Seriously what are autistic men supposed to do?

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2024-05-29T21:31:13+00:00

If your a late bloomer (like me) me then I’m sorry but it’s just not going to be easy. The truth is, you are going to have to work hard to get anything, especially what you want. And no matter how much you try, people along the way (at least here) are going to say you just aren’t doing enough and clearly arent trying as hard as they did, when they aren’t even playing the same game. The process of making mistakes and learning through dating, they had the benefit of doing with other people who were also learning and were more forgiving as as a result. You will have to face a lot more rejection at first, and keep a positive attitude through it as more and more people. But if you can emerge yourself in a circle of friends that are cool and understanding, and can see the good in you, it might make the process a lot easier.

Whether or not it’s fair, isn’t really something to dwell on. It’s just how it is, but don’t take what other people here or elsewhere say about you all that personally. Chances are they are just miserable themselves too, despite claiming to have what they want.

Lilrip1998 · 2024-05-29T20:26:56+00:00

It’s definitely trickier for ND men because so many people expect men to approach first.

Honestly I’d put yourself in social situations and just be okay with eating shit for a while.

Every ND guy I know that is able to maintain romantic relationships has a story about how they were super awkward but kept trying. They approached whoever was there until someone was down to talk to them. They didn’t linger after getting a no they just got a “okay have a good night”.

They’d go away and try to figure out “what happened” that made the interaction go south, they don’t do that again and just keep sharpening and gained a better understanding of social dynamics.

Basically you just have to let rejection not bother you as much.

bloblikeseacreature · 2024-05-29T21:34:35+00:00

i'm audhd and engaged to an autistic man.

someone in your position doesn't have a whole lot to lose by trying something different. there's lore out there that experimentally allistics clock masking in less than a second, and it gives them the creeps largely because it looks indistinguishable from predatory narcissistic/antisocial masking that falls just short of efficacy, right in the uncanny valley. same lore says a significant percentage of them will revert to seeing you as just a normal person if you relax the masking and are open about being autistic instead. most club members don't believe it, but a few swear it works, and it's not like the unbelievers have given it a try. it sounds like it would be very sensitive to execution and people aren't eager to go humiliate themselves. but it kind of tracks with some of my experiences enough that i'll probably try it at some point myself.

UnkleReagan · 2024-05-30T05:05:56+00:00

It's obvious isn't it? Be a good little submissive worker drone for the system; then die alone & childless, when no longer useful. Even in so called "traditional" societies, we're encouraged to be monks or celibate scientists/scholars. As to not spread our "bad genes" & to leave enough women available for the "normal people".

bubbagator · 2024-05-29T21:13:44+00:00

I hear you man, I really do

A lot of women are gonna look me over because I'm short. Why would I want to change their mind and try to convince them to give me a chance? In the end, it makes my life easier, because that's a portion of women I don't even have to consider and can move on and focus on those who might want to get to know me anyway.

The same goes for being autistic. It might feel constricting that so many options might get filtered away against our control. Instead of 80 out of 100, there might be only 10 out of 100 women left who would give me a chance.

Honestly, in my experience, those women that are left are the only ones worth trying for anyway. It might take longer, and it might be more difficult to break through the self-confidence and anxiety and insecurity barriers, it did for me, but it's not impossible, and it'll be worth it when you do meet that person that takes the plunge with you.

You don't have to do anything. I get the feeling of needing to do something, anything. I've personally failed a lot by trying too hard, making a fool of myself, and hurting people, until I finally starting seeing improvements in my life, when I just sat back and did nothing but wake up and live my life.

Key_Living8926 · 2024-05-29T21:17:52+00:00

I dated an autistic man for a while and the sex was great tbh but he could really be an asshole sometimes and he would very conveniently use the "How dare you to hold me up to a Neurotypical standard? thing and "I have carte blanche to be an asshole and will probably continue to be". So, yeah.... just my two cents.

LessthanEli15 · 2024-05-30T04:16:06+00:00

I’m bi-polar, manic depressive and autistic with plenty of learning disorders.

23 years old. Been paying prostitutes for years to be nice to me. It’s unfortunate but love isn’t for everybody no matter how badly you want it.

Find comfort in accepting your unable to be loved and if you can’t, well you know what your going to do. I’ll be doing the same soon

MistyMaisel · 2024-05-30T02:02:44+00:00

I've dated a few ND dudes and one autistic dude.

Firstly, you could be enough for someone. Possibly even their world or at least a significant figure in it.

