Women Keep Bringing Up Rape to Shut Down Male Concerns

procrast1natrix · 2026-04-24T18:51:31+00:00

I am 6000% there to discuss and troubleshoot men's pain, concerns, troubles, difficulties, as long as the solution isn't asking women to put out.

I want to talk about positive masculinity. I want to talk about how to socialize individually, and how to foster third spaces generally that help other people to socialize. I want to generally encourage women to feel good about initiating dates, and having financial literacy to reject being a leech so that sexual attraction to a man can be genuine.

But do not suggest that the solution is that women should part their legs, you have lost me.

Edit/ and I do NOT believe that you cannot discuss one without invalidating the other. Both can be very true. I can need to clean up my herb bed from last year and also need to scrub my bathroom, the truth of either does not invalidate the other. We should attend to each in their own time and both will improve the quality of life for us all.

xKalisto · 2026-04-24T19:47:47+00:00

It probably stems from lots of the manosphere's "solutions" to the relationship issues being rapey adjacent.

Make loneliness is a legit issue that deserves attention. Pseudo alpha males who put into young guys' heads that females should be submissive to them and that they are entitled to their bodies is not it.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-04-24T20:53:52+00:00

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Solondthewookiee · 2026-04-24T18:21:58+00:00

Can you show some examples of a man saying, "I'm lonely" and women responding with, "well at least you're not being raped?"

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-04-24T19:15:17+00:00

Well that’s funny because the last time I saw someone comparing male loneliness to issues like rape and domestic abuse, it was a man trying to garner sympathy. (Hint: that’s not how you do it.)

DiamondEyes-976 · 2026-04-24T19:29:27+00:00

Your first mistake is becoming vulnerable to a woman. If I was a women I would feel uncomfortable if a man starts ranting about how he can’t get laid and vice-versa

DenverKim · 2026-04-24T19:24:57+00:00

I think that’s because of the pathetic tone that a lot of men are taking on the Internet these days. They are so desperately trying to make themselves out to be victims that it just becomes a bit ridiculous at a certain point.

Most of the problems you are complaining about are not gendered problems… They’re just human problems.

Loneliness?… Do you think women these days aren’t lonely? Manipulated?… You think women aren’t constantly manipulated by men when it comes to dating? Rejection?… You think that just because women have hundreds of thirsty men swiping right on every profile on a dating app that doesn’t mean that women don’t often face rejection as well? The main difference is that women face rejection after they’ve already had sex with a man and he’s gotten what he wanted. I promise you that is far more painful than just being rejected upfront.

And financial exploitation?… Who is exploiting you financially? Is anyone asking you to give up your career to clean their house, cook their food and raise their children with no safety net or retirement plan? Or are you just talking about the fact that some women expect you to pay for a first date?

You know you really don’t have to take women on dates at all if you don’t want to… Nobody is forcing you to do that. The same way that women are no longer required to rely on a man in order to survive in this world… so a lot of them are choosing not to.

If you consider paying for a first date with a woman to be financial exploitation, then you should not be asking that woman on a date.

Point being, the complaints that men keep harping on over and over again on the Internet and acting as though it’s some new major societal crisis are extremely minor complaints when compared to what women have endured and in many cases still endure. And the vast majority of men absolutely do not and never did give a damn.

That doesn’t mean that you don’t have a right to be upset about where you feel like you are in life… But I think it might be a bit more productive to take a step outside of your own bubble, look at the bigger picture and realize that the complaints you guys have are actually very minor in comparison. EVERYONE is struggling. Y’all are just handling it much much worse.

The other issue is that most of you guys on the Internet are behaving like little children… You are crying about problems expecting the women to fix everything. Fix it yourself.

You feel lonely? Go make some friends. You feel financially exploited? Choose better women. You feel manipulated? Stop letting your dick think for you and use your brain when it comes to setting boundaries with women. You feel rejected?… That’s just part of life, kid. Grow some thicker skin and get used to it. Everybody faces rejection. Some just handle it better than others.

I don’t think anybody is doubting the fact that men are facing struggles in dating. People aren’t trying to deny you that fact… They are trying to explain to you that it’s your problem to solve, not women’s problem to solve. It’s a very low problem on the totem pole when it comes to problems we are facing as a society right now. Women are still busy trying to solve their own problems and they don’t have time to solve yours as well. Nor should they be expected to.

Tylikcat · 2026-04-24T18:29:10+00:00

And yet, rape is frequently being brought up by men too, though they'll often bend over backwards to try to avoid the word.

For instance, I was just having a conversation with a guy where he asserted that it would be worse for a man to have sex with a man he didn't want to have sex with than for a woman to have sex with a man she didn't have sex with, because she's straight.

Which is less gross than the frequent questions about why don't women have sex with incels so they are less likely to want to kill us.

So, what is it when you have sex with someone you don't want to? Why is it supposed to be more okay for women, if it's a man who they are having involuntary sex with? Why does any of this sound like it's a reasonable argument?

