Brother’s school has a bizarre prom rule

eveloe · 2021-03-26T13:15:52+00:00

Call the local news desk. This is one of those stories that goes viral.

If there are local celebrities, contact them as well. Conservative, liberal, across the board, people don’t want their daughters going with the first loser that asks.

ihavenoideadwhatimdo · 2021-03-26T12:26:45+00:00

Find a local journalist and shame them publicly

nebsemi · 2021-03-26T12:20:39+00:00

The girls should reject all the boys and then not attend the prom. It becomes an only-male prom. The guys can then ask other guys to go to prom with them. What kind of rule is this???

purasangria · 2021-03-26T12:16:52+00:00

If he rejected her, does that mean he can't go to prom, or is this just a rule for girls? And how is anyone going to know if a girl turned down an invitation?

This is a disgusting rule. Girls can circumvent it by just saying, "maybe". They keep their options open whilst not triggering the rejection rule. 😉

jargon_explosion · 2021-03-26T13:32:59+00:00

Wow we are really leaning into men's mental health issues being the women's fault for rejecting them, aren't we? This is gross. Rejection sucks but if you want anything in life you're going to have to deal with it eventually.

Unless you're handed everything by society, of course.

Simulated4You · 2021-03-26T12:23:19+00:00

I hate this. I would call, maybe try to figure out what women have the most authority and go to them. Even higher ups in the school board. In all honesty, I doubt they can even enforce this. Any boy can just say he was rejected by any girl at any time to get them banned.

Platipus6 · 2021-03-26T12:14:44+00:00

more affirmative action to prevent school shooters eh

Awkward-Plane-6617 · 2021-03-26T12:19:47+00:00

Wow, what utter horse shit... please do call the school! Not to put the weight on your shoulders, but It seems no one is going to stand up for those girls if you don’t.

Threaten that you’ll go to the media if they refuse to change the rule and if they do refuse, see if you can actually get in touch with a left leaning local news.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-03-26T12:19:47+00:00

What the actual hell?? Please file a complaint against the school

Queen_Evergreen · 2021-03-26T12:56:51+00:00

Being that you are living across the country and it’s private school- you could call and complain as a “potential” parent if you don’t want to reference your actual affiliation with the school. Get into character. Or Lightly suggest you’re from Vice News doing a story on rape culture in schools.

It sounds like this rule was born out of some weird non-exclusion no bullying fever dream. Do the boys tattle take on the girls that turned them down? Talk about an emasculating set up on that end.

God this is strange.

volcanic_equation · 2021-03-26T12:27:02+00:00

Gross. The girls should just maintain that they already have a date. Or “My parents are too strict, they won’t let me go to prom with any boys! 🙃

Muffcakelord · 2021-03-26T13:07:04+00:00

I remember our prom in Norway was more like, everyone just came by themselves but they could ask someone out to sit by their side if they wanted. But at the entrance, everyone would by random be placed in two lines of girls vs boys and be paired up to go hand in hand inside the prom area - totally by random. This was a whole lot more refreshing, even though when it was my turn, the boys would scream and laugh and refuse to hold my hand (because i was fairly strange and hateful at the age, probably still am), and one of the teachers would just step in and follow me in instead, taking the place as one of the boys.

This is at a very vulnerable time. Remembering all of this probably has a big impact on me, in positive ways actually. If i had been pressured by people to accept the guys, or more likely; been refuse to enter the prom seeing as nobody, regardless of gender, liked me at that time (a time in school where hierarchy is everything), i would probably be a more bitter or asocial person. This is highly toxic culture where the girls who want to fit in will be groomed to tolerate abuse, and the girls who don't want to fit in will be placed even further into their don't-belong-box. As for the guys; they will either learn to never have to endure rejection, or they'll be rejected despite the pressure, alongside with being punished for it - making rejection seem dangerous, probably pushing them even further into the school-shooter-lifestyle or just the don't-belong box.

Pushing people into thinking they don't belong leads to crime, and pushing people into thinking consent isn't important will lead to sexual crime against women. This has to end one way or another. Systematic christianity is all about breaking down consent to further oppress women.

nieces-pieces · 2021-03-26T13:38:57+00:00

Okay then! Walks in with 6 guys on her arms, lady-pimp style.

OrangeyPanda · 2021-03-26T14:53:59+00:00

Wow, it's literally grooming girls to learn that they must always agree to men's advances or be punished. Definitely rape culture.