Ultimately, you're going to have to be very uncomfortable a lot. You're going to have to be very self sacrificing about how you do things and communicate a lot. You're going to have to hope that she is too. Stranger things have happened.

What isn't great, is going into this thing eyes closed thinking it'll be roses or that other people have to change drastically to fit you or should be very forgiving. Most won't be until they care about you. So you've gotta make them care first and then you've gotta not push it too far so that the caring breaks.

Realize that sometimes, it's a matter of finding people with compatible mistakes. I would recommend seeking a ND girl if possible or very shy women. Perhaps even an introvert or extrovert depending on how your autism works.

AngeCruelle · 2024-05-29T21:05:43+00:00

Start by not treating the opinions of random women on the internet as the overarching gospel of how every woman you will ever meet feels.

harmonica2 · 2024-05-29T21:14:43+00:00

I'm autistic and I have an autistic gf so perhaps it's possible for other autistic guys therefore?

I asked my gf way back why she picked me over other guys and she said it's because I am more masculine than the average guys she's met.

Could this be a bigger chance of success if the guy were to act way more masculine than average?

goo_wak_jai · 2024-05-30T03:45:37+00:00

Use autism to your advantage. Admit to yourself and accept that you'll always be weird to somebody somewhere at all times. You can't control how people think, feel, and/or react. All you can do is control how you think, feel and/or react to people's responses to what they perceive as odd behavior coming from you.

People with autism typically have a heightened 5 senses, meaning, they have a higher ability or experience of sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. Not only are those things on a whole different level, but it includes brain activity.

If you think about it, that's kind of like mutant abilities from the X-Men (or pick your favorite comic whose superhero has a certain type of 'special' ability).

Framing the overall picture like that, you can maybe begin to see things--truly see things--from an autistic individuals perspective because all your life, society teaches you to be mediocre or what they call 'normal', to fit in, and/or be part of a collective who all think more or less alike. The question is, do you really want to be that? Most high functioning autistic folks I've come across generally do not wish to fit into the normal populace. In fact, it doesn't even occur to them that they should even try or care. They are what they are and that's enough for them.

Normal might get you laid or might get you into a relationship--but no one ever says this out loud that getting laid or getting into a relationship isn't the 'end all, be all'. It's a step into a potential progression into something more deep and meaningful or it may lead you down a path of destruction. People oftentimes gullibly think they'll always land in the former but the probability of the opposite happening is just as likely.

On the flip side, non-high functioning autistic individuals on the opposite end of the spectrum also do not give two shits what the normal population's care abouts are. They are too lost in their mental or sensory overload to care about what's going on with folks outside of themselves.

It's the folks in the middle of the autistic spectrum that struggles the most--so far that I've seen or come across. Because you're not quite high functioning yet also not quite low functioning. It's a weird middle ground that the closest equivalent explanation that I can think of is that you're basically a normal person except with this multitude of diseases that plague your life constantly.

Nevertheless, I would still give the same advice that I would give to a high functioning autistic to those who land in the middle down to the most opposite end of the spectrum.

trilingual3 · 2024-05-30T10:32:37+00:00

Let me just say that I'm an autistic woman (undiagnosed) who specifically wanted to date an autistic guy, like it was one of my top things I looked for in a partner. When I found him, I was super excited that he has it, and he thought this was weird.

There are women out there who want to date someone who has autism or is introverted or is nerdy or whatever. Don't believe that some random woman on the internet represents all of us.

hypoglycemia420 · 2024-05-30T12:20:06+00:00

Working in the service industry completely changed my ability to interact with people. Be a bartender or server, it’ll get you where you want to be

Witty-Respond3636 · 2024-05-30T14:02:41+00:00

Make a lot of money that you then spend all on Legos. If she'll listen to you talk about Legos for hours on end then you're golden.

Green_Jelly3542 · 2024-05-29T20:19:34+00:00

Autistic guy here.

I hyperfixated on seduction and attraction (pre looksmaxing), then pulled away from the community, taking the basics with me.

Have had a few relationships, am currently in one, could easily have casual sex, but see it as pretty self destructive.

Being autistic gives you disadvantages and advantages. Id recommend to get some people to help style your clothes and hair, and also make sure to aim at the type of women who will be attracted to you.

To this day, I would be useless picking up in a nightclub. But at a university campus it's like free pickings.

