The average men does not want the average women (in the US)

AquaChip · 2022-07-01T13:13:09+00:00

I love how people here pretend that American men aren’t just as fat.

teball3 · 2022-07-01T13:30:50+00:00

That 20% statistic came from a famous study done by okcupid. That study said that women only rate about 20% of men attractive, but the same study said that men rate about 60% of women as attractive. I think a big reason for your misunderstanding here is that 80% might medically be overweight, but the average american guy isn't using that same level of rigor in identifying someone as overweight.

editing for confusion: I came to this post when it was just posted to clear up OP's misconception about the 20% thing, PPD men, and hypocrisy. Check my flair, I do not actually believe there is terrible hypergamy BS. If your going to try to debate me out of a position, at least let it be one I actually believe in.

mcove97 · 2022-07-01T13:28:32+00:00

The CDC says roughly 40% of US women aged 20-39 are obese.

It’s probably not a perfect conversion, but “The preferred obesity metric in scholarly circles is the body fat percentage… Levels in excess of 32% for women and 25% for men are generally considered to indicate obesity”.

And again, not perfect, but here’s some general examples of women at different body fat percentages.

So the “average” woman in the US would be slightly thinner than the lady in the zebra print swimsuit. I’m sure some guys would turn that down, but probably not the average guy.

GoonyGhoul_ · 2022-07-01T13:53:53+00:00

Have you seen men? More than half of us are fat. Stop stuffing your face with bread/pasta and sweets. If you want slimmer, fitter, or more slim-thick partners, 90% of the time you're going to have to reflect this in yourself unless you're paying for it. This post is delusional.

BumblingBeta · 2022-07-01T14:18:48+00:00

Why do you measure average in terms of only one metric - obesity?

renfsu · 2022-07-01T15:28:14+00:00

I see this "men dislike overweight women" argument a lot, yet I rarely see overweight women that struggle to find men. Those women aren't with the most attractive men but they still have plenty of options. I've seen some very unattractive belly-hanging-out women and they still have a man, sometimes fat sometimes skinny.

Most guys have low standards. Ugly women still have options. Fat women still have options. Vast majority of women who complain about a lack of options are still getting approached. They just believe that they are better than the guys that are approaching them.

yamb97 · 2022-07-01T13:51:59+00:00

I think the men in this sub just aren’t really representative of most men irl, or their opinion of “overweight” doesn’t necessarily match up with BMI. Most men I know aren’t really super picky especially over a few pounds.

2022-07-01T14:07:08+00:00

I am not fat, therefore I do not want a fat woman. So yes, you are correct.

wtknight · 2022-07-01T13:59:40+00:00

The average man is also overweight. The data are skewed because most of those who are overweight are older and not in the age range of fit men who are seeking out partners. There are plenty of fit young women to satisfy these men.

Overweight women only really becomes a problem when older men are trying to date, but many of these men are balding and overweight themselves, so they are basically getting attractiveness matches. The fewer fit older men have plenty of options as they can date somewhat younger women who might be fitter, or they can find the women their age who are still fit. So in the end, I don’t think that it’s a big issue.

So to challenge your view, the average young men still wants the average young woman, and this has always been the primary dating market out there. And even if the average young woman is slightly heavier these days, young men don’t mind a bit of extra weight. They are desperate and horny enough to not care.

Hoopy223 · 2022-07-01T13:51:32+00:00

Do you ever leave the house? You know how you see couples everywhere that are kind of ordinary, kind of fat, kind of ugly? They’re everywhere.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-07-01T14:11:40+00:00

Look up the stats on any dating app and you'll see just how much more forgiving guys are with looks than women are. Men "like" a much larger proportion of women's profiles than women "like" men's profiles.

A simple Google search blows this post clean out of the water.

Thiccsmartie · 2022-07-01T16:16:34+00:00

The thing is, i have seen lots of unnatractive men with good personalities/sense of humour with stunning girls, i have seen under average girls with objectively better looking men. It is actually all about chemistry, no lie. Tbh, any 4-5 of any gender could get with a 6-7 long term, given the chemistry is there. Love is hormonal, not plastic. There is also the way someone speaks, carries themselves, mannerism, common interests, similar views, hobbies, how enjoyable their company is, intimacy, closeness etc.

