is it important for men and women to share political beliefs while dating?

NarniaFox · 2021-10-07T11:37:21+00:00

It depends on beliefs and how extreme they are, but generally I think it's easier to date someone with similar (political) beliefs, as they're the outcome of one's morals and core values. For example, if a person is against abortions that usually comes from their beliefs about the value of life, bodily autonomy and what is more important in this question.

Personally I'd prefer to date someone with similar beliefs or beliefs that didn't contradict mine. I couldn't deal with a person who voted/supported a party that was actively harming people in my view.

Edit: considering your edit, I'm close to the left.

back_in_blyat · 2021-10-07T14:28:55+00:00

"The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but how it thinks" - Hitchens

Center left/more libertarian atheist here. I have dated all across the board with combinations of politics and religion but at this point the only demographic I won't touch is the hard progressive "woke sjw" types that larp as activists and think any disagreement makes you evil.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-10-07T11:35:00+00:00

it is if its important to the man or woman, how can there be a blanket answer to this?

it is very important to me not that we agree on every detail, but that we share general premises about the world and the nature of reality

Philip8000 · 2021-10-07T12:24:12+00:00

Compared to many of my family members, I'm a liberal, but by reddit standards, I'm a conservative. I could date someone with different beliefs, long as she doesn't think I'm a monster for disagreeing. In these times, though, she likely wouldn't want to date me.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-10-07T13:42:54+00:00

i am right of center and i tend to date men who are also right. i don’t care about someone’s political beliefs, but in my experience, more liberal men care about political agreement than conservative men and would not want to date me.

harold_shipman_gp · 2021-10-07T11:58:14+00:00

Depends on the issue. I have very left wing beliefs on some things, very right wing beliefs on others. Some of them are dealbreakers, others aren't.

DaMilan · 2021-10-07T12:25:35+00:00

Given on how in my experience political beliefs correlate extremly well with certain personality traits, attitudes and approaches to life, yes, it is pretty important.

Thinkingard · 2021-10-07T12:27:48+00:00

I didnt think so in the past but today people are a lot more radical and so I dont think its a good idea for a LTR.

Playful_Art_5364 · 2021-10-07T12:59:31+00:00

At this point political beliefs have become basically at the same level as religious for some folks. So yes

GuitarsBack · 2021-10-07T13:43:12+00:00

Lol, a friend just told me about a week ago that his left leaning girlfriend said "I am not sure if I can be with somebody who votes for [a center-right party]".

He doesn't like that she's left-leaning but he doesn't really care.

So, yeah, that's one anecdote for your theory that left-leaning people care more about the political views of their partners.

Cimorene86 · 2021-10-07T11:57:22+00:00

I'm a centrist, so get along okay with both right and left wing moderates. People firmly on their specific side are usually like oil and fire though lol.

I think it's important for men and women to share basic similar views when together, but not necessarily 100% of the party lines. So long as you can agree on the core values/beliefs, that's all that really matters.

This goes for religious and social issues too, not just political. Like, I'm an atheist and my FWB is what I'd call a "questioning Christian", which is where I was in my late teens and early 20s. We can have lighthearted debates about god and afterlife stuff. I could never date a truly religious person of any faith though. Just like I could never date a full on democrat or republican.

gkom1917 · 2021-10-07T11:55:33+00:00

For me absolutely. Either no interest in politics at all, or views similar to mine. What's the point of being with a person who you either constantly fight with, or avoid mentioning some topics at all? Dating implies at least some level of personal connection, and opposite beliefs make it significantly harder.

mindsanitizer · 2021-10-07T13:24:15+00:00

My wife went all-in on liberal insanity (identity politics and anti-Trump fervor) during the Trump years. I'm liberal (socially, economically) but am a materialist and believe that class and money are the main drivers of inequality. She interpreted that as being basically a Nazi. It did a huge amount of damage to the marriage.

ChocolateSharp · 2021-10-07T11:46:49+00:00

Yes, it is important. No, I wouldn't. Because it will look like woody allen movie, and since 2016 general public seems to not like woody allen movies.

Lameador · 2021-10-07T12:16:49+00:00

While dating ? Not so much. But if the date turns into a serious relationship then it becomes essential

yelo777 · 2021-10-07T12:49:24+00:00

- If politics is unimportant to both, date.
- If politics is important to both partners, don't date.
- If politics is important to to one partner, don't date.

