Why Should Men Get Married?

gntlbastard · 2023-08-29T21:13:30+00:00

Why should men get married?

They shouldn't.

To me, it seems like something with a massive risk

It is

But at the end of the day a dude who knows all this and engages in this has no one to blame but himself. The only option men have here is to avoid engaging in marriage or serious relationships with women - which won't happen.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-08-29T18:43:33+00:00

Don't get married if you don't want to. Simple.

But if these are the things you are concerned about, I have some advice. First, don't have kids. Child support exists regardless of marriage.

Next, if you really want to have kids, two things: 1) maintain a commitment to being an equivalent presence in the kids lives; and 2) pick a partner with roughly equivalent earning potential, or a partner that is capable of being financially independent. Among the younger generation, this really isn't that hard.

Really the second piece of advice solves all your divorce issues too. The men that lose half their shit in divorce, as people so lovingly put it, don't want 50/50 custody and sought out a homemaker/caregiver partner. For extremely intuitive and obvious reasons, those men are still responsible for their family after separation from their wives.

retal1ator · 2023-08-30T06:30:34+00:00

In most western countries there is absolutely zero reasons to get married for a man, unless you’re destitute and your future wife is way richer than you.

All arrangements, including safeguarding the kids future, sharing assets, showing commitment, and arranging for when you’re gone can all be set up without a marriage certificate.

You can live the same life as you two were married without having to officially be married, therefore keeping the state out of your family life (for the most part).

If you do marry as a man be ready to enjoy a long list of risks, including having to face family courts (which statistically favour women), alimony payments in case things go wrong, arbitrary asset assignments, and all the rest most redpillers know about.

In my view, the worst thing about marriage for a man is that you wife will know, at any time during the relationship, about your position of weakness.

Imagine the average marriage where HE has more assets and income than her, and she knows she will be awarded more in a divorce.

If she starts to become unhappy, it’s like living with someone with a red button on their hands; she knows she can ruin your life, you know it, other people know it. It’s awful as a position to be in even if things go ok.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-08-29T19:52:41+00:00

Why should men get married?

They want to.

If they don't want to get married. They don't have to.

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-08-29T20:43:03+00:00

Having been married for nearly a decade myself, I've loved it, I love my wife, the family we build with our now four children, etc.,

That being said because of some of the reasons you listed here it's not something I would advise to most young men these days, you're not going to get the same benefits of marriage as men in the previous generations date, I don't even think most people go into marriage with the intent of being lifelong anymore, I think 50 cent said it best in his book that he used to look at people getting married as "this is just my really serious boyfriend"( paraphrasing), if you're a young guy coming up who has built himself into something, has options and all that jazz I wouldn't recommend getting married unless you absolutely plan on having kids, almost has to be a straight-up business decision as opposed to a love one

jacare_o · 2023-08-30T02:53:36+00:00

Don't sign a legal marriage agreement, unless your partner makes more money than you. The instant they make less than you, divorce them. Legal marriage only benefits the lower earner.

If you want to have kids, go to a default 50-50 custody state, like KY, and have kids there.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-08-29T18:49:53+00:00

Being married to your best friend is like having a sleepover every night except sometimes you bang each other!

2023-08-29T18:52:32+00:00

Just don't do it. Nothing good will come from it in today's western society. Only the young boys that have had the same girlfriend from the beginning should marry them. And that's few and far in-between to almost non-existent.

wtknight · 2023-08-29T20:17:59+00:00

Men who are reticent about getting married shouldn’t get married. Men who have no problem making a commitment to a woman whom he loves should.

SianOiseau · 2023-08-29T18:16:09+00:00

Men should marry if they want to get married.

It's the same with women and it isn't really gendered. If you want to get married, go ahead. If you don't want to, no one can force you and you shouldn't really take this step.

Some common reasons why people get married: they want to built their lives together, they want the law and people around them to see them as one (legal) unit, they want to give their partner legal protection that comes with marriage etc. Being legally married does make all of these things easier - you have easier time getting mortgage together, you're automatically considered your spouse's closest person in case of emergency, you get work/tax spouse benefits etc.

