Weekly Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-04-12T20:00:20+00:00

This weekly thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc......

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none of that says he was a great romantic partner. it says he’s probably a smart, hardworking, and handy man who’s also a good dad. just because a man is a good friend or a good dad or a good worker doesn’t automatically mean he’s a good husband. i’ve seen examples of where the man is great on paper, but not so much irl. or the man seems nice to everyone who doesn’t have to deal with him when he’s at home, comfortable enough to take his daily mask off.

maybe she wanted some kind of emotional fulfillment he wasn’t able to provide. maybe they were incompatible in the end. maybe she felt mistreated.

maybe she felt like he wasn’t home enough? silly as it sounds, a lot of women say they want a high-earning/ambitious man until they find out how much time he has to spend actually working.

maybe she’s a cheater. maybe she thinks marriage and divorce is the same as getting together and breaking up. maybe she’s crazy. maybe he’s crazy and you just don’t know.

there are plenty of reasons she could choose not to be with this man. you wouldn’t understand because you’re a straight man.

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[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

This user believes that if a woman hasn’t had sex in a year that she is “asexual.”

I can think of a host of a reasons why a woman with a typical reactive female libido could have voluntarily abstained from sex for year that =! “asexual.” This “women are asexual” thing is so inaccurate.

She prefers sex within a relationship and hasn’t found a man she desires to commit to /who desires to commit to her.
She doesn’t go out much and thus hasn’t encountered a man or situation that triggered her arousal in a casual heat of the moment sense.
She did encounter someone who triggered it, but she prefers some level of relational interest before sex and he didn’t offer that so she used her hands or a vibrator.
She’s on some “peace of mind” “finding herself journey” where she abstains.

But anyway this interpretation that she is thus “asexual” is what I mean when I say that the many men of this sub have no conception of the average female libido or experience. It’s a stupendously solipsistic and male oriented lens.

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all that nice guy hate shit is where i believe the roots of the whole incel thing began. most typical nice guys are just socially maladjusted losers who watched too many movies. it seems like it started about a decade ago, there was all this hate on nice guy behavior and it just came out of nowhere, wouldnt surprise me if it was coming from tumblr. a lot of guys saw that and it really pissed them off how women were painting their social inexperienced flubs as the epitome of manipulative evil. i'm not doubting actual crazy nice guys exist, because they obviously do, but it really does seem like this whole incel thing is an evolution of the nice guy into something women already expected them to be, hateful and manipulative, its like a big "fuck you" to women. i guess you can say 'they were always like that' but i really don't think so because i watched it all unfold as the years went on.

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They aren’t not fighting back. They aren’t defending themselves. No one is actively and continually going out of their way to beat them up. They are the one who can’t take rejection well. They are the one escalating the situation. They are the one being toxic. They are the problem. They aren’t some wronged person fighting back. They are just immature babies who are whining because they can’t get what they want.

So what if they feel like outcast. That doesn’t suddenly make their actions right. Does the “monster” in your story get to burn down every village he sees from now on just because he got burned by one? If someone in a blue shirt punches me in the past, does that mean I get to push everyone I see with blue shirts on? Whenever I feel upset or hold a grudge, I can do whatever I want and cause people harm?

The person rejecting didn’t wasnt the one that did anything bad to them? The person rejecting didn’t burn them or beat them up. They just weren’t interested and said no. It’s okay for the person being asked out to be a victim even though she didn’t do anything wrong? She should just be forced to say yes against her will just because?

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[–]philomexa7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Over the past 5 years I've developed a chronic disease that would qualify me as a spoonie, and I hate that.

Every self described 'spoonie' I've met was an anxious, dramatic, overweight woman, suffering from vague ailments and of weak constitution.

And here I am, suffering from vague ailments and manifesting anxiety over it (so help me God I will not gain weight).

I have a Dx, there is no cure, if I'm lucky I'll develop profound deafness in only one ear.

I look fine and my life is humming along, but I'm relapsing and exhausted. I started a new job, we're moving, 5 y.o. is being a shit because we're moving, and covid is still fucking everything up.

Uuuggghh. All those years I took my health for granted, now I'm a spoonie that can't over exert herself. 🤬😡 For all of lockdown I was cruising; got my pilates teacher cert., vibing with my family, kicked up my fitness into instathot territory, worked on my writing, got a raise/promotion/then new job, and spent a lot of unscheduled time in nature. Now I just want to sleep for 14 hours because my body/mind are exhausted from this relapse.

Christ, I hate everything.

[–]TheBookOfSeil2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]philomexa8 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Menieres disease. TL;DR for some reason my right inner ear canals swell and rupture, thus killing my hearing and balance cells. Eventually my inner ear will become a lump of useless scar tissue, rendering me deaf in that ear and forcing the left to pick up the slack for balance and hearing (if I'm lucky enough to not have the condition spread to my left ear).

I can deal with the very loud tinnitus, aural pressure, gradual loss of hearing, it's the intense, sudden, and protracted vertigo that fucks me up. Imagine your worst drunkenness, when the world spins and you just want to puke and pass out, have it strike you randomly so you fall to floor, and then remain that way for 12 hours until your body gives out from exhaustion, confusion, and fluid loss (lots of vomit, so much vomit). Add in some brain fog and repeat for days/weeks/month until it goes into remission for no discernable reason.

The only "sucessful" treatment is a labyrinthectomy, which is just a shortcut to the end game; destruction of the inner ear, I'll be deaf but at least I won't be dizzy.

The human body is bullshit.

Eta: thank you for your kind words tho, I don't really open up about this stuff cause it's hella depressing.

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You're dodging the question.

The man who is starving would certainly appreciate the meal more and would not be bitter that he didn't get the choice.

The well fed man doesn't appreciate the food, it's a luxury. Appreciation doesn't come from abundance, like ever. If you have 10 cars you appreciate each individual car less and are less likely to work on your car at the first sign of an issue.

If the rich man found a perceived flaw in his meal he'd have zero qualms with trading it out for another meal whereas the starving man would appreciate it despite its flaws.

Same with a relationship. With infinite choices you both appreciate your relationship less and are more likely to just trade it in at the first sign of an issue.

Whereas if you don't have infinite choices you appreciate your relationship more and will try and fix it if you see an issue rather than just shrugging and grabbing a different model.

Again, this is exactly how women end up in several short term relationships.

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m not dodging anything - you expressed confusion why women think that way, and I’m trying to explain it. You keep trying to talk me out of it, and I keep telling you why what you’re saying is incorrect IME

If you think a well fed man doesn’t appreciate food, then you don’t understand the appeal of Michelin-starred restaurants. Perfectly well fed, affluent people go there all the time and have foodgasms all over the table. I’ve been lucky enough to go to a few, and not only have I experienced it, I’ve seen it

You’re assuming that someone having options somehow robs them of the primal joy of the experience of food (or sex or companionship). When, in fact, the opposite is often true - the person with options has extensive experience with meals, know what they like, and appreciate the skills that go into creating an amazing meal

The bum is just shoving McDs in their face. They may appreciate the food, but they aren’t appreciating the skill and knowledge that went into creating the meal - because there is none

And that’s fine. But I’m not interested in a man who can be satisfied by anything. I want a man who is satisfied by me, and appreciates me

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m not ignoring anything, I’m explaining why I think the way I think. Which is what you asked a woman to do in the first place

What is the impetus for a man with several options to fix a relationship that has a perceived issue rather than just getting a new one

It’s literally such human nature that we refer to it as “the devil you know.” People are very hesitant to leave relationships, because they are comfortable with what they have. It generally takes a very large, jarring incident - or a slow build of tiny infractions built up over time - to force a breakup

This is doubly true for a man with options - he knows what the alternatives are, and knows who he wants

Why in god’s name do I want a man who’s going to stick with me because he feels he has no other options? That’s literally being ok with being someone’s participation trophy

abundance breeds apathy

That’s true in the early stages of a relationship

Alas, that’s not true of human nature within relationships. Hell, it’s not even true of a man cheating on his wife - there’s a reason he wifed up one, and isn’t leaving her for any empty headed bimbo he dumps a fuck into

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m not ignoring anything, I’m explaining why I think the way I think. Which is what you asked a woman to do in the first place

Yes I suppose it was a mistake to ask for something rational or logical from a woman.

It’s literally such human nature that we refer to it as “the devil you know.” People are very hesitant to leave relationships, because they are comfortable with what they have. It generally takes a very large, jarring incident - or a slow build of tiny infractions built up over time - to force a breakup

This contradicts your statement about wanting to be chosen though doesn't it? You say you don't want to be settled for but then you say the guy won't leave you because he'll get comfortable.

This is doubly true for a man with options - he knows what the alternatives are, and knows who he wants

This is just narcissistic. Why would you assume you're the best possible option for him?

Why in god’s name do I want a man who’s going to stick with me because he feels he has no other options? That’s literally being ok with being someone’s participation trophy

Yet you just said the guy is going to stick with you because he's comfortable not out of love but complacency.

That’s true in the early stages of a relationship

Which is why I said this thought process is what gets women into several short relationships instead of one long one.

Alas, that’s not true of human nature within relationships. Hell, it’s not even true of a man cheating on his wife - there’s a reason he wifed up one, and isn’t leaving her for any empty headed bimbo he dumps a fuck into

Yes the wife is a godess and every other woman an empty headed bimbo. Good christ the arrogance

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

it was a mistake to ask for something rational or logical from a woman

This is rational and logical. The problem isn’t that I’m illogical; it’s that you can’t put yourself in the shoes of the type of man I’m discussing

This contradicts your statement about wanting to be chosen though doesn’t it?

No. Being chosen happens in the beginning of a relationship; relationship dynamics - both positive and negative - play out when there is relationship history. After the choosing happens

Why would you assume you’re the best possible option for him?

If he’s chosen me, then clearly he’s communicating that. Much like me choosing him over the rest of my options is an acknowledgment that he’s the best for me, and I’m choosing him

There’s a big difference between acknowledging the reality of a situation, and narcissism. I’m also perfectly happy to acknowledge that there are probably people out there that are better fits for both of us; however, I want him. And he wants me. The end

Yet you just said the guy is going to stick with you because he’s comfortable not out of love but complacency

That’s is laughably far off of what I said; I said that people in bad relationships are reluctant to leave their partner unless/until there is either a major event worth breaking up over, or a gradual build of small discretions (see: the movie Blue Valentine)

Not every relationship out there is bad, it’s bizarre that you think every relationship is. Most are happy, and people want to be together

Besides, like I said, choosing happens early on

this thought process is what gets women into several short relationships instead of one long one

Do you think that only people with no other options end up married for a long time? How many sexual and romantic losers do you think are out there?!

People with options commit to people for life every day. Your hamster is running wild on this

Yes the wife is a goddess and every other woman an empty headed bimbo. Good Christ the arrogance

Seeing as how he refuses to leave the wife, she’s clearly got something he values above the other women. That said, promiscuous cheating like that is a rarity for either men or women

It was a hyperbolic example designed to prove the fallacy of your point

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

it was a mistake to ask for something rational or logical from a woman

This is rational and logical. The problem isn’t that I’m illogical; it’s that you can’t put yourself in the shoes of the type of man I’m discussing

This contradicts your statement about wanting to be chosen though doesn’t it?

No. Being chosen happens in the beginning of a relationship; relationship dynamics - both positive and negative - play out when there is relationship history. After the choosing happens

Why would you assume you’re the best possible option for him?

If he’s chosen me, then clearly he’s communicating that. Much like me choosing him over the rest of my options is an acknowledgment that he’s the best for me, and I’m choosing him

There’s a big difference between acknowledging the reality of a situation, and narcissism. I’m also perfectly happy to acknowledge that there are probably people out there that are better fits for both of us; however, I want him. And he wants me. The end

Yet you just said the guy is going to stick with you because he’s comfortable not out of love but complacency

That’s is laughably far off of what I said; I said that people in bad relationships are reluctant to leave their partner unless/until there is either a major event worth breaking up over, or a gradual build of small discretions (see: the movie Blue Valentine)

Not every relationship out there is bad, it’s bizarre that you think every relationship is. Most are happy, and people want to be together

Besides, like I said, choosing happens early on

this thought process is what gets women into several short relationships instead of one long one

Do you think that only people with no other options end up married for a long time? How many sexual and romantic losers do you think are out there?!

People with options commit to people for life every day. Your hamster is running wild on this

EDIT - it’s literally in the vows. The “forsake all others” bit. For Christ’s sake man, even the church assumes that both partners have options

Yes the wife is a goddess and every other woman an empty headed bimbo. Good Christ the arrogance

Seeing as how he refuses to leave the wife, she’s clearly got something he values above the other women. That said, promiscuous cheating like that is a rarity for either men or women

It was a hyperbolic example designed to prove the fallacy of your point

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Human nature is that abundance breeds apathy. The idea that this stops being the case when it comes to relationships isn't realistic. Human nature is human nature across the board.

The idea that human nature is steady across the board except when it comes to relationships is just feel good nonsense.

People with options commit to people for life every day. Your hamster is running wild on this

I never said people with options don't commit, just that they are less likely to and less likely to do so permanently. Can you understand the difference in those statements?

That’s is laughably far off of what I said;

No it isn't.

I said that people in bad relationships are reluctant to leave their partner unless/until there is either a major event worth breaking up over, or a gradual build of small discretions (see: the movie Blue Valentine)

Don't take your view on reality from movies. That's probably a lot of the issues we're having communicating. Life isn't a movie.

I’m also perfectly happy to acknowledge that there are probably people out there that are better fits for both of us; however, I want him. And he wants me. The end

For the moment. See how you contradict yourself yet again? First it's that you want to be chosen and that by being chosen he's communicating that you're his best or favorite option.

Then it's "well sure there's probably better options but I want him and he wants me, the end"

If there are better options than HE'S SETTLING FOR YOU.

That's what you refuse to acknowledge. Your posts are just illogical contradictions probably based on media and your feelings not any logical thought processes.

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Human nature is that abundance breeds apathy

Again, going back to your very example, if that were true, then expensive restaurants wouldn’t survive

People like quality, and appreciate getting what they want. They’ll do what they need to in order to get that

I never said people with options don’t commit, just that they are less likely to and less likely to do so completely

People with zero options are literal losers, and they’re very, very few and far between

People with options get married all the time, get into relationships, get engaged, vow in front of family and friends to “forsake all others”

It’s very weird that you think losers are the default

Don’t take your view on reality from movies

I’m taking it from 25+ years of dating, fucking, and even being married for more than decade

Given that you wouldn’t know what I was talking about if I said “Greg and Erin on Main Street,” I defaulted to a movie that is available to you, as well

See how you contradict yourself yet again?

No, I don’t. The fact that you don’t understand that every step of a relationship involves being chosen is disturbing - how long was you longest LTR?

Initially, you’re chosen among options (and vice versa). Afterwards, you continue to choose each other, because your shared love and history trump a big fat unknown with someone else

No one is walking around with “soul mate” tattoo’d on their forehead. It’s perfectly reasonable to acknowledge that a better fit for you may exist somewhere in the world, and yet still choose your partner and be perfectly happy with him/her/the relationship

If there are better options than HE’S SETTLING FOR YOU

No, not at all

He’s choosing what he wants. There is no settling when a man (or woman) has a multitude of options and lots of experience. If anything, that gives them the confidence to know they’re choosing what they want

Men with very little experience are much easier to tempt into cheating, from what I have witnessed. They have FOMO

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[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not once did I say anything related to emotions. Every point I made was from a logical stand point.

Human nature=human nature, my stance.

Human nature=human nature, except when it comes to relationships, your stance.

That's the difference between logic and emotion. I am applying human nature across the board you're only doing it where convenient.

Yes ...

So you agree your analogy was bad? I'm glad.

And men with romantic/sexual riches like to flaunt their own wealth by having the best possible woman on their arm.

Again this is a fallacy for the reason I stated, the most expensive or seemingly fancy is not necessarily the best. That's where your whole stance falls apart.

Your pov is only logical if that which is most expensive is always the best, but we both know that it is not.

Look at Steve Jobs, more rich than well ever be but he wore the same shirt and pants every day, did not flaunt his wealth. Was he settling or did he just realize that perceived value isn't important to him?

The trailer trash single mom with ripped Daisy Dukes may be very sweet, but she’s not locking down a guy who can get a genuinely hot woman with no kids

That's not really relevant and goes more into unwanted baggage territory. The real test would be two women of similar appeal but from two walks of life like a college grad vs a waitress and we both know that a lot of men would not even care about the degree

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, human nature = human nature. Your understanding of human nature is flawed, however - which you admitted when you conceded that rich people will patronize expensive restaurants. Because they want what they perceive as the best

So you agree your analogy is bad

No, you agreed that yours is

If yours was correct, rich people would be flocking to McD’s or eating out of dumpsters, and expensive restaurants would fail. Alas, that’s not what happens

the most expensive or seemingly fancy is not necessarily the best

So, you’re saying that the Zagat guide and Michelin star system don’t know what they’re talking about?

