Weekly Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-04-05T20:00:16+00:00

This weekly thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc......

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[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you just want sex you can go to a sex worker.

Yeah, doesn't work that way. Most guys would rather have sex with who they want to have sex with, which may or may not be a sex worker. Plus, a lot of them are not usually the desirable types. Always seems to be a bit of trashyness to them.

It’s about more — being chosen, wanted and validated by women

No, that's just part of the process of getting in there. Of course, men want enthusiastic sex from women who want it too, hence why men hate starfish sex, but it is just part of the process and a requirement for "good sex."

they want an emotional connection but are mistakenly seeking CS as the route to getting there (which couldn’t be more wrong)

This is projection. Some men might use sex as a cope for feeling wanted, but those men often go through sex workers to do that because they can't get it from other women. The men that are out having casual sex with women are just playing the game and going through the motions to get what they want. In my experience, it has often been women using casual sex like a form of drugs to make themselves feel better.

they want an emotional connection but feel more comfortable expressing it as a desire for CS.

Still no.

[–]poppy_blu3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You’re so busy arguing with me you don’t even see you contradicting yourself.

Well point it out. Easy to say I'm contradicting myself than pointing out that you don't understand what I'm saying.

My argument is a lot of men here

Ah, there's the problem: "PPD is the world."

It may satisfy you sexually

Yes, and there is where your confusion lies. The above is all that some men are looking for. They don't need both together. There are times when I want sex and times when I want sex with someone that I have feelings for. They're not always wanted at the same time. Personally, I would prefer the latter over the former, which results in me having a lot less sex than I might want, and way less than other guys are having, but other guys aren't going to compromise between having sex and not having sex so they get sex when they want it and have relationship sex later.

[–]poppy_blu1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

this is really not complicated.

Apparently it is.

A lot of men here (a lot does not mean all) talk about CS a lot and the way they talk about it leads me to believe want they really want is an emotional connection.

The men "here" are not representative of the population of men outside of "here." I'm speaking generally since you never really specified that you were only referring to the men in here, which is why your take does not apply in the general sense - mostly to the men in here who probably don't get to have sex very often at all, and who are probably lacking in the "attracting the opposite sex" department as well. So to those men would only be where your take applies and nowhere else.

I think they’re putting too much expectation on CS solving issues that it won’t necessarily solve for.

That may be the case, but they may also just want to engage in a part of life that other guys get to engage in while they are not. Getting another person to take interest in you seems to be the hardest part, and once that gap is bridged, the other problems might not be that much to deal with, but for them, they can't even get past that hurdle because nobody probably cares if they do or not.

Yes you can want both but that’s not the point I’m making.

The point you were making was that men (just "men") don't really want casual sex, but just want to be desired and validated by women, because if they just wanted sex, they could go see a sex worker.

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I want sex, more precisely, efficient acquisition sexual satisfaction. Not casual sex per see, casual sex is just how some consider the best way to achieve efficient acquisition sexual satisfaction if they can. But the point is efficient acquisition sexual satisfaction, nothing more, nothing less.

If I wantd to feel valued or loved. I would care if she was bought with money or not. Or if she was a bitch/feminist or not. Or if it was from a relationship or not. But I, and most men, don't care, we at best care about her n count because our bodies force us to care (against our own will, we would love to have sexual satisfaction with those, but we cant.).

Yes, to feel valued and loved can be a cherry on top. It can improve an already very pleasurable experience. But I doubt many would eat a cake just for the cherry. So much so, that many, as I do, could eat without the cherry (feel valued or loved) just fine.

And so are most men, I know beta buxes know they are buying the sexual services of women. But betas know it too, they just don't want to admit it. That is why they focused on this wealth side of their lives at the demerit of others. Nor have any qualms when the goods and services are provided for in the form of sexual/childbearing services.

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being curvy

Thanks for proving my point. Since when is “curvy” a health problem?

I was a competitive gymnast most of my childhood. At one point I was 94 pounds with a BMI of 17. I wasn’t even menstruating. There were still coaches and other gymnasts calling me fat because despite being underweight I had a body typical of black girls — developing breasts and hips, muscular thighs.

Our views on body image in this country are fucked. As I said I am a public health professional and would love to see everyone a healthy weight. No 300 pounds isn’t a healthy weight but that doesn’t mean a 6 foot 80 pound supermodel is what you should look like either.

That person who is 300 pounds is far more like to take steps to lose that weight if they have a sense of self worth and belief that they will feel better physically and mentally if they change their lifestyle (notice I said change their lifestyle and not lose weight).

Sure not everyone isnt going to chose to lose weight. But the bottom line is that shitting on them doesn’t work either.

[–]Slyfer_Seven2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I agree completely, the intention was definitely to fight back against unhealthy, unrealistic standards of body image, but perhaps in an effort to be more inclusive, the message got muddied and co-opted to point where it more resembles something akin to fat pride, vs knowing what's healthy for you and being happy with that.

The reaction to it from some men seems about right, they don't like it, so they're pushing back against it in a typically over dramatic fashion. You can say it's not about them (or their boners), and I agree, but telling a human being to not view things through the lens of how it affects them personally, is more unrealistic than the body standards that started this movement in the first place.

Like most things, a solution would require both sides to exhibit a level of empathy towards the other that neither is willing to commit to soooo, enjoy the decline? Or perhaps expansion would be the better term...

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[–]NiceGuyNumber41 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

People gain weight for all sorts of reasons. It could be a hormonal disorder, an injury, related to physical changes in pregnancy and childbirth, a particularly stressful period.

Eat less.

It could be because you don't have access to healthy foods or home cooked meals.

Bag of rice, beans, veggies, eggs, cheap cuts of meat. Slow cooker (bonus if it doubles as a rice cooker). That's most of my meals summed up.

It could be that you do have access but don't have time to prioritize due to a sedentary lifestyle for work and time demands at home that make exercise and cooking challenging.

Slow cooker. Can't exercise? Eat less.

All it takes is a stressful period or event and BAM you are in another weight class, and it is extremely difficult to lose the weight. It's doable, but really tough

Eat less.

None of these seem particularly relevant to any character flaw, and stating as much is just stupid, cowardly and cruel.

Gluttony. Eat less.

[–]relish5k1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Eat less = be hungry. That's how you lose weight. When people ask me how to lose weight I say "spend a lot of time being hungry. The more time you spend hungry, the more weight you will lose."

Being hungry unfortunately also makes people feel awful, it makes it incredibly difficult to get things done (like your job that you need for you're livelihood, being emotionally available to the people who depend on you.) it can be done of course but there are tradeoffs. Whether a person decides to accept those tradeoffs or not is not a reflection on their character.

Also deciding to not maintain a calorie deficit (needed for weight loss) is not gluttony. Maintaining weight, even a heavy weight, isn't gluttony. Gluttony is about purposeful indulgence and says nothing about one's access to healthy foods and ones physical ability. So that's not a proper use of the word.

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Have you ever heard of the Mediterranean diet? In the 1960s they found out that people who lived on the Mediterranean coast were much healthier and lived much longer. Turns out a diet with a lot of fresh vegetables, fish and olive oil is pretty healthy. But they also surveyed those people and asked what's the one thing they would change about their diet if they could. They all wanted more red meat. Then globalization happened and BAM. They are all obese now. Must have been character thing, probably totally unrelated to changing global supply chains.

Maybe if in the 1960s in Sardinia a healthy young person decided to gorge themselves until they became fat, sure, that would be a character flaw. But today, especially in the US, with corn subsidies to "help" farmers (lol), childhood obesity and just a shit culture around food it's not wonder people are so fat. It's become much harder to stay a healthy weight in today's world than in the past due to these external factors.

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[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I find that people googling things themselves makes the information actually stick.

Huh, this is the most pointlessly condescending thing I’ve seen in a long while and totally besides my point.

But no, I can’t just look up how much food is “wasted” by obesity specifically, because food that is actually consumed by humans is not considered waste in any tables anywhere. And whether or not you personally view eating food as wasteful doesn’t affect the actual causes of food waste or food spending waste. Obese people are not actually the driving reason the US subsidizes corn, beef, etc: that’s done to ensure national food security and fight potential inflation (nothing causes riots quite like the cost of bread soaring), and because individual lobbies have succeeded in getting pandering bills to support the heartland (esp. corn in Iowa). And additionally, the massive waste is heavily driven by the meat industry, as dramatically more land is needed to raise meat— I highly doubt you’re a dedicated virtuous vegetarian eager to reduce food waste. Plus, the US also exports a lot of that meat.

But that’s not the point I was making anyways. My point is you don’t feel disgust based on raw numbers or logic: it’s an emotional reaction. That’s why I pointed out bitcoin (an environmentally wasteful activity whose sole function is to move digital cash around). It’s funny you’re working to prove that you somehow feel disgust based on looking logically at numbers and tables, as if anyone feels disgust from looking at a spreadsheet. Seriously dude, look it up: disgust isn’t a logical reaction to numbers, it’s an emotional reaction to situations or things that are perceived as dirty or diseased.

Your reaction to fat people isn’t a rational reaction to the economy or to numerical measurements of waste. Its possible you’re embarrassed by the idea that you experience illogical emotions, but disgust really is an emotion. Your “waste” arguments are just rationalizations after the experience.

[–]NiceGuyNumber41 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]badgersonice2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Sigh. I find it incredibly hard to believe that you decided that fat people are disgusting only after reading about their economic costs.

I didn't bother looking it up because I have been aware from the start that obesity has economic costs-- but the exact same evaluations of environmental waste can be made for bitcoin, clothing, computers and phones, cars, plastics, water, travel, and nearly every other product or service consumed in the modern west. You are missing the point I was making: that disgust is an emotion, not something you decide to think based on pure numbers and rational comparison. Most people who rant about finding fat people "disgusting", but not western over-consumption in general, are emotionally reacting to how unappealing they find fat people's bodies. Because the people disgusted by waste would find waste in general disgusting outside of that one narrow case.

My point was never to defend obesity-- it was to get you to understand that *disgust* at fat people specifically is most likely an emotional reaction to their appearance, not a logical evaluation of the numerical cost of their waste.

But I guess addressing my actual point was a bit too difficult, and it's much easier to continue to rationalize your emotional reaction while also trying to shame me as "emotionally ranting". Nothing I said was an "emotional rant", but since my point has always been that you aren't correctly distinguishing between emotion and logic, I'm really not all that chuffed by your attempted emotion shaming here. You're free to continue believing incorrectly that your feelings of disgust are a form of logic you only experienced because you read a journal article calculating excess CO2 emissions due to overeating.

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My mother abuses my dad and I always encouraged him to divorce her but he won’t. She complains he doesn’t make enough money and complains he works to much, there is no winning. He is 76 and will probably work til the day he dies because he loves his work and doesn’t want to spend all day with her. When I was a young adult, he used to sleep on my couch all the time, I think now he just sleeps in his car when he needs to get away. She is crazy and abused me even worse when I lived there, and that’s why I ran away as a teenager. They have traditional gender roles and their shitty marriage is one of the reasons I always wanted an equal relationship, and why I didn’t want to get married. (Eventually I wanted the legal benefits and I was with my partner over a decade already.)

I have come to accept my dad is an adult and he is making the choice to put up with this. I had no choice as a kid, but he does, he can leave. He would have to support her, but already does, I’ve talked with him about it and that’s not the reason he doesn’t leave - he would have no issue financially supporting her. He feels he made a promise to her to stay sickness and health, and that she is severely mentally ill, and he feels obligated to stay with her.

I have told my husband that I don’t expect that kind of obligation, if I become so mentally ill I’m treating him that bad, he better just leave me, and also if he ever became that way I would leave him. I have some issues with the “for life” promises in marriage, I feel it should be conditional.

Someone being abusive is not because of their gender. I have had friends whose dads are as bad as my mother, who hounds on their mothers and beats the kids. Some people are just bad.

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my parents both work and make equal $$ (in fact my mom makes slightly more lmao), they don't really have anything to worry about except me 😃so they don't really have problems, the only things they argue about is my mom actually being an observant and non-clumsy person and my dad getting irrationally mad that she tells him to pay attention b/c he's always dropping things... and also, his health b/c my mom cares a lot but my dad doesn't really listen to her (about little things though).

they're not in some type of fairytale love, but i think i'd like to have a partnership that works, and theirs definitely does. pretty egalitarian, seem to have similar levels of "power" (in fact my dad probably has more lmao he has a temper :/ do not like, at all, and my mom just likes to cook more than him), and listen to each other, mostly.

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no it means im backing my friends and support women enjoying a variety of sex if they want to

Well, no one is actually trying to stop them. Men just tend to not want anything serious with them.

it’s just different for me personally b/c i need an emotional connection and have moral values behind my decisions so i remove myself from the narrative altogether. not idealizing it!

