Women of reddit. What is your honest reaction to hearing constantly on social media the dating woes of men?

My_House_on_Mars · 2025-07-16T01:58:07+00:00

In my local media they talk about young people, in general, not having sex, not just men

They talk about how social media made us alienated and anxious about everything, affecting more younger generations that didn't get to experience a reality without social media and people filming and uploading everything.

leosandlattes · 2025-07-16T01:40:13+00:00

I am sympathetic in a detached way, similar to how I think it is sad that homelessness exists or how some people cannot afford college. And because I am a red pill believer, I think dating for men will be more difficult no matter what since women are more selective.

I think existing on PPD inherently requires being desensitized or numbed to complaints. I cannot tell you how many times I have expressed sympathy or empathy for men, only to have my DMs flooded with men wanting me to be their personal therapists for the evening. And it is fine that people reach out to me privately to clarify a point I made in one of my comments, or offer their perspective, but it is emotionally exhausting having stranger men treat me like a personal sounding board for their problems.

toasterchild · 2025-07-16T01:48:15+00:00

My opinion varies widely on what specifically the guy is saying.

Dating is hard for most people. Socializing period is really fucking difficult for some people. Being lonely and feeling unwanted is the worst feeling.

But if he's going online to rant about how all dating issues are caused by evil women and feminists blah blah blah i suppose it's best that guy stays alone. There are many women out there struggling with loneliness too. I lose empathy for hurting people who desire to hurt other people.

lesliecarbone · 2025-07-16T09:59:55+00:00

A lot depends on the attitude.

Are they simply sad and disappointed? Then I'm sympathetic,
and think they should work towards being happy on their own.

Are they angry and acting like not getting dates is a violation of their rights?
Then I feel contempt.

Xeltar · 2025-07-16T04:46:20+00:00

I've definitely felt bad for some people here. Dating is hard and men do face different challenges than women. Mostly though, a lot of the posts here are just outrageous ragebait that I can't take seriously or extremely vile beliefs about women. And those people I don't feel sorry for.

Confident_Counter471 · 2025-07-16T11:13:26+00:00

I feel for men who have a hard time dating. I have a hard time feeling for men who have a hard time dating and then assume all women are evil skanks to plated and used. The red pill seems to be all about using people to get what you want which is just gross imo. Yes hurt people hurt people, but you are in charge of your reaction and lots of people on this sub chose to react with anger and spite

Morgoth_Worshipper · 2025-07-16T06:53:39+00:00

It's pathetic hearing these guys do nothing but complain, complain, complain and blame women.

VisceralSardonic · 2025-07-16T04:53:23+00:00

I have a ton of sympathy and empathy. In this era, dating sucks. It sucks differently for women and men on average, sucks for every individual differently, and is part of this huuuge society-wide decline of basic human connection and support. We need to just… see people again. Have a network of family and friends. Know our neighbors. Yes, that goes along with dating life being extra bullshit now, but it’s not exclusive to men (let alone ugly men, poor men, short men, etc.) romantic connections, or this exact period of time. Some people are unlucky, struggle socially, whatever. Some people end up rejected, experiencing unrequited love, end up in abusive relationships, etc. It’s horrific and traumatic, and people have every right to seek compassion for it.

HOWEVER— It’s also become the new excuse for hate, misinformation, violence, and division, which isn’t okay in the slightest. Being so lonely that you look towards something like redpill that finally seems to be providing answers? Reasonable. Misguided. Understandable. All of the hate that emerges from it? The behavior both while immersed and while trying to get back to the real world? It literally mirrors the way that cults act with their followers. Redpill/blackpill/MGTOW/manosphere influencers are making false promises, spreading misinformation, creating an evil subclass of people who ‘deserve’ hate and violence, and taking advantage of lonely people. That’s not okay, and that narrative brings a lot of not okay things to the world.

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-07-16T02:23:52+00:00

The posts on here and around the manosphere in general have made me much less sympathetic to male cries of loneliness. Why would I sympathise with someone who idolises someone like Andrew Tate or Donald Trump?

Superb-Foundations · 2025-07-16T02:18:17+00:00

I used to truly believe that men were misunderstood, but after being in here, I have seen so many men defending rape, sexual assault, and pedophilia that I dont think I want to date men anymore. 🤷 Not only do we notice the black pill, incels, and red pills talking, but we also notice blue and purple pill men who sit quietly and dont call them out for saying such wild things.