Consider myself right (by European standards)

upalse · 2021-10-07T13:10:06+00:00

Nah. It's more important to be open minded about peoples beliefs in general.

modidlee · 2021-10-07T13:26:49+00:00

When you realize that in the US the two political parties are really just playing on people's ideologies and they're really the same you won't get all shook up about someone having different political allegiances. Think I'm wrong? You can see Dems and Repubs partying and doing everything else together. If they were really opposed to each other's beliefs they wouldn't wanna be around each other, period.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-10-07T14:59:11+00:00

It's absolutely important to me, I could never share my life with someone I am diametrically opposed to. That's a recipe for conflict of the highest order, particularly for someone like me who is Childfree. There's no compromising on kids, and I wouldn't be able to sleep with a man who would protest if I needed an abortion or chose to get sterilized.

I am on the left, if that wasn't obvious.

silent36 · 2021-10-07T15:51:57+00:00

I was one of those people who screamed VOTE! But now it really is a farce. They are playing chess in government and we have no real pieces on the board.

I used to exclude republicans but as long as my partner realizes some of us get fxcked up starts and need a helping hand to even find some boots to even pull the straps on, I’ll rock with.

Lots0souL · 2021-10-08T05:48:33+00:00

Not at all. Mature adults should be able to disagree amicably. The tribalism our world is facing is the result of a pathetic, emotionally and intellectually stunted society.

Liberal_On_Guns · 2021-10-07T13:03:19+00:00

Depends on the overlap. My wife isn't really political at all, even though I am fairly interested in the subject. However, she shares my values.

That's honestly my preference. I see people on here (mostly women) always talk about wanting a partner they can engage in philosophical and intellectual discussions with. For the most part they overestimate themselves in this realm. If I want that, I can find it. It's not something I need in a wife.

LowValueMail · 2021-10-07T12:19:21+00:00

Yes. It is very important that both at least feel like they’re on the same side.

Matt_Door · 2021-10-07T12:21:56+00:00

I think they should generally over lap, not completely but your general world views should align. And maybe some areas are less negotiable than others. I couldn’t be with any kind of devout religious woman, but I could handle some woo-woo new age shit. Same with politics, I couldn’t be with some one extreme right or extreme left, but I can be with your average right or left voter.

Otherwise, you don’t really want someone too similar to yourself, do you? Not that stimulating, and you don’t get any alternate perspective

januaryphilosopher · 2021-10-07T12:28:43+00:00

I'm a centrist (the kind with many views that happen to be on opposing "sides") and have been into people across the left-right political spectrum, currently datinga socialist. Political parties are slightly different where I'm from though and I wouldn't really want to date anyone who fully supported one of our main two parties (one is a reformed paramilitary organisation the other are hardcore religious conservatives). There are some political issues that are connected to personal morals and compatibility on those is important but I don't believe you need to be either left or right to have a particular stance on them.

a14deadpool · 2021-10-07T14:15:43+00:00

Yes and no. Never talk about personal stuff on the first date. No religion or politics. Especially if you just want to bang. But if you’ve been dating each other for a while and she mentions it or you want to talk about it that’s fine.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-10-07T14:52:23+00:00

They’re operating on different ideas of fairness, so it won’t work

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-10-07T15:40:01+00:00

It's only important when either you or your partner are on the extreme parts of the political spectrum. The problem is that a lot of people seem to get more extreme nowadays. People on the left seem increasingly intolerant, unaccepting of any deviation from their opinions, making the mad conservatives of the last century look like an open minded crowd which is worrying.

Of course, having plenty of overlap helps. But I am of the opinion that you don't have to always agree on everything to get along. I love some good discussion as long as it doesn't have to become a to-the-death argument.

As for my own position, I'd probably describe myself as moderate right libertarian.

Glarkin42 · 2021-10-07T16:30:02+00:00

I wouldn't date a woman who believed in national, cultural, economic or racial self destruction.

duffmanhb · 2021-10-07T17:17:22+00:00

Nope. Long as they aren’t woke or some hardcore magatard it’s cool. I just avoid brain rot in general

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-07T18:23:30+00:00

As a progressive, I'd never date a conservative. Our morals are too fundamentally different.

superlurkage · 2021-10-07T19:25:34+00:00

Why are values and morals not important?

Lateralanouncer · 2021-10-07T19:37:17+00:00

Definitely. I love a good open discussion from all perspectives. My line is at closed minded people. I don’t vote or follow politics so that helps.

Cedo_Alteram · 2021-10-07T19:37:55+00:00

I think it depends on just how far into left/right cultures they are, moreso than their beliefs.

IcarusKiki · 2021-10-07T21:47:20+00:00

i would be down to date someone who disagrees with me politically as long as he can back up his views and be open to discussion

TomorrowsWar · 2021-10-07T11:52:28+00:00

It is important to me. If our values don’t align you won’t get my time.

throwaway1643 · 2021-10-07T12:00:17+00:00

Not as I get older.

I’m a very moderate centrist (lean left on social issues, right on economic issues). My girlfriend is very liberal/progressive.