It really seems like you are idealizing it though . Which is why many of your assertions about them are demonstrably false. You see them as glamorous or someshit.

and what am i wrong about

You think many women are naturally polyandrous for example.

my promiscuous acquaintances and friends have no trouble finding relationships (which is why n-count threads are so strange to me).

It's not that they don't find relationships. It's the kind of relationships they find. Finding a desperate dude to latch in you or a dude that's banging other chicks left and right isn't something most women want.

[–]athrowaway2832223 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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More like the male attention and lifestyle it gives.

ahh lifestyle... for ex, would i be a sugarbaby? sure, if i could legitimately stomach it 😍wouldn't you?

other than that, men are nice to me even if i don't have sex with them, because i am nice to them. any more male attention than that is cheap and threatening, no offense, i don't see how it could be a net benefit. i'll just post on instagram if i want validation from everyone, but it isn't really helpful to my life unless they are actively helping me out and being nice to me.

The hoe phase is a compromise they aren't exactly happy with. Casual sex isn't just sex for them.

this is the part i disagree with. not to say anything about them being polyandrous, but plenty of women are fine being "plates", and "spinning" them themselves. i'm not glamorizing it, i'm just saying that plenty of women are happy with that "compromise" or arrangement. casual sex is just sex for many, i've seen women kick out male fwbs for catching feelings. it's human to catch feelings (so women do it too), and it's human to not return them as well. it's just sex.

But not with dudes THEY care about. Like I said I doubt thats something most women want.

i see promiscuous men (to you, the "desired" men) coupling with promiscuous women all the time. not my business about how the relationships go down, but it's not like if those men are cheating, that they would treat other (i.e. low n-count) women any better. some of these relationships are also healthy and committed. do you see something different irl?

[–]TheJim661 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

sure, if i could legitimately stomach it 😍wouldn't you?

Obviously no.

nstagram if i want validation from everyone, but it isn't really helpful to my life unless they are actively helping me out and being nice to me.

Well, sluts do get showered with gifts, invitations to events, parties etc.

this is the part i disagree with. not to say anything about them being polyandrous, but plenty of women are fine being "plates", and "spinning" them themselves.

Yeah, that would mean they are polyandrous. They demonstrably aren't, as I've shown you if I remember correctly, from both the dating patterns of lesbians vs gay men to how women date the more attractive they get (fewer number of partners, more relationships)

i've seen women kick out male fwbs for catching feelings. it's human to catch feelings (so women do it too), and it's human to not return them as well. it's just sex.

You think you have seen this. You are not aware of the actual dynamics of such a thing happening (if it ever actually happens like that). You think "it's just sex" but youve never been in that position to see if it is indeed like that. You are falling for the posturing basically.

not my business about how the relationships go down

It's a pretty important detail.

not like if those men are cheating, that they would treat other (i.e. low n-count) women any better.

No, those men wouldn't. But the desirable men that don't cheat would. Think of being a slut as massively increasing the chances of ending up with a man that will cheat on you.

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Obviously no.

i don't believe it 🤨

Well, sluts do get showered with gifts, invitations to events, parties etc.

if you're a female human being you get the former two. gifts are irrelevant and sluts don't get showered with them much more than the next average woman with a boyfriend/husband

Yeah, that would mean they are polyandrous.

not necessarily, i do know women who are fucking several men at once but it could also mean serial monogamy, going from fwb to fwb.

You think "it's just sex" but youve never been in that position to see if it is indeed like that. You are falling for the posturing basically.

or maybe it's just you who thinks he knows how all women behave and work.

It's a pretty important detail.

every relationship is different. tons of times the people involved don't even ask, or care, about each other's pasts

No, those men wouldn't. But the desirable men that don't cheat would. Think of being a slut as massively increasing the chances of ending up with a man that will cheat on you.

the men of that population who do (which is most of them, let's be honest, that's why people usually date at similar sociosexualities and voluntary virgins/low n-count women don't usually end up w/ men who have much different n-counts), will do so on anyone. not a risk that anyone else but promiscuous women are willing to take lmao

the "desirable" men that don't cheat won't cheat on anyone /endthread

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Firstly, I would like to express the usual condolences.

Secondly, this must be extremely painful, but let me give you an example of something else that can happen.

When my dad died, I didn't even know. The only reason I found out was because a friend of mine saw his obituary in a local newspaper. He had nothing to do with me for decades, and, incidentally, we had been quite close when I was younger.

As far as I know, he probably didn't tell his last wife and family that I exist. Naturally, he left his new family his entire estate, and, of course, I wasn't even contacted whatsoever, let alone was I left anything. If my friend hadn't seen the local paper five years ago, I still wouldn't know today whether he was alive or not.

When I learned that he had died, I felt nothing. I'm not saying that to be cold, I just felt absolutely nothing whatsoever.

So I'm sure you're going through some extremely hard things, but this is part of having meaningful relationships with people. Usually that is the better option.

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It's literally like you aren't reading anything I am saying. This requires introspection and intentionally finding reasons to like yourself. Theoretically, the initial kernel of confidence should come from an organic place (e.g. a past experience, an accomplishment, something you made/did, whatever).

Even with the lack of past results, who cares. At some level, a sufficient amount of self-worth entirely papers over lack of past results if that lack of results is due to lack of self-worth. It's not a lack of confidence without past results that is unattractive. It's the lack of believing your own bullshit about yourself that looks bad. If you are going to wear irrational confidence, you need to own it. If not, it's more or less useless and people will see right through you. This is as much about image you project into the world as anything else.

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Oh we are talking about STE. Gotcha.

Holistically please. Plus if women choose to do nursing they shouldn't complain about earning less than males in the M

Well it's a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy. Women don't want to work in STEM because it's dominated by males. They don't want to be singled out for their gender. Whether that means a higher risk of sexual harassment, or being treated as less competent for their gender.

Lolest!! The hamster in full force. So it's not about facts anymore but about feelings? please present proper arguments

The social biases have not been eliminated,

No companies are actually trying to get more women into STEM fields but women would rather do only fans again show the proof

women choosing to go into STEM are going to have to be twice as confident as their male counterparts.

So just as confident as men

We've only just started directing resources to inspire and encourage young girls into STEM in the last 10 years or so. It's probably gonna take a generation of that to see the effects.

Why should resources be directed? If they need to be forced then they shouldn't complain about a non existent wage gap

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There are two issues - first, the fact is that jobs that appeal to men are paid more, jobs that appeal to women are paid less. It’s not arbitrary, it literally is a gender divide. So the choice for many women is to choose a job that pays less, or a job that is less enjoyable/fulfilling than it is for her male counterparts

The other issue is what I brought up to someone else - there are literally still jobs (me ex-h’s office being one) where women are only hired for support roles, not for executive roles. And I’m not talking HR, I’m literally talking about administrative assistants and the office manager. This is a white collar, old-boys-club profession, and there are many accomplished women who could make them a lot of money. But they don’t want them - it’s openly joked about, this isn’t some fluke

Now, I’m of the “tough titties, life ain’t fair” mindset with this. To pretend that we all don’t know this is the reality of the situation is foolish - young women can make informed decisions for themselves about their career path

But to pretend that all things are equal is just silly. Let’s call a spade, a spade here

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's what I'm talking about. Gold miners and basket weavers. No amount of complaining is going to make the output of a day's worth of basket weaving as monetarily valuable as a day's worth of mining gold. How are you going to solve that? Yeah... basket weaving is more enjoyable.

Those women that could work at your ex's company have jobs in the field don't they? Are they paid less elsewhere?

I'm all about addressing systematic problems and work-life issues but at the end of the day the people pulling 80hr+ weeks to get ahead don't tend to be women. If women don't have that drive, they just don't have that drive. Men have that drive because we don't have a choice. It's the old thing about leading a horse to water.

I do understand that there's a giant amount of unpaid labor that falls on women and affects their career choices. But for whatever reason rather than just outsource it, women seem to decide to let it compete with their paid labor.

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Gold miners and basket weavers

I mean, not everything comes down to that. While your example is apt for the sports world (women in “major” sports will never bring in the viewers needed to be paid on par with their male counterparts) and modeling (male models aren’t paid like women are), there are plenty of industries that don’t depend on a final product

My ex is at a hedge fund, they literally didn’t create anything. Just moved money around on Excel spreadsheets. By your explanation, he should be paid less than teachers

Those women that could work at your ex’s company have jobs in the field don’t they? Are they paid less elsewhere?

They’re secretaries, they aren’t “in the field.” This is literally no insult to them, because it’s how the world works, but they aren’t in the industry. Most came from outside the industry, and many left to take other admin assistant jobs in other industries - none of them have the certifications needed

AFAIK they were paid on par with other white collar secretary positions

the people pulling 80+ hour weeks to get ahead don’t tend to be women. If women don’t have that drive, they just don’t have that drive

You really don’t see how this connects to women having to choose between a job they enjoy less, and a higher paycheck? Because my career is one of the few where women outnumber men, and women are the majority of small business owners, and let me tell you ... I see many women who do work 80+ hours, taking loans and financial risks to start their own business, taking classes and trying to grow their skill set

I do understand that there’s a giant amount of unpaid labor that fall son women and affects their career choices. But for whatever reason rather than just outsource it, women seem to let it compete with their paid labor

All of that stuff costs money - daycare for infants is $1,000 per month/per infant. For some couples, it literally makes more sense to have her drop out of the workforce and raise the kids (especially if there are multiples). For other couples, the cut back significantly on other expenses to make up for it

That aside, thanks for at least recognizing it. This being PPD, I wasn’t going to touch that because I’ve had too many users claim that men actually do more unpaid labor. I give up on that argument

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[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I assumed you were saying your ex’s company was turning away qualified women but would hire secretaries

Sorry, I mis-read your comment there and thought you were talking about the secretaries for some reason

Yes, that’s what they did. And yes, they do have jobs in the field. Don’t know about their income

This wouldn’t be an issue if it was only my ex’s fund that did it. But I’ve heard rumors of other workplaces that do the same, and still many more that prefer to hire men unless the woman’s resume really stands out. It’s a thing with white collar, old fashioned industries

Again, life isn’t fair. This is shit we’re working through as a society, and there are understandable growing pains. But we can’t pretend that it doesn’t make the playing field uneven right now, and serves as a barrier to entry for young women trying to get a foot in the door. Hell, it’s a barrier to entry even for established professionals looking to switch jobs

For the record, I’m still on the “tough titties” bandwagon here, because life isn’t fair. But let’s at least acknowledge that this is going on

EDIT - lest anyone think I’m only concerned about sexism, it’s bothered me quite a bit that (in my old career path) minorities were hired pretty much solely to work on “urban” or “Spanish” (or whatever) accounts. I definitely benefitted from being white because I wasn’t pigeonholed

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[–]thelajestic1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Then why is Megan using it as an example?

I don't know, I didn't watch the video. Just discussing wage gap in general.

Wtf are you on? Alright sports, STEM, and and dangerous jobs are the reason the men's medium wage is higher than womens, so why should women complain if they don't go in those fields and are not as good? Happy?

But they aren't. The gaps are when men and women are doing the same job. The issue is more about caring responsibilities, attitudes to hiring/promoting people that might be taking mat leave, and women being socialised to not do things like ask for pay rises (and more men in higher up positions - men are less likely to view women as competent and presumably less likely to grant them a pay rise).

Yes, women are less likely to go into STEM and that is an issue which is currently being worked on, by encouraging more women into STEM careers. These things are factors but aren't the only reason behind the wage gap.

[–]djblackmith1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't know, I didn't watch the video. Just discussing wage gap in general.

Alright

But they aren't. The gaps are when men and women are doing the same job.

Except this doesn't exist or there is no data (looked for it) that shows men get paid not for the same job.

The issue is more about caring responsibilities, attitudes to hiring/promoting people that might be taking mat leave

These issues are universal though take me for example I was part of the security group of a political candidate and I had to prove myself because I am 184cm and weigh 65kgs (about 144lbs). I also get paid less than my beefier counterparts as I do less of the jobs that require more man power but I understand and I don't complain if I want to get paid more I should look hit the gym, gain 30 pounds and partake in more activities.

women being socialised to not do things like ask for pay rises (and more men in higher up positions

This is a lie and I don't care it's their fault. If they want to get paid more they should ask for it. for christ sakes megan was addressing the president and "huh womens are socialized" come on now

men are less likely to view women as competent and presumably less likely to grant them a pay rise).

Because they are not as competent

Yes, women are less likely to go into STEM and that is an issue which is currently being worked on, by encouraging more women into STEM careers

Why should they be forced though

behind the wage gap.

Doesn't exist

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They absolutely can be safe. I did a quick Google I think Canada actually has a higher record of deaths than US?

An example, less than 30 electricians in the UK die per year from their job. You're more than 20x more likely to die falling down the stairs. About 40 construction worker deaths, 21 farm workers in a year etc.

My stepdad has worked construction for about the past 20 years, has had one guy nearly die but it was his own fault for not following guidelines - which realistically you risk in any job (walking down the stairs in your office while texting, miss a step and break your leg or your neck etc). I know plenty people in trades and construction and not one has had someone die.

