I never understood this concept when it comes to sex

EulenWatcher · 2022-11-24T06:47:48+00:00

I think it just shows that some women have sex-negative beliefs they’ve internalized even if they have had casual sex. They’re afraid men will think worse of them if they “give it up” too early, so they make men that they want to stick around wait.

What I am really curious about is how many women really do it. It’s not son I’ve ever seen in real life, only on Reddit, but I get that my background is different from a regular Redditor. All these stories about hidden porn or wild days in youth read mostly as cuckold fetish writing.

LadyTarako · 2022-11-24T06:46:37+00:00

I’m a prude. I don’t have sex with any man unless we are serious

tired_hillbilly · 2022-11-24T06:44:59+00:00

It's a prisoner's dilemma. It is smart for an individual woman to do this; she gets to vet relationship-guy much longer without giving up hot sex with fwb-guy. But it backfires if too many women to do this, because like you said many men will be disincentivized from being bf-material.

But with the seemingly-limitless growth of simping, it seems a lot of women will get to have their cake and eat it too.

Available-Ad-9338 · 2022-11-24T13:56:08+00:00

Because, if a man really likes you, he's not going to pump and dump you for having sex with him early.

Plenty of men do this. Men here CONSTANTLY say that "easy women" don't deserve commitment, so don't try to deny it. I have zero sympathy for men who whine about having to wait for sex.

Steakman1 · 2022-11-24T06:47:21+00:00

It hurts more getting used for sex by someone you really liked and were interested in. When there’s a mutual understanding that sex is the only interest in a fwb situation, it’s not as big of a deal if the person decides to find someone else or loses interest. That’s my best understanding of it not being a woman myself.

rft24 · 2022-11-24T07:43:50+00:00

this doesn’t make much sense to me. i’m also confused on what you think women value in relation to sex?

i get wet for the man i put in the husband category, and don’t necessarily put a timer on hookup guy or husband guy. i would say i like husband guy more since i actually wanna spend time with him outside of having sex and actually put thought and care into how i treat him.

how soon i have sex with any of them depends more on what i’m looking for in a partner (or hookup) at the time than anything else.

i’ve never in my life met a man who made my vagina tingle the instant i met/spoke to him tho 😆 there was always some kind of grace period where we’d get to know each other some at least, even if it was just meeting for a hookup.

ime when you have sex doesn’t matter, whether it’s soon or whether you wait.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-11-24T06:45:27+00:00

You don't understand it because it's not a thing. The more attracted I am to a guy the more I want him to be my boyfriend.

Ok-Device1258 · 2022-11-24T06:46:02+00:00

the husband category is just them trying to make the guys that they made wait happy. You really think they want to marry the guy who doesn't make them instantly want to take their clothes off? the guy they had to have sex with the first time they met is who they really want

"I made you wait because I love you" sounds better than "You were just less attractive and now I'm settling for you"

NockerJoe · 2022-11-24T06:46:53+00:00

There are more expectations on man 2. Not only does he have to do a whole lot of other shit in a relationship but everyone else in your life needs to know about him and how its going. A relationship thats short term or designed to go nowhere, or even last only a day or less, is your own business.

Its the difference between your drinking buddies who you'll take shots and do wild shit with vs some friend you've known since you were like 4.

antimetaboleIsntDeep · 2022-11-24T18:20:13+00:00

The ones that do this are just really manipulative. They want to sleep around but know in their heart that men don’t like women that sleep around. So when it comes to time to slow down they just lie and make it seem like they are more chaste than they are.

Tuatara77 · 2022-11-25T00:00:43+00:00

Or maybe there's two kinds of women... ?

CimZim · 2022-11-24T10:05:29+00:00

Just putting out there that;

There are many women who don't have any experience with a "man who makes them wet instantly". I know I don't get aroused for an individual until I love him. The emotional connection is a prerequisite for wanting to jump in bed with him, and that takes weeks if not months to cultivate between the two of you.
Again, speaking for those of us who don't engage in hookups because we don't experience arousal immediately, we aren't "making the guy wait" for shits and giggles. We are both waiting for an emotional attachment to be created by the two of us, so that the physical desire to have sex with him can even occur in the first place. How easy is it for you to have sex with a totally limp dick? It's the same as trying to have sex with a dry vagina.

