What are your standards in a partner?

tiposk · 2021-12-18T21:53:04+00:00

Cute face
Nice body
Cleans after himself
No double standards
Interests similar to mine
Eats ass

2021-12-18T21:06:47+00:00

[permanently deleted]

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-12-18T19:03:06+00:00

Within ~5 years of my own age
Attractive to me
Chemistry
Gainfully employed and financially responsible
No kids
No addictions
Doesn't smoke tobacco or do hard drugs
Someone I can bring home to my family

Those are my baseline standards for considering a relationship with someone. Doesn't mean I'd date every guy who meets these criteria or that there aren't other compatibility factors that are important. These are just the bare minimum for me to at least be open to it.

TheMostOfMe · 2021-12-18T21:21:19+00:00

None of these are really absolutes but I’d say

drive of some sort, doesn’t have to be anything crazy but some kind of job or in school, studying something
emotionally available or willing to work on it. I had a whole thread about this but if you aren’t able to express your emotions and be open in communicating then it probably won’t work with me. I am a words of affirmation person and like discussing our relationship and love and all of that stuff in general so that is important to me. However you don’t have to be an open book as long as your willing to make the effort I appreciate that
okay with independence, I have a job that I adore and while I don’t make a ton of money(teacher) it’s really important to me and I want someone who respects that, I also have a big circle of friends and like to go out and travel with them, of course I want my SO to come a long sometimes but sometimes I don’t, and they need to be okay with that, this also means they can hang out with their friends too
idk if adventurous is the right word but definitley need to be willing to do things and explore, I like staying in but also love getting out and trying new things like museums,concerts, movies, camping, games, restaraunts, shopping idk. This was a big problem with my ex, he was a HUGE homebody and to me it read as him not putting effort into our relationship but I realize now we just truly enjoyed different things.
kind to waiters, cashiers exc. I’ve been there , don’t be a dick
sense of humor is super important, I’m funny (queue the woman aren’t funny comments) and yeah If it’s awkward or dry it probably won’t work.

I think the key with all these is just effort, if you’re trying, you got me, that’s really all I ask

Physically I really don’t feel like I care much beyond being a looksmatch to me so like a 5/10

Hair color eye color skin color don’t care at all

I’d probably prefer someone taller than me(I’m 5’9) but my last ex was 5’7 I don’t really care that much

Build i don’t really care, my last boyfriend was skinny as hell a lot skinnier than me, but I also like a bigger build

Idk I know no ones gonna buy that I don’t really care physically about all that stuff but I can romanticize the guy I’m into pretty easily, once I’m in I’m in

But the only thing that’s a dealbreaker for me is cig smoking. My ex did it and i just don’t like it. I think that really is the only thing that’s a 100% no

ashpr0ulx · 2021-12-18T19:07:06+00:00

job, car, pays own bills
generally responsible. has insurance. knows what a credit score is
masculine, can fix things
wants kids
good and a little fucked up sense of humor
i find him attractive
good conversation/banter/all around good shit talker
happy, well-adjusted, mostly positive attitude
laid back, not high strung
keeps calm when shit hits the fan

dbz19 · 2021-12-19T01:46:30+00:00

I prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos.

Ok serious answer:

must be virgin (this is a deal-breaker)
must be marriage minded and want children
must love me

womandatory · 2021-12-19T14:19:19+00:00

Eats well and intelligently (if you’re type 2 diabetic and eat processed crap and rely on medication to save you, I’m out because you can’t take responsibility for yourself, so you aren’t going to help me on the odd occasions when I need you).
Does a moderate amount of exercise, including weight bearing workouts that build bone density. Doesn’t have to be muscle-bound, but if he prefers to be on the couch and watch sport than participate, we’re not a match.
Earns his own money and pays his way. I’m in my 40s and if he hasn’t got his shit together by now, I’m not interested. At all. I don’t care how good his ‘prospects’ are. All my risky investments are in stocks these days, not relationships with men.
Has a proper parenting relationship with his ex and children (if he’s a father and he’s likely to be at the age I’m dating), doesn’t disparage his ex and participates properly in both decision making and financial outlays. If I was a young woman looking for a husband or man to have kids with, he’d need to demonstrate an understanding of the enormity of having children.
Has a decent relationship with his parents, especially his mother. Regardless of how flawed he thinks their parenting efforts were, if he had enough to thrive growing up and wasn’t abused and yet he feels somehow slighted by his parents, he’s probably worth avoiding.
Takes responsibility for all his own decisions - including to splurge on stupid stuff, to quit a paid job and run his own thing, to have a shit relationship with his ex/parents/family/kids/health.
Keeps his body clean, including taking care of his teeth, eyes, feet and skin, takes prescribed medications and doesn’t try to outsmart the medical profession if he isn’t qualified to do so.
Respects there are some things I know more about than him, including my professional qualifications and experience and my lived experience.
Does not watch porn at all, does not follow thirst accounts on Instagram, does not misuse social media in any way that would embarrass me or my child, or my career.
Calls out other men for shit behavior, including sexist jokes, laziness, misogyny etc.
Does not scroll through his phone in my company at all, unless during work hours when he’s expecting a work call or email.
Demonstrates capability as a good, attentive, reciprocal lover.
Demonstrates grown-up capability at running a home including bills paid on time, chores done, clean sheets, clean bathroom and kitchen, lawn trimmed, car serviced, maintenance managed.
Does not show up to my home empty handed - brings wine, flowers, chocolate, or at least a willingness to pitch in and empty the dishwasher, hang laundry or empty the garbage.

