Women, what's something (behaviour, presentation, expression) seen as traditionally masculine that gives you the ick? Men, what's something seen as traditionally feminine that gives you the ick?

19whale96 · 2024-04-21T16:38:32+00:00

Self-infantilization as a response to problems or stress. If it's a fetish I usually won't judge, but if your actual response to real life problems is "I'm baby!", then I really don't like you as a person.

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-21T13:14:08+00:00

The only two that leaps immediately to mind is:

Telling me what i want like they know better than me and or feel equipped to try to domineer me. Immediate gross out.
Acting like they're better than me at all things because they're a man.

HotOutcome9161 · 2024-04-21T10:44:52+00:00

getting agressive/ angry over small things. It‘s pathetic

spaffjizz · 2024-04-21T10:43:28+00:00

I'm not a huge fan of lots of body hair. Also being tolerant of high volumes of alcohol/drugs.

Also I eat and enjoy meat, but there's this wierd idea that consuming loads makes you masculine - and I just find that icky.

Devilishz3 · 2024-04-21T13:24:58+00:00

Extreme helplessness, gossiping behind someone's back, materialism (there's liking nice things which happen to be expensive and liking expensive things), if she ever says "A man is this".

The latter 3 get a visceral reaction from me. I never think of them the same after.

KamuiObito · 2024-04-21T13:39:21+00:00

Being dependent is an ick of mines. Im not youre father and dont want to resemble it or an older brother. Im not your fuck in handler youre a grown adult before even a women in my eyes.

spanglesandbambi · 2024-04-21T10:33:24+00:00

Not expressing their emotions, relationships don't work unless you behave like a human. Humans cry, get angry and upset no one should feel they can't do these things to be a man or whatever.

I would have been pissed if my husband hadn't gotten upset when our child got sick and landed in the hospital (baby is doing good, just got an infection).

BeneficialTop5136 · 2024-04-21T09:50:39+00:00

Fart jokes.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-04-21T11:58:29+00:00

Men that want to lead or control relationships. Men that think finances replace being a partner. Men that don't parent or provide half of the effort at home.

RubyDiscus · 2024-04-21T10:20:37+00:00

I can't think of anything masculine I don't like, appart from if the guy drinks, smokes or has tattoos.

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2024-04-21T10:25:26+00:00

Whenever they decide for you what to do today I will pummel everything in the heavens and earth DO NOT THINK YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME BETTER THAN I DO

ToughingItOut82 · 2024-04-21T12:26:20+00:00

The biggest turn off for me is a man not wanting to do childcare and housework and traditionally feminine chores. Well, I know no one wants to do the dishes, but a guy who avoids doing the dishes and hopes his girlfriend will do it is the biggest turn off possible.

banthaaa · 2024-04-21T15:23:36+00:00

I'm not that attracted to feminine personalities. Although they can be physically attractive and that's totally separate, "girly girls" have never really done anything for me. Specifically, women who are easily frightened, dislike the outdoors/nature/messes, women who are into pink/"cute" stuff.

Safinated · 2024-04-22T00:58:54+00:00

Violence, aggression, competitiveness & cruelty

martuz_cn · 2024-04-21T15:24:12+00:00

I don’t like the whole homemaker thing. It seems so boring to me. What would we ever talk about??

Creepy_Pass_957 · 2024-04-21T15:25:19+00:00

Men that think resources are the only thing needed from them to get relationships, men that do not value emotional maturity.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-21T10:32:24+00:00

I'm not really into most masculine personality traits. The whole dominant/alpha ideal is a huge ick. Or muscles/beards.

GlumManufacturer1557 · 2024-04-21T16:50:32+00:00

Smoking and doing drugs, many tattoos, eating lots of meat, beards and body hair, buzzcuts, extremely muscular physiques, porn/ polygamic desires, enjoyment of violence, bad temper and anger issues...

wardenferry419 · 2024-04-21T11:42:37+00:00

I know motherhood is important to women. But, when A soon-to-be 12 year old boy is getting his meals served, his bath made, his hair washed, and his mom laying in his bed until he falls asleep as if he was a toddler. That bothers me. How is he going to develop necessary independency and self-sufficient behavior for adulthood if he is being babied?