Exceptions are things outwith your control - bad weather in the fishing industry, doing roadworks and someone crashes into you etc. But trades and construction, barely an issue.

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My point stands. He’s top tier but access, exposure, and MOST IMPORTANTLY the market has to align. Meaning just because someone is skilled at a thing doesn’t mean other people want to pay to buy it/ watch it.

Female soccer players and basketball players are exceptionally skilled. However they lack the power, strength, and athleticism to be equally entertaining as men in those same professions. I want to see people dunk watching NBA/ and powerful post ups. Not a succession of beautifully positioned field goals and layups.

That is why female soccer and WNBA doesn’t get the viewership. It’s not the skill. It’s the lack of ppl wanting to watch women do that stuff.

If it’s “skill” then straight male porn stars should make more, no? Clearly they practice their rhythms and strokes and ability to hold a nut. What skill! They should get paid the same.

They don’t get paid the same because men are the primary viewers of straight porn and men are there for the women.

In these convos, the audience/market trumps “skill” when it comes to who gets paid more.

[–]djblackmith1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Meaning just because someone is skilled at a thing doesn’t mean other people want to pay to buy it/ watch it. What are you saying? I can be exceptional at singing with my farts but if no one doesn't want to here them then I won't get paid. BUT should a person be willing to buy tickets to a fart singing show he will pay for the best of them and if other people are better than me even if I am exceptional they will get the ticket

Female soccer players and basketball players are exceptionally skilled.

Lol! Have you ever watched female sports, they are uncoordinated and don't have dribbling skills.

However they lack the power, strength, and athleticism to be equally entertaining as men in those same professions. I want to see people dunk watching NBA/ and powerful post ups.

So they are not as skilled in a nutshell.

Not a succession of beautifully positioned field goals and layups.

Let the WNBA play the NBA so you see how out of league the men actually are in positioned field goals and layups. Plus

That is why female soccer and WNBA doesn’t get the viewership.

The ability to Entertain is a skill too.

If it’s “skill” then straight male porn stars should make more, no? Clearly they practice their rhythms and strokes and ability to hold a nut. What skill! They should get paid the same.

First if skill is really the most important attribute one needs to have to do porn and secondly you don't see men complain because they know it's women complaining

They don’t get paid the same because men are the primary viewers of straight porn and men are there for the women. Well duh

In these convos, the audience/market trumps “skill” when it comes to who gets paid more.

Nah it's skill.

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RIP. That's super shitty of your roommate.

I still think the worst roommate story I've ever heard was from my gf though. This roommate took half the furniture in the common area of their apartment and hoarded it in her room (campus apartments). Took all the common area furniture for the entire floor and the vacuum from the supply closet that was for the entire floor. Was passive-aggressive the entire year and kept trying to steal my gf's and the other roommate's stuff. Moved a bunch of her excess shit into obstructive areas in the living room, then, when it was time for her to move out, she moved a 60 year old woman into her room without notifying anyone else in the apartment. It's actually impressive how awful a roommate (and really, person) this person was.

Also, I 100% nitpick about cleaning with my gf, lmao.

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With natural makeup there isnt that much makeup that would alter your face. The difference isn‘t that drastic. I don‘t think men react that way, except if it was that huge 4h makeup the night before.

Well beauty is subjective, but naturally good looking girls that dont need to wear a lot of makeup could be considered effortless and way more beautiful than some instathot that puts on 5kg makeup, might have silicon tits, some nose surgery and spends the 14 hours getting ready for the night.

The first girl sounds more like the girl I (personally) would want to marry and shoot my kids inside (excuse my language) the second one could be just for fun and nothing more. I think most men would agree.

If you just want attention then doll yourself up, why not, life s short, go for it. If you r into finding someone more important I d say don‘t go overboard with the makeup, as it doesn‘t help your chances

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I'd rather businesses decide that working at home is just cheaper due to less workers comp claims and use of their own company electricity, etc.

My wife and I have a business (well, controlling stake at least) with sales staff and office workers and they went to remote work as soon as word of COVID-19 came out of China. Saw it all coming and said "Take your shit home and log in from there, this is going to be a long one." They're never coming back. I even trained a new employee via Zoom. Editable PDFs, Docusign and Iron Mountain data backups for the win. Now if only new California insurance agents could get trained and licensed without going indoors to a facility...

Anyway my workers have enjoyed quite a phenomenal pay raise now that they don't have to commute or buy lunches to eat at work and can cook at home.

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[–]EusticeSymington3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

CMV: The explosion of nerd culture is just a symptom of the capitalistic society we live in, in which everything is commodified; from subcultures to religion. Now it's a way for people who just want to seem smart. It took a modicum of balls before and could get you into shit, which is why it was 99.999% male.

Back in the day, being a nerd was hard. I was good at sports so I straddled both cultures but got major shit for being partly nerdy. It was like gay guys meeting in public toilets in the 1950s, collars turned up as they left. Or like going to a drug deal.

me: Hey man, you got the shit?

nerd: Of course, of course. You know I always set you up.

[nerd slips the PAL version of 'Tech Romancer' from the inside of his jacket, whilst looking around vigilantly].

me: It works on European Dreamcasts doesn't it?

[Symington slips the blue CD case into his jacket]

nerd: I'm offended you even have to ask, brother. If any nerd bashers catch you with it, we've never met - got it?

------

Nowadays you get girls like: 'Urrr my Gawwwwd I'm suucch a nerd. I like those Harry Potter films tee hee.'

[–]OXOzymandias7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

And thats why for so long nerdy parties were sausage fest full of weirdos, cus we were socially excluded.

Fucking relax and stop gatekeeping, everyone is a beginner at the beginning, it isnt supposed to be "hard", you supposed to enjoy your time and be done with it when you go back home, nerdy hobbies gain to be more wide spread actually, having more actor in the hobbies help nerds who are usually socially excluded to have now a group/ a community, which is the purpose of a hobbies MAKING FRIENDS AND HAVING FUN.

In most cities Facebook today you can just type DnD group, anime club, yugioh gameshop, and have a lot of options for you, not everyone there is an expert but you can meet a lot more people today than before.

Recent studies about gender dynamics in vidya: Low skilled males are more aggressive in chat to women compare to high skilled male and act in a more submissive way to high skill males because they are scared of being replaced in the hierarchy, knowing they are at the lowest positions, of the hobby by external (girls) elements,

To sum it up, guys who complain and are bitter about girls engaging in a very amateur way in nerdy hobbies are often...losers.

And also why are you comparing an oppressed sexuality to a freaking hobby lmao like it isnt coherent at all.

[–]EusticeSymington3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandias1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It was escapism and now it's about selling things to people who want to carve an identity in a consumerist way.

They arent exclusive, you have your own way to practice your hobby, it is totally fine.

Maybe everything you do is to get pussy or increase your chances of getting pussy but most just loved the games or culture. YMMV.

Both arent exclusive, and no my purpose is nerdy hobbies being normal shit that everyone does, in my fam everyone watch anime, play video games or go to convention, from my lil sister to my uncle, it is fine, it is just entertainment it isnt a lifestyle and shouldnt be.

Many OG nerds didn't WANT to meet in huge groups and were already temperamentally loners and joined because girl weren't there.

They can still do that without having to complain about the new generation of casual player.

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Let me preface all of what I'm saying with the fact that this dystopia mainly became true because of Tinder. None of this was so bad before Tinder weaponized hypergamy.

i'm so confused, you don't see average guys in healthy relationships?

Not for as long compared to good looking guys. And I've been observing people for 30 of my 50 years so that's not a whole-world sample but it also isn't an insignificant sample. Also even before Tinder no woman ever cheated on a good looking guy, but many will cheat with a good looking guy.

emotional vulnerability is healthy and natural

The exact things that women call examples of emotional vulnerability in women is villainized as "insecurity" in men.

shit tests... idek what those are

“I only date guys who are at least 6 ft”

“Do you say that to every girl you approach?”

She talks to or hangs out with her ex or even asks for your permission for her to do so.

She takes you to a night club with a ton of men, some of whom she flirts with. FDS women talk about doing exactly this to force their men to mate-guard.

Basically a shit test is when a woman tests a man's frame to see if he is as dominant or alpha as he's trying to come across as, or if he's a simp/wuss. For instance if she says “Do you say that to every girl you approach?” and you say no, you've failed because you're acting intimidated. If you bluntly say yes you come across as a creep. So basically when a shit test happens, you're also damned if you do and damned if you don't. The typical successful response to that shit test is pretty mean, actually: "Only the ugly ones." But it works. If you're guessing that shit tests are administered by women who are fucked in the head and only a fool even bothers to try and pass it? Yup. But if you're a lower 80% guy that's the entirety of your life. Your relationship absolutely will take a nosedive - if you're a really skilled 80%er you might be able to forestall it. But if an 80%er man starts having kids I'm never going to be politically correct about how he needs to react: he needs to get a paternity test. Just for self defense.

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The "value" of something is only related to the market you're in. You're on a sub that primarily discusses the dating and marriage market. It's no different from discussing people's value in other markets.

For example, if we were discussing the job market for delivery drivers and you don't have a license, you have low value in that market. You could be a great person, be well-read, be funny, donate to charity, etc., etc. However, that market values people with a driver's licence, so you are low value.

In this example, you don't have to hate yourself because that market doesn't value you. However, if participation in that market is important to you, then you should take steps to improve your value in that market - learn to drive, take the test, get a license. If you have a history of DUIs and cannot get a license, then sorry, you cannot be a delivery driver.

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Here’s the thing: after a certain looks threshold, a woman enters “wife” territory, not “hookup” or even “girlfriend” territory

These are the girls getting taken to expensive dinners, getting flowers often, jewelry, trips. They get introduced to parents so quickly it would make your head spin, get trotted out in front of friends and coworkers/bosses

Wife-level women aren’t competing with ONS-level women, or even dating-level women. These women are in very, very high demand, and the men they choose have zero issues making sure that they feel reassured and secure in their position

Are these men in high demand themselves? Sure. But because they’re going all out for Wifey over there, she doesn’t feel like the less attractive gals are really threat

These guys are generally the most attractive (Beta Fux or Alpha Bux, whatever you want to call them), both physically and for LTRs. These are generally very secure relationships

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The only time I've gotten into the flow of kissing, so to speak, is when both the girl and I are shitfaced and slobbering all over each other,

🤣🤣 Such a beautifully charming image.

It probably doesn't help that your LTR didn't like making out, has probably contributed to you feeling self conscious about it? I definitely felt like this when I was younger though - really aware of what I was doing when kissing and therefore a bit self conscious. My only advice would be - if you're kissing someone you trust, ask them - you can make light/make a joke but ask them if they want you to do anything different while kissing. Chances are you're better than you think you are, so hopefully some positive reinforcement will help you feel better about it. And if there's some changes needed, don't take it personally and just try to learn from it. The more you do it the less self conscious you'll feel.

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Yesterday. My partner put something on the TV and I asked if he wanted to go shag instead. He said yes.

I've also had plenty people ask me, or during sex ask me if I'm okay to try something different (for instance - anal. And anyone who thinks it's a turnoff to be asked should get to experience the feeling of someone unexpectedly jamming their cock in their arse and then tell me which is sexier).

Obviously it's not the case all the time - if someone starts something and I'm into it they'll know by me being enthusiastic about it; kissing them back, removing their clothes etc.

Saying they started something and you just never said no, or you started it and they never said no, sounds so passive and not enthusiastic to me at all. But you can generally tell with body language if someone is actually enthusiastic or not. While I'm a big advocate of people just saying no, or telling people to stop if they aren't happy, I also think if your partner is just lying there and not really participating you do have an obligation to stop and check they're okay with what is happening.

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(Un)popular opinion: If you're not interested in someone, just be honest and say that you're not interested.

Some people (mostly women) seem to think that there's some magic phrase that will get other people who approach to leave them alone, and there isn't. This ain't Harry Potter's wizarding world. The guys/women who ignore and continue pushing will do the same regardless of what you say. The guys/women who get offended or become angry will do that regardless of what you say. The guys/women who respect you will do so regardless of what you say.

Of course, not all men and women are the same, so it is really the luck of the draw in who approaches you. Best to just be honest and forthcoming with people by saying "sorry, you're not my type/I'm not interested/I don't know you that well and I only date people that I know first/I actually do have a boyfriend/etc."

As an aside, if you can't take a minute or two to be a real person with other people, then that says something about you.

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How does this:

Some meaningless guy she will NEVER fuck or see again, who means less to her than a mosquito she swats away, said something mean about her

Some poindexter she hates and regards less than a used tampon talks shit about her to his friends

cause social consequences with women?

Women are more powerful than these worthless loser men. So if women don't care what men think, how does what these men say or don't say or do cause any social consequences with women? The women passing judgment on her hate those worthless loser men ALMOST as much as the woman who rejected them does.