Come on, man. This is laughable and you know it

Look at Steve Jobs, more rich than well ever be but he wore the same shirt and pants everyday, did not flaunt his wealth

What? Steve Jobs house had 7 bedrooms and 4.5 bathrooms. It is literally worth millions, and a lot for sale in the same area is worth $9 million

Furthermore, he tried to cure his cancer with a fancy diet, not eating McDs. Your entire analogy just fell apart because the man wore black turtlenecks regularly

That’s not really relevant and goes more into the unwanted baggage territory

No, it’s very relevant. You’re trying to say that some podunk taco joint down the street from a resort in Mexico - which may or may not follow health regulations - is somehow better than a Michelin starred restaurant

We both know a lot of men do not even care about the degree

Absolutely not, and I have argued this hear for years - despite what the low value STEM coders here think, no man is bringing an uneducated waitress to the C Suite. Men vet for education, financial stability, etc.

Frankly, any man who doesn’t is asking to get divorce raped

[–]Special-Armadillo-991 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

A study from the University of Chicago Press found that when consumers are presented with the same type of product, they base the products’ quality off the price. This is because they assume that a product is expensive because it’s better quality. If they buy the cheaper one, they’re buying poorer quality that will easily break, thus they will have to buy a second one.

Premium Pricing Companies are aware of how their consumers think, which is why many brands use this to their advantage through premium pricing. This is when a brand puts a higher price on its products compared to other brands because it gives the illusion of better quality compared to other products.

Oh weird kinda like what I said lmfao. Expensive doesn't mean better. Fish eggs are expensive doesn't mean it's good. Michelin stars are very niche and the chef world is very up its own ass they look for things like creative techniques etc not just best flavors your entire argument is based on a fallacy which I've just debunked. Hate to break it to you.

No, human nature = human nature. Your understanding of human nature is flawed, however - which you admitted when you conceded that rich people will patronize expensive restaurants. Because they want what they perceive as the best

But that doesn't disprove my point about human nature at all. I'm saying that having a lot of options means you are less likely to care much about any individual option. Rich people go to restaurants to flaunt they wealth. That is also a part of human nature but doesn't disprove that abundance breeds apathy.

There's a well known precedent called the paradox of choice.

The paradox of choice is an observation that having many options to choose from, rather than making people happy and ensuring they get what they want, can cause them stress and problematize decision-making. Barry Schwartz wrote about the negative consequences of having too many options in his 2004 book, The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less. Schwartz maintained that an overabundance of options can actually lead to anxiety, indecision, paralysis and dissatisfaction.

So having more options DOESN'T lead to more satisfaction!? JUST LIKE I'VE BEEN SAYING! Gasp!!??

Jesus christ.

Furthermore, he tried to cure his cancer with a fancy diet, not eating McDs. Your entire analogy just fell apart because the man wore black turtlenecks regularly

Wtf are you on about now? I'm trying to point out that just because you have an abundance of options doesn't mean you always choose the best or what is considered by many to be the best. Most would consider his wardrobe subpar his house doesn't change that.

If you want to argue that men instinctually value degrees your so far off the reservation I can't even understand your thought process. No man ever got a boner from a degree.

No, you agreed that yours is

LMFAO

If yours was correct, rich people would be flocking to McD’s or eating out of dumpsters, and expensive restaurants would fail. Alas, that’s not what happens

I already explained why rich people choose expensive over cheap and it's not because it's inherently better as proved by the multiple sources I've provided.

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Im just saying that my male sexuality finds feminity more lovable and even female sexuality is probably better suited to it.

well that makes sense, i think you're in the minority though (not of the former statement, i think plenty of men including bisexual and even gay men find femininity lovable -- of the latter statement, the reason being that from what i read scrolling thru the askmen thread, men have a higher libido on avg or at least are more ready to go at any time and are a lot more sex focused and better at knowing what pleases a man so that's why those relations mesh better).

the disaster that lesbian relationships are.

i went to a high school w/ a high population of LGBTQ+ folks so i know a lot of genuine lesbian/wlw relationships (that consist of either lesbians or bi women or a combo) -- a lot more than gay relationships despite having more gay male actual friends, b/c gay men often times just fuck around? but anyways the lesbian relationships i know are extremely healthy and happy, almost fairytale-like lmao. i know i heard something about DV in lesbian relationships (would need to do more research on that) but i don't think that is common (especially i guess among young women idk i just didn't see that).

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It's people that like to hear themselves that speak like this. Always with unwavering certainty, and full of opinions about lives they know nothing about.

everyone has opinions about lives they know nothing about.

Telling someone to find a partner not to focus on finding a partner is what you tell someone you don't want to see succeed.

in your opinion. those people think of their advice as helpful.

On reddit people toupee fallacy desperation a great deal precisely so they can justify shoehorning their worldview in.

okay?

It's just such a hugely unsympathetic worldview and people feel the need to repeat it because saying "idk man sucks, sorry" is really, really difficult for people. For some reason.

maybe because there are also many men complaining that no one is empathetic towards their plights or offers any advice they find helpful?

also some people are solution oriented and actually like solving problems. it’s hard for them to hear about a problem and not offer a solution.

i don’t see how it’s unsympathetic if they’re attempting to be helpful. if they didn’t care at all, they wouldn’t care to try to give advice. sure, you may feel like it’s people enjoying the sounds of their own voices; but at least recognize that through their apparently self-centered perspective, they are trying to be helpful.

like i said, at least somebody is trying to help you.

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that whole thread is more proof that there’s a decent population of women who do date then kinds of men ppd and manospherian men swear women never go for.

No lmao, how the fuck did you even reach that conclusion? Just because a post "I married a fat nerd" has 9k upvotes does not mean 9k women married a fat nerd. That's not how upvotes work. And even if 9k women did marry fat nerds that proves nothing because that's a laughable number compared to number of married women in the US and because women can marry for fifty different reasons none of which have anything to do with how attractive their partner is.

Besides all the top answers themselves are dodgy as fuck. "I believe the answer is realistic expectations and going for women who share your interests blah blah blah". Sharing interests has almost nothing to do with women wanting to fuck you, which is what the OP was asking. This is literally off topic, and it's a top post.

It's just NPCs spewing out platitudes when prompted by a keyword then upvoting similar scripts.

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No lmao, how the fuck did you even reach that conclusion? Just because a post "I married a fat nerd" has 9k upvotes does not mean 9k women married a fat nerd.

that’s not the sole reason why i came to that conclusion. i came to that conclusion before i saw the post and it was really just reaffirming what i already believed.

i can admit i’m human, i fall prey to confirmation bias too. humans are biased. it is what it is.

And even if 9k women did marry fat nerds that proves nothing because that's a laughable number compared to number of married women in the US and because women can marry for fifty different reasons none of which have anything to do with how attractive their partner is.

to me, it can be evidence that the men saying women never wanna date them because they’re ugly or nerdy or whatever are probably struggling because they don’t want to date women within their league or are repulsive for reasons other than their appearance. or maybe they’re right, maybe it is that they look like smeagol. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Besides all the top answers themselves are dodgy as fuck. "I believe the answer is realistic expectations and going for women who share your interests blah blah blah". Sharing interests has almost nothing to do with women wanting to fuck you, which is what the OP was asking. This is literally off topic, and it's a top post.

men don’t seem to understand that in order to build desire in women (when you’re not a “chad”), you have to do the things she finds romantic or make her have desirable thoughts about you. arousal begins in the mind for females.

so, in a way, she did tell him something that could help. the problem i have with it is that the advice is too specific for it to be usefully applied to multiple women.

It's just NPCs spewing out platitudes when prompted by a keyword then upvoting similar scripts.

okay. even then, i still don’t believe average or below average men are really so disadvantaged they can never have sex or relationships the way they make it seem.

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Oh please. Do you seriously not know how these social media influencers/"celebrities" make their money?

She might catch flak from Jake Paul fans, but do you think she cares? She still benefits from that. In the media, even bad publicity is still good publicity. From this incident, she's going to attract more people to her Tik-Tok to offer their support which then expands her viewer base and brings her more money from Tik-Tok or whoever is paying her to be an influencer because that's how they make their money. That's how all of these social media (and movie) stars make their money. Their fan-base is their success.

If you're at all familiar with celebrity life, you would know that they create fake drama and fake battles between other influencers and celebrities because it draws in more attention. The people get to watch a live-action drama play out like reality TV and people (for whatever reason) eat that shit up. They continue subscribing to watch and their viewers drive up their revenue, or if they're an actor, people buy tickets or pay for Netflix to watch their next movie that just so happens to be coming out soon.

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How it works in real life is that these smaller social media people do not get tons of more followers because they accuse a huge social media star of rape.

Yes, sometimes they also do it to keep followers/bring them back if they're losing followers. Really depends on the star and how much attention they're capable of raising off of an incident, so if she was losing popularity, a little media attention will perk it right up. Were you aware of that or did I need to include that part too?

Like most people here they don't believe and most of what she gets is hate.

Imagine thinking that people on the internet are mostly like people in here. This subreddit only has about 600 - 800 active users in here on average. Conflating a few hundred people in a specific internet group with hundreds of thousands of other people is going to end with your opinion not being very accurate.

She won't get sponsors from it either.

I mean I won't be looking out for it because I don't care very much, but I guess time will tell.

You made a ridiciulous statement.

Yes, of course. Then again, ridiculous things do happen to people who don't deserve it, so I'll stick with my "ridiculous statement."

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Since there is no evidence of god there is no reason to believe that he is real

Again that's not how "proof" works in the system of logic. You can either prove something or you have no proof of the claim that you're making. Having no proof does not make the claim false. It just means you can't prove that it is true or untrue. Same with statistics.

I've been telling you this whole time influencers don't get money by accusing other influencers of rape or sexual assault. And then I gave you 2 examples.

Your examples are not proof of your claim. How do you know if they didn't make any money? Did they show their earnings reports? Did their number of subscribers and viewers stay the same from before the incident and accusations happened? I already explained a few ways how influencers and streamers make their money. If they got more subscriptions and viewers from the incident and the drama in their videos, then they made money. You seem to be excluding that and saying "it only matters if they got rich from it," which I never said.

So... boom.

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I remember 2 years ago Taylor Swift turned 30 and she did this interview where she said something to the effect of

“When you’re a woman there’s always this expectation for you to settle down. People always ask when are you getting married and having kids, they don’t do that with men. Male bachelors are praised”

I had a problem with this for two big reasons lol

A.)For example When i was growing up George Clooney was like the big time bachelor in Hollywood and there are countless interviews in which people were asking when is he gonna settle down, get married, have kids etc. They do it with DiCaprio now, when are you gonna start a family etc. Every time he brings his mom to the oscars too.... It’s like goddamn leave this man alone lol.

B.)Only High status desirable men are praised for being bachelors. Everyone else who doesn’t have a GF or Wife past a certain age is mostly seen as losers or gay men in the closet. Let’s be VERY CLEAR, Nobody actually give a shit about the average or below single men with the exception of their mothers and at Certain point even they give up on them lol. At my barber shop right now I can show you several dudes who are single who ain’t no one praising...Also No one cares if they eventually get married or settle down.

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So part of it is that I am a virgin and would prefer us to be on the same level of experience especially if it is going to be a serious relationship where she could potentially be my first and last, I'd want to be hers too.

I have heard some guys say they used to care about n-count and then they slept around themselves and no longer cared or at least cared less. So it seems like for guys who do care about it they either need to get an equally inexperienced girl or sleep around and gain experience first.

That said, even if I wasn't a virgin I still think I might see the appeal in a girl being a virgin. I can't know for sure, but I think the notion of being a girl's first would still be attractive.

On some level I think just the mental image of another guy being intimate with my partner just has an ick factor to it.

I will admit insecurity and ego factors in as well which is why higher n and history of casual sex are more of a turn off than low n relationship sex.

[–]GridReXX4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bandit1742 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I will agree that women probably don't care much for a drunken one night stand, but I don't think it's rare for them to have unrequited feelings for a fuckbuddy/fwb. I think it's about as common as men having unrequited feelings for a platonic friend. I don't have an exact formula worked out for how much different scenarios turn me off. Its kinda case by case but I might prefer a girl who had 1 one night stand over a girl who has 1 relationship that lasted several years, however Id probably prefer a girl who has had one relationship over a girl who had one or several fuckbuddies.

The casual sex ick factor hits from two angles first being ego that the other guy got to be with her easier without committing and like the other person said "has been had by 30+ men and they are laughing at me". Like thats definitely a one up sort of thing that other men saw your wife/gf as an easy fuck and that she was potentially more kinky or had a different kind of sex with them. I also sometimes think about it from the perspective of if we didn't have birth control and we weren't civilized. The one night stand guy would be the one who spreads his seed and bails while the relationship guy that comes after is the one being cucked. Not necessarily a perfect alignment but it does cross my mind.

The second angle being insecurity of how I compare. I do buy into the notion that women can afford to be more picky on looks for casual sex and that the standards/weight on raw physical attraction, charisma, masculinity ect are overall higher for casual sex than for a relationship. Now perhaps for hot "Stacey" caliber women there is less of a discrepancy as they can get sex AND commitment from "Chad" caliber men, but I think for women in the 4-6 range of attractiveness it is common for the men they can get for casual sex to be on average more conventionally attractive/masculine than the men they could reasonably get for a relationship/marriage and by more attractive/masculine I mean some combination of taller, more muscular, more endowed, more facially attractive, more sexually experienced, more confident dominant ect). Not necessarily all simultaneously in one guy but some combination of those perhaps spread across different fuckbuddies. With relationships I am more inclined to think there is less of a discrepancy between me and whatever guys she got.

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Why do people keep exaggerating to the other side? It is like those people saying "You just want a skeleton" to a guy who says they "don't want a fat woman". No, we mean what we say, don't try to read between the lines, cause there is no between the lines. That is just jumping to conclusions.

And it is not like we have any choice either. We were born that way, most of us are down right antitheists and would rather fuck a slut/prostitute continually if we actually could do it. But the fact is, we can't, they do not have nearly as much value as a low n count woman. We are forced by our bodies after low n count women, we choose it as much as we choose our sexuality. We don't. Yes, a high n count woman can compensate her high n count. But compensate is just that, compensate.

It is just the case of biology. Think with me. Most men like big sacks of fat (boobs/butts). We all know and accept this right?. There is absolutely NO reason to like it. it is just fat. It is just instinct. Why do you think prefering low n count are in any way differnt? Just cause religion likes to take credit for somethign that is an inbuilt feature? Are you mad? If god asked for men to look for big titties, would you also assume it is just a social pressure instead of a instinct?

Most men to my knowlede just want a woman with average n count or less. not virgins. and SURELY not high n count either (unless it is to just unload). Even if you ask me why. I could not tell you, cause it is like my fascination for bags of fat in the women body (breasts and butt) I am like that. I can fuck a woman without those bags (a completely flat woman), like I can a high n count woman. But it would feel off putting and wrong (as women like to put it).

And no, if she had just one cock and fucked him every other hour for decades prior to me, it would not affect me nearly as much as she having fucked 10 different men on a normal scale. Don't ask me why. I have no idea either. It just is.

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[–]Workaholiconew1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Untouched? No. more like, the more touched she is, the least we desire their company. It is not a on-off switch. It is a scale. A spectrum. 1/x I would say.

Lets be real somebody who don't know how to do anything on bed is a pain in the ass. Also virgins usually have enormous expectations (although not always).

Men from the 15th century would accept virgins cause they were religious. But most secular men today would rather have a low n woman because it appeals to both our sexual needs and the desire for a less touched woman. Both natural desires. Outside of religious folk and the unexperienced with virgins, very few want actual virgins.

Religion and the social zeitgeist are trying to pass a natural desire as a social one. And it makes me mad. Cause women love to say men are hypocrites for having desires for less touched women. Without batting an eyelash at the fact we also love bags of fat in their bodies. It is just how we were born. We didn't choose that, nor we have any choice on the matter.

[–]GridReXX1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Workaholiconew1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Everything is a scale. The more untouched the better.

In a sense, yes.

A virgin seems to hit on something men desire based on the replies. I can’t relate. Hence me asking.

Same as women asking why men do not care about careers/status/power as much as them. We cannot relate to caring about careers/status/power as much unless we cannot earn more than enough for 2 already (or more, if you want kids).

Also, so we are clear here, there is always the oddballs everywhere. Evolution fucks up here and there, and environments can overturn natural tendencies if something harsh enough happens.

Most men don't want obese women, exception chubby chasers,
Most men want women with significant tits and asses, exception, pedos and skeleton fuckers.
Most men want sex, exception, asexuals, rape victims and mgtow.

But they are exceptions to a rule, and thus, extremely rare.

I believe there are true slut chasers out in the world (and lots of fake ones, for an easy casual sex night or cause they can't find anything better). But they are rare.

And again, it can always be compensated. If she is a 9/10 in everything but her n count, or if the guy has nothing better. I doubt most men would care.

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A) some women really think that? Weird. Like obviously women are more likely to be victimized by an intimate partner than a stranger. Read a book ladies

B) I always joke with my husband that he better pray I don't go randomly missing some day, because if that happens his ass is going to jail. It's always the husband.

C) abuse is a slippery slope, and not always a completely one-way street TBH. I think women (people?) who fall victim to abuse grew up with parents who were either themselves abusive or neglectful. In the first case, they understand abuse as a normal part of love and affection. In the second case it's like "hey, at least they care enough about me to have a strong reaction to me / strong emotion about me" if you can't get positive attention (or don't think you're worthy of it) then often times negative attention is seen as more desirable than no attention.