Now, I will say that there are indeed women who engage in, seek out, and enjoy hookups. Unfortunately I don't have any idea what goes through their minds, and their sexual experiences and modes of desire are completely alien to me. But I thought it was important to point out that a significant minority of women just aren't capable of having hookups because it would be like trying to fuck with a severe whisky dick.

5hakeit0ff · 2022-11-24T07:24:44+00:00

It's all post hoc rationalization for alpha seed beta need. Like you can look at the biochemistry of why sugar and fats feel good but at the end of the day the proof is in the pudding of 80%+ overweight/obesity rates

edgyny · 2022-11-24T11:33:45+00:00

I suppose it might make more sense if you can make sense of why so many guys will sleep with but not make gfs/wives out of easy women.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-11-24T11:42:53+00:00

This can be mainly explained by the fact that there are different kinds of women, some of whom like to wait for sex for a longer time than others.

thisreallyisnotok · 2022-11-24T06:47:04+00:00

Don’t generalize the behavior of insecure women to all women. But perhaps so many women are insecure that it is enough to create a perception like this. But yes women who think they have to withhold sex to make men commit probably have had past relationship trauma or have serious sexist preconceptions that they need to let go of

Men who say that women sleep right away with men they don’t want LTRs with, but make men they want LTRs with wait, are the same men who lie about how much pussy they get.

If a woman just wants a quick bang and doesn’t want a relationship, then there is no point in waiting. Why? If she wants a relationship then waiting may build tension so that things are more intense once you do have sex.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2022-11-24T13:12:40+00:00

I love shit like this, cuz how many posts have there been about how a woman who “gives it up easily” isn’t wife material. So, just to be clear, men want to get laid early and often and will get frustrated if you don’t but also don’t want a woman who is sexually empowered and has a “high n-count” and won’t take her seriously as a partner if she does…

badgersonice · 2022-11-24T12:33:22+00:00

How is it hard to understand? Many men have complimentary strategy: there are women they want to fuck but not have a relationship with (they call them “sluts”), and also women who they want to fuck on a longer time scale and will wait for but only if she doesn’t put out instantly (which would make her a “slut”)

Look, for me there were never any men in category one, so I don’t understand it on an intimate level either. I’ve never been sexually interested in or aroused by a man I have no connection with, and I adamantly don’t want casual sex.

But some men seem to be just as weird and hypocritical: so many men insist on pursuing instant casual sex, but then whine and rend their clothes that the women they meet all have casual sex and aren’t the precious low-n women they want a relationship with!

It baffles me until I remember that a lot of people are very dumb, men included.

northernlights190 · 2022-11-24T15:08:20+00:00

I’ve said this before, but: if someone who is “sex only and nothing more” never calls you again, it doesn’t matter. If someone you really like ghosts you after sex, then it hurts. That creates an added risk. And since you are responsible for your own feelings, you gotta measure when you’re willing to risk it.

You’re right that “if a man really likes you, he’s not going to pump and dump.” That’s super true — I’ve always said that sex can kind of magnify what’s there, so if someone is super into you it will just amplify that.

The problem is you can’t read someone else’s mind — you can’t know if he’s really into you. In my younger years, there were a couple guys who I really liked, in the short time I knew them, and it absolutely seemed they really liked me too — all their words and actions showed it. We had sex. Never heard from them again. It hurt, a lot.

Once upon a time I used to be an advocate for “never wait! If you want to have sex, have sex! Since it just magnifies what’s there, even if he ghosts you the next day, well, now you know he was never into you anyway, so it sorts it all out quick.”

Eventually I had to admit to myself that attitude was just me trying to be cool and “sex-positive,” and that having sex with someone you like and being ghosted after hurt too much, at least for me, to make that approach healthy. I also noticed that my two best relationships came out of situations where we’d not intentionally waited, but due to circumstances had spent a bit longer getting to know each other and locking in our interest in each other before sex.

So now I’m more cautious. I don’t “make” guys wait for months, nothing nearly that long. But since I gotta take care of my own well-being, if I really like a guy I do want to take a minute to gather enough information about his actions to feel more confident that our interest is mutual, before I feel comfortable enough to have sex.

Like I said, it doesn’t need to be too long — in my experience even a week or two quite successfully filters out guys who were just looking for sex.