What difference does any of that make to the FSM passing judgment on her? What, because a woman communicating "directly" isn't a woman? Or is rocking the boat? Or makes women look bad to the mean girls running the FSM?

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Again, and please read this carefully, it is not about HIM. Women who are passive communicators are uncomfortable with any conflict, with anyone, no matter who it is or how much they care about their opinion. They get honked at on the highway on their morning commute and spend the rest of the day agonizing over it even though they didn't even see the person who did it. It's not about him and how much he matters, it's about what does and doesn't come naturally to the woman in question.

As for "How? Why?" refer to Atlas' evopsych explanation. Women didn't evolve for direct communication; communicating directly and voluntarily creating the opportunity for conflict goes against their instincts and makes them anxious. I don't know how to boil it down any further for you. My dog has no logical, rational reason to panic when the wind starts blowing, but something in her hard wiring tells her to anyway. That's how it is with women and direct communication/conflict, it activates some panic module in their brain.

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It doesn't matter if they're not "really interactions," women do not have parallel communications styles for different circumstances and the vast majority of women will do anything to avoid anything that smacks of confrontation.

You have said that your wife entertains her friends at your house sometimes, so I know that you have seen them all sitting around talking about how they agree on something. "Do you like Chik-Fil-A?" "Why yes, I like Chik-Fil-A!" "So do I, I love Chik-Fil-A!" And they all yak for the next ten minutes about how they all agree that Chik-Fil-A is good. To men this looks really fucking stupid, but what these women are doing is affirming that they are all on the same page and they are not in conflict about anything.

If one of them speaks up and says "No I like Popeye's" you will see how fast all the others turn and look at her like she just took a dump on the table. It doesn't matter if she likes Popeye's or not, what matters is that she ruined the agreeable vibe, which must be maintained at all costs.

Most women are not going to ruin the agreeable vibe unless they have literally no other choice. It doesn't matter how large or small the interaction is.

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This is just a load of bull. Guys assume women are lying when they turn them down but they just shouldn't. If she's lying and actually wants him to hit on her then she can learn from that mistake and accept people on the first go, but that's on her to learn that and not on guys to just keep pushing.

I'm generally straight up with guys, I can only think of one occasion offhand where I was indirect (and I still directly turned them down, I just lied and gave a different reason because I didn't want to hurt his feelings). But it never works. Even if you're a total cunt and basically tell them to eat shit and die it doesn't work. So I have no problems with women who prefer being indirect, since it is literally all guys. The guys who would accept being turned down probably aren't the ones who are doing the approaching.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is just a load of bull.

Not really.

Guys assume women are lying when they turn them down but they just shouldn't.

If they are, then why shouldn't we? If a woman told me she wasn't interested, I'd believe her, but never has a woman responded that way to me in my life. It has almost exclusively been "I have a boyfriend," which is commonly said even if they don't have one, which would be a lie. Men have picked up on this already and just keep pushing, which then offends the women that actually have boyfriends, so it is actually the women lying that are messing things up in this regard.

If she's lying and actually wants him to hit on her then she can learn from that mistake and accept people on the first go, but that's on her to learn that and not on guys to just keep pushing.

Yeah, it doesn't work this way, unfortunately.

since it is literally all guys

You mean the ones that actually do approach. I don't really approach anymore because I'm tired of people's shit, among other reasons.

The guys who would accept being turned down probably aren't the ones who are doing the approaching.

Somewhat true.

[–]thelajestic1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If they are, then why shouldn't we? If a woman told me she wasn't interested, I'd believe her, but never has a woman responded that way to me in my life. It has almost exclusively been "I have a boyfriend," which is commonly said even if they don't have one, which would be a lie. Men have picked up on this already and just keep pushing, which then offends the women that actually have boyfriends, so it is actually the women lying that are messing things up in this regard.

You can say that, but I've told men I'm not interested before and they then try to convince me of why I should be interested. Saying she has a bf is a direct way to turn someone down, what the fuck is hard to understand about that. Regardless of whether she's lying about having a bf it's a clear rejection so just take it. Why do you need to know the reason? Do you want someone to tell you you're an ugly little shit and they want you to get away from them? Like what to you is a reasonable rejection?

Yeah, it doesn't work this way, unfortunately

And that's her problem. If she doesn't learn from it she doesn't and she'll be alone forever. Still not a reason to immediately think someone is lying. Or even care if they are. If they've gone to the trouble to lie they're generally not fucking interested.

You mean the ones that actually do approach.

Yeah that kinda went without saying but I qualified it with my next sentence anyway.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You can say that, but I've told men I'm not interested before and they then try to convince me of why I should be interested.

They would probably fall into the "it doesn't matter what you say to them because they're going to keep pushing regardless" category then. They're not representative of every other guy though is what I'm saying. Even if they're the types of guys that are mostly approaching women and trying to get their foot in the door.

Saying she has a bf is a direct way to turn someone down, what the fuck is hard to understand about that.

Because it isn't? Saying "I have a boyfriend" isn't the same as saying "I'm not interested." Guys take it as "I might be interested if I didn't have a boyfriend."

Regardless of whether she's lying about having a bf it's a clear rejection so just take it. Why do you need to know the reason?

The reason is pretty important for everything.

Do you want someone to tell you you're an ugly little shit and they want you to get away from them? Like what to you is a reasonable rejection?

Unprompted or unprovoked, that would be pretty rude as a response to someone who didn't do anything wrong. I'd say "bullet dodged" in that case. Just be honest and as polite as they are and say "I'm not interested and if I was, I'd let you know."

And that's her problem. If she doesn't learn from it she doesn't and she'll be alone forever.

Yeah, doesn't work that way either, unfortunately.

Still not a reason to immediately think someone is lying. Or even care if they are. If they've gone to the trouble to lie they're generally not fucking interested

The problems that currently exist in the dating world exist because people aren't honest with each other. Just saying.

[–]thelajestic1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Because it isn't? Saying "I have a boyfriend" isn't the same as saying "I'm not interested." Guys take it as "I might be interested if I didn't have a boyfriend."

Except in your first post you listed "I have a boyfriend" as a direct way to reject. So which is it? Why are you now changing your mind?

The reason is pretty important for everything

No it isn't.

Unprompted or unprovoked, that would be pretty rude as a response to someone who didn't do anything wrong. I'd say "bullet dodged" in that case. Just be honest and as polite as they are and say "I'm not interested and if I was, I'd let you know."

If they're not going to accept a rejection in any case then why not be rude as fuck? Then if they are going to think "bullet dodged" that's a fucking win! I might try that next time, thanks.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Except in your first post you listed "I have a boyfriend" as a direct way to reject. So which is it? Why are you now changing your mind?

It is a direct way to reject when you're not lying about it. I'm also telling you the logic behind how it is interpreted by guys who think women who say it are lying, or who don't care because they think that they still have a chance if they keep trying.

No it isn't.

Yes, it is.

If they're not going to accept a rejection in any case then why not be rude as fuck?

Because you would be lumping all guys into a box that way. You don't know whether some guy approaching you is going to be a decent guy or not. All you would be doing is ensuring that decent guys never approach, and that seems to be what has happened if the majority of dudes approaching are the ones that keep pushing, so congrats, ladies. Task failed successfully.

Then if they are going to think "bullet dodged" that's a fucking win! I might try that next time, thanks.

So it's a win to out yourself as a shitty and immature person? Quite a weird victory if you ask me.

[–]thelajestic1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It is a direct way to reject when you're not lying about it.

This is so incredibly stupid. Are you reading what you're writing?

How the fuck are you meant to know if she's lying. You either believe her and it's direct or you don't believe her and think it's indirect even though you have no fucking idea if it is or isn't. Either way, it's still a direct rejection. Regardless of whether she's lying or not it is still a rejection.

Because you would be lumping all guys into a box that way. You don't know whether some guy approaching you is going to be a decent guy or not.

They never are. You meet decent guys in other ways and it's not from them randomly approaching you.

All you would be doing is ensuring that decent guys never approach, and that seems to be what has happened if the majority of dudes approaching are the ones that keep pushing, so congrats, ladies. Task failed successfully.

We don't need decent guys to approach though, or I certainly don't. I have no interest in anyone approaching me and I wish they fucking wouldn't.

So it's a win to out yourself as a shitty and immature person? Quite a weird victory if you ask me.

It's a win to think just being downright rude might actually turn someone off. I actually doubt it will anyway cos I've resorted to that before after multiple rejections and the guy kept hassling, and it still didn't work. But nice to think it might for some. Don't you get it? I don't give a shit if a random guy thinks I'm shitty and immature. They shouldn't have approached in the first place and they're just going to have to suck up whatever shit return they get if they persist in doing it. I don't owe politeness to someone who is bothering me.

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[–]Aldabruzzo1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I know you want to take swipes at me, but try to lay your black hearted animosities aside.

I've had women react badly when I turned them down. They got loud. They acted like cunts. So what? Now if they turned into bunny boilers or poured acid on my car, then we'd have a problem (never happened).

Yes, it'd be nice if adults acted like adults. Some don't. That's life in the big city - a life that women wanted. An equality that women fought for and won.

You all fought for the right to be treated like men - to work, play, act, and fuck like men. You want to be treated like men, you'll have to deal with shitty people, on your own. You wanted the right to do whatever you want, you'll have to deal with unattractive men. Sometimes those interactions get uncomfortable and awkward. Sometimes those interactions get heated. Sometimes there's 'conflict'.

deal with it.

Sorry not sorry.

[–]poppy_blu3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]TheBookOfSeil0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not really my problem to figure out why any one person keeps getting rejected or to nurse them through it.

Well, these problems end up being perpetuated among the population as symptoms of problems that are going on. Just like women take their baggage from previous men pumping and dumping and using and lying to them and throw it onto other men that had nothing to do with it, so do men take their baggage of rejections and unnecessarily harsh treatment/criticism from women and throw it onto other women.

If I’m being constantly rejected it’s on me to figure out what I’m doing wrong and correct it.

Yes, and sometimes the only person's fault is them being unattractive but they'll constantly keep trying and failing because they don't know and can't change it.

Basics of human dynamics here.

Yeah, if only it were the same for everyone.

[–]poppy_blu2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

K. So let’s all unpack our baggage and grow the fuck up.

Yeah, that's not how it works.

If you’re constantly being rejected for being unattractive you’re shooting too high. Period. Men here hate hearing this but it’s the truth.

Or you're just asking the wrong person, in the wrong place, or you're just fucked. There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer here, just like there isn't a one-size-fits-all solution.

That you want more attractive women than you’re capable of getting is not unfair, it’s not oppression, it’s not a flaw in women, it’s not a global crisis, it’s not a conspiracy and it’s not a tragedy.

I think these men have a problem with being lied to and given the runaround by women who tell them everything but the truth ("focus on improving your personality and style and blah blah blah, women aren't shallow like men are heehee") so it isn't exactly a conspiracy but nearly every woman seems to be responding with the same exact scripted bs.

Also, what makes you think that lesser attractive women are going for lesser attractive men? There's a reason why men are left at the bottom. Women can trade their pussies for better but the men are SOL.

[–]poppy_blu2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

They have a problem with being rejected.

Definitely part of it when rejection is all that they get. You would get frustrated after constantly trying and failing at something too. Basic human dynamics or something.

Never has a woman told a man “you’re not attractive/smart/fun/rich/tall whatever enough” and had it turn out well. The whole idea you guys peddle that that’s what you want is bullshit and everyone know it.

Nah. All it would take is a few women actually being truthful. Then the women are wonderful effect would disappear along with all of the other benefits involved, and women know this. That is why women deliberately lead men on to become orbiters. The lying itself serves women's imperatives, and that's why they do it.

We do prefer women revealing their nature to us though, because it makes things and problems more clear.

Because I see it single every day and so do you.

Nope. I see women punching above (or below, depending on the interpretation) their weight class all the time. Less attractive women want men that are better-looking than they are, too. Let's not be totally ignorant of reality here.

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I asked a girl out on a date for this weekend. Today a mutual friend mentioned that this girl has a daughter and the baby daddy is some bum and has zero involvement. It was verified with Insta pics that aren't public. This girl didn't mention anything about a daughter or baby daddy in the couple of hours we talked, but it does explain why she moved to a completely new city in the middle of COVID.

What do? Cancel? Go and ghost? Smash and dash (original plan) for letting Chad knock her up? Become billy beta and let this kid and her momma ruin my life?

If I go on the date, I'm gonna act weird because I know she has a daughter while it feels like she is trying to keep that from me. Like if she mentions her daughter am I supposed to act surprised?

I'm a mid 20s man, I have never dated a single mom in my life. I drunkenly hooked up with one before, but that was when she was on a trip away from her kid.