We do get into disagreements but by and large have decided to avoid talking about politics and to focus on important things like being happy

TheEndTrend · 2021-10-07T13:54:56+00:00

I’m (mostly) Libertarian and have dated both conservative and liberal women. My views align slightly more with conservative ones, but not so much on social issues since I am very socially liberal (do whatever you want as long as it’s not hurting anyone).

Mostly I can’t stand the victim mindset, angry feminism, and whole “white men are the problem” bullshit from liberal women. If she has tatts, a nose ring, and neon hair it’s an instant “no” for me.

OldStorageUnit · 2021-10-07T13:43:36+00:00

I have to be with someone who either has no developed strong opinion on the matter or leans far left like I do. Not only does that give me less or a headache, I find myself simply more attracted to left leaning or politically questioning men. Similar values are important, and they can predict a partners behavior in future situations.

I broke things off with a guy who was a “Blue Lives Matter” type of person during the protests. He was kind but also a bit naive and sheltered. I then also dated a self proclaimed “enlightened centrist” who was simply insufferable to be around. Things broke off with him as he demanded unreciprocated sexual favors constantly.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-10-07T13:07:58+00:00

Relatedly; would you date someone with opposite beliefs to your own? Why or why not?

Opposite? Whats the opposite of being a libertarian.

Extreme far right.

Just about everything on the left these days.

Oppression, suppression, violence, lies, censorship, coercion.

So yes, anyone like that is a horrible person or too dumb to realize it.

gofigure62 · 2021-10-07T13:11:32+00:00

It depends on how much each individual valued politics and their political identity.

Personally, I'm pretty disgusted by the two party system and how people religiously defend one side. Logic should dictate that life is more complicated than "one or the other". I wouldn't romantically be interested in a person who was brainwashed into the "lesser of two evils" mantra. In my experience people that indoctrinated aren't people that I'd be able to talk to or have much in common with.

trashrelations · 2021-10-07T13:27:43+00:00

i tried, for years, it sucked. my advice is to stay in your lane. unless you're just hooking up. just don't date crazy.

M3taBuster · 2021-10-07T14:13:46+00:00

We don't need to agree on every issue, but political beliefs are a manifestation of one's core values and beliefs, and of those, we absolutely do need to share.

Personally, I'm an anarcho-capitalist, and I'd be happy as long as my partner was generally right-of-center.

ShinyBronze · 2021-10-07T14:40:46+00:00

In this day in age where the term politics also encompasses social issues and has all but become someone’s identity after they turn 25, in don’t think it’s possible.

Especially if you live in US, which is super divided and always will be from now on.

When it’s life or death, it’s safe to assume it’ll be a dealbreaker.

vial_of_music · 2021-10-07T14:44:07+00:00

No I wouldn’t. I’m fairly liberal and so is my partner.

Crook56 · 2021-10-07T15:03:05+00:00

I could date from “boring run of the mill socialist” to left of center. Politics are super important to me, but I’d rather focus on local politics then national. At the local level, getting someone to agree with you isn’t as big of a pain, cause what rational being doesn’t want a pothole filled.

kcam3114 · 2021-10-07T15:14:54+00:00

It wasn’t 10 years ago when people could disagree and still respect each other.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-10-07T15:17:50+00:00

As a dude, all most women want to hear is their idea parroted back at them with enough difference to convince her you have your own brain…

Hence why most dudes don’t really talk politics. Easier to just lie for the short term if you only want her for the short term…

An LTR… you can make it work if you’re both mature about it. But people nowadays are so polarized and immature that it holds them back from tons of shit they don’t even realize

Enchanting_Smith · 2021-10-07T15:24:25+00:00

I would say yes unless neither are politically inclined then no. I, personally, married my husband who was a centrist and I was heavily right leaning from familial influence - wasn't a problem, we agreed on what mattered and shared perspective that helped the othee grow on smaller issues of either side. Most people who could be bothered, will be, and it will come up as an argument especially if theyre working towards marriage. I would not advise marrying into a different religion or political affiliation because you always end up:

wanting to change your person after a false implication you accept then as they are thinking you need to change and end up going through deep disturbance due to social pressure or lack of boundaries.

It's not required for success, but I would absolutely say important and a huge factor in success.

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-07T16:13:49+00:00

It is important to me, but it’s also my job. I could not date someone who was not supportive of my life’s work.

sine120 · 2021-10-07T16:19:38+00:00

I'm left wing except for a select topics. For me, yeah it matters, and the level of importance goes up if I plan on raising kids with the person or not. It's not just limited to politics, but also things like religion, morals weigh a heavy importance. I don't want to be preached to at home, I don't want to be subjected to conspiracy theories at home, and I especially don't want my potential child to be raised in that kind of environment.

pink-summer-sky · 2021-10-07T16:19:59+00:00

No, I wouldn't. I don't have time to argue with someone about fundamental and core beliefs. My partner and I agree politically on 90% of things and are able to have healthy, constructive, and even persuasive debates on different issues because we at least have similar core beliefs. It's a dynamic that I prefer.