HappyCat79 · 2024-04-21T11:17:22+00:00

I had a man tell me that he wanted to “protect me” and “make me feel secure” and that turned me off big time. A man who can “make you feel secure” can also make you feel insecure. A man who can protect you can also hurt you.

I am secure on my own and I would only need protection in a few specific situations, in which case yeah, it’s kind of a given that someone who is bigger and stronger than you will protect you from harm. Him saying that made me feel like he was trying to undermine my own confidence and make me feel like I needed him in some way.

ETA: I have become so spoiled by my amazing boyfriend that I forgot that another thing I can’t stand is men who refuse to be emotionally vulnerable with their partner. If you are with me, I need to see that you have a wide range of emotions and aren’t afraid to express them openly and honestly. So many men think it’s not manly to express emotions other than “mad” and “horny”. Yuck.

sopeintheeyes · 2024-04-21T11:31:06+00:00

I'm not into very muscular men

MotherPermit9585 · 2024-04-21T17:17:41+00:00

Aggressive or violent behavior: one guy I was talking to on a date told me stories about physical fights he had gotten in with other men and it was so cringe and ick producing.

Body hair and unkempt aesthetics in general: I prefer manscaped metrosexual men.

Men who are too stoic with me: in a professional situation with colleagues or with acquaintances I absolutely will quietly judge men (and women) who are emotional and overshare/trauma dump. But in a relationship or a close friendship (even FWB) I want to be let in and talk about our existencial fears, hopes and dreams etc. When men have cried in front of me before I always felt kind of privileged and honored that they were sharing that side of themselves with me. It didn’t dampen my attraction for them long term.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-04-21T17:25:10+00:00

For men - The whole macho meathead vibe. When a guy tries to tell me what we're doing (as opposed to suggesting it and waiting for my response), getting all aggro over nothing, being "overprotective".

For women - The whole ditzy little lost babe in the woods vibe. Nothing makes me want to slap someone more than when they're pretending that they're dumber and more helpless than they are, especially when they do it for male validation. Have some self-respect.

enfantrebelle · 2024-04-21T12:34:32+00:00

A lot of body hair especially on hands and back. It gives me the instant ick.
Being too open about body functions (i.e. loudly farting or burping in front of your partner) - I don't mind that they do it in front of me, just don't go out of your way to be gross you know. It's not "masculine" behavior per se, but I've rarely seen women do that.
Being stoic. I strongly prefer expressive people in general. Don't be afraid to express your emotions - positive or negative.

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-21T13:38:30+00:00

Aggressiveness. If a man seeks unnecessary conflict or feels the need to intimidate others for no good reason, I don't want to do anything with him.
"Leading". If a guy believes that he should make most decision and I should follow him, we're going different routes.
Controlling behavior.
Being emotionally unavailable. I value the ability to share your worries and to be supportive of the other doing the same. I don't want to feel that I'm dating someone with the same emotional range as a turtle.
If he believes that he should make money and I should stay at home taking care of kids, we just aren't compatible.
Inability or refusal to do chores or childcare
A lack of appreciation towards art and other finer things in life
A silly one - beard and excessive body hair

Overall I'm not into traditional masculinity. There are some good traits in it, but they should be combined with traits from the other set as well. I prefer egalitarian relationship and that's what my husband and I have.

Zabadoodude · 2024-04-21T16:11:33+00:00

Regularly getting emotional, and helplessness. I appreciate that my gf is an adult, and doesn't break down over little things.

Also I'm shocked some guys actually like hairy legs. I'm not having sex with a girl if she has leg stubble. It's basic grooming. If I shave my face and trim my beard you can shave your legs once in a while.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-04-21T16:55:46+00:00

While I am attracted to men with traditionally masculine physical features (strong, athletic body and masculine facial features), I’m not at all interested in traditional gender roles in a relationship. So I don’t want my partner to feel the need to “lead” me and serve as the head of the household. I want an equal partnership where we work together to make major decisions. I also expect my partner to view me as his equal.

nnuunn · 2024-04-21T10:38:23+00:00

I don't know if it counts but gossiping to your friends about what we did in private. The way I would act around a woman while we're alone is different than how I would act if I knew your friends were watching, so if I actually know that your friends are "watching" from the future when you tell them what we did in private, I'm never going to fully let me guard down around you.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-04-21T12:11:28+00:00

Too much obsession with the gym, "alpha male", "I'm going to protect you", if he avoids being vulnerable because he thinks it's feminine to cry, he's afraid of homosexuality

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Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2024-04-21T15:40:35+00:00

Beards, motorcycles, heavy drinking, into muscle cars, luxury sports cars, trucks that are too big than they practically need, expensive watches, wearing jewelry (especially gold chains), owning more than two firearms, smoking cigarettes or chew tobacco.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-04-21T16:00:25+00:00

A lot of body hair. And beards. Is a huge ick.

