Ladies how do you plan to KeEp A mAn? Wrong answers only

shockingupdate · 2021-10-07T16:23:50+00:00

Of course his name is “King” 🙄

devilooo · 2021-10-07T17:01:40+00:00

How to keep a man? Always at a distance.

Seraphinx · 2021-10-07T16:24:51+00:00

"King"

Yeah that's a no from me dawg

SakuraGirl88 · 2021-10-07T16:53:49+00:00

Wtf is "maintain"? Am I a landscaper now? If you don't know how to wash yo balls, put on deodorant, and shave by now you're not the one for me. Maintain ya damn self 🤦🏽‍♀️ GTFOH.

Mimosa_usagi · 2021-10-07T16:33:21+00:00

My tool for keeping a man is not wanting men around.

InaneObservations · 2021-10-07T16:54:00+00:00

He's here to create relationships. So he doesn't see the point of demonstrating basic etiquette or fundamental interpersonal skills. What do those have to do with anything? NOW ONTO THE QUESTIONS

vforvendetta87 · 2021-10-07T16:56:40+00:00

He’s talking down to you. Condescending. 🤢

huevos_and_whiskey · 2021-10-07T17:02:15+00:00

How to keep a man? What, like in a terrarium? A little wheel for him to run on and some hay

DallasM19 · 2021-10-07T16:24:08+00:00

And then he tipped his smelly fedora and sucked the cool ranch Dorota dust of his fingers.

No one wants to keep you, or your lack of social prowess, Sir Musty Neckbeard. Get outta here.

apommom · 2021-10-07T16:17:47+00:00

They really think if they force flip the script hard enough then they become the prize 😂

barbellvalkyrie · 2021-10-07T16:05:49+00:00

Man maintenence tools? 🚫 Scrote disposal skills? ✅🚮

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-10-07T16:05:53+00:00

O M G

He needs to fuck alllllllllll the way off a cliff.

thisissomeshitman · 2021-10-07T16:28:17+00:00

In the fucking basement where they belong

motokos_ghost · 2021-10-07T16:58:17+00:00

just another scrote speaking like its the fucking 18th century 🥴

europoor24 · 2021-10-07T16:09:14+00:00

Give him the grocery store coupons I receive when I do my weekly shop and call it a date/present.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2021-10-07T16:15:27+00:00

Yes this is a completely innocent inquiry🥴

Hahahahahaha! Bye Felicia!

Constant-Wanderer · 2021-10-07T17:52:55+00:00

Saran wrap and a really large freezer.

They keep for months that way.

Flufferly · 2021-10-07T17:12:54+00:00

"In the bin" is the correct answer to this particular specimen.

catlady4u · 2021-10-07T17:22:59+00:00

On a short leash, with a muzzle on

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-07T17:59:51+00:00

There’s nothing you can do to keep a man. A man will stay for one of two reasons: - You’re useful to him (mommy mcbangmaid) And/Or - You’re what he’s looking for and he thinks he can fall in love with you

Men can’t and don’t clearly articulate what they’re looking for in a woman partner but they know it when they see it, and if a man wants to leave, he will leave and you shouldn’t offer any resistance because nothing you do will make him want to stay.

A man who stays just because you’re useful to him always has one foot out the door too just in case his dream girl comes along.

Men who ask this question are just irritating. There’s no answer you can give them that will satisfy them, their ultimate goal is to put you down no matter how you respond, and tell you you don’t have what it takes.

misandryisnotreal · 2021-10-07T17:15:47+00:00

Whenever some weirdo sends that kind of overly formal BS, I congratulate him on using a thesaurus so that he can express his big feelings more accurately, and then I block. Ruin his day, sis

Spittens · 2021-10-07T17:16:39+00:00

Innocent question my ass.

I'll keep this one at the bottom of a pit.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-10-07T17:25:21+00:00

I like how he thinks it’s his right to decide “what’s appealing to females” or what’s not.

How about no.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-10-07T16:40:36+00:00

A man will never be the prize sorry I don’t make the rules!

