Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies?

MicrospathodonChrys · 2022-10-18T11:37:47+00:00

There’s a line in a book i just read, where after a young woman’s husband passed away “she realizes it wasn’t his body that thrilled her, but the way he animated it.”

CimZim · 2022-10-18T11:53:07+00:00

Most of the women here, myself included, are the type who either really want or even require an emotional connection with a man before we see him as sexually attractive. Remember there's a difference between sexual attraction and physical attraction. I find lots of men physically attractive, as in they're pleasing to look at, but I'm only sexually attracted to my guy or pictures of my guy.

What you are looking for are responses from women who would go crazy at Magic Mike shows, or give a blowjob to a male stripper they have only been sitting near for 8 minutes, or are immediately dtf a total stranger dude in the club bathroom because he looks hot. These are the kind of women who are able to get sexually attracted to a man without any emotional connection. Idk if we have any members like that currently.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-10-18T11:12:43+00:00

I like looking at attractive men, but putting a picture of a half naked man on a car isn’t going to make me want to buy it

Wackus_B0nkus · 2022-10-18T14:46:53+00:00

For me personally, visual attraction is REQUIRED but not SUFFICIENT for attraction.

If a guy is NOT physically attractive to me, nothing else matters. We can be friends but thats that. Because physical attraction is required.

But if a guy IS physically attractive, I MIGHT be attracted to him. There are many guys I find visually very attractive but I don’t feel any attractions toward. It’s not sufficient, I still need to be charmed by them lol (voice, smell, charisma, personality…. All those other factors play a huge role as well).

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-18T11:41:27+00:00

I’m not very visually stimulated by the male form. Just looking at a male body (even if it’s a “Chad”) does nothing for me. I do recognize when someone is attractive or unattractive though. I personally find broad shoulders very appealing, but it just isn’t really sexually stimulating.

My sexual desires usually stem from his actions or something a man said (usually a combination of both). Also, once I get attracted to someone emotionally, I start to see little things that make them more attractive physically.

2022-10-18T13:00:03+00:00

Two broad parts of this answer.

When I’m feeling horny anyway, visuals of men’s bodies in certain contexts does arouse me — I hang out on some of the men’s gonewild subs for this reason. It’s not all the time, but yeah if I’m feeling that itch, certain types of images of male bodies arouses me intensely and makes masturbation much better. Videos of men jerking off is particularly arousing to me.

More importantly, in the context of a relationship or someone I desire IRL, I absolutely lust after his body, and that has a visual component. Again, it’s not an all the time thing, but definitely when I desire him personally I can be very aroused looking at certain parts of his body during or outside of sex.

AquaChip · 2022-10-18T14:50:01+00:00

No. I’ll explain it simple. I can’t get off on looking at a naked man who is hard. I CAN get off on watching a man jerk off. It’s the action not the static image that is arousing. Men are more likely to be aroused by things they perceive as objects, that’s why they are able to cum looking at a 2D image of a woman. (This is also why men have more object-focused fetishes than women)

I can look at a man who has the body type I find attractive and go “wow, he’s hot!” but it doesn’t turn me on in a way that would cause me to masturbate. It’s like appreciating a sunset.

Also I want to add because I know what I said will be misconstrued — this doesn’t mean women don’t need to be physically attracted to a man in order to be turned on.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-10-18T11:35:51+00:00

When my bf sends me pics of him at the gym I’m like 😍 but it’s not going to make me physically aroused like, it’s just a picture. That doesn’t mean I’m not attracted to him. If we were in the same room and he was naked I would be more aroused because of the possibility that we will have actual sex. I don’t know what to tell you man but it’s not worth getting this upset about. Put it down to a difference in testosterone. It’s like me getting upset that men are stronger than me, a fruitless endeavour.

Side note, I was going to say men are stronger than me in general but I bicep curl 8kg so probably every man is stronger than me 🤣

Makaveli676 · 2022-10-18T15:54:54+00:00

I work at a grocery store, among hundreds of different women & men throughout the years I’ve been there, equally.

There’s all types of people that walk in & out of the store, especially attractive people, from my experience, men respond significantly more to women’s appearance than women do to men. I kid you not man, I seen two of the most conspicuously tall men walk into the store and follow a women around to glance, she had a very nice body, it’s impressive because she was at least 40 years old, I swear. Those definitely weren’t the only men I’ve seen do that, but the fact that they were so tall and noticeable and still did what they did was notable to me. Men I work with follow women down the isle and chat amongst each other about an attractive woman they seen all day, never have I ever heard a women I work with talk at a length about a man’s appearance (I’m a straight male but anyone can recognize when a man is considered attractive and meets most women’s standards). Women definitely don’t seem as stimulated by a man’s appearance in my experience and I been around plenty of women, sadly it doesn’t seem like they find us as physically excited as we do them

I’ve seen women acknowledge how attractive they consider a man they’ve seen, but not to the extreme like the men do.

CatchPhraze · 2022-10-18T14:27:23+00:00

We are, but by parts men don't seem to understand. Your abs are meh, your dick is meh. Your face is hot. Your hands are hot. Your jaw and stubble are hot. Your thighs are hot. Your forearms are hot.

I don't care about the abs, but those other parts look better when you stay fit. I don't think I'm abnormal in my attraction ques so idk why men think what gay men like, is also what straight woman do.

womandatory · 2022-10-18T21:39:34+00:00

Women are just as visual as men. That old myth has well and truly been debunked by research.

Part of it is socialization - men believe they have to be sexual aggressors and women should be coy. I am turned on by my partner, but I couldn’t care less about movie stars or a good looking man on the street. I might notice him and think he’s aesthetically pleasing, but I’m not going to find myself sexually attracted to unattainable men because that’s stupid and a waste of resources.

