There's a huge difference between what younger women want and what older women want which I believe causes a lot of confusion between what works best for dating

Savings_Builder_8449 · 2024-08-21T12:10:54+00:00

The main problem with blue pill advice is they give advice about what women want in ltr to guys trying to get a first date. and in general do not consider mens interests at all.

KamuiObito · 2024-08-21T15:10:05+00:00

No its not. All women prefer the exact same shit over and over. Some just are humble while others are excessive. Women should not try to gauge themselves because 9/10 narcissists views kick in. Women are perfect in womens eyes

egalitarian-flan · 2024-08-21T12:30:59+00:00

You're onto something here, but barking up the wrong tree.

It's not a case of Younger Women vs Older Women. It's a case of Women With Stable Life Goals vs Women With Fluctuating Life Goals.

I'm 42, and I knew the majority of my life goals since around age 16-18. Obviously there's been a handful of minor changes due to things like job promotions, opening my own business, the pandemic, my boyfriend's family's needs, etc. But overall I understood what I wanted my life to be, and worked to keep on that path with very little deviation.

I knew I never wanted kids, I knew I wanted to get a masters degree in business, I knew I wanted to own a house, I knew I wanted to be debt free before turning 35, I knew I didn't want casual sex, I knew I wanted a committed LTR with a good man, I knew I didn't want to be in a relationship with traditional gender roles or religious aspects. So on, so forth. And by my late 20s, I had either accomplished or was still well on the way to accomplishing all of those things.

There's plenty of women like me, who decided X is what they truly wanted out of their life, and put in the work and sacrifices to obtain those goals as soon as possible.

There's also women who are the opposite, who have only a very general idea for their lives, and even then they might make radical changes and contrary decisions that would negatively affect that progress. This isn't a bad thing, it only means they aren't as strict or permanent regarding their personal goals. The woman who decides to use a sudden windfall of a couple thousand dollars to go on a foreign vacation with her girlfriends isn't better or worse than the woman who uses that money to totally pay off her car loan. They have different desires (social freedom vs financial freedom) and their actions reflect it. Such as it is throughout most of their lives, regardless of age.

unhingedtherapist254 · 2024-08-21T13:32:28+00:00

women in their 30s have “figured it out” is just a nice way of saying they’re adapting to their shrinking options. Biology didn’t suddenly rewire itself because they aged a few years—they just realized that the alphas aren’t knocking on their door anymore, so it’s time to settle down. And yeah, people tend to get more stable and calm with age, but let’s not pretend that suddenly makes them immune to their old desires. If anything, it’s more like, “Well, those were the fun years. Time to find someone who can help me build a life.” That’s not some profound revelation; it’s just survival instincts kicking in. More often than not, it’s a practical decision driven by shifting circumstances and a recalibration of priorities, not a sudden epiphany about what they’ve truly wanted all along.

pop442 · 2024-08-21T13:57:52+00:00

Honestly, age does play a role to a certain extent but the subculture and household upbringing of the woman matters even more.

For women who grew up with strict parents or a religious background, being a stable and kind man WILL give you more leverage than being a rebellious or disrespectful man.

But the problem is that these women get off the market FAST. They usually date and marry young or they become even more picky than "crazier" woman when it comes to dating/marriage because they're more stringent on the types of values a man has and they want to be able to introduce the man to their families instead of just having ONS with him.

So yeah.....being a sarcastic and rebellious fuckboy will be more alluring to high school/college aged girls on average than a woman past the age of 30 but it really does depend on the type of woman. There's plenty of women in their 30's, 40's, or late 20's who still mess around with dysfunctional, womanizing, and abusive men and there's plenty of younger women who are holding out for a genuinely good guy but, if you didn't lock down those "good girls" while you were young yourself, you're basically SOL for the most part.

purplish_possum · 2024-08-21T12:23:25+00:00

There is no difference between what 20 something and 40 something women find attractive. Regardless of age women are turned on by the same type of guy. What changes is that by their late 30s to mid 40s women start to realize that their life isn't working quite according to plan and that as their looks and career prospects fade they need to grab onto that last branch before they hit the ground. They come to realize that they're not going to be able to marry a hot rich guy and that not all women get to be boss bitches. They come to realize that if they want some semblance of a middle class life they're going to need a Billy Beta.

