Women (most of the time) are REPULSED by inexperienced men.

ratboi34 · 2023-09-07T23:06:51+00:00

Yes, I can confirm. For many women that's true, especially when it comes to sexual experience. Lost my virginity pretty late and felt an obligation to tell women, that I'm a virgin when they started asking about my dating history. Usually received a message after revealing that about how we are not compatible, but I could also sense in the moment, that they didn't like it. Probably made them think something is wrong with me and they felt an ick. Gladly, I was never really insecure about it and kept dating. The women that rejected me usually were women with average dating experience. When I started dating a virgin and shortly after a woman, that had only been with one guy before me, they actually kind of seemed to be more tolerant and one of them maybe even relieved about my inexperience.

Lovers691 · 2023-09-07T21:58:39+00:00

If you are attractive, women won’t care and would be fine teaching you how to be sexual.

bruhminer · 2023-09-07T23:04:26+00:00

Nah, it in the end it still all comes down to whether or not you're attractive, if you're hot they'll think it's "cute" that you're a virgin.

But none of this really matters, you don't need to tell a woman you're inexperienced the first time you meet her and no, they can't "just smell it". Stop giving women this mythical status of shamans that can just peer into your soul the moment they see you, they don't know shit about fuck, stop it. Just lie whenever you have to and as long as you behave normally they wont have any reason to doubt anything.

albertandmabel · 2023-09-07T23:37:09+00:00

No offense to experienced men but I’d be repulsed by them lol

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2023-09-07T22:22:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Bekiala · 2023-09-07T23:25:31+00:00

I'm more repulsed by guys with STIs.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-09-07T23:44:38+00:00

I disagree that they can “smell it a mile away”.

If a dude sucks at sex they’ll just assume he sucks, not that he’s not done this before. Most virgins partners had no idea this was their first time

januaryphilosopher · 2023-09-08T05:47:25+00:00

This is generally true of experienced women. They tend to want someone similar who doesn't have a completely different experience of relationships to them. If that's your type it's okay, but women who aren't your type still exist and generally aren't thrilled with a man who's been around. (Social skills, by the way, don't need to be learned through romantic relationships. And a woman who has been in few or no romantic encounters is unlikely to involve you in anything too complicated you might need experience to understand as she wouldn't have those skills either.)

WinchesterSXP · 2023-09-07T21:30:12+00:00

any man still reading "signals" is destined for a bad time these days.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-09-07T23:30:35+00:00

They're repulsed by unattractive men (who, not surprisingly, are inexperienced).

Take a hot guy 26y/o, have him tell a girl he's a virgin and she'll laugh in disbelief.

Have a nice story about it and she'll be thrilled to be your first.

Q.E.D

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-08T01:02:47+00:00

I'm repulsed by fuckbois and creeps.

Most male virgins aren't a problem. The ones who are angry about it and have a bad attitude are a problem.

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No-Neighborhood-5851 · 2023-09-08T18:04:31+00:00

I've experienced this first hand. While I know that not every woman out there hates virgins or inexperienced men, women as a whole, even ones who like inexperienced men and think the stigma is unfair, aren't going to criticize women who virgin-shame men. This is especially true for Millennial and Zoomer women (from my experience, it's mainly Gen X and older women who will call out other women who virgin shame or place a huge emphasis on experienced men.)

This is why I just lie now, until I get enough experience. It's not my fault that I had to miss out on a lot of those experiences during my formative years, and didn't get to work on those prized social skills like all the other normal kids. As far as I'm concerned, nobody deserves the truth.

jeanironplate · 2023-09-09T07:22:34+00:00

Only men think this. Where do you get this idea, porn? To women, this is the stupidest post ever. Most of us are repulsed by "experienced" men. No one wants to be jealous of your ex-girlfriend. Most women just deal with it because virgins guys are so rare it's not a realistic option. I've had so many friends have mental breakdowns because the guy she likes isn't a virgin, but what are they going to do? Get a virgin bf? Lol where?

potoricco · 2023-09-07T21:25:38+00:00

I'm attracted to them. I don't like manwhores

bigapple4am · 2023-09-08T01:14:31+00:00

Nope, its the clingy-ness of most virgins that suck.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-09-07T21:27:49+00:00

Disagree and here is why.