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While the redpill might be right a gym body will help it doesn't do as much as one would hope due to womens insane collective hypergamy to the point it is basically a waste of time/effort unless you are already above average. Having a gym body dressing nicely in expensive clothes etc is only going to add at most +2 to a guys score which means a guy who is a 3 because of an ugly face or being short is now a 5 only his match? A woman who is a 180 pound ugly 3. You spend the last 3 years drenched in sweat at the gym and dieting only to have your match in womens eyes be that. It is the same if you were a 5 and are now a 7 your match is now average women who are a 5. The true magic happens when you are a 7 turning into a 9 because women are so god damn motherfucking hypergamous that they only want a 8+ and preferably a 9. Ain't nothing going to be fixed in dating until we address by far the biggest problem which is womens insane hypergramy. Telling ugly guys just hit the gym bro is not good advice if getting a partner is your goal they are better off not bothering or just going for health reasons.

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i wish we could have actually civil discussions here, but so many of these people really don’t seem to understand how to debate civilly. people get unnecessarily hostile, rude, and insulting. it’s like they’re arguing with your gender and not you as an individual, and that’s the problem. they are projecting their contempt for some people of a particular demographic onto every person who fits the description. it’s like cops apprehending random people on the street just cuz they fit the description, even if the person is completely innocent and had nothing to do with the crime.

they don’t see people as individuals, but as groups; so every time they encounter a person of that group, they treat them as if they’re all the same person. it’s a lot easier to hate someone and have less empathy for them when you don’t see them as a full individual human being, and especially easy when you project your past issues with similar people onto them.

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Black women often have to date down to get a viable partner. College educated black women have it even worse. All this in a time period where any and all settling is forbidden and women should date up or be single. There are going to be a lot of bitter women when those are your only two options and the men of your race are actually in a worse position. Difficult to practice hypergamy like the internet instructs them to.

When it comes to black men, they are known to share women (like most). They’ll cling onto one below average woman and pass her around for everyone. That’s how they avoid becoming incels. Greater cooperation when it comes to the supply of sex. This may be a key difference between Chad and Tyrone on average. Chad will hoard his left overs, Tyrone will allow his friends and their friends to get a turn.

Black women can date outside their race and interracial dating will increase overall, but it’s a two way street. Studies show black women are the “least attractive” so I don’t know how many options many of them have besides black men.

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Or have them beaten into us! By nature I'm probably autistic AF, but my mother was determined not to have the weird freaky kid. Her job was made harder by the fact I was an only child and thus did not have siblings to tease/torture or be teased/tortured by. I spent my formative years hanging out with her as she did people's ironing while watching the Watergate hearings on TV. Imagine my surprise and horror when I got to preschool! None of the other kids even knew who Spiro Agnew was. I remember spending the first recess hiding in some bushes, hoping I'd remain undetected and could make my escape when the other kids went inside. (No such luck.) The next 13 years weren't much better.

I'm still perfectly happy being alone, and the only person whose company I actually enjoy is my man's. Other people make me slightly nervous and hyperalert. I'm always a tad uneasy in their presence. It makes for a long day sometimes ...

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eh I am quite purplepilled as fuck and guys constantly misinterpret the point of having "social circle."

The point of having social circle is explicitly not about wanting someone to date. Or wanting somebody to f*ck. If you explicitly go meet people with this mindset, people will instantly see through what you are doing and you will most likely fail. Nothing worse than seeing a guy giving salesman vibes. When was the last time you instantly bought something off a door to door salesman?

Usually most people are too conservative with who they consider to be their friend like masterteacher123 said.

The main purpose is to have contacts with a handful of people so that you get introduced to their friends, and then hopefully meet THEIR friends and so on and so forth endlessly until you literally have a circle of people around you to choose from. It doesn't even have to friendship. Just be familiar enough guy, learn how to small talk (I wrote this comment years ago on small talk so check it out. Read the replies to my comment too.) and be there like a plank of wood that everybody in this social circle you created sees.

Try this in a persistent manner, and you will definitely lose some people, but you may end up getting accepted by one or more cliques who may find your presence good enough for them.

When you have this social circle, its actually far more easy to meet women with similar interests than any dating apps.

But unfortunately, this entire advice relies on you being an EXTROVERT first (which most women are really) which is where the big problem comes from. Introverts have no choice but to man up and atleast come half way. The world (or US atleast) is basically built primarily for extroverts so there's really no choice for you unless you are okay being alone forever.

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Americanized Indian food is very easy to make. Here's a recipe for chicken tikka:

Ingredients

bone in chicken thighs
tomato puree
unsalted chicken stock
red onion
full fat yogurt
mustard oil
salt
cumin, chili powder, cinnamon, turmeric and cardamom
minced garlic
ginger paste
(optional) heavy cream or whole milk
(optional) potatoes, broccoli

(Optional) Salt the chicken and leave in the fridge 12 - 24 hrs before
Marinade chicken with yogurt, turmeric, cumin & chili powder and leave for 2 hours. If you didn't do the pre-salt in step 1 add salt here
Brown the chicken in mustard oil & set aside
In the same pot add chopped onions, ginger, garlic, cumin, coriander, turmeric, chili powder, salt and a touch of cinnamon. Cook until onions are lightly browned
Add the chicken back in + tomato puree and chicken stock.
Add optional vegetables
Bring to a boil then lower heat and simmer until curry is consistency you want it and chicken is cooked through (usually ~20 min)
(Optional) Add a touch of heavy cream or milk at the end

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I hate conor mcgregor, i supported this son of a bitch so fucking much, i still believe to this day he is the dude who gave the most problem to khabib, to this day i believe he is a great fighter and that he deserves all the success he had.

He was awesome, but now he is a fucking cry baby, to sum it up for people who dont run into MMA circles, conor said he would give money to dustin foundation, dustin tell conor that he still owes the foundation money, and this dumbass just went on and on like a cry baby and called off the fight they were supposed to have this summer....btw dustin destroyed him in their last fight, he sounds like a pussy and a fraud, and a lot of people are saying that he is doing that to not have to fight him again cus he lost, and knowing conor it is highly possible, he would have never run away from a fight before if it was jsut for controversy.

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Ever thought about how numbers shape the way people think?

For example let's take the famous 6'. There's obviously nothing particularly amazing about 6', it's just a nice, big, round number. 5'12" just doesn't have the same punch to it. In contrast, in countries with a metric system the magical height for men is usually 175 or 180. Again, because these are big, solid numbers. It's not even a golden ratio or anything like that, it's just number that has a large denominator.

But what I really wanted to talk about is IQ. Average IQ was set at 100 - again a nice, big, round number. And the very number 100 invokes thoughts of completeness - things go up to 100%, test scores go up to 100, and so on. So when someone looks at IQ scores, then 100 stands out as great. If you have 100 then it is assumed you are "fully intelligent". 110 IQ? Well that's nice, but that's barely 10% better. You're just a little smarter. 90 IQ? Well that's not full 100, but close enough - I mean in school 90 points is still an A so how bad is it really.

Now imagine if IQ scale was averaged to 0. Suddenly being perfectly aveage - having 0 IQ - feels completely different. You are zero so you are nothing special, you don't stand out in any way. And the old 90 IQ becomes -10 IQ, now that's a big oof, your IQ is in the negatives dude.

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i have a habit of using a lot of filler words because of high school/college English word count rules

Professional journalists (which is how I was trained) are taught to communicate on a 6th to 8th grade level, so this sort of stuff drives me up a wall. It’s the fault of the education system, for the record

sometimes things can’t be simplified into short sentences to make your point. Sometimes the point just isn’t simple

Except for the fact that professional writers typically spend much more time editing things down to make their point simple and concise. If something can’t be edited down to something that is easily digestible, it’s fundamentally either fundamentally flawed or it’s too narrow of a focus to have general application

sometimes a person just has a lot to say.

plus, some of us just have too much time on our hands

I agree with that. But some of us work full time jobs and don’t have the same amount of time on our hands. In my case, I Reddit while driving/at stop lights

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[–]Salkinov6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Need some help with my insecurities: I'm with my gf since almost 5 years. About one and a half years ago we split up for half a year. In that time she fucked a guy (which is no problem at all even though i'm a bit jealous but i know she can do what she wants as a free woman). Unfortunetaly i witnessed some details from our mutual friend. They fucked the whole night (like 6 times and without a condom). This stuff happened so long ago but it still bothers me. Since we were together again we did not have sex without condom (she is taking birth control obv but still doesn't feel secure enough) In general we don't have that much sex which makes me question her affection towards me. I know there is a difference between sex only ONS and a LTR but i just feel less desirable. Having sex with an almost stranger without a condom without thinking about any risks and me her long term lover is not "allowed" I don't know how to communicate to her. Obviously i act like i don't know the details. I can not talk about this without busting our friend who told me. This whole story shifted me to TRP and even some unhealthy blackpill thoughts.

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Most times people's libido's in a relationship do not perfectly match up. Just because she had a one night stand once doesn't mean she will want to fuck all the time. Also people are going through different things and it can affect libido. Take me for instance if I am stressed out I don't want to fuck or I am very reactionary no matter how hot you are. Communicating that you want to have sex more opens up the other person to explain what is going through their head and lets them also voice their needs to get them into a good place. If I was stressed and my SO said we weren't fucking enough I would make an effort to fuck more if I really like them. Once people get over the hump of initiating sex it usually always ends up enjoyable for both parties. Or she could just not find him attractive but at least he will know instead of just having something built in your head.

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Ah damn he was a guy who tried to bully you too? Ugh that makes it a lot worse. Did your gf know he was a bully? Did your female friend ever offer advice on how to deal with it or insight into why your gf did it?

Tbh, I've never heard of a scenario where a guy was in your position and managed to get over it where it no longer hurt.

Do you think it would be difficult to find a new gf with similar qualities to hers and that you'd feel happier in a relationship with someone different or are you dead set on staying with her.

Unfortunately it's probably the sunk cost problem where you've spent so much time with her its hard to bail, but objectively there is no such thing as "the one". There are likely lots of girls who are of similar levels of attractiveness and who possess similar personality traits to hers who would be willing to have sex without a condom and didn't fuck a guy who tried to bully you.

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Ok, I just spent 30 minutes reading her profile.

She is of a certain demographic native to FDS. Can’t say it without getting deleted. 🤷🏿‍♀️Used by her iykyk
Says she went to multiple grad schools and law school, but works as an it contractor for hospitals. I’m in that field too. Most people have nothing higher than a BS. Income like what she is claiming is very unusual (400k). She would have to be one of the highest paid, which I doubt.
Claims to have 4 kids from different fathers and 8 abortions.
Claims to live in Miami. Maybe she does hobnob with athletes and rich guys? Athletes aren’t known for being smart or picking quality women.
She’s 43 and a single mom.

I very much doubt she’s being entirely truthful. If true, I’m assuming prostitution (admitted to sugaring). Anyway, very far away from any sort of normal woman.

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Dude I was just thinking about this the other day (but more for media targeted at women in general than soap operas). This or banging a good friend's SO.

In some sense I think that cheating has become a kind of lazy shorthand for writing a flawed character. But the writer can't fully commit to the whole "flaw" thing so they try to find a weird way to justify it? Like making the original love interest suddenly into an asshole or if it's fantasy/supernatural saying she had to hook up with the new guy because "destiny."

Tbf a book I mostly adored in middle school (and literally targeted at middle schoolers) did the same thing with a male protagonist and his new love interest and to this day I have trouble remembering that series fondly as a result. It's like we were just kind of expected to forget that the main couple was a product of the protagonist emotionally cheating on his long distance GF from the first book? At the same time we started getting complex lore and the closest a kid's book could get to talking about sex and murder so I think the author just kind of got sick of writing for children at some point.

[–]OXOzymandias1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah trope in general are for lazing writing thats for sure

Tbh i always had the same issue, how they would try to keep the character "moral" even if they did something that wasnt good moral wise, like i dont mind chicks liking this idea of a woman character having a "harem" lol, like a dude she likes to be with and enjoy comfy moment, another dude for intellectual convo and fine dyining or whatever and finally a dude for hot wild sex in the rain (rnb clip style lol). For real i think liking taboo shit is fine.

Which is lowkey problematic it is like a woman character cant be an antihero, she needs to do it for the right reasons lol.

And yeah it gets odd when you have a flawed character who want to act like the good person...it makes no sense, i know it sounds odd but it is like when sasuke change all of sudden to want to be the mayor of konoha and wife up sakura....he is an asshole....it is fine....let him be an asshole lol. Which is why I like Madame Bovary or Nana, these character are insanely flawed and when in the book they try to look good and honorable, it is almost like the writer punish them for that cus, you need to stay coherent. Like a book who talk extremely well about cheating is imo Anna Karenina, even if it has it owns flaws.