Considering divorce, child support and alimony I'll just copy a part of my old post:

Men often state that women gain more from divorce, while men lose more. It largely depends on a country and in case of the US a state we're talking about, considering that lots of places have family law stating that community property gets divided 50/50. Alimony is pretty rare these days - I couldn't find a specific study or stats, but most articles show 10%. An average child support payment is less than 500$ and less than 50% of custodial parents receive full payment. It's no wonder that men’s disproportionate strain of divorce is transient, whereas women’s is chronic and it's mostly financial. Women more often become single parents as a result of divorce and while we can argue whether most men want or don't want to get shared/main custody, I think we all can agree that a single parent has it harder in terms of finance and free time. The other parent has more freedom but they also spend less time with their kids which can be a major downside for some...and a positive thing for others depending on a person.

Edit: also saying that women initiate 80% divorces is misleading without giving the stats on divorce rates. It's 40% for first marriages and less than 30% for educated couples.

djdmaze · 2023-08-30T03:16:37+00:00

No one could list one positive for men to get married. The most cliche and overused answer: “Men should get married if they want to”….that’s not a pro people lol so there are none apparently

ArjunSingh777 · 2023-08-29T21:21:31+00:00

That's my question too. From scenarios of past 10 years till now my believe in women and marriage is losing day by day after hearing and reading the actions women doing. Main reason is infidelity. And law is supporting them by making it non criminal act. 😔

stlmick · 2023-08-29T22:23:13+00:00

So don't. I'm 40 this month and didn't. I've seen far more bad ones than good ones. I'll pass.

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2023-08-30T09:38:22+00:00

They shouldn’t unless they have a child, and even then need a prenup that includes a provision for requiring sex or the marriage is over. Go to dead bedrooms and find out how many bait and switch marriages there are.

sppongee · 2023-08-29T19:20:53+00:00

Just because 80% of divorces are made by women doesn’t mean that they are all because of dumb reasons they’re are plenty of justifiable reasons why a woman would divorce abuse,drug addiction,the dude cheated,him being lazy af etc I’m sure there are a lot of women who do divorce for dumb reasons but there is also a lot who divorce for justifiable reasons

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-08-29T18:56:21+00:00

Cuz you don’t think she’ll cheat and leave you, and building a future feels a lot better than gaming, sports and drinking with the boys.

Course, she did cheat and ruin me, so eh, yeah, you just don’t consider it ending

Wattehfok · 2023-08-29T23:12:24+00:00

Dude - if you're super pressed about marriage don't get married. Literally no one will stop you.

Travis-Varga · 2023-08-29T18:54:17+00:00

Why get married?

You love your girlfriend, you want to spend the rest of your life with her and you want the legal closeness that comes with marriage. Same last name, next of kin, shared property, spousal privilege.

Women initiate 80% of divorces, and with no-fault divorce, a woman can cheat on you and still take half your stuff and get alimony.

Women initiating 80% of divorces doesn’t mean women are morally responsible for 80% of divorces, for ruining the relationship or whatever. I think most of the time the guilty party will not want a divorce. Like, if a husband abuses his wife, then he’s not going to want to divorce her.

Divorce should be no-fault. The idea that a woman or man can force you to sacrifice yourself to them by staying married is gross. You can use a prenup to void alimony in the case of cheating.

Prenups can be easily thrown out as a woman can just say she was under duress and the prenup gets thrown out.

What? Where are you getting this from? This sounds like nonsense.

enbaelien · 2023-08-30T16:34:16+00:00

Does TRP not know about prenups? You gotta marry someone on the same level as you. Like, I feel like the majority of divorces can be seen from lightyears away lol.

YveisGrey · 2023-08-30T17:19:32+00:00

Made a whole bunch of claims with zero evidence, studies etc… how do you know all these things you claim are true in the first place? Aren’t they just assertions?

Southern_Fall983 · 2023-08-30T17:22:11+00:00

They shouldn’t. It’s that simple. It’s their end game, never think it’s just about “you” and nothing else

Slipthe · 2023-08-29T19:17:18+00:00

Emotional and Social Connection: Marriage can provide a deep emotional and social connection, offering companionship, support, and a shared life journey with a partner.

Family and Children: For those who desire a family and children, marriage can provide a stable environment to raise kids and create a sense of belonging.

Legal and Financial Benefits: Marriage can offer legal and financial benefits, such as joint tax filing, inheritance rights, access to health insurance, and spousal Social Security benefits.