Healthy people recognize not everyone is in the same spot. Also for a man to have this experience it means he has had to been through some things, this can be a catch 22. It’s far easier to get a guy who has some experience but “the willingness to learn” that’s far more valuable.

Think of it like football. Do you want the experienced but soon to be retired QB or do you want the guy who was a high round draft pick with a shit load of potential and good mindset.

One is far better for a long future together. Healthy competent women see that.

LovelyFireCracker · 2023-09-07T21:40:25+00:00

You're thinking too deeply on this. It's not inexperience that is a turn off. It's lack of self-confidence, which is not to be confused with arrogance. If you can be comfortable in your own skin and just be yourself with no concern of what people think of you, it will go a long way. Also, someone who can laugh and not take things so seriously.

Overanalyzing this is only going to make it more awkward and uncomfortable for everyone.

controllrevival · 2023-09-08T00:59:24+00:00

I get what you mean, but you can fake it until you make it. Be confident through hobbies, skills and progress and women will see your confidence as attractive.

Home_Ski11et_Biscuit · 2023-09-08T08:21:13+00:00

No I think it’s because the man is unattractive and in this day, less attractive men are more likely to be more inexperienced.

Economy-House171 · 2023-09-08T12:52:45+00:00

This is entirely subjective, to me nothing is more attractive then a inexperienced man. I want to be his first everything just like I'll be his first.

OnePotatoeChip · 2023-09-08T20:33:54+00:00

I dunno, dude. I think it's something else that's repulsing them. Lost my card pretty late, but that's not to say I didn't have opportunities. I think the biggest factor that led me to cashing it in was that I was able to just speak with women in the environment. Laughing, joking and just being present. Before you know it, there was a group chat made and then one of them started texting me separately. Rest was history.

We dated for a little bit after going through the FWB period, and she admitted that she had no clue that I had been inexperienced before she came along. She had even thought I was lying initially when I told her.

Anecdote, of course, but I think attitude and overall demeanor is what might be putting a lot of ladies off more often than not.

And, nah, I'm no Tyrone.

gramcaseceo · 2023-09-08T22:57:12+00:00

They are "disgusted" because of lack of preselection not inexperience. Of course, they themselves don't understand why.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-07T21:53:18+00:00

I've actually had to rethink my stance on this topic. I think if I met someone who was attractive enough and had enough in common with them and maybe I am feeling a bit manic I might take a chance on them. I am not entirely sure if its a good idea though.

permiecandy · 2023-09-08T06:51:15+00:00

I think this is bullshit. Lol I've never minded inexperienced guys at all.. Actually prefer them, honestly. I would much rather teach an inexperienced guy than deal with idiots that think they already know everything there is to know about my anatomy. Sex us also a learned behavior. No 2 women are the same. Some love being eaten out, some hate the feel of a tongue on their vulva. Some women love and need clitoral stimulation, others hate it and just want you to hurry up. Some women want the guy done within 15-20 minutes, while others love making love for hours. How TF can you possibly know which kind of girl you are sleeping with in order to please her unless she tells you what she likes and wants from you?

My husband's only been with 3 people and me, too. He's the best lover I've ever had... And the quality that makes him so different from anyone I've dated or had sex with was that he gives a shit. He listens to me. Listens to what I want and like, pays attention to things that make me moan and etc. He's willing to try things with me. He wants to fulfill my fantasies and give me what I need to get off. And he's had to learn these things by being with me.