PossibleCook · 2021-10-07T16:21:37+00:00

The best way to keep a man is to flip the script and oppress them for centuries since the beginning of civilization. Also something about them making us sandwiches??

Edit: I’m glad so many of you are on board with my elaborate plan to get sandwiches!!! Mwahahaha

SadPersonality8576 · 2021-10-07T16:22:06+00:00

Blockie blockie block block block

Drpyroxene · 2021-10-07T16:05:26+00:00

feEmay-YuLs 🙄

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-07T16:46:33+00:00

I don’t need to keep em if they truly are hvm they will stick with me and my dreams and if not better

jupitaur9 · 2021-10-07T16:14:49+00:00

To keep a man, you have to first throw away all the boys that pretend to be men.

Zeniite · 2021-10-07T17:23:58+00:00

Honestly I would have been tempted to tell him everything he would want to hear, from all the cooking, cleaning, doting, and sexing. And then…unmatch/block and peace out ✌️

andwhenwillitbegin · 2021-10-07T18:05:11+00:00

Correcting their grammar. “Enquiry” not “inquiry”, idiot. Unless he was actually opening a formal investigation. 🙄He thought he sounded so erudite. 🤡🤣

smaller_ang · 2021-10-07T16:59:41+00:00

Just want to say first that I hate small talk and hate this question equally.

Ok, onto my answer. Well I have a very deep dark closet under the stairs that I could padlock shut.

prettyexcitingnews · 2021-10-07T16:49:09+00:00

What a tool he is

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-10-07T16:37:22+00:00

Females 😭

OnlyPaperListens · 2021-10-07T17:44:52+00:00

If you need maintenance, I'm great at oil changes, but I don't think you're going to like where I'll put the filter.

PicoPicoMio · 2021-10-07T17:51:55+00:00

This man wanted her to immediately submit into pickmeisha mode. The entitlement.

PizzaNo7741 · 2021-10-07T16:41:56+00:00

He talks like he’s out in space encountering an alien lifeform.

CountingDownTheDays5 · 2021-10-07T16:28:25+00:00

Any black man name king is trash. I said it IDGAF if you like it.

warinmymind94 · 2021-10-07T16:53:05+00:00

I HATE the small talk how r u and good morning shit especially when there are plenty of topics in my profile (a fun fact, the field i work in, and travel - I would rather than ask me about any of those and then it also shows they took time to read and send me something they put effort into) But this whole "keeping a man" thing is so msyogynisyic and toxic. Keeping a house is the only thing that you should actually have to work to keep- financially you're working to pay for the house and the bills, you work to keep it maintained, you work to keep it clean and you work to make it comfy and feel like a "home" rather than a dorm or neckbeard nest. We don't "keep a man" if any man requires WORK than we toss away the whole man.

NotYourCirce · 2021-10-07T17:06:37+00:00

Maybe brick him up in a wall?

revengeofgivingtree · 2021-10-07T17:40:02+00:00

I try to "keep" men away from me lmao

XNjunEar · 2021-10-07T17:00:10+00:00

Why would I want a kept man? I like men who work.

missisabelarcher · 2021-10-07T17:23:03+00:00

Never trust a man who calls women "females."

miloba_ · 2021-10-07T17:04:30+00:00

How do I plan on keeping a man like this, he wonders?

As far away from me as possible.

Edit: Ah yes, the lurkers are alive and well. Apparently this comment was reported for self-harm 🤣 Thanks for the laugh!

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-10-07T18:42:53+00:00

Tell me you’re an emotionally stunted misogynist with poor social skills without telling me you’re an emotionally stunted misogynist with poor social skills…

2021-10-07T17:32:16+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Colour_riot · 2021-10-07T17:40:06+00:00

I'm almost willing to bet that this is an AI chatbot in learning mode.

libralia · 2021-10-07T17:40:20+00:00

I bet he’s a giver in the sack. /s Immediate nope!

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-07T17:34:37+00:00

The “females” was just the cherry on top 👌

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-10-07T18:14:20+00:00

You “keep” him by ghosting every single one that doesn’t want to act right. The first time they try it. Forever.