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that’s social media for you. it glamorizes really fucked up shit and makes it look like it’s not as bad as it actually is.

kinda unrelated, but i watched a video yesterday about how vine comedians like king bach built a career, got clout, and made bank profiting off of promoting modern-day minstrelsy and stereotypes that go waaaaaay back. the joke was always just that he’s black. of course, his audience was mainly white american teens. and the same can be said for different content creators on other platforms too, like shane dawson on youtube for example.*

so there is also a large group of teens who were basically taught minstrel stereotypes and blackface is normal and humorous, by black and non black people alike. they may not be able to get away with the obvious blackface anymore, but they still try to do it with the stereotypes.

and now being reminded of the lolita aesthetic becoming a thing, it just makes me wonder what other kinds of shit we were watching without even realizing the fucked up history behind it. because i was a young teenager when they were doing this shit, and i didn’t even realize it was basically modern-day blackface. same with the lolita thing, i didn’t understand the problem with it at the time.

sorry if this goes against the race rule. i just thought there‘s some similarity there, since both are essentially subcultures that became popular with teens that have really fucked up pasts and meanings.

*edit: i just realized the pedo thing can also apply to shane dawson too, because he had that weird skit with the puppet that was supposedly an 8 year old who’s character was supposed to be funny simply because she was an aloof child who said sexually explicit things and they made sexually explicit jokes about her.

and millions of kids and teens subscribed to him. that is actually disconcerting.

[–]OXOzymandias1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

how vine comedians like king bach built a career, got clout, and made bank profiting off of promoting modern-day minstrelsy and stereotypes that go

waaaaaay

back. the joke was always just that he’s black. of course, his audience was mainly white american teens.

I think we watched the same vid lol.

so there is also a large group of teens who were basically taught minstrel stereotypes and blackface is normal and humorous, by black and non black people alike. they may not be able to get away with the obvious blackface anymore, but they still try to do it with the stereotypes.

Yup it is really weird, the idea of black people made fun of like they are all acting ghetto esp, feels weird, like it can be funny but if you make it your whole career you lowkey legitimizing it as a sort of humor genre, which shouldnt be the case, because these stereotypes arent actually healthy.

sorry if this goes against the race rule. i just thought there‘s some similarity there, since both are essentially subcultures that became popular with teens that have really fucked up pasts and meanings.

I actually get it tbh lol.

Btw idk who is shane dawson, i see a 20 min long video on youtube i guess on a ytb channel named shane but thats it.

[–]rft241 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yup it is really weird, the idea of black people made fun of like they are all acting ghetto esp, feels weird, like it can be funny but if you make it your whole career you lowkey legitimizing it as a sort of humor genre, which shouldnt be the case, because these stereotypes arent actually healthy.

exactly.

Btw idk who is shane dawson, i see a 20 min long video on youtube i guess on a ytb channel named shane but thats it.

he’s a really well-known youtuber, but he was recently cancelled because people were finally calling him out on a large scale about all his fucked up content sexualizing kids and promoting stereotypes. notable events include: pretending to jack off to a picture of an 11-year-old willow smith, describing a 6-year-old as “sexy” while making an appearance on a podcast, having a weird and gross conversation with his 12 year old cousin about sex as a “joke,” doing blackface in several videos, and saying the n-word... a lot.

yeah, he’s not a great person.

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u/Squiddy-the-wise

On topic of foreign-speaking customer service agents, this happened yesterday:

I had to call [Charity X], I had to update my address with them, it was wrong on my tax receipt. So I google the number, and I call them, and a lady answers, who sounds nice but with thick foreign accent and I'm like great, this gonna be painful.

It was. We went back and forth over spellings; she's trying to look me up in the computer system; I give her my old address, she can't find that, I say try this one, she can't find that, can't find any of my phone numbers... this is getting out of hand.

So finally, she stops and says, with just a hint of annoyance in her voice:

"Wait a minute, sir... are you trying to call [Charity] USA, or [Charity] Canada?"

And I'm like... ohhhh sheeit. Well ain't I the idiot here. It was my fault the whole time, for calling the USA branch instead of the Canadian one.

Lesson in humility, duly learned.

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Given that women are just as visual as men when it comes to dating and relationships, then men should already understand how women choose their partner. As men, if a women we find unattractive makes a lot of money, we do not suddenly see her as more attractive. We simply see her as a babebux.

Thus, is it a mistake for men to think that if they make more money and gain higher status, they will be seen as more “attractive” or “sexier” to women. In other words, the women who want to have sex with you in your early 20s (peak male attractiveness), will be more or less the same in the future unless the guy becomes substantially more attractive.

As a result, peak male smv in men’s early to mid 30s is not a lie, but is also not telling the whole truth. Women who thought we were ugly in the past don’t suddenly see as us more attractive when we have money.

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Yeah my opinion probably isnt very popular. They do seem to hate it and Ill aknowledge it's definitely not ideal but the way I see it is that we all have different stats that determine our value, some people are low in all stats, others are gifted in all stats and everything in between.

Most of a mans sexual value is based on things that are difficult to impossible to change like height, facial structure, dick size, shoulder width, vocal depth, inhibition ect and if you don't have those traits you'll probably never have a woman interested in you out of genuine sexual desire. For some guys their wealth/stability is objectively their best/highest stat and for those people I think it makes sense to try to make that card work for them like if you're a beta you're probably not going to become an alpha so might as well accept it and make the most of being a beta. The guys who get fucked the most by BB imo are the ones who do it unknowingly.

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It shows that women reached out to cute pictures. The blogger projected “delusional” and other emotive non clinical verbiage. That link wasn’t as convincing to me as it was to you.

If we took the distribution of what ten qualities matters to men and what ten qualities matter to women.

The distribution would look like this:

Men: Looks 84%; the rest of the things distributed between the remaining 16%
Women: Looks and the rest of things would be as important as the other variables. For women they’re all necessary.

TLDR : looks are as important as frame and presence and status and security and etc to women. Looks are far more important than the other things for men. This is plainly observable in every aspect of life. From marketing geared towards women vs men to the type of porn we consume (video vs erotica).

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If you woman are wondering why we don’t like independent, career driven, ambitious woman it’s because we as men don’t find that attractive the way you girls do in men. Just like you girls wouldn’t want a guy who paints his nails red and talks like a feminine girl we don’t want an assertive, disagreeable, masculine woman. If you want to have success in your career your going to need that and it’s a huge turn off to guys who aren’t MINDLESS SIMPS aka men of actual value who have options.

It’s the cold hard truth we don’t give a fuck how much money you make we would all rather date the secretary who make 30 k a year than the CEO who makes 150 k if ones is a rude, and disagreeable and will make our lives miserable. Give me the sweet feminine chick any day of the week. Just like we don’t shame you girls for not liking feminine men don’t shame us.

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And there are enough men who value it, because they do think with their heads and not just with their dicks.

Very old joke but applies here.

You have three women interviewing for a job. You ask them if they found $20 on the street what they would do.

Woman one says she would give it to the receptionist saying it was lost in case someone tried to claim it.

Woman two said she's ask anyone near her if they has lost it and if not she'd keep it.

Woman three says she'd just keep it as there is no way of knowing who's it was.

Which one do you hire?

The one with the biggest tits.

Its not unlike that in love. When I was in college I had a very ugly woman, who was in the same classes with me who was hot for me, but there was no chance there because she wasn't hot. I met my wife an she was hot to me, we made out night one and only later did I find out she had a lot more qualities beyond hot and hot for me.

Woman says she has a new boyfriend, question 1 or close to it is "what does he do"

Man has new girlfriend, question 1 or close to it is, is she hot?

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I agree that men love “agreeableness” in women.

Women also love agreeableness in men. This isn't some law of inverses where women like the opposite of what men like. Agreeableness is comforting and disarming because it is interpreted as similarity.

Disagreeable connotes ornery confrontational mess of a person.

Can you describe this type of "disagreeable" person? I'm not sure if I've ever seen one outside of debating about certain topics or facts. It doesn't even sound like the disagreeableness is the problem as much as the "ornery confrontational mess" does.

What women like in a man is self assuredness and a backbone.

So he would have to be disagreeable in the sense that he's confident he knows what he's doing vs someone saying otherwise, but still similar and accommodating enough to her that it assures her of her safety with him? If that's the case, then it doesn't sound like being agreeable/disagreeable is the problem there, but just whether she can influence/control him enough with subtle persuasion to still feel safe around him.

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So yes ornery was the perfect synonym based on the widely accepted and text book definitions of “disagreeable.”

I was going off of what you originally said here:

No one wants their every thought combatted and battled over.

which would be disagreeable in that he fights over everything she says and constantly makes her out to be wrong, not that they're "not pleasant or enjoyable," even if being disagreeable in the above quote results in them being/seeming not pleasant or enjoyable to the other person, while being agreeable (i.e., agreeing with and being submissive toward someone) does.

So, I still hold that women like men who seem more accommodating to them, whether agreeable/disagreeable is the right term or not, because it still encompasses or correlates with traits that make women feel more comfortable and secure around their partner.

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u/solemn_aside brings up a thing that I have wanted to discuss for a while, which is the phenomenon of women immediately, and awkwardly, mentioning their boyfriend or husband the minute you talk to them.

For a long time this used to be in my top ten most maddening pet peeves that women do, because of its sheer presumptuousness and unfriendliness. It's like FUCK YOU, ya cunt, no I'm not hitting on you just because I'm talking to you, tf is wrong with you?

The more I've learned, the more I understand why they do this, but it's still irritating.

Anyway, my questions are twofold:

1) Are women even consciously aware that they are doing this? Sometimes it seems so reflexive and awkward that I think they must be doing it unconsciously.

2) Does the frequency of this behaviour vary with the man's attractiveness? Because it could, for example, be interpreted either as a "get away from me you creep" or as a shit test.

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[–]death_by_1000_cats8 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes it's conscious, we do it on purpose. It's just an easy way to let a guy off the hook if he's hitting on you, in a way that allows us both to save face. I don't deploy it if I don't think a guy's hitting on me or plans to hit on me, but if I start to get that vibe I will find a way to bring up my husband. I try to do it subtly; for example if a guy at the dog park asks if I live in the neighborhood, I say "Yeah, we live at XYZ apartment complex." Or if he mentions a new restaurant that opened up in the neighborhood I might say "Oh yeah, my husband told me about that the other day." I wouldn't just randomly say "I have a husband" apropos of nothing. There's a way to do it gracefully.

The guy's attractiveness has never been part of the equation, just my perception of why he was talking to me.

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ass shots are dangerous and can look unnatural, i've watched so many horror stories ab cheap botched ones. but i think BBLs are wayyyyy more common, women discuss it like it's p normal, i see women joking about men gifting them a BBL after pregnancy lmao. and boob jobs have been normalized since.. forever like has it not been normal for a while?? i think your everyday woman doesn't get it done but then again some women are just built with tits and/or ass

i don't think most women that get work done, get body work done. i think more women get their lips done if they touch anything, as working out can help contour the body enough

also i feel like women then probably had more of a problem with the botched fake bimbo look, when it looks natural no one can even tell until they compare before and afters and look closely (most celebrities have gotten at least one thing done, i've become so good at spotting PS when i figured this out and got horrified when i was younger b/c i wanted to believe people were just naturally beautiful lmao still i don't want to touch anything).

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I have always said it before, but the fact is women hitting the wall doesn't mean they instantly become sexless or without ANY options at 30. A lot of people in this sub have practically turned the concept of the wall in TRP into some strawman position.

Its just that they simply lose the monopoly leverage against men her equals from 90% advantage to, say, 50% advantage.

There will always be a long line of desperate men willing to take the scraps she offers with no questions asked. Its just that men her equal won't and infact, he will demand more from her that she would be unwilling to give to him.

Because in her mind, she's still that young woman who looks just like she's in her early 20's and he's just some beta who should know his place like he used to before. How tragic for her. She can't comprehend the fact that the men her equals slowly see their options accumulate (compared to her options, which is practically infinite).

The wall for women as described by women themselves countless times in various articles and news publications and interviews that I can't bother myself to link to is post wall women after age 30 start to notice weird shifts: men weren't bending over backwards to get her attention like she used to, and gasp one man even called her a maam, and that will trigger the fuck out of her. Or most of the men she's interested in don't show proportional interest towards her like she's used to and she notices that these men mostly go after women in their early to mid 20's. This is where they start to c@pe and call men as "creep" for daring to choose young women over her.

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lmfao sometimes it is uncalled for, like the example you gave. sometimes it’s applicable though.

the story that inspired my comment is just ridiculous. this woman’s bf is so dirty and disgusting, he leaves rotten old food and dirty plates all over his room; and she’s expected to clean everything. their dog had to have surgery because of all the shit the dog would find and eat, even found a dried up cum napkin stuck to a plate and licked it. not to mention they have a baby, that was found playing with beer bottle caps he could’ve choked on. she was like “what if my baby had found the cum napkin instead?”

the comments all said to leave. sis was like “yeah hopefully he’ll finally change his ways once i leave him” or something like that. everybody’s telling her he won’t change and she sitting there like she’s dw, can’t mf read.

then i read a few from stepparents where the consistent theme among them is how the baby mama’s always get chosen over the wives/gf’s, or the dude is obviously cheating with bm, or the sk’s are actual demon spawns; and the dude makes it obvious that the wife/gf is at the bottom of his priority list. the comments will all say the same shit: “leave him!” then op gets on her dw shit too.

i don’t get it. it seems like they just want to complain more than they actually want to help themselves.

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Some interesting parts from the article about sex and prostitution in 20th century Russia.

In 1909 in Moscow a brochure was published with the results of a statistical study conducted among students of Moscow State University. The results of the survey showed that about 60% (almost two-thirds of students at the university) satisfied their sexual needs with prostitutes, 12% slept with other people's wives, a fifth with servants, and only 15% had a constant relationship. Almost half of the respondents lost their virginity in brothels. Moreover, at the beginning of the century it was completely commonplace to rent one sex worker for two or three, which means that a significant part of urban residents had experience of group sex.

Unlike men (and only they could be university students at that time), the majority of women kept their innocence until marriage and were brought up in traditions of high morality. The higher in status a girl was, the more “cold” she had to be in bed. The manifestations of sexual feelings were unambiguously viewed as baseness and a consequence of poor upbringing.

In a practical sense, that meant that nobles, having married girls from their social circle, found a frightened and insecure person in their bed, while husbands (usually not so young) had rather extensive sexual experience before marriage. That is why representatives of the high society, starting with members of the imperial family, were drawn to ballerinas, who were indistinguishable from high-society ladies in manners, but at the same time they were able to show sensuality.

For the same reason, the idea of marrying women of lower status was popular among men of that time: it was believed that such a wife, out of gratitude, would be able to overcome her natural aversion to sex and begin to show tenderness in bed. In addition, there were those who preferred to marry divorced or widows: in this case, too, the difficulties of sexual re-education could be happily avoided.

Yet people are talking about degeneracy of modern times. Yeah, having sex ed and contraception is a degeneracy and not regularly visiting brothels. Also the idea that women have "natural aversion to sex" is just terrible.

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The ones talking about degeneracy are usually religious. Not secular men.

Sex is a need for men, and to my knowledge to all male mammals.

That is just how the men previously used to solved the issue. I would even say more, I think that the real percentage would be as big as 80%. It seems pretty predictable to me. Men will need sex, in a way or another. If not prostitutes, I can imagine rape would become a (even more) common occurrence in the past.

Also, Yes it is a misconception that women have aversion to sex, they want it too. but compared to the average male desire strength, the female version is so insignificant, I can see men of old not even seeing anything, or even going as far as calling it an aversion. You will not see a woman willing to kill herself just because she can't get sex nor has any hope of getting. But a man? rather too easy.

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A comment from the discussion about sex ed:

A couple of years ago, I read a Russian-language pedophile forum, because I believe that you should be aware about the enemy.

It was on the open Internet, not the dark web, nothing like that. And forum users were lamenting about the harm of sex ed and parents teaching their children boundaries. People have started to teach their children that their bodies are inviolable and that they shouldn't tolerate if someone is touching them. So children are now aware and these users were complaining that they couldn't trick their grandson or niece.

Active forum, many users, most of them write from ex-USSR countries. Most of them are married men. And you will never know if your family friend or relative spends his time there. These are outwardly ordinary people. Therefore - at least body science. At least about their boundaries.

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Are you really gonna stick by the girl that put up with your low value tendencies when you could upgrade to hotter girl when you've levelled up?

Why wouldn't I stay with the person that invested in me and believed in me before others did? My partner is fantastic and has been there every step of the way with me. To dump her at any point just because I could potentially find someone more attractive is shitty, really unfair to her, and really insulting to both her and my own dignity. I always wanted someone I can grow with, found that person, and continue to grow with her. Honestly, it makes me happy to know that our relationship is built on mutual admiration for the content of each others' character above all else.

Yet again, I am absolutely disgusted by the attitudes that FDS seems to create. To be so mercenary is absolutely unfathomable to me. It's low character and trashy.

I actually don't think any love is unconditional though. I'm just about sticking to my word, and holding others to that same standard.

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I think the biggest issue with dating is that women usually know how to read subtle social cues that indicate attraction and interest and men don’t. I can usually tell when a man is interested in me just by looking at body language, how much time they spend around me or talking to me, and physical touch.

Men risk being labeled creepy when they misread or ignore a woman’s indicators of interest (or lack thereof). They may interpret a woman as being interested in them when the woman was just being polite or friendly. Or they read a cashier making polite chit chat with them as romantic interest.

When a man can correctly “read” that a woman is interested in him, then he might have a shot at a relationship.