I had a guy that had slept around a lot and he was a horrible lover. Not one orgasm for me. Ever. He was an asshole and I hated myself for giving him a chance when I knew better. I still hate myself for that, every single day of my life. Everybody was telling me that I was being judgmental and picky, because I didn't want to date man whores, so I am like, okay fine. Met this guy and he was educated and looked impressive on paper. We had similar background and stuff and so we start dating, he told me he had been married 3 times and hinted that he'd been with numerous women. So, I just swallowed my pride and tried really hard to look past this and give him the benefit of the doubt and focus on his good qualities, but my intuition was screaming at me to run for the hills. He hadn't done anything bad to me... Yet...

It ended up being the absolute worst relationship experience of my life with any man I've ever known, whether I've had sex with them or not. He was just awful. Terrible person. And he was the guy that took my virginity.. Because he TOOK it from me against my will. I was too young and stupid to process everything that happened with that relationship and he traumatized me and abused me so bad. He was also the worst person, let alone lover. Didn't do anything to get me off. All about him. No wonder he was married 3 times... 4 after me... Because I didn't have sex with him til we were married... Did a complete 180 on me after marriage and turned into the worst asshole ever.

I didn't date for 10 years after that! 2nd guy ended up being gay... Better lover than Mr experienced, I received one orgasm from him. Lol and I was the only woman he'd ever been with! 🤣 That lasted 4 years until I discovered a bunch of things (like that he was gay, for example.. I'm literally unequipped to give him what he needed, lol) and we went our separate ways.

And my husband... He always does whatever it takes to get me off, because he cares and loves me. It's really that simple. If you give a shit, then that makes all the difference.

Also, I'm grossed out by guys with huge body counts and find it as a huge red flag. I always have. My personal experience has taught me that my instincts are right. So, were I single now, if some dude came up to me and we managed to be flirty and start talking about sex and he said his body count was more than like 10 people, I'd cringe on the inside and any interest I may have ever had in him would just go out the window. I'd friend zone that dude so fast, his head would spin. It's an absolute turn off.

My husband's about 8.5 years younger than me, and we're happy. I've had a lot of therapy and have grown a lot and he's a really amazing person. I'm treated with respect and love and the sex is really awesome. I am happy he has a low body count and that he was so willing to learn how to make ME happy, because that's all that matters, since we're married. We're still learning thing even after almost 5 years! Love it xD

Nothing would annoy me more than a guy wanting to have sex with me and just going to town without any input from me.. Slow the fuck down, Seabiscuit! Lol I get it the first couple of times due to unfamiliarity, but after that, you should start communicating things you enjoy aka instructing each other. How else are you going to get what you need?.. Not just sexually, but out of your relationship?... Relationships as a whole are a never ending learning process. Learning how to work together, how to make your partner happy, what they like and don't like- to eat, to drink, scents, sex, etc.. It's all connected. You cannot escape learning and teaching each other. It's just part of being a couple. 🤷🏻‍♀️

MateriallyDetatched · 2023-09-08T03:00:08+00:00

Correction: Women with exponentially more "experience" than you are turned-off from "inexperience."

Sort of like the first girl I ever kissed refusing to have sex until I lost my virginity to someone else. Not suprisingly, she's a hoe who can't hold down a relationship without it imploding.

Jason_Kinkade · 2023-09-08T04:18:59+00:00

I've told more than a couple of women that I'm a virgin (I'm not) just to see how they'd react. The first time was during COVID, and I didn't want to meet her until we had the vaccines. I blurted it out during a video strip tease, and she immediately sent me a Fleshlight. She then teased that I'd be happier with the "real thing" after our jabs. More recently, one woman gave me a high five, and the other woman said, "I love that," and joked we should have sex in her car. I've also set up other social experiments for my amusement, like wearing tighty whities before our clothes come off, and the women always act baffled, laugh, and move on. I'm an unexceptional 41yo man who dates attractive women both younger to slightly older. This is my lived experience. 🤷‍♂️

EsotericRonin · 2023-09-08T06:02:59+00:00

Just seems like projecting to me. I promise you most women do not care. Confidence and willing to learn is the most important thing. And no, you don't have to have sex to have confidence around women. My confidence level did not change before or after losing my virginity years ago, I still get nervous sometimes lol.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-09-08T00:59:38+00:00

Inexperience, hunter gatherer man will not be able to keep the kids alive. Do not have sex with him because there is no birth control in hunter gatherer world.

