Men embrace redpill because mainstream advice is dogshit

MrTTripz · 2025-04-06T09:35:27+00:00

If around 60% of men aged 18-29 in the US are single, how does that reconcile with 80% not being able to get dates?

ForGiggles2222 · 2025-04-06T09:32:42+00:00

Men who torture themselves to appeal to the opposite gender are lost causes.

half_avocado33 · 2025-04-06T09:48:45+00:00

Here are some mainstream ideas:

You'll have a hard time dating if you're obese or pencil thin.

You'll have a hard time if you're very very short.

You'll have a hard time if you have disabilities or mental problems.

You'll have a hard time if you're butt ugly.

You'll have a hard time if you're so introverted that you barely leave the house, and when you do, you barely interact with someone.

You'll have a hard time if you find it difficult to get along with other people.

You'll have a hard time if you are frustrated or desperate.

You'll have a hard time if you can't read the room.

You'll have a hard time if you have no boundaries.

You'll have a hard time if you are controlled by parents from an early age. Or have very strict parents.

You'll have a hard time if your face is full of pimples.

You'll have a hard time if you have no personal grooming.

You'll have a hard time if you go bald from an early age and insist to have a combover.

You'll have a hard time if you are very monotone, no humor, no charisma.

You'll have a hard time if you have no critical thinking.

You'll have a hard time if you have no self esteem.

All of the above are various flavours of hard time, they are not equal.

And the more of the points from above apply to you, the harder it will be.

All these things are naturally understood by normally developed people.

Having a hard time doesn't always mean it will be impossible to have a relationship. But for some, that relationship will never happen.

My mainstream advice would be try to work on what can be improved from the list above in order to better your chances. It's never a guarantee.

The list is most likely incomplete.

PSXSnack09 · 2025-04-06T11:26:45+00:00

i dont even see why redpillers care so much what chronically online reddit feminists have to say, like if redpillers say the redpill has been proven right countless times what does it matter what some 40+ chronically online woman with nothing better to do than to "own" online anonymous profiles to get over the resenment she has for the assholes she willingly dated matters?

for every reddit woman that jerk herself off with her revenge fantasy about the male loneliness crisis supposedly being some sort of punishment towards men for not being feminist enough theres like 20 women irl that prove them wrong so why do you care? i doubt these are the women you are on your redpill quest for considering the women most redpillers torture themselves over are addicted to instagram and dont even use reddit.

just like those clueless boomers who still believe the key to getting a job is to go in person and give a firmhandshake when reality proves them wrong, just say "ok boomer" and call it a day and find solutions to your problem other than to argue with people who take reddit too seriously.

besides redpill is such a bastardized term that people are always arguing towards some sort of strawman of it rather than what it actually is anyways.

Fickle_Friendship296 · 2025-04-07T15:09:46+00:00

It’s largely because women have an abundance of choice and when it comes to dating, the average and even mid women get waaay more attention than the average man does. So she can afford to be picky whereas the avenger man usually leans into desperation due to lack of abundant choice.

But all men have to do is play at their own strengths, and understand that having few choices in dating is pretty much the norm. But being desperate just to get into a relationship is very unhealthy and unrewarding.

Gravel_Roads · 2025-04-06T09:43:12+00:00

The sad truth is, there is no advice that will help someone who doesn’t want to change.

We aren’t keeping it a secret and if we would only let you in on that secret, you’d get chicks.

If you don’t enjoy dating, you will have a very hard time having a girlfriend because then you’ll have someone who you have to regularly go out on dates with.

Scolding and wanting to confront women about their flaws isn’t fun or attractive.

I can’t figure out what dudes who post shit like this want to hear. You don’t have to listen to anything we say. None of us agree with each other anyway.

There is no conspiracy keeping you out of your happiness, we can only tell you what’s worked for ourselves. If you don’t want to do anything at all you aren’t required to.

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-04-07T02:38:31+00:00

Your debate question is the elephant in the room. It's not about statistics, personality, or causes.

It's NARRATIVE ie "mainstream advice"

Who owns the narrative presently, and what does it say?

Men: it's your fault you...

Deserve it, you evil misogynist.
Your personality is the problem.
Your looks are the problem. Go to the gym
You are just not nice enough
You need to do the laundry
You dont respect women enough
You like to rape bears
You have testosterone
You're not tall enough
You're not rich enough
You aren't needed.
Guns make women good policemen and soldiers (LOL)
The policewomen will get there in time.....

Well shit men, if you're nice enough, kow tow and apologize for the patriarchy, allow an open relationship and dye your hair blue it'll all be good. If you cry a little and apologize for the patriarchy, maybe.

Fuck that. If the narrative is not your friend, what's a guy to do? Who writes this narrative anyway?