Scarypaperplates · 2021-12-18T19:57:37+00:00

My standards are similar to what I offer

virgin as I am (but would accept a low n count man) and only sex after marriage
monogomous (you cant turn a ho into a husband after all)
doesnt have kids and doesnt want them
non smoker
obviously not a criminal/prior convictions

Apart from that I cant think of any real reason to not give a guy a shot!

cautionTomorrow555 · 2021-12-18T18:39:57+00:00

My standards were treats me well, no stds (can't believe that one has to be said), actually likes me for who I am not my money, I enjoy spending time with them, has a compatible personality with mine, doesn't have kids, I don't mind living with them, can communicate with me about relationship stuff, and I am attracted to them.

majani · 2021-12-18T20:09:04+00:00

naturally beautiful
can pay her own bills comfortably
is highly attracted to me
no kids
no history of extracting money from men in sexual situations (prostitution, stripping, divorce rape, romance scams, sugaring, foodie calls etc)

Pintayus · 2021-12-18T22:24:11+00:00

No children.
Not unfit.
Not entitled. Able to empatize with the other.
High libido
Doesn't spend what she doesn't have.
Shares some values and sense of humor
(Optional) Low n count

MarBitt · 2021-12-18T23:10:22+00:00

I used to make some wish lists a long time ago, but I don't take them seriously.

Sometimes there is a big difference between what a person wants and what he needs to become a better version of himself.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-12-19T01:55:22+00:00

Financially independent
Progressive
Likes cats
No kids, nor does he want any
Kind
Intelligent
Not traditionally masculine
Is cool with living in an urban area
Has good relationships with friends and family
Emotionally mature
Prioritizes his health
Likes to travel

hodlbtcxrp · 2021-12-19T06:27:27+00:00

I've had a vasectomy so I'd expect her to not want children. That's the main requirement. She also should have some job and be somewhat independent. Good looks and kindness are also good.

mishimihendrix · 2021-12-19T08:56:51+00:00

Personality: - Feminine - Smart - Warm - Fun-loving - Honest - Well educated - Down to earth and not deluted about her expectations on men - Blindly loyal (“through thick and thin”) - Has had at least a few good LTRs - Uses Social Media moderately only - Has great year-long friendships who she nourishes regularly - Family oriented - Speaks at least 2 languages fluently - Studied medicine, psychology, art, architecture, literature, or any hard skill in an industry that is NOT highly competitive (no business/marketing/finance, engineering, law, etc.) - Loves banter, she roasts me good every once in a while - Is independent in her opinions and life, but let’s me take the lead and is not confrontational about it.

Looks and sex: - She’s tall (5’10-6’) - Slender (excercises regularly and eats excellently, but is not a gym-freak) - Gorgeous - Young (max 25) - Natural: no coloured hair, botox, lip-fillers, implants - Is European and has light eyes (blue/green/grey) - Never wears garments with big logos or any tacky trendy luxury brand (Gucci / Hermes / Cartier / Rolex), but does appreciate real luxury. - Perky butt and a cute p**** - Extremely sexual, open minded, and kinky. - Low N count: her experience comes from LTRs with 2-4 boyfriends, where she was very sexually active and learned all her experience. I don’t mind her having had some short casual-dating phases between relationships, or a couple ONS, but it never became a lifestyle, and was really just some naive experimenting and not a recurrent thing saying “… it wasnt really my cup of tea”.

CFinCanada · 2021-12-18T18:26:40+00:00

My standards when single were:

Childfree/had no kids and not interested in having them
Nonsmoker, doesn't do any hard drugs and not a full-blown stoner
Favours alternative music and enjoys going to concerts
Liberal on all social issues (not homophobic, not antichoice, does not hate people of any race, etc.)
Extremely monogamous
Not fat
At least my height (5'6")
Laughs a lot/good sense of humour, sees the absurdity in most situations and doesn't take himself too seriously
Employed
Nonreligious/does not go to church
Kindhearted and emotionally open.

My man was all of those things. Bonus: he likes horror movies and film festivals and is a film buff. Compromise: he likes alcohol more than I would prefer my man to.

LetsDelveIntoIt1 · 2021-12-18T19:04:07+00:00

Similar values and morals (this roughly translates to: center left politics without being too left; compassionate towards all regardless of their status in life)
Natural/raw intelligence
Be well educated (minimum bachelors in a professional degree)
Professional career path (career, not just job)
Make minimum low 6 figures
Not too introverted (prefer a moderate extrovert)
Childfree but not child/parent hating
Likes pets
Responsible but not neurotic or fussy
Must love travel and food/drinks
Must get along with my friends and family
Must be attractive to me (this roughly translates to: facially attractive enough; be between 5'6"-6'2"; fit but not muscular/ripped; well groomed; well dressed; preferably no tats and if tats, max 1-2 discreet ones)
Must have at least 1-2 hobbies or things they're passionate and knowledgeable about
Must be open-minded to new experiences/thoughts/ideas at least to some degree
Good conversationalist
Must share household labor with me
Not expect me to cater to his family; he manages his family and I manage mine (not expect me to remember his mom's birthday and buy presents for his family, etc)
No addictions and must be healthy, physically and mentally (no serious mental illness but maybe depression/ADHD/aspergers as long as it's managed proactively)

geometersbane · 2021-12-18T20:50:35+00:00

Sane (no radfems, liberals)/Curious about the world/Matching sense of humor/Pro weed/Financially responsible

Can cook/Competitive in gaming/Plump ass/Gives top notch head /No kids

Biggest thing is no mental illness probably

CimZim · 2021-12-18T18:09:15+00:00

He has to be:

Childfree/not interested in having kids
Have a job of some kind (no meat/fur related)
Not muscular or lean
Shares a couple of the same hobbies
Is compassionate towards self/me/others
Has same sense of humor
Is under 6' tall
Normal stuff like not an addict, not unhygienic, not have severe mental/physical disabilities
Similar beliefs related to morals
Is sexually adventurous and has mid-high libido

coconutmilk2001 · 2021-12-18T19:28:17+00:00

Intelligent / Wise.
Driven.
Leader in the relationship.
Max 8 years older than me.
Emotionally stable, at least most of the time.
Makes me feel safe.
Likes animals.
Respected by others.
Always willing to improve like myself.
Taller than me but not too much.
High libido.
Quits porn when we start dating.
LOYAL.
Decent amount of muscle but not too much.
Doesn't need to be naturally handsome, but he has to take good care of his looks and hygiene.

