What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average?

learn2earn89 · 2022-07-23T18:04:21+00:00

Non physical attributes?

Being funny

sowwi · 2022-07-23T16:20:59+00:00

Even though i don't agree with this, many girls choose a man based on his status. Now, status can mean many things, but you get the point

bareasscontessa · 2022-07-23T17:16:50+00:00

Of all the men I’ve dated, my absolute favorites that I was with for a bit had these qualities:

1) A mix of intelligence/passion/curiosity. They were interested in lots of topics from every view and devoured info and loved to talk about it. The twinkle in their eyes when they monologued about something they loved, was infectious.

2) empathy. They took the time to consider others feelings and even something would never personally affect them, they validated peoples emotions and were supportive.

GottaPSoBad · 2022-07-23T16:46:23+00:00

What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average?

Good job - pays well and/or is respected
Smart/Thinker - has actual thoughts in his head (good ones) and the ability to reason well
Physically fit - not even big muscles or visible abs, just not fat and able to do real exercise comfortably
Good skin - healthy, clean, no obvious breakouts or other problem areas
Well dressed - not necessarily a suit or a "trendy* look, just putting notably more effort and thought in than "is this clean?"
Admired/Liked/Respected by others - High(er) status, or at least not low status. People want to be with people that other people (and animals) like. Also stereotypical "losers" and social outcasts are often bad hangs.
Above average height

There's plenty more, but those are the top 7 that come to mind. Any one of these things, leveraged well, will make a guy above average by default. Multiple together will compound that effect.

Also notice that all but one is something a guy can actually change about himself. And the middle 3 all relate to looks. I tell guys all the time that you gotta do the work, and these are the things I'm talking about when I say that.

If the average man is as described here, chubby and making 40-50k, does just being lean with a college education make a man in a positive enough situation that he could be above average?

Yes, basically. Doesn't mean those guys don't struggle too, but they have an advantage.

Also consider this: A guy with a substantial daily exercise routine is automatically something like Top 25% in fitness for men. Every little bit helps.

TheSnowyPlover · 2022-07-23T17:47:01+00:00

Having a full head of hair in middle age

ScarAdvanced9562 · 2022-07-23T16:13:45+00:00

Having a college degree means nothing if he’s not making more than average.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-07-23T16:30:57+00:00

Lots of people with college degree make less than 40-50k lol

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-07-23T16:44:04+00:00

Being very tall.

NoOne_143 · 2022-07-23T16:15:49+00:00

Fitness.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-07-23T17:04:11+00:00

They keep moving the goal posts on 'average' and 'datable.'

purplish_possum · 2022-07-23T16:19:35+00:00

For most guys, a few extra bucks and little less fat isn't going to matter much. Going from 50th percentile to 65th percentile won't get a guy many more dates. A guy needs to be at least 85th percentile before dating gets easy. No one trait can get a guy to that level. To be that level a guy needs to check multiple boxes.

QuestionEquivalent62 · 2022-07-23T17:09:20+00:00

Why nobody talk about a really good hygiene?

Cut and thick beard , White teeth Good smell Good haircut

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-07-23T17:08:23+00:00

Height

snekhoe · 2022-07-23T17:10:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UnbendingSteel · 2022-07-23T19:12:24+00:00

Being relaxed and friendly rather than intense and judgmental. That guy sitting by himself observing everyone with a scowl on his face? I don’t want to talk to him. The guy who laughs easily and appears to be comfortable in his own skin?

That’s Him.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-07-23T17:51:26+00:00

Entrepreneurial spirit. When he shows you that he will always land on his feet.

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2022-07-23T18:11:05+00:00

If a man is smart, ambition, and creative (you don’t have to be Einstein or Elon Musk, just show these qualities a little bit), passionate and driven (not even romantically/academically, just about hobbies as long as they aren’t racist or something), funny, willing to be vulnerable but not whining to everyone just fishing for sympathy. I don’t really care about status, in fact, if a guy is a little bit weird or nerdy, I’m personally kinda into that.

Physically, “about average” for me is just personal preferences. These are things that make a guy who may be average in a lot of ways stand out to me.