One final secondary factor: letting sexual tension build for a sec can be both deliciously erotic and fun, and also makes for the most incredible sex when you get there. Turns out, I really like a guy who sees and enjoys that part of it too… there is something very sensual about making a little space to savour the anticipation and growing desire until it absolutely explodes.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-11-24T18:30:43+00:00

I generally avoid sticking around long enough to be put into category 2 (but there have been worthwhile exceptions).

Idk, I mean, sometimes in category 1 you get used for sex. Sometimes they freak out that they slept with someone so fast and go through a laundry list of weird insecure behaviors.

I agree though, regarding not judging a woman for sleeping with you fast. I'm pretty sex-positive. Don't care about N-counts.

However, if a man you really like finds out you made him wait around while other lesser men got it without much effort, it makes sense as to why he would get upset.

because if men who could be good boyfriend/husbands realize that being the "Chad" or "bad boy" get a free pass to sex

Yes and no.

For women who use sex as a means to lock down guys they like, then yes, you'd be correct. Not all, or even most, women do this though.

Most women don't even do casual sex, but of those who do casual sex, a lot are just doing it to meet needs.

If you've ever had a purely physical relationship with someone, you'd realize the stark difference between it and a real relationship, with the relationship being far superior.

y2kjanelle · 2022-11-24T19:51:39+00:00

Well, duh. Historically, women have never ever ever ever benefitted from giving sex away because women are still struggling to value women as people. Men value sex and objectify women as trophies which is the sole only reason that women would ever have to withhold sex.

Let’s say if things changed and men didn’t care about sex to the degree that they are judging women as PEOPLE based on their sex lives. Men didn’t automatically assume women were easy because they were flirty, they didn’t go around calling women nasty slurs because they enjoy sex and didn’t pretend to like women because they wanted sex.

Women wouldn’t withhold. They would have no reason to. They would go after men they liked and would have less of this fear that they’re going to get what men call “pumped and dumped”.

Now I personally think this is stupid and adults that think this way are immature weirdos who make up the large statistics of divorce.

I think that if you truly like and respect someone, how fast you get into sex doesn’t really matter.

But one thing to point out is that sexual relationships and serious relationships do have different standards.

I don’t need to find out soooo much about a guy for a sexual relationship. That’s common sense. There just needs to be mutual attraction and mutual respect. So looks get prioritized obviously.

But for a serious relationship, I may still want sex and stuff, but it’s just not prioritized. I don’t consider it making him wait at all, because I want to have sex with him (duh). But I may take more time or a couple dates to get to know him as a person because that’s my priority.

I think where people get confused is they try to do both at the same time and then it gets seen as making someone wait when you’re just not prioritizing sex because serious relationships require more than that.

But then again, we also do have to consider that out of all sexes and sexual orientations, straight women orgasm the least and straight men care the least about pleasing their partners and making them feel good.

So I think a lot of heterosexual women want to wait to have sex in a serious relationship because if they’re going to have sex with this person only for s long time, this guy needs to actually care about her and her pleasure. This isn’t a guy she can just block and say next, this is someone she’s considering for a while and if he thinks she’s easy, and gives it away (even though ppl are stupid and sex isn’t something you give or take wtf) he’s not going to care about her at all.

Anyways, I would never date any guy who thought like this and reject all of them who say anything remotely close to the things I’ve mentioned. They usually make terrible partners in every aspect.

I also don’t think like this and respect my hook ups just as much as I would respect my serious partner. I respect people as people.

But for relationships, I may take some more time before sex just to prioritize getting to know this guy. But either way, sex comes somewhat early because I do want to see that intimate connection and have sexual compatibility because my sex drive is high. I need to know he can handle that while also being a great person and partner in other ways.

AGalWithThoughts · 2022-11-24T11:22:55+00:00

We're told guys don't respect us if we put out too soon. Why would I care if a casual hookup respects me? But if it's a guy I want to marry, I'm more willing to wait because we're told men "lose interest" if she gives it up too soon and because I want there to be a genuine connection, not just a physical one.

Reasonable-Scale5710 · 2022-11-24T06:42:38+00:00

For the first man, it’s harder to resist. You say “make wait” as if the woman is simply rewarding the man with it. If there’s a hot guy who is turning her on, she’s gonna have sex for the physical pleasure and she’s not gonna be so interested in everything else in those moments. That’s why it can be just sex with a hot hookup. He makes it hard to wait, and there’s no reason to. There’s a high chance this guy will leave after so it doesn’t matter

For the second guy, she DOES NOT want him to leave. She waits to make sure there’s a connection before having sex with him to lessen that chance. The sex would be more emotional than with the hookup, so it’ll be more sensitive for her.

nemma88 · 2022-11-24T12:48:00+00:00

I don't think this is common. Most men and women sit between these two extremes .