It's a lot to ask, I know 😔

Edit: I'm 20F and 5'4

M3taBuster · 2021-12-18T18:52:49+00:00

physically attractive (average weight, pretty face, long hair)
shorter than me (5'6)
no tattoos, no piercings (ears ok)
virgin and wanting to wait
no drugs, minimal drinking
similar values (right-of-center is a pretty good catch-all)
similar hobbies (video games, anime)
good personality (agreeable, affectionate, loyal)

Don't care about anything financial. Not bothered by clinginess, jealousy, and possessiveness.

pinkestpeachy · 2021-12-18T19:28:08+00:00

The standards I hold myself to are the same ones I will hold my SO to.

razormachine · 2021-12-18T21:20:49+00:00

I like her personality - not willing to compromise on this at all
Not a single mother - willing to compromise if she has 1 kid and father is not an asshole
Not fat - if she is a great cook she gets a pass because I'm going to get fat as well oink
Has an occupation - IDGF how much she earns
Not heavily indebted - not willing to compromise at all
No drug addictions - not willing to compromise at all
Not batshit crazy - seriously stop trying to enter my life
Likes animals - not a step back

Bonus points for liking things I like

WhereasSpiritual · 2021-12-19T00:27:33+00:00

This is a good thought exercise. It obviously reveals more about the person who responds than the person they find fulfills the set parameters.

AnabolicPenguin · 2021-12-19T01:41:31+00:00

No single moms I’m 23 but don’t see this changing with age.

Needs a car tbh lots of women use guys for this or mental issues

High level of openness I have this so I need a women with this so we could actually meld…? Unsure if that’s the right word.

Someone kind

Good hygiene stinky ass and pussy is not for me also see mental illness

EmpyrealMarch · 2021-12-19T01:57:30+00:00

Single and no kids
Financially Responsible
Knows how to cook and clean
Enjoys getting out the house
Kind-hearted
Wants a family

I feel like there's more but I can't think of anything else....

Diamond-Breath · 2021-12-19T02:06:23+00:00

My standards for a man are:

1) Fit and muscular

2) Great with kids and animals

3) Strong and compassionate

4) Chivalrous and traditional

5) Generous

6) Knows how to style himself and is always clean

7) Minimum a bachelor's degree and a job that can support a whole family

8) Knows how to get things done

9) Can chop down a tree with only a machete

10) Protective and secure with himself

11) High-libido

egregiousegghead · 2021-12-19T04:31:58+00:00

3s and up.

Goldenbear321 · 2021-12-19T04:35:05+00:00

When I was dating:

Not fat

Younger than me

No kids

Has a job

Doesn't live at home

Alcohol under control

Attracted to me

samxx9 · 2021-12-19T06:54:56+00:00

my criteria:

-far-right levels of conservative all the while being worldly, cultured

-preferably speaks both french and english

-bachelors level or above education and only number-based majors count. None of those fake blah-blah armchair intellectual diplomas

-likes conspiracy theories, alex jones, and other wacky stuff

-Very specific list of kinks to be disclosed in private

-Must not be aware that female orgasms exist

FrostieTheSnowman · 2021-12-19T07:58:59+00:00

Honestly I leave myself open to opportunities and getting to know new and different women. I have disqualifiers, but I do not have conscious qualifiers. Generally speaking, the qualities I do find very attractive are kindness, fitness (not an olympian, just making an effort), and straightforwardness. I don't like to play the guessing game, and I always worry I will hurt feelings when I have anything negative to say; but when a woman is straightforward with me, that usually means that I can be straightforward with her.

EDIT: Oh yeah. I also love a woman with a beautiful mind. Intelligence is possibly the sexiest trait to me, outside of just being a good person.

Zerofication · 2021-12-19T09:16:06+00:00

Submissive, young, virgin and pretty. No sane man can say no to these qualities.

SqueaksScreech · 2021-12-19T15:51:53+00:00

• has to be single can't be married. (Too many married or taken dudes bit on me it's scary)

•has a job

•isn't clingy

M_LaSalle · 2021-12-19T21:55:22+00:00

Fat, single Mom, stupid, and drug problem are all deal breakers. But in general, defining a partner is bit like that Supreme Court justice defining porn. I know her when I see her.

Reddisitt · 2021-12-18T20:38:37+00:00

If she ain’t a virgin, in the name of Allah I kick her to the curb🙏

PsychoticNurse · 2021-12-18T18:37:55+00:00

I'm already married but these are my standards when I was dating. Luckily my DH met every single one of these so I am a lucky woman!

he must make close to my salary (no less than $30,000/yr than me)
he must own a car and live on his own (of course if his kids live there that's fine). No roommates, no living with his parents
must want kids and be ok being with a woman who has kids (I had 3 kids when I met DH)
must be a leader and somewhat old fashioned man. I'm looking for my DH to be the head of the household and make decisions. Not expecting me, as a woman, to take on the "man" roles in the relationship.
despite being old fashioned, he must also treat me as his partner and not a servant. He must realize we share our home and he needs to pull his weight too.
must put me first before his extended family and definitely before his friends.
must be able/willing to discuss issues with me and be willing to change something if it bothers me (such as a behavior, not something shallow).