A woman risks too much with childbirth and raising small children to take a chance on getting pregnant from an immature man.

Her instincts about when to flirt with a man and when to have sex and when to seek commitment from a man and when to commit to a man are all coming from the hunter gatherer situation of the last 200,000 years.

I don’t think our instincts have even adapted to agriculture existing. That is why we are dying of diabetes..

Our instincts definitely do not know about the existence of birth control, and about the existence of the Internet.

considering how crucial of a decision hunter gatherer woman was making when she decided to let a man fuck her I am surprised that women are willing to have casual sex at all.

Safinated · 2023-09-08T00:45:15+00:00

We don’t care about numbers, lol. It’s how you conduct yourself

baresquad · 2023-09-07T21:35:48+00:00

Yeah, experience matters and I think it goes both ways. I’m repulsed by inexperienced women.

Like why is it become my burden to teach someone how to date and have sex? On top of that, you have to deal with the ramifications of them being ignorant to basic things. Inexperienced people get confused over the smallest things which typically results in conflict. Surely their mindset makes sense if you can apply it to your own life.

And yes, flirting, reading signals, being smith etc. takes practice but what’s stopping you? We’ve all been inexperienced at some point, there’s no excuse why others are able to put in the work while others flat out refuse to.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-09-07T21:36:14+00:00

Yeah, that’s all true. But hey, life’s not fair.

Hubris1998 · 2023-09-07T23:34:14+00:00

I hate it so much 😭

Generally_Confused1 · 2023-09-07T23:51:41+00:00

Well, experience generally improves your skills in things no? You get used to talking to people and seeing how it goes. The more you work on your social skills and try to improve, the better you get of course. So you learn. It's also good to learn how to navigate an LTR. But that doesn't disqualify inexperienced guys, they can have plenty of chances and that's how you get experience. And if someone actually likes you, it doesn't really matter. Also experience can help with sex but just because a guy is experienced, it doesn't mean he's good. It's about effort and wanting to learn and share a good experience with them, that's what's important.

WYenginerdWY · 2023-09-08T04:21:14+00:00

I'm repulsed by arrogant men who've fucked everyone in a fifty mile radius. So, no. In a battle over the two, I'd take the inexperienced one each time (all other things equal).

PhantasmicParacosm · 2023-09-08T04:25:06+00:00

Correct. Not much you can do about it but try and try again until you find someone who is willing. My advice: develop yourself. Try to be someone of upstanding character. A kind, respectful person. These things go a long way in dating and relationships. Who knows, maybe your personality will shine through and someone will appreciate it enough to give you a chance.

tiddermacss · 2023-09-07T23:36:40+00:00

yeah and yet when employers use the same rational ppl get offended lmao..

CombinationMore4630 · 2023-09-07T23:09:37+00:00

Nobody wants to have to teach stuff... And that's ok.

Tbh when I was single I never wanted to fuck any virgins either. Like I don't want to have to teach her how to do it...

That's stuff you do in your teens

NationalistGoy · 2023-09-08T03:38:09+00:00

Orgasms are already difficult to come by for women, so I suspect most women would rather be with a man who can help them reach the big O, rather than a guy who doesn't know wtf he is doing.

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2023-09-08T07:27:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

RepresentativeBook62 · 2023-09-08T04:49:57+00:00

So GET EXPERIENCED!!!

Jesus Christ Gentlemen! Listen to me please. I am not bull shitting you I promise!

ALL you have to do is make a solid commitment to yourself that you will get good with women.

For one solid year put everything aside except your job. Screw your male friends. They wont help you!