Edit: I don’t really care about what society says makes a man above average, since that doesn’t really matter to me. But as for what society thinks? Being tall, being a good listener, having a good job or working towards a good job (ie, med school), being not obese, etc

GrandRub · 2022-07-23T18:27:58+00:00

charisma and an interesting life that thats somewhat unique and not "work,gym,sleep and play call of duty"

AidsVictim · 2022-07-23T19:14:22+00:00

If the average man is as described here, chubby and making 40-50k, does just being lean with a college education make a man in a positive enough situation that he could be above average?

Technically yes. In terms of attraction just being "above average" means nothing for a couple of reasons.

Firstly what people think of as "average" may or may not correspond to a real average. A lot of people think "average man" and envision generic 180 lb 5'10 middle class guy working in office or some white collar work. That guy is technically above average in weight and probably income but what matters in this case is perceived average which he is being compared against.

Secondly just being above average does nothing in terms of attraction until it hits a certain threshold. A guy making 80k is above average but that isn't really enough to make him stand out - that starts in multiple six figures i.e. well paid technical skills, doctors, successful corporate lawyers etc. Like wise physically 6', and 15% body fat is not actively attractive to women in and of itself - being a fitness model is where a guys body being actively attractive starts for most women.

The smaller arousal window of women means it's quite difficult to be actively attractive in whatever way regardless of a guy being "above average".

hdksndiisn · 2022-07-23T20:00:10+00:00

I’m college educated and extremely fit/active, 6’0”, only make $34/hr, and I would argue I am average (where I live). Above average would be masters degree, fit + STEM job, 6’1”+, etc

I live in Southern California and basically I I’m a 6 here, in somewhere like Idaho or I dunno Louisiana (?) I’d probably be an 8.

Or to put it into perspective women that are a 6 here are a 8-9 when I was living in Washington.

Demographics and location makes a huge difference.

Where I’ve lived, major cities like Denver, Colorado Springs, Los Angeles, San Diego, Seattle, etc…people are generally wealthier and more attractive and even within those cities there can be major differences like women in La Jolla in San Diego compared to women in Escondido in San Diego.

SexySecretsSD · 2022-07-23T20:34:22+00:00

It's gonna be metro dependant. Also it depends on age. On the whole college guys tend to be fitter than guys in their mid-20s and beyond.

Seriously, when you're 40+ if you aren't overweight, have a full head of hair, have an actual career and are over 5'10", you're like top 10 percent.

That__EST · 2022-07-23T21:30:56+00:00

A social man. Repeat after me A SOCIAL MAN. Figure out what type of girl you're going for and then go for it. The girl you're crushing on that you see at a rural bonfire is going to be interested in different things than the girl you meet at the club. Being able to break the ice and seeming like you have fun and others see you in positive regard helps tremendously.

yamb97 · 2022-07-23T18:04:30+00:00

Doing chores w/o being asked

iLiveInAHologram94 · 2022-07-23T18:35:15+00:00

Being reliable, emotionally mature, honest, interested in a commitment, emotionally available, hard working, motivated, well rounded adult, gets shit done, intelligent, has a good sense of humour, loves and respects his friends and family, etc.

CardiBacardi2022 · 2022-07-23T18:56:41+00:00

what puts a man above average is his sense of humor, optimism in life, patience, kindness to random strangers, easy going personality, problem solving outlook, and a general interest in making his partner happy.

Nothing to do with what’s in his wallet or how he looks or what degrees he has. Stop being superficial and/or assuming that every woman is.

Altruistic-Donkey496 · 2022-07-23T17:11:29+00:00

Mechanical skills/able to fix something

StrawbabyKitten · 2022-07-23T17:40:39+00:00

Money, status, confidence, health, good smile, charm

blueskoos · 2022-07-23T18:28:19+00:00

Conversational skills,, according to my own average

Reasonable-Cup-9143 · 2022-07-23T19:09:19+00:00

Listening and not automatically providing a solution. Asking if she wants to vent or wants him to try and help. Or if she wants both.