After being in here, I understand why so many women are choosing to be alone. I wouldn't want to be with a man who simply doesn't like women, and let's be honest, most posts in here aren't talking about how hard dating is. They are talking about how much women suck. Also, the men in here will talk about their pick up artists and how they lie to women to fuck them. I thought that was just social media bullshit but now... I dunno man.

This subreddit hasn't shown me that I should feel bad for men, but rather, I understand why women are happier alone. I was naive. I didn't know so many men want a woman who weighs max 110lbs. I didn't know men hated single mothers so much. I've learned a lot being in here, but none of it has been good. 🤷 I share a lot of the crazy posts on facebook groups I'm in, so other women are aware what men truly think about us.

FairwayBliss · 2025-07-16T06:10:09+00:00

I had to endure a lot from men, when dating and outside of dating. I’m considered attractive by most. By American standards I’m conservative/libertarian leaning: I get to see quite close to the good/bad/ugly of men.

Reading along here made me much less naive, and learn the lingo of incels/low class men. So I knew exactly what to look out for while dating. I started playing a numbers game, and won. My husband is basically what every incel dreams to be, and I’m basically what they describe as their dream woman. But I would NEVER waste any breathing/thinking on those insecure dudes IRL.

It intrigues me like a car crash. Is is a good thing to stand around and let the mf’er burn? No it’s not, but I just can’t stop looking. I also want to protect my little daughter to all the vile men out there, and keep your friends close: but enemies closer.

Dating for me was like having to wade through huge and HUGE piles of shit. While they make it out like it was the most easiest thing on the planet.. I don’t feel sorry. They deserve it.

GridReXX · 2025-07-16T12:24:11+00:00

I have sympathy up until they start cruelly ranting and raving and/or hot-taking about their honest worldviews, which typically happens way more than it doesn’t. At which point my sympathy zaps away and I detach from their woes free as a butterfly 🦋🧚‍♀️

Poppy_Luvv · 2025-07-16T07:51:11+00:00

I feel bad for people struggling with mental health issues. I think most men here are either autistic and / or have OCD, anxiety or depression. Those are tough things to deal with, and they do have very real impacts on social prospects. I know that personally.

But I am not moved by the complaints that arise from the above. I'm not moved by the self victimization and pity parades men here throw for themselves, especially when it basically comes down to "I refuse to do anything but have a profile on a dating app, and those don't work!" or "cold approaching women doesn't work easily!" (it never has?) I'm also not moved by the reliance on bad statics and pseudo-science.

Like, really the amount of discussion here that really boils down to dating apps or cold approach. Because many men here flat out will not change their behaviors of lifestyles in a more concrete way to facilitate more social engagement. They will not seek help for their neurosis. The whole stubborn heels in sand stance is not really easy to empathize with. If people don't want to change, you can't make them.

ThatBitchA · 2025-07-16T02:26:38+00:00

I only "hear" it on this sub.

And given that this sub isn't a representation of average men......

I find the woes of men in this sub to be 100% of their own doing.

EulenWatcher · 2025-07-16T03:12:32+00:00

I feel sorry for guys struggling with loneliness or guys who want to start their own family, but they can't find a partner. I'm sure it's a tough place to be, and it isn't something you can just wave away. I don't feel much sympathy for guys complaining about being horny or wanting a "hole" though or guys who are hateful towards women though.

In any case, there isn't anything I can do for these guys. I'm married, I don't have single friends interested in dating nor I'd connect my friends with some random online guys. Most men in my life who I'm somehow close with are partnered or married. I've met a few struggling guys - and it's pretty clear why they struggle, but even in real life I couldn't do much for them besides just offering some advice if they asked for any.

I do think that a lot of people struggling with dating struggle with socializing and/or mental health overall. PPD has just confirmed by real life examples here. A lot of people do not have social skills and/or have glaring mental health issues or they're on the spectrum. I've seen some pictures from this sub - guys sent me their pics to rate, and, honestly, I haven't seen even one person who I'd look at and think "yes, he's too ugly to date". Most are fine.

WebBorn2622 · 2025-07-16T10:57:44+00:00

It depends a lot on the tone and what they are saying.

If they are just lonely and feel upset they haven’t been able to find someone they like I do feel for them. Not in a “oh no the world is so cruel to you” way, but in an “I’ve felt lonely in the past and I can empathize with that” sort of way.