Feel free to DM if you have any specific questions.

one_time_animal · 2024-05-29T21:10:41+00:00

If women like how you look they will fuck you and then tell their friends how funny you are. Is the question 'i never formed healthy habits because of inadequate socialization "? Then form healthy habits now.

Is your theory that women don't like you because your weird? Women love when they can describe an attractive man as weird. They take pride in pretending they're special themselves for liking a weird person

Bubbly_Pension4020 · 2024-05-30T01:48:04+00:00

Meditate. Like a ton. At least an hour a day. Trust me, it does something to your brain chemistry. You'll start getting better with the nonverbals. Exercise helps too. This is just a thing I've found. You're going to have to have a disciplined regimen to do things that most people just naturally do.

Don't draw attention to your autism or lack of sexual history. Just don't make it a thing in conversation. If you seem normal to them they're going to assume that you had normal life experiences.

Focus on other people more, and let them do most of the talking. Autistic people have a fairly strong tendency to just ramble about shit no cares about. This is actually a problem that most normies have as well, but with autistic people the fact that their interest is often completely left-field just make it worse. The goal in conversation should be to try and get them to ramble about their interests to you rather than the other way around. This is the thing about being a human in general. You're kind of a big deal to yourself, but not to anyone else. So, you might care about how impressive or pathetic you look, but other people just care about how impressive or pathetic you make them feel.

I have some things working for me like height, but when I was young I had the ability to eventually sperg out already interested women away. I found though that if you're willing to analyze things you can often end up doing better than the normies, so I wouldn't worry too much about milestones or whatever.

shmupsy · 2024-05-29T21:49:28+00:00

in an age where women can now choose from a wide spectrum of guys, there are going to be more men that never date.

there would be ways one could use the government to change the culture away from this bad outcome. but nobody on this sub is interested in that. it's unpopular in the USA where people hate the idea of propaganda and are taught to believe it's always bad.

so that's the liberalist freedom bed we made for ourselves. we love markets!! the sexual marketplacerino!!! love is now a fucking transaction, and if you disagree, you're on the wrong side of history, bro!

so there's literally nothing you can do. pray you get good sex dolls in your lifetime. i just don't understand what better anyone expects

Next-Vermillion · 2024-05-30T10:08:03+00:00

I wouldn’t agree with you about men being judged more for being autistic in comparison to women, but rather quite the opposite. Just try to observe what neurotypical people do and try to understand the thought patterns behind it, social skills are learnt for everyone, same thing for NT people and autists, it’s just harder for autistic people. Sure you might never be incredibly “smooth”, but you will be fine if you spend more time with people and just “practice” a bit

classicslayer · 2024-05-30T11:23:39+00:00

Live your life and stop taking what mentally ill women on a niche subreddit say seriously.

tacticaltossaway · 2024-05-29T20:11:57+00:00

Hope you can channel your autism into making loads of money.

Zabadoodude · 2024-05-29T20:59:31+00:00

Realistically it's a massive disadvantage the way being extremely physically unattractive, or deformed is. It sucks but life's not fair. It is still possible to find a happy relationship, but it's an uphill battle.

The best strategy is to try to get as much practice socialising as possible, to get experience with it, and to improve yourself in other areas to compensate. Most women still won't be interested, but some will. Try not to dwell too much on the failures

geusebio · 2024-05-30T07:54:51+00:00

We're supposed to die alone and get out of the NT's way and be the parable to learn from to use as the example of what not to do.

Acaciduh · 2024-05-29T20:20:27+00:00

I mean it’s been spouted on here plenty about getting a starter girlfriend to practice on so women are right to be a bit leery about getting with a guy with no experience past a certain age. Just as men don’t want to be beta buxxed, women don’t want to be the “you’ll do” girl.

With that said “just date autistic women” is a valid and realistic approach. Whether they can still get dates with NT people is irrelevant- they’ll still be more attuned and forgiving of ND men because they can have the same social issues. You’re going to have an easier in with introverted Mary who may have stims and an aversion to loud noises than with party girl Jessica who clubs.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-05-29T20:20:48+00:00

Do what you can control. No one is obligated to give you a chance. Either you become successful and find your person /handful of individuals who are happy to give you a chance or you don’t. It’s the gift of hope and perseverance.

69BillyMays69 · 2024-05-30T01:51:31+00:00

You aren't "supposed" to do anything, and women want you to know your place and stay down. Autism is creepy to them after all, and It's an inconvenience for them to even have to be in the presence of an autistic person.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2024-05-29T21:36:36+00:00

well what are you good at? and i mean this in regards to how you interpret information

antariusz · 2024-05-29T22:24:11+00:00

Stop wearing your autism so openly. Don't talk about it, don't think about it, blend in.

