Why do women dress provocatively if they don't like most men?

Motherofvampires · 2024-11-16T11:07:34+00:00

Looks are status for women. Women who want to show off their status dress to show off their looks to other women.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-11-16T13:08:38+00:00

to attract the men they DO want and to feel sexy

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-11-16T11:18:10+00:00

One of the things is media. Look at what clothes women in the media are wearing. Look at the ads, look at what looks the media is showning as feminine, what the media says how a woman should look. So it is no wonder that women might dress provocativelly because all around they are bieng told that this is how a woman looks and you need to look like that to feel like a woman.

Also, go to a low-mid budget clothing shop and look at what clothes are aviable in the womans section. I personally buy my clothes in the mens/boys section, due to womens clothing being too tight in parts and there barely being pockets (heck, even womens military pants have pockets 15 cm depth, while mens military pants have 30 cm depth pockets), not ot mention the shoes are slimmer at the tip, thus my fingers would be squished (fun fact, an orthopedist once looked at the x-ray of my foot and told be that I have a prerry foot due to my toes not being deformed).

Thatshygurl · 2024-11-16T12:50:45+00:00

Because I enjoy being attractive. To be clear I don’t dress insanely provocative, but I do dress flatteringly. Even if I get looks from men I’m not attracted to or interested in it still feels nice.

I also just generally enjoy the style of clothes I wear. Growing up I was chunky and saw outfits and styles I always longed to wear, but felt I couldn’t due to my size. Now that I’m fit I feel like I’m living out my dream wearing the cute clothes I always wanted to wear.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-11-16T11:57:31+00:00

Women don’t really notice most men. Why would we consider them when deciding what to wear?

SlothMonster9 · 2024-11-16T10:10:52+00:00

I don't dress provocatively, but I like to dress aesthetically pleasing. I have nice legs so I show them sometimes. I have nice shoulders, so an off-shoulder blouse looks nice on me.

I don't do it for the guys, cause i've been happily married since I was 22 and i don't notice other men sexually at all. If I had to really examine myself, I probably do it for status elevation, which makes me feel good about myself. I also dress nice when i'm alone, so idk what's that about, maybe it's the fact that it ingraines an elevated status within me ("i am beautiful all the time, even in my spare time, therefore i am of high value").

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-11-16T16:47:56+00:00

I’ve work hard in the gym to be very fit. look damn good for my age. I dress in a way that makes it easy to see my hard work. Love bear shoulders and arms, cute dresses. Certainly not super provocative but generally tight fitting. Because of course I’m aware people look. I don’t mind people looking and enjoy respectful compliments from all people. It’s validation for the 6+ hours a week I spend lifting. It’s validation for the no makeup I sport. Most importantly, I feel great in what I wear.

theReaders · 2024-11-16T10:20:09+00:00

I don't think about men when i get dressed, no matter how sexy i look. Just because you see cleavage and get aroused doesn't mean someone was trying to arouse you.

Novadina · 2024-11-16T09:59:53+00:00

Do you have an example of what kind of clothing you find “provocative”? I have no idea what kind of clothing that means, exactly. Plenty of people have seemed to think my body is provocative, and I’m not sure there is a way to hide it aside from some very ugly clothing.

Another point that is confusing. That ladies on here complain they don’t like it when men are attracted to them just for their bodies. So again why dress proactively?

I wouldn’t date a man who only likes me for my body.I’m not sure what I wear has to do with that? I still want my man to enjoy the way I look. This is like saying why do men own nice houses if they don’t like gold diggers. I want to look nice and have a man who loves me, I don’t see the contradiction.

2024-11-16T21:15:30+00:00

I dress up because it makes me feel good about myself. Now provocatively is more of a person to person standard but I don’t show cleavage or wear short skirts.

I do wear tight clothes sometimes but I feel good about myself and that’s what I want.

I know many women who will get matching underwear and bra set that’s sexy and expensive because it feels amazing. no one sees it, but it’s a confidence booster.

Secondly male attention is constant. Whether you wear a baggy sweatsuit or a thong guys looks. So if thats the goal, small amounts of clothing isn’t going to add too many extra looks.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-11-16T18:32:54+00:00

I don't leave my house with men's opinions and feelings about my sartorial choices in mind. I dress what I feel like looks cute/appropriate that day. Sometimes that involves showing a bit more skin off, sometimes it's just wearing comfy jeans and a cute top.
I wear the most provocative outfits where there's maybe like one dude, if that.