Having a guy just empathize and not try to problem solve is rare. It's not bad that men problem solve. It's an amazing trait. It's just that sometimes women need to just be heard.

scwizard · 2022-07-24T05:22:23+00:00

6'4

It's like the magic height number that makes tinderellas just like "fuck it lets do this."

ManWazo · 2022-07-23T16:55:03+00:00

Treating women as human beings

DuncanIdaho88 · 2022-07-23T17:02:51+00:00

https://igotstandardsbro.com/

MetaMushroom · 2022-07-23T17:46:44+00:00

Having an IQ above the 99th percentile.

lalelu2727 · 2022-07-23T21:11:03+00:00

Not being on here

FutileDeathStar · 2022-07-24T09:08:47+00:00

Physically: Fit body/being athletic

Non physical: Confidence

rurunoa · 2022-07-23T16:27:36+00:00

nice body

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BluePearl2020 · 2022-07-23T18:39:40+00:00

Nice dresser, nice hair, no people like them a lot, natural charisma basically

midwesternMD · 2022-07-23T19:35:06+00:00

I would argue that a college education is about average nowadays. I could be biased with my upbringing or have really selective memory, but very few people in my public HS didn’t pursue further education.

Being lean/fit is a good step in the right direction. Being fat is the average, but the fatness is skewed by the super fat. So the average population of people competing for “not fat” women is going to trend more lean anyway.

I think earning one standard deviation above the mean household income in your area is adequately above average. At least, it should allow you to absorb the financial cost of dating without hurting your retirement/savings goals.

But that’s what it takes to be “above average” for basic stats. Most of the single men on PPD are on here lamenting the dating experience. I think it is agreed that for men, the average dating experience is lots of swiping with relatively little conversion to matching/dating/sex/relationships. So technically being “above average” from a dating experience means that you’re a man who matches with women fairly regularly and have more opportunities to go on dates, hook up, and otherwise start relationships. Those men don’t really have much in common other than the lifestyles that put them in close proximity to women and their fearlessness with respect to pursuing them. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are tall, some (likely fewer) are short. Some are fit, some (likely fewer) are fat, some are Caucasian, some are not, etc. The kinds of hangups frequently discussed here are mostly just that- hangups.

Celestialpearldanio · 2022-07-23T20:01:20+00:00

Being lean with the ability to make me laugh is all I look for. Love me a thin guy. Height is way less important than weight.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-07-23T20:40:41+00:00

Charisma

AprilMaria · 2022-07-23T21:12:25+00:00

Being genuinely kind, open, and willing to have equal input into the relationship. Emotional security and reliability is probably the biggest thing I want. You could even halve the income.

Someone who's actually enthusiastic about life, I couldn't do dragging a man child behind me again.

Genuine emotional connection and intellectual spark would be great.

supersmit · 2022-07-23T21:34:43+00:00

When he remembers how I like my coffee 🥰

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-07-23T21:41:26+00:00

Being from another country.

Yixagurpuldink · 2022-07-23T21:49:09+00:00

In general, rarely does a single factor alone can make you above average. However, some can in and of themselves carry a person fairly far include but are not limited to:

Related to a famous person
Ivy League style fancy degree
Name brand job (google/boeing/amazon...)
$500K+ USD a year in a consistent manner
High level achievements (often relevant to a niche) - black belt, Olympian, name brand D1 athlete
Savant-level intelligence

And once again, these only gets you in the door.

Willow-girl · 2022-07-23T21:50:51+00:00

A big, thick.......wallet!

cunningcaring · 2022-07-23T21:57:46+00:00

Smart, strong, healthy, funny, reasonable, level headed, kind, generous, polite, successful, and an eight inch cock.

RealNiceLady · 2022-07-23T21:57:47+00:00

Good looks, high status

alienbooi · 2022-07-23T22:16:32+00:00

Confidence is allll that matters to females, genuine confidence that is. Wondering if you are above or below average means you wonder how valuable you are to others. This is a cuck question not to be rude. Your self reapect and value has to be from within and you will believe you are a catch once you know your self. You know yourself by suffering.

catniagara · 2022-07-23T22:38:08+00:00

Talking to me like I’m a human being and talking about something other than how much he wants to have sex with me would elevate him above 90% of men I’ve met.

alphadawg94 · 2022-07-23T22:49:11+00:00

Get good at literally anything. How’re you gonna make 50k and be fat?

HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-23T23:21:56+00:00

Fit, higher income than average, taller than average, status, assertiveness, ambition.

f_ckupsomecommas · 2022-07-23T23:40:01+00:00

Generally having a youthful complexion I’d imagine. Some guys look 10 years older than their actual age. Usually due to stress, drug problems, etc. Can make you look a lot older

Aviadcool111 · 2022-07-23T23:42:12+00:00

An average guy can become above average and below average depending on his environment as well. Ex. A guy making 90k in a flyover state and goes out often is going to do fine vs the same guy making 90k in nyc and having less of social life.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-07-23T23:45:28+00:00

I'm in decent shape and have a degree in a STEM field. Still invisible.

forthetinderelllas · 2022-07-23T23:49:06+00:00

Confidence.

buntyisbest · 2022-07-24T00:02:31+00:00

A man making 40-50k is hardly considered "average" by today's dating standards. That would be a man making 65-80k.

rushopolisOF · 2022-07-24T00:23:44+00:00

Be physical fit and sociable. Get out the house, do some physically demanding stuff, and talk to people. Most people lack in at least one of these departments.

TheseVirginEars · 2022-07-24T01:30:29+00:00

How are you guys living on 40-50k though. Christ this place is fucked

Time_Animaal · 2022-07-24T01:33:51+00:00

You mean what's weighted the highest? I've always said lean body mass

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-07-24T02:20:35+00:00

I love how shit loads of dudes in this sub just completely contradict the actual words of actual women answering the question. Can y'all shut the fuck up dude? We get it, you don't trust women. Please go yell it into a pillow or something.

girl_in_flannel · 2022-07-24T03:01:34+00:00

Ambition/goals
Good sense of humor
Kind to strangers
Always trying to better themselves
Shares my political beliefs/morals

trololol_daman · 2022-07-24T03:42:14+00:00

6 foot

lean with decent muscle mass

full thick head of hair and clear skin

salary 60k+ (depends on location heavily)

ValyrianSigmaJedi · 2022-07-24T03:54:03+00:00

Mental toughness.

OldStorageUnit · 2022-07-24T04:42:50+00:00

Having a life outside of me. A man established in his own career, hobbies, friend groups etc. is attractive. If he has his shit together and isn’t using a relationship as a bandaid to heal deep rooted dissatisfaction with himself.

SmakeTalk · 2022-07-24T04:52:15+00:00

It’s more than just what’s on paper.

Certain attributes like status and objective attractiveness can make it easier for women to find you attractive but you still need to be fun to be around and charming. Attributes and “facts” about you get you through the door but you won’t get much further if you have no soft skills.

SlashCo80 · 2022-07-24T08:58:30+00:00

Looks, money, social status, charm and confidence. Good-looking sociopaths who know how to be charming and yet forceful seem to have the highest success of all.

Safe_Comb4210 · 2022-07-24T11:41:49+00:00

If he has good relationship with his parents.

AelfredRex · 2022-07-24T13:53:00+00:00

Loads of lean, college educated average men.

Average is just that... average. Just another sheep in the herd. Conformity.

bluehorserunning · 2022-07-24T13:57:43+00:00

competence

quiet self-assurance

level-headedness

reliability

gabatme · 2022-07-24T14:00:54+00:00

Having a great personality! Confident, chill, fun to be around, funny, easy to talk to (lol idk if this counts as just "one")

sacredhighpriestess · 2022-07-24T14:26:42+00:00

Being a feminist

izzzy12k · 2022-07-24T15:38:33+00:00

Things that automatically make a guy above average, in my opinion.

Height being 6ft or taller Outfit or swag, that display wealth. The appearance of being really fit Unique features, like colored eyes or dimples

Title	What trait(s) automatically puts a man above average?
Author	Inside_Media_61
Upvotes	98
Comments	424
Date	July 23, 2022 3:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w67azn/what_traits_automatically_puts_a_man_above_average/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-traits-automatically-puts-a-man-above-average.1125123 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125123

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