In my early 20s, I dated this ultra wealthy guy in my friend group who was fun & liked to drink and go out, but was super Republican and conservative. He had absolutely no respect for my worldview whatsoever and one morning we got into a gigantic fight while watching the news, lmao. It wasn't worth it and I'm glad we never slept together because after that morning we never talked again. He is now a lawyer working for an oil company in Texas, as was his dad while we were dating over a decade ago.

Prize-Many-9406 · 2021-10-07T16:39:55+00:00

I mean I probably could never date a MAGA loving lady just not my vibe

not_cinderella · 2021-10-07T16:44:13+00:00

Yes. I could never date someone who didn’t agree with me on the big social/political issues. LGBTQ rights, abortion rights, those kind of things. I’m left leaning. I could date someone centrist or left, but definitely not someone on the right.

wtknight · 2021-10-07T17:05:47+00:00

I doubt that I could date anyone too close to either end of the horseshoe. I could tolerate someone far left much more than far right, though, since my economic ideology is pretty leftist. Most of the Republican Party is way too right wing now, so most likely nobody who identifies as “Republican”.

06534956 · 2021-10-07T19:19:43+00:00

Values are more important to me than anything.

People fall on a spectrum when it comes to political beliefs… I’ve dated 2A red-blooded traditional republicans, PC liberal SJW cucks, and all in between.

I don’t tend to have political discussions with anyone. I write myself in if I vote. I’d say I’m an anarchist.

f1vepointoh · 2021-10-07T20:47:18+00:00

I could never date a socialist all she would do is put her hand out

KirthWGersen · 2021-10-07T21:08:39+00:00

The last few months I have been dating an American woman who is a Trump supporter and an antivaxxer. Quite antithetical to my own views.

Its a good thing though. Every time she talks about politics just makes me want to fuck her harder.

heyitsjeape · 2021-10-07T21:10:09+00:00

I don't know the first thing about politics so I sure hope not. Of course, I don't date so it doesn't matter.

ClownBoro · 2021-10-07T23:09:45+00:00

Not in an absolute way, it's some mix of politics and personality types. A "laid back" Republican might get along with the average moderate liberal, at least in terms of politics, while someone else with the same beliefs who constantly brings up politics and pushes things might be incompatible with a much larger swathe of people. I've seen plenty of politically mixed couples do fine - it's only when one or the other partner gets really "into" their politics that it drives couples apart (Trump probably led to a lot of breakups/divorces).

In my experience you'll more regularly find "true believer" types among urbanite liberals - they'll cut off family, friends, whatever, in their purity spiral, conservatives are more likely to just shrug their shoulders and/or (purposefully) agitate the person, but I've seen it across the spectrum. "Leftists" (actual socialists etc) are kind of a mixed bag, the extreme religious right will cut people off but they don't have much interest with interacting with people outside their group in the first place.

Personally I don't care too much whether my partner is right, left, or centrist but the "stereotypical" corporate liberal is a no go as are a few issues like immigration and race. I consider myself economically left and socially right (to an extent).

JumboJetz · 2021-10-08T00:55:27+00:00

Myself as an atheist did date a more religious woman (nothing crazy but did believe in god and had a family that went to church) many years ago. It worked out fine because, to her credit, she was willing to listen and put up with the fact I thought her views were stupid. If she was super religious it wouldn’t have worked.

speakofthedea · 2021-10-08T03:38:35+00:00

I have tried dating people with strong opposing beliefs from mine, and based on those experiences, I now only date people who share most of my political beliefs. I am a liberal woman.

bordstol · 2021-10-08T09:00:33+00:00

I think most mature people should be close to the middle. I'm a bit to the right of that and the woman I date is usually a bit to the left. Which I think is due to the differences between masculinity and femininity. I think that's a good balance and has never been an issue.

cuckspace · 2021-10-08T09:07:35+00:00

Generally the left is intolerant of any opposing viewpoints and wants them out of sight. The right is used to having their views disregarded and caricatured in public discussion, education, the media etc. so the expectations for pure agreement are not high.

Lonelybuthopeful9 · 2021-10-08T12:02:44+00:00

I personally cant date a girl that dont want to re establish Umayyad Caliphate

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-10-08T13:40:50+00:00

Personally don't care about someone's political opinion, mainly because politics in the US is beyond ridiculous and reduced to people cheering for their favorite football team. The only thing that matters

Are you a nutcase?
Are you someone with no moral compass or a psychopath?

