Men love and respect pick mes

anomalocarus · 2026-04-30T18:06:32+00:00

A woman that's pleasant, loves being around him as long as she looks good enough it's no problem.

This isnt what a pick me is. What you're describing is a nice attractive woman.

JadeGrapes · 2026-04-30T19:17:07+00:00

It's a numbers thing. If either gender has hundreds of options throwing themself at you, it's not a precious commodity... and they get dismissive.

Rockstars and Billionaires are plenty dismissive of fans... they don't innately treat each interested woman as a previous gem that deserves time & attention.

A lot of the complaining her is guys wishing they could achieve a level of attractiveness that they had infinite options...

So that they don't have to "try" so hard... which is essentially proving that they aren't innately more kind... they are just managing a scarce resource.

Demasii · 2026-04-30T18:16:26+00:00

Love and respect don’t create “pick mes.”

They’re called that because they aren’t naturally being chosen, so they feel the need to overcompensate.

Otjahe · 2026-04-30T18:38:48+00:00

It would be helpful if you’d define what a pick-me girl is exactly (but without that)

The sort of guy that would prefer a pick-me is probably not the kind of guy a non pick-me girl would want.

I’m a man, but I don’t need a pick-me girl. Some might assume it to be convenient, but having experienced it, it’s really not. It’s more akin to being in a relationship with AI. If I want to spend the rest of my life with my partner, I’d want them to be the most interesting person I know, and if that sounds like a big criteria, flip it around, would it make sense to be together with someone yet find bunch of other people way more interesting?

That’s without mentioning the fact that in my definition of a pick-me, it also includes things like being judgmental, hateful and probably unintelligent.

In short, I wouldn’t respect a pick-me.

leosandlattes · 2026-04-30T18:48:49+00:00

A pick me is a woman who craves male validation at the expense of other women.

The reason pick mes do not get picked is because doing that is actually not pleasant. Plus their need for male validation does not stop once they get a man — they will crave male validation from other men too, which is nasty.

rosephase · 2026-04-30T18:09:01+00:00

People who act like themselves around the people they are dating end up in more compatible relationship. Which is happier for a lot of people.

The issue with creating a personality around getting into a relationship is that once you are in one you don't have a personality any more. And neither you or your partner know who you really are, just what you thought you wanted.

bufferinmylife · 2026-04-30T18:52:40+00:00

Go to r/mensrights and search “what’s up with all these red pill girls?” And read the thread. These men talk the most degrading shit about the women who bend all the way over backwards for them. It’s the saddest thing I’ve witnessed. These women are doing so much for these men that these men would NEVER do for them in return. They just turn around and humiliate the fuck out of them.

ThotismSpeaks · 2026-04-30T18:13:41+00:00

A "pick me" is not simply a woman who's devoted to her boyfriend. It refers to a woman performing internalized misogyny for the sake of male approval, and not the approval of one man in particular.

I also disagree that most men would respect the female version of a simp. A woman who threw herself at a man and sacrificed everything for him would be taken for granted and ultimately discarded for a more challenging woman, especially if she wasn't particularly attractive to him.

Steakman1 · 2026-04-30T18:12:00+00:00

Pick me’s generally put other women down to try to make themselves look better and stand out. Im not sure how you would consider a person like that to be pleasant

titanicResearch · 2026-04-30T19:03:34+00:00

I stumbled upon this sub like 10 minutes ago and checked your profile. Brother you got issues lol this is your ENTIRE post history. Damn near daily posting, this place is depressing. I wonder what the average age of the users here is lmao

-mixedsignals · 2026-04-30T18:33:12+00:00

"pick me" is more related to her relationship with other women. I don't think a guy can detect if a woman is a pick unless he hears her talk about other women. The male version of a pick me would be a feminist man who thinks he's better than other men for being a feminist.

"simps" are (insecure) guys who will put themselves aside for his partner. The female version of a simp isn't a devoted girlfriend. It'd be something more like Baby Reindeer, not a pick me. It's someone you don't like making advances.