Men are entirely capable of developing the same level of discipline and self control. First step is to stop using porn and objectifying women. Next is to look for meaningful connections with the women in your life beyond what they can offer you (someone to fuck, someone to cook for you, someone to serve you coffee). When you see women as human, you’ll still find them attractive, but you won’t find yourself unable to control yourself because you won’t see them as just objects to fuck.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-10-18T12:38:16+00:00

Men are better experienced. In movement, in sound, in feeling, in real time, in total. I don't see how you concluded women are not sexually attracted to men when women simmer in arousal for the man in entirety. I like how muscular men take up space, enclose around me and feel for instance. I like to feel his muscular chest and I enjoy running my hands down his body is we are fucking, abs or not, it stimulates.

I am not turned on by random men visually 'right away' but yes, my partner visually turns me on because I crave how he fucks me and things about him, so crave sex with him - seeing him naked can get me aroused, even better if his dick is hard and does the twitch I like. When I am under stress, my 'lower simmer' is completely off. If males get attracted to anything female whether it is a real human or not, the question remains if males even like human females, but are just stimulated by anything that favors a female.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-10-18T11:15:09+00:00

There are women that get sexually aroused spontaneous and sexually aroused by visuals. There are women that watch porn, that look at photos and are aroused by that. We are not all the same.

It's just that the majority of women have responsive desire. Doesn't mean we aren't attracted to our SO. I love slapping my bf's butt. He plays a lot of running sports and has a wonderful butt/legs. But if I had no emotional connection to him I wouldn't feel that way about a body.

I worked for over a decade as a photographer and did nude photoshoots a lot. It didnt arouse me. I can appreciate a good looking body and capture it on photos. I can appreciate body parts that are beautiful to me but they don't spark desire.

My desire is sparked by the idea of touching that body part or being touched (I have a thing for hands).

If you have mental health issues about the way someone else is feeling desire which you don't influence I would suggest you seek a mental health professional.

Women are not men. If you want a woman that has the same arousal style as you, you need to vet for that. I had to vet for a partner with similar kinks. It's the same thing.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-18T11:16:30+00:00

No, I like to look at bodies. Looking at my partner's body is something I could do all day. The caveat is that a body isn't going to do much for me if I'm not already into that person, it just doesn't have much meaning. Like, I could be interested, but I'm not going to get off to it. Bodies in pictures are more uninteresting than real life.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-10-18T14:17:18+00:00

Well, naked bodies don't arouse me. It just never happened to me, and I tried watching porn. The view of penis is just "meh". I think that men look much better in the underwear.

To be honest for the most of my life I thought that this whole "naked body attraction" was made up by culture, like movies or books. I never felt this need to fuck someone just because they were attractive. Like, seeing a good loking men don't arouse me.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2022-10-18T15:26:55+00:00

I am attracted to men, not men's bodies. How he moves and animates that body in response to me is what gets me going.

You want the male gaze applied to you, but from a woman. It's never going to happen, you'll just have to make peace with attracting MtF trans and homosexual men if the gaze is so important to you.

Women aren't men, why do you want us to act like them?

vogel777 · 2022-10-18T12:10:03+00:00

Naked men don't automatically turn me on even if I'm attracted to them. As a straight woman I do find men sexually attractive but it's not just a case of see it = sexual response.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-18T13:38:25+00:00

if you just show me a picture of a hot guy i’m gonna be like “well that’s a nice sight.”

but seeing a man in action is what does it for me. y’all ever seen a man chop wood? like holy shit, tingles

HumanNumber348 · 2022-10-18T11:29:42+00:00

I’m not sexually attracted to men, but as someone who’s done a ton of research on the topic; no, women generally aren’t sexually aroused by male bodies alone. They may admire you aesthetically, and your looks can work as a powerful catalyst to the sexual desire that may happen as a result of your actions, but it doesn’t do much on its own.

I don’t understand why this would make you sad, though. Isn’t it nice to imagine that, when a woman desires you sexually, she desires you as a whole, including your personality, and not just the empty shell you walk around in? I sympathise with women more on this one tbh. While they desire whole people, and like men as a collection of all their traits, they have to bear with knowing that a man will only really desire their ass.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-10-18T11:58:07+00:00

i have probably a triple digit count, have lived with 4 men and have never cared about a mans body one bit other than his skeletal frame. women are not generally "aroused" by mens bodies. what you all are failing to understand is that gym bodies on a man are now an accessory for the hottest girls. you think think womens "attraction" to gym bodies is sexual, but its not. like all things female it is solipsistic and FSM based. women used to want a man whos career/money was impressive, now they want one tha tlooks impressive to other women on social media. thats it

If so, I find that it's going to be hard for me to have a happy sex life. I mean, if I can get aroused and want to fuck simply by seeing my partner naked, but if I always have to initiate things by touching them, saying things, etc. and that they'd only be able to be aroused by me showing desire for them, and that I just as well could be invisible, because my appearance doesn't matter, then it'd be very boring for me.

congratulations, youve discovered the cause of non-orientation priapic male homosexuality. if you want your body to be worshipped you will have to have sex with men. good luck

mikowoah · 2022-10-18T15:56:56+00:00

i don’t know about other women but i do not get turned on by the sight of a dick or a man’s body. that’s not to say i don’t appreciate their dick or body if it’s nice but i focus more on the feeling than the visual to get aroused. thinking about the weight of a man’s body on top of me actually does more to arouse me than just seeing/thinking about his body.

Ariadne008 · 2022-10-18T20:20:00+00:00

This is bizarre. Of course women are visually stimulated lol.