It has nothing to do with stature or strength. It has all to do with social cues. That’s why the scrawny, nerdy guys are often the ones labeled as creepy, because they often don’t understand social cues as well as others do. Their emotional intelligence is lower.

So, if you want a relationship I suggest you learn to read people.

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When a man can correctly “read” that a woman is interested in him, then he might have a shot at a relationship.

The mistake here is thinking or acting like women all communicate interest in some standardized way. We hear some women complaining that their politeness is being taken as interest when it wasn't, and some women complaining that their polite advances and hints were not received, so at that point, it really comes down to the luck of the approach. Women, for whatever reason, don't like being obvious and direct, but then complain when men don't interpret their "I blinked three times and did a hair-flip, why isn't he responding to my signal?!"

The best that people can do is continue doing whatever they're doing and hope to find someone that way who might be a good fit for them, because accommodating every other person is a lot of work, and ain't nobody got time for that unless they're desperate.

So, if you want a relationship I suggest you learn to read people.

I've got a better one: If you want a relationship, I suggest you learn how to communicate appropriately. It's not simply men's job to "read people."

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Women have more to gain in assuming interest than men do. Men have less to gain and more to lose.

When a man is initially interested in a woman, he's very interested and the woman can't do much to mess it up. It's pure consumption and a positive for her if she's also interested in him. The woman is guaranteed dates, compliments, flirting, attention, sex when a man is initially interested.

For men, a woman who is initially interested is only that, initially interested. Unless he is Chad, he can very easily mess it up in just a few minutes. Even when a woman is initially interested, she can quickly become disinterested and reject him. He still has to "perform", entertain her and woo her.

Women's initial interest isn't special because it's fleeting. Women's initial interest is just an invitation for the man to hit on her. Men's initial interest is legitimate interest that can't easily be lost.

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A "billionaire" by inheritence? Meh. He's basically pissed it all away anyway and is up to his eyeballs in debt. I will say this though, he's an excellent grifter and conman. That's the one above-average skill he possesses.

He claimed the value of his brand as part of his net worth.

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/27/us/politics/donald-trump-wealth.html

He's consistently misrepresented his net worth for decades, it seems: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2019/politics/trump-statements-of-financial-condition/

Also forgot the part where he's a tax cheat: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/09/27/us/donald-trump-taxes.html

More detail: https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/everything-know-donald-trump-personal-180013604.html

Lenders have cut ties with him over the last several decades as well: https://www.cnbc.com/2021/01/12/trumps-business-prospects-just-got-dimmer-as-wall-street-backs-away-from-tarnished-brand.html

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Why do you assume swag is “mystical”?

I don't. I'm saying that it seems like women characterize it that way whenever its mentioned in here.

Swag is literally experience and/or presence and/or relational charisma.

Yes, the "charisma" part is usually where the mystical energy comes in, because women don't seem to realize that it's mostly just experience and that every guy has to get it before they have it, because we don't just have it.

And “ummm no” it’s not simply “experience” because some people have swag without having to trial and error it / learn over time.

No, it only seems that way to the perceiver.

Also don’t lecture me about a term that’s specific to my culture.

I'm sure the concept existed long before the word was applied to it, so it doesn't matter whose culture it belongs to. As long as you understand what's being communicated, then whatever. The word being part of your culture doesn't automatically make you an expert about everything relating to it.

But traditionally, it isn’t always a “game” you can teach. Some people will simply never have it, just as some people will never have rhythm. And no rhythm isn’t “mystical” either.

Yeah, but not having game isn't the same as not having rhythm, is it?

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https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2021/04/confessions-overnight-tech-millionaire.html

Lot's of interesting gender relation nuggets in here from the perspective of UMC educated women who IPO into millions...

"I’ve always had a sense, since I was young, that I would have kids in a less traditional manner. In high school, I was diagnosed with a hormonal imbalance that makes it harder to get pregnant. Since then, freezing my eggs has been in the back of my mind. Before the IPO, I thought, I’ll wait until I’m older — it’s kind of a big to-do. That combined with the cost: The first round will be $15,000, and I’d want to do multiple rounds. But recently, I started to do the math and thought, Why wait if I can afford it now?

For me, the whole thing about the money is that I just want to afford the lifestyle I grew up with. I grew up in a wealthy town. When I was very young, my best friend’s parents got divorced. The mom had never worked; the dad worked in banking but blew all his money. And the mom relied on the dad, so her grandparents were literally paying for their groceries. That freaked me out. Then, in 2008, my parents announced their divorce to us, and two months later the market crashed. So, for me, this idea of financial dependency is so tied to the idea of being in a relationship. Being dependent on someone financially is my biggest fear. With the IPO, I realized: My worst fear is not possible now. It’s the most liberating thing. I haven’t fully internalized it.

We grow up hearing about this linear process where you meet someone, get engaged, marry, and raise two kids together. Because of my parents’ divorce, I never felt like I needed to be with a partner to have kids. But financially, it would’ve been a huge burden to support children in the Bay Area, even with my current salary. Now I can maintain exactly the same lifestyle I grew up with, without a partner in the equation at all. That’s what the egg freezing is about: I might decide to have kids in my mid-30s, and I can be who knows where in different relationships. Maybe I don’t have one, maybe I’m in one, but I can separate the idea of a family from the idea of a relationship.

When it comes to dating, I’ve always been pedigree-focused. I’ve been obsessed with men who are smarter than me. (Even when I was younger, at sleepaway camp, I was fixated on the boys who went to the magnet public schools, because I knew they were hard to get into.) Part of it comes from an obsession that my kid has to be intelligent, but part of it is about earning potential, because smart men tend to earn a lot of money. I see my friends who are in these relationships where both people make more than $200,000. No kids and $400,000 combined? That’s a great lifestyle. So it’s always been in the back of my mind that I want somebody who’ll match me in income. But I have an extremely complicated relationship with it. I don’t want them to earn more than me, because then they’ll have more power, but if they earn less, I won’t be able to afford the life I grew up with. Basically, there was no amount they could’ve earned that wouldn’t have made me feel uncomfortable except exactly the same amount as me.

But now, even if they have more money than me, who cares? After a certain million-dollar mark, nobody is getting competitive. So at either end of the spectrum, I’m going to have the power, financially. Now, I can see myself dating someone who makes much less. I want to focus on their values. When I’m on the apps, I’ve been trying to change my habits. Easier said than done, though. I’m going to therapy to work on it.

Recently, I went on a date with a guy. He asked me where I worked, and I told him, and he said, “You’re going to be rich.” I didn’t know how to respond. I was like, “Yeah.” Sometimes I think about the guy I lost my virginity to, and I think about telling him how much money I have. I think it would feel wonderful.

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So, I would first point out that Sanders has been very consistent with his messaging and the type of legislation he supports. I agree with his message and his personal wealth does not detract from that. With respect to his personal wealth, at the end of the day he is a United State Senator, and in terms of United States Senators he is among the least wealthy, https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2016/apr/15/bernie-sanders/bernie-sanders-says-hes-one-poorer-members-united-/. US Senators, some of the highest elected officials in the country have wealth, news at 11.

I don't know much about Patrisse Cullors, so I'm not going to get into a debate with you whether she is a grifter.

Anyway, speaking of grifters, what is your stance on right wing grifters?

https://www.justice.gov/usao-sdny/pr/leaders-we-build-wall-online-fundraising-campaign-charged-defrauding-hundreds-thousands

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/07/us/politics/alex-jones-business-infowars-conspiracy.html

https://mashable.com/article/trump-campaign-defalt-opt-in-donations/

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/education-postsecondary/reports/2017/03/30/429573/trump-university-look-enduring-education-scandal/

Surely you are outraged about people peddling faked patriotism to steal money from "hard working" conservatives?

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I am just realizing one god damn thing....i dont know a single guitar player who isnt a player (not talking about ncount, just ability to pick up a girl).

Most men in my fam were born with a guitar, and it is a tradition who is still going strong and who was first began by my great great grandfather.

I dont know how to play but will soon learn cus my grandpa asked me to learn it, he said it is the only thing i lack to be his favorite grandson, so like obvs there is a need, but like most men in my fam are huge player and always had gf and all, my grandpas had a rock band in 80s who toured a bit, my grandpa seduce my grandma by singing her songs he composed for her (he mostly stole song in english, translate them and sang them to my grandma).

And from this little memory i just remembered, it also hit me that i never ever met a dude who played guitar and was a loser dating wise...i guess you should play guitar guys.

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Let's say I get into a car accident. My legs, several of my ribs and one arm are broken. I'm in a coma. They scrape me off the street, get my ass in the hospital, put everything back more or less in place. Three months later I wake up from the coma, mostly healed. All without my consent.

Even more extreme example: I have cancer. But I'm some kind of fucked up cancerphile who gets off on having cancer. They put me in a straightjacket, get my ass in the (mental) hospital, then pump me full of chemo until my cancer is cured and kick me out of the hospital. All against my consent.

Then a psychologist shows up and says: for me to help you, you first need to help yourself, to WANT to be cured, this is as much on you as it is on me, no, perhaps even more so etc. etc.

I guess astrology also makes sense if you only believe it does...

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I don’t think peoples sexual preferences are driven by desperation.

You may be on to something that women find the female body aesthetically pleasing, but that doesn’t make them gay.

Also is it that men don’t find the male body aesthetically pleasing? Or that there is such an ingrained fear in men of admitting anything close to this or be labeled gay?

You bring up bisexual women. I don’t know the stats but it sounds like you’re saying there are more bi women than bi men. If that’s true, I suspect it’s more emotional than sexual. You see this with women in middle age who’ve already had their kids and switch teams. I think they’re seeking an emotionally driven connection that most men don’t/can’t provide. Might explain the high rate of dead bedrooms among LT lesbian couples. They’re emotionally satisfied but not sexually satisfied.

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That’s is a good strategy to have lower standards for sure.

the strategy is to maximize your options (by being likable/charismatic, your highest looks potential and fit, and in my opinion just being a nice person) and pick your favorite from your pool... which doesn't always mean the highest earner or best looking or combination of those two. it's a smart strategy for anyone, which is why focusing on yourself is important.

i would lower standards on money (aka can make less than me), but i won't lower standards for behavior (and baseline physical attraction which is not just "Chad").

i watched the video for a bit after that time you linked, and i understand the woman on the far right -- i wouldn't want to pay all the bills solely by myself and don't even know if i could, but that is why financial independence, stability, (for myself and my partner) and egalitarianism is more my goal.

The problem is that in big cities especially a woman’s value is based on the type of man she is with and can get commitment from.

this isn't true, having lived in a decent sized city my whole life i don't really know what you mean. women are not known for the man whose arms they hang off of, i have always heard word of women for how beautiful, kind, helpful, smart, ambitious, etc. they themselves have a reputation for being. if she's "bitchy" and rude and petty with other women, she's known for that too. this is how women meet each other, not through word of "oh she has a multimillionaire husband!" like cool, i didn't ask nor is it my business, but very good for her if that's what she values. "oh she's a multimillionaire" will make my eyebrows raise and intrigue me into asking her how she did it though.

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Well, according to my husband (who I consider to be a good man) that's not true. He had plenty of options, yet married a woman that would sooner walk into oncoming traffic than be the kind of woman those guys want.

I actually talked to him about this before we went to bed since I was curious about his opinion. He quite literally said he doesn't want to be in charge all the time. He said he doesn't mind in certain scenarios, like at work, but otherwise he doesn't feel the need or even want to be.

He's extraordinarily laid back and definitely a go with the flow sort of guy, so this makes sense. I wouldn't say I'm charge, though. I'd say neither of us are. We just talk about things and decide from there. I think if either of us started behaving like the guys from the video we'd think the other had gone and lost their damn mind.

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Does anyone believe in the idea that all things done are done first for the self? I forget what its called (maybe moral absolutism or something), but this makes the most sense to me considering that everything requires an exchange of energy to be given or taken on the universe and nothing can be taken without giving something, so the idea that someone can give something to another without receiving something is not possible.

That being said, the idea of relationships (or people in relationships) and love being giving and selfless is mostly rationalized crap that people say to feel good about, and make themselves look better.

I guess CMV?

Also, bonus question for the slightly older/middle aged group in here: which old TVLAND sitcoms do you miss watching the most? I remember I used to watch The Bionic Man/Woman, I Dream of Genie, and that "Theater 2000" show with the two robots and one guy doing commentary on shitty older movies. I also miss The Wonder Years and goddamn Happy Days.

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It's a form of delayed gratification. By giving to others, you form a de facto community insurance policy that helps smooth out randomness. You give for the chance that you might get when you need it.

Eh that's actually called "reciprocal altruism," if I'm understanding correctly, which is a bit of an oxymoron where altruism is concerned because the idea behind altruism is that you're doing something for someone at your expense. Getting something back for it, or expecting to get something back for it is not really altruism, and kind of what I'm saying here with regard to relationships, but I think it extends to any social interaction where nothing can truly be altruistic, because doing so would seem to break some law of nature in order for it to happen.

I used to love I Dream of Genie. Man has it been a long time.

Definitely. I was only thinking about it because I saw a commercial on the TVLAND channel with I Dream of Genie in it. Kind of funny because that show was the epitome of every man's ideal relationship fantasy.

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It depends on how you want to define altruism. If you go with a any-gain-forfeits-altruism definition, then it doesn't exist. It becomes a pointless word. If you see altruism as the ability to invest in friends and community, then you see it all around you.

It just sounds like a pointless word then, if the only meaning or significance it has is conceptual. I'm really just trying to clear up the trope of people thinking that most of their love and feelings are directed outward at their partner and how much they do "for them" when it's really all about it coming back to themselves because they're giving to receive and giving because they've received something already.

I just thought Genie was beautiful.

Oh she was definitely the object of a growing young boy's pubertal lust, that's for sure. On numerous occasions.

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I'll look into that

Python is super easy to pick up. There is a book called "Automate the Boring Stuff" that is a great intro to Python and scripting in general. Microsoft, PDFs etc. are handled in the book. It's not nearly enough to use to become a developer.

If you see sitting at a desk doing **anything** with Microsoft, learn how to do this stuff in Python. It will save you untold hours and make you look like a warlord (or warlady, whatevs).

a less high stakes doc.

This was really helpful. I'm going to do this.

We currently have 2 deliverables: a full Word doc about 20 pages long with lots of cutting and pasting, or we simply deliver a spreadsheet. Thing is, filling in the Word doc, while a pain in the ass, is good for quality control.

But it's really hard to write a writing program for that legacy report, although I've been tasked with doing so.

Solution: Use the smaller report I'm currently writing to develop a simpler one button report, along with a couple other enhancements to ease review, and have it done before the "what are you currently working on" meeting the new boss called on Tuesday.

Bonus points if I spend some time interrogating the model at the center of what we do with traditional regression diagnostics stuff (normally distributed residuals, constant variance of the error terms, blah blah blah).

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We had topics in PPD discussing how women fail to understand what is really funny and what isn't.

You see, laughter is also a part of socialization, and because of that, others will laugh at 'jokes' of others, even if they are awful, as long as they have something to gain.

And you see, men like sex, and women like social approval. Leading to quite absurdly terrible female comedians. Amy Schumer lack of fun is so bad, she ended up becoming a joke even in Brazil, where almost none understand english.

This is also brought to life into how many female comedians tend to make sex jokes. Men answer pretty well to any sign of sexual potential, including laughing at crude sexual innuendos, making some women think crude sexual innuendos are actually funny, when they aren't. At all. They are just that. And a signal for sex.

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In my experience the people that I go on dates with are not compatible with me at all. Talking online we have similar interests, but in person with foundational beleifs, we have nothing in common. I don't meet many people IRL anymore due to the pandemic.

Think of everything you DON'T want in a partner, from someone being a drug addict, to simply having nothing in common with someone. Then image that all of those people are the only potential options that you have to select from for a partner.

Say you consider genrous, kind, and nurturing women to be your bare minimum standard, but you can only find dates with women who are selfish, mean, and degrade you.

Having access to women who break your spirit and make you feel like shit, doesn't mean that you're any closer to finding love.

Also keep in mind that the people who use OLD disproportionately skew to having emotional, social, or mental problems that make it difficult to meet people in personm so you're more likely to be introduced with people that just aren't a match for you, than if you were to get involved in your community and meet people organically that way.

Many people don't make good significant partners. From not being able to care for ones self, to simply not being considerate enough, to not having the social skills or emotional maturity to navigate relationships.

Many people want a significant relationship, but a multitude of factors prevent them from getting significant relationships.

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[–]_HEDONISM_BOT-2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

woman here. I'd take the lump sum of cash, and THEN I'd go get a relationship.

But I'm atypical in that I'm fine with doing amoral shit to get what I want out of relationships.

The REAL rat race is biological... which might help explain why a lot of people valued relationships over money in the thread you linked. Passing your genes down to the next generation is LITERALLY the point of your existence, biologically.

Nobody's going to remember the billionaire who had no heirs and left it all to charities or the state.... 700 years from now, just like I'm certain nobody remembers those religious monks from thousands of years ago that swore never to have sex or procreate, and they (shocker) all died out....

The point of money & resources is to increase your likelihood of attracting more/higher quality partners so you can mix yourself with them & pass your genes onto the next generation.

but what do I know?

[–][deleted]0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Part of the question was that you could never love again after taking the cash. Does that change your answer?