Carpedictum · 2021-03-26T13:41:55+00:00

You can get in touch with a journalist, and that’s good, but what will GET IT DONE is to:

Find a journalist who writes on the topic (feminist issues, school issues, negative aspects of religion) AND publishes to the Associated Press.
Write (most of) the article yourself and present it as “an outline for you to use.” Essentially offering to let them put their name on your work.
Offer a specific person or people to interview. If you happen to know a couple of girls there whose parents would ok with their commenting, ask them for permission then include their contact info.

Those are media tips my profession uses on the regular. People have story ideas all the time, but if you actually do the leg work, they’ll eat it right out of your hand. This is scary as hell and super important. Good luck lady.

_Amarantos · 2021-03-26T13:21:06+00:00

Agreeing with a few posters in here, I would contact some of the local news or somewhere like Buzzfeed/Huff Post and try to make this go viral.

myoklife · 2021-03-26T12:23:25+00:00

Yeah uh this should be national news. Stir up some outrage over this. There is nothing okay about this

saint-jezebel · 2021-03-26T14:12:20+00:00

I completely expect this from a Christian school in Texas. Religious groups love to hide behind their religion when bad things happen. In this case, as you already state, the onus will always be on the girl. She bad if she turns the guy down, its good if she accepts but if something bad happens, then the problem is still her. This is the brainwashing religion does and it hurts women the most while benefitting men the most. Guarantee the Headmaster or principal is a man. And I would never promote girls to ask the guys out because that sets a wrong message to the girls, so it seems bad either way. This school is grooming these girls.

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2021-03-26T12:14:26+00:00

...this is insane. What the fuck.

RacePinkBlack · 2021-03-26T12:53:16+00:00

you turn them down, you can’t go to prom.

what the entire fuck. This is just awful.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-03-26T15:19:50+00:00

Another example of how all men benefit from male violence

Protoetype · 2021-03-26T13:18:19+00:00

Holy shit. This is the type of power men want in everyday society, of course a Christian school in TX wouldn't have any qualms about letting their fucked flag fly.

A really brave homosexual boy needs to do the lords work and run through that school asking out all the scrotes. Imagine a prom full of only girls :)

CowgirlMolly · 2021-03-26T12:52:23+00:00

Yes, call the school, call local media, make fliers about how it’s rape culture and hand them out to the girls at that school. Encourage them to boycott prom. Go to whatever lengths you want to go to.

RedPlanit · 2021-03-26T17:10:27+00:00

This is terrifying! I can think of a few horror stories from my high school days where this would be awful.

During my junior year of high school, I had a friend named "Cece". This kid we will call "Adam" had asked her out multiple times and she told him each time that she was not interested in going out with him. Prom was rounding the corner and he kept telling random guys not to ask Cece because he wanted to. She avoided him like the plague and started eating lunch in the library or the parking lot. One day she got a phone call from her aunt. Apparently Adam had shown up at her aunt's house with flowers and a teddy bear and was asking where Cece was because he wanted to ask her to homecoming.

She was beyond creeped out. Cece was the daughter of Asian immigrants and when they first came to America, they stayed with her aunt. They had left her aunt's address with the school as she had been moving around a lot since arriving to the US. So all school related stuff would go to her aunt's house. Adam had used the school directory to look up Cece's address to show up at her house, in hopes that by asking in front of her family, Cece would feel compelled to say yes.

Flash forward to our senior year. Cece is once again targeted by another kid we will call "Derek". He wanted to ask her to homecoming. She already had a date, as she promised to take a foreign exchange student from another school. Instead of being a normal human being and accepting no as an answer, Derek decided to SNEAK INTO HER CAR after school.

That's right. She was an artist and she opened the trunk of her car to put some paintings in, before getting distracted taking to friends in the parking lot. She went back to her car, closed it, and got in. She was about a mile from school, driving down the road, when this fucker silently and carefully climbed out of the trunk and into the backseat before screaming "SURPRISE!" at her as she drove down the road. She almost wrecked her car! She began hitting him with an umbrella while he screamed, because she had no idea who he was and was trying to keep an eye on the road. She managed to pull over, realized it was Derek, and just screamed and cussed him out. He explained he wanted to ask her to prom and thought this was the best way.

Apparently she kicked him out of her car on the side of the road. He asked for a ride back to the school and she said no. Then she called me in absolute tears, sobbing because he scared her so badly and she thought she was going to die.

When Cece rejected Derek, he began asking as many freshman and sophomore girls out as he could. He was like 18 and asking 14 year olds out. He even asked my little sister out.

The worst though was that he controlled the audio/speaker system for my high school's football team. So he would help with the commentators and local ads that were said over the speakers. He used this to his advantage at half time where he proceeded to publicly ask a freshman girl to homecoming over the speaker in front of an entire crowd at a football team.