Shared Goals: Marriage often signifies a commitment to shared goals, aspirations, and values. It can provide a strong foundation for building a life together.

Social Recognition: Marriage is often recognized and celebrated in society, which can provide a sense of belonging and validation for many couples.

Health and Well-Being: Some studies suggest that married individuals tend to experience better mental and physical health compared to unmarried individuals.

Cultural and Religious Beliefs: Cultural or religious beliefs may emphasize the importance of marriage as a significant life milestone.

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HungriestGhost · 2023-08-29T18:06:50+00:00

I want kids and also being lonely is a slow and miserable death.

Theirs a limit too how much you can fool yourselves into being a stoic guy or a strong and independent woman.

Eventually you come to the realization that going through life with people who truly care for you is everything

HolidayWhile · 2023-08-29T18:11:30+00:00

If you think she might divorce you, she isn't even dating material. The only reason this is such a problem is that horny men enable it.

velvetalocasia · 2023-08-29T19:01:08+00:00

can we acknowledge that filing the papers is not the same as „initiating“ divorce. The woman doesn’t take „half your stuff“ but „half of both of your stuff“.
10% of divorces get alimony…….that’s not a problem for the average man. No matter if married and divorced or never married, you have to pay for your kids! Cs does not depend on marriage.
prenups can not be „easily thrown out“ if you make them properly.
actually statistically men fair better after divorce than women financially and all.

That being said, if you don’t want to be married don’t do it!

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-08-29T18:24:30+00:00

Thank god the average man doesn't have shit.
Because men don't fight for custody. The AVERAGE child support payment is like 450.
This isn't true.
Because statistically men make more money. Though this is changing.

You get tax breaks n shit.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-08-29T18:12:44+00:00

because they want to, the only reason that matters.

Xaviermanx2 · 2023-08-29T19:50:40+00:00

Never ever marry a western woman. Stay the fuckkkkk away from them unless you ploughing them.

I dont know why the fuckk white men be marrying them when its easy for yall to take a holiday in Japan or Eastern Europe and get a proper woman. Black men dont have that privilege.

Novadina · 2023-08-29T21:11:17+00:00

They shouldn’t, unless they want to. Sometimes a man might meet someone he wants to form a partnership with to share assets and/or raise children together. If a man doesn’t find someone he wants to do that with, he obviously shouldn’t get married.

Women initiate 80% of divorces, and with no-fault divorce, a woman can cheat on you and still take half your stuff and get alimony.

Alimony is very rare, so the chances are very slim for that. Also she can’t take half of your stuff, she takes her half of the joint stuff, just like the man does. Why do you assume everything is the man’s?? When he married her he agreed everything is joint, and it goes for anything she makes too, if he has something he doesn’t want to share he needs a prenup, or he can not marry if he doesn’t want to merge anything.

Do you mean women “file” for divorce more often? That is not the same as “initiate” at all. If a man says “we should get a divorce” and the woman agrees and so files for divorce, that would be in your stat of women filing for divorce, even though the man initiated it. If the man moves out to live with his girlfriend so the woman filed for divorce, that would be in your stat, even though I would say moving out is initiating a divorce. So I don’t think this statistic is useful for anything at all…?

Women receive the vast majority of alimony and child support, which can financially ruin a man. Those laws also massively favor women.

Only a small fraction of divorces have alimony, so if you care about stats so much you can pretty much not even worry about that. And children get child support, not women, and it has nothing to do with marriage - if a man creates children and then leaves their care to the mother, he will have to pay child support, whether he is married or not. It is based on income, so it doesn’t cause financial ruin. If the man is the primary care taker during the relationship he would have a higher chance of having primary custody, than he won’t have to pay child support (although the cost of being the primary custody parent is typically more than child support). He can choose to get a vasectomy and not have any children if he doesn’t like the idea of financially supporting children.

Prenups can be easily thrown out as a woman can just say she was under duress and the prenup gets thrown out.

What kind of duress? Get them signed with witnesses where it’s clear there is no duress. The majority of men don’t have any assets to protect anyway when getting married. So if you are a rich dude worried about this, then maybe it’s best not to marry. But for 90% of men a prenup probably isn’t necessary.

Generally, a woman will benefit more financially from a marriage, while a man will get worse financially in a marriage, as women tend to date up, not down, with only rare exceptions.