If you can't, then you won't ever have a relationship. If you're able to mask it well enough, then to the rest of the world it's like you aren't even autistic.

It's like CCW, concealed means concealed.

Guess what, you aren't a disney princess in a magical ice kingdom, you don't have that luxury.

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gntlbastard · 2024-05-30T00:42:46+00:00

First off, your loneliness and life are yours to fix and solve. Asking a woman for solutions about such things is part of the fucking problem. Only you can make you happy.

Traditional_Curve401 · 2024-05-30T01:48:37+00:00

Depending upon your age, joining a support group specifically for ND people would likely be useful to help you with social awkwardness, better understanding of social cues in a relationship, build your confidence, etc.

Some self-work would likely be useful before trying to approach a woman you're interested in.

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-05-30T05:03:23+00:00

Try hookers and/or trans. You gotta think out side the box here.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2024-05-30T05:10:50+00:00

Your last sentence makes me think "so why would I want to date you?" But I’m NT. A ND woman would likely prefer your company since you’d understand her better. And relationships start and end all the time. Plenty of single ND women out there.

snoo_gooner · 2024-05-30T06:22:54+00:00

Goon.

Ok-Specialist-4777 · 2024-05-30T06:33:45+00:00

Stick to the basics. Be in incredibly good shape, dress well, smell good, and don't be broke. Find male friends who can be a source of social proof for you in social settings. Go out and get your reps in talking to women, and it's highly probable you'll be able to sustain a romantic relationship.

West-Veterinarian387 · 2024-05-30T10:11:29+00:00

You have to stop caring about dating and relationships sadly. They aren't really for autistic men in the modern dating era. Women, more than ever, care a lot more about the physical side of dating and less about the financial aspect they did in the past. They are now free to pick and choose with the financial burdens of the 1950s. So obviously, now that they have plenty of money and the ability to collect resources (houses, cars etc), they will only pick the best genetically fit men to mate with. And autistic people just don't fit that bill.

Find solace in it and enjoy your own hobbies and life.

MasterTeacher123 · 2024-05-30T10:43:42+00:00

Well for one, the vast majority of “late bloomers” are not autistic.

KingOnixTheThird · 2024-05-30T15:00:59+00:00

If you're an autistic guy, your only options are obese chicks, hookers, or mail order brides.

Top-Middle-2791 · 2024-05-30T16:15:23+00:00

I'm going to read every single comment on this thread

Trouvette · 2024-05-30T17:00:31+00:00

Autism is more than just a weight on your back. It’s a medical condition. So treat it. They have therapies to teach people with autism how to pick up on social cues and how to respond to them appropriately. You won’t be as astute as someone without it, but you can develop and refine your social skills.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-05-29T21:49:23+00:00

Women do better because they mask better. We learn what the world expects of us and do that. It’s exhausting.

Autistic traits absolutely take away from womanhood. Women aren’t allowed to have meltdowns or act violently. We aren’t allowed to be hyperfixated on how bridges are built or how the public transit system was planned out, or any other not girly interest. We were given baby dolls, toy vacuums and kitchenettes while our brothers got dinosaurs and chemistry sets. Their interests encouraged while ours stifled. Women cannot be unkempt or not stylish. Trying to dress for comfort has you labeled as a “tomboy” or weird. Any typical frustration is seen as hysterical. We are grossly infantalized. In conversations on topics we’ve studied for years are entirely discounted, or you’re told you’re talking too much, so no ability to info dump or share knowledge.

On top of that women are diagnosed less often and later in life leading to a decrease in support services provided, forcing autistic women to mask and fit in “appropriately.”

I’m not saying autistic men have it any easier - I’m just saying, don’t discount autistic women like we’re all just having such an easy time. We’re taken advantage of more often, used more often and are victims more often of abuse and assault. I wouldn’t say that’s being “valued more.”

apresonly · 2024-05-29T21:21:35+00:00

the crumbling of community is bad for every single person on the planet, especially everyone in the west where this is happening more rapidly.

you can put a bandaid on this problem, but really the only solution is to actually live in communities where people give a fuck about each other instead of this nuclear family hyper individualism bullshit.

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2024-05-30T08:15:23+00:00

ASD is highly heritable so you can't blame people if they don't want to seriously date someone who has it.

