Most men who don't have "success" with women are a-social. Lack of social skills is a far bigger hindrance than the aspect of looks.

wtknight · 2022-05-06T12:50:55+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim.

Wrasserman · 2022-05-06T11:44:12+00:00

I don't know why people like to play dumb when it comes to looks, as if you didn't assume this guy was a horrible person because he took an unflattering picture.

1Here4Bach · 2022-05-06T11:53:17+00:00

If a man doesn’t have the looks he MUST have above average social ability or his choices in dating will be few and far between.

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-05-06T11:20:31+00:00

Overweight tradesmen plumbers with beer bellies seem to do okay getting wives and having kids.

Maybe it's just us introverted nerds that can't do shit

Logry · 2022-05-06T11:13:30+00:00

not part of a social circle

Having a group of friends to do activities with doesn't imply meeting other poeple. When you go out in group to get a beer, a bike ride or a BBQ you're mainly here to enjoy your friends and the activity at hand. I won't even mention cultural activities, dating in a museum lol.

I can understand when it comes to gigs etc. to "bounce back" on music tatstes but that won't fix the lack of routine to discuss and share with the people you meet. If their passions boil down to "netflix, laughing and sushi" it's fucked

Rook_Cross · 2022-05-06T11:32:34+00:00

I will keep reposting this until these weak sauce blue-pill takes go away.

Tons of threads about high standards and looks. A few too many commenters asserted that looks are only one part of the equation and I got triggered. I’m reposting my response below because PPD should know better:

Attractive men get more dates and more relationships, and it doesn’t seem to matter on average how “cool” unattractive guys’ personalities are, it won’t get them the results that attractive people get. I’m sure there are individual cases of attractive people with shit personalities and average people with great personalities, but broadly speaking looks outperform personality and it’s not close.

In this study the researchers presented subjects with profiles and varied the income, the warmth (how much the profile talked about family, friends, helping community), the sophistication of the writing, etc. However you sliced it, an attractive person scoring low on a trait scored higher overall than an unattractive person scoring high on those traits.

PPD usually rejects these studies by suggesting the participants are not representative or OLD isn’t real life. Fine but please present evidence of a similar study that contradicts these findings, I need more evidence than anecdote to dismiss a peer-reviewed study.

None of this means you are doomed if you’re average. We should just be careful about statements like “looks are only one factor” which imply that physical attractiveness has the same magnitude of impact as being friendly and sociable, social science does not seem to agree with that view.

dakingmonvii · 2022-05-06T14:45:10+00:00

This is probs only half true. Pretty privilege is a thing for sure.

athlete2biz · 2022-05-06T11:03:00+00:00

Yes but good looking ppl are going to have opportunities to socialize where the ugly guy won’t even get the chance.

There’s always that rly nice guy but he looks kinda weird or smells weird.

So looks correlate with socialization.

Grappleheart · 2022-05-06T11:22:49+00:00

Well I believe you have oversimplified the problem. 1. While having social skills does help it is definitely not the end all be all. Being thought of in a sexual way is. The term DUFF exist (designated ugly fat friend) exists for a reason. There are people who are very social and very active but due to their appearance are never thought of in a sexual manner. This especially happens in East Asian populations. Indian accents are traditionally not sexy after all.

The things that make you social with one group of people do not make you social with other groups. For instance many men have no problems being social with other men and having fun with them but put them in a situation with women and the traditional jokes, puns and expressions that work with men become banal and ugly.
Perception is also very important. If one is perceived as a follower in a group they often will not get the same respect as a leader. Which begs the question are followers not social? They really are though.

So as you can see it is much more nuanced.

ConfidentPain1834 · 2022-05-06T12:11:16+00:00

Alright, alright describe "social skills" for me. What social skills are these dudes lacking that other dudes have, and are apparently key to being successful with women?