You are free to have whatever criteria you want for marriage. You can choose to only marry a woman if you find someone who earns the same as you. No one is forcing men to “marry down”.

These are the main ones off the top of my head, but what even are positives for men to get married?

Most benefits to marriage depend highly on who you marry, there aren’t really magical benefits granted to anyone just for marrying. A common one though is most Americans can’t afford a house on their own - but they can join up with a spouse and pool their money together to be able to do it.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-08-29T21:21:27+00:00

Marriage is for the benefit of children and family, not men. If you want to be self-serving, stay single and celibate.

John_Oakman · 2023-08-29T18:19:24+00:00

To prove to society that they are not dangerous as well as showing their ability to step up and be responsible.

After all, you don't want to be seen by society as a loose cannon, or even worse, a potential incel, right?

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-08-29T19:26:58+00:00

Dating is annoying and take a lot of time and efforts. Dating pool is only shrinking.

bluestjuice · 2023-08-29T21:38:22+00:00

There are absolutely federal tax benefits to marriage in the US. Married-filing-jointly returns have financially advantageous status compared to married-filing-separately or single returns in terms of standard deductions, earned income credits, etc. There may also be state tax benefits depending on the state.

Further there are a host of legal implications that come with the legal framework of marriage that may be desirable, such as automatic inheritance structures in many jurisdictions should one of you die, established legal paternity for any children born in wedlock, next-of-kin designations that pertain to who has access to you in hospital if you are unconscious or otherwise incapacitated, who makes your medical decisions if you aren’t capable, and who is empowered to make decisions about your remains after you die.

Additionally:

Alimony is uncommon these days and divorce divides the marital assets, not the husband’s personal assets. This is not the boogeyman it’s made out to be unless one is expecting to marry a partner with no or few assets and/or earning potential, or unless one is exceptionally wealthy or high-earning in their own right.
Children receive child support. Alimony is uncommon as previously mentioned.
Prenups are not ironclad but they’re not worthless either. Obviously IANAL and certainly NYL, so talk to one if you’re really worried about it, but also refer to point 1 above about it mostly mattering to people who already own a significant amount of property or who have a very high earning potential.
This generality is less of an argument against marriage and more of an argument against marrying into a significantly lopsided relationship, financially.

In conclusion, only people who want to be married should get married, and there are drastically fewer social ramifications from opting out than at most other times in history. But there are some benefits which I’ve attempted to enumerate.

obviousredflag · 2023-08-30T09:04:49+00:00

To address your cons:

Divorce is really just a breakup. You can define the marriage contract to your liking. Marriage is not a tool to avoid breakups. If you are looking for a way to bind a woman to you and force her to be loyal, i'd look into Islam and an islamist society to move to. If you have an issue with dividing up assets and a fair financial regulation, i do not recommend having children with a woman in any kind of relationship, and i do not recommend living together with a woman. Break ups are inevitable part of relationships and you will get to a point where you need to find arrangedments for assets and finances, regardless of if you are married or just living together in relationship.
Marry a woman who earns more than you and be a stay at home dad or just husband. Marry a woman who earns the same, have no kids and just enjoy a double income. Have children with a woman, and split work/finances evenly. It's your choice of woman and marriage that determines those factors.
Prenups cannot be easily thrown out on the basis of claiming to be under duress: " However, proving duress can be challenging. Courts often require substantial evidence to support the claim, such as documented threats or clear instances of coercion. It's not enough for one party to simply claim they were under duress; they typically need to show that their consent was significantly impaired due to the circumstances. "
Who benefits more from marriage depends on the marriage contract and on who does what during the marriage. It's your choice. Saying "generally this or that" is really irrelevant. Marry a woman who is equally financially situated and will continue to be so. Women in their 20s are already on average outearning men. Hypergamy is decreasing. Women start to date down because there is no other way.

What are the positives?