And I say this as someone with ASD who is currently not planning to have kids.

armentho · 2024-05-30T05:42:51+00:00

you just dont date

sorry to tell you this,but life is not fair,and some people dont get to be happy

SkookumTree · 2024-05-30T02:07:51+00:00

Accept that they will never have a relationship or sex. Simple as.

Glass_Bucket · 2024-05-29T20:45:49+00:00

Doesn’t autism only affect 1% of the population? Why is this sub always acting like half of men are autistic lmao

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-05-29T21:09:27+00:00

Try your best and live with the results just like everyone else?

femmenessa · 2024-05-29T22:15:53+00:00

i’m not the typical woman however. see my latest post lmao.

i might not meet the clinical criteria for diagnosis but i relate to many many many autistic experiences. i don’t really vibe that well w nts.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2024-05-30T06:52:39+00:00

Date within your spectrum and looks levels. Simple as that.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-05-29T20:34:51+00:00

I feel for autistic dudes, I’m not sure how to offer advice, as I suppose it would depend how “on the spectrum” you are. You having a hard time reading social cues doesn’t necessarily mean it’s impossible for you to learn them with practice.

just_a_place · 2024-05-29T20:45:23+00:00

Serious question. With there being so many self reported autistic guys online how come I have never, not once, met one in real life? By that I do not mean men who have the visible signs of the syndrome. I mean all of you well spoken, well functioning and articulate individuals who just casually drop that you're autistic, yet I never meet any of you in real life. What's up with that?

If I saw more of you guys in person maybe I'd have better advice.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-05-30T08:31:46+00:00

Contribute to the development of artificial partners in any way you can.

DelDivision · 2024-05-30T08:45:56+00:00

Honestly Idk, I'm lucky in the sense that I occasionally get approached, but that ends up failing cause my social battery is shit. But I did have a friend who could hookup with ease, but couldn't keep a relationship to save his life. But overall if you can't mask, and or have the looks to make women overlook the divergencey you're going to have a hard time.

Low key I wish escorts weren't so socially unacceptable, cause that fits perfectly for someone like me, who has a strong sex drive but a weak social one.

Intrepid-Rip-2280 · 2024-05-30T14:40:08+00:00

Probably dating Eva AI sexting bot or something like that

enbaelien · 2024-05-30T19:20:31+00:00

Date autistic women at the same functioning level as yourself. Thinking on all my past relationships that's what they've been, and it's always been a drought in-between them.

Ok_Landscape_592 · 2024-05-30T19:40:41+00:00

Nothing you can do except try to max out your other stats and do your best to improve social skills.

Life isn't fair, autistic men just have to accept they were born with a huge disadvantage.

One thing autistic men can and should take comfort in is their failure or lack of success with women is due to their autism, and not anything else 99% of the time like their looks or height.

darktourist92 · 2024-05-30T19:57:25+00:00

Do what everyone should do and accept that life is hard, it isn’t fair, and just keep trying.

HatedByaNation · 2024-05-30T20:40:37+00:00

What society wants us to do: die alone quietly and keep paying taxes

Boxisteph · 2024-05-30T23:39:34+00:00

Private message me. I will help you hun.

valerianandthecity · 2024-05-31T20:15:35+00:00

I have ADHD. I suspect I have autism (based on some test results online) but I haven't been formally diagnosed.

Some solutions:

1) Passport broing.

This is top of my personal list.

Expats (at least in the low violent crime rate countries or areas) can - and in many cases will - be forgiven for not understanding or remembering social cues, because it's not their native culture. Singapore, Japan, Portugal, Finland, are safe places from my research, and also (apart from Portugal) more accepting of "autistic tendencies".

You will likely face shaming from western people (especially western women), if you choose to move abroad to improve your life.

2) Unorthodox approach of improving social skills.

IME and IMO the standard "go out more" advice simply doesn't work for autistic people. IME non ASD's tend to learn how to socialize primarily through osmosis and mirroring, with minimal reflection, but the opposite is true for ASD people. IMO they need explicit pattern recognition, models and formulas to succeed (which is why I think PUA and The Red Pill is likely very popular with ASD men. In contrast the Blue Pill approach is primarily about dating intuitively, and not bringing conscious awareness to patterns in dating.)

Developing models of human interactions and categories of humans.

Using models of human motivation and behavior, categories of personalities to help with social situations. Even if the models aren't completely accurate (IMO no model can ever be completely accurate) I believe they can be useful because they can give you tools to understand human motivation and behavior.