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-24T21:18:36+00:00

I just went to your post about do women believe men. I was one that responded. The majority of the responses are “yes” “yes with empathy” or “yes with no empathy.” There’re only a small number that bring up rape or assault. So why are you focussing on them instead of the majority that said yes.

Even in one of your own responses to someone commenting about one single negative response to a woman who was engaged to a previous 25 yo Virgin you pointed out that they were ignoring the overwhelming positive responses. Why the hypocrisy?

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-04-24T19:09:41+00:00

Why do you think so many women are cold and standoffish towards men? Why do you think so many women have opted to remain single or to very tightly filter their dating prospects?

Women bring up rape, assault, and domestic violence because men are so often clueless about what goes on in women’s minds. Almost every woman I know has a story. Hell even a lot of men I know have been groped or assaulted by other men.

I think these conversations are not playing out how you represented them here. More often than not, when men like you complain about your poor luck in dating, it comes with sweeping negative generalizations about all women and our behavior. Putting the onus on every single woman for why you can’t get a date. The natural response is to put it in perspective - fewer women date vs men because some men can be really fucking scary. Not to mention, y’all never provide ideas for solutions beyond “make women lower their standards” or “government issued girlfriends.” Conversations about sexual assault constantly get railroaded because again, men like you who get it in their heads that all women are bad and evil place all the blame for everything on women. It’s easy to dismiss any conversations about violence against women when you believe women always knowingly choose bad men.

Equivalent_Dance2278 · 2026-04-24T19:19:25+00:00

There is a man on TikTok who went viral. His message? Women should be concerned men are lonely. Because lonely men can do bad things and can’t control themselves. So tell me again how loneliness and rape are two separate issues? Cos there are far too many men who use one to threaten women to stop the other.

-mixedsignals · 2026-04-24T18:42:12+00:00

We'll stop talking about rape the moment men here start offering actionable solutions that don't threat women's consent or integrity

It's always "woman, find me a solution to my sexless life..... or else"

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Combatenjoyer23 · 2026-04-24T18:21:14+00:00

Men can also get raped by women, it's just less likely to happen

Existing-Sign4804 · 2026-04-24T18:33:50+00:00

It gets brought up because it’s a cause and effect thing. If women were safe, they would be more willing to date. Given the lack of safety, women have to be much more careful and many opt out after a few bad experience. The lack of safety is the direct cause of all the problems men are complaining about. You can’t solve the male side of the problem without first solving the female side.

torytho · 2026-04-24T18:32:37+00:00

I’m sorry you think those conversations don’t intersect, because they do. Why are you talking about your experience? To commiserate. To share your experience. To evoke empathy in others for you. Rape shouldn’t be taken as a conversation-ender. It’s a monologue ender and a conversation starter.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-04-25T02:06:10+00:00

no women are bringing it up so you can keep your dating struggles in perspective. not to shut things down.

princeofbreads · 2026-04-24T19:27:05+00:00

rape/SA and dating are UNFORTUNATELY intertwined for women. there is a real danger in meeting men for women. almost every woman has a story. if you want to have a discussion with women about dating, you have to talk about rape. because we cannot go on dates without protecting ourselves in some way, lest something actually happen and your choice of panties indicates 'you wanted it'.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-04-24T18:18:13+00:00

Then have the conversation without dismissing women's valid concerns. Simple, right?

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-04-24T21:04:14+00:00

Just stop. This framing is so fucked up and none of you can talk about consent or sex in any manner that actually works. Grow up they are reacting to entitlement and lack of boundaries awareness and women need to speak up more yes but the red pill is basically a how to guide to push consent.

Tess27795 · 2026-04-24T18:43:55+00:00

Let's be honest though, threats of sexual violence are more frightening than men's real struggles in dating.

If I was a man, I would not take my real struggles in dating to the internet. If you have a female friend, she should listen to you. This is why I have such a problem with men freaking out about being friend zoned. You can still talk to women who are your friends and if they are good friends they should listen.

Few-Yesterday9628 · 2026-04-25T05:51:52+00:00

The only time I've ever seen this brought up is because the man is saying that his dating struggles are worse than women and women have it easier. That's why women are like..."be for real here. At least you don't have to worry about being raped"

Maybe stop framing it by comparing your experiences to women to begin with, and women would stop bringing rape into the conversation? Just a thought.

grivoise · 2026-04-25T12:44:40+00:00

The problem is... The manosphere is a lot of what they believe women SHOULD do, while women are fighting to ask men to stop doing things they SHOULDN'T do. The baseline is quite different.

When the baseline is loneliness vs rape, then yes, rape is always going to be in the conversation.