In today's American society, there are certain advantages to marriage that might not be fully replicated by simply being in a committed romantic relationship with a woman. While every individual's circumstances and preferences are unique, here are some potential pros that marriage can offer beyond a committed romantic relationship:

Legal Protections: Marriage often provides legal protections that are not automatically granted to unmarried couples. These can include inheritance rights, medical decision-making authority, and certain tax benefits [1].
Social Recognition: Marriage is a socially recognized institution, and being married can confer a sense of legitimacy and validation to a relationship that might not be as strongly present in an unmarried partnership.
Family Planning: For couples considering having children, marriage can offer a more stable and legally secure environment for raising a family, including protections for parental rights and responsibilities.
Shared Finances and Responsibilities: While committed couples can certainly share financial responsibilities, marriage often encourages a greater degree of financial integration, which can aid in long-term financial planning and joint ownership of assets.
Healthcare Benefits: Many employers offer healthcare coverage to spouses of employees, which can provide additional health insurance options for both partners.
Immigration and Residency: Marriage to a U.S. citizen can provide a pathway to legal residency or citizenship for foreign-born partners, which might not be as accessible through a committed romantic relationship alone.
Social Support Networks: Marriage can facilitate integration into extended family networks and social circles, potentially providing a broader support system.
Long-Term Planning: Marriage can encourage couples to engage in more comprehensive long-term planning, such as estate planning and retirement preparation.
Religious or Cultural Considerations: For individuals with strong religious or cultural beliefs, marriage might align better with their values and provide a more meaningful commitment.

It's important to emphasize that these advantages are not absolute, and many can be achieved through careful legal documentation, open communication, and mutual understanding in committed relationships. Additionally, the decision to marry is deeply personal and should be based on individual values, preferences, and circumstances.

Sources:

"Marriage vs. Common Law Marriage: What's the Difference?" LegalZoom. [https://www.legalzoom.com/articles/marriage-vs-common-law-marriage-whats-the-difference]

CoffinEluder · 2023-08-29T18:21:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-29T18:37:18+00:00

Because divorce laws are the way they are to protect those who lose out on money to have children or for household labour or whatever, if you want that it's hard to get someone to do it when they risk to lose everything and if you don't then that isn't half "your" stuff in the first place, but joint stuff. Men gain financially from marriage while women lose, this trend is even seen after divorce. People also, you know, fall in love and marriage is needed to become family legally and socially.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-08-30T01:10:46+00:00

"please convince me to get married, I don't want to be alone my entire life but I'm too scared. It can't be as horrible as they say, can it?"

nectarinepiss · 2023-08-30T01:48:35+00:00

love ???

literaryhogwartian · 2023-08-29T20:10:05+00:00

It's not your stuff, it's shared stuff.
Have 50% custody. Marry a woman with her own career 3.Marry someone you can build a life WITH 4.Both benefit from marriage.

Divorce rates for first marriages are not high.

Married men are happier and live longer. There is nothing better than a happy marriage with someone you love.

lostnumber08 · 2023-08-29T20:23:22+00:00

A worthy man will attract a worthy woman and you can have a family. If you are a good man, having a family will make you happy.

relish5k · 2023-08-29T20:51:55+00:00

Most marriages do not end in divorce. Especially if you and your spouse are college educated, you are more likely than not to not get divorced.

Alimony is only a concern in a fraction of marriages, and is easy to avoid as long as you have an egalitarian marriage with two working spouses.

Married men are happier, healthier and wealthier than…just about anyone. I’ve heard a lot of people argue that they are married because they happier, healthier and wealthier - and this is probably true to an extent. But its more likely that it’s a positive feedback loop. If the most successful people in society all do a thing, then there’s a good chance that thing is more or a help than a hindrance.

And lastly, who wouldn’t want to have a sleepover with your best friend every night that includes orgasms, people, and being the leaders of a tiny adorable cult?

sublimemongrel · 2023-08-29T21:10:11+00:00

There is so much wrong here it’s hard for me to pick which of your points to first tackle.

So without getting into the inaccuracies that you base your post on, the short answer is: because they want to get married. Those that don’t, shouldn’t feel like they have to either.

1Here4Bach · 2023-08-29T21:24:22+00:00

You all ask this question every day.

Safinated · 2023-08-29T21:03:34+00:00

Because they want to, and no other reason

Marriage should be completely voluntary

BlueBuff1968 · 2023-08-29T21:54:02+00:00

Women initiate divorces for a reason and it's usually because the husband is doing something wrong. Either cheating with a younger woman or just being lazy in the relationship.

Studies have shown again and again that married men are happier and live much longer.