Icy_Cauliflower6482 · 2026-04-30T19:40:59+00:00

“I like it when people construct their lives, opinions and concerns around me and my life.” Who tf doesn’t?

Werevulvi · 2026-04-30T23:11:03+00:00

Yeah I get called a "pick me" a lot. It doesn't really bother me though. Just means other women get mad that I've no interest in decentering men, that I stand up for men who do/say smart things, and that I've no issue accepting harsh truths about my own gender, or the dating market, etc.

Women who use "pick me" as an insult, I just can't take them seriously. Because obviously I know I'm not actually simping for men. I just give credit where credit is due, and have no issue admitting that I love men in a general sense similar to how men love women, and of course I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

So whenever I do get called a "pick me" it's almost a reminder that I'm doing something right. Like not following the mainstream feminist cultish mindset, not hating men for just existing, etc.

So while I don't think "pick me" women are necessarily simps (although some are) we do generally care more about men, are rarely feminists, and don't put women on an un-earned pedestal, which yeah are qualities a lot of men typically seem to like in women. And not just in dating, but like in general.

il_nascosto · 2026-05-01T01:38:45+00:00

Well, they’re better than modern man hating feminists, so there is that…

Salty-Map-942 · 2026-05-01T05:25:05+00:00

a woman being forward and wanting to attract =/= a pick me

similarly, a man wooing a woman who is at least largely receptive to their signals =/= simping

people are misusing the definitions, that on the surface may seem the same/similar, but are pretty different. An actual pick me is pretty much an attention seeker, who will do anything to get men's attention even if it's ingenuine to their personality, and sometimes at the expense of themselves and/or other women. Whilst a simp is a pathetic guy that will constantly fawn and practically love bomb a girl who is clealy not interested, yet they will still remain around the girl, or are otherwise strategically misled by those girls.

Though I'd have to agree, there'd be more guys into pick mes, than women into simps. It's still far from a large proportion though, unless if they're young and dumb, or fuckboys or something. Othwerwise, how many people with any self respect and maturity want to date fake people, or date someone they're not attracted to simply because they're lovebombing you?

KayRay1994 · 2026-04-30T18:09:39+00:00

“Men love insecure women eager for their approval, who are willing to throw themselves and others under the bus for male attention. Be more like them”

Reason #910847479108372810838078 why women are trusting men less and less

Corbast7 · 2026-04-30T19:03:14+00:00

Nah, I think it’s more like pickme women more often attract the kind of men that’ll take advantage of them. A lot of men actually look down on pickme women, and don’t want to date them. Those women are usually nice on the surface, but a lot of people can see through them.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-04-30T19:57:42+00:00

A “pick me” is simply a woman that is trying to compete for men in a similar way that men are forced to, the reason women dislike them is because they aren’t falling in line forcing men to compete for women, and the reason that it isn’t as effective as you’d think is because they are still trying to have men much more desirable than themselves pick them.

mlo9109 · 2026-04-30T19:02:59+00:00

As a woman who has been called a pick me more times than I can't count, I can reliably say this is BS. Men do not want us. They pass us over for the baddies.

lesliecarbone · 2026-04-30T18:03:52+00:00

INFO: What is your definition of respect?

oppositegeneva · 2026-04-30T18:15:24+00:00

That isn’t what a pick me is

behappyfor · 2026-04-30T18:24:35+00:00

Here's a thing why do men think women care about men in the dating sense? We literally don't exist for y'all

Also I know you don't interavt with actual pick me women, they hardly date guys like you first. They date guys that are attractive and hard to please and hence put down other women in front of those guys to secure that guys attention. If a girl is pick me to gain multiple guys attention she's also cheating around.