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but all the ones you cited are written by men!!!

madame bovary is a great book, but it's specifically written to be realistic and as a critique of falling for romantic delusions, it doesn't have the fantasy feeling of other romances.

yeah, the entire plot of romance revolves around some great love that doesn't have much to do with anything other than how hot the guy is (& the girl) and it often ends bad, to "immortalise" the love and the connection but usually, if cheating is involved it's the man cheating with the main character or it's a love triangle where the main character goes from one to the other. tbh i can't think of more than a few where the main character cheats bc cheating really does kill both the "greatest purest love" fantasy and the fantasy that the main character is a wonderful angel.

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So here is the issue with men not paying for dates.

Let's assume that I am a pretty young single lady. In shape, smart, not a slut, good job, good personality, the works. I'm not a raging feminist but certainly identify as an "empowered" woman with a good job, don't need a man to take care of me just looking for a kind, hot, egalitarian life partner.

I'm dating around and I have dates with two different guys. Both guys are "catches" - attractive, good personalities, intelligent, not slackers, yada yada. One of them offers to pay for dinner, and one proposes going Dutch.

Now as an empowered young women I don't need nor expect a man to wine and dine me. However, I am going to assume that the guy who pays is more interested in winning me over and impressing me. So why wouldn't I choose him, all else being equal? Paying for dates gives a man a competitive edge in a competitive dating market.

In general I think it's silly to do a big expensive dinner for a first date anyway - coffee dates that are easy to leave make more sense. But the guy who pays is "putting his money where his moth is" so to speak and showing that he's more invested. Obviously he could just be a rich asshole that doesn't care, but assuming he's just like any other guy it helps him to stand out favorably.

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A study published in childfree subreddit

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953619306999

At baseline, a week after the abortion, over half of the full sample expressed feeling mostly positive emotions (predicted percent = 51%), with 20% feeling none/few emotions, 17% feeling mostly negative emotions, and 12% feeling both negative and positive emotions (Fig. 1). Over time, the percentage of women expressing feeling none/few negative or positive emotions increased sharply, to 45% at one year and 63% at three years, plateauing thereafter. By five years’ post-abortion, the large majority of women (84%) had either primarily positive emotions or no emotions whatsoever about their abortion decision, and 6% expressed primarily negative emotions. We found no evidence of emergent negative or positive emotions.

...

In raw data, approximately 95% of participants reported at each data collection wave through five years that having the abortion was the right decision. Using the full five years of data, one week after the abortion, the predicted percentage reporting that having the abortion was the right decision was 97.5% overall. This percentage increased slightly but insignificantly (p = 0.25) over time to 99.0% at five years.

So Russian doctors are bullshiting by telling lies about depression and "post-abortion" syndrome. As well as pro-lifers who think that the majority of women necessarily regrets their decision. Who would think so, wow.

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Now that Reddit has banned the last incel sub, expect the amount of blackpill/incel content to skyrocket in this sub, the containment is now totally breached and there will be tonnes of incel “refugees” all over reddit without a home.

If you’re a young (mid/late teens) man and you’re insecure in yourself now would be a good time to get off this subreddit and don’t look back. When I was 15 I got into that blackpill shit and it fucked me up for 3 years, made me hate myself for failing to live up to the chad standard, made me bitter and resentful, was not a good place to be in.

I’m 19 and only just starting to like myself, and come into my own socially and sexually, I can only imagine where i’d be now if I hadn’t bought into that bullshit.

Mods I implore you to crack down on any blackpill/incel posting in this sub, don’t give them a platform. This content is really mentally harmful to young men.

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First of all, most of the women who make men wait aren't consistent with it. The make one dude wait and the other they'll suck within an hour.

yet you just admitted that men treat women differently based on whether or not they view her as slutty. many men consider it slutty when you sleep with them within the first few dates.

so right there is why it’s not consistent, because men are inconsistent in how they treat women who sleep with them early vs women who make them wait.

naturally women will adapt and change their strategy as they see fit.

Secondly waiting on a virgin is fine. Waiting on the town bike isn't.

there’s not really a way for you to know, for certain, whether or not a woman is a virgin or a “town bike.”

Finally, we don't live in the fifties. If you make us wait for sex, we are gonna find some other chick that won't.

that’s the point though.

Men have no issue with sex on the first date.In fact we prefer it.We have issue with sluts ( for relationships)

Just don't appear like a slut and don't have a high n and you'll be fine.

men on ppd say this, yet men irl act differently lmao

“watch what they do, not what they say.”

What women should do is to learn to vet for men who view them seriously quickly (within 3-5 dates).

for many people, that’s not enough time to properly vet someone.

[–]TheJim660 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

many men consider it slutty when you sleep with them within the first few dates.

The overwhelming majority doesn't.They consider it slutty when you have already presented yourself as a slut.

there’s not really a way for you to know, for certain, whether or not a woman is a virgin or a “town bike.”

Well, a literal virgin is usually pretty easy to distinguish. Hymen and all. Anyway, who you fuck doesn't happen in a vacuum, it's not that difficult to determine whether a woman is a slut or not.

that’s the point though.

The point is to make men reject you? You could have just gotten fat or rinsed off the makeup if you wanted that.

men on ppd say this, yet men irl act differently lmao

What exactly don't you see?

for many people, that’s not enough time to properly vet someone

These people should learn how to. What happened to these famous female social skills women here keep bragging about?

[–]rft242 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The overwhelming majority doesn't.They consider it slutty when you have already presented yourself as a slut.

yeah right. men irl admit that if you sleep with them on the first date, they don’t take you seriously. you can say it’s a minority all you want to, if that’s what you want to believe, but there’s no actual way for you to know that for a fact.

again, “watch what they do, not what they say.”

Well, a literal virgin is usually pretty easy to distinguish. Hymen and all. Anyway, who you fuck doesn't happen in a vacuum, it's not that difficult to determine whether a woman is a slut or not.

if you say so.

The point is to make men reject you? You could have just gotten fat or rinsed off the makeup if you wanted that.

yes, it’s to weed out men who are not willing to wait.

What exactly don't you see?

there’s nothing i’m not seeing?

These people should learn how to. What happened to these famous female social skills women here keep bragging about?

for many people, 3-5 dates is not enough time to really get to know someone enough to know whether or not you want to be with them long-term or to know if a person has good intentions for you. it can be if you’re already familiar with the person; but if you’re just getting to know them, they’re basically still a stranger.

that doesn’t really have to do with social skills? it’s just time?

[–]TheJim660 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rft241 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'm a dude and know lots of dudes 🤷‍♂️

yeah but you don’t date dudes to know whether or not they’d take you less seriously if you sleep with them too soon.

women have had that experience enough times to adapt and create a strategy that’s supposed to solve that problem (what you all like to call af/bb).

So any man they'll ever be able to maintain attraction to?

there are men who are willing to wait lmfao

It's enough time to make a very good guess that will be right most of the time. There are no guarantees of course.

a “very good guess” is not good enough for many people.

If they had good social skills they wouldn't need a lot of time. Plenty of girls can find out in that timeframe whether the dude is serious or not.

you really think a person you just met is going to be completely genuine and honest with you, and you’re going to know enough about them to know whether or not they have good intentions for you?

you must be very optimistic and trusting of new people.

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I honestly feel sorry for the people who romanticize their younger years.

“Omg I wish I was in HS again, I wish I was in college again. “High school was the best time of my life”.

It’s like bro that’s crazy to me, your life should be better now than it was back then. Like Why would I want to be 22 again?

I look way better now at 32 than I did at 22. That age I was a tall ass string bean. I remember my older brother roasting me saying I looked like a malnourished tony hawk lol. Tall and lanky looking like a damn skeleton. Now I’m decently built based off the last 5 years n the gym. Still have a full head of hair.

I make way more money, I actually have my own home instead of living in my parents basements. I have better cars now, I get better looking and more girls than back then. For the record I had a good life ten years but right now it’s way better.

If you’re an 18 year old reading this right now, and 15 years in the future you’re looking back saying “damn bro I wish I was 18”, something went HORRIBLY wrong in your 20’s.

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Compliments can be empty. Some men wouldn't care if you complimented them like one of your bffs because they see that as fake compliments.

I think women could make a big impact just initiating conversations and being interested in what men are talking about when the men aren't being interesting or trying to be entertaining.

Men have in their mind that they can't even get women to have a friendly conversation with them without being a dancing monkey and exerting effort to make themselves interesting and engaging. By initiating conversations and being interested, women can give men the idea that women will be interested in talking to them even when they're not being a dancing monkey, that they're inherently worthy of at least friendly conversation with women and don't need to be dancing monkey to get that. This would counteract the bad experiences and conditioning from dating and OLD, which is basically if men don't become a dancing monkey, they won't even be able to get any woman to talk to them.

Although you will probably get a lot of men becoming interested in dating you or thinking you're interested in dating because it's rare for women to be interested in talking to men when the men are not putting an effort to be a dancing monkey, but that is why it would help men, because it's behavior that isn't common.

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https://pagesix.com/2021/04/11/harvey-weinstein-secretly-indicted-on-rape-charges-in-la/

I remember when Harvey Weinstein was sentenced for the shit in NYC there was this girl on CNN I believe who said something like “well this is a good but I can count on one hand the number of men in Hollywood who are behind bars despite all the accusations during the me too movement. This is just the start but we have to go further”

I had a problem with this.

Theres 2 reasons why the vast majority of guys in the entertainment industry who were “Me too’d” didn’t go to jail like Harvey

1.)Most of these accusations weren’t really actual crimes or arrestable offenses. It was mostly just douchebag behavior and thats if you can prove it. AT BEST you have harassment in 90% of these accusations. A director taking you back to his hotel room and saying if you want this role you gotta blow me isn’t a crime unless he forces you. That’s just being an asshole.

2.)Theres a big difference between claiming someone did something to you on social media and going into a police precinct and putting pen to paper. I can say you punched me 10 years ago on Twitter all I want, it’s completely different to write up a complain report against you essentially triggering a warrant out for your arrest.

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What is the threshold for “rich enough” though

I don’t think that’s the issue

Singer’s victims were very young and beyond broke. In comparison, Weinstein’s were ... not. Mira Sorvino was not only an Oscar winner, but the daughter of Paul Sorvino, for example

Singer could bury his victims because they didn’t have two pennies to rub together. Weinstein targeted women who had resources - they could have fought back

I was too young during the Mike Tyson thing to pay attention, but my understanding is that he was a prodigious rapist and abuser. To both established and not established women. He had a target on his back because of this - Robin Givens was very vocal about his abuse

Singer just fucking slides under the radar, and it infuriates me. Same with Dan Schneider - he targeted underage actresses with stage parents desperate for a “big break.” The families that would look the other way and ignore his shit

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Well many women don’t want hookups, and many men lie or at least aren’t up front about their intentions to trick those women into them. It would be lovely if everyone was honest, but as long as men think they might not get laid otherwise, they won’t be.

They also seem to get more joy out of tricking and ghosting a woman than hooking up with a “slutty” woman who actually is ok with it.

This was mentioned in the “dating over 30” OP.

I’ve actually had lots of talks with my male friends about this and they admit to preferring the bolded.

Meaning they prefer to keep it ambiguous with a collection of women (plates) and let her think there may be a chance of it leading into a relationship because when whey do that the women exert more affection and care.

Meaning they don’t want “fuck buddies.” They much prefer many “plates.”

They like the idea of her cooking dinner for him and fucking him and warmly cuddling him (all things she’s doing because she thinks a relationship is on the table) as opposed to her using him just for sex.

It’s about her feeling committed to him, but him not having to commit to her.

I bring this up because some women are like “why won’t he just find a woman who wants casual sex like he does” Well. He doesn’t want that woman. Not even for “casual sex.” That woman doesn’t affirm his ego. In his mind the sex should be casual for him, not for her. Straight men would actually hate “Grindr” if most women behaved like that. A woman who’s only using you for sex doesn’t treat you the same as a woman trying to compete for a relationship that’ll never happen lol.

Also it places the man in the position of “plate” and as someone who plates other people, he knows that doesn’t feel good. No one likes being fuck/friendzoned.

Pro Tip Ladies: If you were ever a “plate,” don’t count it as “casual sex” or “hookups.” If it wasn’t casual for you, you were dating him. Hope that helps 😆

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I like it when "meh" people know they are and are willing to learn. There's actually a new subreddit r/CupidsArrow that is basically if FDS ditched the memes, constant discussion of LVMS, and focused on improving themselves and applying strategies. It's new so small group but really interesting to see that the tone is much different in a good way.

There's less of a victim mentality and more geniune accountability. If you get played by a man, it's because you let him play you. If you're constantly getting P&D, it's probably because you're shooting up and not vetting well enough. Looksmaxing is also discussed a lot more and less of the character levelling up that FDS is hungup on because at the end of the day, men don't approach you because of your personality. They might stay because of it though.

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old enough to know who does and who doesn't get fucked up the ass.

Its always really interesting to me that people use "cock sucker" or "fucked up the ass" to imply either someone who is bad, or an event is really bad. But like, if you step back from it for a second, its really weird.

