Displaying stereotypical gendered behavior is crucial to get laid as a man

blingbladeade · 2023-02-09T18:35:58+00:00

and any men who are attracted to or seek out more traditionally feminine women are seen as predators and creeps or told they can't handle strong, modern women.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2023-02-09T16:42:39+00:00

Gendered roles and behaviours by men are only bad when they aren't useful to women

DebateRoyal4525 · 2023-02-09T17:17:27+00:00

It's true to an extent, but the Red Pill really underestimates how much being a total hipster can get you laid. Even old school PUAs understood this. They would dress up flamboyantly and talk about eastern mysticism and shit.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-02-09T15:54:41+00:00

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KayRay1994 · 2023-02-09T16:14:42+00:00

In moderation, yes - though again, that’s where the distinction between healthy masculinity and toxic masculinity comes in - the issue this post (and many men as a whole) have is that they don’t seem to be able to differentiate between the two - you can be dominant, but not to where it becomes overbearing and controlling. Be competitive, but don’t let it define you. Approach women, talk to them and so on, but know where and when and understand when to back off.

Even with all that being said, your assessment doesn’t even hold true - lots of men without this masculine bravado still have success, so i’m not sure where you’re getting your info from.

As for it being on the rise… I meannnn…. it kinda is, the redpill has become mainstream and its an ideology that epitomizes toxic masculinity.

gofigure62 · 2023-02-09T15:10:27+00:00

Displaying gender stereotypes is attractive to people who believe in gender stereotypes.

Commonsense would be to know your audience. Different types of women are attracted to different things.

Walking stereotypes will date and attract other walking stereotypes.

ICtruthcity · 2023-02-10T00:26:34+00:00

That's literally how the game is played now. Women tell impressionable young men to essentially be more feminine yet they're the ones sleeping with the most masculine men they can find.

Subconsciously people aren't even aware that the dating market place, is like a food chain. The weak impressionable types die out or will be dominated in the work force, whilst the strongest most masculine males get the mates.

The more things change the more they stay the same.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2023-02-10T01:59:37+00:00

If you are over age 26 perhaps honey, its the last shot you've got

bokan · 2023-02-10T05:28:21+00:00

I mean, yeah. Is this controversial? Men have to walk a line of adhering to masculine stereotypes in every way possible, but showing enough restraint and moderation to know how to inject just enough of those behaviors into any given interaction while otherwise adhering to modern cultural norms.

It ain’t easy, but nobody’s role is.

Urbanwitch666 · 2023-02-09T16:57:33+00:00

"crucial" is a stretch. There are plenty of women who don't seek these qualities. I like my men soft and supple personally haha.

But yeah many women dig masculinity. I think you're kinda confusing things a bit though.

Women who like masculinity want a man with those traits in moderation.

Disastrous-Midnight4 · 2023-02-09T16:54:45+00:00

From an evolutionary perspective, if humanity were to depend on women chasing men, women making the first move, whistling and honking at the sighting of a man and all the other various forms and manifestations of courtship, humanity would have ceased to exist a long time ago!

So yes, gender roles are part and parcel of humanity's existence and survival. And as with anything else, it's a mix of nature and nurture, a mix of behavior driven by hormones on one hand and behavior driven by cultural norms on the other hand.

nemma88 · 2023-02-09T16:57:18+00:00

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Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-02-09T17:57:28+00:00

1.

Women are against gender stereotypes that necessitate for men to be dominant

They're not. Some people online talk against those, but most regular folks like men to be manly and women to be feminine.

My sister wouldn't want a man who's too soft, that's for sure, and she'll say that to anyone.

2 Isn't worth time, I don't know what toxic is unless you're talking ld50.

Again, not same women. Most women I know irl think metoo has been over the top.
Not same men.
Not same people who claim that.

jxjkskkk · 2023-02-09T17:58:03+00:00

It is but not if you’re faking it. Women have this 6th sense of being able to see through ANY sort of emotional or personality facade and they’ll lose all attraction like a light switch. You just need to be naturally strong through discipline/adversity and have those qualities without having to pretend

2023-02-10T07:04:39+00:00

Yeah it’s all performative. Women still mate like we live in hunter gather societies. These “don’t be toxically masculine” rules only apply to men they are already not physically attracted to. It’s hypocrisy and they all know it but it doesn’t matter if you call them out cause there is no one to hold them accountable for their hypocrisy

Impossible_You_8555 · 2023-02-11T10:12:18+00:00

Because attraction is based on primal logic and toxic masculinity is actually good that's why.