I agree with you in that most people want to pass down their genes, whether they'd admit it or even realize it.

But not everybody, that certainly doesn't account for gay people, people who choose to adopt, or people who willfully decide not to have kids.

I think passing down genes can give you a sense of purpose and impact on the world and its future.

But at the same time, once you're dead none of it matters. You won't experience the impact you've made or really know whether you've made a positive difference. Your great grandchild could be the next Hitler or Mother Teresa and it wouldn't make a difference to you.

Selfishly, I would choose the "perfect" relationship just because it would feel satisfying and fulfilling. It just needs to last until death and then I have no problem with everyone forgetting I exist and having no real impact. It doesn't matter because I'm already dead.

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[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Which of these potential solutions would you accept?

If you had to choose, you could select none, one, or multiple — which would you pick?

Have a good old fashioned world war (no nukes) which kills about 10-15 percent of the male population
Ban all social media and OLD (basically have current technology but with the social media sphere of the late 2000s)
Say a development in fertility technology occurs, and we can now skew fertility such that for every 1000 children born — 600 would be female, 400 would be male.
Have feminists invest more in the campaign to abort male babies (basically accomplishes what 3 does)
Legalize prostitution
Abolish permanent marriages and replace them with privatized renewable contracts where the terms agreed to are customized to the married couple's choosing and must abide by those terms

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Population data is cool and all, but it really means nothing when you don't even account for the fact that women are far more susceptible to social propaganda and programming (especially when you're considering self-reported data). In today's world, young girls are told from day one that men are murderers, rapists, or some other immoral/unethical entity that should be avoided at all costs. Women have been conditioned to believe that they should just focus on their careers, and the right man will fall right into their life at some opportune time. Women are even shamed for expressing they may want to be in a relationship as well (again, problems with response bias in self-reported data).

Go look at FDS. They're all mostly single. Do they seem happy at all to you? If they were, they wouldn't be concerned with ever trying to find a man.

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Solution to what?

From the list that you gave I would select 5. It could give safety to both consumers and providers for services. There would be set "rules" (basically health and safety regulations) for the service providers, like mandatory STD tests. The service providers could report customers that break the rules.

I would add to the list:

Reduce the ammount of romantic/sexual relationships and increace the ammount of platonic relationships in media.

During movies it's usual that there are a group of main characters (or a mix of main and support) there will be romantic relationship between at least two people. Either they already are in a romantic relationship or they establish one near the end.

The romantic relationships being everywhere can make people feel preassure from society tohave romantic relationships. I kinda tend to also dislike the term "bromance" to describe a deep platonic (nearly sibling like) relationship between guys. People can't have deep platonic relationships without others thinking that it's a romantic/sexual relationship. I understand that it might seem similar, but the platonic relationship doesn't have the smooching and sex that the romantic/sexual relationship has. Worst thing is that other people insist that the platonic relationship (without smooching and sex) is a romantic/sexual one and can't accept that it isn't.

[–]throwingwearethrowin2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Guys, if you found out your wife or girlfriend was watching porn, would you wanna watch what she likes with her? If yes, would you feel insecure if she gets off to a hotter guy with a bigger dick? What if she only watches this one specific guy? Would that spark any insecurity? What boundaries would you ask of her? And if you asked that of her, would you abide by them yourself? Please be honest, it’s frustrating because guys are all on deck with the idea of this but in practice they hate it.

I ask this because in my personal experience, there was no middle ground when my ltr found out about the porn use. At first they were like “yay! A woman who likes porn too!” But then they saw what I like (one specific guy, he’s super hot) (also my exhibitionist kink, which I never ever get to indulge with any ltr ever) and all porn was off the tables. He wouldn’t watch porn so I wouldn’t watch porn. He also wouldn’t indulge my fantasies, but I still did the things he liked because I loved him even though I really wanted to things I like instead.

This post isn’t suppose to be a “gotcha! I have to do this with my relationships too hahah sucks huh?”. I wanna hear your sincere reactions to this. Seeing the woman you love getting off looking at the face and body of another man that looks nothing like you, that wouldn’t make you feel insecure?

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So in a way it's hot but in reality I think I'd definitely feel insecure if the guys she preferred in porn were significantly different from me i.e taller, more muscular, bigger dick, different race etc.. I'd probably be more interested in which specific sex acts or scenes she likes in porn but wants to try with me but not as much in which actors she likes. I know women tend to be turned off by being fetishized like if they found out a guy disproportionately dated or jacked off to a certain type of women but for me that would be ideal. I would love it if a woman was primarily turned on by a very specific type of guy and I met the specs of what she prefers. I don't really see it happening as I don't have those traits that the vast majority of women want but it would be my ideal scenario. I would love to be fetishized.

Also back on the topic of porn I don't think I would watch porn as much in a relationship so I would probably be concerned if she was watching it a lot still just as many women are often concerned. A little is fine but if she's watching it as much or more than she is sleeping with me that would be disheartening especially if the porn guys are nothing like me. So I definitely understand where women are coming from when they complain about their partners watching too much porn.

[–]cloudydays842 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Guys, if you found out your wife or girlfriend was watching porn, would you wanna watch what she likes with her?

Yeah, I've watched porn with past partners before.

yes, would you feel insecure if she gets off to a hotter guy with a bigger dick?

Not really. I should add the caveat that I'm bi which is definitely gonna affect my answer compared to others. But yeah my partner watching porn with guys that are more muscular, have bigger dicks, etc doesn't really bother me, it's just porn.

What if she only watches this one specific guy?

I wouldn't be offended just surprised to be honest, like come on it's 2021 and you have the entire internet at your fingertips, diversify you're interests alittle lol

At the end of the day it's porn, most adults watch it both in and out of relationships. As long it doesn't affect the relationship (or your personal life) watch as much as you want.

[–]Slipthe2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]decoy881 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Guys, if you found out your wife or girlfriend was watching porn, would you wanna watch what she likes with her?

Yes absolutely. We share a porn account too so we can see each other’s history.

If yes, would you feel insecure if she gets off to a hotter guy with a bigger dick?

Not at all. I get off to women who look nothing like her too.

What if she only watches this one specific guy?

We all have our favourites.

Would that spark any insecurity? What boundaries would you ask of her?

No, nada, none. I wouldn’t ask them anything I wasn’t willing to do myself.

Please be honest, it’s frustrating because guys are all on deck with the idea of this but in practice they hate it.

I agree that hypocrites are annoying AF. But like with all dating, part of finding compatible people is finding those who’ll accept you completely. And that can’t happen without revealing who you are.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Guys, if you found out your wife or girlfriend was watching porn, would you wanna watch what she likes with her?

If she wants to. I guess I maybe prefer she has her stuff, I have my stuff, and we have our shared stuff. I'm happy to see anything she wants to share.

I don't often share my porn with her. It's hard to find things that we both like.

If yes, would you feel insecure if she gets off to a hotter guy with a bigger dick?

Not really. I get off to a lot of things that I don't think my wife should feel threatened about.

What if she only watches this one specific guy? Would that spark any insecurity?

Dunno. That naybe actually seems "safer" for some reason. I'd have to experience it to know.

What boundaries would you ask of her?

I don't really care what she does in private as long as our sex life remains important. The only real thing I'd ask is that she prioritizes our sex life. I mean in the sense that our sex life comes first and our personal stuff needs to be supplemental.

And if you asked that of her, would you abide by them yourself?

Yeah.

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I "love" when my mum makes something I don't want to eat it at this moment/day (not in the mod for it) and she said she made it just because of me/just for me (dunno how to exactly translate "dėl tavęs tai dariau"). I try to explain to her that she should ask me beforehand if I would want it or not and that her saying she made it just because of me make me feel guilty (for her waisting her time and ingredients) for not being in the mood of/wanting to eat the dish that was made. I understand that she wanted to surprise me, but she doesn't know (without asking me) if I would want it.

My parents sometimes buy stuff (mostly food items) and they just say (when I refuse it) that they bought it just because of me. though in truth the process went more like: "'oh, that looks interesting. Should we buy it?' 'hm, our daughter might also like/eat it, so yeah'". But the way they phrase it makes me feel is not for me then they wouldn't have bought the thing. And that makes me feel guilty for wasting their money. Trying to teach them not to use the phrase "just because of you/just for you" for things that they would use themselves if I refuse to use it and to call me for my opinion on the thing to make shure if I would use it or not.

I tend to just call them if I saw something that would interest them and ask them if I should buy it for them or not "hey, I'm at a thrift store and there's a T-shirt in your size with the type of image that you would like, it costs X should I buy it for you?" . Or the general, when I am at the food store, "hey I'm at X, do you need something from there?".

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men do the exact same thing and then tell you you’re gaslighting them when you point out that their anecdotes are an exception or are challenged by statistics.

i notice it’s only when women use anecdotes that y’all talk shit. never say shit about when the men do it. and yes, they do it at a similar frequency as the women. i’m assuming you just don’t notice because you mainly debate with women here.

i could make the same claim about men, but my claim isn’t at all objective because most of the debates i engage in here are with men. so of course i’d think more men do this, because i’m not debating with the women often enough to see it.

so if you’re gonna complain about it, at least be balanced in your critique. don’t act like it’s just the women.

to be fair, i at least agree that people shouldn’t just be using person anecdotes to disprove someone’s point (unless it’s purely opinion based).

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It's one of these days.

One of these days where I feel that by exercising regularly, sometimes my mind gets too complacent. Because the effort is so mind numbing to get done with consistency, and it's easy to fall into the "not today". So I did all the exercises I usually do at once, so my mind and body have something to actually bitch about.

And it's something that's hard to understand to those who don't do sports : that moment you're done, sweaty, dizzy, and that hormonal rush, it never fails to remind me. Having started to eat more (and more healthily), I also think after that, it puts some meaning back on the action of eating. I'm not talking the impulse we have to get some junk out of boredom, but the hunger after working out.

I know it's PPD, but to me, that goes way above and way deeper at once than merely the goal of getting pussy. There's something primal in that. And it's hard to explain, but I just know for sure it's something we're losing slowly.

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Never understood why red pillers and alt righters are into Meditations.

Well this one's new. Arguably one of the greatest books ever to be written and youve reduced it to this.

Many many successful people highly respect the book.

Marcus Aurelius was a progressive ruler, a humble and forgiving man, a "cuck" who had a cheating wife and a disrespectful son and was never bothered by it

All I care about that's actually relevant was that he ruled the Roman Empire during its peak through his wisdom, as well as being educated by the best of his time.

I couldn't care less that he liked to pimp out his wife

His son was his biggest failure, and it's a common thing that successful men's biggest failures is their kids

Now, you tell me, why are some women so bothered about men discovering stoic wisdom?

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Men make more money in 70% of marriages.

how much more, where, today?

Pregnancy in the 21st century isn't some huge risk. You are being dramatic.

no i'm not, i agree that there's a lot less of a fatal risk today but a woman's brain and body changes after birth and there's a lot more that could go wrong than death. but it's natural anyway right 😃anyway still would rather have financial investment if anything

I see way more men being reluctant about kids and marriage than women.

it's way more difficult to find a man who doesn't want to fuck around but doesn't want kids eventually. even men who are fucking around want kids eventually, women who don't want them are upfront about it (about the fact that they do want them, or don't want them, or that they are indecisive about it at the moment) whereas from what i see men are more likely to change their mind on it

[–]TheJim661 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

US, like 3 years ago.

A good chunk makes a little more but the divide is MUCH bigger than in the 30% where women make more.

thank you for answering my questions, then i see your point. lots of kids born out of wedlock though, i think significant enough that having kids is still easier on a man than a woman.

Yeah but these changes aren't necessarily bad.I want talking just about death. Pregnancies aren't a big risk for women nowadays.

i disagree, these changes are bad but it's about the tradeoff. i'm just saying it's more of a health risk for women, pregnancy makes your hair fall out, for some women it could cause your teeth to fall out, the weight gain, postpartum mental illnesses, effects on your vagina (?????? scary), literally can cause you diabetes or other diseases depending on genetics i guess, etc. lots of horror stories even under the success of having the kid. and then afterwards... still usually mothers sacrificing sleep, the amount of stress, etc. etc. and feeling ugly

again it's about this being worth it still, i'm just quantifying it. there's a reason some women fear the experience and especially with the wrong partner who won't make it easier.

In this dimension?

yes most men imagine being fathers someday but i wish the minority who don't for similar reasons as me were larger lmao

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N cunts being a huge red flag for relationships is one of the oldest RP doctrines

Actually, the older RP doctrines are “don’t get into a relationship” and “enjoy the demise.” Worrying about what cancels her out for relationships is definitively not old school RP

this predates even RP and was part of basic PUA

Only right around the time PUA died. Once men start getting weird and tradcon moralizing, these movements die out. You’re seeing it happen with TRP right now - look at how many. RP OGs have completely fled the pillosphere because they’re sick of this shit

How is fucking a lot of chicks “traditional morals”

Are you kidding? Men used to see prostitutes regularly, and fuck the household help (with or without their permission). That’s where the bachelor party tradition started FFS

Men fucking “loose women” while “good girls” didn’t fuck at all is “traditional morals.” It really doesn’t get any more traditional than that

You think what killed PUA was a discussion about N counts?

Why are you hung up on N counts. What killed PUA was the tradcon moralizing - it morphed PUA into TRP, which is being killed by the same thing. It appears we’re morphing into some Jordan Peterson/Ben Shapiro pseudo intellectual version of both now, but who the hell knows where it will end up

You forget that PUA existed in the time of Facebook and message boards, eharmony/POF and online dating existed - social media helped it, it didn’t kill it

[–]TheJim661 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Actually, the older RP doctrines are “don’t get into a relationship”

"Managing your bitches" is 5 years old now on the sidebar and I'm pretty sure I can find even older stuff saying similar things. RP is a toolbox, you can do whatever you want with it, it just shows you how women work and how to navigate their sexuality in order to get it. You can use it for relationships, one night stands,OLTRs , marriage whatever. It's never been a prescription on how to live your life.

and “enjoy the demise.”

You mean enjoy the decline. That was about not trying to save society in some MRA struggle and to not be afraid to have your fun.

Only right around the time PUA died.

Not at all. This goes back to even before "The Game".Seriously , what are you talking about?

You’re seeing it happen with TRP right now - look at how many. RP OGs have completely fled the pillosphere because they’re sick of this shit

They leave the sub mostly because of the incel/black pill/mgtow invasion. There is barely any tradcon moralizimg and if there is its actual tradcon moralizing. Like religion and abstinence tradcon moralizing.

Men used to see prostitutes regularly, and fuck the household help

These are TRANSGRESSIONS of the tradcon morality. Not part of it. Tradcon morality is religion and no sex outside of marriage.

What killed PUA was the tradcon moralizing

I'm guessing you haven't really followed these movements.

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The big picture here is Smurf and I were there.

But apparently forgot that TRP has been giving LTR-related advice since the subreddit began and specifically against LTRing sluts . Things I've already proved by providing links by both illmitable man and Rollo.

I gave you links that contradict your alt narrative and you just ignore that and assert them as your own without explanation.

Lol. I didn't ignore them and I didn't "make them my own" ,Whatever that means. I quoted parts of the links you shared that clearly showed that things weren't how you are saying.

In that article Rollo never advises LTRing low N women, and in fact he argues that low-N women can be just as unsuited to LTR as high-N women.When confronted with that fact you just substitute your own interpretation.

https://therationalmale.com/2018/10/23/past-indiscretions/

"Women with a higher number of sexual partners have more difficulty developing solid attachments, a higher incidence of infidelity and higher rates of divorce. Primarily I see this as being due to the Alpha Widow potential (more lovers, more chance one makes a lasting Alpha impression) and the subconscious comparisons to a past lover. This is a workable theory as to why men adapted for a revulsion (or at least a hesitation) of high N-count women."

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But, in order to "enjoy the decline", you have to believe that there is in fact a decline happening. This necessitates the belief that things were better in the past, and that things are worse now and getting worse the further we get from that fetishized point in history.

TRP is heavily influenced by tradcons (and the alt right), and the similarities are deeper philosophically than the shared language between them.

"Enjoy the decline" has always been little more than a cope. I firmly believe that if they could, most RP followers would return to the vision of the past that they fetishize.

Both tradcons and TRP agree generally that things were better in the past and they agree generally on the reasons why they think things were better in the past. The only difference is that tradcons believe that they can drive society back to this idealized past (usually through religion), and TRP has given up on that and embraced hedonism. More than that, they both tend to share views regarding women's agency, and many of them share the same openly misogynistic beliefs.

Fundamentally, though, they are both wrong, and they are wrong in the same ways. There is no "Decline". The past that tradcons and TRP fetishize has never existed and to the extent that it did, it was only "better" for certain classes of people and significantly worse for everyone else.

[–]jax0061 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]akaean2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Here is the problem. You are selectively looking at the past through rose tinted glasses. Just like a tradcon.

For example, you say a "less than 50% divorce rate"

The low divorce rate was because divorce was heavily stigmatized, to the point where people felt forced to stay in toxic and abusive relationships. Spousal Rape wasn't made illegal in all 50 states until the 1990s. Physical abuse was something that was so normalized and so rampant, that it was the butt of a large number of jokes on one of the most memorable sitcoms of the 50s.

When people say that the divorce rate is too high, what they are really saying, is that they don't want people to be able to escape abusive relationships.

The past you fetishize... never existed. Just because you don't want to talk about the bad things that happened in our past, doesn't mean that they didn't happen.