And don't say "they're part of a circle." That's not a skill

The_Meep_Lord · 2022-05-06T12:44:21+00:00

Explain to me the guys who move in different cities with no social circles, use online dating and get more dates than i could ever imagine

jacemano · 2022-05-06T10:51:58+00:00

Or be neurodivergent and put yourself out there, a lot. Eventually you'll be able to pass

ThrowawayCactus6012 · 2022-05-06T11:28:45+00:00

I think it's probably a bit of both - social skills and looks. Grooming and appearance may also relate to social skills.

However, this line jumped out at me.

The problem is that having social skills is the ultimate proof of being a trustworthy person.

Really? Every politician, con artist, and salesman could be living proof that this statement is absolutely wrong.

TheGreatXavi · 2022-05-06T14:22:47+00:00

I really wonder if these men are really asocial. Because, as a guy who is a-social, I've been aware of my asocialness since like, 9 years old? Maybe even younger than that. I think its something I always realized since I was a kid, and during my early teenage years ( like 13 to 15 years old), something I knew it will greatly affects my future dating life.

If you don't think like that, you are probably okay and just unlucky with dates, I don't think you are really asocial.

A real asocial guy should have known this without anyone telling him.

Rook_Cross · 2022-05-06T17:47:51+00:00

Its all about a cycle of positive reinforcement or negative reinforcement.

The ugly kid has to turn to anime, junk food, and his bedroom. While the good looking people get positive reinforcement and party, social life, ect. Its hard for those to change one they are set in stone

IntrospectThyself · 2022-05-06T21:03:46+00:00

The problem is that having social skills is the ultimate proof of being a trustworthy person.

In the not so near future, as people become more educated, how ND (neurodivergent) people are viewed and discriminated against is going to become seen how homophobia and racism are seen now.

ND people do not lack social skills, they simply social differently and are discriminated against because of it.

Autistic and gifted people actually tend to be much more trustworthy, honest and logical than NTs. In fact, in the workplace, usually it is autistic individuals who are the best and most reliable workers. So it also has nothing to do with trustworthiness.

However, I do agree with you that this is the current state of things. And that people assume being ND and socializing differently means you are untrustworthy. It’s the classic xenophobic bias of “you’re not like me? You must be wrong/bad/untrustworthy” that is at the root of so many issues in the world.

Recent studies, called the double empathy problem, showed that autistic people socialized very easily with other autistic people. It may look odd or like a different language to NTs from the outside. It’s when ND individuals are forced to socialize like NTs that they look weird or untrustworthy because it’s the majority imposing their norms upon the ND minority and then judging the result. What if it was reversed and NTs were in the minority and had to learn to socialize like NDs, it would probably make them seem weird and untrustworthy too.

Wrasserman · 2022-05-06T11:23:04+00:00

A lot of people won't give you the time of day if you're ugly though

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-05-06T12:56:04+00:00

I think you're not being totally fair.

How do you become social when you were a-social all your life?

How do you connect with others when others don't want to connect with you?

Social interaction can't be forced.

Most young men are attractive, but it doesn't matter because most young men who complain don't interact with other people. Here's the problem.

We can't go from "being attractive" to "being extroverted." You are who you are.

We don't tell young girls to be extroverts.

What these young men have to do is evaluate themselves and be the change they want to see.

They tend to stay in and play video games for hours and when they realize that time is passing quickly, they start talking about "they missed it".

They have to do the opposite and learn to be comfortable doing it before going after girls.

Nobody taught them how to do it, so it's understandable and they don't have to put more on the table because they're men.

But I add because I agree with you up to a point, from 18 to 30 there are 12 years. These young men fill time with resentment while young women live the life... because they're not going to sit around waiting for the "nice guy" to finally say something.

I've seen and known good-looking guys, ugly guys, average guys be succesful with women. There is one trait there all had in common : They were social.

No.

Georgist_Muddlehead · 2022-05-06T13:30:20+00:00

What is the biggest problem with being asocial?