I nearly had nsa sex once, and even then I'd known him for a while just didn't think there was a relationship there. With my partner I was both attracted and saw a relationship.

5eggsEveryday · 2022-11-24T12:57:29+00:00

It's simple beta bucks alpha fucks concept. What's not to understand?

Percentage930 · 2022-11-24T07:42:28+00:00

We are assuming that the second guy doesn't make her pussy tingle. But he may have money or a resource that makes him a suitable long term partner. More likely to be able to take care of the child. We are assuming the first guy is tall and well built probably plays a sport and doesn't have as much money as guy B. She wants the genes of that first guy and the money of the second guy. Alpha fux/beta bux

Without detail of the two men it's hard to tell why a woman is doing what she is doing.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-11-24T12:48:59+00:00

These women you are discussing have Freudian Madonna-Whore complexes.

Where there is desire they cannot love and where there is love they cannot desire.

They give the category 2 guys dead bedrooms.

moosemc · 2022-11-24T13:24:56+00:00

Well...um....men don't always put up with the waiting part. They just move on. After about a month.

How is it that the OP, is unaware of this?

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-11-24T13:52:46+00:00

Most women that make men wait for sex are already religious & looking for a man to build a family with.

Deranged_Loner · 2022-11-24T14:45:33+00:00

Men do about the same.

Women we want to have sex with but not be in a relationship with.

Women we want to have sex with and be in a relationship with.

It makes sense. Maybe Chad/Stacie aren't relationship material but are fucking material.

Cat_Lover259 · 2022-11-24T15:54:39+00:00

Ugh, when will this gender battle end? Everyone on this sub…🤦‍♀️ When will you learn?

Pastakingfifth · 2022-11-24T18:38:08+00:00

The idea is that she invests more emotional energy/time into you because she likes you. Women generally don't value sex too highly so they can have sex with a guy that's decently attractive but they never want to see again. If she likes you she's gonna put more time and strategy into it and not want to just fuck you mindlessly.

It's an unfortunate strategy.

2022-11-24T18:46:53+00:00

It’s just manipulation man. Nothing more. It only means you are not hot enough for them, and imo you should never wait for a non virgin.

shakeandbake8 · 2022-11-24T19:23:00+00:00

Personally I think casual sex and early sex is so common now that I no longer judge a woman for wanting that early so long as we have established a connection. In the past I have been judge mental in that regard and I have passed up some good partners because of my outdated conservative priors.

pyth0ns · 2022-11-24T21:00:23+00:00

Because the woman knows... Especially when the man is RP aware/HVM... That if she witholds the sex, doesn't pander to the man's needs, etc... That this man will be gone in a microsceond to the next women that will do all that and more!

Alpha fucks - Beta Bux is a big term in RP, for this particular reason!

angie-1964 · 2022-11-25T00:58:07+00:00

I think this is a bit of an extreme view. Although, I have had sex w guys pretty quick..who I had no desire for a "relationship " with. Having said that, If a guy is "relationship" material...I want to find out what he is like in the sack pretty quick as well. Basically relationship guy, might wait 3 or 4 dates...and quick bang guy...maybe not so much. Every situation is different.

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2022-11-25T02:54:49+00:00

I'll get allot heat for this, but I am ready...

Women are emotional creatures, not logical ones. They make allot of decisions base on their emotions, especially in dating...

Superannuatedpunk · 2022-11-24T11:18:33+00:00

I love it when weird reddit dorks think they’ve got women’s sexuality all figured out.

I mean - I don’t claim to know much; but I’ve actually spoken to a woman. Unlike this dude.