Agressive competitive people win and others are weak and the weak aren't meant to prosper.

Men shouldn't just display traditional masculinity and "gendered behavior" they should embrace it.

CimZim · 2023-02-09T15:15:10+00:00

Most dudes here think I'm an outlier for my taste in men anyway, so not gonna bother with all that. However, I don't think this is true:

Women are against gender stereotypes that necessitate for men to be dominant, yet they overwhelmingly seem to find themselves attracted to masculine men that can make them feel "small and protected".

How many adult women say they want to "feel small"? If someone said this to me, I'd think they were bonkers. Like, I'm sorry, even if I give them the "protected" part (which is also weird...protected from what exactly?) I cannot honestly believe that the majority of grown women want to "feel small" with their partners. We aren't children, we don't want to be seen or treated like that.

Edit: every downvote just makes me stronger 💪

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-02-09T15:54:14+00:00

No they aren’t, your average dude is a bitch, and we are on average working class, she only likes him being tall. If you walk up to like 60% of men and Agro a fight, they will call the police or try to get away from the situation.
Women don’t like ladder climbers because they are ladder climbers, they like ladder climbers based on the prospect that they may one day benifit from this man who is might be a high earner.
No debating this, men are much more passive in dating since 2016 and they are definitely calling us sassy for it
More women are enrolled in school then men are, and more women are attempting to climb the corporate ladder then men are, so the second part is pretty true when it comes to the working class
I don’t think anyone in their right mind would say any man under 40 today is more toxically masculine then a man from even 30 years ago

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-02-09T17:34:25+00:00

Do you guys ever leave the house? People often meet others through their own social network, work, friends of friends. It isn't just guys flexing in the street that get partnered. This sounds like the ultimate confirmation bias.

Hi_Iamlexi · 2023-02-09T18:01:04+00:00

I would say you're right that many women don't want to date men who act like children; we also don't want toxically masculine men either. I feel like you're overlooking healthy masculine energy as an option here. My dom/bf has his toes painted pink, takes care of most of the house hold things while I work, and I love being submissive to him. The only options available aren't a stunted man child or asshole 🤷🏻‍♀️

boomboxspence · 2023-02-09T18:03:35+00:00

That's a shame because I'm not masculine at all

begayallday · 2023-02-09T16:51:56+00:00

For me, I have always found it attractive when a man rejects gender norms in a way that shows he gives no fucks about them. It’s paradoxically more masculine if a man, say, wears hot pink nail polish, or orders a fruity cocktail, or loves watching rom coms, and truly gives zero shits about what people think about him for doing so.

In the same vein, if a man refuses to do anything that could be perceived as “girly” it makes him seem very insecure. I went out with a guy a few times who refused to try the watermelon cider I was having because “he doesn’t drink things that are pink”. I thought he was joking the first time. But when he did it a second time and said “I told you I don’t drink things that are pink” I asked him if he was serious and he said yes. It really turned me off.

mc0079 · 2023-02-09T17:31:03+00:00

I found your Issue. Why do you listen to an outspoken minority that exist in online Fantasy Land.

blebbyroo · 2023-02-09T19:17:28+00:00

You can approach women without sexually assaulting her

Hating on me too is ridiculous

Safinated · 2023-02-09T16:52:43+00:00

It’s so weird that people who like stereotypical men like men who display stereotypes, and also comprise 100% of the female population, leaving nonstereotypical men totally and completely sexless