Mountain_Sand3135 · 2025-04-07T19:07:42+00:00

lets see

We want strong men, but dont tell us what to do or how to act or what to wear etc etc just be strong.

We want provider men but i wont do anything else for you except give you my time and you are lucky to be in my presence...also no kids included unless you get a nanny.

We want men to show emotions.....see item 1 OR as long as you are not a whimpering soft man who tells me his problems.

We want men to treat women like queens/princesses except do not treat your momma that way ...we hate momma boys.

Be decisive but let me micromanage you.

the list is long

So yes men embrace redpill because it is what MEN are suppose to be and should continue to be

AssPlay69420 · 2025-04-06T12:29:17+00:00

Men embrace red pill because it’s easier to say to yourself that “80% of women only go for 20% of men” than it is to say “I was rejected. Me.”

And real talk? Sometimes, you didn’t even do anything wrong. You were fine. And you still got rejected because… you’ll never know. Maybe she doesn’t either!

And that’s actual, raw life.

You hide behind “biological realities” and percentages because that’s less painful than being unwanted.

It’s understandable. But don’t confuse understandable with correct.

Grow up.

There’s not a formula. Shit happens.

Cry into a pillow, go to bed, wake up with some space in the morning and move forward.

Process pain. Everyone has to. The weakest thing you can actually do is bleed it all out onto other people.

Accomplished-Pin3073 · 2025-04-06T17:36:08+00:00

A lot of people don’t even understand what being “Redpill” is lol majority have it wrong

woodclip · 2025-04-06T10:08:37+00:00

Men embrace redpill because mainstream advice is dogshit

To be fair, redpill advice is also dogshit because it teaches that looks don't matter and that if you're successful enough or charming enough, you'll be able to attract women regardless of you how you look.

DGenerationMC · 2025-04-06T19:18:56+00:00

"The child who is not (feeling) embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth"

I wouldn't necessarily call mainstream advice "dogshit" or "not dogshit," but I definitely feel it's super inconvenient for some of these men compared to what redpill offers them.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-04-07T00:16:39+00:00

Yep, if they want to at the very least lessen redpill, they should atleast try to appeal to men’s issues and struggles, the message of “these losers need to pick themselves up by there bootstraps, since everyone elses problems are more important”, has only driven men away.

Im all for helping others but at some point, you can’t be surprised that men will look for other solutions to there problems, these guys are looking for some sort of reciprocation otherwise they start to rightfully feel like there being taken advantage of. if it ain’t gonna come from the ppl who claim to be for everyone, then don’t be surprised when they go somewhere else.

badgersonice · 2025-04-07T16:12:31+00:00

At least of red pill and black pill men buy into RP/KP stuff because it tells them what they want to hear most: that they’re victims of other people being bad, but that they’re actually superior and are entitled to better treatment.

Like, I even agree with some aspects of Red Pill stuff… but some of their stuff is clearly designed to debase women and make men feel better about themselves for being born male. They’re certainly not the first group to sell a message based on a desire to feel inherently superior to an outsider group.

It’s not about dating for some of them, sorry. Some of it is about hating on “uppity” women for not being submissive, apologetic, and grateful enough.

Existing-Bug-7910 · 2025-04-06T12:08:56+00:00

I can’t believe some men write stuff like this and then act surprised when no one wants to date them. They cling to redpill nonsense because it shifts the blame onto women’s “unrealistic” standards — when in reality, most women just want a decent guy who can take care of himself and treats them like a human being. That’s really not too much to ask from the average man.

alotofironsinthefire · 2025-04-06T13:05:38+00:00

Going by this sub. 90% of red pills are bitter divorcees or teens who have not grown out of their edge lord phase.

So mainstream advice doesn't work for them because it requires them to self reflect and work on their own skills

Solondthewookiee · 2025-04-06T12:22:13+00:00

Nah. Men embrace red pill because it lets them blame women.

"Oh red pill advice didn't work? It's because women are hypergamous alpha widows on the cock carousel who just want to beta buxx you so she can make you raise Chad's baby."

Lanaglu · 2025-04-06T10:23:35+00:00

I mean you chose to highlight stuff that isnt really even advice.

There is no single mainstream advice because there's no magic solution. But if you go to say the dating sub or just read here you'll find plenty of actual advice.

Now in cases like OP because their posts are unattractive and make a really bad impression if you make posts like that people will just assume that is the sole reason you are single, or they will just write you off as a lost cause. So you wont get good advice from it.

If this is who you are then yes beyond any other issues you have it will put women off.

DenverKim · 2025-04-06T12:23:48+00:00

The primary “mainstream” advice I hear for these men is to get off the apps, get out from behind the video games and start spending more time in the real world.

OP doesn’t even acknowledge that because most red pillers refuse to work up the motivation and courage to do that. They’ve become convinced that they should be able to just sit at home on their toilet scrolling through an online catalog of women and just pick whichever ones they want to be delivered for the mere price of a cup of coffee.