While I'm sure some women do dress to be attractive to men, most just dress based on what they like or whatever is considered fashionable. If crop tops are in, you'll get a whole lot of people wearing crop tops.

Werevulvi · 2024-11-16T21:24:46+00:00

While I don't have the highest standards, nor dress particularly provocatively, I do often wear just above knee length skirts low heel shoes, and tight tops that show off my curves, plus wear makeup and do my hair, while not yet being ready to re-enter the dating market.

I dress that way then because: 1. I'm practicing how to better put together my outfits for whenever I will re-enter the dating market. 2. It's just my personal style/aesthetic. I want to feel feminine. 3. I want to look presentable and well put together for all those other aspects of socializing, ie professional settings, restaurants, etc, just to give society at large the impression that I take care of my appearance and that I'm a feminine woman. I don't want to be seen as sloppy, un-hygenic, depressed, or like I've let myself go. So like... for the sake of my reputation in general. This is however also why I don't wanna dress too provocatively (by for ex covering up the general area between my knees and collar bones, and avoiding anything see-through) just with enough edge to my style that people will hopefully get the impression that I'm a little bit controversial as a person. 4. It helps me in my pursuit to find new friends. As I don't have many friends as of now and want to expand my social circle, I want to find and connect with people who relate to me, and the easiest way to do that is to dress the way I want to be perceived. Obviously that's just one small part of getting friends, but I feel like it helps, if the way I present myself matches the way I perceive myself, at least to some degree.

mashedturnip · 2024-11-16T14:57:06+00:00

Dear men,

No matter how many times you try and claim otherwise, not wanting to fuck you is not a hostile act. Just wanted to clear that up, AGAIN

I also hope that this doesn’t mean that you actually dislike people that you don’t want to fuck, like ugly/old women, children and (gay) men.

Sincerely,

A woman

Professional-You1235 · 2024-11-16T18:58:27+00:00

Its for the hot guys. When you get all dressed up for a night out, do you do it for attractive people or unattractive people? Would you not bother dressing up simply cause unattractive people exist?

S0yslut · 2024-11-16T11:31:43+00:00

Why do women dress provocatively if they don’t like most men?

It’s biologically ingrained in us to want to attract men.. Even if they don’t like you they like the attention.

You also hear complaints from women constantly about getting unwanted attention from these men...

How would you know these are the same women? I don’t want to believe someone is that lower functioning they’d complain about the attention they wanted.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-11-16T09:39:44+00:00

Surely a bigger question is why is clothes on a female body considered "provocative"?

HappyCat79 · 2024-11-16T11:55:46+00:00

I’m sexy in general so I could be wearing jeans and a tee shirt and have men checking my ass and boobs out. 🤷🏻‍♀️. I have a body and don’t want to wear a potato sack.

MagentaSteam · 2024-11-16T09:40:10+00:00

I don’t think all the ladies on here all live where you live—where the majority of young girls and quite a few middle aged women dress really provocatively, so I think the last question should be asking why women who dress provocatively complain about the objectification.

p_fulga · 2024-11-16T13:14:51+00:00

I used to be pretty overweight. It was something I worked hard on to change, and now that its behind me I like to dress in things that a lot of people typically consider provocative as a reminder to myself of the work I put in and how much happier I am. I don't do it for others. Well. Except my partner, but that's a side benefit. If the outfits made me uncomfortable, I wouldn't be doing it regardless.

Tylikcat · 2024-11-16T20:39:05+00:00

Step back from the original question, and ask what you mean by provocatively?

I've seen so many posts from men saying that if a woman wears yoga pants, clearly she wants sexual attention from men, or at least is deliberately trying to arouse them. Whereas the major reason women actually wear yoga pants is that they're comfortable, they don't restrict your movement, and it's easy to find pairs that fit.

(This discussion isn't helped by there being so many different kinds of yoga pants. I've seen people call leggings yoga pants. But yoga pants are usually not fitted through the lower leg, and frequently not through the thigh either, though they tend to be fairly figure revealing. So I'm never quite sure how much people are talking past each other.)

