Why do so many young men think they shouldn’t be grinding for professional success and for women in their twenties

bald-sauid · 2025-11-25T20:22:33+00:00

I'm Gen X

After college I got a job back home and was able to buy my first house for roughly my yearly income. In my 20s I had motorcycles and sports cars. It was basically an endless party.

Houses in my area now cost almost 4 times what that same job starts at.

szclimber · 2025-11-25T20:37:20+00:00

This is complete nonsense. Young men should be doing the basics but a death grind with only 4 hours of sleep is ignorant and won't help. The most romantically successful men I know didn't even try hard.

caption291 · 2025-11-25T20:16:17+00:00

One of the reasons I believe young men are so miserable is because they think their 20s are suppose to be easy.

No they don't. They think their 20s are supposed to be a time where they can meaningfully invest into their future and (in large part because of the culture you're promoting right now), it's simply not a smart investment anymore.

You're the problem because you made the incentives what they are while pursuing your short term self-interest. Now that people are responding to the incentives in a rational manner, you're getting upset and blaming them because the alternative is to admit you're the problem.

the ideal of not working yourself past the point of exhaustion professionally and socially was almost unheard of 10 years ago.

Also, no it wasn't, you selected environments where that kind of stuff was the norm, so in your specific circles it was basically unheard of but that's not reality.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-11-25T20:55:50+00:00

Because they can't do both? Having a full time job and also having time to pursue women sounds like an oxymoron to me. I had the most dating success when I was unemployed, and I'm a millennial. Being stuck in the corporate ratrace was justifiable when all your peers and social cohort were experiencing it together, and therefore had a similar dating market.

With the advent of Instagram and social media, women have the illusion that they can have it all and that all other women are indeed getting it all. And when they believe that all other women can have it all, why should they be settling for men that aren't at least keeping up with these other women?

Women are also generally clueless about the effort men have to put in to capture their attention, and even downplay or ignore it if you bring it up to them; they judge you on your failures as a man, not on your successes. To them, anything that makes a man attractive is a "yes, but" ‐ not a "yes, and."

Nowadays, with the economy being what it is, you still have to kill yourself in the capitalist grind, but women are comparing you to the men they see other women bragging about on social media. What's the point of the grind for money if it won't get you the woman? Better to just nope out altogether and coast as best as you can while trying and finding a reasonable partner you don't have to jump through hoops to impress.

Basically, the margin between earning enough to survive alone and earning enough to also provide for a partner has become so small that it's not impressive to women. Meanwhile the margin between earning enough to provide for a woman and earning enough to actually attract one has become so big that most men have a better chance of impressing women with literally anything else other than money.

GloeSticc · 2025-11-25T20:57:05+00:00

22M, and I can only speak for myself, but I don't have any reason to invest in playing the social game. I think people my age, both men and women, have started to slowly understand that our effort rarely equates to a fair reward.

Combatenjoyer23 · 2025-11-25T19:56:05+00:00

I'm totally fine with grinding towards my professional goals in my 20s. I'm currently doing so. But that also sure as hell doesn't mean I want to spend large amounts of money on a woman who thinks "my money is mine, his money is ours" and a "keeping up with the Joneses" mindset. Do you even understand the economic reality of the world right now? Even those busting their asses to make a good salary are going to go into debt eating out at nice restaurants and going to clubs and travelling all the time. The guy you're thinking of who's able to do these things without being financially irresponsible is either old as fuck, in the 1% or came from family money.

rando_dud · 2025-11-25T21:41:16+00:00

Hard work does not really amount to success at work, socially or in dating for the average man.

Success is increasingly a function of privilege and genetics, and men recognize that having average looks and being middle-class has a hard ceiling. Grinding hard to overcome it is very tiresome and has a very low probability of paying the intended dividend.

A disproportionate amount of labor and hassle must be expended, where that energy can be spent more efficiently chasing financial independence and the odd cheap thrill to take the edge off.

thinkB4WeSpeak · 2025-11-25T20:07:28+00:00

Because everyone is tired of playing the capitalist game of grinding for success just to see the majority inherit it or nepotism it with no work.