When you aren't working. You need to be out in a bar or a club or a grill out or a party. You need to get out of the god damn house. I oromisenyou 5 to 8 pm in a bar near you tons of women are out there waiting to meet a guy like you. Then more from 10 to 12am.

You need to learn to hate sitting alone or playing COD or whatever.

You need to abandon that OLD shit and really commit!

There are thousands of great women out there if you would just go LOOK!!!

Put the stats and the politicized identity BS out of your head. Forget about hypergamy or divorce rates or all the horrible shit women can do to men.

Go out and just say hello! Comoliment them sincerely on their makeup or their hair or their perfume or their dress or how good they look in a pair of tight jeans or their smile!

Just look around and find a girl who is pretty to you and spot something about her that you like. Walk up and say

"Hi, I only have a minute, I just wanted to tell you that I saw XYZ about you and I thought it was really nice."

By saying you only have a moment you are indicating you won't overstay your welcome. Guess what? She won't think you are a creep now!

That's it! Just start there. Do that over and over again with dozens or even hundreds of women. Real quick you will learn that you aren't so ugly. You aren't so poor. Aren't so whatever. That women can and wi respond positively to you. You will FEEL GOOD.

If you really feel you are too ugly or too neuro divergent to do the simple social task of delivering a sincere compliment. Then there is no hope for you at all.

Start there.

pop442 · 2023-09-07T23:33:04+00:00

There's truth to this.

But, at the same time, there's a major orgasm gap between men and women which explains the phenomenon.

So, it's not even a bias thing as much as it is a human nature thing. If women could have orgasms as easily as men, they'd be more willing to overlook a man's lack of experience.

Welllarmedhippie · 2023-09-08T01:10:15+00:00

What makes a man inexperienced?

RubyDiscus · 2023-09-08T10:38:40+00:00

I agree that unexperienced men are less attractive to date. Though if they want experience and no one will date them they can just hire an escort. They will teach ya

PrinPadure1994 · 2023-09-08T11:32:29+00:00

It's not about experience in dating, it's about being able to listen to a person and connect with them. You don't learn that solely by dating, you learn it from all kinds of relationships, from family to friends, colleagues and co-workers.

If you're frustrated that women didn't teach you how to listen and communicate, you're completely missing the point. It's not about rizz, it's about empathy.

Authenticity and self-awareness is another important point. And that's entirely up to you. It's not the responsibility of women in your life.

badgersonice · 2023-09-08T14:20:39+00:00

It doesn’t matter what “most” women want. It matters what the women you want to be with want.

In my case, I was glad that we both got to have our firsts together, and that sex with each other was very special to us. Him being inexperienced was a positive to me, because I was inexperienced too. I especially didn’t want a guy who’d been run through already, was already stuck in his own ways, or who would “teach me” without listening or letting me figure things out myself because “other women liked it this way, what’s wrong with you”.

And besides, men boosting their n-count is mostly just about their own egos and validation. Most women don’t have the weird obsession with numbers that dudes do when it comes to sex.

The nuances of flirting, reading signals, being smooth effortless,etc. That takes years of prime training

I don’t know if you know this, but being flirtatious, charming, and socially adroit does not actually require taking off your pants.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-09-08T17:27:18+00:00

Only half true. If you have a great attitude and are emotionally mature and intellectually interesting, you can find an older woman who will happily teach you all kinds of things

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-09-08T04:11:17+00:00

This is completely bizarre. No, women don’t care if you’re experienced. Women aren’t cars. You don’t need to “know your way around us.” You DO need to be comfortable with women and understand female anatomy. Sleeping with women won’t make that happen. Learning will.

FedericoGibson38 · 2023-09-08T03:48:52+00:00

Out of all the languages you could of spoken you spoke facts. I am a fan 👍

harmonica2 · 2023-09-08T01:05:06+00:00

So since women say that sexually inexperienced guys are terrible in bed, how many women would that guy have to go through to get enough practice on average, if that's the case?