Men embrace red pill because it’s easier to blame others than it is to look within. They become bitter, angry, jealous, red pillers because it coddles them into believing that they have no power over their own lives. It gives them the excuse they need to take the easy path. Putting yourself out into the world, risking rejection, becoming a person other people want to be around… All that stuff is not easy, so they’re not interested.

No-Buy7459 · 2025-04-06T19:39:36+00:00

Being misogynistic was never a negative for me in terms of getting dates. For relationships yes it might be but for casual sex never

Hot-Law2682 · 2025-04-06T14:33:27+00:00

What is the mainstream? Who exactly is pushing this message?

Everyone is on the internet now, by age 13 you get tons of ads and recommendations for clothes, fitness programs, you see hot influencers, etc.

I cannot imagine growing up in the last 20 years and believing that your physical appearance is not important.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-04-06T12:26:23+00:00

swapping one pile of dogshit for another is probably not the best solution

most dating advice/redpill is too generic vague and simplistic to actually have any real meaning

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-04-06T13:45:56+00:00

Let’s be clear: Boys embrace RP because it appeals to edgy middle’s school adolescents and those with the emotional maturity of a preteen boy.

Here’s what a Real Life RP interaction with a RP influencer and his followers looks like

https://youtu.be/uZTQJdywvPI?si=adxwjQo-YLIqXTVI

https://youtube.com/shorts/Hpj8TKujM9A?si=gmZG1rZ0tG57SW0H

Let’s not pretend like everyone doesn’t know anymore: it’s 2025

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millenium-pigeon · 2025-04-07T17:22:26+00:00

IMO BP has a tendency to demonize normal behaviors like flirting, communicating desire implicitly, bold action.

Both sides agree on getting as rich and good looking as possible. BP just equates certain normal behaviors as wrong or at the very least more likely to cause harm than good.

We’re talking about communicating desire here. My heart breaks for people who feel like they are bad for feeling a romantic emotion towards someone and that it’s the best most virtuous option to just keep it to themselves.

Lovaloo · 2025-04-07T17:32:18+00:00

I think a more fair assessment is in order.

We are biological organisms. We aren't fixed, we're fluid. There's always room for improvement. The trouble is that nobody quite agrees on what "being better" entails. The red pill focuses on superficial elements, not core character.

Robotoverlordv1 · 2025-04-08T06:12:09+00:00

Back when I first learned about TRP I was blown away that every situation with a woman could be perfectly predicted. I've studied many RedPill books now and I literally can't miss with women. Last year I had 3 beautiful much younger women stalking me. I've had to change my motus operandi to be able to be left alone now.

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-04-09T14:04:31+00:00

You could be the average person but that's not enough for the average women.

This take can be seen from both the "women are too picky and always go for the absolute top guys, missing a bunch of nice ones" perspective, or the "men are too desperate and have no standards, going for any woman they can" perspective.

The fact of the matter is men want women more than women want men. I'd say it's largely due to biology, but it is what it is. Women also want men they're attracted to - maybe they have a narrower view of what's attractive, but I don't hear men being told to settle for someone they're not attracted to physically. It's harsh but it's either accept it or change. If women are happier being single than being with someone they deem below their league then let them, why would you wanna be with someone who settles for you anyway?

Sad_Bell_6266 · 2025-04-11T13:48:22+00:00

a lot of you are so far gone you think mainstream advice is bluepill even in the US.

reddit_is_geh · 2025-04-06T10:29:27+00:00

I was listening to a podcast the other day, I think Chris Williamson, and he made a really good point about mainstream advice for men. When it comes to masculinity basically they argue, "Masculinity is whatever you want it to be! You define it any way that makes you happy!" Which is, outright, dogshit advice.

So you have a generation of young men who don't even know what masculinity even is because it's been obfuscated and dilluted... 1000s of years of men developing masculinity in a way that attracts women, and now suddenly it's been dilluted to "it's all subjective". Thus, they never learn about it, never learn how to develop it, and then struggle with women as a result.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-04-06T11:35:30+00:00

If you are in good shape, have a good job, have a solid social circle, dress well, and are good at flirting, you can find a gf. And none of those things are something you’re innately born with.

Just_Natural_9027 · 2025-04-06T13:22:54+00:00

Men embrace red pill because those who grift in it find easily manipulated and impressionable groups to make money off of.

Usual-Revolution-718 · 2025-04-06T19:00:30+00:00

Mainstream media is geared toward women. They always had a biased toward marketing towards women because they are some of the biggest consumers, and guys will follow their lead.

For example, one of the best scam was the concept of engagement ring should cost 3x a man salary. Later, came the big wedding, expensive cars, and brand products.