Koipisces · 2022-10-18T15:07:16+00:00

The simple answer is no. Tbh I can’t do an obese man but most women including myself are just fine with a bit of dad bod. I don’t really care about how a man looks (sixpack or dad bod) but more about what he can do. Also why erotica books are popular with women and often very explicit about how the man is and what he is doing/saying not much how he looks like. I also consider myself a face person but I like cute faces over the really manly ones. If I like his face I am probably ok with his body and even height. There is also a reason why gay men sexualize male bodies more than women. They usually need more visual than us. Its also why dickpics don’t do anything and are a turn off more than a turn on. I don’t need to see it in all full glory.

2022-10-18T15:18:13+00:00

I've always found male bodies very sexy. If I accidently come across hung shlong on Reddit, I'll become aroused suddenly.

Cum getters drive me absolutely wild. I tolerate A LOT of sport because men with cum gutters are typically jocks.

MistyMaisel · 2022-10-18T16:06:32+00:00

There's so many times I'll look across the room at my partner in all states of dress or undress and just admire and feel all kinds of horny from just the shape of his arms, chest, tummy, hands, or the line of his neck, his beard, and then we get to his face, eyes, smile and it's like "holy hell, I want that buffet right now". Sure, sometimes in the day to day goings of a relationship and life I'll forget how freaking hot he is, but I always notice it at some point or several points in the day. Sometimes it even hits me so hard I'll cover my face from blushing and feeling so shy about the intensity of the feeling and emotion. So, I would say, yes, of course I feel intense physical attraction to my man's body. It's a big part of my favourite thing in the whole world even. I adore the look of it, the smell of it, how it feels to touch, how it sounds, and as another person said, how he animates it.

But if you're asking do I feel anything like that over strangers, porn, or still images, not really. I mean, I recognize the same aspects as hot on them. I notice the same arms, tummy, shoulders, hands, face stuff. And I appreciate it and even maybe get some good vibey tingles. But, I don't really want to do anything with that. And it isn't intense. I wouldn't get off to just seeing it or want to get off even.

I suppose, I would say to you, OP. Is that I'm very stimulated by the visuals of MY man. I'm not very stimulated by the visuals of A man. It's not zero, but it's like a 3 out of 10. MY man is a 10/10 stimulation. And I would explain this to you as, I'm not very stimulated by the sight of a random chocolate bar. I am very stimulated by a chocolate bar that is mine. One of these things I know I'm going to eat and I'm pretty excited about it. The other chocolate bar is far too theoretical a chocolate bar to be that fun.

I do think there's a minor difference here in the sexuality, and I think you see it in the choice of porn of the genders. Male Centric Porn tends to have like no story or characters. People just like show up and have sex and there's no real explanation as to how they went from point A to B and any explanation which exists is pretty damn spurious to the sensible mind. Female Centric Porn has like chapters and chapters of build up, there's a real explanation how these two people got together, and it at least makes some semblance of sense or realism that you can kind of buy would occur.

The difference isn't in how men and women perceive each other's bodies, the difference is in how accessible they believe they should be or are. Men think "super accessible, barely an inconvenience before my shlong is in that" and women think, "this is a whole damn process before I'd want Godzilla to take my Tokyo".

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-10-18T15:52:13+00:00

I think it’s odd you’re concerned women don’t have the same wiring as men sexually.

It’s just not how we’re made so expecting them same reaction is ignoring womens autonomies and wanting us to be women with male brains.

In other words there is a lo to unpack here.

I can look at a stranger and find he’s attractive, I may get flustered and giddy if I’m next to him but will I be sexually aroused? Not likely.

Now take a man I’m in a relationship with. Will I be aroused by his body alone? No, will I be aroused with how he moves, his voice, his mannerisms, his smell. Fuck yes. To me that’s just so much more meaningful.

Diamond-Breath · 2022-10-18T12:14:15+00:00

I don't get wet just by looking at a random man's body, but my eyes do linger on my boyfriend's broad back and his muscles. He's sculpted like a Greek statue, I'm awed everytime he gets out of bed naked or when he flexes for me in the shower for giggles. So yes, women do find certain male bodies arousing.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-10-18T14:40:29+00:00

I do think my boyfriend looks good, but that's not the main point. The way he touches me, the way he smells, and the way he sounds, are probably more important than looks by themselves

labtech89 · 2022-10-18T14:42:56+00:00

Bodies are nice but minds and personalities are sexier.

bigapple4am · 2022-10-19T02:12:08+00:00

If im ovulating all bodies are attractive

inkiwitch · 2022-10-18T16:03:31+00:00

I’m a bisexual woman and I’m soooo visually hypnotized by women in a way that men can never replicate.

I could watch a really beautiful girl just sit and blink for like an hour. It’s just… fun and thrilling to behold. Definitely start thinking of her naked and every spot I would want to… ya know.

For men? I need way more. I can see a TikTok of a really cute guy (usually still wearing his shirt, man muscles do nothing for me) and he’ll dazzle me with a smile or funny something but that feeling won’t evolve into me picturing him naked.

I only EVER like exactly one dick in the world at a time. And it has to be attached to someone I know, trust, and really like. Jensen Ackles is the most perfect looking man I have ever seen but if I was in a relationship with a man, my desire to see Jensen naked would stay solidly at 0%.

Will alwaaaaaaaays wanna know what a girl looks like naked. All of them, all the time, god I love boobies.

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StoicGypsy · 2022-10-18T12:47:49+00:00

Arousal for me does not come from physical attraction solely. Of course, I can be grossed out by someone who doesn’t take care of themselves but my arousal starts at probably a solid 5/10 on looks. Not your clean cut, fitness model type.