BoopEverySnoot · 2022-11-24T06:50:07+00:00

I’m not entirely sure this applies to all women, but if it applies to the majority, maybe it’s a security thing or something and wanting an emotional connection with guy #2. When I met my husband, I was very, very attracted to him and didn’t want to wait. With him I felt not only attracted but also secure, which fueled the attraction further. 8 years later I still feel the same way I did at the beginning.

medlabunicorn · 2022-11-24T12:26:52+00:00

First off, a note on human women’s biology. 1)vaginal lubrication is produced at certain times of the month regardless of stimulation. 2)vaginal lubrication is often produced at the thought of sex, regardless of attraction or lack thereof. It is a defensive precaution by the body, as ‘dry’ sex is more likely to lead to tearing and infection. 3)Even when a woman is turned on by a situation, she doesn’t necessarily want to have sex then and there. She can be very turned on by the man she’s dating, but choose not to have sex with him, because she knows that she’ll catch feelings for him even harder if she does, and doesn’t want to cross that bridge until he’s a sure thing. Many men (especially terp men) don’t seem to have this level of impulse control, and want to have sex if they’re turned on and their partner is willing, regardless of the surrounding circumstances.

Most women value relationships more than they value sex. A woman who ‘makes a guy wait’ while she gets to know him is giving him what she considers the most valuable and important part of her: her time, consideration, and attention.

Laurely4u · 2022-11-24T13:52:09+00:00

I have four categories 1. Men who have money like Bill Gates. 2. Men who look like young Arnold Schwarzenegger. 3. Men who have a mind like Stephen Hawking. 4. Men who are famous and well positioned or otherwise good for career or social advancement. Think of Johnny Depp making some calls on behalf of Amber. Each case would be handed separately as far as what I am hoping to get from the situation. Obviously the extreme ultimate porn star super deluxe pussy train would not be immediately revved into high gear prematurely in all of those scenarios. Why is that concept confusing to anyone? Every person you meet is good for whatever they are good for. Let’s imagine I was invited on a date with Vern Troyer “mini me” and I was hoping to go to an A list party where I could be introduced. Well, I might hold out on him for a bit just to see what happens with him picking me up for the party, if there is an actual party of the quality I expect or what happens at the door with me getting into the party, if the people I hope or expect to meet even show up to the party. There is no reason to jump the gun on sucking three inches of micro cock too hastily or anything like that before I see what’s going on as far as me moving forward with my agenda. Yes, I am thinking if things fall through and there is no party there won’t be any pussy either. Basically your comment which sound vaguely like a complaint to the extent that a three foot tall dwarf, a geeky aging nerd, or a cripple in a wheelchair will not be sexually comparable to a professional competitive bodybuilder. Okay, so some men aren’t that. This explains why I won’t treat each situation exactly the same. Some men wouldn’t get even one single front end good faith advance pussy sample; just straight to the prenup, straight to the diamond seller; hurry up with my gas card and an extra set of car keys. Unless or until I move into the million dollar mansion there will be no sex. If we are going to have another date ever, make sure it’s a high end restaurant only. All sex would be on the basis of finance before romance. In a few cases I was thinking the relationship between sex and money can really be weaponized. So, if I am going to spend the next hour of my time seated in front of a dinner plate listening to this clown, this conversation may as well happen at an overpriced location which is highly worth while for me. I specifically recall a date I went on with an insanely wealthy man with a very famous last name everyone would recognize but he was also a pathetic drug addict. He fit into this last category. I don’t normally date junkies covered with needle tracks except to Michelin star restaurants. I don’t plan to ever fuck them unless or until some high end residential real estate is transferred jointly into my name. The reason why a woman might decide this could be the gentleman’s undesirable poor looks but it could be various other personal reasons. If a man had a long history of womanizing but was telling me he is serious this time, I might hold out on sex because I am trying not to be next in his lineup. If a man was known to have made any disparaging comments about sluts and whores I would make him wait extra long because I don’t want to diminish myself in his moral judgment. The people who cannot see these case differences are probably in denial about their below average looks and serious personality flaws. The typical incel rhetoric centers in a theoretical hierarchy of jacked and hung Chads with prey eyes and a cleft chin but I think personality or even living situation plays a role as well. For example have dated a veteran with PTSD or a doctor suffering empathy fatigue that had personality problems which made me think it’s not in my self interests to comp out any pussy too prematurely. In one case I held out on sex because some guy I was dating had a brother released on parole who was sleeping on his couch. I was waiting for his brother to find a job and move out before I took any further steps forward. There is no hurry to start anything sexual with him until I see how soon his felon brother is going to be leaving. I don’t ever want to live in a household with additional jobless adult family members. Living together as a couple means each person gives 110% to build a future together. This isn’t compatible with various additional unemployed fuck up family members sleeping on the couch and siphoning off family resources, making noise or getting into your food, using your stuff, leaving messes in the kitchen or bathroom or generally occupying space. So, what’s the rush to pussy if his brother doesn’t have a job yet? I am thinking the brother maybe won’t find work quickly or easily or maybe when he does it won’t pay enough money for him to move to an apartment. Would I help my cause to suck a cock today when some parasitic scrounge still lives in the living room? No, the pussy train can roll when the coast is clear for me to move in.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-11-24T15:06:49+00:00

I put everyone in category 2. But i understand women who separate them.