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Following a conversation with a girl friend, I reinstalled tinder. Put some effort to get nice pics, but not full ham. We choose tinder on purpose because the ratio was garbage.

The thought experiment was that I wouldn't like any woman that has any of the following, and see how my experience would feel :

-Instagram/snapchat contact in their bios

-Empty bios/no interest listed

-Only heavy makeup pictures. A few are fine, but there has to be one where the most we see is hair done, skincare + light makeup. Basic bitch look if you will.

-Typical red flag : I'm bored, don't know what I want here, I installed that as a joke, here for validation, make me laugh

So far, on day 4. You'd be surprised the number of left swipes I do with just that. Had a few matches, did small talk. Another few are hidden, but I don't really care about that. I probably swiped left or they're too far away to be relevant. Some observations :

-Swiping left on these doesn't mean I swipe right on any after these either, it depends on what's said in the bio. Doing it this way made me care less about the overall attractiveness.

-I spend way less time on the app. Twice a day for ten minutes most, extra for the time when I talk.

-The overall strategy fucks with the goal of making you pay HARD. You have an actual goal and target (which make you care less about overall success less), never enough people to keep swiping in decent meeting distance, beside the ads being in your face, it's a big meh.

-Talking is way harder than expected and I suppose it's for both. I can't just small talk into how about we grab a drink in a public space at x place because duh, so it's cut off. And even clues in the profile are mostly generic because people are ironically afraid to stand out, so this doesn't help either. This strike me because I'm usually pretty good at starting this irl and even by message usually, but this environment is bad. Like, really bad.

I think I'll try that again once the pandemic is done, that seems to be a decent cost benefit analysis to me provided I'm ready to do a few weeks of that. I'm going to keep that going for a bit. I'd recommend to eventually uninstall and get that out of you even if you found no one, it doesn't enable the thoughts that make people pay in the end.

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If most people went outside and stopped eating corn syrup and vegetable oil they’d be fine.

https://www.gq.com/story/sperm-count-zero

The article focuses less on T than on sperm count, but the two are directly correlated:

Testosterone levels have also dropped precipitously, with effects beginning in utero and extending into adulthood. One of the most significant markers of an organism's sex is something called anogenital distance (AGD)—the measurement between the anus and the genitals. Male AGD is typically twice the length of female, a much more dramatic difference than height or weight or musculature. Lower testosterone leads to a shorter AGD, and a measurement lower than the median correlates to a man being seven times as likely to be subfertile and gives him a greater likelihood of having undescended testicles, testicular tumors, and a smaller penis. “What you are seeing in a number of systems, other developmental systems, is that the sex differences are shrinking,” Swan told me. Men are producing less sperm. They're also becoming less male.

Sure corn syrup and vegetable oils are unhealthy, but they are only a small part of a bigger picture.

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I met Anna-Maria Andersson, a biologist whose research has focused on declining testosterone levels. “There has been a chemical revolution going on starting from the beginning of the 19th century, maybe even a bit before,” she told me, “and upwards and exploding after the Second World War, when hundreds of new chemicals came onto the market within a very short time frame.” Suddenly a vast array of chemicals were entering our bloodstream, ones that no human body had ever had to deal with. The chemical revolution gave us some wonderful things: new medicines, new food sources, faster and cheaper mass production of all sorts of necessary products. It also gave us, Andersson pointed out, a living experiment on the human body with absolutely no forethought to the result.

When a chemical affects your hormones, it's called an endocrine disruptor. And it turns out that many of the compounds used to make plastic soft and flexible (like phthalates) or to make them harder and stronger (like Bisphenol A, or BPA) are consummate endocrine disruptors. Phthalates and BPA, for example, mimic estrogen in the bloodstream. If you're a man with a lot of phthalates in his system, you'll produce less testosterone and fewer sperm. If exposed to phthalates in utero, a male fetus's reproductive system itself will be altered: He will develop to be less male.

Women with raised levels of phthalates in their urine during pregnancy were significantly more likely to have sons with shorter anogenital distance as well as shorter penis length and smaller testes. “When the [fetus's] testicles start making testosterone, which is about week eight of pregnancy, they make a little less,” Swan said. “That's the nub of this whole story. So phthalates decrease testosterone. The testicles then do not produce proper testosterone, and the anogenital distance is shorter.”

The problem is that these chemicals are everywhere. BPA can be found in water bottles and food containers and sales receipts. Phthalates are even more common: They are in the coatings of pills and nutritional supplements; they're used in gelling agents, lubricants, binders, emulsifying agents, and suspending agents. Not to mention medical devices, detergents and packaging, paint and modeling clay, pharmaceuticals and textiles and sex toys and nail polish and liquid soap and hair spray. They are used in tubing that processes food, so you'll find them in milk, yogurt, sauces, soups, and even, in small amounts, in eggs, fruits, vegetables, pasta, noodles, rice, and water. The CDC determined that just about everyone in the United States has measurable levels of phthalates in his or her body—they're unavoidable.

What's more, there is evidence that the effect of these endocrine disruptors increases over generations, due to something called epigenetic inheritance. Normally, acquired traits—like, say, a sperm count lowered by obesity—aren't passed down from father to son. But some chemicals, including phthalates and BPA, can change the way genes are expressed without altering the underlying genetic code, and that change is inheritable. Your father passes along his low sperm count to you, and your sperm count goes even lower after you're exposed to endocrine disruptors. That's part of the reason there's been no leveling off even after 40 years of declining sperm counts—the baseline keeps dropping.

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https://www.gq.com/story/sperm-count-zero

I met Anna-Maria Andersson, a biologist whose research has focused on declining testosterone levels. “There has been a chemical revolution going on starting from the beginning of the 19th century, maybe even a bit before,” she told me, “and upwards and exploding after the Second World War, when hundreds of new chemicals came onto the market within a very short time frame.” Suddenly a vast array of chemicals were entering our bloodstream, ones that no human body had ever had to deal with. The chemical revolution gave us some wonderful things: new medicines, new food sources, faster and cheaper mass production of all sorts of necessary products. It also gave us, Andersson pointed out, a living experiment on the human body with absolutely no forethought to the result.

When a chemical affects your hormones, it's called an endocrine disruptor. And it turns out that many of the compounds used to make plastic soft and flexible (like phthalates) or to make them harder and stronger (like Bisphenol A, or BPA) are consummate endocrine disruptors. Phthalates and BPA, for example, mimic estrogen in the bloodstream. If you're a man with a lot of phthalates in his system, you'll produce less testosterone and fewer sperm. If exposed to phthalates in utero, a male fetus's reproductive system itself will be altered: He will develop to be less male.

Women with raised levels of phthalates in their urine during pregnancy were significantly more likely to have sons with shorter anogenital distance as well as shorter penis length and smaller testes. “When the [fetus's] testicles start making testosterone, which is about week eight of pregnancy, they make a little less,” Swan said. “That's the nub of this whole story. So phthalates decrease testosterone. The testicles then do not produce proper testosterone, and the anogenital distance is shorter.”

The problem is that these chemicals are everywhere. BPA can be found in water bottles and food containers and sales receipts. Phthalates are even more common: They are in the coatings of pills and nutritional supplements; they're used in gelling agents, lubricants, binders, emulsifying agents, and suspending agents. Not to mention medical devices, detergents and packaging, paint and modeling clay, pharmaceuticals and textiles and sex toys and nail polish and liquid soap and hair spray. They are used in tubing that processes food, so you'll find them in milk, yogurt, sauces, soups, and even, in small amounts, in eggs, fruits, vegetables, pasta, noodles, rice, and water. The CDC determined that just about everyone in the United States has measurable levels of phthalates in his or her body—they're unavoidable.

What's more, there is evidence that the effect of these endocrine disruptors increases over generations, due to something called epigenetic inheritance. Normally, acquired traits—like, say, a sperm count lowered by obesity—aren't passed down from father to son. But some chemicals, including phthalates and BPA, can change the way genes are expressed without altering the underlying genetic code, and that change is inheritable. Your father passes along his low sperm count to you, and your sperm count goes even lower after you're exposed to endocrine disruptors. That's part of the reason there's been no leveling off even after 40 years of declining sperm counts—the baseline keeps dropping.

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and would be used extensively in professional sports

No it would not because there are lots of different types of steroids and are taken in doses many many times the amounts of even the genetic elite produce naturally. Injectable test also stays cranked up high all day while natty test is released in pulses like sine wave. I have looked into it because I was tempted to try them.

I'm not saying it increases T but I do feel slightly different. I viewed it analogous to intermittent fasting. Most of men's horniness stems from DHT more than T since it binds to the receptors in the brain way more. It's one of the reasons men have lower reaction times than women and why the whoe trans in female sports should not just be boiled down to muscle mass being the sole benefit.

If nothing else, it showed me I have less desire to meet women when I masturbate regularly. Just telling you how it makes me feel.

[–]Kaisha0011 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No it would not because there are lots of different types of steroids and are taken in doses many many times the amounts of even the genetic elite produce naturally. Injectable test also stays cranked up high all day while natty test is released in pulses like sine wave. I have looked into it because I was tempted to try them.

I'm not trying to argue that there aren't many people in professional sports abusing PEDs. I was into natural bodybuilding, I had many friends who used all sorts of PEDs and researched it extensively.

But there are also a fair number of clean/naturals, and almost all the research conducted is on clean/natural athletes. If no-nut produced any measurable results, we would know it. Whether it be increase in T or any other direct or indirect increase to performance. As long as you're not fucking/masturbating within 1-2 hours of the actual competition, and aren't going at it 5x a day, it has no effect.

Just telling you how it makes me feel.

Which is why we run tests on these things, because how people 'feel' can be very misleading a biased.

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You are at the point I was at five years ago when I still thought there were people at the top level who are natty. If your government has spent over a decade in funding your training, your bursary, and you finally are good enough to make their Olympic squad but you refuse to take any drugs, they will just cut you and give them to the guy one place below and you will already be on them to be able to get to the college level. There is simply too much money on the line to be wasted because your morals won't allow you to take them. They have been around since the 1950s and there were stimulants 50 years before that and there are now drugs even more effective than ever before.

I'm still considering lifting heavy and hard then taking them especially when I see people making bank on insta who don't look that crazy. I've got pretty decent genetics and got a decent body from just callisthenics. Had a douchebag (as the yanks say) pic up before lmao.

Which is why we run tests on these things, because how people 'feel' can be very misleading a biased.

That means that you can only glean your info from centralised bodies and usually funded by Big Pharma. I don't think there has even been research on things like 'trenbolone cough' but we do know it exists and probably why.

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Oh yea one more thing.

What are some things your parents "forced" you to do as a child (hobbies, sports, instruments etc)?

Do you appreciate any of these things now that you are an adult?

Will you force your children/future children to do some specific things they dont want to do?

A few things my parents forced me to do, play football, play piano, do boxing and also my mom made me go to a ghetto school like 30 mins away from our home for elementary even though we lived in a MC suburbs.

I think for all of those things, even though I hated them at the time I am at least somewhat thankful for. Being forced to play football made me more comfortable in highly competitive high testosterone environments. Piano piqued my interested in learning instruments, though I cant play any well currently id like to pick it up eventually. Boxing gave me skills to better defend myself, ive probably been in like 10 fist fights in my life. And going to a ghetto school is how I met my lifelong best friend, it also gave me insight into how the truly poor live, and made me more greatful for the things I do have. Seeing struggle first hand made me realize how fortunate I am to have had less road blocks in life and how poverty can compound on people and keep them trapped.

For my future children I would force them to learn a martial art, and for a son id force them to lift weights/care about their body/fashion and become redpill.

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We were too poor to do any clubs/sports/activities when I was younger, but museums are free here and my mum taught us to read before we started school so as younger kids all our time was spent at museums, the botanic garden, or the library.

Not long before I started high school we moved to a seaside town so then our forced activity was when we'd get sent out in the cold to "play outside", which often involved sneaking a book out and reading at the beach 😅

When I was a little older and earning pocket money through chores I did some classes - kickboxing was one, and I started to learn the bagpipes at school. But I wasn't forced into either (and was actively discouraged from bagpipe practice). My mum's focus was more on us achieving academically - she wanted us to do really well at school, study all the sciences and a language. I wasn't allowed to take Art when we could choose subjects, and we had a massive fight when I refused to take Latin.

Do you appreciate any of these things now that you are an adult?

I appreciate that I have a love of books and museums tbh, but it would have been nice to have a bit more focus on activities to build a skill. I'm really sad that I can't play an instrument (dropped bagpipes after a few weeks since I wasn't allowed to practice in the house). I also did not appreciate the academic pressure. I did pretty well in school - better than the majority of people I know - but I didn't do as well as she expected and I was made to feel like a total failure, and it's a hard feeling to shake.

Will you force your children/future children to do some specific things they dont want to do?

I will want them to do some kind of class/join a team - possibly physical whether that be a martial art or dance or a sport. Or musical (or both). If they really hate it I won't force them to do it forever but it's definitely worth doing it for a good amount of time to see if it sticks. I do want them to have some kind of academic pressure (my partner's parents were the opposite to mine and he thinks that was just as unhelpful, so we'd like a middle ground). I want them to realise the importance of doing well so they have more opportunities, but not put so much pressure on them they rebel and slack off.

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this honestly makes me think about grown men who hit on me before too b/c i do kinda look like a baby :/ like, still lmao

girl, some of these men are seriously depraved. like you know some of them are only trying to get with you because they think you’re a teenager, and i find it sickening.

when i‘m barefaced and wearing clothes that aren’t form fitting, people often mistake me for a 7th or 8th grader. that’s how i know those guys specifically are nasty, because they’ll try to chat me up even when i look underage. then they get shook when i tell them i’m not underage, cuz they know i know they’re creeps.

i should be an undercover cop who catches pedos.

"goddess" is top tier. i've gotten "angel" before. and compliments from pretty women... chef's kiss

omg i love compliments from pretty women, they’re the best ones!

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No, and I would probably slap a guy who was so stupid as to offer me money (I really can’t fucking wait to get the inevitable DMs from incels for this answer)

I just posted this the other day, but I just found out that someone I used to respect explicitly trades sex for money. The more I think about it, the more I’m grossed out about the guy I found out she’s fucking for money - he fucks different hookers bareback multiple times a week, every week. I’m pretty sure science could find new STDs in his body; I have it on pretty good authority that his N is over 1,000. Worst of all, he’s a reprehensible human being

I can’t tell if I’m more revolted that she has sex for money, or that she’s doing it with this guy. I actually think it’s the guy that made me lose respect for her

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Salt update:

So I met up with another woman a couple days ago. The whole setup process went completely on script and as planned. She didnt push back at all on "not getting paid till the end of the month" like a large portion do. I could tell she was pretty into me. She has been pretty high interest. She walked into the hotel room and she was actually taller than me which I hadnt expected. We had sex and she was super into it the whole time, and has been texting me first since then with things like "thinking about you". Probably gunna ghost though, shes not hot enough to keep seeing haha. Other than that pretty uneventful. Cant remember if I mention about the last girl, but we met up 3 times before I ghosted.

Heres a bonus story from a few years ago I typed up while talking to a friend today, this was when I was still experimenting with salt and figuring things out.

I talked to this girl on SA for a few weeks, she was really hot. University student, blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin, legit an 8. And so I go to her off campus housing area, real rich kid stuff, like pool in the middle, basketball court, looked similar to a fraternity row, everyone looked like the stereotypical chad type. I meet up with her and we talk for a bit and have some drinks sitting on the sidewalk, the whole time im trying to convince her to let me in her place so we can fuck. she was being relatively flirty but also pushing back some. We go to my car and drink some more, talk for a bit more, things get kinda heated sexually after feeling her up and continually going for the kiss. I tell her im gunna take my dick out and jerk off to her and she says "do it pussy", so I do. We locked eyes, it was really hot, sparks flying, she wouldnt do anything with it though. A bit after this I remember her asking me to slap her in the face, I did it, but I over did it and she actually started crying. We were sitting in the car for about an hour so time had passed between these events. After this we start talking more and somehow the conversation of "if you were going to kill someone, how would you get away with it?". Me and her both agreed that an untraceable poison would be the best way. Then after that something just came over me, partially from the alchohol I assume. I just creeped in close to her, stared into her eyes menacingly and said with an implicit threatening undertone "You know, a lot of people who get murdered, they dont end up reported as murders, they end up on the missing person's list". she got so scared, I could see the absolute terror all over her face, she started fumbling for the door to get out and started screaming, then she ran out still screaming. I remember her wearing flipflops and being suprised she ran as fast as she did without falling. she called security on me and then they called the cops. The security dude blocked me in with his car. I felt I was too drunk to drive anyways so I just stayed there. Like 4 cop cars pulled up. The main cop was an army veteran and so am I so I was able to play on that. I also told them that she wanted me to pay her for sex. They talked to her about it and I assume she confirmed we met on seeking. Long story short they just let me go after breathalyzing me. Enough time had passed that I was under the legal limit, I hadnt drank all that much anyways. We matched on tinder months later and she told me she ended up getting kicked out of her housing area because of that incident. She also wanted me to sell her cocaine (which I told her I did and thats how I made money). Ended up blocking her after because I had concerns she might be trying to set me up.

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Oh please. Cheating by service members is so common the military does intervention education for enlisted and an married officer can actually be dishonorably discharged for a cheating scandal.