StopTheIncels · 2025-11-25T20:56:47+00:00

I have sorta personal tech example. Every single one of my computer science friends or friends I met who started their SWE journey in the early 2010's is a millionaire. But some of those guys have probably have lost a few years to stress and the startup grind.

I do not think that is worth it today. Unless you're connected or extremely gifted at coding (I'm talking about like building a code parser from scratch), you will not be getting paid 200k+ by 25. The bluepill: go to college > grind > ??? > success doesn't work today. At least nominally in aggregate. I do think more men should be nurses, but I think that's not easy for most men. I stopped persuing pre-Med because being a doctor is not about saving lives; it's about dealing with people. But I digress.

Side not - getting 4 hours of sleep with 4 roommates and grinding just 'cause' is such a retarded philosophy (which I did partake btw) to be pushing on younger generations, and I agree with them. Fuck that noise.

As far as heterosexual dating is concerned one letter is apt: F.

Prize_Willow_5325 · 2025-11-25T22:21:01+00:00

I just finished the initial grind per say and know have a pretty good career job and the grind was worth it in terms of the connections I now have, quality friendships and income of course. The biggest gripe that I had was no one ever invested in me while I was still a student even though you could literally look at my post grad expected income. Now I am extremely grateful for the position I am in but the women who I have to choose from I just have no interest in, they are attractive career driven and a lot of them have enjoyable personalities and are good people but pretty much all of them are ran through and that's just such an ick that I stopped dating. Not saying women are part of the reward for professional success since the money and status are enough but it's just a shame is all.

CommissionAny5421 · 2025-11-25T20:10:24+00:00

I feel for this generation, both the men and women.

Every generation calls the next lazy, but the work/reward dynamic has shifted. Grinding to one person is working 3 retail jobs barely making rent and results in burn out without any progress, while you watch some 6 year old unbox his free toys on YouTube for $3m/year.

The 20's used to be about finding yourself, who you are, who you want to be. Challenging yourself and your beliefs.

But for many without privileges, its just being sent into the meat grinder to produce for the economy.

IgorXY · 2025-11-25T20:53:43+00:00

That is exactly my point: delusional boomers force their outdated worldview as truth. How old are you, OP?

It's not like it was easy, it was reasonable. You put effort and get results. Now it matters less in career and basically nothing in dating.

AscendingRogue · 2025-11-25T22:02:30+00:00

Sleep is so important. OP's post is downright dangerous. Don't exhaust yourselves, people.

Less-Fondant-3054 · 2025-11-25T20:16:26+00:00

A big part is because they've seen just how much that doesn't work. Men have been trying that and it didn't work for the vast majority. So the ones who watched that while growing up just decided to not bother since the end result re: relationships is the same but they don't have the stress of burning themselves out at work.

Sweet_Discount4485 · 2025-11-25T20:20:05+00:00

I'm a millennial too.

I did 4 AM, no sleep, self hatred, etc.

Why did we, the men of your age, ever do that? Why did you ever feel like you deserved it?

You're a sadist if this is your mindset.

N_Count_Council · 2025-11-25T20:24:10+00:00

I'm not in my 20s but this is my psycho-analyzation, or rather how I would feel about this situation if I were in my 20s still.

Men have access to the internet now. They've seen how men are treated in the long haul, getting their assets taken from them. They've seen how some men get easy access to women without needing to have good jobs. Everything is out in the open.

They don't feel like grinding for money has ROI anymore. They don't want to grind to have it all just taken away from them. They feel like being told "you're not good enough, go make more money" is acceptable to just be in a relationship.

Popeoath · 2025-11-25T21:14:15+00:00

Well the red pill literally tells men to do that (looks, money, status) yet blue pillers keep arguing with it.

However, these same young men (and a lot of women) fail to grasp how THEY have changed in the last 5+ years

Men's changes are in response to women's changes. If women went back then so would men. Men's behavior is reactive to women's lifestyles and standards.

and how the ideal of not working yourself past the point of exhaustion professionally and socially was almost unheard of 10 years ago.