Here's the kicker: She had a boyfriend! And she had only spoken to Derek like one or two times in drama club. She was sitting with her boyfriend in the bleachers when Derek asked this and everyone watched as the poor girl stood up and cried and ran out to the parking lot.

So yeah. This school rule is grotesque.

cabernetmermaid · 2021-03-26T16:26:09+00:00

Ugh. Raised conservative Christian and yeah this was a thing. Actually I used to do ballroom dance too and my instructor said the same thing - if a dude gets the guts to ask you to dance with him, don’t turn him down and embarrass him. Like.... ummm what about my feelings? Mine don’t matter ? Essentially you’re saying yes to hugging him and having his knee between your knees when you agree to ballroom dance with a dude.

coloneldjmustard · 2021-03-26T14:12:43+00:00

This needs to go to the media

Alarming-Midnight-73 · 2021-03-26T15:41:20+00:00

Everyone's talking about how to circumvent this or prevent it (which is good!) but on a more basic level: How is the school even planning to enforce this? I can imagine this turning into some sort of "he said she said" situation. Is the school going to keep some sort of database of girls and have boys register who they're going to ask?? What if two boys ask one girl at the same time? Not only is this a disgusting prom rule, it doesn't even sound practical or enforceable.

Independent_Leather3 · 2021-03-26T13:25:45+00:00

I would call the local media as well as the school.

favoritesound · 2021-03-26T14:43:47+00:00

Yeah if I were a parent I would encourage every girl to ask each other immediately just as a placeholder so that they can just say "Sorry, someone asked me already."

bizzybumblebee · 2021-03-26T15:01:01+00:00

could you connect with buzzfeed or something?

Fitncurly · 2021-03-26T14:28:59+00:00

The media. Run with this story to any and every outlet that will hear you. From online platforms to print to even tv—this could be a story someone will take. Blasting (otherwise known as shame tactics) is very effective even if you don’t live in the area.

GreatOrchidAmbition · 2021-03-26T18:40:20+00:00

Which one of those fugly old men who is still nursing a rejection from 45 years ago made that rule??

Rowbloks · 2021-03-26T13:31:04+00:00

But... what is the reasoning behind the rule?

fashiong99 · 2021-03-26T14:29:25+00:00

This is crazy, I think it could be helpful if you spoke to some parent representative (I’m not sure it’s called like that in English).

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-03-26T18:45:56+00:00

This reminds me of the Muzzmatch app. One of my friends is on it and it apparently lets ANY man send you messages, and when you try to reject their messages or unmatch, the app literally asks you what your reason for your lack of interest…..

Religious institutions do not hold the best interest of women at heart and it’s so sad 💔

sarahbae03 · 2021-03-26T12:50:36+00:00

That's some sick shit.

itsyourgirlfinn · 2021-03-26T14:44:42+00:00

This is sick

BananaSlugGhost · 2021-03-26T14:49:57+00:00

Alert the media

berrylikeova · 2021-03-26T15:46:55+00:00

Call the news.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-26T18:49:12+00:00

Hopefully by some miracle the boys man up and do not ask anyone, just go as groups of friends and let the girls be. The lack of consent here is disturbing.

Human-No-98757037372 · 2021-03-26T14:53:57+00:00

It might be worth going straight to see if any news outlets would pick up the story, calling stuff out publicly is a powerful tool for change

GabbaG0ul · 2021-03-26T15:42:55+00:00

Encourage them to boycott prom. They need those ticket sales.

Zirniaisuspirgais · 2021-03-27T04:31:31+00:00

So men should never experience rejection ever? There would be no animals on earth if every weak and sickly uggo got with the first female he presented himself to. Rejection is vital to life on earth.

KateJ1982 · 2021-03-26T13:24:44+00:00

This sounds made up. Could your family be fibbing here? If it’s not, I’d try to get a journalist involved since you have no personal contact with the school or the girls there. I’m sure someone could write a great article about it!

brush-your-teeth-bro · 2021-03-26T14:41:27+00:00

What the fuck. Just... what the fuck. Prom is already notoriously synonymous with rape culture. It's at times like this that I'm glad that, as religious and conservative my upbringing was,, at least I went to an all-girls school.

fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T17:45:45+00:00

I go to anime conventions and one time while I was looking over the rules for the Formal Ball there was actually a rule similar to this.

It said that if someone asks you to dance with them you're allowed to turn them down, but don't turn right around and dance with someone else because it might hurt their feefees.

Smolfrend · 2021-03-26T18:46:56+00:00

Just imagine if all the girls banded together and said "no" to everyone who asked them and all of them just didn't go to prom. That's how you fight stupid systems like this. Unfortunately, there's always going to be some girls who will be pickmes and fail to understand the gravity of their situation. The solution doesn't work without everyone.