If they start talking badly about women, have a victim complex or insist that “something has to be done” I lose all empathy. You can't really empathize with how "hard" it is for someone else that you have rights and they can't rule over you.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-07-16T10:32:12+00:00

I have sympathy for the men who are dealing with loneliness who are simply sad and frustrated and not trying to vilify women over the fact they are struggling. However, I also recognize that certain spaces draw people who are struggling with a certain thing, and what we see in PPD and many online spaces in general, does not reflect an accurate cross-section of the population.

If I’m being honest, it’s hard to reconcile what I read online with what I see happening irl among family and friends. I’ve known a few guys who did struggle, but they were all really young and are now married or partnered not many years later. I feel like the main trend is that gen z is less sociable and maturing a bit more slowly than previous generations… but even so, we received a LOT of wedding and baby shower invites for people 23-27 this year. I realize the fact that we live in the Midwest may play a role here, but yeah. I do believe gen z is struggling more in many ways including dating, but I also know the media loves to hype any crisis and pit people against each other.

meangingersnap · 2025-07-16T02:13:50+00:00

I feel bad for them but I also dgaf

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2025-07-16T01:43:48+00:00

I must have a different algorithm because this sub is literally the only place I find men complaining about dating woes. Even the random FB and IG posts I’ve come across don’t talk about this stuff.

Until this sub I’ve literally only met 3 men in my 36 (nearly 37) years on earth that have struggled to get dates.

Even my husband’s most annoying, unattractive friends have partners. 🤷‍♀️

Physical_Sherbet199 · 2025-07-16T13:50:07+00:00

I feel bad for men who struggle to date. But women are also struggling. Most American women are not young or thin enough to be attractive to most American men. Men don’t want to admit this and get angry but then these same men complain about how fat American women are and how women expire after 30.

A lot of the men here claim to be good men who are simply lonely, but then are abrasive, hostile, aggressive, and downright cruel. They enjoy taunting women and putting them down.

Examples off of the top of my head include:

Claiming a large portion of women either knowingly or due to extreme naïveté share the same man.

Insulting and putting down single moms.

Being outraged that a woman who had casual sex in the past realizes it doesn’t serve her and waits to have sex, saying she gave her “best self” to her casual sex partners.

Being envious that certain men can “get away” with abuse, and saying that while they are not jealous of being an abuser they are jealous that certain men are “hot enough” for a woman to tolerate abuse. Without realizing that not all abuse is physical and that verbal abuse is not always calling a woman a bitch and is also a form of abuse.

Casually calling women “whales” or “fatties”.

Making claims like “women shouldn’t be legally allowed to own a pet because women aren’t good animal owners”

Expressing a desire for “revenge” for last rejections. Claiming that at 30 they will only date 20 year olds OR will use their age match for casual sex only to punish their female peers who may have swiped left on them at 20. Fat guy loses weight and starts getting matches on tinder. Uses fat women for sex to punish them for not matching with him when he was fat.

Excessive rage about not having matches on dating apps yet being against encouraging more women to join the apps to even out the field. Being angry that all the women there can’t match with everyone unless they date multiple men at once.

This is just SOME of the shit men say here and it’s already a lot. They say the meanest things then expect us to coddle them and hug them and feel sorry for them. Loneliness is not an excuse for cruelty.

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-07-16T03:53:09+00:00

I feel like society has seriously failed men.

It's normal for many men to not end up with a woman. As long as male and female sexes have existed, a good chunk of the males were not able to mate. The male sex exists to provide genetic diversity, the female sex exists to be the default and to select from the diversity.

The past few thousand years have pretty much guaranteed a woman to any man who puts himself together decently, preventing her from selecting and enforcing genetics to pass on that were not intended to continue, which is anti-nature, and anti-logic. Now that women finally no longer have their rights restricted and can choose their partner, men no longer have this guarantee of a partner just for being standard.

Men aren't raised to be prepared for that. Men aren't raised to be satisfied in their own company, able to tend to themselves, able to get most needs beyond the most intimate ones met from themselves or each other, etc. Men today are raised on a lie, and they're not raised to be able to cope with that lie bursting. I feel really bad for them for that.

S0yslut · 2025-07-16T14:17:41+00:00

I do feel sorry for kind men but that sympathy will remain internal from now on. I do not trust men’s engagement with “manosphere” content, especially in light of recent events like the widespread misogynistic attacks in France, where women were stabbed with needles across the country.