1) Not meeting women (I.e. a woman might go out with an asocial man, but she doesn't have the opportunity)

2) Woman are concerned if they find out you aren't social (because they think either you don't want friends, or you aren't appealing enough to make and maintain friendships - you failed preselection)

3) You aren't appealing enough to make friends (the underlying reason for this is why women don't like you, rather than being asocial)

4) Being asocial makes you unhappy and being unhappy makes you unattractive

5) Being asocial suggests a higher than normal probability of lack of experience with sex and relationships (even if they find you attractive, they might be concerned about your maturity)

Spigot_AT4 · 2022-05-06T17:17:34+00:00

I think when talking about looks you should consider more than just facial beauty. You can't conflate ugly with unattractive. I also know of one undeniably ugly guy who is successful with women, but he's around 190 cm tall, so not exactly unattractive.

When it comes to truly unattractive guys (short and/or small build, obese, deformed, etc.) I don't know any who are successful. Sure, they might get a GF once in a blue moon, but they're still generally unsuccessful and undesirable.

One other thing that should be considered is that being popular often gets interpreted as being sexually successful. There are lots of unattractive guys who are popular with both men and women and people on these forums like using them as examples that it's not all about looks, but what I'm interested in is if there's anything suggesting that they are sexually successful. Because I sure as hell know popular guys who have absolutely nothing about them that would suggest they are successful. Nevertheless, popularity and getting laid often get conflated and it's fallacious thinking.

So your experiences fly in the face of mine, but I'm pretty sure they also fly in the face of statistical data. As far as I remember, the biggest predictors of sexual success among college-age men were hypermasculinity, physical attractiveness and testosterone. The closest thing that comes to anything remotely social-skills related that is also one of the biggest predictors is sensation-seeking behaviour. I'm not even sure I would count that as a social skill tbh.

Rook_Cross · 2022-05-06T13:55:39+00:00

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IhaveLostCount · 2022-05-06T14:25:06+00:00

Asocial and lacking social skills are literally not the same thing. I’m so done with this mixing up of “Asocial” “lacks social skills” and “Anti-Social” being mixed up by simpletons. They’re all distinctly different, I won’t explain since I have no faith anyone will actually care as they haven’t thus far.

rhumel · 2022-05-07T00:15:34+00:00

It's 100% true and I would encourage any man to dare and socialize with as many women as they can, no matter the purpose.

Social skills are like any other skill: you get better with practice. Some people seem to be born with that skill but most people just trained it without knowing it.

I was introverted when I was young then I went to law school and my life took a 180 degree. I was socializing like never before and my whole dating life got a HUGE boost...

Though I do have a discrepancy with your thoughts: HAVING SOCIAL SKILLS IS NOT THE ULTIMATE PROOF OF BEING A TRUSTWORTHY PERSON. Too many women seem to think that if a man is able to socialize with others, be funny, etc. he "seems normal" and is trustworthy.

Truth is most psychopaths (which are not serial killers btw) are very good at superficial social skills. Manipulative people excel at social skills. Liars are very very very good at convincing you how socially adapt they're.

Meanwhile a shy introvert would have the roughest of time trying to fake anything and I find them to be the most trustworthy persons in the world (off course I'm generalizing).

smallstarseeker · 2022-05-06T11:14:30+00:00

I call B.S.

Lack of social skills is a hinderance, but looks matter more then personality.

2022-05-06T18:24:24+00:00

Yes, and a mans attitude and behaviour directly influences their perceived attractiveness. Now I do have an attractiveness threshold, but a man can be super handsome but if he isnt for example assertive but still nice etc he will not be attractive. I know legit handsome guys who lack social skills and then convince themselves they are incels in the sense of "bad genetic material", meanwhile ik slighltly above average men who have sucess and even have a woman above them in value because they know how to act.