Having to be the leader. I prefer someone who works in tandem with me. I am an adult. I have gotten by on my own accord suddenly because someone shows up they have to call the shots.

Emotional immaturity. A lot of men don't talk about feelings and stuff. I rather be with someone open about that, that checks in with me. Than be with someone who thinks that stuff is for beta men. No it's emotional immaturity grow up.

Narrowing down everything to just sex. It's gross. There's more to relationships than just sex and if that's all you're after. You're going to have a bad time.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-04-21T23:51:04+00:00

Nothing traditionally gives me the ick. I love traditional women and there are way too few

Handsome_Goose · 2024-04-22T01:56:57+00:00

Refusing to do basic things and justifying it by saying 'I'm a girl'. Absolutely disgusting.

Inability to speak clearly or outright refusing, expecting me to guess what you want.

KurlyKayla · 2024-04-22T04:25:12+00:00

anger and lack of emotional intelligence

marmotjacket · 2024-04-22T14:35:17+00:00

Women shaving isn’t just “patriarchy”

It’s because men have more body hair and so removing it moves women away from that and hence more feminine

Also, humans overall like to distance ourselves from other animals

A lot of our behavior can be seen as that

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-04-21T12:40:34+00:00

Beards.

Dick measuring contests (figuratively) between men and trying to one-up each other all the time.

Flexing money and material possessions (I hate this when women do it too).

Men insisting they have to pay, "protect" women and "provide" etc. Men having a preference for a traditional relationship.

When men refuse to show emotion and cry.

Garfagnana · 2024-04-21T12:42:53+00:00

I’m not sure if this aligns with the spirit of the thread, but I find it incredibly annoying when a woman expects me to pay for everything on a first date. It’s like, I don’t even fucking know you yet. Why the hell should I pay for you, simply because I have a Y-chromosome and you don’t?

I’ve heard women say things along the lines of “If he doesn’t pay for the first date, he’s not getting a second date.” Imagine if I were to say something like, “If she doesn’t blow me after the first date, she’s not getting a second date.” I have a sneaking suspicion that many women would think the former is fine, but the latter is appalling.

mrsmariekje · 2024-04-21T18:17:15+00:00

I don't like men who "take charge" - I want decisions to be joint unless it's something frivolous like what present to buy me for my birthday. My silly little woman brain doesn't need a "break" from having to think and make decisions so let's make them together thank you.

I don't like men who gets angry. Nothing gives me the ick faster than shouting or seething or sulking. It's toddler behaviour.

I don't like men who drink. Here in the UK our drinking culture is heavily tied towards masculinity and it's very odd. Men = someone who can down 5 pints in 40 minutes for some reason. Why is binge drinking supposed to be impressive?

I don't like men who think they're too good to change a nappy or do the washing up. Instant next.

I don't like men who earn a lot of money. Usually people who earn a lot of money work long or unsociable hours, get crap annual leave, have a stressful high pressured job or are workaholics. Not going to work with my lifestyle so it's a pass from me, I don't need the money.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-04-21T14:11:45+00:00

Long beards, drinking beer multiple times a week, obsession with watching professional sports, stoicism, armpit hair, thinking cooking & cleaning is a "woman's duty", cargo pants, thinking it's okay when men cheat, collecting porn, tattoos

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-04-21T14:21:30+00:00

Any man who refers to himself as an alpha Try’s to dominate or lead, I’m an adult I don’t need to be looked after and treated like a child Men who want to be called daddy Men who are violent Men who think house work and childcare are for women only

I want a partner not another daddy, I already have 2 amazing dads who taught me to look after myself

boom-wham-slam · 2024-04-21T10:47:20+00:00

I like all traditional femininity. Nothing about it turns me off. In fact it's all a huge turn on.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-04-21T15:24:00+00:00

It's mostly attitudes about men, like that men should "just know" stuff that women are unable to communicate, and if they don't they "lack social skills", or that "real men love the chase", or "men can't appreciate anything that comes easy" (are we all masochists?), etc.