7a. must be willing to talk to me if I'm doing something he doesn't like and wants me to change. No discussing our issues with your mom or friend or whoever. Talk to me only.

Most important, must be looking for marriage. I made it clear to my now husband that I will not be his gf forever and I expect to be married.
recognizes the struggles women face and doesn't always jump to "what about men"
must take care of himself. I don't mean working out everyday because I don't do that either. But he must take some pride in his appearance, brush teeth everyday, try to be healthy most of the time, etc.
must handle his anger without punching walls, throwing things, yelling, or any other scary behavior.

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-18T18:31:10+00:00

-Not a conservative lady (or racist, homophobe, bigoted)

-Either has been to therapy or has good communication skills, and know how to express her emotions

-has either a career or future plans for her life -open minded

-not emotionally dependent

-i find her attractive

-No screaming at me or other abusive tendencies

-like me, she has to be into fitness and healthy lifestyle

-values my pleasure

EDIT: not hyper religious. I respect faith but she has to respect my lack of religion.

creekcrystall · 2021-12-18T18:24:57+00:00

Physically: Good-looking, tall, and muscular body is a must.

Great ethics, values, and morals. Assertive is a definite must. Like there’s nooo way I would be able to date someone who wasn’t. Strong-minded. Healthy self esteem, etc etc

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-18T18:27:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

errrright · 2021-12-18T21:21:46+00:00

About me first: 27F, typically considered a 7-8, thin/fit, two masters degrees, salary is well above average for my age, own my 2017 car (no payments), good credit, no kids and never married, excellent cook, several hobbies, no drugs, occasional drinker

My standards: No children, my age or older, in shape, stable job/income (does not have to be as much or more than me, just enough to support himself), good credit, several hobbies, has a car, no heavy drug or alcohol consumption, can do household chores, relatively handy, similar life goals, loyal and committed

HoneyNJ2000 · 2021-12-19T12:36:09+00:00

Knows how to cook.

I love it. You expect this woman to make as much - or MORE - money than you, but she also has to cook for your sorry ass on top of it.

Yet another one who's all about "equality" for women when it benefits him, but still expects the old traditional role of women, wanting her to cook for him. Pitiful.

What do YOU bring to the table, OP? I'm betting not much.

You can't suck and blow at the same time.

NotsoGreatsword · 2021-12-18T20:11:09+00:00

FDS is not a great place to learn about what women want. It would be like going to incels to find out what men want.

Saborizado · 2021-12-18T18:29:15+00:00

* She is beautiful.

* Femininity.

* Stable character.

* Conservative and traditional social values.

* No children.

* Accepts and enjoys my leadership.

* She does not have much sexual history and she has never had anything to do with sex work.

* She is caring, kind and fun to be with.

* Agrees to sign a prenuptial agreement.

* Loyalty.

* Doesn't have too many tattoos.

* Willingness and open mindedness to explore her sexuality.

JoeRMD77 · 2021-12-18T20:42:08+00:00

I think most of the guys around here will just be fine with a pulse.

captainquestionasker · 2021-12-18T21:27:03+00:00

Hot.
Less than 5 bodies.
Younger than me.
Not polluted with woke shit.
Throws down in the sack.
Has opinions arrived at independently of mainstream brainwashing.
Prefers dogs.
No tattoos.
No debt.
No prior abortions.

AmirIsBack · 2021-12-18T22:54:21+00:00

My standards

Top 1% genetics Not a hoe.

CanesMan1993 · 2021-12-18T18:51:23+00:00

Ideal woman would be:

1- Not religious or conservative. No right wingers. It’s fundamental to how you see the world and it just wouldn’t work with my values.

2- Easy going and happy personality. Doesn’t take life too seriously and can just relax and have fun.

3- I am physically attracted to her. I like all kinds of women so there’s flexibility there. As long as her face is pretty and she isn’t obese or extremely thin, that’s OK with me.

4- She has to be open minded with sex. It’s OK if we don’t share the exact same kinks. But she needs to be open with pleasing me because I am very willing to please also. There has to be give and take there.

5- she’s financially independent. She can support herself if she’s single. She also can’t have horrible spending habits. Having huge credit card balances are a red flag to me.

6- she has to be educated. I’m educated and dating someone with less than a bachelors degree is too much of a disconnect. She has to enjoy at least some intellectual conversations sometimes.

7- She has to have her own life and friends. I don’t tolerate controlling women. To be happy you need a good social life aside from your partner.

8- Manipulation/ mind games are a non starter for me. That’s an indicator of a very immature person.

9- I’m short so she has to be shorter than 5’6. Height matters sadly. That’s the way the world is.

Lastly, my girlfriend checks all of these boxes easily. We are very happy.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-12-18T21:52:37+00:00

Not a single mother
Not a fat ass
Not a feminist
Not a woman trying hard to be a man
Have hobbies and a life of her own

Jtmx99 · 2022-01-12T12:33:47+00:00

•Transparency

-Telling me what you want

-Not withholding information

•Honesty

-No lies at all. Not even white lies.