Models of; personality, needs, and values.

e.g. MBTI, HEXACO, Narcissistic Personality Index, Transactional Analysis, Non Violent Communication.

Coomer-Business · 2024-06-01T14:24:15+00:00

Die alone. It's not a nice answer, but a real one

Tabopo · 2024-06-01T17:05:07+00:00

Autistic Man with ~150 lays here, now MGTOW.

First, fitness and nutrition are logical and formulaic and there is no reason you should not be top 1% in your physique
Second, you will need help from NT friends about your clothes and style, you will never understand that stuff, sorry
Third, make sex and sexual pleasure your special interests. Your strike rate will always be low, but you can guarantee a good sex life with repeat customers who give you no stress with having good dick and licky licky game.

Now, as for mate acquisition strategy, you have then two options:
Mask the fuck up: dedicate a full-time job's worth of time to training and learning pickup techniques, going out and meticulously practicing them for several years straight. You can find all the right material if you dig in, really pass on the fluffy stuff and look for detailed technical social things like flirting lines, formulas for banter, nonverbal intimacy fractionation etc.
In addition, there are a number of psychoactives (drugs) that are good charisma performance enhancers, you can experiment with them and with the right cocktail, you can get that fun-partyboy-fuckboy personality that women love and respect the most, at least often enough to sleep with some hot women.

Option 2: Become a sex weirdo. Here you can get away with some strange behavior and so you don't have to mask, but you will need some degree of gravitas to pull this off. Also congruence, like sex magik should be genuinely something you've read way too much about. Adopt Mode One as your go to strategy, it's also congruent because you already dislike small talk. Actually, the wide expanse of human sexuality provides an extensive means by which to experience deep human connection without having to engage in conversation, so I personally found this route quite fulfilling and refreshing.

Finally, while it's worth it to give a solid go since sleeping with beautiful women is a nice life experience to have. However, ultimately you'll find it all more exhausting and irritating than anything else. It takes way too much time and energy to keep all this up, and dealing with nightclubs, dating apps, etc. etc. is just unpleasant and stressful, and eventually you get sick of NT's obsession with mating, start to socially isolate more, and move on to concentrating on other hobbies.

I think a good win-win social solution would be for autists to be like shamans researching women's sexuality, and then teaching NT men, who are, by standard accounts by women to me, broadly very stupid when it comes to knowing how to give women pleasure. Maybe that'll help alleviate some of the dead bedrooms y'all keep complaining about.

ilikecats18851 · 2024-06-05T05:13:11+00:00

The only reason women defend this is that they hold other positions that require them to not admit certain obvious truths, like men having harder standards put on them and women having some privilege in some areas. You are right. The reason you think of it as a weird double bind situation is because it is, and it's a technique women use for debating really well

TheUnsungSaint · 2024-06-10T03:18:32+00:00

Unironically look elsewhere to kill your loneliness. That's your option. Develop a friend group and keep them

KayRay1994 · 2024-05-29T20:42:04+00:00

You can do a lot to learn how to improve your social skills as well as trying to ask people what they directly mean. I find that being around people who don’t mind explaining themselves helps a lot and does a ton to improve your social awareness and confidence (and by extension, dating life)

Also, that’s not really true - how does autism take away from being a man? if anything, autism tends to hurt women more because their primary language is the subtle between the lines communication and they rely a lot more on non verbal stuff (the primary reason why autistic women go on more dates than autistic men is that flat out, many men look at the way a woman looks first, men are willing to settle for all kinds of things if she’s hot to him)

As for the post, don’t take it seriously. That’s just one option and tons of people (many women too) called her out.

Green_Jelly3542 · 2024-05-29T20:24:56+00:00

Honestly the only way is to get more practice. I myself have autism although it's pretty mild. I'm also a late bloomer and didn't have any dating experience until my late 20s/early 30s. I was definitely socially stunted lmao.

Anyways, I decided I needed to change that. I basically started dating and I would go on dates with women I wasn't really that attracted to or into, just to get practice. Obviously I had a lot of catching up to do so I couldn't wait until I found the perfect match. Just high volume, lots of repetitions, and lots of dates. It was definitely painful at first and I had many awkward moments. I probably went on 40 dates in the past year with different women. Some went further but I mostly just rejected them after since I wasn't that interested in most. It was great practice.

Fast forward now, I have worked on my life, have a good job, had a glow up, I'm pretty attractive, tall, and jacked af.