Men who never married have much higher rates of alcoholism, drug abuse, suicide, depression, obesity, cancer, heart disease ...

Sharing all the good moments in life with a partner makes them even more precious. Experiencing the bad moments together makes them more bearable.

Rogue5454 · 2023-08-30T00:49:37+00:00

Do you think there’s benefits for women to get married?

Greenroses23 · 2023-08-30T02:37:37+00:00

Women initiate 80% of divorces.

What does this prove exactly? Initiating divorce doesn’t mean they’re the ones who caused the marriage to fail in the first place.

This doesn’t prove that women divorce for no reason or trivial reasons. However, this does provide insight as to why men aren’t the ones initiating divorce the majority of the time.

If a man genuinely believes he’s going to lose his house, his money, and custody of his kids why would he initiate divorce?

If a man is getting some of the benefits of a traditional marriage, why would he initiate the divorce?

keepinitrealzs · 2023-08-30T03:26:01+00:00

Because a good wife makes your life better in almost every way.

Admiral_Gen-Aladeen · 2023-08-30T07:20:55+00:00

Marriage isn’t always a transaction, you are probably young, watched too much conservative media that villainess women in Marriage and have no proper world experience.

When you do mature, and I hope you do, then you’ll find out why people actually get married.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-08-30T01:11:04+00:00

Women initiate 80% of divorces, and with no-fault divorce, a woman can cheat on you and still take half your stuff and get alimony.

Correct, infidelity is not a crime. Also 50/50 is only in community property states (the vast majority of states use "equitable distribution" which is NOT 50/50), and infidelity can absolutely impact alimony, which only occurs in a small fraction of divorces.

Women receive the vast majority of alimony and child support, which can financially ruin a man. Those laws also massively favor women.

Wrong and also a lie. Alimony is only awarded in a small percentage of cases. As for child support, that's for the child. It's right there in the name. Claiming these laws "massively favor women" is unsubstantiated bullshit.

Prenups can be easily thrown out as a woman can just say she was under duress and the prenup gets thrown out.

Again, a lie. A prenup does not get thrown out just because a woman says she was under duress.

Generally, a woman will benefit more financially from a marriage, while a man will get worse financially in a marriage, as women tend to date up, not down, with only rare exceptions.

Yet another lie. Women are far more likely to go bankrupt following a divorce as compared to men.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2023-08-30T01:20:51+00:00

Well we know who watches FnF

MxMaster9907 · 2023-08-30T04:54:58+00:00

Mofos say stuff like this as if there was a gun pointing to their heads forcing them to marry. Don’t marry then bro, literally nobody cares.

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Thenutritionguru · 2023-08-29T18:11:06+00:00

i'll by try addressing the points you brought up, then we can look at some possible benefits. 1. yeah, u're right that women do initiate most divorces. but remember, this statistically doesn't mean every marriage is headed that way. each relationship is different, mate. 2. this one's tricky. spousal and child support can be a burden. but in some cases, it's also about providing for kids, even after separation. 3. prenups can be contested, no denying that. though, they're less likely to be overruled if both parties have legal counsel during the signing. 4. financial benefits in marriage can really swing either way. depends on individual circumstances, career aspirations, and personal drive. now, what's in it for men? a couple of things come to mind. a) shared financial responsibilities, not just in terms of bills but also savings, investments etc. b) studies show that married men enjoy better physical and mental health over the long run. c) opportunity to grow as a person. sometimes, a commitment brings with it a chance to learn about trust, compromise and heartfelt partnership. d) building a family, if that's what you're into. in the end, the choice is yours mate. weigh up the pros and cons, and do what feels right for you.

TelevisionGloomy5458 · 2023-08-29T18:36:42+00:00

Marriage is not a good deal for women either. I recommend no one ever get married. Just don’t

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-08-29T19:14:25+00:00

Only do it if you want children, statistically children perform better in life when parents are married.

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2023-08-29T20:06:30+00:00

Children. Only reason.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-08-29T21:17:28+00:00

They shouldn’t. But marriage in this day and age is not a logical decision. In the past it was more or less a necessity if you wanted to cohabitate with your partner and start a family. Nowadays the taboo of starting a family without being married is all but gone-at least in the west. There are still a few practical benefits to marriage but the likelihood of divorce and it’s resulting fall out massively outweighs the benefits. You simply don’t need to be married to have a committed relationship or even to start a family in this day and age.