That and fake nails. It's not so much an "ick" it's just a pretty sure sign we aren't going to be compatible. Same with breast augmentation, but if that's your thing more power to you.

People who are so into politics that they view anyone who doesn't agree with them as the enemy. Men can be that way too, but where I live women seem to feel it's noble to have a zero tolerance policy for anything that doesn't align with their beliefs 100%.

Larcenyy · 2024-04-21T21:25:14+00:00

Super girly girls who love all pink, obsess over BTS or Taylor Swift and want a pearl white BMW SUV.

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-04-21T22:55:01+00:00

As a lesbian, ill answer for what women do that gives me ick:

Tldr: passionless women, women who are obsessed with performing gender roles despite us both being women, and privileged/shelteted rich women.

I love women, and I also really really love people’s idiosyncrasies, in fact thats usually part of what makes me fall in love with a woman, so my icks are more specific i guess:

1) I dont really like women who doesnt have any sort of passion or hobby. The given passion doesnt need to be the most important thing in their life mind you. But im just not a fan of people who go to a job they dont like, then come home and just veg out watching tv

2) I dont like when lesbian/bi women have too rigid of a notion of one of us being ‘the man’ and the other ‘the woman.’ Because of the fact that I like initiating, I typically get pigeonholed into the ‘man’ role. Which I don’t mind superficially, like i said i like initiating, but I dont like when it bleeds into intimacy, and the woman wont treat me sexually like im also a woman. One of my ex gfs hated when i rested my head on her shoulder, and she never wanted to touch the ‘womanly’ (srry cringe lol) parts of my body, and wanted to soley receive. Which doesnt even happen in hetero relationships, so thats why shes my ex 😂

3) I weirdly get a massive ick from wealthy women who are clearly sheltered and white bread. Ive had a lot of adversity in my life, which im proud of as its provided me with a certain degree of resolve, grit, and integrity. I very briefly dated this one girl who lived off of a trust fund . This aspect i didnt rlly care about, but as we dated she revealed more and more how disconnected she was from the real world, and she couldnt appreciate the little things in life. She also was blowing through her trust, spending tens of thousands of dollars a month on bullshit. I know a lot of people would ride that out for the golden ticket, but having lived a difficult life, my relationship to money is different. I dont need to be rich, i couldnt care less. One of the largest issues in my life have been housing and food insecurity, so as long as I have food and shelter. As long as i have enough to survive, put a little away, and can have a job with purpose im genuinely 100% happy.

Sillysheila · 2024-04-21T23:58:43+00:00

Being “alpha” for lack of better word. I don’t like “alpha” men.

I could never be with someone who was in a constant state of existential panic over how masculine they are or how “gay” or “feminine” they appear. It just seems so exhausting, I don’t know why some other women like men like that.

obviousredflag · 2024-04-22T09:10:23+00:00

There is nothing in traditional femininity that gives me the ick. Something i am not a huge fan of but what doesn't reduce my attraction to a woman, is if she is too agreeable/concerned with her social image/group standing/social norms and you can't get a non-adapted to consensual opinions word out of her mouth.

drmrman37 · 2024-04-22T09:34:04+00:00

Women with a bubbly personality that seems deliberately put on in a manipulative sense.

pepsi_jenkins · 2024-04-22T09:55:45+00:00

Wanting a "provider" absolutely ewww. Don't like meek girls either.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2024-04-24T00:50:37+00:00

The whole astrology thing girls like to do is wierd to me. You can't be serious with that..

apresonly · 2024-04-24T23:52:03+00:00

ego trips, yelling, violence, being a dick, being a misogynist, being a player, trying to be seen as a player, trying to be seen as wealthy, etc, etc, etc

RadicalQueenBee · 2024-04-21T16:20:26+00:00

being sexually dominant. I'm a switch and I could never settle down with a man who's not a switch as well.
being conservative. I don't know if this belongs here but since most guys lean conservative I'm inclined to include it. I'm super left leaning so disagreeing over politics/social stuff is also something that disqualifies a guy from being anything other than casual sex.

My other icks are not gendered but if I come up with anything else I'll edit my comment to include it.