What women want doesn't change. What they'll accept does.

It's a shit deal for Billy Beta.

purplepillowed · 2024-08-21T12:28:02+00:00

For your first example, be her friend first has nothing to do with age. This works if you’re hot and she already is attracted to you, but so does everything.

For the second example, mature women are less susceptible to manipulation. Young women don’t actually want dark triad traits, but they’re getting manipulated by these guys.

gntlbastard · 2024-08-21T15:24:32+00:00

Women generally don't stop lusting after the bad boy. The older ones just develop PTSD after dealing with the thugs. But notice those same older women won't ever respect a guy who is decent to them.

throwRA-lifeadvice · 2024-08-21T12:17:09+00:00

I want the same things now that I wanted then, I've just lost my rose tinted glasses and see things for what they really are.

Novadina · 2024-08-21T14:55:40+00:00

When I was 22 I was friends with a nice guy. We’ve now been together 18 years. So seems like in my case, I did want that at 22! Are you saying there is a generational difference and young women today aren’t interested in having a nice partner who is their friend the way they were when I was young?

Both the young women on my team at work (21-23) are dating nice men they met in college. I don’t think it’s that unusual to date friendly nice men, even at 22…

obviousredflag · 2024-08-21T12:50:24+00:00

Who is giving dating advice for 38yo single mothers in this sub?

GhostXmasPast342 · 2024-08-21T19:09:14+00:00

“If you have a good job, stable income, treat everyone with respect, an education, and a home then you will be able to marry a good woman.” This is what I was told as a young man. First off it’s a fucking lie. Second, younger women may care about these things but older women, no. Older women don’t give a fuck about what you have done with your life and what you have. It’s all about height and face. You can live behind a dumpster and smell like piss and shit as long as you are good looking and 6’ tall. Hell, they will make Chad dinner everyday and blow him behind the dumpster.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2024-08-21T13:19:02+00:00

I think the biggest problem with relationships between men and women is that, many times, people seem to need a dry run of a serious relationship before understanding the practical reality of it

treadmarks · 2024-08-21T18:45:52+00:00

Men aren't worried about what older single mothers want

throwaway164_3 · 2024-08-21T13:55:45+00:00

Hm I’d say most women uniformly want tall, muscular, dominant, high status and rich men

Just that younger women have more sexual market value and can lock down a high value man; whereas older women tend to get pumped and dumped since they lose SMV with age.

So they settle with a “safe option” less attractive guy and then complain.

Hence all the posts of “where are all the good men”.

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JSears90210 · 2024-08-21T13:28:23+00:00

There are 38 year old divorced women who consistently date or chase after emotionally unavailable men who will never commit. There are more people who continue to make the same mistakes when choosing partners than those who find a way to course correct. Figuring out that you are the problem in who you select and being willing to work through your own issues to make the change is hard work that most people won't undertake.

There are also 22 year olds who will never take shit from or let a guy lead them on. They are secure in themselves.

There are a lot of 22 year olds who just want to have fun and are still getting their shit together. They are not ready for a relationship with guys who are stable and demand the same irregardless of whether this guy checks the incredibly long list of boxes that they want in a man. They want the roller coaster.

harmonica2 · 2024-08-21T13:33:22+00:00

My girlfriend is significantly younger than me and I've noticed that even before her I've been having dates with younger women. But the reason is because they don't have kids and I wanted a woman who doesn't have kids.

It's really difficult to find an older woman who doesn't have any. So it's not that I prefer younger women over older, as is that more younger ones are more available and without kids.

Ecstatic-Power1279 · 2024-08-21T14:17:54+00:00

Surely women who do not have a history of abuse (and most who do) prefer a guy who is nice over a guy who is not nice? When there's something unappealing with a "nice guy" its not the niceness that is the issue, and when there's something appealing with a "bad boy" it's not the badness that is appealing. Theres other components in these "types" that doesn't have to do with being a good person or a bad person. People don't like to be with people who are manipulative, egoistic and mean.

Why the fuck would someone wants to be a "dark triad bad boy" aka a psychopath? Its retarded and pathetic.

Watson_USA · 2024-08-21T15:14:56+00:00

(43M) If you want a glimpse into the future, there are a ton of 35+ divorced women in midlife crisis mode. It almost seems 50/50, between those still wanting to “take things slow” and going on job interview dates to select their forever provider versus those wanting to go back to having fun dates and going with the flow like they’re 21 again.