Like, I assume most men who say this like it when their dick gets sucked and I assume that they like anal sex. So when they say this, its almost as though they are implying that these are the worst things that could happen to someone. Is your dick really that... awful... that the idea of someone experiencing it is an insult?

Straight women and gay men say these things too, also as an insult... which is confusing for different reasons. Like... what does it say about someone who has sucked a dick using "cocksucker" as an insult? That's some weird self deprecating shit right there.

I know its colloquial, and its "just an expression" that I'm "reading too much into". Nevertheless, I think its funny.

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Ron is no different than Ross, from Friends. The outdated Hollywood mindset, "loser gets the trophy-girl" which would be Hermione and it's the outdated, "if a boy pulls your ponytail, and treats you bad, he likes you!" (Not true.)

He treats her like a twat, just downright awful and when she needs him the most, he walks out on her out of insecurity, and jealously. Which is a repeated theme in the books. He comes back later, sure, but that isn't fully redeeming because this cycle happens all the time with his character.

We do not know Hermione's point of view in the books, we do not know if she was attracted to Harry. There are a few moments that absolutely can be decided more as intimate, then plainly platonic.

But for the most part, there is "zero hints of it" is because J.K killed the potential of it in order to wish fulfill Hermione & Ron. Years later she says she ended up realizing she was wrong for that.

An author shouldn't be disappointed in their own work, if they felt like they did the right thing.

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Probably women.

They supposedly have more in-group bias.
Men seem to have a wider variation in interests, behavior and traits. For example most innovators and leaders are men but so are most thieves murderers, rapists, drug addicts ect. It seems like men as a collective have more people in both the minimum and maximum sides of the spectrum in most categories.
In terms of sexual preferences I think men vary more there too. Women may vary on what hair/eye color they like or what style/aesthetic they like but in terms of the foundational traits they don't varry much imo. Like as a woman as long as your traits are roughly within the normal range you can find a guy who legitimately prefers what you have. So if you've got medium boobs there are guys who prefer that, if you've got small boobs there are guys who prefer that too. Same for height you can essentially be any height within the normal range and still find guys who genuinely prefer your height. For men however, unless you are over 6ft with broad shoulders and a dick in the 6.5-7.5 inch range you're probably never going to be preferred, only settled for.

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[deleted]

[–]Bandit174🖤 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I did say probably never so of course there can be exceptions like having a 9/10 face which is incredibly rare. Secondly even with the 9/10 guy his height of 5'8 and dick of 5.5 inches still isn't prefered or considered as a positive thing by whatever girl he ends up with. Its still negative but like you said she overlooks those traits because he makes up for/compensates with a hot face. So technically what I said in regards to height under 6ft or dick under 6.5 rarely to never being preferred is accurate because even with the 9/10 guy his height and dick size will never be preferred or viewed favorably.

Point is there's a big difference between having someone prefer the trait you have and having to "make up" for it and women are more likely to be able to find a man who prefers what she has. A girl with short-average height or small- average boobs has significantly better odds of finding a partner who prefers her traits as they are rather than them being something she has to make up for.

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Which audiences are you talking about ?

I grew up in an urban environment. I was also born same year as you. The rappers and R&B singers you’re mentioning are from the places I’m from. So it’s not odd that women like men who remind them of Brandon from 8th grade.

As far as the women who aren’t from where I’m from who crushed on Nelly growing up? Well his body was great and Black American men (with immediate ties to or collective ties to some struggle) have a swag / cool about them that’s mass appealing from a gender dynamic perspective.

I went to a death metal show in 2019. A friend’s boyfriend was in the band. There were tons of death metal chicks swooning over those guys. I didn’t grow up listening to death metal or thinking the death metal guys were hot. But it didn’t shock me that those chicks were into that look.

What’s your ethnicity / cultural background?

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Findings of empirical research show that when women feel sexually objectified by men, they show more submissive behavior. In particular, when women learned that a man (vs. a woman) was looking at their bodies (vs. faces, or not looking at all) they “narrowed their presence” and spoke less when introducing themselves; men did not exhibit a corresponding narrowed presence when a woman was looking at their bodies (Saguy, Quinn, Dovidio, & Pratto, 2010, p. 181). Being sexually objectified also impaired women’s cognitive performance in negatively stereotyped domains (e.g., math; Gervais, Vescio, & Allen, 2011) and reduced their willingness to act for changing the existing gender-system (Calogero, 2013). It seems, thus, that the sexual objectification of women shapes their behavior in ways that perpetuate their inferior social status (O. Klein, Allen, Bernard, & Gervais, 2014). "

Source https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0361684319871913

Who has a theory/explanation/experience/rebuttal??

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[–]MasterTeacher1231 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’d rather a couple get divorced when it’s obviously not working out and clear they’re not the right match, then waste years together because of the kids or an image they tryna portray. Especially if you are young.

There was this one older woman at my previous job years ago who was talking to me and said one of the biggest regrets in life was not getting divorced sooner. She was 35 at the time But got married at 23 and got divorced like ten years later but she knew the marriage was trash by year 4. The worst part was she said they had no kids lol, so you couldn’t even do the whole well we tried for our daughter thing.

I asked her why she never had kids in those ten years. She was like the plan was for them to get their careers more established the first few years, so they didn’t want kids. They had sex often but with condoms. After a few years They just stopped smashing. Friends and family looked at them weird because it was like y’all married for 7 years and you have no kids, what’s going on?

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Men getting hit on by gay men is obviously different from women getting hit on by "ugly" men (ugly by women's 80/20 standards). The reason why people need to make it about gay men and not about ugly women is because they are aware of it.

Women's standards change with their fleeting mood. One day she can be uninterested in a man. The next day, if she becomes desperate or loses her orbiters, she can become interested and her reaction to being hit on would chnage. Men's non-gay standards never change.

What this means is that validation from "ugly" men who she isn't currently interested in does give her a huge self esteem boost and a sense of social security because she knows that at any point in time she could get validation and attention from the "ugly" men hitting on her. Validation is important and is the root of women's self esteem and sense of social security.

Straight men won't ever even consider going on a date with a gay man because of obvious reasons and won't get any validation or social security from getting hit on by gay men.

Women should be grateful for this validation and recognize their privilege.

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FDS did made realize what a pickme I was being. I found the subreddit at the time when my self esteem was at my lowest. I was a loser in high school. During my first semester in college, I made a cute online 'boyfriend' with whom I 'dated' (we long distance dated but I did't see it as real). At the same time, 2 guys, a coworker at my part-time job and a classmate, confessed to me and asked me out within the same time period.

For the first time in my life, I felt like I was wanted by the opposite sex. I even felt like a protagonist in a romcom movie. I didn't realize it's because I was being a 'pickmeisha'. I tried to acted interested in their hobbies, I liked what they liked, I was 'not like other girls'. They didn't like the real me; they liked me because I acted like what they like. I was the quote n quote "easy girl".

FDS also made me realize that guys will ask out every girl alive in order to get their dicks wet. It's not because they're attracted to you.

After FDS, I reevaluated my situation. Then I formally rejected them and dumped my online boyfriend because I caught feels with him. There's no point to being a pickme. A pickme is just a female simp. I learned to love myself and be myself even if no one wants me. If I were to date a guy, it would be because I'm myself when I'm with him, and that I'm attracted to him.

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how would you feel about hypothetical guys with low n-counts who had many chances to have sex but were very selective with who they had sex with?

those are the best ones! to me, that boosts a man’s smv and rmv by a lot.

like i said in another thread, self-control is attractive to me.

what's the most trivial thing you've left a partner over?

i haven’t left any of my significant partners for trivial reasons.

i did once stop seeing a guy i was briefly dating because i really did not like his nose. he wasn’t ugly at all, he actually had nice features otherwise. i just couldn’t stand his nose. no matter how great the vibe was or all the things he did right, i just couldn’t get over it. i kept picturing his nose on my children and hated the image. i tried to continue seeing him despite this and told myself not to be shallow, but i just couldn’t do it. i had to stop things after the second date because i felt so bad.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rft242 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Personally speaking, I'm kind of atypical in that most of the women I want to have sex with are women that I want a relationship with, but they only wanted to bang me so things didn't pan out with them. Not sure if it's like the at least somewhat attractive guy turning down women somewhat frequently because they're just not who he's looking for that you might be picturing.

the reason doesn’t matter too much, the fact that he can do it and chooses to be selective instead is what’s attractive.

so a guy who fits that description is included, regardless of his reason. his actions prove he has a good level of self-restraint.

Yeah, that's pretty trivial and heredity doesn't exactly work like that. It wouldve been like a random face generator chance that your children wouldve gotten his nose.

i know but still, there was a chance and i was not going to take it.

i can tolerate any other unfavorable feature, but a funky nose is where i have to draw the line. it’s just personal preference.

[–]TheBookOfSeil0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]TheBookOfSeil2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

alone, no. women usually take a more holistic approach to attraction, so that’s just one piece of the puzzle.

So, then, yeah, he probably has to be a decently attractive guy turning enough women down and so it is more about making the one he takes feel more special and valuable than the women he turned down for bagging him and not really about the "sticking to his principles" part.

but that one thing can make a man very attractive to some women, yes. it makes you stand out among the men who, similarly, have many options; but, like many others, decide to sleep around instead.

Idk about that. When it comes to guys getting attention from women vs guys not getting much attention, women tend to go for the guys that are getting the attention for the same or similar reason we're talking about. His count is beside the point because it might not be known.

lol yeah, that’s the one feature for me. i can deal with almost anything else, just not that.

Wishing that you meet men with nothing but big European schnozolas in the future then 😈

[–]rft241 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So, then, yeah, he probably has to be a decently attractive guy turning enough women down and so it is more about making the one he takes feel more special and valuable than the women he turned down for bagging him and not really about the "sticking to his principles" part.

i mean that’s part of it, yeah; but, personally speaking, that’s not the main reason.

Idk about that. When it comes to guys getting attention from women vs guys not getting much attention, women tend to go for the guys that are getting the attention for the same or similar reason we're talking about. His count is beside the point because it might not be known.

well yes, i’d think it makes him even more desirable if many women are lining after him but he’s very selective and rejects most. a lot of women love being the “special woman that can get him” or whatever.

but if the woman finds his selectivity attractive for other reasons, then the attention from other women may not matter.

Wishing that you meet men with nothing but big European schnozolas in the future then 😈

now that’s just mean >:(

my bf will have a big european schnozola one day, but that’s a long time from now.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

my reason has to do with my spiritual beliefs, the same reason why i myself chose to be more sexually selective is the same reason i prefer a man who doesn’t sleep around.

Religion doesn't count though. That's almost a given. Basically cheating in this case.

yeah, but the scenario you’re describing (a man who has many options and chooses not to take advantage of them) don’t seem to happen quite often either

I think it happens more than you might be aware of but just don't really know it. Its not like the guy would have a posse of women following him around all the time just waiting for him to pick one of them.

i already have him! lol

that’s why i said he’ll have a big schnozola one day, but that’s a long time from now. his nose is still pretty darn cute.

No, I meant find a guy with a big schnozola right now so you're not delaying the inevitable 😃

[–]rft241 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Religion doesn't count though. That's almost a given. Basically cheating in this case.

eh, i’m not really religious. just spiritual. i believe in God and spirits and such, but i do not subscribe to any religion.

I think it happens more than you might be aware of but just don't really know it. Its not like the guy would have a posse of women following him around all the time just waiting for him to pick one of them.

you’re right, there isn’t a way for me to know for certain.

i can guess based on his appearance and whether or not i see him receiving attention from other women i guess; but i’ve never cared about whether or not women were paying attention to a guy i was interested in.

my bf does fall under this category though. i guess i just got lucky.

No, I meant find a guy with a big schnozola right now so you're not delaying the inevitable 😃

nah, i like the one i have now. i’d rather just keep him for long enough to see him with a big schnozola.

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As you probably haven't heard the alpha for Diablo 2: Resurrected dropped recently and people have been comparing all the old 2D sprites with new shiny 3D models. And complaining, because:

Amazon looks too old/like a man
Sorceress doesn't have the underboob anymore
Both have longer skirts
Rogues have smaller boobs
Blood Raven has smaller boobs

You get the idea. One commenter expressed his frustrations:

They just change the iconic looks for no reason. To make us feel bad. Why to do this? Such a nonsense. For sure they will cover catwomans boobs as well becase fuck you D2 fans.

Surely nothing shows contempt for Diablo 2 fans like censoring furry tits. D2R already divided the community back when they released their initial character designs which made all the characters look more gritty and realistic than their original counterparts, although the complaints were mostly directed almost exclusively at female characters, while the changes to the male characters were received well. I guess it just goes to show that in the end, it's all about sex. And Ber runes.

(On a side note, the first time I saw the revised characters I realized I've been gaming for almost 30 years now and I've NEVER seen a female character with visible knee wrinkles before. In fact I can't even remember any characters in movies or TV shows who had them)

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That's fair but even from a narrative perspective I feel like Motoko works even if you don't explain it. Her character is written well enough where even if she were human, an explanation wouldn't be necessary as long is no one within the narrative draws extra attention to it.