AceArguments · 2023-02-09T17:48:26+00:00

Women want dominant men in the sense that they know what they're doing and they can make independent smart decisions. Your idea of dominance as in literally dominating a woman physically (height, build, money, status etc) is not what women want. Women want a man that is self-confident, able to communicate, make decisions, and compromise if needed.
Aggressive competitiveness is toxic. I see you've never played a sport in your entire life, Even in the most competitive sports there is a sense of camaraderie, respect, and mutual understanding of your opponent even while striving for your own individual success. The aggression is transformed into focus rather than physical acts of aggression. You can climb any ladder you want but you need to compete. Anywhere you go there is competition, whether you want it to that way or not.
"It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" No one wants a person that is stagnant with no goals but no one wants a person that steps on everyone else going up.
Some women complain about men losing the balls to court a woman. The majority of women have left the dating market because of that very dynamic; men chasing women. Instead of it being a mutual attraction, the dating market is set up where men pursue and women run. All the women that want mutual attraction has left the dating market and all the guys on Tinder are talking to bots. Get angry at the creators of Tinder. Not women.
You're talking about two different cohorts here. The older cohort of men dominates high-paying professions and gate keeps them. The younger cohort of men are lagging behind.
Let me fix that sentence for you. Toxic masculinity is on the rise because men are becoming timid man-children. The reality is that women have jobs and provide for themselves now. All the laws have been removed barring women from work. Women now expect men to do half of everything; housework, childcare, bills or they will leave. Men don't want to do that work. How do you get a woman to stop from leaving? Take back any rights she was given and make her reliant on a man so that she can't leave. Just like in the old days. Men are tightly gripping onto the last semblance of the male breadwinner and female housemaker dynamic because without it, they would have to come up with a completely new dynamic which would require a lot of hard work.

There are women that reward masculine bravado just as there are men that reward female trophy wife/trad wife bravado. These people that put on bravados have always gotten sex and dates. But that's all they get. Sex and dates.

If you steal, lie, and cheat you can create a shortcut to wealth. But what you actually get is the money, not the wealth. If you lie and cheat your way to sex and dates, that's all you get. Sex and dates.

There was always an easier way to achieve the hard things in life. What makes anyone a person of character and virtue was taking the harder route.

SlyStocks · 2023-02-09T20:04:51+00:00

No, being handsome and tall will get you laid regardless of your behavior.

Furthermore, a certain group of women want western men in general to be weak, but they don‘t want their boyfriend or husband to be weak - that is true. It is not as hypocritical as it sounds, though. It‘s actually a pretty clear and straightforward goal they are going for.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-02-09T20:57:17+00:00

It's not crucial at all.

Most men get laid.

Most men do not express a lot of stereotypical masculine behavior, even in cultures where it's more common you have a much higher percentage of men getting laid than merely the people who are expressing masculinity in a traditional way.

Women are against gender stereotypes that necessitate for men to be dominant, yet they overwhelmingly seem to find themselves attracted to masculine men that can make them feel "small and protected".

Many, many women don't meet hardly any gender traditions and still get laid, have relationships, and many of them get married, mostly to men.

Aggressive competitiveness is toxic, yet women gravitate toward assertive and successful ladder climbers that have things going for them in life and are passionate about it.

They don't though. Most men aren't toxic-ly aggressive yet most men get laid.

3.Women welcome #met00 as a collective reckoning with a culture where men still chase women, then complain about men having lost their balls to confidently court a woman.

(Me too) is mostly stories of rape and molestation particularly in a corporate atmosphere, not complaints about "courting".

Ohyarlysmiles · 2023-02-09T21:10:35+00:00

Not really.

Looking good helps you get laid.

I actually switched over years ago to just asking if a girl wanted to kiss, rather than just alfalfa male style 'going for it.'

No diff in results.

However

in a long-term relationship being traditionally masculine helps and the less of that you are the more it hurts

Novel-Inflation-8261 · 2023-03-05T22:52:12+00:00

Women want to be able to work and live their own lives just like men instead of being shoved into the kitchen. It’s not that hard to understand.

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Kobe_curry24 · 2023-02-09T17:33:19+00:00

This is r/seduction post

MrsKetchup · 2023-02-09T19:59:54+00:00

I love masculine traits; confident, assertive, "dominant" men are attractive, no doubt. But people misunderstand the dynamic in which women enjoy it: I like my man to have those traits and display it in his life in a general sense, not specifically towards me.

I want him to be the aggressive warrior out in the world, but returns home where I am his queen whom he loves and is kind and husbandly to.

I want a man who dominates his life, not his wife.

gate18 · 2023-02-09T20:15:33+00:00

very few would want to feel "small and protected". My god, the fact that university and work places are full of women, the fact that they don't want to be housewife even though men would love them to, surely proves they don't want to feel "small".
Go to a bar and you see aggression. Go to where Leonardo de caprio hangs out and you'll see something else
Rape and confidence are two different things.
this has nothing to do with women. It's just data.
No real contradiction. a manchild is different to a child. If you are blamed for women not getting married - ignore those blamers.