Here is why, and it’s based in patriarchy/misogny.

Men/society/even other women view a woman who sleeps around as lower value. “Loose woman”. So why would she want to present herself as a low value woman to the man she wants to marry…?

BitsAndBobs304 · 2022-11-24T16:22:15+00:00

"you're a high value man, i'm going to reward you by making things worse for you!"

Lil_Vix92 · 2022-11-24T20:05:14+00:00

You do realise that men think like this too right? That if a woman is willing to f*ck you on the first date then she isn’t marriage material, but if she makes you wait then she is a keeper, and the reason women act like this when it comes to sex is because men think like that?

ladychain101 · 2022-11-25T01:17:07+00:00

As a woman, just because I’m instantly attracted to someone doesn’t mean I wanna fuck right then and there. Every man will wait, regardless of how attractive he is

EventSea8621 · 2022-11-24T09:23:44+00:00

meme gender is your answer anon

ex_red_black_piller · 2022-11-24T08:39:47+00:00

Because they are not as attracted to man #2, and they have ulterior motives when dating him.

Women play games with the bf material guy, not with the hot casual sex guy. Then these women gaslight us into thinking they care more about the bf guy. Yeah right.

Also, the man #1 probably has a lot of options. If she plays games, he will simply next her to move onto someone who IS willing to fuck him.

Skylarias · 2022-11-24T10:08:51+00:00

For me, man #1 and man #2 are the same man.

Not every man can meet #2 criteria. So, #1 is only good for sex. I don't do hookups so there is no point for me to interact with man #1 unless we are otherwise friends. And if we are friends, I'm not sleeping with him. I suppose he could change and get into category #2. And then I would sleep with him. If he is relationship material.

NewWayNow · 2022-11-24T12:18:04+00:00

Where are these women who make men wait? I don’t see women making men wait for weeks or months, regardless of the type of relationship. Maybe that happens when people are like 19 years old. But for most of the dating market nowadays, things move really quickly.

myopicdreams · 2022-11-25T00:43:19+00:00

I wouldn’t want to be with any man that doesn’t want to wait to have sex until it’s a “hell yes!” Or who is so insecure they want to know how many dates it was for them v someone else— hell, I’ve never had a man ask any such question. So weird! People are not interchangeable and I am so glad to have never dated guys who think they are.

BurroughsJunky · 2022-11-24T12:06:04+00:00

Anyone (girls) saying this is not true are lying

It’s simple: they want to appear to be non-slut wife material to the man they like, and for the fuck boy they see no future with, they have no incentive to wait so they fuck him that night.

Such behavior may (often) is judged by the nice guy who she really likes- so she postures as a “lady” and attempts to appear (fake often) that they are are the highest form of woman on the food chain….

The virginal good girl HE CAN BRING HOME TO MOM

That’s why

My ex was promiscuous before me

She made me wait a month for a KISS… then outside a bar on our 4th date we made out and went home and had mind blowing sex

Why?

We developed a connection over that month

It was special

Earlier…. Would not have been…

//

Marty-the-monkey · 2022-11-24T07:30:55+00:00

I don't agree with the fundamental setup of your argument, however to answer the question in a bit broader terms: it's a matter of intimacy.

Now full disclaimer, I'm not a woman, nor do I identify as one. Cisgender straight man here.

However the 'concept' (even if I disagree with how you describe it) is a somewhat universal one in terms of human relationships.

Sex and intermacy, while related, aren't interchangeable. What your question boils down to is the exact difference between wanting to have sex with someone and being intimate.

No-Rough-7390 · 2022-11-24T15:05:35+00:00

“I’m not like that”

Personal anti-slut defense being blamed on men.

There’s a quote somewhere that goes like “the only thing women love as much as hot sex with a hot guy is having absolutely no one believe they do”.

Pretty apt.