If you’re a man who plans on having a glow up and think dating will get easier as you get older, the type of woman you match with (real life or OLD) should give you a very quick reality check. At least in my age group, most men who thought they had a glow are not matching with the dating for fun type of women.

ixdtechs · 2024-08-21T16:56:26+00:00

It works on older women just as well. 38 yo divorced women want adventure just like a 22 year. After all. That’s probably why she got divorced. Bored 🥱

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2024-08-21T17:26:24+00:00

"Dark triad bad boy" lmaooooo.

Just dress cool and be down to party. There's nothing "dark triad" about that whatsoever unless you're some pearl-clutching square who thinks having tattoos and getting drunk in a bar once in a while is the height of degeneracy.

ladyindev · 2024-08-21T17:31:02+00:00

This is basically the flip side of what I keep saying here - young women have the worst outcomes and experiences with dating by age group.

This is one major reason why. Toxic men know what won’t work on many older women (not all) and how certain approaches make young women easier to approach. I remember the relationships when I was really young. Messy toxicity everyywhereee. Not for everyone, ofc.

Gilmoregirlin · 2024-08-21T18:59:30+00:00

I am a woman in her 40s and I would not offer that advice to a man my age either.

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-08-21T20:10:19+00:00

I honestly dunno 🤷‍♂️ how anyone could believe the Disney fairytale blue advice in this day and age! You’d have to be incredibly Naive to be blue pilled. All it will get you is SIMP/Beta Orbitor status and if you are lucky you will get a wife that will cheat/Divorce Grape you

EugeneCezanne · 2024-08-21T20:59:34+00:00

Take for example the Blue Pill advice that you should be her friend first

Who says that's actually blue pill advice? I only ever see red pillers calling it that.

PrettyPistol87 · 2024-08-21T21:27:18+00:00

🤭 I wonder how I’d fare out there if I was recently single

I’m very sad when guys my age are still calling me a Stacy. Stacy peaked in high school and I berate the former chads. I think they like that tho.

shonenhikada · 2024-08-21T21:54:51+00:00

Young women are more receptive to dark triad personality because this personality tends to be most exciting for initial attraction and STR. Older women tend to seek long term relationship, in which case being a nice guy is seen as a more attractive personality trait. Part of that has to do with the nice guy being less likely to leave a woman and being seen as more controllable.

The other issue is that as women age, more of a priority shifts towards material possession and money, since women are focusing on starting a family. This means that for a lot of older woman, they will have a lower threshold for looks and will date a man less attractive than the guys they use to date in their 20s; provided of course he can compensate by being a good provider. While for a lot of younger woman, they often care more about status and looks over money because they still have their parents paying the bill or they are good looking enough to get other men to foot the bill for life expenses.

In short, I would say there really isn't any confusion. Basically, women asses men on 3 traits:

Looks (race, facial aesthetics, height, muscles)
Status (Country status, Job Status, Family status, race, personal achievements, social connection, how liked/respected u are)
Money (material possessions, physical cash, and properties)

Each woman will prioritize one or more trait over the other and may even have a change in preference as they get older.

For example, a girl in her 20s who was a gym rat/hot club girl may have only dated equally attractive men in her 20s and nothing else. Meet that same girl in her 30s, and she may be dating a less attractive male, but one who is willing to commit to her and has a good job.

Alfred-Adler · 2024-08-22T01:15:46+00:00

Take for example the Blue Pill advice that you should be her friend first or that you should be a nice guy. I am sure that works , for a 38 yo divorced woman. However, it's less likely to work on a 22 to woman.

LOL, you're correct, they want different things.

A lot of red pill men are young themselves or are interested in younger women. Which is why their advice to be a dark triad bad boy works for them.

Dark triad? Yikes, that's an extreme.

Let's change it to "be assertive, have a good body and fun to be with". And yes that works with the 22 yo women, but it also works with the 38 yo divorced woman, especially right after the divorce.

Least_Operation6067 · 2024-08-22T01:18:29+00:00

Never listen to women. Talk to the one successful with what you want from women.

No_Sun_658 · 2024-08-22T20:37:01+00:00

I disagree, women have the same mindset, the big difference is that it is worse for older women to compete in the game.