•Trustworthy

•Loyal

-No flirting

-No seeking "physical validation" from others

-No infidelity (Physical or emotional)

-Sticks by me in bad spots and positively supports me

•Affectionate

-Signs that they enjoy my company such as attitude, words, or physical actions

•Attentive

-Responds to me

-Remembers things about me

•Attractive

-Thin/Fit, Round ass (Not too big), Pretty face

If female

-Perky boobs (Not too big; Smaller preferred)

If male

-Not masculine; more feminine

•Childfree/Anti-Natalist

•Healthy

-Sober (Occassional bud and alcohol is fine)

-Physically fit

-Mentally stable and fit

•Hygenic Lifestyle

-Environmental

-Personal

•Financially Independent, responsible and modest

•Similar Interests

•Inquisitiveness and Curious

•Politically left/Social Democrat

•Atheist

•Within 3-5 years of my age

•Modestly dressed

•Non-sex worker

•Monoamory; Lifelong partnership

•No marriage

Maybe a low boy count but that stems from personal insecurity and information I've read that suggests people with higher body counts are more likely to cheat. I'd still give it a go I think if I manage to be the most sexually satisfying partner, otherwise I'm not sure if I could continue. Of course, they'd have to be honest about that and not lie. Although, if I think they are white lying, it'd eat me up inside.

aesthetic_anus_43 · 2021-12-18T18:22:21+00:00

Not an FDSer, no Onlyfans, between 90 and 115 pounds, between 4’11 and 5’4,has a job and at least a bachelors degree, open minded, has some kind of religion, just can’t be an atheist, and has her own friends she can hang out with every now and then

CimZim · 2021-12-18T18:24:38+00:00

Loves sex
Loves sex with me
Is not a cunt

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-18T21:45:05+00:00

Out of all the comments, who has the highest standars? 🤔🤔🤔 TRP and incels are always saying women have crazy high standards but most if not all of the women who commented seem to have very reasonable wants. While the men wrote things like, not fat ones, beautiful, no single mothers, young, want to have sex whenever i want. Hmmmmn who’s the problem? 🤔

Glarkin42 · 2021-12-18T20:14:04+00:00

Caucasian, not obese, doesnt have kids but wants them, not particularly religious, hates liberals, willing to play bondage sub slut sometimes.

throwawaythawne · 2021-12-18T18:12:11+00:00

Average or better body. She must have a job, and not be a sex worker. No single mothers, smokers, druggies, or alcoholics either. If she's a virgin and wants to wait until marriage, that's fine. If she isn't, she needs to disclose every detail of her sexual past and also offer me just as good sex as, or better sex than, her previous partners.

She needs to have similar values, interests, and political beliefs to my own--which includes splitting the bill on first dates. If we get married, we sign the most ironclad prenuptial agreement I can come up with. If we have children, they will all get paternity tested and if we have boys, they will not be circumcised unless it is absolutely medically necessary.

LAndLight2 · 2021-12-18T20:29:02+00:00

Wants to be intimate and have sex with me.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-12-18T20:41:09+00:00

Good looking, like me. Not fat, like me. Works out, like me. No kids, like me. Doesn't regurgitate establishment propaganda, a big red flag of a weak minded moron (if your views on abortion, 'equality', mass immigration etc all match what is said on TV/propaganda, I consider you a simpleton, in the event I wanted kids, I don't want a dangerous moron insisting our kids must change gender, just because TV made it cool).

High libido. Shorter than me.

whippedshea · 2021-12-18T20:05:14+00:00

My ideal man

Stable income and working towards financial Independent
Educated must have a bachelor's degree
Intelligent and able to hold his weight in a debate
Willing and able to travel the world
Physical attractive = health BMI, some muscles would be nice and a decent height. I want him to make me feel small
To be able to handle himself with d.i.y and fixing things
Critical thinking is important and question of the status quo
Not religious (or racists, homophobic or a dick to poor people)
A healthy relationship with sex = no porn addiction, no history of causal sex and no disease or STDs

evanstown21 · 2021-12-18T20:53:33+00:00

In no particular order: must be intellectually curious, empathetic, interested in helping the world in some way whether through career or philanthropy, a healthy communicator, kind, thoughtful, in my age range, passionate about his hobbies and career, must be good at planning and execution, healthy fitness/weight/diet/mentally, can adapt to change well, same height or taller but not taller than 6’2, professional career/education ambitions and demonstrates competence, calm under pressure, financially secure and independent, good chemistry/sex, good manners and style so at a minimum it’s not embarrassing, centrist, socially smart , no kids or prior marriages, can take care of himself and a household, is clean and relatively organized, attractive to me and is well groomed, is proactive, no substance abuse/addiction issues, no bigots, no conspiracy theorists, has a strong sense of self and personal values/morals, a life plan that aligns with mine, interested in trying new things/food/traveling, takes himself/life/me fairly seriously, loyal, matches energy, smells nice, likes cats, is romantic, comes from a good family/clean background and likes me back and values me.

Physical-Pie748 · 2021-12-18T18:26:54+00:00

be average looking or below average is still ok
have nice personality

but omg, i think im expecting too much!?!?!? but i need to be 6 feet tall, i need to have 6 figures, need to have 6 pack, need to be one of the best 5% looking males. ok i know i will remove my nice personality standards ...

loke2dabrain · 2021-12-18T18:18:38+00:00

1 Attractive

2 kitty don't stank

3 She don't mind me being single while she in a relationship with me.

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-12-18T18:19:32+00:00

No kids, kinda obvious.
Healthy appearance and hygiene. No fatties, no anorexia, no rotten teeth or hair falling out.
Be able to get along with my friends to an extent, they're my friends not hers, just be able to talk to them when I'm there. Be able to appear respectable to my parents.
High libido. I like fucking, if I'm committing to 1 person she has to be there when I want to. Edit: not in a literal sense. If we do something together lets bang afterwards.
Some basic submissiveness. I mean in the r/redpillwomen type, not a doormat or a slave. Essentially stfu when I need you to and be ok with cleaning up if you expect me to pay for our dates. Edit: essentially be part of my plan.
Be adventurous. My life feels boring to me and if I say "let's go on a cross european trip in may" I hope she'll be happy to join me.