Rook_Cross · 2022-07-01T17:41:58+00:00

The average is 5. Men do not want 5s, even thin 5s. It also depends on the age range you're looking at, race, education attainment, income. The number of dating age people who are overweight is not the same in all groups and it's about 40% not 80%. Looking at porn, instagram, etc. has also warped male expectations. Males overrating themselves also leads them to believe they deserve someone "out of their league". The average woman is average, not obese, but not the 7-10 they are after and believe they are entitled to, and multiple ones at that. They are upset because they want a fantasy and are stuck in reality.

TotalTravesty · 2022-07-01T13:10:03+00:00

It’s not hypocrisy as much as it is sour grapes. And a tactic to try to guilt women down to their level. “You suck, you’re ugly, you’re fat, you’re no prize. You should be dating meeeeeeee!”

I don’t think the average PPD dude even knows what an average woman is anymore. Ask them how the average woman spends their time or what the average woman’s hobbies are and their answers will tell you that their most consistent exposure to women is via Instagram thirst traps.

learn2earn89 · 2022-07-01T14:29:00+00:00

This is true. I have a good body, ok face but the only guys who go for me are significantly older or chubby/fat. I don’t mind this necessarily but I wish men in here would own up to it.

bsmith440 · 2022-07-01T14:41:43+00:00

I think the difference isn't relationship, it's more about sex.

Their argument is 90% of women can get laid with little to no effort. Now that isn't the same for a relationship, probably 60% of women can get a relationship with little to no effort.

About 20% of men can get sex with little to no effort and 50% could get a relationship with little effort.

This place is bad about blurring the lines with relationship vs sex.

python834 · 2022-07-01T15:06:36+00:00

Fat people are fucking disgusting.

Some fat people have the genetics to be 9s and 10s if they put in the effort to slim down, but more likely than not, this will never happen.

I will say that big cities typically have slimmer and more athletic people than anything beyond the big city.

Steakman1 · 2022-07-01T16:11:05+00:00

I think things like social media have created a false image of what average is to both men and women. I think it’s to a slightly higher degree with women because they have greater chances at interacting with the above average men they see on social media. They also have a greater chance at getting multiple actual average people trying to hit them up which could inflate how desirable they see themselves.

But all it takes for me is to go on Instagram, Snapchat discover, or YouTube for like 30 seconds to find some picture of a gorgeous woman in a bikini or doing something that looks slightly sexual. And I’m not even going out of my way to find that stuff. But a lack of interaction in the real world along with all that exposure could create a false reality that women who look like that are extremely common.

Similar thing with women. Yea you have 10+ average guys hitting you up to hopefully land some easy sex all the time on social media. Also you sometimes get a message from a good looking guy seeking the same thing. But how many guys are approaching you in real life and/or are trying to achieve something with you beyond sex?

2022-07-02T02:09:05+00:00

Modern "women": MEN THINK WITH THEIR PENII, THEY WILL FUCK ANYTHING WITH A HOLE!

Also modern "women": ^{this post.}

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2022-07-02T04:54:02+00:00

For this reason I started working out. At least I can't be called a hypocrite when I say I don't want a fatty.

smuthound1 · 2022-07-01T13:22:40+00:00

I agree. I want a non fat woman to date and eventually marry, but statistically if I do get married then I'm getting married to someone far fatter than I'd like. It does suck quite a bit.

Real talk, the body positivity movement wrt obesity and fatness has been such a boon to fat women and a loss for the average guy and American health at large. Because now you've got mostly liberal media pushing the "healthy at any size" message even when everyone knows that's not the case, and removing that niggling sense of doubt in the back of fat women and men's minds saying, "hm, maybe I shouldn't eat fries everyday with lunch, maybe I shouldn't drink a large size pop with every meal", and replaced that with feel good bullshit that doesn't actually improve anything material.

