Men Can't Be Blamed for Age Gap Relationships Because Women Are the Sexual Selectors and Choosing to Be in Those Relationships

Icyfemboy · 2025-06-21T02:18:03+00:00

25-21 is not an age gap relationship my brudda

SeaworthinessSea2407 · 2025-06-21T03:52:54+00:00

Nobody thinks 25-21 is an age gap. 30 and 18 would be though

KayRay1994 · 2025-06-21T02:47:30+00:00

I assure you, nobody cares about a 25 year old dating a 21 year old outside of a few, very radical voices.

That being said - what the fuck is this? “I technically don’t have any accountability, she’s the one who chose” like tell me you’re trying to mental gymnastics your way out of the consent without telling me you’re trying to mental gymnastics your way out of the consent. Like at this point I don’t even care about your core age gap statement because your reasoning is horrible

Like I’m more open to age gaps with younger partners assuming you’re not actively targeting younger people but ffs you’re older, you’re expected to be wise and make the responsible decision. “She chose me I have no choice” is some serious manipulator type shit

Demasii · 2025-06-21T02:40:51+00:00

Does this argument work on people who chose to be in a physically abusive relationship? They chose it hence no one is allowed to tell them that their decision maybe a poor one?

tahmkenchisbroken · 2025-06-21T02:19:13+00:00

The "brain isn't fully developed until 25" is a myth btw

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2025-06-21T06:32:49+00:00

21 and 25 isn't an age gap lol
Most older women can say goodbye to dating for the rest of their lives cause men don't want them

It's a known fact that men are attracted to youth, even when they themselves might not be that young. I'd say the thing is not "men are predatory" and more "men wouldn't look twice at an older woman so they take the women that are left" lol

Business-Stretch2208 · 2025-06-21T02:35:03+00:00

People can also choose to buy drugs. Selling them drug still puts you at fault because they would not be doing drugs if you weren't giving them over.

Let's not forget that men's hands are tied and they are incapable of making the moral choice of rejecting a younger woman

Solondthewookiee · 2025-06-21T02:52:55+00:00

Your argument is men are completely blameless for their actions in a relationship because women are the "selectors?"

Do women do this at gunpoint?

Tweezers666 · 2025-06-21T02:30:55+00:00

Younger people make stupid decisions. It’s up to the more mature person to make the more mature decision.

ThatBitchA · 2025-06-21T02:19:17+00:00

25 and 21 isn't really an age gap.....

35 and 21? Definitely an age gap. And definitely blaming the grown man.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-06-21T02:40:20+00:00

i think you truly overestimate how much people react let alone care about the relationships of random people

Practical-Film-8573 · 2025-06-21T09:11:02+00:00

elvis eloped with Priscilla when she was late teens he was late 20s. i cant remeber the ages.

Weak_Vacation2111 · 2025-06-22T12:29:25+00:00

Age gaps matter when the young person is barely an adult and inexperienced at being an adult.

Icy_Cauliflower6482 · 2025-06-21T03:39:12+00:00

We could discuss all the women in arranged marriages often with older men who absolutely do not choose their partners.

Desperate_Coat_5244 · 2025-06-21T12:40:35+00:00

This avoiding accountability is such tired bullshit. Everyone chooses who they are with. Even “average men”, whatever tf that even means.

cutegolpnik · 2025-06-21T03:24:42+00:00

So what if a child chose you?

Can’t be blamed?

Direct_Onion_8917 · 2025-06-26T17:05:18+00:00

Because men are blamed for everything no matter what. Women are just helpless victims who can never be held accountable for anything ever because the patriarchy was mean

greedyleopard42 · 2025-06-21T04:25:44+00:00

Contrary to popular belief, men choose too. just because a lot of men would choose more people doesn’t mean they’re not choosing. i’m not saying this is the same severity AT all, but what if the only females who choose an adult man are twelve years old? is it still not his fault? you’re acting as if men have no agency and women just take them.

Knight-Bishop · 2025-06-21T04:15:02+00:00

I’m 38 YO. A year ago, a 19 YO wouldn’t give up chasing me.

In a year? I’ll be hitting her up….once I know she isn’t anywhere near her parents anymore.

If a woman is old enough to LEGALLY own a Glock & take me out, she’s old enough to date.

It’s all about leverage; women’s only goal is try to maintain leverage over men as long as possible with their sexuality.

Once a woman loses the power of her sexuality, she’s done for.

This is real reason why women hate age gap relationships. It reminds them how their clock 🕰️ is ticking before the Wall arrives.

AIter_Real1ty · 2025-06-21T02:43:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

BrightAutumn12 · 2025-06-21T08:44:24+00:00

There is certainly power dynamics between a older and younger partner but we can't forget that the 18 year old is still an adult. She has to pay her taxes, abide by law and many other things including sex work.