Outside of that nothing else matters.

midwestufohunter · 2021-10-08T21:32:54+00:00

Depends on your values. Lots of people don’t care. Go find them.

Flowerlady555 · 2021-10-08T21:36:35+00:00

Policy is a matter of life and death. If I think it is unacceptable to have millions of people go without healthcare or affordable housing, or to breath polluted air and drink toxic water, I am not going to be with someone who dissmisses all of that death snd suffering by saying what is really a moral outrage is raising taxes on rich people. You are entitled to disagree with people. You are not entitled to be with people you disagree with. Why do conservatives want left leaning women in the first place? Are there not enough women in the right to maintain a breeding population? That's scary for their future.

Flowerlady555 · 2021-10-08T21:59:09+00:00

If we disagree on matters of life and death, just debating you is asking for a lot. I am not going to spend my life with someone I think lacks basic human compassion. Why do conservatives want to be with leftist so bad? Is there not enough women on the right to maintain a stable breeding population? Geese, thats scary for their future.

BruddaMSK · 2021-10-09T10:03:26+00:00

I'm moderate right and it depends a lot on which believes we're talking about. Generally I don't think people should share same views to date yet there are extreme things.

chilikettlechips · 2021-10-07T12:06:56+00:00

https://preview.redd.it/tb97m0m15vr71.png?width=727&auto=webp&s=cd61ee3526179bf17926bc251c2adaf8dc2272a1

I only date people that are class conscious pilled.

Meritocracy pilled can go choke on their boot straps.

CloudBerryPunch · 2021-10-07T11:45:07+00:00

To me it is, I'd never date someone with opposite beliefs but I'd be open to someone who was more moderate.

Rosifer433d · 2021-10-07T12:26:38+00:00

You do realize that there are people who aren't taking the vaccine because they don't like the politician who is urging them to take the vaccine, right? What do you think happens when a man and a woman with 2 different political parties are going to turn out as a couple when they don't agree with each other's ideloigies?

miketrance · 2021-10-07T12:40:45+00:00

I wouldn't be with someone that can't see nuance. If you're on the poles of either side that usually means you're either too stupid or too indoctrinated to see that issues and solutions aren't nearly as easy as either side presents them to be.

CFinCanada · 2021-10-07T13:08:32+00:00

Personally, I would say I would not, having done this myself when I was younger and having found it was a mistake.

I understand that young people need space to explore and learn things themselves though through experience.

I dated someone who I assumed was more progressive than he was... he said that Trayvon Martin should have known better than to wear a hoodie at night and said some things to me which were very offensive about gay people and homosexuality. My oldest friend is a gay male.

I found myself deeply resenting him and I just didn't respect his intellect. He also had hygiene issues which became apparent after we moved in together, but I'm willing to consider that that's unrelated.

Anyway, that was the guy I ended up cheating on. So no, I wouldn't do it again, date a guy with divergent views (not that I did it knowingly the first time).

I'm on the left of the political spectrum if you can't tell. I took the political spectrum test and came back bang in the middle of the line on the left side of the quadrant and right on the line between libertarian and authoritarian as well, "moderate leftist" is what it said.

My boyfriend of 6.5 years and I rarely disagree (or perhaps even never?) on matters of political opinion. He's publicly more tactful and diplomatic than I am and comes across very chill and easygoing, so people would never know it, but he's actually to the left of me socially and politically. He is private about his views and prefers to vote with his feet. He won't have debates with people he disagrees with politically, he will just stop talking to them out of disgust. His entire family is anti-Trump. I am very comfortable with them.

flamingoinghome · 2021-10-07T13:39:27+00:00

I'm far left by US standards, centrist by the standards of where I live now.

I do think it's important, because shared values are important in a relationship.

I would date a moderate Tory, or a Rockefeller Republican who doesn't support the current antics, but someone who isn't pro choice/is against LGBT rights/ is anti-immigrant/ is a climate denier/ has politics that are just racism is a Hard No. I also couldn't date a straight-up communist.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-10-07T12:35:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

poppy_blu · 2021-10-07T13:26:23+00:00

Depends on what the beliefs are.

Could I date a man who calls himself conservative because he’s doesn’t believe government spending is the answer to everything and some liberal policies have indeed been train wrecks? Sure.

Could I date a man who call himself conservative because he hates blacks, gays and immigrants? No.

It gets trickier with marriage. You ideally want someone who shares the values you want impart in your children. But even when you share political values you aren’t going to agree on everything.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-10-07T12:22:42+00:00

Relatedly; would you date someone with opposite beliefs to your own? Why or why not?