Many introverts struggle I would say. Haha where I live there is an engineering school and there are many smart, handsome and sporty guys who might have a bit more luck that the stereotypical nerd there, but still are essentially incels. Makes me think of a guy every girl in middle school and highschool 3 years younger had a crush on based on looks, but nobpdy ended up wanting a relationship with him because he had such an "unsexy" personality. When talking to him it was like as if he was nervous with every sentence. He got one girlfriend, who dumped him for an uglier and poorer and whatnot guy, but with more extroverted and spontaneous personality.
Another factor: I used the word "chadcels" which are men who are hypermasculine in behaviour making relationships hard to maintain (and yes casual sex blabla but women even with those guys are hoping for relationships) or for women to concider. I have friends who rejected those guys because they think they won't make good boyfriends then they go and convince themselves that they are incels. Or even in looks some men are to hypermasculine for women to want that. I'm thinking of my uncle for example who is quite "chad" by those standard but it worked against him and women don't want LTR with him.

Johnfeb94 · 2022-05-06T19:33:30+00:00

I agree with this. If you are popular with people = hard social proof. It takes either you being raised very well from the get go or a lot of gut wrenching failures, practice, sacrifice, and intelligence to get to the point of having above average social skills and prowess.

username_6916 · 2022-05-06T20:19:24+00:00

Counter: The kind of social skills around flirting and meeting new people are utterly unrelated to the kind of social skills that make someone a good friend or husband. Being bad at flirting doesn't make one untrustworthy, indeed I'd argue that it's the opposite.

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2022-05-06T22:06:46+00:00

Most of these men who are unattractive also have bad social skills. You know why? Because of isolation, rejection, being ignored in society, not fitting in etc.

trololol_daman · 2022-05-07T02:32:14+00:00

Have you ever considered that unattractive people are far more likely to be a-social due to negative reinforcement?

2022-05-07T06:59:26+00:00

I've been on dates with guys who I thought were better looking than me who didn't know it, but still uncomfortable with the lack of social skills in person and bailed.

a-social is a yellow to red flag. The chances of him being pilled, an asshole, mentally unwell, majorly depressed, identify as iamverysmart, it's too high and it's no fun for a partner

Tramelo · 2022-05-06T10:48:43+00:00

With neurotypical referring to the idea of a properly socialized person.

It goes deeper than that, neurotypical and neurodiverse are about your brain wiring, but yeah, that will generally lead the NT to have much more social skills and experience.

But other than that I agree

majani · 2022-05-06T11:50:32+00:00

The key issue is the definition of success with women. Anyone can get an average girl to be kinda "meh" about them in a relationship. These men AND women who are unhappy with the dating market don't want these average results. They want A+ results, where their partners are attractive, totally enamored by them and let them have their way in the relationship. Their anger stems from the fact that there are limitations to getting this type of A+ results in relationships. They wish everyone could somehow get A+ results, but that's just not how the world works

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T11:04:50+00:00

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ClaraBow01 · 2022-05-06T17:12:30+00:00

Very true for both genders. I’m thin, young, and considered physically attractive, but I’ve never had a boyfriend. However, I’m very shy and don’t go out much. I can carry a conversation but I just don’t seek out the opportunity. It’s a completely self-inflicted wound and I hold no bitterness.

Rook_Cross · 2022-05-06T11:52:39+00:00

There is certainly some truth to this. I’ve suffered from social anxiety and depression all my life which I have mostly attributed to my weight. I briefly lost weight for a period but it didn’t improve it much. I’m currently trying to lose it again.

I think lack of socialization at an early age has led me to being poorly socialized now in my adulthood and it is a challenge that has prevented me from making effective professional, social, and romantic relationships.

ruboyuri · 2022-05-06T16:52:44+00:00

Does this apply to online interactions as well?

Eric_The_Jewish_Bear · 2022-05-06T17:15:05+00:00

gotta love having aspergers

no one talks to you bc your innate lack of social skills

you never develop your social skills since people dont wanna talk to you or feel weird about it

sirpsychosexy8 · 2022-05-06T19:31:04+00:00

They are both barriers to entry

Nodeal_reddit · 2022-05-06T19:43:26+00:00

Sales guys and youth pastors pull smoking hot wives. Common thread? Extroverts who know how to engage people.