The right one will keep you.

eagleverest · 2021-10-07T17:15:52+00:00

Tell me which Kool-Aid this specimen drank from

anotherdamnloser · 2021-10-07T17:31:19+00:00

I keep men in my underground dungeon See is oily though what did you say? Blocked?

sleepysiri · 2021-10-07T18:10:46+00:00

im a guy I talk fancy because im smart 🤡 just say you have no communication skills and don’t actually like women and move on

Hateorade_ · 2021-10-07T16:43:47+00:00

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢

PizzaNo7741 · 2021-10-07T16:44:15+00:00

What’s incredible about human biology is that we are organically maintaining our own damn selves day after day, breath after breath. That is the grand mystery of life. So like, sounds like he needs to see a doctor. Does he have COVID? Damnit man, I’m a woman not a breathing tube!

CatlovesMoca · 2021-10-07T17:34:43+00:00

Females 🙄

NemesisNoire · 2021-10-07T17:25:21+00:00

first thing that comes to mind is my fully automatic .22 caliber nail gun, 😘. but I have all kinds of lovely power tools in my she shed.... Looks like he definitely needs to be weedwacked then blasted by a leafblower, but iIm not wasting gas on that.

This scene from the wire explains it well--> The Wire | Snoop Buys A Nailgun

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-10-07T17:40:15+00:00

Is he a car lmao

Aksentia_Ivanovitcha · 2021-10-07T18:05:53+00:00

Water them once a week and dont forget to open the blinds every morning so they can get as much sunlight as possible.

BlackGirlKnickers · 2021-10-07T18:24:39+00:00

Someone’s been subscribing to Kevin Samuels. I bet you he thinks he’s a high value alpha male too.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-10-07T18:44:15+00:00

Marvel at my logic, fEmAle!

aquietsword · 2021-10-07T19:10:12+00:00

Thanks to the ladies that always point out how men are really trying to flip the script and become the prize when that's the furthest thing from the natural order of things. It's so obvious now and it just gives me the ick when I see it happen.

pennynotrcutt · 2021-10-07T17:07:30+00:00

In chains in the basement.

madamejesaistout · 2021-10-07T17:51:32+00:00

My plan is to keep a man like this out of my house!

giftofnocondemnation · 2021-10-07T17:59:23+00:00

Yes let’s try and keep our oppressor . We just thrive on a mans leash 🙄🙄

uwillneverfindmeirl · 2021-10-07T18:02:27+00:00

I love his attempts to use big words in order to sound smarter than he is. Pathetic…

SmallBunny0 · 2021-10-07T19:44:03+00:00

I never know what kind of answer they are expecting. I saw a conversation on Twitter happen about this and the lady said “sex, cook, clean, maintain the house, full time job, conversational, fun” and the man said “I can get a prostitution and a maid, and I have friends and don’t care about your money. What else do you offer?” Like?? They are delusional

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-10-07T16:44:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

spacebound232 · 2021-10-07T18:45:04+00:00

He sounds so boring, and the way he is talking has that “I’m smarter than you” attitude. Instant turn off and instant block. Byyyyeeee

Typical_Candle_5627 · 2021-10-07T19:24:57+00:00

lmFaooooooooo i cannot with this omg. making assumption about what “females” want and then asking how to maintain a full grown MAN??? i’m dying hahahahah what rock are these scrotes crawling out from under? like sir do you know who else is in my inbox?

IvyLeagueButt · 2021-10-07T19:39:42+00:00

My local man shelter won't let me keep another man because apparently you're not supposed to keep your man tied to a post 😥

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-10-07T18:14:05+00:00

My plan is to “create a relationship” through the use of “small chat and monotonous discussion” aka talking to him.

Also, why does he sound like he swallowed a thesaurus and a 19-century guide on deportment and etiquette?

pugaczalla · 2021-10-07T18:26:03+00:00

And we all know that there will be at least one pickmeisha who will bend over backwards for this ‘king’…

DuchessDurag · 2021-10-07T19:09:54+00:00

He’s implying that he is the prize 😂 Its quite obvious that he has a lot of baggage to bring to a relationship and is wondering what poor woman is going to tolerate his bullshit.

the-worst- · 2021-10-07T19:21:44+00:00

Keep them? Keeping them 6 ft away from me, at the least.