Guys only get married in this day and age because that they want to please their girlfriends…who generally speaking don’t want an actual marriage but sure as hell want a wedding.

No_Side3261 · 2023-08-29T21:46:44+00:00

I think marriage tries to provide children with a tangible concept of connection, unconditional love, and tries to stand for a good and supportive family system. It doesn’t always work, but I think men are equally interested in providing that environment for their children as women are and both enter into the institution knowing the risks but aiming for something more than partnership.

I’m not a man, but I’m guessing a man who’s perception of marriage is staked on the legal ways it could threaten them probably won’t enjoy those emotional benefits if the threat of legal risk is greater than the personal satisfaction.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-08-29T22:03:09+00:00

I don't think women or men should get married.

vivienneebackwood · 2023-08-29T22:14:35+00:00

then don’t

yamb97 · 2023-08-29T22:18:46+00:00

Personally, the first time I got married was for the tax reduction, to get our parents income off our FAFSA, and so we could put each other on our work insurances.

Monked800 · 2023-08-29T22:29:40+00:00

They shouldn't

TonytheNetworker · 2023-08-29T22:46:07+00:00

Why not get married? From my observation men strongly hate being single and even bitter about it. Most guys do want a women to be with, to love, and to share memories with. Yes, you can do this in a long term relationship but most guys aren’t thinking of “what if she divorces me?” You marry with the intention of staying together and growing a family.

hostility_kitty · 2023-08-29T22:55:38+00:00

Alimony? I make more money than my husband 🤣 I’m the one who would have to pay him!

sine120 · 2023-08-29T22:57:09+00:00

Good women will want to get married. A good marriage will have relatively equal partners, and most divorces are initiated by boomers who are on their 4th marriage.

If she's a catch, she can easily get that commitment. Why not have it be from me?

HamzaAghaEfukt · 2023-08-29T23:07:27+00:00

Marriage and even long term relationships are for low value conventionally unattractive men now.

Women are far too content being personal concubines of hot men so there’s absolutely no incentive for them to get into commitment let alone marry.

kai77kai77 · 2023-08-29T23:25:24+00:00

In a civilised country, the same. In Spain, unless you say the opposite whatever was yourewill remain to be yours after a divorce. A divorce cost like 500eur, it's done in a month. Narriagwbis good if you have children, for medical purposes and for inheritance purposes.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-30T00:20:14+00:00

If they want to, that’s the only reason. If that’s not something you want, then you shouldn’t. The main reason I see to marry is if you want kids. Your lives are going to be entwined for 18+ years regardless, might as well have those legal benefits.

thechopps · 2023-08-30T00:44:47+00:00

I mean raising a family? I mean I get that’s there is a large financial risk but you know what they say…

A man can not live his life in fear.

Side not I always wonder why lesbians never have this concern?

MistyMaisel · 2023-08-30T01:00:44+00:00

Be pretty cool if ya did.

BratzbutIamnotabrat · 2023-08-30T01:08:48+00:00

I literally think pple should not get married and stop having kids. With the gender war/hate, inequality and global warming, we should collectively decide to go extinct

Radiant_Reply5612 · 2023-08-30T01:54:13+00:00

Well, because people don’t get married and plan on divorcing for one.

You only mentioned things that can happen during a separation.

Plus men do benefit from mariage in many ways, they just don’t benefit if it ends.

Married men live longer; are better perceived and can grow more in their careers simply for being married. Single men aren’t a very happy group of people either, this sub and reddit in general are proof of this. I’m guessing that is also why men are more likely to remarry - even if divorces don’t benefit them most of the time.

Cat_Lover259 · 2023-08-30T03:50:35+00:00

Not all women do this. Men love to say “not all men” and that’s acceptable, but then go and generalize all women as doing this kind of stuff. Really?

IAbstainFromSociety · 2023-08-30T03:55:41+00:00

I'm a marriage abolitionist. I think absolutely no one should ever marry and the legal concept of marriage should be removed entirely.

itm4l2000 · 2023-08-30T07:08:01+00:00

Advanced economies have gotten so expensive its not worth it any more, it's probably better to live in a rural or tribe setting with multiple children.

Having children in advanced economies is for mugs. The cost of living ensures families don't really have a chance to prosper.