Edit:

No culture warriors. If you ask me to join a protest or if you indoctrinate kids then fuck off.
1. Mentally healthy. I'm sick of crazy women, I've too much experience with borderliners etc and I won't do iy anymore.

Edit: ok what's wrong with what I said?

ChadBreeder1 · 2021-12-18T19:20:08+00:00

These are my exact same exact standards. I’d possibly add in that she is interested in healthy eating/fitness, funny, dresses well (no yoga pants), is not too girly (feminine is fine but no pink), not addicted to social media, good looking, etc.

However, these women are in short supply and even higher demand. Guys are smart, we want the best women and plan to get them. Most women are rather clueless in their pursuit of a man and are traditionally horrible at picking a partner.

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a_smart_cookie · 2021-12-18T21:10:25+00:00

Must-Haves:

gainfully employed in the same field as his prior education - don't really care about the level but he'd have to have completed something and be working in his field
responsible with money
not living with his parents
wants kids
not too thin/obese, fat/overweight is fine though
good hygiene
pleasant, lighthearted demeanour
range was 2 years younger to 7 years older (have been with my SO for 3 years, but that was my age range at the time)
not mentally fragile, confident and self-assured
helpful, kind, and thoughtful
centre left political leanings
social/extroverted

Bonus:

handy

boofthegirl · 2021-12-18T21:24:06+00:00

He’s got to:

earn over $120k
have good morals
be decent looking (doesn’t have to be a model but definitely tidy and fit)
be taller than me (I’m 5’4 so easy as)
be financially responsible (not so worried about debt if it’s good debt like mortgages on properties and not dumb things like cars, boats, etc)
want a family and marriage
be willing to support me being a SAHM/SAHW
have positive outlook on life
be kind, friendly and compassionate towards myself and others.
like animals
have a good family (not out here wanting some crazy in laws)

KFC_Fleshlight · 2021-12-18T21:28:27+00:00

single funny decent morals not conservative smart enough to not be dumb sexually compatible doesn’t have annoying mannerisms attractive to me laid back not judgemental of others but still knows when to make fun of others doesn’t want kids

EndAggressive7263 · 2021-12-18T21:36:56+00:00

she must be 4 or more years older than me

she shouldn't have a problem with me smoking cigarettes

she should not be religious ( preferred : atheist or anti theist )

Batgrill · 2021-12-18T21:42:50+00:00

-close to my own age (27) -open-minded (no racism, homophobia, ableism, etc. - left leaning) -basic hygiene is a must -either not drinking or only occasionally drinking -not wanting kids with me (I can't have them) -positive outlook on life in general -can have actual deep conversations (don't even have to agree, just being able to talk without fighting is great) -attractive to me and attracted to me -being able to pay his own bills -have a job -have friends & hobbies -not too clingy, but still able to enjoy my company

_Oh_Be_Nice_ · 2021-12-18T21:45:23+00:00

Once more, with feeling!

In no order of importance, save the last point, which is the most important (to me):

reasonably able to adapt
reasonable goals in life
relatively easy going
possesses a curious mind
financially independent
athletic
doesn't treat people expendably
a sense of humor
an actual attraction to her partner
self-aware
between the ages of 25-45 (for my personal age bracket)
consistently and genuinely holds all of these attributes throughout her life (save the age one, obviously)

mariii95 · 2021-12-18T22:09:33+00:00

Slim figure
No facial hair
A face I consider pretty and unique
Has style and personality
Must dislike porn
Can have a genuine, civil conversation about any subject, without trying to win the argument every time. Actually listen to the other person.
No unnecessary drama and anger
Faithful
Must be ok with not having kids
Not being selfish

Asuzara · 2021-12-18T23:30:52+00:00

emotionally attractive
physically attractive
good sex
has a job/studying
good with money, not cheap or wasteful
moral alignment: feminism, pro science, environmentalist
both good listener and talker
established social circle
has ambitions (hobbies, job, personal)
good hygiene for themselves and their home
likes cats
no addictions

chilumibrainrot · 2021-12-18T23:37:03+00:00

i find him attractive
my friends approve of him
hes taller than me or the same height as me
hes either the same age or older than me
he isn't bigoted in any way
he doesnt talk to a ton of other girls
he isnt friends with his ex
NO FRAT BOYS NUH UH
hes funny and makes good conversation
he isnt judgemental
he treats people with compassion
hes less than 30 minutes away, if hes over 30 mins he can drive
we can be honest with eachother
i dont have to hide my interests or feel like im "cringey" around him
he loves cuddling

TheLoneMushroom · 2021-12-18T23:48:56+00:00

Damn you guys have way more standards than I do and I can't even find anyone who fits mine.

My standards are: Not engage in hookup culture, put effort into the relationship, be a generally good person, and I have to have some sort of attraction to her although I find I gain more attraction for people after knowing them after awhile. Also within like 8 years of my age range and not have kids.

DuncanIdaho88 · 2021-12-19T00:25:55+00:00

Feminine
Moderately attractive
Doesn't think cheating is romantic because The Notebook, a reality show or a TV series says it is
Can think for herself (not a sheep)
Able to hold down an OK job
Intelligent
No BPD or similar personality disorders. After being engaged to a BPD woman, I struggle very hard not to hate everyone with this disorder
Has actual interests, beyond Netflix

LanaTownsend · 2021-12-19T00:57:18+00:00

Most people’s lists are bullshit. We are more than boxes to check off on lists and women make A LOT of concessions for men if he makes her feel good enough.