DangerousRiver9 · 2021-03-26T20:51:45+00:00

Call the school and find out the details, then call the local media and expose them.

TrixieFriganza · 2021-03-26T14:58:09+00:00

Wtf what if as rapist, abusers or a bully asks a girl to prom? So then she's supposed to miss it. When I went to prom I went alone, there was no need to have a partner, much better.

MissYouMagdalen · 2021-03-26T16:31:23+00:00

If this is a public school you can go straight to the State Board of Education. Even if its private school try them because they still have to follow certain state and federal rules.

This is literally discrimination based off sex. This is illegal on a constitutional level for public schools.

If you want to spread awareness, get on Facebook and message anyone you know there. The Mom Brigade in every school uses facebook to keep informed. They will see it for sure.

This is just the beginning. I think all of us here understand how society works to push women into a subservient role.

Opening_Candidate471 · 2021-03-26T17:59:05+00:00

Call the school along with every news outlet that will listen to you.

Please do not let this go. They are teaching the OPPOSITE of consent!

victoriabowen8 · 2021-03-26T18:00:28+00:00

This is absolutely ridiculous but all I can say is a "loophole" would be to tell the guy who asks that you'll think about it and then just never get back to him. If someone else asks in the meantime and you say yes you can go back to the other guy and say you already have a date. If no guy asks you can still just respond with "I already have a date" - that date might just be your girlfriends but that's your business.

Girls should not have to do this but that is what I would recommend as a last resort work around. So crazy!!

2021-03-26T18:23:03+00:00

Bro I don’t expect a lot from southern evangelicals too lol. I’m so confused they want women to stay pure but they don’t want them to say no. Interesting.

Simpella · 2021-03-26T18:56:35+00:00

Not only is this immoral, but it sounds highly illegal. At least where I'm from.

I agree with majority of these comments. Exposure is your best bet. If this school has been running this way the entire time, a few people angry with it won't help. This needs to be brought up on a larger scale for any results.

I wonder if the rule applies for the boys there as well. Absolutely disgusting.

light_workerx3 · 2021-03-26T19:53:49+00:00

Wowwww if that really is true then that school has a big problem on their hands . I bet you anything at least some of the girls would mention this to their parents / guardian right ??! I know I would've told my mom in a heartbeat if that was going on. Smh this world gets crazier and crazier everyday . 😫

CoolSaucy · 2021-03-26T15:08:21+00:00

Well not just girls, this is a violation of boundaries for guys too being forced to accept unwanted proposals. Also pressure for people to conform to going with someone instead of stag-which is lame. Idk why any school would teach kids to ignore other’s wishes/boundaries. Setting kids up for abusive relationships later on

Winesday_addams · 2021-03-26T15:48:32+00:00

What if she has already been asked? Does that still count as "rejecting" someone?

MomoKun999 · 2021-03-26T17:21:06+00:00

That school needs to be reported to the media.

Sewud · 2021-03-26T19:25:53+00:00

Wow! This is literally men calling dibs, or "just be first", and teaching girls they should accept the FIRST guy who shows interest.

Yveskleinsky · 2021-03-26T19:36:29+00:00

Wow, now that's some bullshit if I've ever heard some! ...Until this gets sorted out and these girls regain their right to say no, I would encourage the girls to ask each other to prom. Yeesh. What a messed up system.

gotja · 2021-03-26T21:15:03+00:00

That's nuts.

I'm assuming this is enforced for any gender that says no? Everyone should be able to say no. What if someone else asked you first and you say no,.does that mean you can't attend prom?

fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T12:31:16+00:00

If it's a private school, there isn't much you can do in reality.

Why not host a small alternative event for all the kids who can't go? A small party, where they can get their pic taken and do all the same things without any of the pressure.

DumahDie · 2021-03-26T19:54:48+00:00

Lol I’m imagining a bunch of girls being asked by like twenty different guys each and having to say yes to all of them. Then there’s a big ol’ crowd of dudes around them, waiting for their chance to dance at the prom, fighting over who gets to go next... This is such a clusterfuck idea

rosecolored_glasses · 2021-03-26T16:30:21+00:00

100% agree with all the people saying you should call a news station. I wouldn’t bother calling the school. It’s their rule, they don’t see it as being problematic, so I think that would just be a waste of your time. I’d try and go above them and call the county board of education and tell them that you think this would be a news story worthy of going viral and they should rethink their methodology before it’s shared with news outlets and on social media.

throwawayaway388 · 2021-03-26T17:54:16+00:00

Yikes... I think this would blow up in the media if the general public caught wind of it.

feistykalorina · 2021-03-26T18:28:41+00:00

Please expose them

Stuffnthings1840 · 2021-03-26T18:36:06+00:00

Yeah what's the school? We can annoy them with calls.