The argument from the loneliness perspective is legit, but it also, unfortunately, reeks of entitlement. A lot of the arguments stemming from that topic usually end up blaming women for not giving in, whether emotionally or physically. And it ignores the fact that women can also feel lonely when they feel they can't trust others, especially men. But many have decided to put their peace as a priority. It doesn't mean we don't or can't feel lonely, but when we have more pressing issues to deal with - aka risk of violence against us - we have to table the topic of loneliness and emotional connection.

wesborland1234 · 2026-04-24T21:11:35+00:00

Idk I’m pretty glad I’m not being raped for one. Pretty big perk of being a man.

userisrotten · 2026-04-24T19:13:05+00:00

i feel like this is the complete opposite. also the fact that the worst thing you could think of happening to a man is struggling to date compared to the hundreds of millions of women who are raped every year. in my experience men only mention the other men who are sexually assaulted or raped to weaponise and belittle the experiences of women, whereas women are supportive to all victims regardless of gender

Inquiz_ · 2026-04-24T19:15:30+00:00

It's the bioessentialist bigotry innate to feminism behind them doing this. Feminists are genuinely brainwashed enough to think there's some sort of connection between a normal man on the one hand and every rapist that's ever existed on the other. Wish this shit got called out more.

cb8585b · 2026-04-24T18:30:19+00:00

Men’s problems should be filtered through a rape lens when they insist women’s autonomy is the cause of their dating issues. Don’t do that and you won’t be asked why you think like rapists.

WebBorn2622 · 2026-04-25T10:57:15+00:00

You can’t believe these two things at the same time;

1) women have full autonomy in romance and sex and have the right to refuse anyone with or without reason.

2) men not having a romantic or sexual relationship with a woman is an injustice that larger society has to address and fix.

These are opposing views.

So whenever anyone claims that their loneliness is an injustice done to them, oppressive, unfair, etc. They are essentially saying that they don’t follow belief 1). Because you can’t hold both beliefs at once.

This is different from say, someone just saying they are lonely and wishing someone liked them. But that’s not what most guys are saying on here, if it was then this wouldn’t be a debate forum now would it?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-24T18:15:06+00:00

Comparatives are valid

NiaMiaBia · 2026-04-24T18:10:19+00:00

Maybe y’all should stop raping then 🤷🏽‍♀️

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PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2026-04-24T21:03:53+00:00

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IlIIlIIIlIl · 2026-04-26T21:09:52+00:00

Yet women do it just as often.

PieCertain5950 · 2026-04-27T04:12:12+00:00

I agree that men should be able to discuss their struggles with dating. this is something i’ve talked about with almost all of my guy friends, and i don’t think i’ve never felt the need to bring up rape or assault.

with that being said, maybe the women you are talking to are expressing this to you because they feel like you don’t understand the struggles women go through, just as you feel they don’t understand your struggles.

or maybe they’re just continuing the conversation by sharing their struggles with dating as a woman. idk is it possible that you’re misinterpreting some of these interactions? maybe they’re not trying to shut down your feelings, maybe they’re just expressing their own feelings and experiences.

both men and women have struggles with dating and those struggles are real, and no one’s feelings should be shut down. at the same time i would much rather be lonely then be raped. i’m not saying that to shut anyone down, im just saying it because it’s the truth.

SelectAd1485 · 2026-04-29T03:09:44+00:00

Men also get raped. Rape isn't confined to woman exclusively and men face sexuall violence to . My partner was raped by a dam preist when a foster kid a few times....he killed him later to make sure he never did this again 😒. He went inside and has done his time and he's the best partner I've ever had. This has happened alot here in yes Newzealand where I'm from with thousands of cases of teachers and preists and involved al troubled kids and foster kids. I've been raped by my Iranian ex in the anus and it hurt and another weird Egyptian man after I left him and raped at 17 a older guy I was set up with and who forced himself onto me and it hurt alot. Another time a weird drunk man who was to rough and i had my period....he didn't even remember then found me again on a dating app....concerning. When I was single and in my late 40s after leaving my abusive ex husband I was very vulnerable and renting a room and saw to many abusive men and some were good and many not. I didn't cry rape and got on with my life and it didn't put me of men as im real and a kid from the 70s and born in 1968 and a tough and a surviver. My partner now though abused as a kid and most of our abused adult male population are in prison or end up in prison or just carry the shame like my partner does and don't complain and winge and moan like woman do they just get on with their lives even if its hard. He is still nice to me and much more human than my exes who were woman users and abusers.

Otjahe · 2026-04-24T18:50:07+00:00

"A man describes a dating struggle :loneliness, manipulation, financial exploitation, rejection. And within the first few responses, someone brings up rape."

This conversation is also unproductive. It can’t lead to anything. It’s nothing. It’s too vague and specific at the same time.

Coastkiz · 2026-04-25T01:36:58+00:00

Neither invalidates the other. But some people are trying to invalidate one to promote the other and its mostly black pill men

one_little_victory_ · 2026-04-24T20:50:03+00:00

Have men tried actually refraining from engaging in rapey behavior?

Try that first and let us know how it goes.

DapperDan1929 · 2026-04-25T04:34:24+00:00

A VERY controversial hill to die on but you do you.

Title	Women Keep Bringing Up Rape to Shut Down Male Concerns
Author	Pitiful-Purple-7459
Upvotes	142
Comments	481
Date	April 24, 2026 6:08 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sunfq5/women_keep_bringing_up_rape_to_shut_down_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-keep-bringing-up-rape-to-shut-down-male.1578799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1578799

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