On the flip side, how many slender, child free, gainfully employed pretty women have men dismissed for whatever reason(s)?

Most ppl will eschew their lists if they liked the person enough, and that’s not always a good thing.

Willow-girl · 2021-12-19T01:45:34+00:00

Don't have a list but I know what I want when I see it.

sweetestpineapple · 2021-12-19T01:57:37+00:00

Be attractive (to me)
Have similar enough views

That’s basically it.

daniellederek · 2021-12-19T02:02:47+00:00

Em fucking ployed

Sex positive and physically able to participate

Height weight proportionate

IQ above 120

TRotSH · 2021-12-19T02:09:42+00:00

You people are pathetic

happy_petite_spartan · 2021-12-19T02:35:31+00:00

I have high standards and I meet the high standards of the men I date so it's fair play. I only date a guy if I see myself having a harmonious marriage and having children with him.

Therefore, I would only consider a relationship with him if he is extremely ambitious, can comfortably provide and is happy to do so, has high standards for himself and his partner, is highly athletic and trained in sports or fitness & engages in any degree with bodybuilding, highly intelligent, loyal and strongly committed (I look very closely at his past history of commitments not just to relationships but to his studies, career, fitness etc), highly competitive and very very high sexual compatibility. That's off the top of my head.

I don't think you should set high standards for your partner if you are not capable of reaching the same level of expectations at minimum.

My partner has very high standards as well. We both are deeply in love, committed and haven't fought once in the time we've spent together. I really adore him.

xSmashBrosNotHoes · 2021-12-19T03:10:10+00:00

What are your standards in a partner?

Alive and breathing
...
.

.

Playing smash bros is a bonus

DiamondLilyD · 2021-12-19T04:44:32+00:00

Low number of sexual partners (Less than 3)
No Porn watching
Not obese
No drug/alcohol/gambling/smoking other addictions
No madonna/whore complex
No personality disorders
No history of cheating or abusing people
No history of TRP philosophy/Evo psych
No criminal record
Little/no tattoos
Wants kids
Has drive/wants to succeed in life
Kind and caring
Has good manners

Spread-Em-Plz · 2021-12-19T04:55:19+00:00

The bare non-negotiable things are:

I'm attracted to her
She's attracted to me
Physical chemistry
She doesn't have an overwhelming need to be validated by men as a whole
Have at least SOME kind of hobby or something going for her outside of work (even if it's just "hanging out with friends", at least SOMETHING that isn't work-related is better than nothing)
Her presence has to be a net positive in my life and I have to actively really enjoy spending time with her outside of sex too (AKA if I don't think to myself "Yes! We're gonna be hanging today!", to myself, then it's not happenin')
ETA: Oh yeah, and the really obvious shit like isn't emotionally abusive, physically abusive, manipulative, or some other really obvious, severe flaw

King8Kaista · 2021-12-19T05:00:06+00:00

Attractive ofc

Polite

No kids

Compliant to the law & authorities.

Always sober

Feminine

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-12-19T05:38:07+00:00

Christian

Low body count (preferably 0)

Honest

Attractive

In shape

Feminine

Loyal

Wants kids but doesn't have them.

Non smoker

No Drugs

staabalo · 2021-12-19T06:11:51+00:00

Has ambitions and/or passions and doesn't want to just be a stay at home housewife
We like talking with each other and can make each other laugh
Wants kids at some point (far down the line prob)
Wants to cuddle or snuggle up at times, we like each other's touch and affection
No smoking and not an alcoholic
Not fat (always unattractive to me, and indicates an incompatible lifestyle)
No super short/boyish hair
Not too many tats, piercings, spray tan or extremely heavy make up (basically just not over the top, and is attractive naturally)
Obviously no early relationship red flags like being too clingy, wanting sex before a relationship, getting jealous, lying, complaining a lot about exes etc

Other than that I don't really care. Preferably not a right winger but I'm not too into politics anyway. Has to respect me not being religious anymore, I'll do the same with whatever she is

Zcuzz · 2021-12-19T06:12:22+00:00

No kids (or not have custody) Fairly attractive Not a flaming liberal whack job Able to carry on a decent conversation Have a mutual hobby we can do together Fucks me regularly

nick1812216 · 2021-12-19T07:22:14+00:00

I don’t really have any. I just shoot from the hip so to speak.

But that being said I’m 28 and have never been in a relationship, so I have no experience in selecting a partner

shygirl449 · 2021-12-19T07:24:49+00:00

good person
attractive enough
responsible (no addictions, no criminal background, keeps a job, doesn't fight)
caring
we share a hobby (to do together)

Tylerdurdenfwb · 2021-12-19T08:32:45+00:00

Same as your list and I'd add:

Less than 10 previous sexual partners
Never has cheated on someone
Has never had an abortion
Conservative/family values
Follows a religion
Relentlessly optimistic

DP8414 · 2021-12-19T08:46:25+00:00

I find her physically attractive. (My own standards there are subjective and arbitrary)
High sex drive.
Wants kids of her own. With me.
Socially and culturally conservative beliefs (I can forgive a promiscuous lifestyle if she recognizes that was the wrong way to live)
Would prefer to be a SAHM, or at the very least, doesn’t put any sort of emphasis on making her own money
Understands the balance between her own desires and whats good for society. Most women do not meet this standard
Loves children. Isn’t annoyed by them or finds them “in the way” of her own impertinent goals.
Kind, cheerful spirit in all circumstances. Like Cinderella.
Never EVER nags me or tells me I need to do something. If I truly failed to do something I “should” have done, she calmly asks me to do it and doesn’t make a fuss of it.
She doesn’t question or criticize my own values and hobbies.
She allows me to cook for her and serve her in various ways without looking at me as less of a man.
She likes talking to me and spending time with me.