Infantilizing women who choose old men would not help the woman who cry about age gaps all the time which may stem from insecurity od securing a rich guy. The problem is women are hypergamous.

Whether it's your next door feminist or a conservative, it's a phenomenon common in every women. While young guys have to compete with old guys and guys of their own age to get a date, it becomes simple they're not just a victim as feminists portray them.

None wants to build life together but want a guy in his 20s to have everything that their dad achieved in his 50s also economy was way better before.

So we've bunch of women telling young women to don't go for broke dudes also retroactively whining about why they don't choose broke men.

Appropriate-Mango385 · 2025-06-21T02:32:32+00:00

I love this sub because everyday there's a man here trying to avoid accountability for men. Accountability really is a man's kryptonite as they say.

Disagree, by the way. Both can be blamed. You can do whatever you want still, and people are free to judge.

AutoModerator · 2025-06-21T02:15:03+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ShameAffectionate15 · 2025-06-21T17:55:45+00:00

Yes you are 10000% correct. Women will evenly openly say they like older men. Yet society esp a certain political group blames men but never women.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-06-21T20:10:09+00:00

25M dating a 21F. How do people react to this type of relationship?

Most people do not care enough to muster a reaction. I think the idea that age gap relationships are badly stigmatized is overhyped. It exists only as the result of selection bias.

Imagine there are three possible responses to age gaps: (1) You think it's good; (2) You don't care either way; (3) You think it's bad. Of those three, which reaction is most likely to get to you actually verbalize your opinion? The answer should be obvious.

That's why the discourse around age gaps is so negative: the people most motivated to participate are the ones with the biggest objections.

Outside-Travel-7903 · 2025-06-22T03:47:17+00:00

/u/Business-Stretch2208 blocked me because they can't handle a debate.

Delicious_Algae_8283 · 2025-06-22T04:25:45+00:00

Every age gap relationship is a woman picking an older man over anyone her age, just as much is the case with the man. The issue is that men valuing youth has been determined to be disgusting, while women valuing older men for... Well we're not even supposed to be focusing on that part of the equation, focus on man bad!

DiCaprio dating under 25 is not pedophilic. These are grown ass women that can get into a lifetime of debt, vote, join the military, buy guns, cigarettes, get married, and drink alcohol, anything you can imagine. But suddenly when they choose to date someone older, they become infantile and incapable of making decisions for themselves. That's Schrödinger's feminism for ya.

All that said, your relationship isn't conventionally an "age gap" relationship, and you're being weird about it

SteveSan82 · 2025-06-27T04:45:41+00:00

If I want kids, why would I waste my time with an older woman? It actually got easier to date younger women as I got older

Antique_Mountain_263 · 2025-06-21T13:39:06+00:00

25 and 21 is not an age gap. It doesn’t start getting creepy until they’re more than 15 years apart. Anything 30+ years apart is just weird.

Electrical-Rule-9863 · 2025-06-22T11:12:03+00:00

first of all, no one thinks 25 and 21 is a age gap relationship and secondly you are insinuating that men don't have a choice in choosing a.k.a. rape even if you are correct your examples and a point to prove it is incorrect

wtknight · 2025-06-21T02:26:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AIter_Real1ty · 2025-06-21T02:34:34+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-06-21T14:43:49+00:00

The mental gymnastics some men go through to get away with accountability is astounding. You.always.have.a.choice.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-06-21T07:56:47+00:00

Man, no one’s mad about a 25 year old dating a 21 year old. You’re using the safest example possible to distract from the real issue, grown men in their 30s+ going after teenagers and calling it “mutual.”

If women are the selectors, why are so many men sliding into the DMs of girls who literally just turned 18? Why are they seeking out the least experienced women while avoiding their peers?

Some of you love preaching accountability to women, but bend over backwards to avoid it yourselves.

If your argument for age gap relationships only works when you cherry pick the least problematic example and ignore the massive power dynamics in the rest, maybe it’s not as solid as you think.

AutoModerator · 2025-06-21T02:15:03+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

holmesksp1 · 2025-06-21T02:27:42+00:00

I see what you're getting at, and I generally mostly agree. I think this opinion will catch a lot of flack because it seems to be making the behavior of the old man not matter. Which is not the point you're making necessarily. The point is that it is consensual from both parties.

Most people would view such an age Gap as unusual, but there are plenty of people who would view many relationship dynamics as unusual, And generally the judging would be placed on both parties. Where here it's being placed solely on the man.

bjwindow2thesoul · 2025-06-21T05:58:13+00:00

That example is not a good example. I had a almost 3.5 year long age gap relationship that when we started I was 18 and he was 23. I didnt have the confidence to speak up about myself. Now, 3 years after the breakup, i still have a lot of his personality traits. I dont think he meant to groom me, but because he was older I assumed he was right in every way

voxpopuliberty · 2025-06-21T06:54:30+00:00

Exploit 18 year olds that's sexual liberation

MidoriEgg · 2025-06-21T08:03:36+00:00

Do people consider 21 and 25 an ‘age gap relationship’ ??