The tables have turned. I now have women approaching me pretty consistently and have lots of women who express interest. I'm now dating a woman who gave me her number and it's going pretty well.

I have gotten a lot better at dating and am fairly proficient. I am now past the point of practicing and looking for a long term partner.

BatemaninAccounting · 2024-05-29T23:30:44+00:00

Date autistic women and normie women that are attracted to autistic men. It's that 'simple.'

Out of the 3 billion women on earth, tens of millions to hundreds of millions are in the top 2 categories. Finding those women is a bit harder, but the internet has made this much easier connecting people across vast distances that have similar needs.

DarayRaven · 2024-05-29T20:14:29+00:00

Yes I'm awkward yes, I can come off weird, yes I don't know much about people, and yes there's times where I've been an asshole and made mistakes but I would fully accept somebody for all their faults too

Sensitive_Pen_8896 · 2024-05-30T02:17:24+00:00

Suicide

John_Oakman · 2024-05-29T22:08:45+00:00

Pursue moral virtues, not because it's result in any worldly metrics (as genuine moral virtues are wholly independent of worldly results), but because it'll not inconvenient (or at least less inconvenient) the perpetually offended.

razorfloss · 2024-05-29T22:21:12+00:00

Hit your head against the wall until you find something that sticks. It sucks balls because you are going to be awkward and weird for a while until you get the trick of it.

philseven12 · 2024-05-29T23:45:31+00:00

you have to do the same things non autistic men have to do. try and improve your appearance as much as possible, if you get above a certain level women will stop using the social awkwardness against you

Admirable-Egg9583 · 2024-05-30T01:48:13+00:00

ASD men are my polarity, because I’m an ADHD woman.. The one thing I noticed is ASD men that are high functioning and intelligent tend to be into polyamory relationships.. whereas ADHD can’t compartmentalize people in separate boxes.. we combine everything into one group..

ASD seems to have a special box for everyone and they can be in box Cindy on Monday and as long as Cindy is on Monday, Jenny can be on Tuesday..

Cindy Monday as long as there’s a mantra and same time same place it’s perfect because Cindy is in the Cindy box and long as Jenny doesn’t cross over into the Cindy box, it’s ok..

Jenny and Cindy are 2 separate people and live in 2 separate worlds that don’t cross over.. once the neurons start connecting between the 2 boxes, then the ASD man goes nutty..

ADHD on the other hand is the polar opposite.. I can’t have separate boxes.. every box overlaps and it becomes too complicated..

HappyCat79 · 2024-05-30T11:14:49+00:00

Find a woman with ADHD or who is also autistic? I think they’re one and the same, honestly… at least in the same family.

It feels like I have had relationships almost exclusively with men on the spectrum. My ex is autistic and we had 5 kids together, 4 of whom are autistic and one with pretty severe ADHD. I have an ADHD diagnosis but I think I’m probably autistic too.

My partner is autistic and has ADHD. My best friend is autistic, and another very close friend of mine is autistic. He and I would be together now if it wasn’t for the fact that I have young children. My boyfriend knows this but he also loves the guy and has no issue with us remaining good friends. He is close with his former lovers and I don’t care. We trust each other fully.

But anyway, find an autistic chick.

jhunter2015 · 2024-05-30T13:42:47+00:00

You’re fucked. I’m normal but I’m ethnic 5’10 average earner, I might as well be autistic

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-05-29T20:26:33+00:00

Men care if a woman is hot, available and fertile whereas women care about wealth, security/commitment and bad genes that could make offspring struggle to survive and thrive. That’s why women care more about autism than men. Women invest more in the birth and raising of a child so they want to make sure that their time and effort isn’t for nothing.

Also autistic men could mean the world to someone by doing good for the community/society in general. There is no need to limit yourself to only doing good and having meaning in a relationship. Why not just do good for your community by proving good quality work in an in-demand job/trade and by donating your time to charity?

mrs_seng · 2024-05-29T20:21:47+00:00

Get a gold digger who agrees to make a child. Pour what's best from you in that child.

Ultramega39 · 2024-05-29T20:48:05+00:00

I know what post you're referring to. Don't listen to anything said in that post, it's just a bunch of fox piss.

FreitasAlan · 2024-05-29T22:25:29+00:00

People are diagnosing too much. These psychological categories are not like regular diseases. In a regular disease, there's a cause you want to diagnose and the symptoms you use to diagnose the cause. In psychological conditions, it's impossible to identify the physical cause, so there are traits to categorize conditions for which we can give a name. Still, the association of these traits is not necessarily a disease just because it has a name. It's not a disease because this would be a hopeless circular definition where the symptom is also the cause. That doesn't make sense. It's also not always something that needs to be treated just because it has a unique name. It's just categorization to describe personality traits so people can describe personality types faster.