The red pill was an idea of not being a mindless consumer. However, like Kurt Cobain's Nirvana the message became a way to sell products to men.

If you think about it, you had few products to men like prenups, traveling overseas, pick up artist, dna testing.

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2025-04-10T01:07:36+00:00

Tend to agree. The failure to acknowledge the big skews towards large muscles, money etc can tend to make young men struggling feel mistrustful.

The problem then of course is one that's common across rabbit holes: black and white thinking and all or nothing solutions. Just because there is reason to be cynical isn't necessarily a reason to adopt a whole bunch of polemically opposite positions.

So the big issues on what I perceive to be the red pill side of things, at least for an average guy (or "reddit average", ie frequently clearly unattractive but too proud to say so or clueless to recognise it) are self defeating ideas that many men on here clearly get up in their heads. Reminds me of how sometimes there can be a bit of an unhelpful thing among friends, where the guy that already gets lots of girls will put down trivial aspects of women's looks etc and end up hyping his lesser friends in reverse - so that they adopt unrealistic or unnecessary expectations and keep missing out.

So advice like work on yourself, your fitness, your presentation, take responsibility for maximising your appeal, as well as knowing your own worth and that you don't NEED a woman, all good.

The weird (and to me very, I don't know... American? Religious?) excessive focus on writing off women who don't meet certain 1920s marriagable factors: post adolescence (ie post mid 20s on the fuller definition), or writing off all single mums, or curvy women... well, this to me seems to build up a sense of extreme entitlement that is counterproductive. There is nothing in the male biological makeup (which a lot of them are focused on) that supports these biases, in the jungle we sought variety, not some hyper refined narrowly defined phenotype. These guys could be rolling around in the sack with a lovely lass, building their own confidence, having a laugh, and instead they are on here whining about how they can't get some and in the process, speaking about much of the female population like casts offs.

Technical_End9162 · 2025-04-06T10:21:54+00:00

We have been avoiding the truth as a society, the science of how men and women and women actually work

That’s the cause of all of this

The mainstream world has been lying to men their entire life, saying women are like angels biologically and in terms of personality, Then when they go through life and figure out that’s wrong, it’s easy to go down the rabbit hole and go extreme in the other direction, watching too much “red pill” content and believing women are the devil.

While both are not scientifically true

The scientific truth is often not as bad as you think

For example, yes women are biologically hypergamous, which is because they are biologically attracted to a man’s competence, so it’s not the money that’s the real attractive part, it’s the competence that it took to get the money that’s attractive, not really the money itself, But this attraction (hypergamy) doesn’t mean that your women will cheat on you like the red pill says if she looks at a richer man it’s just the same as a man who looks at a woman who is physically more attractive than his girlfriend, will he cheat? Depends on the person. It’s definitely not impossible to have a woman who is faithful for life

And yes women are sexually attracted to appearance, but you don’t have to be some 7’11” tall top 1% attractive guy. And even the average guy can take his appearance up to a huge degree if he knew what was biologically attractive, I know this because I used to be repulsive to a lot of woman appearance wise and now I’m attractive to them

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-06T10:39:20+00:00

I know that it can work the other way: a priori acceptance of an ideology that then shades your understanding of the basic facts. Nevertheless, there is also a sizable portion of men whose more inaccurate beliefs are underpinned by a possibly inaccurate understanding of the facts on the ground.

I think these facts are unclear in many possible dimensions, but progress forward should focus on first addressing the factual and empirical assertions in as unbiased a way as possible. What are the changes to dating and gender dynamics over the past decade, etc?

Orangejuicesquidd · 2025-04-06T17:16:33+00:00

Redpills make wild assumptions about women and hate them for a stereotype that they entirely made up. You guys self-admit that you don’t have experience with women, so what makes you think that you have the authority to psychoanalyze women in an antagonistic light because you’re mad that they won’t sleep with you.

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2025-04-06T20:49:48+00:00

Some men embrace red pill because "dominating women is your right and your destiny and the only reason you don't get to do that is because of the evils of feminism" is an incredibly appealing message to young men, especially the ones who are kinda stupid.

ta06012022 · 2025-04-06T19:51:58+00:00

You could be the average person but that's not enough for the average women. Redpill will say that you need to be better and that's not enough, be the top 10% or top 1%.

You clearly don't need to be top 10% or top 1% to get an average woman. That advice would indeed be dogshit.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-04-06T14:50:37+00:00

If mainstream advice works for the vast majority it is not dogshit

No one is surprised that men who are unsuccessful with women hate women

Title	Men embrace redpill because mainstream advice is dogshit
Author	BrightAutumn12
Upvotes	261
Comments	507
Date	April 6, 2025 9:22 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jsq7um/men_embrace_redpill_because_mainstream_advice_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-embrace-redpill-because-mainstream-advice-is.1548711 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548711

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