Waste-Win · 2021-03-26T19:01:03+00:00

I really want to hear the logic behind this because no matter how much I think I just can't.

yolosunshine · 2021-03-26T19:26:02+00:00

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww

f_alt04 · 2021-03-27T03:07:38+00:00

I would reach out to the school about this and notify local news. I bet we can get a bunch of us from this sub to email them and blow up their social media about this. Perhaps you could message flaired users who express interest in doing so with the info of the school/principal’s email and superintendent email? I personally would be willing to reach out to local news on this. I could also try to get this going on twitter. They need a good social media and email complaint smack down.

Tiffglamour · 2021-03-27T04:22:25+00:00

I agree with other posters who’ve mentioned contacting a national (as well as local ) news source and also getting the word out on social media...specifically Twitter where it can spread like wildfire. Nothing will change if they aren’t publicly shamed and pressured

karabnp · 2021-03-26T17:34:29+00:00

Before even getting to the part where you mentioned it, I immediately thought: “This HAS TO BE a “Christian” school.🙄🤮

Does the same rule apply both ways..?? If a guy turns down a girl who asks him, he can’t go with anyone else either..?? If not, it’s time to BURN IT ALL DOWN. THE ENTIRE SCHOOL.

liberty_5-30000 · 2021-03-26T17:28:24+00:00

What a minute, the school has a rule that if a boy asked a girl to prom and she says no then she can’t go to prom with someone else???

What if a girl asked a boy to prom and he said no, does that mean he can’t go with someone else??

That is BS. No school would do that. It is unconstitutional and against the law.

It was challenged in courts when schools said if a person of your own age boy/girl etc asked you to dance you had to say yes. This was middle school - it was found unconstitutional.

So I’m confused by what happened other then the girl frightened your brother. And if your bro can’t accept a person on face value and cares more about their sexuality then she is very lucky. M

2021-03-26T16:25:37+00:00

How is this legal?

Ok-Firefighter-2266 · 2021-03-26T17:12:43+00:00

Go to the media. Post this all over Facebook, IG, Tik Tok and whatever else.

sugaredberry · 2021-03-26T17:27:00+00:00

Public shaming is gonna have to be the route you go with this one. Social media posts tagging the school and principal, teachers etc, contact media, contact news outlets in major cities etc, and try to have documentation of it on hand even if it’s like, texts from your bro telling you of the bizarre rule.

holographic_kitten · 2021-03-26T17:33:22+00:00

I would reach out to local and national preas and influential feminists on Twitter etc to post about it and get it to be a big story. If that school is doing it others are too. Women should always be able to say no.

nyclaurco · 2021-03-26T16:29:16+00:00

it is not that difficult to organize prom by yourself. the girls can boycott this prom and organize another one after graduation so that the school has no say or control. obviously, the boys will follow them there. my high school punished one year of students by taking away prom, and they just booked the same venue by crowdfunding the same money that they would have given to the school to do the exact same thing. some of the parents helped organize it as well.

also, schools go viral for less. i agree with everyone here that they should call the local news and publicly shame them!

butteryrum · 2021-03-26T17:05:04+00:00

I think you'd have better luck bringing it to the attention of the local news in that area than calling the school. The school doesn't care, that's why it's the policy.

Fkthekirit · 2021-03-26T17:13:40+00:00

I would organize all the women to say no to everyone, and they organize their own prom elsewhere. Only boys they invite can come.

I’d be all for starting a go fund me for this cause!!!!

2021-03-26T17:38:03+00:00

If I were a girl from that school I would just claim I had a "boyfriend from another school" who already asked me. Then on prom night just come in with my girlfriends and tell the teacher no one asked me.

SnooEagles9138 · 2021-03-26T17:52:44+00:00

And what i several boys are asking a girl out?

fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T18:12:03+00:00

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fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T18:15:42+00:00

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fds_account58 · 2021-03-26T18:22:46+00:00

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2021-03-26T19:02:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Brother’s school has a bizarre prom rule
Author	fds_account58
Upvotes	4457
Comments	171
Date	March 26, 2021 12:10 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/mdn77r/brothers_school_has_a_bizarre_prom_rule/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/brothers-school-has-a-bizarre-prom-rule.1187548 https://theredarchive.com/post/1187548

Comments

you turn them down, you can’t go to prom.