Brennelement · 2023-08-30T07:35:49+00:00

There are a few benefits that might be favorable such as taxes, simplified power of attorney in a medical emergency, and a simpler inheritance situation. There’s also an improved social standing that could impact how you are seen and treated by people in general, although this is quickly going away. And finally, many businesses make it very easy to access your significant other’s account which can be convenient for dealing with bills, hotels, etc.

That said, almost all of these can be achieved by legal planning (e.g. a trust/will) without legally getting married. This seems like the best option for having a marriage-like relationship without the massive financial threat most husbands are subject to.

One caveat: a couple cohabitating in a way that even remotely resembles a married couple are considered legally married by a handful of US states and Canada, known as “common law marriage”. So breaking up with your live-in GF could subject you to losing half your assets, even if you didn’t know common law marriage was a thing.

HODL_monk · 2023-08-30T13:08:42+00:00

Perhaps you have not noticed, but marriage is in serious decline in the west, and even gay marriage didn't reverse that trend, and even they are getting divorces from their new marriages pretty fast, this isn't too surprising, considering how permissive the gay lifestyle is, compared to the restrictions of marriage.

razten-mizuten · 2023-08-30T13:31:30+00:00

Because they love the people they are marrying?

Peacesquad · 2023-08-30T13:55:13+00:00

Modern marriage looks so miserable. I see guys who are married and it’s so obvious they’re a human wallet and emotional soundboard and their wives(usually out of shape and aged poorly) doesn’t give him sex which is the main reason men deal with women in the first place. It just looks awful to me

MattPayneWrestler · 2023-08-30T15:37:04+00:00

If the woman is rich and dude is poor then he has good reason🤑otherwise theres no point, lol. People who get married be like “Omg, our love isn’t strong enough to hold us together, lets get a contract so there is consequences for breaking up , thus keeping us together!”

Cost of marriage license and ordained dude to say a few words: hundreds

Cost of ring: thousands

Cost of wedding: tens of thousands

Now they’re deep in debt and fighting over money and divorce.

Cost of divorce: hundreds of thousands.

And literally all they have actually done is move in together.

Meanwhile here I am who moved in with my girlfriend and achieved the same thing, minus flushing the thousands of dollars down the drain.

Mr-Yuk · 2023-08-30T15:49:38+00:00

Yeah it's totally not worth the risk... marriage is a scam

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-08-31T00:24:03+00:00

People forget that the purpose of marriage wasn’t to marry for love it was a contract. That contract was then molded and decorated so that women would go to it happily. Getting married was a freedom for them. You got to run your own house, make some of your own rules: if your husband was away working you wouldn’t really have to deal with him.

Marriage was never, nor has it ever been about love. It’s social contract designed for when half the population was not allowed to take care of themselves.

Nowadays, if you get married you have to make sure it’s with someone you actually care about who cares about you. If you’re going into it for kids, make sure it’s a person you can look at for the rest of your lives because a child is a lifelong commitment. Make sure they are a good parent.

CinemaPunditry · 2023-08-31T01:07:15+00:00

Why should women have your children? Why should women even fuck you?

AcrobaticRhubarb2147 · 2023-08-31T05:08:58+00:00

No one should get married or have kids. 50/50 is a scam for women. Men eat more groceries and do less chores and child care, women should forego motherhood and marriage or if they really want a child, go to a sperm bank. Most men are useless and will mooch off of women. Women are better off getting a doctorate or an advanced degree and hiring a nanny to help with sperm bank kids. A husband is just another child, one that won’t grow up, do chores, and has zero intention of pulling his own weight

Rottingcarcasses · 2023-09-01T13:05:57+00:00

If I’m dating you for four years and you don’t ask me to marry you, if you acquire a gambling addiction you didn’t used to have, start doing cocaine you didn’t used to do, or get in a bad accident and need round the clock care, I’m leaving.

If you asked me to marry you I will spend decades helping you cope with your gambling addiction, helping you get the rehab you need for your cocaine problem, and I will literally jelly up your nub and attach your prosthesis myself!

Title	Why Should Men Get Married?
Author	Bassist57
Upvotes	65
Comments	322
Date	August 29, 2023 6:05 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/164pm9d/why_should_men_get_married/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-should-men-get-married.1230645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230645

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