You said "oh please" like he was incorrect, and then explained how service members can be dishonorably discharged for cheating. It's mostly men in the armed forces, so it would be mostly men getting disciplined for cheating.

I'm asking why you would bring up that fact? It doesn't suggest that men cheat more. All it suggests is that civilians married to service members have more incentive to cheat since there are no repercussions. In this case, the women are more likely to be the civilians without repercussions.

I'm not disagreeing with you. I'm just trying to understand your train of thought and why you threw in that factoid after your " Oh please" when it doesn't really support your point (if there is one?).

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[–]ChaddamhuseinPost body before calling me an incel 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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I misread Maine as Marine.

One of my losses of innocence was reading a story in a gay magazine called "Marine Latrine." I wasn't all that innocent. I had been reading Playboy since before I could remember. Mama did love her some lipstick lesbians.

But what I read in that piece kind of shattered me. I was, I dunno, 15 or so, so fully cognizant of boner power. What I read about the fantasies of that particular degenerate, well, whatever, we all have our kicks, and you can't tell me the desire to get fucked (rather than to fuck) is anything other than innately biological.

What absolutely scandalized me was the idea that the ostensibly straight Marines, those realizations of all that is great and holy about American masculinity, would close his eyes and bang away just like it was any other hole.

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you guys should be allowed to cry for reasons other than watching the movie Rudy

Tears will be shed for Brian's Song as well. Don't you worry about that!

On a more serious note though, I would point out that I think the real issue are the social stigmas placed on getting help / therapy.

A lot of places, especially so on conservative or manosphere or alt right spaces strongly criticize mental health as a sign of weakness or as evidence of someone not being masculine. If someone is suicidal, and they have been conditioned to believe that seeking therapy will mean that they are weak or less manly... they will be less likely to seek treatment which might save their lives.

This honestly goes deeper than just toxic masculinity though, although there are tendrils there. This goes the the core of the problem of mental health stigma our society has in general. We are at a point where doctors are hesitant to diagnose people with and provide treatment for psych disorders they probably definitely have, because if the person can manage it on their own, even if they are managing it poorly, it can be seen as better than being stigmatized.

TRP definitely does not help with this, and I think a part of it goes to their fetishization and worship of traditional masculinity, which, in their definition, does not allow for cognitive variances.

Here is a TRP classic take on Mental Illness.

Learn how to game mentally ill women, because most women are mentally ill. (329 upvotes)

If conservatives, or TRP, or whoever, actually cared about male suicide, they would work to end the stigmatization of mental illness, and not arbitrarily punish or think less of men (and women) who seek treatment.

[–]angels-fanLoves Pibbles 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

See, the thing is, I'm not a crier. It's not like I'm not crying because I'm afraid of society judging me. I just don't cry, unless it's a traumatic life event like my brother's funeral.

The bigger problem is allowing men to have feelings other than feminist approved feelings.

If a man is upset about something that feminism doesn't approve of, he's ruthlessly shamed and told he's a man baby and called an incel. Ironically, often because he's hurting because of the shit show that is western dating.

"I'm really upset that the dating world is so lop sided and that men have to work so hard and face so much rejection to find love"

"Fucking incel!! Women don't owe you sex!! Go die in your mother's basement you fat neckbeard!!"

"whelp... Guess I'll just go kill myself."

"omg... Why don't men open up more and cry?"

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Right, and that's what I was alluding to.

How do you think feminists are helping with this cause when they shut down any attempts at processing emotions that don't fit within the narrowly defined range of acceptable problems?

A queer man struggling to find his place? Totally acceptable!

A straight white CIS man struggling with dating? White privileged incel "nice guy" that will most likely call every woman he meets a rotten cunt.

Have you actually read feminist responses to men that are struggling emotionally with things that feminists don't deem problematic?

So then feminists say, "it's not out job to make men feel better". Ok. Cool. So we can have men's spaces where men can support other men? No? That's misogyny? Huh ok.

It's the blatant double standards here that get me. Which, I shouldn't be surprised. Feminism runs on double standards.

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I bawled my eyes out at my brothers funeral right along with his toxically masculine good ol boy farmer friends.

This is how it's done. Get it the fuck over with.

Dad & Uncle Mike bought 40 acres together, 15 miles west of Cheyenne. A few years later, Dad sold out, bad call.

Uncle Mike got sick, some kidney shit. 2 years later, the dude who bought Dad's house, turned out to be a match for a kidney transplant. Done deal.

Uncle Mike was looking hale & hearty with his replacement kidney, back to being ruddy & robust. Not a year later, he had fatal heart attack having walked the quarter mile to check the mail.

And was found by....the donor.

I approached said donor at the funeral and assured him that Uncle Mike would have appreciated the absurdity over the situation but hated the reality of it, and we had a pretty good moment over it.

The donor seemed glad that some of us were willing to grab that third rail, LOL. I mean, seriously, Uncle Mike? At least hold out 4 or 5 years!

Never mind, men just bottle up feelz, go back to your regular programming.

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It is a factor though.

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-2475-y

In adjusted models, greater conformity to violent norms (OR = 1.23, 95% Confidence Interval [CI]: 1.03–1.47) and self-reliance norms (OR = 1.40, 95% CI: 1.15–1.70) was associated with higher odds of reporting suicidal ideation. Greater conformity to norms regarding heterosexuality was associated with reduced odds of reporting suicidal ideation (OR = 0.80, 95% CI: 0.68–0.91).

https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20200212/high-levels-of-masculinity-linked-to-increased-suicide-risk

Men coded as HTM were 2.4 times more likely to die by suicide than those without this designation; however, they found no association between HTM ( рigh traditional masculinity)and suicide attempts. Further, those in the HTM group were slightly more likely to report easy gun access (OR = 1.1; 95% CI, 1.01-1.2) and had modestly lower depression levels.

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It's always political reasons when the side you are on loses. It's so tiresome. The prosecution has made a great case. No reason to go into it as we will never convince each other but don't be surprised if Chauvin is found guilty and it won't be because of political reasons.

I will just say intent doesn't matter. Here are the charges:

Second-degree manslaughter: prosecutors will need to show beyond a reasonable doubt that he was "culpably negligent" and took an "unreasonable risk" with Floyd's life when he restrained him and that his actions put Floyd at risk of death or great harm.

Third-degree murder: requires prosecutors to prove that someone caused the death of another "by perpetrating an act eminently dangerous to others and evincing a depraved mind, without regard for human life.

Second-degree unintentional murder: show beyond a reasonable doubt that Chauvin caused Floyd's death while assaulting him.

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Was Chauvin following his training with the knee on Floyd?

His training is there to subdue and handcuff people resisting arrest. Floyd wasn't resisting at the end. They are also trained to put people on their side after the handcuffs are on

Could Chauvin have used more force, such as a taser?

Irrelevant

Was the scene safe for immediate medical attention?

The prosecution have gone through the video numerous times. There is no evidence that the police should have been scared of the crowd or that Chauvin couldn't have gotten off of him.

Did Floyd have deadly amounts of drugs in his system?

It may be deadly to someone but is fine for a person with a high tolerance. Prosecution also showed he did not die of a drug overdose so not-applicable.

Could the drugs in Floyd's system cause hypoxia?

The drugs could have but video evidence shows that is not the case. He died of low oxygen caused by not being able to get enough air because he was in the prone position and Chauvin was on top of him. The medical examiner that did the autopsy even said the restraint was the main cause of death.

Did someone give Floyd drugs that he took before the incident?

Irrelevant. Floyd did not die of a drug overdose.

Witness plead the fifth.

Again irrelevant.

There you go.

[–]NiceGuyNumber41 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

His training is there to subdue and handcuff people resisting arrest. Floyd wasn't resisting at the end. They are also trained to put people on their side after the handcuffs are on

So then there needs to be proof the knee killed him, yes?

Irrelevant

Relevant when you're suggesting too much force was used and that's why Floyd died. Either he used too much, or he was allowed to use more. Which is it?

The prosecution have gone through the video numerous times. There is no evidence that the police should have been scared of the crowd or that Chauvin couldn't have gotten off of him.

The prosecution's witness disagreed.

It may be deadly to someone but is fine for a person with a high tolerance. Prosecution also showed he did not die of a drug overdose so not-applicable.

Prosecution lied with statistics. Look at the actual numbers they put out. Floyd's fentanyl levels put him in the top 1% of OD deaths.

Could the drugs in Floyd's system cause hypoxia?

The drugs could have

Wow is that.... reasonable doubt?!

but video evidence shows that is not the case. He died of low oxygen caused by not being able to get enough air because he was in the prone position and Chauvin was on top of him.

You don't choke by applying pressure to the back or even the back of the neck. You also can't yell "I can't breathe" without any air (not to mention he had trouble breathing while still resisting arrest in the back of the car before he asked to be put to the ground).

Irrelevant. Floyd did not die of a drug overdose.

He did, though. Autopsy proves it.

Again irrelevant.

Autopsy. If it wasn't irrelevant he wouldn't be pleading the fifth.

There you go.

I'm underwhelmed.

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I dont like aesthetic, i like deep universe, and he lacks it to me, he need artistic devellopement, like he needs to conceptualize his artistic vibe in a more coherent way and i will dig it for sure...i feel like artist who have a artistic goal hit me more.

I just feel like he listen to a nice beat and throw gibberish on it and he wears some streatwear and people goes AESTHETIC OMG CEWL, like idk, isnt it what most soundcloud rapper do? compare to travis scott and don toliver which are my fav currently, i feel his less polished. It sounds also hella repetitive tbh.

Also i feel like he is dude being overhyped by his fan, who are giving him an artistic universe, he isnt the one really building his, i feel personally,

When you see a guy like travis, between drugs you should, apple pie, up top, i feel something you know?

His interview on Clique TV made me a fam of his vibe at least, his live performances ARE INSANE, his production and all i am just more into it lol, in their feets green and purple i feel like carti is like the side dish, ya knaw?

end word: carti and young thug same faith, you gotta have artistic devellopement to make it to the top

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What if there new partner is creepy or is abusing substances?

Then that would qualify as something "wrong" wouldn't it?

What if your partner has horrible judgement on people and situations?

Then I'd assume they wouldn't want the partner to have total and unsupervised access with the kid regardless if they had a new partner or not.

(Not to mention doesn't that just reflect negatively on them, like "my partner has horrible judgement with people and situations, but I'm the exception" doesn't sound too convincing)

I see in your second paragraph you state that if there is nothing “wrong” but there’s a ton of reasons to not feel comfortable with letting your kid go with a parent who you don’t trust (like there judgement).

But that's why I explicitly said if there wasn't anything "wrong". There are very legitimate reasons for why a parent might now want their kid hanging around their ex's new partner.

But if the main problem and issue that they have is "I don't want my child to be around my ex's partner simply because I don't like it" (something I've seen happen) then that's just petty and vindictive.

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Thoughts on the concept of "rape by deception"? Looks like New York is trying to make it a thing. Would be bad for me if this were to catch on. 🧂🧂🧂🧂

https://www.google.com/amp/s/reason.com/2021/04/08/deceiving-your-sex-partner-would-be-a-crime-under-bill-backed-by-new-york-democrats/%3famp

"Obtaining sex through "deception," "concealment," or "artifice" could violate consent. A group of New York lawmakers is trying to redefine consent in a way that would make it a crime to be less than fully truthful with sex partners. Under the new proposal, antics now considered merely caddish or immoral—like lying to a prospective sex partner about one's relationship status, social standing, or future intentions—would count as criminal sexual misconduct.

Now in committee, Assembly Bill A6540—sponsored by Assembly Member Rebecca Seawright (D–New York City) and co-sponsored by three other Democratic lawmakers—would amend New York state's penal code to define consent as "freely given knowledgeable and informed agreement" that is "obtained without the use of malice such as forcible compulsion, duress, coercion, deception, fraud, concealment or artifice."

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It's like me wearing a firefighters suit while not being a firefighter in order to bang chicks.

hey i don't judge

Like?

hmmm what about those shoe lifts, plus i'm sure some men have utilized the effects of natural looking skin makeup

What's important is they don't.

idk what men do to get ready

If she is low n she probably won't lie about it but how many of those are left in modern urban society?

more than it seems i think

Mostly when young but yeah we do do it too. It comes up less for us though.

true but some of you lie anyway. i think if it comes up for the man in regards to the woman at all she usually would want to know about her partner in return

I don't think makeup is an issue of course. I'm just showing how nonsensical such a law would be

true idk if it's really deception though. usually makeup is noticeable, it's just that men notice it and keep it in mind. if you like her facial features you'll probably like them fine without the makeup

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Yes we are an international community of people who like to do lil misfit such as changing your furniture a tiny bit, so you knock your foot thumb on it. Ofc these types of operations being what they are, we must be very organized, so we created the unified autonomous popular syndicated organization of evil workers:

We take it in turns to act as sort-of-executive officer for the week. But all the decisions of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two thirds majority, in the case of more major and external businesses.

Thanks to these measures our organization also known as the "bad boys" will secure your rights and freedom against outdated imperialist classist dogmas thats we see in our industry which perpetuates the economic and social differences between the workers thats we currently witnessing.

I hope thats this breakdown will help you want to get in our organization.

Ozy, the recent biweekly voted executive officer.

(gosh sometimes i get spergy, sorry for my english)

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Depends on the man, but in no particular order:

Fun. Everyone wants life to be fun, but adulthood tends to kick the fun right out of us. It takes a special personality to still see joy everyday

Sexuality. Even a beautiful woman will get boring to look at if you can’t interact with her body sexually with her enthusiastic participation

Matched life/career ambitions. For trad guys, they want a woman who wants a traditional (often SAH) role. Ambitious guys may want a power couple dynamic, or a support figure. Etc

Someone who enhances their place in their family/friendships

Someone responsible, practical and reasonable (to the extent that any human can be)

Someone who “looks the part” - if he’s goth, he probably wants a goth. Preppies want preppies. Etc

Someone who makes him a priority

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Take this with a grain of salt, because I live in an area where second (and third, and sometimes fourth) marriages are more common than average. Trophy wives and gold diggers are also more common than usual

But no, it’s not that bad. I had eligible guys pursuing and courting me pretty immediately, and I know my ex-h has had no shortage of eligible interested girls

There are some differences - kids and child custody/CS being pretty common - but it’s easy enough to avoid that crowd if you want to. People are also vetted pretty heavily by whether they’ve been married or in a significantly long LTR (huge red flag if they haven’t)

It’s just a different SMP/RMP, honestly. You age out of the first one when you graduate college. Age out of the second one around your mid-30s/the first wave of divorces

I’m in the third - mid-30s to about 50s. There is definitely a fourth when retirements and deaths start to happen (my dad was pursued pretty heavily around that time)

And you just need to look at the stats on STDs in nursing homes to know there even another one

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or is that what you see as a good looking woman?

I won’t lie, the fact that I fit the “type” of a lot of UMC/UC white guys definitely helps

But I have some very good looking friends who are struggling (one of whom I could probably write numerous TRP-friendly novels about). Other, more plain friends have had a really easy time finding good guys who want a LTR with them

I think one thing that happens when you shift into this particular RMP/SMP is that, while looks still matter, personality becomes more important to men. And it makes sense - people have a lot of responsibilities at this age, there are kids to take into account, finances (including child support) that need to considered, even the appearance of the partner/relationship matter a lot more (especially where visitation and custody come into play, but also in terms of career)

Men will always prioritize looks, but a hell of a lot more has to be brought to the table for a guy to be interested in a LTR. They just get a lot pickier as they get older, and a woman’s personality matters exponentially more

EDIT - re: newly divorced men, it’s a feeding frenzy. While I haven’t discussed it with my ex specifically, my understanding is that he was the center of a flurry of attention from single women, and there are still one or two who have made it known that it is their mission to lock him down

Divorced/widowed men have WAY more options than they did while single

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Ah thanks:

“this is why there was something right about the traditional 'success ladder' timeline of relationships and family formation that society rebeled against...you still see the following but only in the upper middle class/upper class.

the best relationships that I've noticed in my social circle are brad/becky types of various races.....going to good schools, meeting someone in undergrad or grad/med school, engaged at 24/25, married before 27, first kid before 30....

these weren't chad/stacy types but weren't physically unattractive either. just people who were intelligent, presented well, on the path to economic success/stability, coming from intact families...

...a lot of relationship disequilibrium on a macro sense stems from economic dislocations that have occurred.

for the Upper middle class, t20 alum set, professional set (especially if they are asian but even with my white friends), the above scenario/timeline i laid out rings true and is optimal.”

........

It was in response to someone writing that 20 year old men get frustrated with 20 year old women being taken from the market and 35 year old women getting frustrated that their peers have no interest in them

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If you want to get really jiggy with it, I always thought the Gnostics had the most interesting solutions. It kind of has some similarities to Hinduism / Buddhism which makes it even more interesting.

Monad / Sophia: The all powerful essence of god, the one truth from which all things spawn... A part of the Monad is Sophia who is the mother of...

the Demiurge: the arrogant false creator god, derives his power from Monad but is usually ignorant of any higher power than himself. Gnostics generally believed that the god of the Old Testament was the Demiurge.

the Savior: Gnostics were Christian, so they still held Jesus as the Savior. His purpose was to help people achieve gnosis. (a state very similar to eastern concepts like Nirvana). It entails people realizing that the material world is a false prison created by the Demiurge and becoming one with the Monad.