Socializing was much easier 15-20 years ago. People are very prickly now.

As a millennial who spent my 20s in NYC, it was understood that you had two priorities post college: to build your career and to socialize/party/date

Problem is dating is so hard for men now that it takes disproportionate levels of focus to succeed at. I know guys so obsessed with looks and status that they're broke bums, they still get laid but basically have to leech off their parents and partners. While the guys I know making money aren't nearly as successful with women, since all their attention went to that and they have mid looks/status.

Wanting to save money over going out with your friends or buying a round of drinks was basically unheard of.

Inflation at the current levels is also unheard of.

GenZ, isn’t as willing to exhaust or extend themselves as much as previous generations

Because there's not as much reward as for the previous generations.

lightfrisk · 2025-11-25T20:35:53+00:00

Because they weren't born with the right genetics to succeed on dating apps.

BrainMarshal · 2025-11-25T21:37:45+00:00

working yourself past the point of exhaustion professionally and socially was almost unheard of 10 years ago.

The fuck? This is some wild kingdom bootlicker energy right here. So many health problems plagued people for doing this crap that came out in their 30s and 40s.

If women require this kind of work then to hell with women entirely. Let the species die out.

GroceryHungry1288 · 2025-11-25T20:50:04+00:00

Grind for what? So I can afford a slightly less shitty apartment? So I can spend my last few dollars trying to lay a woman that others have fucked for free?

PapiChuloxx · 2025-11-25T20:41:12+00:00

Idk why you're specifying men. If anything women are even more lazy and entitled and expect a man to fund their lifestyle. But ofc your main instinct as a woman is to use shaming tactics on men because any reflection and accountability for women is like poison to them.

Odd_Quit_8905 · 2025-11-25T23:14:08+00:00

Basically look at housing costs and price changes relative to wage rises. Real wages have barely risen for a few decades, whereas prices have skyrocketed. By contrast, most content on social media show women not only wanting men who are in the top 5/10% of wealth, but excluding men who aren’t in there.

For most men who don’t have advantages, rich family etc or who don’t want to do finance, it’s becoming apparent that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze.

A man has to be financially stable in an increasingly expensive economy, and all that to have a shot at a usually broke women, and they come prefucked (and increasingly) with mental illnesses

Capital_Capsicum · 2025-11-25T23:36:13+00:00

The last few generations were sold The American Dream. Where you work hard, and get rewarded for it.

But then everyone works that hard, and the supply meets the demand. Working extra hard has become the default just to survive.

We know the juice isn't worth the squeeze, so we get mad. And we should. The only people who benefit from this obscene workload, are the wealthy at the top.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-11-26T06:03:43+00:00

Juice ain't worth the squeeze

Logos1789 · 2025-11-25T20:24:48+00:00

Gen Z men and younger have a greater understanding of how women operate.

They know that the success that comes from grinding isn’t sustainable and the women who seek that in a partner aren’t likely to reach a point at which they are satisfied.

They will just divorce you after having kids then seek a wealthier or better looking man for her third act.

So your observation that young men seem to think it should be easy, is actually them living in a way that rejects the value of hustling for life.

They still want the most desirable women, they just aren’t going to tolerate needing to be anything other than their authentic self to get with them.

It’s valid for them to openly lament how what worked for their direct and recent male ancestors not only doesn’t work as well/at all in some instances, but there aren’t necessarily viable alternative solutions to achieve what the men who would have always been selected by women can achieve.

UnarmedRespite · 2025-11-25T19:55:27+00:00

It’s the economy, s…

BanditNoble · 2025-11-25T20:12:06+00:00

I'm sorry, why should we be working ourselves to the bone for pennies on the dollar? Why should we be working until we are "emotionally and spiritually" exhausted? That's an absurd expectation to have on anyone, especially now that money is getting tighter and prices are going up. We have to grind and scrape and pinch every penny, and for what? For nothing at all.