Arousal for me comes from mental stimulation, twist me with your words and thoughts, show me your superiority and success, and tease me with your touch. And I will become putty.

bunnakay · 2022-10-18T14:07:32+00:00

If you're referring to sexual arousal, no.

erottawa · 2022-10-18T15:39:36+00:00

I'm a man, so take this with a grain of salt. But looks are just one of many factors that women focus on in determining if a man is attractive. As far as looks go, consider that there are basically zero strip clubs that cater to women - women just aren't visually stimulated the way that men are. A man's clothing is just as important to women as his actual body, if not more so.

Women's attraction to men is partially based on looks, but also on confidence levels, social status and dominance, etc. Women's attraction to men is weird and depends highly on how the man makes the woman feel. Overall, women are reactive. They wait for men to approach. They worry about their looks and do all sorts of bizarre things to attract attention from men (or at least from high value men). Women are weird, bottom line.

Don't overthink it. Just focus on your own life, succeeding and bettering yourself. Think of yourself in positive terms and you'll go far with women.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-18T17:19:34+00:00

I wouldn’t say we’re not turned on by attractive men but there are just so many more qualifiers and steps that precede it or work in tandem with it.

Like you can’t bake a cake with no sugar and expect it to taste good. But you also don’t want to eat straight up white sugar, because unless you’re a toddler that’s also not very appealing.

Physical sexual attraction is a package deal with your feelings toward the man, the lead up, feelings of both security and excitement, or even things that have absolutely nothing to do with him like how your day was.

Warrensdottir1 · 2022-10-18T20:20:00+00:00

As a woman I must say I’m extremely attracted to the male form🙂

Gawernator · 2022-10-18T21:35:15+00:00

Women enjoy attractive men, yes.

Kronbopulus · 2022-10-18T21:57:47+00:00

I’m reading through all this.. get height requirements still are incredibly prevalent.. something isn’t connecting here

waffleznstuff30 · 2022-10-18T23:23:19+00:00

Absolutely not.

A nude is not going to illicit the same response as a text saying all the steamy things they were thinking about doing. That will get stimulating more so than a naked picture. Whereas for men it's like that gets the ball rolling.

If I see a naked body it's naked body. Like oooh okay. I can appreciate the time and effort if they are fit like you work out it shows. But it's not going to do the stimulating. It's the actions I guess the mental part has to be stimulated more than the visual part. I mean obviously there is some physical attraction there like a nice face and stuff like that. But it's the mental stimulation

Nymd90 · 2022-10-19T00:02:39+00:00

I've probably slept with around 150 girls in total and had 4 relationships. When it comes to random hook ups i've had like 4-5 girls compliment my psychical appearence. The rest never mentioned it, yet they slept with me, so they must of felt some attraction. When it comes to relationships I got a lot of compliments for my psychical appearence.

My conclusions is that there's a few factors in play here.

Girls don't value psychical attraction as hard as men, they value personality and general vibe (both confidence and the ability to make them comfortable) perhaps even harder to an extend. This felt extra clear when they felt more connected to me.
Girls are way more shy and withdrawn in the area of complimenting someone they're not fully connected to.
My psychical appearence isn't good enough to be viewed as unique, but my personality and my vibe is good enough to compensate for it.

In the context of those hook ups it doesn't really feel like they very crazy of my psychical appearence either, more like what turns them on is the seduction itself, here confidence is more important than ever.

The9thElement · 2022-10-19T00:41:43+00:00

Yeah men’s bodies are ugly ngl

ohdiddly · 2022-10-19T02:33:55+00:00

I absolutely am. The male physique makes me go goblin mode.

ESPECIALLY dicks. Simply seeing a picture of a dick makes me instantly horny (don't get any ideas fellas reading this I don't enjoy unsolicited nudes). I will never understand women who say they're attracted to men but think dicks are ugly/gross, DICKS ARE THE BEST PART WYM???

EmergencyLow1059 · 2022-10-19T03:24:51+00:00

I’m a woman. And attraction is so much. I do get attracted by men’s bodies for sure, but not by biceps and abs like I feel a lot of men think. I could care less about abs and the size of your biceps honestly. As long as you’re fit and formidable. I’ve done Jiu jitsu for over a decade and there is a certain FUNCTIONAL strength (not just CrossFit) I find very attractive in a man. I like men who work with their hands as well. I find ranch work, wood work, mechanics, police officers, etc all attractive occupations . It doesn’t mean that every guy who has a job like that is attractive to me but fit men within those occupations are likely more attractive than your regular Chad. There is actually something very off-putting about a man who obsesses over his figure. I like strong, capable, hardworking men with handsome faces. I know a lot of women dislike hairy men but my husbands hairy chest on my smooth back while we are having sex literally makes me wet. However, I’m particular about the coarseness of hair on the man though. I like rough strong hands capable of doing the aforementioned work. I like a dominate man but never domineering. I do not like ridiculously over-groomed “trendy or fashion forward” men nor do I like overgrown hair cuts, yellow teeth or ragged clothes (unless work boots, overalls, mechanics jumpsuit etc).

AND a man’s humor, kindness, intelligence and creativeness are equally as important to all the physical things above. Some men have a few qualities from the physical things I mentioned but all of the characteristics I just listed- and I’m wildly attracted to them, never the other way around. You can be “hot” in all the aforementioned ways but with a trash personality and you’re instantly a 0 out of 10 on the arousal scale.

Also, sexually, penis size does matter to me. I’m not hating on the smaller guys but a big beautiful cock is absolutely delicious to me and I never tire of unzipping pants that have one of those in them. But as the years have gone by I’ve realized a lot of women like them small/average I’m just not one of them. And similarly our sexual appetites and willingness to pursue a man can differ - I’m usually an outlier there again.