You don't even interact with pick me girls to know this so how would you even know

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-04-30T19:08:27+00:00

A woman that’s pleasant, loves being around him as long as she looks good enough it’s no problem

That’s not a pick me. A “pick me” is a person who seeks validation by portraying themselves as “not like other women/men,” often by belittling, mocking, or distancing themselves from traits, interests, or behaviours associated with their own gender. The goal is to seem more desirable, “low-maintenance,” or “cool” to the audience they’re trying to impress.

Barely-moral · 2026-04-30T18:24:25+00:00

The reason why I don't think that is the case is because pick mes just as any women are going after men with options.

The men with options are likely to have options that are better than those pick me women (after all, they would not need to be pick mes if they were good enough)

That means that men with options will ignore them and men without options will resent them for talking the talk but going after Chad anyways.

WerePrechaunPire · 2026-04-30T22:54:05+00:00

Women call others "pick me" simply for not hating men

One-Relief-4469 · 2026-05-02T03:09:11+00:00

Depends on the kind of pick me.

If she’s still acting like one to everyone else in the relationship, HELL no.

Other_Comparison_264 · 2026-05-02T09:03:20+00:00

I agree at least with the title of your post. You talk about the female version of simps, but those aren't the women I've seen be called pick-mes.

The women who are called pick-mes, in my experience, are women who deviate from the progressive narrative about what a modern woman ought to be. That means women who are nationalists, anti-feminist (or simply highly critical of modern feminism), capitalist, or just overall right-wing ideologically. And yes, men tend to love those women (I certainly do).

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-30T18:10:48+00:00

No one respects a doormat, sycophant, sellout or pushover. They’ll take what they allow, though

Nellylocheadbean · 2026-04-30T18:58:13+00:00

I’ve yet to see a man treat a “pick me” right and I’m highly certain most women would agree. OP mentions that men “would” give the world to a pick me but if that’s the case why aren’t they doing it right now? There’s a plethora of pick me women.

VisibleDig3490 · 2026-04-30T18:03:06+00:00

You are having mental health crisis.

Go to the ER and tell the nurses this.

Barneysparky · 2026-04-30T18:17:22+00:00

A pick me is THE woman who gets with a known abusive guy, attacks the ex he abused because shes not like other girls until the leopard bites her face.

The red pill certainly wants and filters for pick mes, they also often have BPD, which makes relationships mutually abusive. Then, AWALT. Women know pilled guys want pick mes.

DenverKim · 2026-04-30T19:06:32+00:00

You don’t seem to understand what “pick me” even means.

And you are wrong about your assessment either way… Most men will happily treat a woman like a doormat if she lets him. Obviously, everyone (both men and women) want their partners to treat them well and with respect. This should be mutual, it should go both ways.

But when a woman allows a man to disrespect her, does everything for him while expecting nothing in return and allows him to consistently treat her like garbage, then he is almost always going to treat her worse and worse, not better. This applies to everyone, not just women and not just men. And again, that’s not even what “pick me“ even means.

Like *everything* about your post is just wrong.

pie-mart · 2026-04-30T18:08:34+00:00

sigh a pick me is not a woman who is a female version of a simp. They are girls or women who willingly and knowingly hurt and or put other women down, betray their friends etc all for the attention of men

Its not simply trying to get male attention, its that they will harm and hurt and betray others, often times their own friends, to get said male attention

Even in a relationship, usually a single man's attention isn't enough.

They are basically more emotionally manipulative attention whores

So, attention whores who try to get attention by any means possible

Potential_Winner1931 · 2026-05-03T01:54:25+00:00

Preach it brother.

Reddit will never agree with you on this because everyone is an insecure histrionic, but it's pretty simple that women do prefer to be the submissive role and men the dominant...each with it's positives and negatives.

Society used to reflect this nature somewhat, until the zeitgeist deemed nature misogynistic, racist, or whatever....

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harmonica2 · 2026-04-30T18:20:04+00:00

I suppose I've had more luck with pick mes in the past than not but is that bad?