The issues with discussions on age-gap relationships is people use the phrase to mean anything from 2 people at opposite ends of their twenties to 18 yr olds and 40 yr olds.

Those types of age gaps aren’t comparable. I find it odd how many people are Pro any type of age gap or even anti any type of age gap without any nuance.

alreadydark · 2025-06-21T09:01:14+00:00

I think you need to go outside cause people don't say that about a 21 and 25 year old. Try 21 and 40 though

analt223 · 2025-06-21T10:20:41+00:00

25 dating 21 is a "gap" lol.

modidlee · 2025-06-21T10:26:27+00:00

Age gap relationships are only a topic because people infantilize late teens-early twenties people. They can do everything including drinking & going to war for their country, but choosing who they want to be with is too much lmao

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-06-21T10:56:35+00:00

I've never been in an age gap relationship and never will be but one of my buddies was in a relationship that lasted a couple months where he was 21 and the girl was 16. They met through the girl's sister the guy was friends with. The 16 year old was the dominant party in their relationship, she was verbally abusive, compared him to other men in relationships, demanded princess treatment basically every day and overall was a really shitty person to be with. After they broke up the guy decided never to date teenagers again, not becouse it's predatory but becouse he doesn't want to be with someone who is this emotionally immature.

And yeah, they fucked. It's legal here and it was the girl who coerced him into it. Do with that information what you will.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-06-21T11:34:13+00:00

Dude, the whole point is that the sexual selectors are easily manipulated because there is a power imbalance.

Axis_Control · 2025-06-21T13:24:09+00:00

25 and 18 is not an age gap relationship.

30 and 18 would be.

When I was 21 and on online dating I actually found the younger men to be worse, they only wanted sex and to fuck around and rarely had jobs.

So if I was 18 I'd sooner date up to 30 rather than date another 18 year old.

Fickle_Friendship296 · 2025-06-21T14:16:15+00:00

Men and women choose relationships, man. This sounds like some young guy talk here.

This is the same mentality where men believe women hold power over them when it comes to dating and sex. It’s not true. If you’re a guy—if you’re a person in general, who knows their worth, no one would have that sort of power over you.

I’m 30, and I’ve turned down a few women before, women that were conventionally attractive too, we just weren’t compatible on a social and emotional level. Women who wanted me, but I just wasn’t feeling them.

I’ve also been rejected a lot too in the same way. Since I’ve been on both ends of the spectrum, I understood rejection a lot better and it truly does not bother me, nor do I fear it in anyway way.

But when it comes to age gaps, that stuff largely stops mattering especially when both parties are legit adults. Like my cousin is dating a woman who is younger than me; she’s 28 and he’s in his mid 40s. They’re nearly 20 years apart. That’s not an issue.

Now age gaps do become an issue if someone is like 19 and the guy is in his 30s. She can’t even enter most clubs at that age, let alone drink. That guy could easily choose to date women within his own age and he’ll be fine. Least that’s how I see it.

Personally I have no intentions in dating anyone under the age of 25. That’s my personal boundary. When I was 25 I did date a girl who was 19 going on 20 and she was still very much still a kid in the head lol. We had very little in common outside of a brief fwb, but that was about it. No real relationship came out of that.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-21T15:55:57+00:00

It takes two to tango, so yes. Women aren’t the only ones in the relationship

Kreeps_United · 2025-06-21T17:39:17+00:00

Scenario #1: 25M dating a 21F. How do people react to this type of relationship?

They don't. Do you really think age gaps are just when the man is older?

OpenupmyeagerEyes0 · 2025-06-22T01:06:48+00:00

literally no one sees a problem with 21 and 25 bro what are you talking about

qwertyuduyu321 · 2025-06-21T02:24:41+00:00

Women are the sexual selectors. As the pickier sex, they get to choose who they date and have sex with so they have more power and freedom in the dating market. Most (average) men take what they can get in terms of sex and relationships.
If this is the case, then why are men always blamed for age gap relationships when the women in them are choosing to be with those men?

Because people are bad at making use of their brains, applying logic instead of emotions to problems.

Title	Men Can't Be Blamed for Age Gap Relationships Because Women Are the Sexual Selectors and Choosing to Be in Those Relationships
Author	MaxDureza
Upvotes	123
Comments	492
Date	June 21, 2025 2:15 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lgljkv/men_cant_be_blamed_for_age_gap_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-cant-be-blamed-for-age-gap-relationships.1555152 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555152

Comments