So yes, women are complicated- you’re not going to get a “one-size-fits-all” answer. Please stop letting this distress you. I don’t find it attractive if men can’t be comfortable in their own skin just as many men think the same of a woman. Worrying is not going to help you be more attractive- owning what makes you unique and happy will attract far more women than saying things like “it seems unfair…” when trying to dissect the nuanced thing that is human sexuality. This is true for both genders btw.

2022-10-19T10:52:23+00:00

Okay everyone. I don't think I've gotten much out of this—maybe I chose the wrong subreddit, maybe the types of people who want to reply are those who say the same shit, and maybe I've just written a bad explanation of what I meant.

There's a lot of misunderstanding here.

Looks can be very charming, ESPECIALLY in combination with how they're moving their body, standing, expressing themself, talking, what their voice feels like, the context, the mood that one is in, etc. I firmly believe this is the case for both women and men. Lots of women do seek more SUBJECTIVELY physically attractive and healthy looking men, I don't think this is a lie.
I disagree with what many of you are assuming about men, and I feared that a lot of you would be spewing out shit like this. No, most of us don't just want to fuck a woman because she has a charming physical appearance. I mean, believe it or not, for most men, good and desirable sex is mostly mental. Honestly, who the fuck just looks at a woman and just thinks she's a no brain sex doll? We matters a lot more is that they're also desiring you, that you have established an emotional connection, their movements, their voice, that everything feels genuine etc. etc. I honestly don't think that men and women are very different in this department, and I never mentioned ANY of this in my post.

As I started out saying, I didn't know a lot about this subreddit when I wrote this post, but it feels like the governing discourse is that there's a very clear difference between men and women, and that lots of you just don't want the lines to blur.

All I was saying is that appearance mattered and was an aspect that was meaningful during sex and attraction. I think I also explicitly said that it's not just the appearance alone but all the associations with a body that makes it arousing. I firmly believe that that also exists for women. Seeing your man's body must do something, right? Men and women are not aliens to each other.

And in regard to pornography, or nude pictures—this might simply just be socialization, primarily. It's not every picture that does it for you. I don't just look at a pair of boobs and just masturbate to light that gets into my eyes. I can see why lots of you women think that that's what we do and that's what you want to believe, but that's personally definitely not something that I do. Maybe I'm just special, IDK, but as an 18-year-old guy, I have a craving for sex, intimacy, sexual physical touch, and reciprocated love and such emotions. I can masturbate to my fantasies about being together with a woman I know very well and have a loving and sexy relationship with—masturbation, to me, isn't always just about release, it's also about tending to such desires and needs—but sometimes, pictures can be helpful. I associate young pretty women and body parts of them, naked or semi-naked, with good sex, lovable personalities, and a happy and emotionally fulfilling relationship, all of which factor in when I masturbate. I guess I'm just really good at fantasizing and imagining the emotions that I want to experience. I assume that much of it is socialization, though I'm not excluding the fact some of it is 'hard-wiring'. And I guess that that's what a lot of men, to at least some degree, can relate to, which is why visual stimuli works so well.

To me, it's just very foreign that women are saying that they don't experience any of this. I certainly believe that there are women who do, but a lot of what you are saying is that the body is entirely just meaningless in regard to sexual arousal. And I feel like the reason why is simply that, as I've said, women's bodies are much more sexualized and objectified in this world. We see everywhere; it's like hundreds and hundreds of pictures that we are exposed to each and everyday (I assume lots of you spend hours on reddit) include stuff like that. That's not the case for men and our bodies, which often are desexualized or framed in a way that's gross or even goofy, idk. I mean, believe it or not, socialization actually does lot of things to us which we aren't aware of us. I think many of you will agree with this.

Some places in the world, and many societies in the past, didn't actually sexualize women's breasts, for example.

I think that pornography can be explained as: socialization + more porn and girls/women that post nudes + better porn. And the reason why girls/women post more nudes, and know how to do it well, is, well, because of all the socialization, sexualization, and objectification!

And that's just pornography. I'm not in relationship, but I can imagine things. If I'm in a healthy and organic relationship, the body of my partner matters on many different levels. As many of you have already said—yes, there is a boundary of physical attractiveness that you need to cross before you can be considered a potential partner, and everyone's boundary is different. Not looking too old, not looking too young, not extremely obese, not malnourished, etc. and looooots of other factors, and I think we all can agree that certain physical characteristics sometimes can reveal things about someone's personality.

In the relationship, the body of your partner, to me, is of course meaningful in the sense that it's directly associated with sex. If I'm horny and desire to have sex, I want my partner's body. That's all there is to it—it's that simple, isn't it? I feel like a lot of you say that it's your partner's job for you to get aroused, like that doesn't even make sense. So if your partner never initiates, you just never get the urge to have sex? What is sex even about, then? I can understand that lots of you are saying that movement ('animation'), touch, smell, sound, etc. matters a lot, if not more (I would definitely say this too), but doesn't being horny transform your partner's body, in your eyes, into something that is sexually desirable and attractive? Or do you just not get horny?

I still believe that men and women are much more similar than different.

I didn't read this through, there are probably some inconsistencies and contradictions, etc. I'm just still very confused.

EDIT, to anyone who might be reading this now that this post is dead/necro:

A lot of the answers here, I think, are based on misunderstandings. But thankfully, there have also been a lot of answers that verify that women, indeed, also are attracted to men's bodies. I still firmly believe that men and women pretty are much equally visually stimulated—but the reason why visual porn often works on men, I believe, is simply because of very complex and grand socialization. Both men and women are pretty much equally capable of appreciating the body of the other sex and finding it sexy, but since women's bodies have become so sexualized, many of us have a much more intense pavlovian response pattern to them. Personally, as I've realized, looking at hot naked women's bodies can cause me to think about my sexual fantasies, that often are associated with specific types of women, which have been ingrained in me by various things that I've experienced in my life...