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-09-08T06:11:15+00:00

They definitely are. In same time you don't have to tell the truth especially if she didn't ask you. Bad experience is experience too, you might just not want to talk about it.

domdomdom333 · 2023-09-08T08:36:54+00:00

Can't comment if women prefer very experienced men as that must mean he's slept around a lot but also in my experience women being turned off and getting the ick when they find out you're inexperienced is a huge deal breaker in many cases. Admitting that you're inexperienced, even avoiding the topic or hinting at it has always ended the conversation right there and then, no matter how well it was going. And you'd always would have thought that this would be a positive thing, a clean slate...

It's like that getting a job loop. Can't get experience cause you've never been in a relationship but can't get into a relationship because you've no experience and no one can be bothered to go through the novelty and teaching phase again.

meanas9 · 2023-09-08T09:01:38+00:00

There are also a lot of men who are not attracted to inexperience girls/women, myself included. It's not so easy to enjoy yourself and sex if the 'other' part involved is blocked or hindered by inexperience to express themselves or is kinda behaving like a starfish.

I'd always prefer a sexual active woman than a "virgin".

Nirv127 · 2023-09-08T10:09:56+00:00

I think it really depends on the context?

For example, if a guy talks a big game and hypes up an intimate encounter, then just fumbles about and tries to put on an act like they know what they're doing, thats a bit icky. Inexperience isn't something anyone would look for in an impulsive or one night stand kinda deal because it's a selfish kinda mutual agreement.

However, if someone openly admits they're not too experienced - or if it's been a while - that's something we can both work with. More communication from both parties to ensure that we can please each other and enjoy it.

Granted, that kind of exchange does require more of an open and honest relationship with eachother - but its not repulsive to want to learn and improve ya shagging skills. It's more repulsive to find out someone is lying about it while you're getting intimate.

AreOut · 2023-09-08T11:02:05+00:00

women aren't repulsed by inexperience, they are repulsed by what resulted in inexperience (low social/emotional IQ or however it is called)

stereoroid · 2023-09-08T15:51:30+00:00

OK, and what’s the cure for inexperience? Someone’s going to have to bite the bullet and help those guys get the experience. Or would you rather all chase the same small pool of guys who get all the experience… and who have all the options?

That’s how women end up single at 33, asking “where did all the good men go?” They were there all the time, you just rejected them because they lacked experience.

_here_ok · 2023-09-08T23:56:50+00:00

I don't think it's experience but just the idea of compensation. People in general hate the idea of compensating anything because we want things a specific way.

If people for example want pleasurable sex right away. They tend to not want to put in the effort of teaching their partner or making sure a partner is comfortable.

Many people also tend to think of compensating as settling so that might increase the dissatisfaction of a situation. When building up for something you are compensating until you get what you want. When you are settling you are done, you choose what you are left with.

VoltairesBarista · 2023-09-09T08:39:20+00:00

Why are you so angry bro

Ok-Ad-6744 · 2023-09-09T15:03:01+00:00

I can't have sex simply based off of principle either I get married lose it that way or I don't. Iron will

SpiritualHelp2022 · 2023-09-09T15:52:41+00:00

Yes and no. Depends on the girl and guy, plus the nature of the relationship. I think for a lot of guys "lack of experience" is a huge insecurity and women are not attracted to insecurities since women want a guy who's stronger than them, especially emotionally and spiritually. Best thing to do is not tell them until they bring it up, and when you do just say "yeah I was working on myself." Basically frame it like you're applying for a job and trying to explain the gap in your working years.

ambrosedc · 2023-09-10T04:25:32+00:00

Looot of assumptions in this post. I guess I'd be more likely to take you at your word if you yourself were a woman, but even then, everyone is different. Women are not a hivemind.

Title	Women (most of the time) are REPULSED by inexperienced men.
Author	Vegetable-Rub3418
Upvotes	152
Comments	491
Date	September 7, 2023 9:21 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16cqw2r/women_most_of_the_time_are_repulsed_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-most-of-the-time-are-repulsed-by.1231331 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231331

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