DietTyrone · 2024-08-23T16:26:35+00:00

I don't think there's a difference between what younger women and older women. What occurs is compromises over time as they get older and the window they have to start a family gets more narrow.

Starts with wanting it all and usually ends with stable guy willing to stick around and not cheat. The priorities kind of goes like so from young to 30+:

(Hot guy + money + charm + status + loyalty) => (hot guy + money/charm + loyalty) => (hot guy + money + loyalty) => (hot guy + money/loyalty) => (hot guy + loyalty) => (average guy) + (money + charm + status + loyalty) x (2)

Rinse and repeat subtracting the same traits. They wanted the first option when they were young and optimistic, but they settle for something else as they age.

Boxisteph · 2024-08-27T10:45:43+00:00

Women of all ages want the same thing more or less.

Youg women struggle to know what theyre looking at so accept toxic variations. The fools gold if you will.

The other problem is the women want all men to have what they want, regardless of age and arent willing to target the ages groups most likely to have the skill and perosnality set they want

IdiAminD · 2024-08-21T12:39:32+00:00

Dating is a meat market - you buy the best meat you can afford, your currency is your looks and to minor degree your status/money. The whole compatibility, friendship etc. bullshit regards tiny fraction of outliers.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-08-21T13:09:57+00:00

At the end of the day she wants to have a good time with someone that is fun. And maybe more, or maybe not- but if you aren’t able to show you’re more fun than a night at home: she’ll pick the night at home.

So what are you doing/showing/portraying/displaying/looking like that tells people “I’m better than Netflix and door dash”?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-08-21T14:52:00+00:00

I'd say friends/acquaintances first works better when you're younger with more cohesive friend groups that meet up and mix regularly rather than like a monthly coffee shop trip. Young people tend to be a lot more laid back about dating and open to seeing where things go. Older people tend to try to rush things (understandably) and will date much more formally and intentionally. Single parents are more likely to go for "bad" partners due to past experience of a partner who left them and their family.

BluePillUprising · 2024-08-21T14:58:32+00:00

The best advice to meet a partner is to be yourself. It sounds corny but it’s true. If you’re playing some role to attract people, it’s probably not going to work and even if it does you are eventually going to get tired of it.

If being yourself is not attractive, you might want to consider stepping outside of your comfort zone and trying new activities

sprckets21 · 2024-08-21T15:11:24+00:00

What the woman between 30-40 wants is a lot more than the younger woman. She’s 30 so it’s likely she wants babies and marriage in the short term. If you want to that too it’s fine, but if not it’s probably not going to work.

If she’s got kids then she probably wants to live with you or get you to handle financial in direct or indirect way. Then you inherit a family, not just her.

When you date girls 20-27 they want a fun attractive boyfriend and love. Same goes for 40+ women, it’s likely the kids are at least in high school so she’s looking for a life partner.

Because I want to have a girlfriend for companionship and love I generally focus more on dating girls outside 30-40, they want more quickly than I want to give them. I’m also skeptical they didn’t chase men for a decade now she sees me as her betabux to provide her a family. Whereas a younger girlfriend is looking for a good time.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-08-22T05:51:22+00:00

Older women are also attracted to bad boys.

Next post 😂

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-08-21T12:36:18+00:00

No, the main problem is now many guys think their good/nice guys when their actually not

SaBahRub · 2024-08-21T15:51:23+00:00

Everyone knows that the 20s are for fun and learning, unless you’re religious or antisocial

It’s just that the ones left out are mad

Clean_Woodpecker_974 · 2024-08-21T16:20:18+00:00

Most men prefer younger women, especially if they're relatively young themselves which a lot of guys posting on reddit are. Like others have already said, what women are willing to accept changes. Being able to only attract older women is not a good sign. Those same older women throwing themselves at you would have rejected you if they were 15 years young.

Corbast7 · 2024-08-21T13:14:26+00:00

This assumes that young women overwhelmingly prefer “bad boys.” There are lots of women who have always wanted pretty much the same qualities in a man, no matter their age.

If you’re a man and you’re put off by toxic, emotionally unstable women and you want a serious relationship, then I don’t think it’s good advice to tell those men to become dark triad. The stable women will just quietly avoid you.

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