Women really don't reward toxic behavior. If they did, what's your problem. Fuck women online

2023-02-09T20:42:40+00:00

- I mean I can relate to these things, most certainly -

Displaying stereotypical gendered behavior is crucial to get laid as a man

Aggressive competitiveness is toxic, yet women gravitate toward assertive and successful ladder climbers that have things going for them in life and are passionate about it.

We're simultaneously told toxic masculinity is on the rise, as well that guys are becoming timid little manchildren, blamed for women not getting married and starting families.

But I wouldn't phrase it the way you do, as the issue is mostly with FourthWaveFeministic values rather than women

Fme this sort of phenomena realizes on the hypocrisy of gender-critical suppositional ideology, such as FWF and RDPill

Avoiding those circles and those with those outlooks will benefit your experience, but ofc it's not exactly easy to know who subscribes to what in their outlook so idk

Separate-Practice171 · 2023-02-09T22:19:35+00:00

I think we’re you’re getting confused is the fact that there are billions of women. Some women don’t like agressive men where some love a protective man. You said masculinity is denounced by women online but women are still sexually attracted to it, i guarantee you the women denouncing it online aren’t sexually attracted to it. This all becomes an extremely simple concept when you realize humans don’t have a hive mind. You grouping billions of people together into one single category is a trauma response, it’s an emotional thing, you’re clearly hurt by these things.

TangerineX · 2023-02-09T22:49:22+00:00

There is a bit of a fallacy here to dive into.

It's true that many stereotypical masculine behaviors are attractive to women. Gender, and being attracted to a gender, implies that you are attracted to behaviors, mannerisms, and other expressions of that gender. One could say that in terms of attracting straight women (who are interested in men), you have to exhibit some amount of masculine behavior, or else you wouldn't even signal as a man.
It's not true that all masculine behaviors are attractive. For example, violence is associated with masculinity, but violent individuals aren't attractive to women.
It's also untrue to say that straight women aren't attracted to non-masculine expressions. Sometimes having a soft side can be attractive. Being nurturing can be very attractive to many women

Let's talk about some of the other points.

For #3, you're conflating two different women, and two different issues. Firstly, the women who are most vocal about #metoo are not typically the same woman complaining about men not being confident in courting them. You can still confidently court a woman while still respecting consent.

For #4. This has more to do with inequality amongst social classes affecting men more. For example, while the richest men make far more money, a much larger portion of the homeless are also men. The poorest men are in worse shape than the poorest women, and the richest men make more money than the richest women. This isn't a contradiction and isn't relevant to your point about stereotypical gendered behavior

For #5, you're experiencing pressure both from conservative preconceptions of what you should have, as well as reckoning that with more modern ideas of equity. I can empathize with this being something difficult to navigate, but at the end of the day wouldn't the most masculine thing to do here is to be responsible for your actions, while still being comfortable in your own shoes, regardless of social pressures?

uglysaladisugly · 2023-02-09T22:51:11+00:00

It may be crucial to get laid with a very specific kind of women.

Shrine-of-Hope · 2023-02-10T04:46:41+00:00

Yikes

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-02-10T05:04:36+00:00

Nah. I got laid without any of this stereotypical behavior, using apps no less. I did it by being confident, making women feel safe (and this means she can feel safe that I'm not going to hurt her, not that I can beat up any guy that comes at her; more often than not, that kind of thing makes women feel incredibly unsafe), having a personality that women wanted to be around, and by making an effort in bed.

I am not a Chad by any stretch of the imagination, I'm a very average guy. I promise you, it is entirely possible.

somanyshawties · 2023-02-10T06:13:04+00:00

started working out and finally had the confidence to put a shirtless pic…. matches are a lot easier now

2023-02-10T18:43:40+00:00

No. Your goal is to find woman that is right for you and filter out those who aren't as fast as possible. So trying to play pretend is best way not to find one. In worst case you'll be forced to play role for your entire life.

vzmal · 2023-02-25T16:48:02+00:00

It’s a double standard and they know it but they don’t care

Title	Displaying stereotypical gendered behavior is crucial to get laid as a man
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	269
Comments	419
Date	February 9, 2023 3:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10xwxby/displaying_stereotypical_gendered_behavior_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/displaying-stereotypical-gendered-behavior-is.1151354 https://theredarchive.com/post/1151354

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