No. Because conservatives are all shit human beings with the intelligence of a rock.

Edit

I'm a socialist.

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-10-07T14:20:00+00:00

If they care 🚩🚩🚩 for LTR

Just avoid the subject & keep it casual.

Well adjusted ppl aren’t engrossed in politics.

Cuntwaffe3 · 2021-10-07T21:10:40+00:00

No way. Most leftist/liberal men tend to be pussies.

I'm more centrist/right(alt right if you want to get spicy)

Transmigratory · 2021-10-07T12:50:43+00:00

Normal people who can compromise, not so much. To the socially maladjusted like those in this sub, it matters.

purplish_possum · 2021-10-07T13:01:16+00:00

If I find out that the woman I'm with is a right-wing nut job I'm bouncing. Any woman who voted for Trump has a psyche I'm not prepared to deal with.

majani · 2021-10-07T14:05:50+00:00

Forget the posturing in this thread. There are studies that show that most women fall in line with their husband's voting patterns once they get married.

abaxeron · 2021-10-07T12:34:46+00:00

Not important at all; arguing with women about politics is at best a useless act. To express our political opinions, we have elections. Talk to a girl about politics today, and 20 years later she gets to feminist meeting and tells journos how 20 years ago her BF pressured her into voting a certain way.

Evenly plastered between center-right and far-right.

andudetoo · 2021-10-07T12:41:05+00:00

Conservatives basically all of them hold believes that are against my values. Religion, tradition, tribes, views on women. So no.

Skycat9 · 2021-10-07T13:39:22+00:00

Absolutely no way on earth would I date a Tory or anyone right leaning, though it’s conceivable that I would sleep with them. Political beliefs are a red line for me

GridReXX · 2021-10-07T13:45:35+00:00

it it if its important to the man or woman, how can there be a blanket answer to this?

it is very important to me not that we agree on every detail, but that we share general premises about the world and the nature of reality

Imma just copy/paste Atlas and co-sign Poppy.

Also if your “political belief” is “gays are trash, poors are trash, everyone with an arrest record deserves to rot in prison, and women belong in the kitchen in silence” then sure. We are not aligned.

I’m an independent. I vote per issue. If I care. I don’t really care about political identities.

introverted_dropout · 2021-10-07T13:55:47+00:00

It absolutely matters. Conservatives are not very intelligent, and are definitely not hot.

I identify as left leaning center.

tropicsGold · 2021-10-07T20:19:39+00:00

My main political belief is that people who work hard for their money should be able to keep most of it, and that politicians are almost universally thieves and con men, and that they absolutely should not be given money, except to the barest minimum. This makes me a right wing extremist to most on the left.

And I have found that most of the left absolutely will not tolerate anything short of total conformity to every dictate made, the slightest hesitation and you are branded a right wing fringe extremist hate group.

Since I am definitely not a conformist, I can’t imagine having a relationship with someone on the left. I would not have a problem with them, but I think they would absolutely reject me as not fitting into their mold.

Think I am exaggerating? Ask Dave Chappell. Ask Trump, who was, 6 or 7 years ago, a widely beloved businessman and celebrity. Now he is worse than Satan. The left today allows for zero tolerance. Of anything. You either conform absolutely, or you absolutely shut up, or you are targeted for destruction.

It is a really sad state of affairs. It has only been this way the last 10-15 years. Social media is super toxic

AutoModerator · 2021-10-07T11:28:11+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2021-10-07T11:54:35+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

cruciod · 2021-10-07T12:48:40+00:00

I'm more of a libertarian but none of my political opinions are so strong that I wouldn't get along with moderate lefties/righties. Anyone who's strongly either, however, I don't think I could be with. I think political extremes either lack compassion or realism.

Edit: since this sometimes falls into politics, my deal-breaker is religion. They must be an atheist/agnostic, not even someone who's just non-practising.

nationearthdotcom · 2021-10-07T13:07:29+00:00

I mostly support the ideas of anarcho-syndicalism. I would prefer someone who is at least a few points left of center and a few points down the y axis but they don’t need to be smashing cop car windows and occupying the stock exchange, just generally believe that healthcare should be a human right and not get angry at the fact that some people receive food stamps. I find tankies, libertarians, fascists, moderates, liberals, neoliberals, conservatives radfems and fundamentalists to be incompatible with me.

I do think that leftists tend to care more simply because our platform is one of progress and if you’re not moving forward you’re going to get left behind.

Simply put indifference is easier which is why conservatives can say that a woman shouldn’t have autonomy over her body and then go on to say "why can’t we all get along?"