And I'm sorry, but you're saying you're a millennial - if you were a young adult during the 90s, you were in the best economic decade possibly since the end of the Second World War. They called it the Long Boom because of how insanely good it was. Even the early 2000s was good until 2008.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-11-25T20:57:47+00:00

Well online dating is a huge reason for it. The amount of options women have is way more then they did in previous generations.

So men can be grinding for success but best to already have reached success, for the best chance of having success in dating.

Youngrazzy · 2025-11-25T23:40:03+00:00

Simple young millennials and older gen z grew up seeing their peers get rich online. It created a false sense of success

PrinceDuneReloaded · 2025-11-26T00:53:31+00:00

you have a point with grinding financially but gen z is the first generation where dating success has been divorced from effort. We all know it and act accordingly.

mourninganarchist · 2025-11-26T04:46:05+00:00

I think men realising that most women aren't worth herculean effort is a good thing

I am 32 and a virgin

when I was 28 8 was desperate for love any love. I would fund her life if I must.i was blue pill max at that point in life. still belived in love

with age and hatred my standards have only gotten higher and 8 find myself seeing that the women around me really aren't worth it.

the only thing I want to do is make money do drugs and die at 69 for the memes

as far as purpose is concerned - I'll just help losers like me give up on women. cause for the below average man, being a hetrosexual is the worst thing they could be

DGenerationMC · 2025-11-26T15:33:48+00:00

I assume that because SOME young men feel or have experienced that the "grinding" you speak of comes at a cost that they're not willing to pay.

Like their soul, mental health and/or overall happiness? We're all heading to the grave one way or another and perhaps, to them, your idea of "success" would just be getting them there earlier than they'd like.

There is no one singular "right" way to live life, ya know.

Specific-Art-8932 · 2025-11-25T23:35:26+00:00

Why do so many young men think they shouldn’t be grinding for professional success and for women in their twenties

" Why don't men shut up and make me more money !! Men up and bottle every emotions from the ssues that affect you by the modern change "

Let me guess !! A female is the one who posted this..( yeah it's a classic )

Human being have eyes ( simple ) , those eyes enable us to see other people / objects / situations which help the brain process and compare ( basically do his job ) .

So when a man not even in his 20s is watching women living a life better than he could imagine economically , academically , socially , systemically and even politically then still being told that " women are opressed and he is the oppressor " . I don't think you should be asking " why isn't he putting double the effort for less the outcome " . Hell just try explaining to grown men let alone young ones on the subreddit " next door " why google didn't doodle anything for their national day just few months after their " women in STEM " ( yeah the same STEM that was 100% introduced by men ) .

Women expect :

● A hard working man that's somehow always available

● A solely built man but also expect him to help you build you bum @ss

● A successful man that is okay with you being a bum woman

● An emotional available man who simultaneously shouldn't get angry or mad at you.

● A mature man but somehow can't call you out

● An attractive man but also treat you like you are the more attractive one

● A sexually woke man but also shouldn't sexulize woman

● A man that show his love through effort and not words but also should have no expectation

● A man that is a feminist but also protect and provide

● A man that doesn't hate women but also okay with women hating men .

● A man that is " secure in his masculinity " when a woman shame him but would never shame women .

No thanks ...

Terrible_Mixture_759 · 2025-11-25T20:57:26+00:00

You can't be millenial and say the next gen is lazy man, they said that about us constantly. Still do

_hephaestus · 2025-11-25T20:37:22+00:00

I mean some amount of it is your bubble and economic conditions. NYC is work hard play hard city, it’s crowded but plenty of millennials went elsewhere and saved.

But you hit on an important subject with people looking back with rose colored glasses not considering survivor’s bias. It’s like how people wearing glasses will long to retvrn to monke, or the guy whose tinder swipe record indicates high standards also longs for the era where people just dated the people from their towns and there were barely any options. Pretty common failure mode to just remember the upside.

harmonica2 · 2025-11-25T21:39:22+00:00

When it comes to the idea of guys investing in themselves, they've said on here before that the juice is not worth a squeeze now compared to before but what changed there?