My response? I started open carrying and got legal insurance.

I’m friendly and warm toward men I already know and trust but that’s where it ends. I haven’t been initiating conversations, smiling back at strangers, or trying to make new male friends. I’m good.

bluepvtstorm · 2025-07-16T14:34:44+00:00

Unbothered. It’s not an issue I created or one I can fix. They might as well be talking about a ball of string.

I don’t consider the conversations around a thing until they are more solutions based without playing the blame game.

I also knew that most men who are red pilled have been taken in by a bunch of grifters who don’t give a crap about them and have made a lot of money selling things that don’t work.

Men are complaining and not listening. Until men come up with a reasonable plan that is solely based on their efforts and their labor that does not require women to give up any rights or advancement’s they have made then it’s just noise.

Thatshygurl · 2025-07-16T16:30:24+00:00

I’m both sympathetic and apathetic at the same time. Sympathetic to the men who I am sure who are kind and actually putting in effort to meet someone. Apathetic towards the guys who think it should just come to them easily like “it goes for women”. Definitely a mixed bag of men who are struggling.

attendquoi · 2025-07-16T13:05:14+00:00

I don't see dating as necessary for survival, so it's like watching a bunch of people complain that they can't afford to install an indoor pool in their homes. It's entitled garbage.

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SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-07-16T05:13:02+00:00

Redit is the only place I hear it.

I hope those who struggle find someone they are happy with

Practical-Monk1586 · 2025-07-16T06:21:24+00:00

I mostly breeze it over and take note of the discourse. It’s like reading someone’s journal and gaining insight into psychology.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2025-07-16T07:28:31+00:00

i see pain and i just hope it doesn’t translate to prejudice. and as a lesbian who has lived in red rural areas, i empathize.

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-07-16T09:03:19+00:00

I don't hear it anywhere except on this forum actually. The guys around me who are single date a bit and it seems to be going well apart from the general difficulty that is finding someone you're compatible with, I don't use instagram that much and my algorithm is more food and fashion/crafts based, and that's the extent of my hearing of this.

When I hear about it I kinda go "yeah that sucks. And people should be online way less, it's too bad we have everything online nowadays, it doesn't seem to make people happy."

Hellarouge · 2025-07-16T12:50:49+00:00

Honestly, it makes me less inclined to date anyone. It was definitely a catalyst in stepping away from online dating, I don’t see it as a viable route to meeting someone I’d like because the commentary online (in general) about dating apps just isn’t a vibe.

I stick to dating people I meet in the real world now, and I get to know them as people first. I think my key takeaway from red pill is that they don’t believe in a slow burn, so it feels like that in and of itself is a decent way to sort away people I just don’t align with.

Sophiatab · 2025-07-16T16:26:55+00:00

It makes me very angry at men. I know if a man is alone, it's a choice. There are too many women looking for relationships. Unfortunately, these women are ignored by most men because they aren't "pretty" enough or sexually promiscuous enough.

ChadHecker · 2025-07-16T19:56:41+00:00

I won't mind it if it weren't an excuse to be sexist pieces of shits and act as if all women are like that and women have zero struggles at all. And this is coming from an egalitarian anti-feminist who understands men's issues and feels bad for them. This mindset is as bad as the crazy feminist mindset that acts like all men are creepy stalkers who are one 'no' away from beating and raping you. You don't fight sexism with sexism. You don't fight double standards with double standards. Stop pretending like every woman is like that and try and talk to one in real life. Use your bad experiences for wisdom, understanding and a reason to fight for REAL gender equality. Not hate and bitterness. You don't get to complain about sexism while being sexist yourself. And I apply this to women too.

gslzhytvrq · 2025-07-16T02:11:19+00:00

It’s made me care less honestly. I used to believe a lot more in communication and radical honesty than I do now. Let’s keep secrets and NOT talk to each other about things.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-07-16T17:08:21+00:00

They make me realize how good I have it. I feel for them.

It must suck having to go your entire life getting zero attention from women while noticing fat ogre women have no problems getting laid.

Title	Women of reddit. What is your honest reaction to hearing constantly on social media the dating woes of men?
Author	Chemical-Low209
Upvotes	57
Comments	487
Date	July 16, 2025 1:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m0ztk3/women_of_reddit_what_is_your_honest_reaction_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-of-reddit-what-is-your-honest-reaction-to.1557278 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557278

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