Muffcakelord · 2021-10-07T19:59:35+00:00

I place him in hot water with a little vinegar every night after a long day's use before i rub him with a rust-fighting sponge and oil him up for the night so that he may rise as a new tool the next day

cherry_blossom_szn · 2021-10-07T18:12:54+00:00

"this is a completely innocent inquiry" NO ITS NOT YOU FUCKING INCEL

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-10-07T18:09:44+00:00

You keep them by chaining them to the radiator? Believe it or not, they love it 😏😁

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-10-07T18:51:05+00:00

Feeeemaaalleeesss!

Ew.

What a creep

iamnotyourgirl · 2021-10-07T19:00:38+00:00

Why would I want to keep the whole man? I just keep their dicks. In a mason jar. Full of formaldehyde. I have a dozen now. Wanna come over 🙃

smolsunrise · 2021-10-07T19:26:36+00:00

Hahahaha holy shit

I’ve heard so much stuff like this in person, feels good to know I’m not alone

ferociouslycurious · 2021-10-07T18:05:57+00:00

I keep a variety of deceased animals in my fridge and freezer in various stages of slaughter for the purpose of feeding the animals that take up all of my spare time. My other animals are loud and/or annoying which is very much on purpose. I make all the decisions, the man can like it or leave. And if he stays there’s a long chore list. It gets longer every day.

valleycupcake · 2021-10-07T18:22:40+00:00

With a ball and chain, obviously.

pqrsthrowawayyyyy · 2021-10-07T18:41:12+00:00

Maintain like a tarantula in a glass box maintain?

kangaskhaniscubones · 2021-10-07T18:42:18+00:00

I just exist, and they line up.

99power · 2021-10-07T18:45:50+00:00

I intend to keep him with formaldehyde. No, I am not taking any questions.

cupcakezncookiez · 2021-10-07T19:01:46+00:00

My favorite tool to keep a man is a shovel. Whack him on the head, burry him in the yard. He will stay forever.

Ok_Neighborhood_6971 · 2021-10-07T19:26:55+00:00

Y'all I got my first reddit care package!

23eggz · 2021-10-07T20:07:38+00:00

I usually keep my men in vinegar with salts and spices in a jar for winter :)

slanid · 2021-10-07T18:31:10+00:00

Rest assured that every single conversation with him will be just as indignant and pretentious. What a helpful warning signal he just gave.

spacebound232 · 2021-10-07T18:43:40+00:00

Yuck 🤢

Antique_Fortune6974 · 2021-10-07T19:09:22+00:00

Seems like a common thing for guys to want to come off as "geniuses" or something ,because of their wording with things...like no one speaks like that in real life. 🙄

PokePrincess95 · 2021-10-07T19:30:56+00:00

“Big fancy words make me feel smart”

preppykat3 · 2021-10-07T18:34:50+00:00

Hmmm... i’d say by making him scrub my toilet of course 😌

2021-10-07T17:36:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

InayahDaneen · 2021-10-07T18:24:11+00:00

The best way to keep a man is to spend his money. As a man You’ll feel more useful when you pay my bills. 💅🏻

AuntieSaurusRex · 2021-10-07T18:50:41+00:00

*forego I have yet to see any of these interactions without spelling and grammar errors.

BananaSlugGhost · 2021-10-07T20:23:35+00:00

This is like standing out front of a 5 star restaurant and calling people stupid for not just coming out back and eating out of the dumpster

dancedancedance7 · 2021-10-07T20:43:55+00:00

Hahaha. A bear trap 🪤 and a soundproofed basement. Inb4 FBI.

Title	Ladies how do you plan to KeEp A mAn? Wrong answers only
Author	Ok_Neighborhood_6971
Upvotes	955
Comments	154
Date	October 7, 2021 3:57 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3c5d7/ladies_how_do_you_plan_to_keep_a_man_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/ladies-how-do-you-plan-to-keep-a-man-wrong-answers.1076884 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076884

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