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-11-26T00:07:13+00:00

Yeah, i'm having around 4 hours of sleep per night... definitely not something i'd recommend, even less if you want to be successful. Unless what you want to achieve is an early death.

eluusive · 2025-11-26T02:47:30+00:00

Very wrong.

Men and women experience motivation significantly differently; and have different reasons for performing. Men's primary goal as a human male, is to find a woman to procreate with. That's intrinsic to men. Everything men do is ultimately towards this goal.

When a goal feels hopeless men give up and stop trying. Society has become more and more female coded; and of particular importance the areas of motivation. Additionally, women value intrinsic external characteristics far more valuable than anything else in a man now.

Women have clearly communicated that it doesn't matter how kind you are, how motivated you are, how honest you are, or really much of anything else. It's no surprise that men are more and more giving up on finding women; but also the rest of life. There is no point for many of us.

Women have largely taken away all the rewards and benefits of male performance. What is happening should not be a surprise.

Here's what ChatGPT has to say about the differences between male and female motivation and demotivation, for example:

Biological factors play a significant role in shaping motivation in both men and women, though the mechanisms and expressions often differ. In men, testosterone and dopamine pathways are linked to goal-directed behavior, competitiveness, and status-seeking, which can heighten motivation when they perceive opportunities for recognition, achievement, or approval from others, particularly women. Conversely, when men experience repeated failure, social rejection, or a lack of perceived control over outcomes, these same systems can contribute to apathy and hopelessness, as the drive for competence and status is thwarted. Women, in contrast, are more influenced by oxytocin and social bonding-related neurochemicals, which enhance motivation in contexts involving cooperation, social support, and relational alignment. A lack of social support, relational conflict, or social isolation can therefore lead to feelings of apathy or hopelessness in women, as their biologically reinforced drive for connection is blocked. While both sexes respond to reward signals in the brain, men’s motivation is often oriented toward demonstrating competence, achieving status, or providing for others, whereas women’s motivation tends to emphasize relational success, collaboration, and mutual reinforcement. In essence, men are biologically primed to be driven by external recognition and achievement-focused cues, while women are more attuned to social and relational feedback as sources of motivation, though both pathways can overlap depending on context and individual differences.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2025-11-26T07:44:28+00:00

Cause the "casual" demands women have for men is to high. And most women don't carry the same standards they demand off others. And especially relationship have very little value cause people give up for the smallest thing all the time.

Soo why should people value or care about it when the time limit to access for men and women is not the same and the peak for men is later on in life.

Its just smart. When people keep demanding more but giving less and less. To also value it less and less. Natural reaction honestly

gnomeweb · 2025-11-26T09:43:52+00:00

That simply isn't true, you have just read a bit too much linkedin. The number of people who have grinded their asses off has always been very low. For every grinding guy there are hundreds of men working on factories standard hours. Generally people just go with the flow on the path of the least resistance. The number of people who go through education that requires grinding is an insanely small percentage of people; and even then it often leads to them burning out and just doing the absolute minimum. The standards of living are determined by how much an average Joe works and how much he earns.

Silver_Switch_3109 · 2025-11-26T11:03:30+00:00

For professional success, a lot of young men know it is a lost cause. The economy is awful and most success is based on luck.

For women, a lot of men don’t think women are worth working hard for.

WebNew9978 · 2025-11-26T17:24:16+00:00

The ROI isn’t there anymore and it’s become extremely expensive to live in this world.

As a millennial who spent my 20s in NYC, it was understood that you had two priorities post college: to build your career and to socialize/party/date

These young men are relazing the American dream was a lie. The idea of working hard will get you good results isn’t there anymore (if it ever was). Especially in dating. We hate when men say they’re self improving so they can date women. Not to mention these men are constantly reminded that if you don’t have certain things, women aren’t going to date them. Why waste time and effort on something that you never had a chance to begin with? That doesn’t make sense.

Often this meant getting 4 fours of sleep or having 4 roommates, but you did it anyway. Wanting to save money over going out with your friends or buying a round of drinks was basically unheard of.