Acrobatic-Monk9735 · 2026-04-30T18:53:46+00:00

A woman that’s pleasant, loves being around him as long as she looks good enough it’s no problem.

That is not a pick me

Also:

“As long as she looks good enough” Always disqualifying like 80% of women. 🙄

The definition of a pick me from Webster is

https://www.merriam-webster.com/slang/pick-me

Pick-me (or pick me) is a slang term for a person, usually a young woman, seen as behaving in a contemptible way for attention and approval, usually from male peers. It is most often used in the expression pick-me girl, which disparages a young woman who is seen as faking interest in stereotypically male activities or conforming to traditional values at the expense of other women. It also used in pick-me boy, referring to a young man who feigns emotional vulnerability to win the attention of women. More generally, pick-me can refer to anyone thought to be trying too hard to earn acceptance.

The specific phrase pick-me girl went viral on social media in the early 2020s, starting on TikTok in skits mocking pick-me girls as desperately seeking attention from men and demeaning women to do it. The videos portrayed pick-me girls apt to say they were “not like other girls,” pretending to enjoy stereotypically male activities, such as sports and video games, while distancing themselves from female stereotypes, such as a concern for their appearance or love of shopping. By 2021, the phrase pick-me boy spread, caricaturing young men seen as manipulating young women into liking them by pretending to be emotionally sensitive and self-deprecating. In addition to concerns about bullying, the popularity of pick-me prompted popular discussion on topics of both toxic femininity and masculinity, including whether the insult exposed or perpetuated harmful behaviors.

https://www.wikihow.com/Pick-Me-Girl-Meaning

Pick-me girls lean into outdated gender stereotypes to put other women down for male attention. She projects misogyny onto others, and even herself, by putting down classically "girly" hobbies or interests. A pick-me girl will try to differentiate herself by saying things like, "Girls are so catty. That's why I prefer hanging out with guys." She will make excuses to be with the guy. "You all gossip about me."

So what you posted isn’t the definition of a pick me.

pervolus · 2026-04-30T18:07:54+00:00

Sure thing. As long as they aren't brainwashed with shallow ideas.

HonestForever6676 · 2026-04-30T19:06:07+00:00

It gets tiring interacting with a woman who lives and breathes for male validation and attention

YveisGrey · 2026-05-01T01:38:06+00:00

Oh please the only thing being a pick me is good for is grifting on the internet

Men don’t respect pick mes and women hate pick mes so if you’re not making money being a pick me what are you doing?? 😂

Consistent-Fly-8427 · 2026-05-01T02:07:50+00:00

I don’t think you understand what a pick me is, but I already see plenty of comments explaining it. If men love and respect “pick me’s” so much, they wouldn’t have that nickname in the first place. Almost every pick me I know has struggled to get any men interested in them, and were only able to pull mediocre and abusive men that like the way they put down other women.

jenaemare · 2026-05-01T09:40:20+00:00

I'm a woman who simps for men and unfortunately the men I want don't like this about me. They want me to simp about myself before them. I just can't do that

I am however not hot enough so I guess your affirmation is correct as long as the pickme is also very attractive

NervousAd7977 · 2026-05-01T10:03:40+00:00

A pick me isn’t just a nice attractive woman. That’s like saying a simp is just your average gentleman attractive man. They’re usually pick me’s/simps for a reason. They put others down to get attention. they’re insecure & validation seekers. if you want that in a partner, it’s fine. But for smart ppl, they know that these traits will turn against them when in a LTR.

il_nascosto · 2026-05-01T01:34:38+00:00

Men date pick-mes, and sometimes marry them. “Girls girls” get left with their cats

brazenbull09 · 2026-05-03T01:59:24+00:00

The term "pick me" is literally used to describe any woman who isnt hating on men at comical/radical levels. Women have been recklessly throwing it out to the point that it doesnt have much power anymore (though i shouldn't be so confident since im not a woman myself)

It's kinda like the word simp, people starting using it wrong, and now it's lost its meaning because men will use it to describe any man that isnt misogynymaxxing 24/7.