I will also add that leftists tend to be much less shallow, so guys complaining about your height being a barrier to dating, date that chick reading Rosa Luxembourg, you might just find yourself smooching at the food not bombs rally while you’re planning your honeymoon to Chiapas, Mexico

FlamingZebraFace · 2021-10-07T13:41:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

goatismycopilot · 2021-10-07T13:52:27+00:00

Here in the US I would not date an avid Trump supporter. I do not necessarily need to share down to the detail the exact same nuance of beliefs but nor do I subscribe to the whole opposites attract theory either.

For an LTR at least there has to be common ground and political beliefs are a part of that.

For casual dating it is pretty rare I have found a Trumpy attractive so not much of an issue.

Mark_Freed · 2021-10-07T14:06:30+00:00

I think politics is a reflection of your values IF your political opinions are informed. So it would matter if she had really thought about these issues. If she was just parroting talking points she heard then I would try to work with her and see if we can reach some understanding.

Most people have not spent much time or energy on these questions. They have internalized that X is the position that "good" people take. How many pro-life or pro-choice people have thought about what human rights are, why we respect a person's right to life, what it means to be alive, to be a human, and when a fetus feels pain? We have people on the left who don't think babies deserve rights minutes before she is born, then we have people on the right who think the potential for life even when there is no self-awareness or can feel pain is sufficient to get these rights at the expense of the mother's human rights. I can understand the right being religiously brainwashed but the left also seem brainwashed when they oppose gestational limits.

So being intelligent and rational are important but along with that, we need to share values. So after helping her spend some time on issues, I would need her to at least reach a point where she can appreciate my position. This will affect a lot of shared decisions we make, the lifestyle we live, the kind of house we buy, the location we settle down in, her priority between career and family, what values we pass onto our kid, alternative medicine? how much privacy do we need in our relationship, sex positivity, etc.

So being intelligent and rational are important but along with that, we need to share values. So after helping her spend some time on issues, I would need her to at least reach a point where she can appreciate my position. This will affect a lot of shared decisions we make, the lifestyle we live, the kind of house we buy, the location we settle down in, her priority between career and family, what values we pass onto our kid, alternative medicine? how much privacy do we need in our relationship, sex-positivity, etc.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-10-07T14:48:01+00:00

I think yes, ESPECIALLY if they're planning to have kids and it also depends on just how passionately you actually care about that stuff. Now I think when you're just dating and you're just dating casually and just having fun or if you're dating and you're serious but you're one of those DINK couples I think it matters a lot less

rosesonthefloor · 2021-10-07T14:48:07+00:00

I’ve tried to date several people who’s personal political beliefs did not totally match with mine. I try not to to dismiss people just because we don’t agree on something.

Unsurprisingly, I only lasted a significant amount of time with the guy who was also the most diplomatic (ha) about it. We delved into some topics but mostly didn’t get too deep as it wasn’t really necessary to do so.

We don’t have to agree on everything but I don’t want to listen to your anti-vax dad rant about covid rules and Trump every weekend, sorry. We’re not even American.

I’m centrist leaning left.

coolyandere · 2021-10-07T15:09:42+00:00

Here, how I see it, politics is now dangerous. Only the select few should be thinking about deep problems in a society. I go for people with good hearts. Good thing is, the political spectrum narrow it down for me.

I date people who are non-political and have common sense. Three things you need in a relationship are attraction, personality, spiritual connection.

jimjimmy112233445566 · 2021-10-07T15:19:45+00:00

I wouldn't date a woman whose political views I'd disagree with

DjangoUBlackBastard · 2021-10-07T15:30:40+00:00

I think it's extremely important because your political beliefs are a reflection of your values and having the same values is like the biggest positive needed

spinsterchachkies · 2021-10-07T15:42:03+00:00

Yes it’s important. No I wouldn’t date someone with opposite beliefs than my own. It would cause too much tension in the relationship. Anyone too far to one side of the political spectrum is too radical for me. I don’t know what to call myself politically these days because I think both parties in America suck. Moderate.

FatPam007 · 2021-10-07T16:00:59+00:00

Absolutely. I mean, it depends but yeah. You can be dating someone from the right if you're left and vice versa. Imagine you're a feminist leftist inmigrant animal life defensor vegan woman and you date an extreme right wing man that wants his woman to be a mother and woman of the 50s, loves to go hunt bears and deers, eats meet and it's antiinmigrant. LOL.

Pap0Man_ · 2021-10-07T16:41:50+00:00

date or LTR, no. smash definitely yes

Komaric_ · 2021-10-07T16:54:43+00:00

It would be very difficult for me to relate to someone with a different moral compass. I'm very far-left and quite engaged in politics

IOportA · 2021-10-07T16:55:20+00:00

It's important for women, not men.

women are much more of a hivemind that way.