It’s not really healthy for anyone to be sleeping only 4 hours over a long period. Did you ever go to the movie theater during that time? If you want to go now, that’ll cost you $23. Want a better or more comfy seat, that’ll cost you more. Want iMax? $$$. Want something from the concession? That’ll cost you another $8-20

GenZ, isn’t as willing to exhaust or extend themselves as much as previous generations were and that is one of the major reasons dating seems harder

They’ve realized the juice isn’t worth the squeeze anymore.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-11-25T20:22:34+00:00

The “work hard play hard” dudes are still out there grinding it out and “spending it on the weekends”

But what you typically get on PPD is the ones that don’t wanna work hard, and expect the play hard to be provided to them.

BlueberryAccording45 · 2025-11-25T22:12:54+00:00

because no woman cares, women would rather date a tall good looking man with a a bachelors than a short 5 ' 4 balding guy with a masters, it doesnt matter, hope that helps

wtknight · 2025-11-26T00:16:34+00:00

That sounds like a miserable life. Life shouldn’t be boot camp. It’s better to have a relaxing life, find a job with a modest overcome, and meet someone overseas than to bother with the kind of life that you describe.

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Gentle_prv · 2025-11-26T17:45:05+00:00

I don’t know what to tell you. I have been in a relationship since I was 17 (I am almost 28), and my life has not been successful. My gf does not care about my lack of big success because she is realistic about the economy, society, etc. We recently had a conversation about if she had any opinions on my life or even current situation, and she said she really doesn’t care as long as I’m doing alright and that we’re (our relationship) alright.

The juice simply isn’t worth the squeeze, especially since wages have been stagnant for years, and our money barely goes as far as the previous generations did. I am a hard worker, I have good work ethic. However, I believe in “Work smarter, not harder”, and let me tell you, it is smarter to put forth barely any effort for a job that barely cares about you. If businesses started treating their workers with more respect (and paid more, as they should), people would stop doing the bare minimum and instead work with much more vigor.

The amount of entitlement in this post is something I would expect from a MAGA man (those traitors and Pharisees), not from any women. Where’s your empathy and sympathy for the “least of these?”

SeemedGood · 2025-11-27T00:21:04+00:00

Really it’s an evaluation of what you get for all that squeeze.

There was a time when performing the grind well netted you something better than a life of being attached to a retired party girl who resented you while complaining to all her retired party girlfriends who do nothing other than play tennis at the club and drink wine to excess in the $5mm houses you and your colleagues have bought for them in Fairfield County while your children are being spoiled at GFA, NCCS, and GCDS, until they divorce you at the next financial crisis, take the house and half your last 5 years’ bonuses, and run off with the club tennis pro to spend a week on St. Barts on your dime.

Source: Ex-banker who killed it on the grind from 1993-2014 and watched that happen to most of those who were on that grind with him.

Kreeps_United · 2025-11-27T00:41:15+00:00

Grindset culture is toxic and contributes to the death of men. You want them to do that and pursue relationships on top of it? No.

starbetrayer · 2025-11-27T04:29:50+00:00

The juice is not worth the squeeze

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2025-11-27T06:04:35+00:00

GenZ, isn’t as willing to exhaust or extend themselves as much as previous generations were

Good for them. Honestly, you probably come across to them the same way out of touch boomers come across to us with their ridiculous assertations about how much better their generation was, morally and kids these days just need to shape up and yadayada

People of each generation, and human beings generally speaking, don't just randomly decide to do things, they respond rationally to incentives.

Boomers didn't all go buy houses and get degrees because they were unusually ambitious, they did it because it was cheap and effective at the time.

Millenials social-circle-maxxed because during their youth, technological and cultural changes had not yet gutted third spaces.

Zoomers are just adapting to society's continued evolution and the digitization of everything social. Upcoming generations after them will be all about AI spouses. It's just the way things go. Not everyone younger than you just magically became dumber than you and decided not to go hard in life because they all stochastically happened to be lazier than their elders. Society, technology have evolved since you were a kid.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-11-27T06:50:49+00:00

Why play the game when it is rigged from the start? Why establish a career when the end result is to just beta bux for some used up mid tier woman like Akash Singh did only to get divorce raped up the ass?