Or, that's just my guess, and what I've chosen to believe in. Whether it's right or not doesn't actually matter, as life is about what makes you happy. If I find a woman who can appreciate my body—fantastic! But if won't happen, I'll just have to find happiness in other areas of my life, and maybe compensate such desires with my sexual fantasies. And that is why I give up on this questioning all of this and also choose to live my life, collecting things that will improve my life, and leaving behind those things that won't.

In the end, what matters is that I stay true to myself and keep my focus on happiness. And that requires that empty my mind for these questions and fill it with positive things.

This is a throwaway. So, goodbye.

Ppdebatesomental · 2022-10-18T13:45:09+00:00

If I am sexually involved or interested in you personally? Yes. Do I respond to strange naked men and random sexual body parts? No.

They tried with Playgirl, the only people who bought it were gay dudes

Don’t worry, when you actually get into a sexual relationship with a woman, getting her turned on will be a turn on for you too. Stop overthinking things and creating problems that don’t exist

GlumManufacturer1557 · 2022-10-18T17:20:02+00:00

No, not really. Id get off to a dick pick just fine. Or to something sexual someone said, even If just a joke, a tight hug, even a certain kind of look. Hugging a guy with a hard on must really be heaven, tbh. Just the idea of sex with someone interested in me sounds amazing. Damn man, starting to deviate from the question. Guess this is too much reddit for today.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-10-18T23:28:18+00:00

Women have a really complicated way of describing thier biological instincts. It's like they don't understand it themselves. In order for a woman to have an emotional connection in the way they describe... To have sex there needs to be attraction physical attraction.

Were all animals following our instincts there's nothing special about attraction it's the same in us as it is in all mammals. The way the body is animated..... 🙄 What a load of crap.

And that's just it they keep feeding themselves and regurgitating this load of crap... Chemistry, connection, spark..... What a load of crap...

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AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-18T13:48:46+00:00

I like my husband’s body. I’ve found men that I have been in relationships with sexually attractive. But no, I don’t get turned on just by seeing a random naked man. I might agree that he has a nice body, or I might find it kind of a turnoff if he doesn’t, but just seeing a naked man doesn’t do it for me. A naked man who I am intimate with however can be very sexy indeed.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2022-10-18T16:26:29+00:00

Women are totally attracted to beautiful bodies. But that attraction is in conversation with their feelings in relation to subtler aspects of personality like voice-tone, posture, language, smell and touch, Men tend to focus on a smaller part of women -- the visual form, while women take in a bigger picture.

As for the rest, try meditating or exercising, and get over the absurd jealousy/comparisons. Get out of your head, and back into your body and feelings.

Custard-Gyal · 2022-10-18T16:48:30+00:00

I am SO visually stimulated. Love seeing shirtless hairy af men in movies or around

Ok_Chicken3237 · 2022-10-18T17:07:29+00:00

I’m attracted to attractive men, and not attracted to unattractive men. Most unattractive men think they’re way more attractive than they are, and most attractive men highly underestimate how attractive they are.

That’s not to say people are only hot when they don’t know they’re hot. Taking men on this sub for example, so many of the ones that post red pill/incel nonsense are beyond ugly (I don’t have to see them to tell), but they act like they’re gods gift because they “make money” or “have status”. What??? Huh???? No.

zew-kini · 2022-10-18T17:16:12+00:00

Bi woman here - I have personally never been turned on by anyone's looks, initially. I have always become attracted to someone's personality. The more we laugh together, the more we gel, the closer we get, the more beautiful a body becomes to me.

I've dated big people, slim people, tall people, short people, bald people, people who are conventionally very attractive and conventionally less attractive - each one of them have had to BECOME beautiful to me.

My life partner happens to be conventionally GQ model hot, but what made me fall for him was our shared sense of humor, interests, how kind he is, how generous, how loving and gentle he is. This is what makes me want him. If he was none of these things I don't think I would have noticed him in the same way.

Effective_Elk_4719 · 2022-10-18T17:28:02+00:00

Hit the gym bro and gain some muscle and learn to dress your best and work on your grooming. Figure out the fastest way to get the highest fat free mass index. Guaranteed you will get more female sexual attention. Yes, women are attracted to men's physiques and looks. They just get so much attention from guys that they have way more options so the average guy becomes less appealing. What women say and do are often totally separate things. They don't want to appear shallow or vain so they say they aren't as into looks but they are. Create a fake dating profile of a jacked handsome guy and another one of yourself and note the amount of likes/matches you get with each. You'll find out pretty quickly.

2022-10-18T17:53:11+00:00

only if i know and like the guy.

if hes a stranger its disgusting.

GalaxyBrainU · 2022-10-18T18:25:08+00:00

Fact of the matter is, no one is really attracted to the anatomical body simply because of its beauty, men and women included. If we were simply attracted to aesthetic beauty, we would be having a lot more sex with inanimate things, like cars or houses. People are attracted to what they believe a body can give you on a primal level.

A woman’s attraction to a man’s bodies often comes subconsciously because of what they believe they can get from someone with that body. If a man is ripped, strong, and healthy looking, it means he works hard and on some level is capable to be a provider and protector, and a woman is attracted to this because she will receive his seed and her children will have the dna and genetics to also grow up strong.

On the other side, men are attracted to large breasts and a fit woman because he is going to give her his seed and he wants a woman who can produce strong healthy heirs. It sounds ridiculous but on a subconscious, primal level, that’s really what we care about when we see a physically attractive person.

Since the primary reason for sex is procreation, we are programmed to subconsciously look for and be attracted to qualities that further procreation. The fact that it feels good is secondary on a biological level whether we like it or not.

