don’t seem to like dweeb men
if she’s not a loner and values community, her first choice isn’t probably a loner anti-sociable man
if he appears to have friends it probably means he’s not too detrimentally socially awkward which makes him more ideal for her life and more sexually attractive
and so forth and so forth

Again, it’s a proxy. It’s not 1:1 or perfect. But it’s a decent-enough one.

Most guys who “hate all things normie and social media” are usually not aligned with the chick I described above anyway.

I’ve never seen men IRL complain about this. But I can understand if you’re not a sociable man, this proxy is a bit crushing.

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