2022-05-06T20:58:29+00:00

I have Asperger syndrome and I agree with you that lack of social skills make harder to get dates but at tge same time it does not make it impossible as there are aspies who are married.

If an aspie date a woman who is aspie herself I believe that it makes the relationship more sucessful.

Aspie women also may fail with men.

Philip8000 · 2022-05-06T23:35:00+00:00

Funny, I've said this on many occasions, only for people to tell me: "No, it's all looks! Women only want Chad!"

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2022-05-06T12:08:57+00:00

I have never been a particularly social individual. I am naturally introverted and awkward, and I have stopped trying to fit into any groups as a teenager. I just live my life and try not to be too much of an asshole.

And yet, I've never had any issues meeting women. I haven't been single for more than a month since I turned 15. Meanwhile tons of these super extroverted people who go paragliding every other day and live in a tent while hiking in groups are still alone.

It's Friday and I am looking forward to spending my evening alone at home with my hobbies because the girlfriend is out of town. Screw being social lmao

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T11:19:36+00:00

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bluestjuice · 2022-05-06T12:26:48+00:00

The problem with ‘soft skills’ is that they’re difficult to define and quantify, and the particular cadre of folks who hang out in Internet forums debating the relative import of various aspects on dating success only want to crunch the numbers.

Notanothrshitthrow · 2022-05-06T12:44:41+00:00

Noting that the halo effect and pretty privilege is always going to play a part, I agree entirely.

I have friends of varying attractiveness, the main causation behind their success with women is their social skills, not looks.

If you live a boring life with minimal real life interaction with friends and acquaintances, then women are going to see you as a boring person.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T11:43:16+00:00

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basedconfidentsbro · 2022-05-06T17:36:52+00:00

I've seen and known good-looking guys, ugly guys, average guys be successful with women. of course there will be ugly guys and average guys with above average women but of course these same above average women are not stupid to think their only option is their ugly and average looking boyfriend, why would they sleep and be with unattractive men when they are 3-4 points above them in looks well simply these unattractive men get above average women with their high status and money its simple these women will be with rich men high status men even if the men are unattractive all for financial security but when the money runs out and everything falls down that same women is going to find a more attractive guy with wealth and money ESPECIALLY if she is young, tell me this you think an attractive women is going to be with an average guy who has an average job and an average lifestyle OVER an average old man whos rich living a luxurious lifestyle flying to different countries you really think women are going to choose that boring lifestyle with an average man especially a young women?

There is one trait they all had in common : Not social, not part of a social circle.
An attractive person doesnt need social skills to attract all he does just post his photos online and get women young and old commenting about his looks and especially on online dating the attractive person can have 0 bio and still get 100 of likes and matches. does online dating app like tinder show "social skills" of course not then why are average guys getting little to none likes or matches even with bios when an attractive guy doesn't need a bio and get x100 more than an average guy get from online dating, now social circle an attractive person with the best approach can approach women without seeing as a creep from a women inside the social circle but an ugly person whos very unattractive approaching a women in his social circle like work place whatever with the same way the attractive person did the ugly guy will be seen more creepy than the attractive guy why? cant be the way he approach when the ugly guy approach the same way as the attractive guy why is that? must be his looks.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T12:03:29+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T12:53:30+00:00

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Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-05-06T14:02:32+00:00

This is the pill they don't want to swallow. But it's the truth.

Most people I know met their significant other because friend groups collided and they hit it off. Or their friends dragged them out to an event and they met someone.

shonenhikada · 2022-05-06T20:32:25+00:00

A no. Social skills rarely matter when it comes to women. In fact, a woman will attach positive traits onto you based on what you look like (it is what we refer to as halo effect).

Bodybuilding.com/misc proved this claim through social experiments showcasing the outcome of a good looking guy's profile where he had the personality of someone who was an autist/retarded. Needless to say said profile had no problem getting women who were 7/10 and below.