Monkebizniss · 2022-10-18T18:52:31+00:00

Women are, generally speaking, less visually-oriented in their sexuality; that doesn’t mean they aren’t just as aroused as you. Personally, I take it as a fucking blessing that I basically know my girlfriend isn’t jilling off to pictures of other dudes; few women get to say that about their men.

If you want to turn on your partner, whisper in her ear or use the power of touch. Women love that stuff. But if being visually oriented is necessary for you, don’t worry, there are plenty of women who like naked pics of men. Just know, that can be a double-edged sword. Men are probably more promiscuous than women because we’re so easily enticed by physical beauty and that can often overpower an emotional connection. If your partner primarily likes you for your body, there are plenty of other (and probably more attractive) men who can also fill that role.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-10-18T19:11:23+00:00

Yes. But I doubt I feel it as easy as men do. Men seem to be aroused by damn near every women they see. That being said, absolutely. Nice arms…. That V right on their pelvis (weak spot for that, I see a nice one, I wanna run my tongue all over it), yea I definitely do. It’s just not as much as men do. But I’ve def felt lust looking at a man before.

ClaraBow01 · 2022-10-18T19:23:46+00:00

I’m visually stimulated by parts of the body. Shoulders, collarbone, eyes, waist, dare I say, butt. I think less is more. A guy whose sleeve hangs off his elbow than a guy who is half naked or fully naked.

DysfunctionalKitten · 2022-10-18T19:26:25+00:00

Who wants to explain “responsive desire” vs. “spontaneous desire” and how more than 85% of women experience only responsive desire and how more than 85% of men can experience spontaneous desire? OP, googling those two ways that desire is formed and the difference between them, would be a good place for you to start gaining a more thorough understanding of how most women’s experience of arousal differs from yours. It’s a consequence of your body producing a certain level of testosterone, and most women’s bodies not having the same capability.

Poly_frolicher · 2022-10-18T19:54:10+00:00

I get more visually stimulated by a man after we’re together a while. Just to see a sexy man Is Pleasant, but not stimulating. A man I know is a good lover is much more likely to stimulate me just by seeing him, because I already know I want him.

learn2earn89 · 2022-10-18T19:54:48+00:00

I’ve never gotten a lady “boner” by seeing a naked guy or even a shirtless man. For me, face and frame are very important, from there, if I can picture myself cuddling, holding hands, caressing his hair, and kissing him—that tells me I’m sexually attracted to him, but I’ve never gotten a “hard-on” by just looking at a guy. I’m a bit lower libido than most women though so take my comment with a grain of salt.

sew1tseams · 2022-10-18T20:31:06+00:00

I agree with whoever said that watching a man move and move well makes him 100000x more attractive - I will ogle all day if a man is well muscled and is coordinated.

I also become more likely to appreciate a man’s body if I already associate him with good sex. Like, I love the divot where the shoulders and chest comes together but I’ll only be really staring if I already have slept with and want to sleep with that person

doggiedoc2004 · 2022-10-18T20:39:07+00:00

Very visually attracted to my husband and to males with a fit, well manscaped body. Some hair is fine. Just no jungle. I find lean to moderate musculature enticing.

A key point to physical, visual desire in women: be well groomed with good hygiene. Ideally somewhat fit although a lot of us are ok with "dad bods"

anon018274031 · 2022-10-18T20:51:11+00:00

I’m not attracted to photos at all.

But the animated person, their smile, the way they hold themselves etc can make their body very attractive

Simplysalted · 2022-10-18T21:25:58+00:00

You should read Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski, its female centric but is one of the only evidence based sexual psychology book that exist. Women and men experience attraction differently, GENERALLY, she uses a car analogy which I find describes it nicely. I read it as a dude and liked it

AngelxEyez · 2022-10-18T22:09:13+00:00

sure I can tell if a guy is physically attractive but I’m not sexually attracted to photos. how he embodies his physical form is sexually attractive. his mannerisms and such

RomanDelvius · 2022-10-19T01:35:17+00:00

I'm a guy so I can't speak for women, I just want to let you know OP that I totally get your concern and have lamented it myself.

I have a beautiful GF and we're in a loving relationship. Still, I frequent this sub and others like it to see what today's people are dealing with in terms of dating and relationships etc. Needless to say, the picture painted for me is pretty hellish and I'm glad I'm not in the game anymore.

I do wish more men would be attractive to women just on the basis of what they are rather than something they "have to prove" -- unfortunately, as some women here have noted, most women aren't wired that way. Young men will just have to either accept that or land themselves a woman who is crazy about their bodies.

Best of luck to you.

2022-10-19T01:50:36+00:00

I generally need an emotional connection to actually want to have sex with someone, but I am visually driven. I find certain things as sexually appealing, but for me to actually engage in sex with someone, there is more involved than just wanting to fuck their body. I don’t wanna just fuck their body, I wanna fuck their entire being. I also have a high sex drive and am very sexually open and have a healthy view of sex. Some people are not as comfortable with being sexual, so they suppress it or are not as sexually inclined as others may be. Libido and sex drive are definitely on a spectrum. So, find someone with a compatible sex drive. Sex is very important to me in a relationship so I do make it a priority. All people are unique so to generalize “women aren’t visual” isn’t accurate. Find one who you feel is compatible with you and your sexual needs. Also, keep in mind you’re a younger man. Women reach sexual peak in their 30s.

More_Internal_9892 · 2022-10-19T02:23:29+00:00

Some men are visually stimulating, yes. That’s the… shirt off, slow mo, six packed, Christian Grey type of look walking towards you in the movies type of guy. It’ll make you go “GOD DAMN” stop you in your tracks and get you a little tingly down there, for sure.