EDIT: All of the “it’s not a thing” posts make me laugh. For a considerable amount of time I had a decent number of women I was seeing non-exclusively who would basically Uber over after their dinner dates were finished to have some fun. Different ages, backgrounds, careers. All wanted something more serious but were content with the set up. It’s not an abnormal thing and none of the dudes they were having dinner with knew what was going on. So funny to me. Often they would make fun of the dude they just were with. I guess until you’ve seen it replicated it feels like fantasy.

jackedsoon · 2022-11-24T12:25:33+00:00

They also often date man 1. Do you think young women are dating betabuxxes in their prime?

social_mule · 2022-11-24T14:24:38+00:00

Women will often change their stance on the very same issue depending on what benefits her at the moment.

More news at 11.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-11-24T14:48:28+00:00

This is ass backwards modern woman thinking. It makes utterly ZERO sense, and it seems pretty common amongst younger women.

onestH · 2022-11-24T16:10:46+00:00

I’ll just make a quick comment. If a girl doesn’t sleep with a guy a guy should move on — because she did with every guy she found attractive. It is only when girls en masse start demanding commitment, irrespective of age, i.e. at the dawn of a culture change is this rejection a good thing and not personal. I wouldn’t hold my breath, though. I’ve been and conversed with many women but none were capable of independent thought. They’re all infected with the feminism virus, think that men and women should be able to approach sex the same way and cry how life is unfair when men reject them based on their body count. If by some miracle, men start enforcing monogamy —only by men will women change — then husband and lover will converge.

I’m just enjoying sex and single life. Long bus ride made it a long rant.

shakeandbake8 · 2022-11-24T19:21:32+00:00

It’s because of the female internalization of the Madonna whore complex and fear of being judged by that complex in men. She doesn’t want to be written off as a short term only gal by the 2nd guy

John_Oakman · 2022-11-24T07:21:56+00:00

Because humans are more than just base animals, and have higher forms of reasonings, some of this higher form of reasoning manifest itself as goals more than just the immediate physical/sexual gratification.

To the base animalistic reasoning, the waiting part contribute no/minimum value and detracts in the form of time, effort, and resources spent. However in higher forms of reasoning this waiting period contribute significant value in terms of emotional connections and other things that humans seem to need more than other animals.

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-11-24T12:12:48+00:00

This is based of simple female attraction based if there biologically aspect to breed , the next tier of female does not act out of just need they act out of finding the best mate possible ,and a lot of guys have to put themselves in that 2nd tier or third tier of finding a women of integration.

_Remember_me_not_ · 2022-11-24T13:30:29+00:00

Just look at the situation in France, where the situation of cheating by both gender is so bad that they had to make paternity test illegal without the consent of the mother to avoid the social crisis of rampant single mother families.

So, it's not about the women per se that makes this concept the reality for most of them but the incentives associated with it. She can have her fun with the 1st guy and then tie down one of the 2nd guy after she had her fun for a secure retirement where she can boss around the family or get half of the property, alimony and child support after divorce if she gets bored. With sex no longer being a taboo in a free society, and family laws biased against men, this is the prime time for women.

It's better for a woman to follow this path instead of getting left in the streets after getting into series of relationships with the 1st guy group or being stuck in a dissatisfied relationship with the 2nd guy group.

If men could say get all the benefits of divorce, you would see a dramatic rise in divorce rates initiated by men also.

Tldr: It's all about the incentives.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-11-24T16:42:02+00:00

You ask the good questions. Logically, yes, a woman should probably make sex easier for the man that she considers husband/boyfriend material. Except that...the latter man approaches women trying to impress them and show off just how much value he can bring to a relationship. And since women have been brainwashed since an early age that men only value that which they have to work hard for, they go into playing hard to get mode.

This can be easily evidenced by the disdain which men hold for women who go to bed with men after knowing them for an hour. They call them sluts and say they belong to the streets. So why would a woman risk being called that when she can play hard to get and let a man smell her pussy for 5-10 dates before sleeping with him?

Whereas the man who offers no value other than having a good time with her and exchanging orgasms, he is at no danger of costing her anything. Because let's face it. The more men a woman sleeps with, the more her value is diminished (at least that's what society leads us to believe). So she will make it easy for the guy who offers nothing, because she will say "he didn't count, I never got his last name, or we only did anal, or we had a threesome wjth my friend, he doesn't count". But the nice guy who offers a ton of value does count and as such a woman has a very limited number of transactions she can make before her value is considered completely diminished (roughly above an n count of 10). So for this type of man, she needs to make it difficult.