Christian Mystycism is super neat. Its such a pity the lame ass church went and decided that every gospel that didn't consolidate power into a central church was heresy, and snuffed out the Gnostics with blood and fire.

A really good example of pop culture application of Gnosticism is Xenoblade Chronicles (1).

!The Sword is named the MONADo... but even aside from that, the the parallels are striking. Alvis / the Monado = the Monad, Zanza = Demiurge, Meyneth = the Savior. There are even more references to Christian Mysticism scattered around, such as Egil's mech being named Yaldabaoth.!<

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Well I workout during lunch so the carbs from breakfast helps fuel that.

Ah I gotcha. Maybe try something lighter? I don't know if the eating is an issue for you but I usually drink coconut water in the morning along with some other almond-milk-type drinks if I have them. That holds me off until my break when I'm able to eat the beef jerky I keep in my backpack. Maybe your metabolism is faster than mine is because my body holds onto calories and doesn't want to let them go.

If I worked out in the evening it would probably matter less.

Probably. Might not always be possible to do though.

I actually forgot to eat breakfast yesterday and felt like I was going to pass out towards the end of my routine.

Oof. That doesn't sound good, especially with your condition, unless I'm confusing you with someone else now.

I don't have a problem with OVEReating but I do tend to undereat + eat too much junk. I've found a combo of eating breakfast and also focusing on macros over calories works for me

Yeah, fats help with satiety so as long as you know you're getting enough protein and carbs and plenty of (healthy) fats, you should be able to maintain weight with no issues after finding the right balance.

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Ok, tell me what would you do in a traditional relationship?

to me, a traditional relationship is a male-led relationship where both parties fulfill their gender roles. that’s it. it can look all kinds of ways, depends on what the couple likes; but the man is still the one wearing the pants.

that doesn’t mean he orders her around and she’s a servant for him, with no personal agency. that doesn’t mean they never compromise. it just means the man leads and makes final decisions on what affects the couple, not necessarily on the individual.

there are numbers between 1 and 100. what i mean by that is things aren’t always black and white. there’s no one way to have a traditional relationship, not every trad relationship looks like a dictatorship. there are traditional men who like gender roles and don’t expect their woman to be a doormat, domestic slave with no wishes or autonomy of her own. feminine /= slave.

Suppose a man is willing to protect and provide for you then what would you do in return? Have his children? out of boundary sexual acts? housekeeping?

obviously housekeeping and having children. i don’t consider sex something that’s “given,” it’s not a bargaining chip. it’s something people in relationships do. whether it’s an “out of boundary sexual act” or not.

i would do in return whatever he decides is fair and i’m willing to do. if he expects a clean home and warm meals on the table when he gets home from work, then that’s it. if he expects for me to be barefoot and pregnant, then that’s it. if he expects me to help him run a business or expects me to work a per diem/part time job, then that’s it. it’s up for the woman to decide if she’s cool with what dude wants.

like i said, this isn’t the 1950s. women have options. if men want women to be in trad relationships, they have to make it at least a half decent deal (and vice versa). no woman who isn’t into bdsm would consciously choose to be treated as a slave.

I never understood how a woman could ever compensate for a man who works all day for her and is willing to protect her.

you couldn’t understand because you don’t want to do it. men who genuinely want to do that don’t care what the woman is doing as long as she’s taking care of the house, taking care of him and the children, and staying pretty, or whatever else he wants her to do.

some men feel inspired to provide because they love their woman so much and she adds so much value to his life that he feels compelled to take care of her the way she does him. in this dynamic, it’s less transactional.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]_The-J0ker_ -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

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[–]reluctantly_red 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]thatguyfromrichmond 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]avolcando 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (86 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (64 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LowCredditTrans-Inclusive Radical Misogynist 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Sexlessness Survivor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MasterTeacher123 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_The-J0ker_ -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]_The-J0ker_ 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]lulll -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]lulll -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]no_value_maleNVM 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]no_value_maleNVM 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rft241 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]_The-J0ker_ 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girl1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SerpentCypher 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_mwk 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Sexlessness Survivor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_DrgreeNow Accepting Simp Applications[M] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]CanisLupisAutism 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_DrgreeNow Accepting Simp Applications[M] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]wekacuck 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanLoves Pibbles -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Sexlessness Survivor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]death_by_1000_cats 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nemporisso 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SerpentCypher 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]wekacuck -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago* (15 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rft242 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]rft24ethnic pocket stacy/manlet factory 💃🏾 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Danger3214 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]14 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SlashCo8014 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]lulll2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Chaddamhusein1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-2435-2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is patently false.

Attraction is complex and highly dependent on the model of attraction/love a person has as well as personal taste. My physical standards for example are pretty high but I won’t date even hot men I feel no chemistry for, and I could care less what other women find attractive. I wouldn’t date very wealthy men I wasn’t attracted to either (turned those down as well). There are women who are drawn to skinny musician types, nerdy men, even chunky men, academics, athletes, eco-conscious woke types, etc. even narcissistic sorts with zero achievement. Most of this is from how their preferences were shaped by their experiences coupled by their own personality traits. A fitness oriented woman isn’t going to usually want to date a guy with a dad bod. The body type I prefer intimidates some women. So on and so forth.

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ladyofblades1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]flamingoinghome1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24350 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]thatguyfromrichmond1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WestsideMoonWalker12 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SerpentCypher12 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WestsideMoonWalker2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]superlurkage5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]geyges16 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]poppy_blu6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]geyges3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WestsideMoonWalker3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Nation_of_Two1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WestsideMoonWalker2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]relaxandrule3112 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheJim6610 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0014 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]rft244 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Soon-to-be-Catlady0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Syrup-General11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Chaddamhusein9 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FrequentPangolin8 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays842 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Pilling_it1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays841 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Chaddamhusein0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bandit1743 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]FrequentPangolin2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]poppy_blu1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Terrible-Public-62800 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandias2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girl1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girl1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Ecocavalry2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Squiddy-the-wise11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832227 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Squiddy-the-wise3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832226 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]philomexa3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Slipthe2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]_mwk2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YoMamas_azz11 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YoMamas_azz2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832220 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Chaddamhusein1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]HOLYREGIME0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Soon-to-be-Catlady0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]IcarusKiki-2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YoMamas_azz2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]IcarusKiki-1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]IcarusKiki0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YoMamas_azz5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]10 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832223 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Slipthe1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OwOFemboyUwU10 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]avolcando7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24352 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OwOFemboyUwU2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays846 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OwOFemboyUwU6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays841 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays842 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24352 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Squiddy-the-wise5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]geyges2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CanisLupisAutism4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NiceGuyNumber43 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]zeedoctorzee2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]VerySad9710 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]AtlasBShruggin_esq12 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Bandit1747 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]evanstown217 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_71 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ex_red_black_piller2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]poppy_blu4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]VerySad977 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]VerySad972 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]death_by_1000_cats2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]poppy_blu0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]VerySad974 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]poppy_blu-1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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You can read some things about it, for example in TRP. Here's some advice for autistic dorks: most women want to play a "plausible deniability" scenario. Do not aim for a chain of events in which you both have equal responsibility and none of you could be construed as guilty of anything. You must take initiative, introduce some element of you being so smitten that you stepped out of reasonable behavior. Obviously this has to be balanced with the fact that you still need to be reasonable; ideally this element can be minimal or even symbolic. But basically, you should be ok with the idea that you're not only responsible for the relationship, you can even be blamed for it, because you committed an original sin when starting it. If you can't / don't want to do that, you're not entirely doomed but your options will be restricted.

[–]reluctantly_red6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]TheJim661 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

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[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (20 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Special-Armadillo-99 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]reluctantly_red 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GlassPsychological54 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

[–]HOLYREGIME 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays84No Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays84No Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]NarniaFox 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]NarniaFox 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]relish5kpolitically red pilled, sexually blue 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (35 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]NarniaFox 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Sexlessness Survivor 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Sexlessness Survivor 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Special-Armadillo-99 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChaddamhuseinPost body before calling me an incel 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]zeedoctorzee -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_mwk 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Banned_BY_SOYMEN 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ChaddamhuseinPost body before calling me an incel 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlYou can't scare me -- I work in a school! 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MasterTeacher1230 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I remember awhile back there was a discussion in another sub on swingers clubs/meetings and some girls asking “why don’t male virgins just join those clubs? Shouldn’t it be easy to get free sex there?”

My 2 problems/questions with this are

1.)Isn’t this like couples only thing? Like I bring my wife/GF and we trade for the night type shit? Male virgins don’t have GFs or wives so wouldn’t they be assed out? Also aren’t these things more of a social network type thing where you gotta know people? These people tend to not have big or any social networks and if they do it probably isn’t going to be people in the swinging community lol

2.)I’m sure singles go, but don’t those guys have to be hot? Like I’m sure if a 25 year old single dude who looked like Brad Pitt walked in the women there aren’t gonna kick him out lol. Those women wanna fuck but that doesn’t apply to these sexually unsuccessful men. They may not be “ugly” but chances are they’re not stunners in addition to not having a partner they still are assed out.

[–]Slipthe4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Barneysparky4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Danger32142 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]OXOzymandias1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]DragoonXFury0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Disappointed I was not able to do shrooms on my birthday because my friend's dealer was a no show.

Still went on a 10 day bender though; plenty of coke, ketamine, weed and vallium to consume. Man, I ended up doing like 15 lines of ketamine and the k-hole was excellent. I put on this gothic metal album and every riff and transition of songs morphed and affected whatever visuals I was seeing into something extraordinary.

I don't think I'm buying MDMA from London again because me and friends bought some twice and they were both weak as fuck (especially since a lot of us haven't taken any MDMA in a couple of years) which rarely happens up north. Man, I love Leeds and their drugs.

I guess I'm learning more and more why London is considered coke central in the UK because literally every other hard drug here is shit or good quality is very hard to come by (not to mention the market for certain drugs have taken a hit).

[–]passepar2t2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]MasterTeacher1231 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]JohnDoe95641 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Danger32141 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]YoMamas_azz0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

How do you guys think the chauvin trial will end?

I just hope that whatever the outcome, the jurors do not let the mob in any way influence their decision.

Lets have a thought experiment, and Im purposely generalizing this to try and cut down on bias due to personal opinion of the chauvin case.

You are a juror on a case with nationwide attention. You know that if a not-guilty verdict is reached there will be nationwide unrest, riots and likely billions of dollars im property damage, violence and perhaps killings. You have a reasonable doubt as the to the guilt of the defendant. You do not think for certain, or even with high probability that they are innocent, but you think there is a reasonable enough chance they do not meet the criteria for the charge. Do you voice your opinion and enter guilty to appease the mob, or do you elect to light the powder keg on principle?

Now, personally I think many or even most jurors probably do believe chauvin is truly guilty, the reason I ask this question is to have a conversation about the chance that any juror feels coerced or even influenced into making a decision they do not agree with.

[–]Willow-girl6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I'm talking about in context of pursuing romance.

hmm i think social circle is the best option that average to below average men have (i guess other than trying some combination of improving their looks, game, personality which ties into friendship/social circle). can you think of a better way (other than just dropping out of social interaction altogether which is worse, friends can at least give you support and comfort and you get a chance to try)??

i'm sure a lot of incels are lonely b/c of a lack of friends and support as well. at least i remember seeing those complaints on the sub here, so friends can actually help a ton.

I know women can live their whole lives without romance and sex but that just bolsters the notion of women as cold loveless beings that just see men as utility objects.

i think men can do this too, they do it loudly ( r/MGTOW ). maybe not without sex. idk. but that doesn't mean women are cold loveless beings

[–]LeJacquelope1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

hmm i think social circle is the best option that average to below average men have (i guess other than trying some combination of improving their looks, game, personality which ties into friendship/social circle). can you think of a better way (other than just dropping out of social interaction altogether which is worse, friends can at least give you support and comfort and you get a chance to try)??

Oh that's easy: OLD. Men made a mass exodus from the "Social circle" scene to online dating for a reason. That reason was because for all the shitshow OLD is, real life is a whole other level of hell.

i think men can do this too, they do it loudly ( r/MGTOW ). maybe not without sex. idk. but that doesn't mean women are cold loveless beings

Women do it because they can't find a Chad to lock down. Men do it because they tried it out and got burned.

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelope1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

it's literally the opposite, how is OLD better than real life dating in any way?

Well for one, you can still impress a woman with words and get around the looks thing if you avoid Tinder. Tinder has unfortunately degraded the quality of the OLD experience. My wife approached me first on Match.com.

Then you don't have the problem of approaching women in a social setting only to find you're intruding on her time and space. Cold approaches in OLD aren't quite so cold - everyone knows they're there to meet someone. That's a huge ocean of sharks that a man doesn't have to swim across right there.

OLD bypasses the social circle dilemma. When used right you can filter for personality and moral character traits. There's so many advantages to OLD that real life would never give you.

it's not "Chad or nothing" for even most women.

More women than ever are taking that route.

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i don’t understand how people don’t get the difference between polygamy and monogamy. it’s like they want to pretend their relationship is monogamous when it really isn’t.

if you’re cool with your partner cheating on you or y’all think it’s cool to cheat on each other, then it’s not cheating. that’s basically polygamy. if you genuinely believe you and/or your partner are incapable of remaining monogamous: don’t commit to monogamy. this is really not a hard concept to grasp.

not every relationship or marriage has to be monogamous or is meant to be. it’s okay to get into a polygamous relationship, and it’s also okay to later decide that you want to open your marriage if you’re both on the same page about it.

it’s not okay to make a monogamous commitment and then expect your partner to accept your cheating when it’s not what they signed up for (not to mention, it’s cruel and hurtful).

cheating is something that is done without permission. it is a betrayal of trust. if permission is there and trust is not broken, it is not cheating.

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[–]NarniaFox6 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh, there is a whole bunch of possible reasons for it.

Some people have really poor personal borders, so it's hard for them to recognize that their borders got violated.
Some can think that rape always includes a stranger and a victim who tries to resist. So if they were assaulted by a person they know well or by someone they've previously had consenting sex (maybe even on a regular basis), or if they froze instead of screaming and punching, it can be hard to wrap their head around it.
People might be hesitant when they have to admit (to themselves in the first place) that something traumatized happened to them or that the person who they thought well about or who they loved has done this to them.
Gaslighting can happen. A guy can force his girlfriend to anal sex and then gaslight her into believing that it wasn't rape at all (although it was).
Some get to understand that something bad happened to them long after it happened. Either because these memories got "displaced" (not sure what's the right word in English) as a reaction to shock or because they didn't know that what was happening to them was bad. Like a person who got groped as a child can recollect it far later in life and only then get disturbed.

Look at AITA sub, it happens not only with sexual violence.

Edit: also I think that it can happen to male victims because the stereotype that men can't get raped is really pervasive.

[–]HOLYREGIME1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Some can think that rape always included a stranger and a victim who tries to resist. If they froze instead of screaming and punching.

Gaslighting can happen (Coercion)

Both of these have been “recent” editions and the goal is to remove all accountability for the women. These pretty much act as a catch all since the dark alley, stranger rapes have become the minority.

Freezing is a poor excuse. This fails the opposite test. Most men would react with “screaming or punching” if they were about to be raped by not another woman, but another man. Women should try it.

Most forms of coercion shouldn’t be classified as sexual assault either. The rich and powerful metoo movement sure, but not some average guy begging his girlfriend for anal, which she probably agree to, doesn’t enjoy it and claims rape. Most of the time it’ll be an acquaintance and not some guys actual girlfriend. Plus coercion is very inconsistent. Every husband begging his wife for a crumb isn’t going to be hauled off to jail nor is chad for promising a relationship to Becky in exchange for a blowjob.

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[–]YoMamas_azz-3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

New pickup routine ive been thinking about trying out.

So first off, I am not of the mind that you should aim to make a woman feel good, regardless of if she is receptive to you or not. If she rejects me, I honestly dont care about if she feels negatively. This is only for if I will likely never see them again though, I wouldnt want it effecting my reputation.

Anyways, so what I would do is take a picture of a woman who is wearing revealing clothing, for example, tight yoga pants. I would then go up to her and show her the picture and say in a cocky yet playful way, "What do you think? Is this picture flattering?".

From there there will be some diverging event trees. Either she will be receptive and playful back, offended or a 3rd option, able to be swayed in either direction.

For the first path, id just proceed in the conventional pickup way. For the 3rd path, I would proceed conventionally as well. If she gets uppity and asks me why I took a picture of her id say "because im gunna jerk off to it later". If she tells me to delete it, id say "If you go on a date with me I will". For the 2nd path, it will be much like the second path failure. Id just hold it over her head and try and get under her skin.

Why do it this way? Because in each situation you now have a hook in. In most instances she is going to be curious to/be upset why you have a picture of her. Which gives you some leverage to work with. Normally they could just very easily shoo you away without a second thought. And if it fails, you probably upset her, and id rather take negative attention over no attention.

Thoughts?

Oh yeah, inb4 "youll go to jail". Theres no legal expectation of privacy in public. So Im allowed to take pictures of whoever I want. If she tells me to leave her alone then I would, so it wouldnt be harassment.

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Weekly Community Chat Megathread

Comments

This Is The Way Leaderboard

Title	Weekly Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	15
Comments	4754
Date	April 12, 2021 8:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mplzzm/weekly_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weekly-community-chat-megathread.1188732 https://theredarchive.com/post/1188732