And everyone's just going to keep getting fatter. I've seen pictures in the 70s and 80s and it's weird to see so many skinny people and how much more attractive everyone, guys and girls, look when they're at a healthy weight.

nicethingyoucanthave · 2022-07-01T19:33:48+00:00

Here’s my attempt to change your view:

80% of women in america are overweight

This is hilariously wrong. You really should google this before posting an entire thread based on it. Also, be sure to break it down by age because nobody gives a shit if 50 year old women are overweight

Ylduts · 2022-07-01T13:10:10+00:00

I’ve dated outside the US. US women are chubby and have an inflated view of themselves. Not wanting someone obese is not extreme.

DJBurpz · 2022-07-01T17:25:10+00:00

Honestly I think you're right, but that also just points out how low the bar is for women.

Don't eat like a cow and go for a walk everyday - Bam, you're in the top 20%.

Women complain about impossible beauty standards but all they have to do to be top tier is not be fat, which honestly is not that freaking hard to do.

Women have their sexual indicators on full display naturally (tits, curves, ass, ect). Men have to work to show of their sexual indicators (strengh, muscles, ect) and to do that they need to endure extremely intense workouts AND eat an incredibly strict diet if they want to show off. Who has impossible beauty standards again?

So, no I don't think calling it "hypocrisy" is accurate because it isn't comparing apples to apples.

revente · 2022-07-01T17:59:48+00:00

fat/chubby/overweight/obese/whateveryouwannacall

Average as middlepoint between hot and ugly. A 6-7/10.

Not statistical average.

Nobody wants to date someone unhealthy.

mediumbonebonita · 2022-07-01T20:19:16+00:00

Are 80% of women in the US overweight? That statistic made me laugh. I don’t think it’s true but funny none the less.

2022-07-01T22:10:15+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Nihi1986 · 2022-07-02T01:16:12+00:00

The average men is sexually attracted to most women. Sexual attraction isn't really enough to make a relationship work for a long time, doesn't even mean he wants a serious relationship with that particular woman.

I don't have data to back it up but I'd say the average man feels sexually attracted to many women and truly wants a relationship with top 20% of women if not less.

Let's be honest, modern women at best are usually good for sex and not much more, and modern men are probably good for nothing in their eyes. For the most part it's a selfish and individualistic society, it's difficult to truly like everything about other people.

Unsure about the US, I keep hearing about obesse people but it seems there are plenty of fit people there. Are you sure that around 80% of women there are so overweight? Anyway, overweight women can be quite attractive too.

Peacesquad · 2022-07-02T04:31:32+00:00

Only 40% of women in America are obese. I don’t know where you got 80% from lol

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-07-01T14:19:28+00:00

The amount of dudes in the replies

Yeah but 80% choose above average!!

Yet not a single link quoted.

Interesting how that okcupid thing has become such a talking point they think they can now just claim it as fact with zero to actually back it up.

NOTSM · 2022-07-01T13:15:31+00:00

The average dating age woman (18-35) in the US has a BMI of roughly 27, which would translate to 5'4" and 155ish

I don't think the average slightly chubby dude would have an issue dating an average slightly chubby woman.

-passepar2t- · 2022-07-01T13:11:01+00:00

I don't want the average overweight woman, it's true.

But if the country was thin, I would go for an average woman with averagely plain facial features.

_VenusKitty_ · 2022-07-01T13:50:50+00:00

I feel like being average as men doesn't require as much as being average as a woman. Who actually made that up? 😂 I don't think women set the bar for this. Like the "average woman" is still way more attractive that the "average men" in my books. They aren't many ugly/unattractive woman out there in my opinion,they also put a way more effort into their looks in general. While there are dudes who wash themselves with a 3 in 1 Shampoo. Not to mention the behavior from a lot of men,like the bar is on the floor.🙄

jacare_o · 2022-07-01T14:06:40+00:00

As a man I agree. I don't want most women I find on dating sites. Most are "fat", and most are radical feminists. The downsides are more than the upsides. Thinking about paying a surrogate mother to have children.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-07-01T14:31:47+00:00

No, over 60 % of women are married, and the average woman’s age is 39.

While this does mean that the amount of women in the dating range is smaller, it also means more women between the ages of 18-32 are actually in better shape and available ( since we know weight gain is correlated both to marriage and aging)

SgllsTaklnDux · 2022-07-01T14:39:17+00:00

All I know is chub gives me a chub.