Legaladesgensheu · 2021-10-07T17:58:10+00:00

I think this only matters for LTRs. When it comes to ONS most people don't really care about political beliefs.

I scale high on openness and I like political debate (as do many people that frequent this sub) so I would date someone who has some opposing political beliefs, as long as they are open-minded and not dogmatic about them too. I mean, I don't think I know the perfect political answers to all political problems and I belief there are good arguments for both sides in most cases (I am very much politically left but I do believe that the political right has some good arguments too). In the end the question is if we can agree on some core ethical and moral values.

That being said, for the average person I think political beliefs are more important when it comes to LTRs. Most people don't like to discuss politics on a regular basis and prefer to stay in their own political bubble (and like reassurance of their political positions etc.) - this all regardless of gender.

batinex · 2021-10-07T17:59:48+00:00

It depends. In other countries there are multiple parties so it is easier. In USA I think you can have contradicting views in one party (see Bernie and sinema). I think it is much harder there because you kind of fight for life and death

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-10-07T18:48:49+00:00

Generally yes for me.

Political beliefs are a reflection of your core values. And to me my partner has to share the same(or at least compatible) core values. Otherwise how do we share a life or raise our children?

I am pro-choice and could never live with someone prolife.

I can deal with someone on the same political spectrum as I am (they can be a bit to the right or left of me) but they have to have compatible beliefs.

LowCreddit · 2021-10-07T19:41:35+00:00

Political beliefs? Not really. Religious beliefs and socioeconomics are far more important. I am married to someone who is the opposite of my politics and it's not a big deal. We agree on the important things and she tolerates my poor upbringing.

_that_dam_baka_ · 2021-10-07T19:43:43+00:00

I wouldn't recommend it. The question is why they believe certain things. Are there values or personal benefits?

Centre. Will lean wherever it makes sense. Currently right leaning. (Like, don't kill LGBT people or send them to electrocution therapy, but you're not a bigot if you don't identify.)

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-10-07T22:58:36+00:00

It is important especially if children are involved. I wouldn't want to raise a child only to find out how their mother teaches them about something I detest. Political beliefs are held due to your morals among other reasons after all.

slavicslothe · 2021-10-07T23:01:38+00:00

Not really but some political beliefs are red flags. Would you want really to be in a relationship with a member of the taliban? I don't. Far right types who want a trad wife just want someone to abuse. Why would anyone who isn't stupid get with one?

It goes for the left too, like the tanky types, just don't be an extremist who ruins everything all the time. MRAs, incels, puas, redpillers, and mgtows who talk about that shit in real life all get ostrisized so why would anyone wanna be with them? They suck.

foreblue · 2021-10-08T06:14:38+00:00

Temperament + open-mindedness are more important to me than specific politics. By open-mindedness, I don’t mean she should be willing to change her opinion on specific issues. More so that she can listen to reasoning and try to understand a different thought process without freaking out.

My views are spread around so you really couldn’t peg me down based on just a few of them. But I do tend very far right. Whether someone would continue to date me or not is its own test. A leftist that would date someone that voted for Donald Trump sounds much more interesting to me than a centrist moralizer.

AWDys · 2021-10-10T07:44:52+00:00

If you're familiar with the political compass, i'm at -3 to libertarian and 0.5 to the right. This represents an average of my views, and my beliefs about any particular topic might quite a bit more extreme than that.

If you're not familiar with it, I'd describe myself as a classical liberal.

Its not important to share politics, but to be similar enough on important things like parenting and being able to discuss it fairly and calmly. I love talking about politics or controversial topics with friends.

Consequently, when I started dating my so, she was significantly more to the left than I was and was much more in favour of authoritarian governments. As long as the politics aren't too different and we can debate it fairly, it doesn't really matter.

Stomach-Competitive · 2021-10-10T09:36:49+00:00

I’m on the left politically (but I’m from a moderate right wing family and area that’s swung further right in recent years). I can’t date someone who’s beliefs are the complete opposite of mine; but my boyfriend is closer to center-left than me, so there’s some things we disagree on. But we either agree to disagree or find some common ground with issues we disagree on.

However, I don’t feel safe saying that I’m an atheist when a new coworker asks what church I go to, or expressing my political opinions at work like my coworkers do daily - which includes accusing even moderate right wingers of being “American hating Liberals.”

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2021-10-07T23:21:17+00:00

Ya, as long as they are reasonable and rationale in the way they advocate for them, IDC if she is a full blown Nazi.

Title	is it important for men and women to share political beliefs while dating?
Author	FlamingZebraFace
Upvotes	47
Comments	449
Date	October 7, 2021 11:28 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q3712h/is_it_important_for_men_and_women_to_share/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-important-for-men-and-women-to-share.1076922 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076922

Comments