I take womens sentiments with a grain of salt whenever they call another woman a pick me especially online because the bar is genuinely so low. The woman you're calling a pick me might just be a kind woman who has good and healthy relationships with men, she might just be good partner who reciprocates the love she gets in her relationship, and isnt afraid to express the love she has for her male partner. It's so bad that even moms who have sons get called pick me's. And no im not talking about the infamous boy moms, just your average mother who happens to have male children(that she loves).

Most women will never admit it, but they pretty much suffer from the same thing that guys suffer from, which is a lack of connection with the other gender. This lack of connection makes it easier to work in extremes when it comes the other gender, dehumanize them, objectify them, and dismiss their existence entirely.

So obviously when a women who actually takes the time and effort (which is not much) to actually SEE a man, there's a high chance he's gonna be over the moon about it.

Competitive_Side6301 · 2026-05-05T16:21:38+00:00

No shit men like pick mes???

Women like pick mes too. The amount of women who genuinely think that a relationship is only good if a man loves them more than they love the man is alarming. And they try to justify it with nonsense related to social injustice. It’s not good for the man it’s good for the woman.

Was this supposed to be a grand epiphany?

anomalocarus · 2026-04-30T19:52:32+00:00

In case anyone wants to know the actual meaning of a pickme here it is.

Here is the wikipedia page for the term.

A Pick Me Girl, also known as "Pick Me" is a term used on the Internet to describe a woman who seeks male approval by regularly belittling other women

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-04-30T22:15:09+00:00

Everyone has already pointed out what the term actually means but I just want to point out that OP is forgetting that a “pick-me” doesn’t just want to be picked by any specific man..she wants to be picked by all men. Pick-me women don’t just stop seeking male attention once they’re dating someone. These are the women who post provocative photos on social media, flirt in DMs, and love to hang out alone with other men..because she’s just “like one of the guys!” 🤷‍♀️

SummerTomato1 · 2026-05-01T03:02:54+00:00

But you are very concerned about how she looks - that trumps personality, intelligence, humor, success, career, work ethic, style, charm, even kindness and integrity. Make that make sense.

MissMenace101 · 2026-04-30T21:25:07+00:00

“Pick mes” are always treated like shit and often used for sex. They never get the guy, except maybe in Hollywood movies or if he burns out and no one else will date him anymore and then he inevitably cheats the first chance he gets.

-Kalos · 2026-05-01T00:35:58+00:00

A study was published recently that showed men hold trad wives in contempt more than career women. You know, the stay at home pick mes? Y'all just making shit up, nobody respects a pushover

Hungry-Plantain-3315 · 2026-05-01T16:33:26+00:00

Can we PLEASE stop using the term pick-me incorrectly?

A pick me by definition is a woman who:

1.) frequently claims they are not like other women, often by mocking or belittling feminine to seem more "down-to-earth" or "chill"

2.) Their behavior is heavily focused on appealing to men, often acting as "one of the boys" and disassociating from other women.

3.) They may put down other women to make themselves look more appealing or superior in comparison.

4.) They may fake enjoyment of traditionally male-dominated activities, such as sports or video games, to gain attention.

YveisGrey · 2026-05-01T00:55:26+00:00

Men don’t treat pickmes well they take advantage of them

Also pickmes aren’t any less selective than non pickmes they do all that pick me nonsense to compete for the “top guys”. That’s why a lot of them are single

Just Pearlythings is a good example
She’s still waiting on her Prince Charming 😂

AsleepIllustrator571 · 2026-05-01T12:35:35+00:00

They are abused and mistreated literally all the time.

Title	Men love and respect pick mes
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	72
Comments	568
Date	April 30, 2026 6:00 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1t03wrv/men_love_and_respect_pick_mes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-love-and-respect-pick-mes.1579290 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579290

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