I guess it's more tasteful and nuanced if the fanservice works on a narrative level. But I feel like nowadays some creators try really hard to shoehorn their design choices into the narrative to make themselves seem less pervy.

The best example I can think of is how Kojima built up this supposedly "big reason" for why Quiet dresses how she does in MGS:V and when we finally figure out the reason it feels so contrived. Like dude if you want to put a sexy girl in nothing but a bra and leggings just do it, I wouldn't second guess it if you didn't try to make it into something bigger than it is.

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Did they look at the sprites using magnifying glasses and screenshots then said "oh no, the boobs are 1/2 pixel smaller, sjw, sjw!"? How can anyone tell the details of those sprites, especially when they are constantly moving and trying to kill you? I can't.

All the new characters seem older/more weathered, no wonder when you live in a world full of demons and other creatures that want to kill you. And generally the characters have wrinkles. I like it.

It's refreshing to see men having body hair in video game (usually I need to search for a mod to see that). It's best seen on the barbarian, but you can also see the druid rocking some chest hair. I like it.

I kinda agree the amazon looks a bit manly. For me, it's mostly the face - that squaerish bony face. The shape of the body might also add to that, but it's logical that the body would look hardened (as opposed to the feminine softness), because the amazon is a warrior. Usually female traditional warriors (heavy armour, weapons) in video games tend to look "soft", even thought all the fighting, armour and weapons should buff her up. Another game that goes against this trope is "Operencia: the Stolen Sun", here is how the female warrior looks there.

There was something off about the new assassin. After some time I realised what it was. In the original, she looked to me like a gothic chick. Did a bit of crappy photoshop and realised that she would look better with black eyeshadows and black lipstick.

Bonus: is it me or I see some peach fuzz on the females (when you look where you look at the chinline)? Or is it just random white pixels?

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Question for the debaters here. When trying to change someone’s view do you try to compromise and get them to agree to a few points or do you try to get them to agree to your entire view on that subject?

i never try to change anyone’s point of view. i think that’s a waste of time; and, quite frankly, my ego is not large enough to make me believe my opinions are so righteous that i must go around trying to get people to agree with me. if they agree with me, cool. if they don’t, cool. i’m fine with agreeing to disagree.

Also how often do you find yourself trying to understand why the opposition thinks the way they do or do you think it’s even worth trying to understand?

i usually try to understand their perspective; but sometimes a person comes with an argument so asinine that i no longer care to understand.

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but none for why you regret those decisions or want to act differently in the future.

Well I want sex, sure, that should be obvious, but it's not a matter of me "acting differently" and more so that the people I meet and who are interested in me are beyond my control, so it's a matter of me coming across the right one('s chest).

If you were conflicted I would have expected to see you give indications that you somewhat regretted not having sex when you had the opportunity or that you were considering lowering your standards yet you seem adamant to maintain them.

Do I really need to say that for it to have happened? I've thought about just taking the chance when I got it, or hiring a sex worker, or reaching out on one of the R4R subs. There's also a sub called "virginity exchange" that I'm part of for that reason, but I haven't really put much effort into finding anyone because of the above.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that, I just don't sense that you are conflicted.

Well I guess you would have to be me then.

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If I don’t add an “lol” to my posts. Simple straightforward clarifying text gets read as “woah”

Yeah that's my bad, This sub doesn't make it easy to figure out when someone is joking or when they're dead serious lol (it helps if you're one of the usual suspects). Usually people like you, Smurf, and Jax are easier to tell, guess I'm just off today.

A guy could tweet “i bet you hoes have ugly pussies and that’s why no one wants you ugly bitches” and without fail some desperate chicks will be in the comments showing a pic of their damn vagina saying “not me!”

Hey maybe she just wanted a reason to flash her vagina, don't kinkshame

THAT is pick me behavior 😂. Like why tf do you even want to be chosen or compete for a scrub of a man like that? It gives “love yourself more sis”

Her goals are just beyond our understanding

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No. And if she was being a simp for a man who constantly disrespected her and didn’t appreciate her, then she is living the life of a “Pick Me” in that relationship.

Again, I have no doubt some men on this sub desire to make some woman miserable for his gain. It’s a fantasy for them.

But as I said, I don’t understand relationships like that. Both parties should appreciate one another. If one person is constantly “simping” for someone who barely gives af/never puts in effort... why should I want their position. Sounds miserable. Not enviable.

And I’m not a sadistic person so no I don’t crave to take advantage of my partner either. I would feel terrible being with a man who adores me but who I’m only using for his money and can’t stand the sight of his dick near me. Ugh.

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to make it look really nice? yes, it’s hard. it takes a lot of practice. i’ve been doing makeup for about 8 years now, and it really only started looking professional sometime in the last 4 years. it takes time to build a skill, makeup isn’t just something you slap on and it looks really good.

why don’t you try it and see how easy it is? look up a nice makeup tutorial on youtube and try to recreate the whole thing yourself. surely, it should be easy for you.

and not all of us are willing to damage our hair by chemically straightening it, nor do we all even like wearing straight hair. good shampoo and conditioner does not make styling hair that isn’t short any easier, and very textured hair takes more effort to maintain than straighter/looser textures.

it’s easy to look presentable. it’s not so easy, for most of us, to look pretty. if you do 5 minute makeup and look pretty, you would’ve looked pretty without the makeup too.

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I realize the source for the 63% was a study from the CDC to suggest why we need the two dose system.

Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine. The Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine is 95% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms. This vaccine is for people age 16 and older. It requires two injections given 21 days apart. The second dose can be given up to six weeks after the first dose, if needed.

Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. The Moderna COVID-19 vaccine is 94% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms. This vaccine is for people age 18 and older. It requires two injections given 28 days apart. The second dose can be given up to six weeks after the first dose, if needed.

Janssen/Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine. In clinical trials, this vaccine was 66% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms — as of 14 days after vaccination. The vaccine also was 85% effective at preventing severe disease with the COVID-19 virus — at least 28 days after vaccination. This vaccine is for people age 18 and older. It requires one injection.

As you can see the Johnson and Johnson is the only single dose vaccine and it has a much lower rate of effectiveness.

Good thing I'm not friends with any fatties.

But this is all I need to know about your argument. No need to debate further.

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Look at the article posted after:

Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine. The Pfizer-BioNTech COVID-19 vaccine is 95% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms. This vaccine is for people age 16 and older. It requires two injections given 21 days apart. The second dose can be given up to six weeks after the first dose, if needed.

Moderna COVID-19 vaccine. The Moderna COVID-19 vaccine is 94% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms. This vaccine is for people age 18 and older. It requires two injections given 28 days apart. The second dose can be given up to six weeks after the first dose, if needed.

Janssen/Johnson & Johnson COVID-19 vaccine. In clinical trials, this vaccine was 66% effective in preventing the COVID-19 virus with symptoms — as of 14 days after vaccination. The vaccine also was 85% effective at preventing severe disease with the COVID-19 virus — at least 28 days after vaccination. This vaccine is for people age 18 and older. It requires one injection.

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What I guess is there are three different situations in which "pump and dump" appears to happen.

They are dating with prospect of relationship, they get along, the guy hopes sex might take it to the next level - they have sex and the guy notices there is just not more in there. He might stop dating her the next day (in my experience they drag it out a little longer, which I don't consider pump and dump but stringing along).
They are dating with prospect of relationship, they actually don't get along that great but the guy is so thirsty he doesn't care/notices - they have sex and the post-nut clarity shows him he never liked the girl. He stops dating her the next day.
They are dating but the guy never intended to get into a relationship, he just wants to shag a variety of women. He pretends to be serious and is super nice to make sure she is into him. He reaches his goal to have sex with yet another woman. He stops dating her the next day (and already swipes for the next one).

I think the first two situations are not a big issue, it's even welcome that the guy immediately stops dating her when he notices he's not interested. But the third one is shitty because the guy was manipulative and many women might automatically think that's the case when a guy stops dating her after they have had sex.

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well then you got to see the sexual side of it bc you're a man and men are thirsty and tiktok knows it, porn isnt allowed but sexual content is.

i can and I will lol. there's an entire other part of it for teens, often by teens and older women. of those people, there are loads of sahm influencers who either make content as "a mom" to her audience or for other sahm and model the sahm life. a few : bethany ciotola, cmcoving, jamie spieker, and this sweet sweet older southern woman who gives advice about grief and motherhood and love but i forgot her alt. there are also wonderful working mothers that offer both advice and a working mom model like valeria lipovetsky, and many others.

then there are tons of users that make content of the type of "tiktok big sister" like annaxsitar, brooklynne, tinx and so on. if we leave tiktok, you'd find a ton of them on youtube. if we leave social media, then kids will idolise the people around them and hopefully, they have a mom to model femininity and motherly love.

I think that working too much does impact your kid, but there is a balance there. dont project your experience on every working mother ever. my mom worked all my life and all my childhood I saw her from around 5, when school and her job ends to 9pm, bedtime. it is not antithetical to work and be a mom.

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's good there are still some who are good role models but I think you are a bit I'm denial if you think there isn't a tsunami of whorish behaviour on these places.

I think that working too much does impact your kid, but there is a balance there. dont project your experience on every working mother ever. my mom worked all my life and all my childhood I saw her from around 5, when school and her job ends to 9pm, bedtime. it is not antithetical to work and be a mom.

This is completely wishful thinking. You never added in at least the hour travel to and from work each way and this is if you are driving, more if in public transport. Then stopping off at the shops for dinner and stuff. You are going to be very lucky to get home by 7pm and many people work later than that and take work home with them, especially if it is a stressful, competitive environment. You need to take off your rose-tinted glasses and realise you chose one at the expense of the other and your fertility plummets after 30. I wish it wasn't that way because I want a woman my own age. I doubt I will ever get to be a father purely because women my age are approaching infertility full steam ahead.

[–]_mwk2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

yeah there is but there is still no grounds for moral panic.

it's not wishful thinking. I lived that way. mom or dad would pick us up on their way back from work, that commute was spent together, possible errands too. there's no need to go shopping every single day wtf. i think you need a bit more balance, everything is black and white to you. there's way more in the middle than in extremes. most people dont have CEO ambitions in their careers and most people aren't stay at home parents. vast majority of people look forward to leaving work lol and vast majority of people can't handle a stay at home parent agreement.

you're in your late 20s yet you act like you're 40. if you want a woman in her late 20s, you have to go look for her now, she still has around a decade of fertility. biology isnt as extreme as you, fertility reduces after 35 but it's not normal nor common to be infertile at 35.

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If you have your "opinions" because you want to seem smart or aloof or whatever then they aren't your opinions, it's just a pose.

My opinions get me shit on in public life: yours' are safe.

Most stated opinions are merely a way to ascend the social hierarchy today. The old beliefs and languages are always left to the peasants. The affected Glesga uni accents, the daft political tofu munching feminist opinions to fit in around the middle classes are all the safe choice.

The difference between you and I is that my opinions aren't shared by those in power and can get me attacked and called a bigot. Your opinions are those of the billionaire elite and the mainstream media. They are safe opinions. It's what you've been groomed to believe and like a good lassie, you do.

If me wanting a feminine and maternal woman makes me an uncouth underling then sae be it.

[–]thelajestic2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Well I never went to Glasgow uni and I'm not a vegetarian for one thing. I'd quite like a communist society so I don't think the billionaire elite fancy that tbh and the people in power definitely don't seem to. Since it's the tories in power, I don't seem to share any of my opinions with those in power as I think they're at best puffed up idiots, at worst a fucking scourge on society.

I was raised to look at what's around me and do my own research and form my own opinions, not blindly believe what I'm told.

If me wanting a feminine and maternal woman makes me an uncouth underling then sae be it.

Who said it did? The problem is you want to force people into that box when it isn't necessarily where they belong, and you don't seem to think it's okay for people to just live their own life. You condemn people for apparently conforming to some big scheme when in reality your problem is that they aren't conforming to you and what you think is right.

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There are different demographics, some more represented here than in real life. There is a certain demographic here that I absolutely cannot stand and often whenever I see a woman act particularly terrible here, she ends up being of that demographic. Fortunately, I don't really have to interact much with that group of people IRL because (and this will sound arrogant) I am solidly in the upper middle class and in that group of women isn't found much there. Once I kept moving up in my profession, I didn't see them there much either. My hobby groups typically don't involve that demographic either.

In terms of social circle, I just choose not to associate with bitchy women. Sometimes they are in the periphery due to mutual friends, but honestly in that situation everyone is drunk or high enough to blunt the effects.

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Title	Weekly Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	9
Comments	4597
Date	April 5, 2021 8:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mktg18/weekly_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weekly-community-chat-megathread.764809 https://theredarchive.com/post/764809

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