Besides that — we need to feel safe and have built up an emotional connection first. (Think: some sort of vulnerability besides intimacy). Then comes the fire play: y’all miss this one frequently lol. Anything hearing a man’s voice or soft, subtle touches is >>>>>>>

Then sex.

carritotaquito · 2022-10-19T04:01:10+00:00

I'm super visual and have spontaneous desire.

I'm 99% sure most (if not all other) women are as visual too.

It's just that due to social conditioning BS of the past 300 years (the time when society began parroting women don't have sexual desires), these claims had been parroted around.

xcheshirecatxx · 2022-10-19T05:04:18+00:00

I will answer as a pan woman

Boobs are nice. Faces are nice. Asses are nice

But I couldn't care less about abs and pecs. I just don't like fat

I couldn't care less about Henry Cavill until knowing he was a nerd and his role in the witcher is .... I need to sleep so I won't go down that rabbit hole

But I even find him too bulky in the witcher. It's the long hair and the general médiéval dark humour attitude thing that gets me wet. He was boringly American ideal as superman

But women... Women curves are amazing by themselves. I draw them, I will look twice for a random good looking woman

I masturbate to lesbian porn

I add a woman in my mind when my male partner gives me oral

So yeah, women are visually more interesting by just plain appearance.

We like men for their attitude more than their body for sure

lachicarica · 2022-10-19T07:35:08+00:00

Apparently I’m weird because I find the male body very attractive but I have noticed that most women around me don’t haha. Like they’ll say that they find dicks disgusting and shit and I just play along since I in reality don’t feel the same but yk it is what it is lol

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-10-19T11:04:33+00:00

Most people are some combination, and that's fine—his system accounts for that. People can be 30% mesomorph, 50% endomorph, and 20% ectomorph

So, I already like only 1/5 men because the rest does not have the body type I like. Add the height as well, resulting that few men can physically ignite lust for me

connoisseurofcoitus · 2022-10-19T11:16:03+00:00

It's the person inside the skull that makes the body desirable.

Arouse the mind and the rest will follow.

For the most part, I like (fetishize) visuals that match general traits of people who've been kind to me, and/or good lovers in the past. Problem is, most guys seem to get their entire sexual technique from pron, not seeming to understand that it's all based on what guys want to see, and never based on how to pleasure a woman.

I can't comprehend why visuals would be important to me because if he's doing me right, my eyes are gonna either be closed, or rolled back into my head.

Guys who wasn't to be seen, and objectified typically offer nothing else. They're all sparkle, and no substance. I'm not saying that those things can't come in the same package, but it's rare.

Now women put in twice as much effort as an average guy. It's not unusual to find a woman who's cultivated a personality, and put effort into her appearance. Guys tend to make their appearance (or their bank account) their personality, and those aren't people I want to be physically vulnerable around. Those guys tend to be scary.

Not always the case, but more often than I'd like.

Visuals can be deceptive, and I tend to want to sleep with people I feel safe around. Getting to know the person is a turn on, and once I find myself into the person the physical (visual) attraction comes after.

The fun part is, when I find myself visually attracted to someone, it's not the male fantasy of "manliness." It's usually what most guys would consider "unattractive," or "below average." Like comic book characters. The feminine characters are created based on what guys want to look at, and the masculine characters are generally based on who guys want to be. They've never been based on what women find attractive, because we're usually into personality and guys don't seem to understand that at all.

ObviouslyAnAltAct · 2022-10-19T14:56:21+00:00

Very few women, despite what they might tell you, can be sti ulates by the male body. They require a holistic examination. It suck, but that's just nature. It's another reason why online dating absolutely sucks for men.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-19T21:05:40+00:00

I have never agreed to date or fuck someone unless I found their body and personality both sexy as fuck.

IcarusKiki · 2022-10-20T07:14:07+00:00

It's hard to describe idk

rilakkumkum · 2022-12-02T02:09:54+00:00

Nope, I’m suuuuuper into visuals. I wanna see it all. Shoulders, thighs, and butt are very sexually stimulating for me

SnuffleMuffins18 · 2023-03-07T21:06:39+00:00

As a straight male, this is exactly how I feel! I always get depressed about this because men want to feel sexy and desirable, but yet we're told our bodies don't arouse women. Why are things like this? If men naturally want to feel desirable for their bodies then why aren't women aroused by our bodies? This doesn't make any sense! Aren't things in nature known to thrive and work well with each other not against each other? because men's desires seem to be conflicting with our biology. If men have a desire to be desired the same way women have a desire to be desired and feel sexy, then wouldn't it make more sense if women and men were attracted to each other just as much and in the same way? All of this just doesn't make sense! And on top of that men have to constantly deal with all this pent up sexual energy. It really gets depressing overtime because due to the imbalance in attraction between men and women, most of the sexual lust and attraction a man experiences toward the opposite sex will be completely one-sided. So not only are we stuck feeling all this pent up sexual energy, but we also don't get to feel sexy or desirable. This is a horrible combination and I hate feeling this way! Why were we created this way? Who the hell thought that, when creating humans, it would be a good idea to make one sex desire the opposite sex a lot more but then give both sexes a desire to be desired. It's so f*cked up for men with how this whole attraction thing works!

It's like I want to be desired! I want to feel sexy! I want to be able to arouse women with my body! But guess what?!! That's unattainable for me because I'm a male and women just don't get visually aroused by us. It hurts and it sucks! Why do things have to be like this? This doesn't make any sense!

Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies?

Comments

OH YES!!!!

Title	Women who sexually like men, are you personally not that visually stimulated by our bodies?
Author	sardonic_fish
Upvotes	62
Comments	328
Date	October 18, 2022 10:36 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y73eqb/women_who_sexually_like_men_are_you_personally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-who-sexually-like-men-are-you-personally-not.1135946 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135946