Dishonouronmycow2 · 2024-04-21T12:15:00+00:00

I prefer my men a little more Hollywood over wilderness hunting types

wtknight · 2024-04-21T14:28:17+00:00

I can't really think of a feminine ick, just obvious unfeminine or unintelligent turnoffs. Men shouldn't be turned off by icks. That's what makes men men and women women.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-04-21T18:10:35+00:00

Doing my best to stick with the implications that icks are actually frivolous, that people who do these things could be good people and worthwhile but these actions just strike me the wrong way.

Sentences beginning with "A real man would...", "I expect a man to...": In real life, people that utter these things occasionally are still worthwhile sometimes, but it's a huge black mark if I hear a woman saying this.

On dating profiles, claims of sapiosexual/demisexual/esoteric sexual orientations. That a good conversation makes you more likely to fuck does not constitute a sexual orientation. Stop it.

"Divine feminine".

Leading with negativity on dating profiles, as in list of things they will NOT tolerate. I know there are ways guys take advantage of this information, but unless she's 97/100 hot to me it's just a reflexive swipe left.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-04-21T12:08:16+00:00

Nagging Gossiping Sexual modesty Baby talk voice Pregnancy/motherhood Expecting men to provide for and protect them

PerfumedPornoVampire · 2024-04-21T13:26:32+00:00

This is a certain kind of guy, but any guy who thinks aggressively driving a certain kind of car or motorcycle makes him sexy is a huge ick. Like dude you are not as cool as you think you are, and no I don’t want to die in a high impact crash in your overpowered Charger or your crotch rocket. Really I think it’s a symptom of a man thinking an external thing can make him more masculine - it just can’t.

ConstanceVigilante · 2024-04-21T16:08:25+00:00

When men talk about their gym routines and workouts.

I just straight up don’t care.

just_a_place · 2024-04-22T03:46:10+00:00

As a man, it always annoys and aggravates me when women do these - I suppose - traditionally feminine things:

Strategic helplessness, the old damsel in distress technique where women act incompetent at shit just to get some stupid simp to do shit for her.
1. Acting coy as if it's a substitute for basic ass communication skills. Lets be real, modern women have lapse in social skills and are becoming as inept at socializing/communicating as incels. And just as damned awkward in a non-ingratiating way. Instead of "adorkable" they are becoming "redorksive."
Failing to step up just because it's a manly thing to do. It aggravates the ever so living shit out of me when I see women not stepping up - like adults - because of this mentality that it's "the man's job" to always bear the brunt of any and all responsibilities. And so these women make no fucking effort to ever take charge, in anything. Not that I am some of those weirdo ass woke motherfuckers that is into masculine women or some other perverse shit. What I mean is when grown ass women fail at growing up. When they do not behave like an adult that is at least attempting to be somewhat competent at adult things.

Dusttyy · 2024-04-22T00:22:07+00:00

Also hate submissiveness. Being loyal and able to compromise is important, but it’s very attractive when women have their own lives and independent to a certain level. Same goes in the bedroom. I love getting off the ways I like, but it can actually be somewhat of a turnoff if they just starfish and don’t even attempt to say or do anything they like.

Makeup. I love natural beauty, and don’t mind subtle makeup… but too much is a turnoff. Not to mention it seems like it would be messy and impractical during sexy time.

mrchoon · 2024-05-07T03:43:22+00:00

Respestable/respected. Love the ol' switcheroo, there.

My wife, as a homemaker, does have an extremely important and respectable position in our family, as do all homemakers for society at large.

People like you calling her a sucker for trusting me is a prime example of her not getting the respect she deserves.

ssshreddder0112358 · 2024-04-21T12:46:54+00:00

notice how only women are responding. cause their TV told them to hate masculinity, men and normal gender expression

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-21T20:27:49+00:00

Bro; let me guess? You have a lot of trouble dating don't you? I won't comment on hairy pussies but the first two are cornerstones of being a man.

thetacobitch · 2024-04-22T00:04:48+00:00

Only drinking beer/liquor. I LOVVVVE when my man is sipping a glass of red wine. Like it’s actually hot.

Hunting. That’s just an absolute fuck no from me. If you enjoy killing animals, I’m out.

AgeGapEnjoyer · 2024-04-21T18:33:39+00:00

Seems like Reddit attracts women want nothing to do with masculinity. Must be something hormonal. Never heard of a woman being turned off by a great physique.

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