STEMbruski · 2022-11-24T19:04:11+00:00

Women instinctively know high quality men don't want sluts so they try to hide their behavior.

EmptyVisage · 2022-11-24T23:55:42+00:00

If you find someone purely attractive, why would you want to ruin it by getting to know them?

Eden_2002001 · 2022-11-29T19:03:09+00:00

you left out that these men who complain about that are the ones that wants that want sex with women but shame women for having sex with them - especially those Redpill gurus - they want women to respect themselves & wait until marriage but they are not actually willing to wait until marriage.. just like they want pure holy virgin girls but then they call women selfish & egoistic if they don’t sleep with them at the 2nd date - if u calling women dirty, used or say they belong to the streets, comparing them to objects like used cars or worn off shoes you don’t need to wonder why women don’t wanna sleep with u - no woman wants to be viewed as „used goods“ and women will trust you less & the chance to sex gets down to zero bc they are scared you are just gonna call the used later after u get what u wanted and while you’re seen as a player she’s seen as used garbage

weird I never had trouble getting laid bc I don’t shame women for having sex

extraterrestial · 2022-11-24T11:18:15+00:00

In case 2 they are witholding sex until the man is more invested in her. Meaning she is also investing in him as a provider.

Opening_Pattern_301 · 2022-11-24T14:27:41+00:00

Women who are entitled value suckers just like men who are the same, exist, as simple as that

AutoModerator · 2022-11-24T05:21:49+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

BluePearl2020 · 2022-11-24T14:00:46+00:00

That's a risk

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-11-24T14:03:22+00:00

I’m starting to think I should just stop participating the next time this question inevitably comes up again because I’ve honest to god never experienced scenario 1.

Bekiala · 2022-11-24T14:56:48+00:00

I've never heard a woman say this is what she does. I myself have never done casual sex; it sounds horrible. I wouldn't care what the guy looked like, it still sounds terrifying.

Maybe men are more like this.

TempoIndigo · 2022-11-24T15:24:25+00:00

Some women are manipulative and should be avoided like the plague. You may get burnt once or twice or you may find out they’re lying before you invest yourself but you are supposed to always vet the other person

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-11-24T15:40:53+00:00

for me its more like you would like to wait but man #1 pressures you into it and you were raised in a home where you weren't allowed to disappoint people

EvilTribble · 2022-11-24T15:54:05+00:00

no value

The sex has value less than or equal to the man. Lower value guy needs to save up for sex.

Throwing themselves at a guy who is out of their league is cringe pickme strats but you hate women if you criticize some women's stupid choices.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-11-24T18:12:18+00:00

First off, I don’t think this is as common as men here seem to think. But really, it isn’t so hard to understand if you think about it.

The first guy she doesn’t plan to see again or at least doesn’t plan to date. It really doesn’t matter what he’s like beyond how he looks and if he’s good in bed, or what he thinks of her. So she’s going to pick the best looking guy available for the same reason you would pick the best looking woman available for a hookup. Nothing else factors in.

The second guy, she wants to maintain his interest long enough to get him to like her as a person, because sometimes, men lose interest after sex because the chase is over. Or they decide a woman must be “too slutty” for them if she has sex right away, despite the fact that they did it too and must be just as “slutty.” Clearly, none of this is right or fair, it’s pretty sexist and shitty. But that’s how some men are nonetheless, and women have been taught to make them wait in order to keep their interest and seem respectable.

Personally, I do not “make” any guy wait. If he’s pushing for sex way too soon, he’s not it, next. I’m not dangling sex like some kind of a carrot to get some sexist guy to actually like me as a person. But that’s the reasoning behind it.

Bats_are_cuter · 2022-11-24T20:01:18+00:00

The idea that women have divided men into this way is a myth. Men are in two categories - cute and not for me. Within cute there are different types of attraction, but anyone with the right personality could be a goer for either sex or a relationship.

barzbub · 2022-11-24T22:46:56+00:00

It’s like the adult clubs; no alcohol and completely nude and with alcohol topless or pasties 😉

Title	I never understood this concept when it comes to sex
Author	macalph21
Upvotes	74
Comments	584
Date	November 24, 2022 5:21 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z3b8kt/i_never_understood_this_concept_when_it_comes_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/i-never-understood-this-concept-when-it-comes-to.1142075 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142075

Comments