Other social experiments done on bodybuilding.com/misc include creating a dating profile in which the man literally stated he was a sex offender who was found guilty of raping little girls in the past but has now change. Also had personality of an autist in chats with women and did well.

Sadly i can't bring these studies up due to bodybulding.com/misc going underground after repeated spam attacks of people posting gay porn on the side via new accounts.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T12:48:40+00:00

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tired_hillbilly · 2022-05-06T13:32:35+00:00

Well I mean this is just a fact. Uggos with great personality get success better than sex gods who are arseholes.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-05-06T12:19:33+00:00

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urukshai · 2022-05-06T16:50:02+00:00

As an asocial nonbreeding male, I HATE TO AGREE WITH YOU. DELET THIS.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2022-05-06T17:01:33+00:00

Not being social will hurt your chances, but being social isn't necessarily enough to help your chances. It's a neutral, baseline expectation, like being nice. Everyone is expected to be socially competent in a group, but you have to actually be interesting or funny to stand out (if you're not attractive).

Just hanging out with people, contributing your "safe" opinions to the conversation, and showing up in group photos isn't enough to do that.

anon_enuf · 2022-05-06T18:13:58+00:00

An an attractive, a-social guy, this is 100% accurate

2022-05-06T19:30:55+00:00

I think you are spot on buddy. Couldn't have said it better.

Rook_Cross · 2022-05-06T19:40:04+00:00

This is the biggest thing. So many people these days lack basic social skills, have anxiety disorders, are narcissistic, risk averse, so take less risks, don't have family and friend social networks and don't work to build them. They lack the basics and that is also why they turn around and blame women. They're just lacking so badly they don't even have the ability to recognize they're massive shortfall. It should be glaringly obvious the evil things they boldly say and want on here. But they don't clue in, it's amazing.

IWillKeepYourSecret · 2022-05-06T23:21:34+00:00

I used to work in sales. Though I'm a woman, I'd still like to put in my own two cents.

People are followers. It's something a lot of people on this sub preach as well: If woman A likes a man, Woman B, C and D will follow. If A doesn't like someone, the others will dislike him, too.

This goes for men as well. It's a universal concept. Biologically, it makes sense. If one person deems someone "unsafe," it's best to steer clear just in case.

This is why insecurity is such a deal-breaker/cockblock. When speaking to someone who cannot hide their low self-confidence, non-verbal cues are passed on that something is off. There is simply something that doesn't allow you to be comfortable when talking to that person. Subconsciously, you're mirroring the other person's emotional state and picking up on certain cues. Shallow breathing, rapid speech, nervous fidgeting; they're uncomfortable, and so you are uncomfortable. If you are uncomfortable, something must be wrong. Because of their insecurity, the other person is non-verbally communicating to you that they're "unsafe." And because they hold that opinion, by instinct, you will too.

If a person is confident and charismatic, they're comfortable. They allow themselves to be where they are because they feel like they can. If they feel that way, then who are you to disagree? You feel at ease in their presence because they feel at ease in their presence.

Culturally, as well as biologically, this effect is more prominent for men. If a woman is insecure, she doesn't immediately feel unsafe to others. Women are often seen as harmless, and so the insecurity can translate to them needing to be protected. This harmlessness is also why "UwU-softboys" are allowed a similar pass.

I could write a book about the psychology behind all this stuff. Regardless, people should stop underestimating the importance of social skills and self-image.

xsurferdude123x · 2022-05-07T02:49:09+00:00

100%.

Easteuroblondie · 2022-05-07T02:54:04+00:00

Absolutely. I've known some at-first-take unattractive guys who absolutely mowed through sexual partners.

they were generally good conversationalists with good senses of humor

The-God-Of-Ass · 2022-05-07T18:14:20+00:00

boi wut

you're saying if i just spoke more people will fall on my crotch? WOW

tldr didnt work

ScrawnyWhiteBoy94 · 2022-05-08T19:47:37+00:00

Most men who don't have "success" with women are a-social. Lack of social skills is a far bigger hindrance than the aspect of looks

This only applies to men who are average looking and below. If you're ugly, or average looking, you need decent social skills, since most women aren't going to be attracted to you from appearance alone.