AI sex robots, video games, and porn won't divorce rape you.

Btw, I say this as a Millenial man with a high paying job. But black pill ideology didn't exist when I was in school. My (perhaps delusional) belief that money would get me success and happiness is what motivated me to get so good at what I do, and in a way I'm grateful for it, but I can understand Gen Z men being nowhere near as optimistic as I was.

Financial_Window_990 · 2025-11-27T21:58:41+00:00

Because women never have to.

Frosty_Coffee6564 · 2025-11-28T05:58:31+00:00

Or, hear me out, some people get physically or mentally ill if they do 4 hrs sleep more than twice a week and average <6. Source: mental health discharge from the military in my 20s largely brought on by that and who knew many others with such problems or who were BARELY hanging on.

OwnerSebi · 2025-11-28T07:09:57+00:00

I actually just made a post somewhere based on this subject...kinda - https://np.reddit.com/r/Healthygamergg/s/SgwID9NHTR

A bit more context besides this. I am 24, in college, with a flexible job. I completely disagree with this, we shouldn't make things harder for ourselves just to work more, this should never be the goal as long as you make enough to keep a roof over your head. And if not, our first action should be to demand better conditions before drowning in work.

BigMadLad · 2025-11-25T22:16:36+00:00

Because women don’t have to do any of that, especially today. Today, you as a woman can start an only fans, post pictures of your feet, and earned 5K a month doing so.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-11-25T23:36:20+00:00

>One of the reasons I believe young men are so miserable is because they think their 20s are suppose to be easy. While they are and should be fun—its also the decade you push yourself the hardest, sleep the least, and are suppose to be okay not being comfortable

Ya, forgot the parts where ppl come out of college with a truck load of debt and still struggle to find employment.

Then your in 30s broke and have little no one relationship experience (and probably the latter) which just makes dating even harder.

Motor-Buy-6991 · 2025-11-26T19:16:59+00:00

Using your 20s to grind just to get a washed up slut out of her prime is not convincing. I would genuinely rather end my life.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-11-25T19:59:01+00:00

I don't know. Lack of will if I had to guess.

I knew I wanted my 20s to looks like partying and fun when I was a teen but I still knew I had to work hard. I went hard as hell but I still got my degrees and made out a good professional career for myself in the midst of all the drinking, clubs, partying, all of which I still do.

From observing people around me, it feels like a lot of dudes expected success to sort of fall out of the sky and just happen. They looked forward to a better future, especially for their 30s but didn't really work for it then either, they just had the idea that money and women would come.

While I saw other men going just as hard as me, I also saw a lot of dudes just sitting around and fantasizing. Now, those same dudes are still sitting around waiting on what's next. So just seems like a carousel of no wherewithal and no will imo. Which goes to say, I don't think it's exclusive to gen z given how men from my generation acted the same.

throwawaypi123 · 2025-11-25T23:08:06+00:00

I'm a millennial, being 22 with my first job was ez street 10 years ago. I could party 24/7 and not have to budget even and low budget travel. I earn 150 percent more than I did when I was that age. My life has completely changed and I look at expenses way more often. I don't spaff it up the walls I certainly have more money left but every basic thing I do costs loads of cash. Plus always feels like a rip off.

Having a graduate job which lost people made life easy. Maybe if you stayed in working class during your early 20s life is meant to be tough but top 70 percent man your life was reasonably good.

By the time I was 25 every peer was out of the house. Now not so much with my younger sister's peers.

Title	Why do so many young men think they shouldn’t be grinding for professional success and for women in their twenties
Author	middleoftheroad133
Upvotes	1
Comments	399
Date	November 25, 2025 7:51 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1p6mis2/why_do_so_many_young_men_think_they_shouldnt_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-so-many-young-men-think-they-shouldnt-be.1567411 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567411

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