OP, you look attractive, for the record. Don't doubt yourself.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-07-01T16:36:13+00:00

Lol good point

ViktorPatterson · 2022-07-02T02:39:22+00:00

That tells you all that talk about only dating the top 20% is just that, talk. After they get off their horses, take a good look at reality and realize they are going to live alone for the rest of their lives they have no other choice but to lower their expectations. Is just whining and throwing fits for a couple of decades.

Synovexh001 · 2022-07-01T14:31:00+00:00

Let's talk about this false equivalence.

Men get dismissed by women for height, bone structure, penis size etc., all factors that they really can't change so they're pretty much doomed to be anything more than a fallback once a woman's old enough to get through her 'bad boy phase'.

Women get dismissed for being overweight, toxic behavior, promiscuous past etc., all factors under their control. 80% of American women don't need to be overweight, the average woman could be tomboy-athletic and men near and far would rejoice.

The average woman could be attractive enough to satisfy almost any man. The average man will always get the advice 'just make it easy for women to pretend you don't exist until the high-status men are bored of us.'

We are not the same.

NelsonManswella · 2022-07-01T14:38:04+00:00

y’all keep talking like the average woman is some beast looking person like Rasputia from Norbit when reality is that the figure of the average woman is more closer to an Adele.

i.e. they’re just fuller figured women. OBESE women are what y’all have in mind when y’all say overweight.

AVERAGE men want AVERAGE women. it’s the AVERAGE women that struggle finding AVERAGE men attractive.

Cjaylyle · 2022-07-01T15:40:21+00:00

Its 2030

Your wife resents you, barely has sex with you and sometimes recoils when you go to touch her involuntarily.

Shes 35. 10 years ago she went around to a guys house, an hour drive, at 2am, just so he could drunkenly fill her with cum, choking her and dominating her with his muscular body. He then fell asleep and didn't text the next day.

Sometimes she masturbates about that guy and then walks into your bedroom and sees YOU.

This SOUNDS like parody, like satire, but the FACT THIS IS ACTUALLY COMMON is a disconnect between men who wised up and the ignorant and lucky that we will never come to an understanding on.

2022-07-01T14:25:36+00:00

Well yes, I also notice that men who have less options might actually be more ”picky”. Or rather, they are willing to settle but they adjust their preference not based on real women because they don’t have much experience, but with some really weird extreme pornography or Instagram. Not even normal one as most women I’ve seen there are pretty but normal looking.

Neptune-Jr · 2022-07-01T16:09:53+00:00

Overweight and fat are 2 different things. Also tons of guy will happily date fat women. This idea that guys will only want super model 0/10 is totally a projection you guys are trying to push, then in the same breathe try to shame guys for not having any standards and "Humping anything that moves". Pick a side people.

Thiccsmartie · 2022-07-01T13:06:46+00:00

When most Americans say fat they mean at least obese and perhaps morbidly obese by public health standards.

Technically overweight is not fat anywhere except in modeling. Many sex symbol actresses are technically overweight.

Slight_Fig5187 · 2022-07-01T23:31:50+00:00

Let's be realistic here. The average woman is not beautiful and attractive enough to make most guys stare, chase and want to date them.

Now if they looked like a calendar model like Lucy Pinder then that would be another story. But for some reason those women keep being single( Lucy Pinder is single by the way)

Thiccsmartie · 2022-07-01T13:03:51+00:00

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daproest1 · 2022-07-01T14:37:12+00:00

Fat/chubby shouldn’t be the average woman. This country is sick. It’s not hypocrisy unless the men you’re talking about are also overweight

Mikeadoo500 · 2022-07-01T14:02:27+00:00

Yeah was gonna say 80% of women aren’t overweight I’d say maybe only 25% of women are over the weight that MOST men see as acceptable The body standard for females is very reasonable from most men May be time to start expanding your dating pool if you are being body shamed as an average women

Diealoneintheend · 2022-07-01T14:58:07+00:00

I don't know if I answering your question or not or if it helps I would not go for the 20% women. And what you said about the women being plus size or what you want to call it. I wouldn't mind having a women like that because what's every women is beautiful in their own way . And they say whats on the inside really matters. Nots what's on the outside. But like I said every woman has thier own appealing style. That's what I think as a dude but I can't speak for all men because every guy is different.

shockedpikachu123 · 2022-07-01T16:27:30+00:00

Most people think they are entitled to someone better than them

Gawernator · 2022-07-01T23:19:17+00:00

Men will still smash if she is chubby or not that hot, especially in a dry spell or drunk etc. The standard is pretty low for that. Now dating and marrying is a different story.