On the other hand, if you're a really good looking guy, say a solid 8/10 or higher, you can get away with poorer personality/social skills, because your looks will get your opportunities that less attractive men will receive.

ScrawnyWhiteBoy94 · 2022-05-08T19:50:57+00:00

You don't even need social skills either. My roommate is a fat neckbeard who does nothing but sit at home and smoke and play video games all day. The irony is that out of all 4 of us, he's the only one in a steady long term relationship.

tossa445 · 2022-05-08T23:23:16+00:00

This hits home for me. My problem is that I don't interact with anyone except old friends, work friends, and internet friends. I'm perfectly happy with that and socially/intellectually fulfilled with this arrangement but it makes meeting women very difficult.

When I was in high school/college, I found it super easy to meet women and form relationships. I took that for granted and couldn't possibly imagine how different it would be as a working adult. the prospect of inventing reasons to form another social circle for the sole purpose of attracting women seems inauthentic. I actually went back for another degree in my mid-20s, and opted for the in-person program despite being much more expensive. I wanted a reason to form an authentic social circle with other people who had similar interests and intellect.

Unfortunately the program was virtualized from COVID, and although I ended up in a nice new job I didn't end up hanging onto any friends because the entire program was virual after the first semester and I still had to pay the full in-person tuition... I feel like that was one of my last shots at the thing that was foiled, and not sure where to go from here.

quinn9648 · 2022-05-09T17:20:53+00:00

Yeah it’s true. Can confirm, have good job and look pretty good but act retarded.

2022-05-17T05:38:42+00:00

Neurotypical doesn't automatically mean social and neurodivergent doesn't automatically mean a-social or anti-social.

I'm neurodivergent. ADHD, Dyscalculia, and Sensory Processing Disorder with a hypersensitive flavor. I'm also social. I socialize with people who don't require me to mask my neurodivergent traits. Largely that is other neurodivergent individuals, but occasionally I end up talking to neurotypicals.

That being said, I do agree with the main statement that a lack of social skills makes it more difficult to bond with a guy.

StolenSpirit · 2022-05-18T02:43:40+00:00

I'm looking through these comments and I can't seem to find a common ground. One thing is for sure. If you're any sort of independent person moved out, living on their own, having a career, being a homeowner in their late 20s, like me. And and finding any sort of time outside of the 9-5 grind to do anything with friends if you have them - or if they moved away which is most likely the case, or if you work out at home and have gym in your basement like me- there's absolutely no way to meet or gain new friends . Weekends are catching up and cleaning, the last thing I want to do is waste time hanging out with friends. That's like something you grow out of. Sure you can go out and have fun hobbies with people but I highly doubt it's an every weekend thing. No one is like that in the working class. You're a busy body. That doesn't mean you lack social skills. It means you value your own self worth and time and especially productivity. That's an aspect I can understand why if I flat out mentioned that to a girl they would see it as weird or introverted (how they claim to actually have the ability to see their friends and hangout meet up whatever is definitely a female thing, males wouldn't put that much effort into making time for friends when they can be focused on themselves) but no that's just society, and reality. Point me in the direction of where you have someone who works full time still hangs out with their best friend (who probably has a family has a life of their own doing their own things) so you think they make time for you outside of you scrolling past their latest Facebook pictures? No!

Coat-This · 2022-06-08T22:56:16+00:00

You have a solid point…now can people come up with ways to build a social circle for men in their late 20s,30s and 40s?

Title	Most men who don't have "success" with women are a-social. Lack of social skills is a far bigger hindrance than the aspect of looks.
Author	meteorness123
Upvotes	287
Comments	330
Date	May 6, 2022 10:38 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ujkj6q/most_men_who_dont_have_success_with_women_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-men-who-dont-have-success-with-women-are-a.1115319 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115319

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