Some of these are absolute requirements, some are negotiable. If she’s the polar opposite of any of them, however, she gets ghosted.

MrShakedown1 · 2021-12-19T13:25:41+00:00

In tge same vein: Playboy model, low n count, faithful to me, slender and nice face.

yodreadd · 2021-12-19T14:19:07+00:00

younger than me.
she have to be into anime.
I have to find her beautiful and intelligent.

Anything else is negotiable for me (weigh, height, college degree, job, friends and so on).

Fisheyetester · 2021-12-19T14:34:07+00:00

If I look at em and think yeah I love that person and might be able spend the rest of my life with em. That’s it don’t make it too hard for yourself, no one will ever check EVERY box you have and if they do then they’re probably faking it

Intense_Freshness · 2021-12-19T17:52:07+00:00

ideally shares at least 2 languages with me
intelligent and well-rounded
great communicator (and we have things in common to talk about)
is good at managing his finances
doesn't have a smoking or drinking habit
is in a healthy physical shape
decent, respectful person and not misogynistic/racist/homophobic etc.
takes his life and relationships seriously; is willing to improve
doesn't push me for sex and doesn't see me as purely a means for his physical satisfaction; I'm all about the intellectual connection, then emotional connection, and only after these are established a sexual connection will follow.

justpassingbyby · 2021-12-21T11:02:06+00:00

Ooh, that is a fun thing to reflect on. What am I looking for in a perspective partner?

High energy levels! This is important. I am super energetic most of the time, and can definitely get on the nerves of those who do not appreciate it. I mean, I do love quiet people too, but it is better if they don't want to strangle me when I get all chatty at 6 am.
Curious and adventurous! I love to learn new things and have a fuckton of hobbies, so I would love to meet somebody willing to share them. If they are up for D&D, hiking and neuroscience lectures, well, that could be a great match right there.
Good. Somebody compassionate, able to identify with the struggles of others and actively trying to change the world for the better – even on a small scale.
Driven. I tend to motivate and push my partners, and I love when they do the same.
Must respect my independence. My freedom is just very important to me. I love my solo time.
Kinky - or at least open to experiment. I have weird tastes, what can I say? I also switch – exclusive dom types of guys are a total turn off for me.
Family oriented! I have no kids but would love to adopt or foster in the future.

And those are my fundamentals, I guess. Pheew.

StoicShaman · 2021-12-27T20:44:28+00:00

attractive, no kids, not crazy.

NarniaFox · 2021-12-18T18:07:48+00:00

I'll just copy and paste my old comment if you don't mind

Similar values (no homophobe/misogynist/pro-lifer/racist/deeply religious etc, cares about environment)
Clean criminal records
Similar plans/inspirations
Some similar hobbies/interests, interest in at least some kind of art
Likes pets and wants to have some of their own
Has plans for the future and works on fulfilling them
Financially stable - can support their own lifestyle
We find each other sexually attractive and have similar kinks
Values my pleasure
Good at communication, can make compromises
Emotionally stable, is in touch with their feelings, can show their vulnerability and be there when I'm vulnerable
Is in a good mood more often than in the opposite of it
Supportive, honest, caring, attentive
Acts according to their morals
Patient to my quirks and doesn't get irritated with them easily
Okayish family and parents would be preferable, but not necessarily.

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2021-12-18T18:31:53+00:00

Jewish

Gainfully employed

Respectful

Does not need me to take care of him

Someone I am attracted to

WFCtothemoon · 2021-12-18T18:48:26+00:00

"Makes same or more money than myself" that's kinda harsh, no?

God forbid your wife makes less money than you. Money won't buy you happiness! I need her to like her job and make decent money, and people who are stuck in deadend jobs usually don't like their job

Educational-Cut4177 · 2021-12-18T18:58:37+00:00

What’s the deal with single mothers?

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2021-12-18T19:04:40+00:00

• Child free currently but wants kids

• No extensive sexual past

• 6’2+ and semi fit

• Traditionally masculine and will let me be a SAHM

• Enjoys animals

• Enjoys alternative music

• Has hobbies that aren’t video games

• Has similar moral compass and world view as me

• Eats healthy

• No addictions

dysonRing · 2021-12-18T19:10:46+00:00

Hot a 9 or 10.

No kids

High libido

Kind person (no MAGA)

LoggerheadedDoctor · 2021-12-18T19:18:01+00:00

Married for 9 years but, if I were single:

Childfree
Decent job-- enough where we would not have to struggle with combined incomes
Curious about the world and always seeking to learn or understand more
Progressive and liberal perspective
Laid back. I am hyper and high strung so a laid back person is a much better match for me
Sexual compatibility
Physically--I like slim dudes with dark hair. Runner or soccer player build. Glasses
Dark sense of humor
Compassionate
Well adjusted/emotionally well, not codependent

midwesternMD · 2021-12-18T20:26:26+00:00

My standards are similar. For relationship/wife material:

no single mothers
not fat
less than about 32yo
inclined to want kids
nonsmokers
lives within her means
either professionally skilled or domestically skilled
libido comparable to my own
sexually curious
liberal tendencies

Basically, my standards are similar to yours with the exception that I don’t care what she makes. If she’s got domestic skills and would make for a good SAHM, my income is more than enough. If she’s gainfully employed, great. Some nice touches would be if she comes from a good family, legacy to a good alma mater, etc

Title	What are your standards in a partner?
Author	12inchbamboo
Upvotes	117
Comments	549
Date	December 18, 2021 6:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/rjcw68/what_are_your_standards_in_a_partner/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-your-standards-in-a-partner.1091793 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091793

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