BoopEverySnoot · 2022-07-02T02:51:45+00:00

As a 5’4, 167 pound woman I think it’s offensive you think that’s fat/obese. Some of us work out and have some muscle tone.

Patrickstarho · 2022-07-01T14:37:58+00:00

I live in California and I don’t see obese women like y’all do. I bet in Texas every girl is fat. Not here.

Get rekt op

MickIsBlue · 2022-07-01T13:33:16+00:00

Not true at all. 80 percent of Americans are not overweight. And most men are ok with dating a woman who might is slightly overweight. I'm talking a woman being like 5ft6 160 -180 pound range.

It's starts to be really unnattractive in the 190 plus ramge

AidsVictim · 2022-07-01T14:54:20+00:00

I fuck chubby/fat women despite bodybuilding for a decade because that's most women and majority of women I match with on OLD.

I'm not going to LTR and have kids with these women because they are physically unhealthy and that's often reflected in their lifestyles. You're starting from an unhealthy basis for developing a family which is not something I would inflict on children.

If men here are skinny, or simply not fat, it's fine for them to go for not fat women. Technically it makes them top whatever % and they're going for their "looksmatch" which is where I think the majority complaining and bitterness comes from - it's very difficult to get your body/looksmatch for many men which is what most men want.

Women here love to claim this is some crazy hypocrisy and equivalent to wanting to fuck Instagram model 10's.

ThorLives · 2022-07-02T01:15:28+00:00

This post is cringe. I had to check if it was purge week. Lookup statistics on how often men and women swipe right on each other. There's a big difference. Men are much more permissive about who they'll swipe right on.

2022-07-01T13:40:42+00:00

80% of American women are overweight?!

I doubt it but talk about women between 18-35 . Of course , most old women are going to be overweight

ruboyuri · 2022-07-01T14:22:53+00:00

No, but he will fuck her or a sandwich in a pinch if he’s horny and desperate, so apparently there’s no hypocrisy

lostlito · 2022-07-01T17:35:41+00:00

The average men will have sex with an average woman, which is fat/chubby/overweight/obese/whateveryouwannacall, since that's the ultimate goal for men, in general. And women are the "gate-holders" to that.

But the average man don't necessarily wanna be with the same women that they have casual sex with, but will ultimately settle for that because the option pool is slim. Most women want to be in a relationship, which is their ultimate goal, but still refuse to settle.

M_LaSalle · 2022-07-01T21:39:05+00:00

It's not hypocrisy. Female hypergamy is rooted in biology. Women in general are the way they are because they are biologically hard wired to be that way. Hypergamy is an evolutionary advantage to the continuance of the species.

American women specifically are the way they are because they eat to damn much, what they eat is mostly crap, and they won't exercise. The slovenly dress and bad ink don't help either. Worst of all, the "Body Positivity" goblins have convinced them that they look OK.

Average men are unattractive because they are average. American women average fairly unattractive because they made themselves that way. The average woman should be appealing to most men. You don't have to be a supermodel to get guys. Just don't be a slob, and don't be a {][DELETED]*

*Deleted to avoid the Reddit Police

Thiccsmartie · 2022-07-01T13:20:46+00:00

If yes, isn’t this hypocrisy?

No, it's preference. A healthy preference.

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-07-01T17:32:42+00:00

being not overweight doesnt make you a top20% woman. are you delusional? being not overweight is something that i can expect from everybody because you can control your weight. but you cant control your inches/your height/your face what women expect from men.

Title	The average men does not want the average women (in the US)
Author	Thiccsmartie
Upvotes	267
Comments	485
Date	July 1, 2022 1:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vp0beq/the_average_men_does_not_want_the_average_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-average-men-does-not-want-the-average-women-in.1121848 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121848

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