Suppose people list psychological traits and try to correlate them with a condition. Think of all the psychological conditions there are. In that case, most people will succeed in finding something that matches and could start referring to themselves as neurodivergent. That doesn't mean everyone has a serious problem that needs intervention. It just means people have these traits that can be categorized, like most traits.

Many people who used to be called "shy" are now considered to have "light autism." It's contradictory, but giving it a name might make people lose hope and feel like they can accept themselves now. If being "shy" or any underlying traits bother you, you can work on that, usually with exposure therapy. But you don't have to handle it differently because it now has a name. You shouldn't conflate traits with "symptoms" and start considering yourself sick and without hope. If these traits don't bother you, you're just as healthy as anyone else. For instance, if you're good at focusing on work, you can use that for good. If the traits bother you, you can also work on improving them. Set an alarm clock and make plans you have to respect. Many, if not most, people are happy as they are, and they don't have to stop being happy just because this set of traits can now be categorized as "light autism."

In many cases, after working on the problems you think you have, these traits will be part of your personality. And most people will end up with reasonable personalities. Extreme cases are rare. You don't have to be desperate to be perfect in terms of looks maxing or psycho maxing just because the internet said you're in this category of people now. Most of the time, work on what you can, and you should be fine. If you're shy but working on that and are good at everything else, you might be perceived as humble, intelligent, and mysterious. People probably won't see you as creepy. If you need help with some social cues, get this help. All this exposure has to happen in real life, though, not on the internet.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-05-29T22:51:12+00:00

Fem boys

Mysterious_Pickle_78 · 2024-05-30T01:28:31+00:00

Autistic men need redpill and game more than normie men. What is redpill? It is basically everything normal men learnt via instincts distilled into word form so the late bloomers can bloom.

You have two choices.

Take advice from whamen. Who will project. Become a female feminist wimp who get's friendzoned. Finally get married to a fat bossy woman who will cheat on you. All because you have no clue how dating works.
Learn game. Spend 1-2 year studying body language and develop a finely honed skills to develop authentic relationships and understand a woman's emotional needs and connect on a deeper level. Understand human social dyanamics on a more "logical-level". Start with Rian Stone, Mystery Method, And tom torero. The journey will be brutal but it will be worth because you get freedom.

You are not put on this earth to set yourself on fire for others. It is not about looking "cool" or "getting their approval". You must put your interests first and work for it.

Purple pill, blue pill are delusions. A handsome, non-autistic guy can work with it.

Aware-Resolve6740 · 2024-05-29T21:10:54+00:00

But i thought personality doesn’t matter?

TallFoundation7635 · 2024-05-30T08:00:27+00:00

You just have to practice enough and talk to enough women till it become second nature to you. You will be able to hide the autistic traits then. Just don't tell women that you are autistic.

Also making a lot of money, getting fit and having confidence will help. Just follow what the red pill teaches, in other words.

Also ignore these women that tell you to not improve and just stick to dating autistic women or ugly women, your job as a man is to be the best version of yourself.

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-05-30T03:20:45+00:00

Date obese women then.

Same market value.

Morbidly obese.

You're welcome.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-05-30T14:27:20+00:00

Idk lol 😂

Cinthia_fs · 2024-05-31T00:23:02+00:00

I am an autistic woman and I have only had a long-term relationship with another autistic person.

Apart from those who are well above average in terms of beauty, the autistic women I know suffer a lot in this area. Men get closer, it's true, but they distance themselves when they notice the strangeness or they stay together to treat each other badly and use psychological sadism.

I think I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than be mistreated by a sadist or risk not feeling sociable and adequate enough.

I don't know. It may be ridiculous since I'm not young and I'm not pretty anymore, but I still dream of finding love. But I don't feel ready.

superlurkage · 2024-05-29T22:09:56+00:00

Date women who are willing to, obviously

Title	Seriously what are autistic men supposed to do?
Author	West-Veterinarian387
Upvotes	142
Comments	455
Date	May 29, 2024 8:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1d3liz5/seriously_what_are_autistic_men_supposed_to_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/seriously-what-are-autistic-men-supposed-to-do.1519957 https://theredarchive.com/post/1519957

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