In some places, not wearing gloves, or showing your face (or hair) is considered provocative. In others, showing your breasts is completely ordinary. And I say this not because there aren't local standards, but to get you thinking about what the standards are, because I frequently hear men opining that all kinds of things are clearly calling for attention that are just regular and very boring clothing to women.

...and then, of course, there are women who dress for attention. Especially girls who are just trying to figure out what it means that men are attracted to them (and are clearly too young for a lot of the guys ogling them). But even then, it's not always specifically male attention, and it's certainly not attention from all men. Sometimes it's because it makes them feel confident to know they look good. Sometimes it's to show off to friends. Sometimes it's for their date. Sometimes it's because they're going out dancing, which is pretty exertive, and clubs are hot!

I mean, I'm generally pretty modest in my clothing. I'm a professor. I almost never wear make up, I have a really impressive collection of 8oz flannel shirts (I live in the PNW). And ye gods, the last thing I'd want to is to look sexy for my students.

But there are a lot of times I'll wear short shirts and lower cut tops. The first one is in the summer! I live in short linen shifts over 9" boxer briefs during hot weather. With good pockets. I wouldn't have survived North Carolina without them (lived there until I moved this summer.) And in nice weather, sometimes I just want to feel the sun and wind on my skin.

If I'm going out dancing, I'll generally wear martial arts slippers (or similar) and again, a brief dress, and a color coordinated bra top and boxer briefs. (Best things ever - I used to color coordinate my undies, because I frequent kick over my head, but boxer briefs are both more modest and more comfortable.) I mean, it's probably a little fancier and more likely to be fitted than one of my sun dresses? I also dress up for some parties, though how revealing it is depends on the party. Occasionally I even wear makeup, though I have to be pretty inspired... and usually then it's basically part of a costume. (I'll wear makeup for goth night, because it's kind of part of the thing.)

Gilmoregirlin · 2024-11-17T00:50:55+00:00

Because they are not dressing up for men! Women think about men a lot less than men think about women.

JadeGrapes · 2024-11-17T04:11:26+00:00

Provocative is in the eye of the beholder... some places it's common to sunbathe topless & other parts of the world women can't wear shorts.
Personal comfort and body type are a weird crossroads. A underweight fashion model might look like a chic, elegant swan when they wear a deep plunge neckline cut down to the bottom of the ribs. I'm chubby with big boobs... so I would look like a stripper. Knee high winter boots & a long coat? High power executive in a cute fall outfit... or stripper afterwork... body type sets the tone.
Women don't exist frozen in space and time, they are out and about, meeting friends, going on a date, running errands, heading home... They may literally already be out on a date when you see them. It's normal to dress up to go out, but YOU personally may not be the main audience.

bluehorserunning · 2024-11-16T17:59:48+00:00

I remember seeing a guy go on a rant, years ago, about how this random model in a photo from a magazine was trying to deceive him, personally, with her smile.

Like, dude. She’s working. It’s not about you. Women are people, and the fact that you think they’re hot if they breathe, and sometimes if they do not, does not mean that they don’t get to live their lives.

No_Teacher_3313 · 2024-11-16T13:11:14+00:00

I’m a woman and I notice if a woman has great fashion sense and a great body. I don’t stare and am not at all attracted but I notice. I’ve had female friends I’m very close to tell me how great my boobs look in a particular top. No problem there. It feels good and gives you more confidence in general to look good and have other people notice you look good. I don’t do it so some random guy will stare or hit on me AT ALL.

DebateTraining2 · 2024-11-16T13:45:14+00:00

I don’t like the feel of clothing

y2kjanelle · 2024-11-16T16:03:23+00:00

Lots of reasons actually. Men for some reason think that women live completely centered around men. Think of us as people! lol we have things we like and prefer to wear and to do. Why is that so hard?

Yes I absolutely like to look good in front of a guy I think is cute. However most men aren’t even into fashion and if ur not dressing for yourself, you quickly learn men don’t really appreciate your stylistic choices that much. Younger women may seek out more validation but i think overall they’re not always trying to look good for men, who are clueless anyways. They just want to look baseline pretty for them and that’s it.
For ourselves! Some of us actually like the way a short skirt looks or if a top makes our boobs more perky. It’s cute! You guys don’t understand because you don’t really have the same thing. Which is sad because it’s awesome to have clothes you really like and that you think just looks great on you. Men don’t find fashion fun like purring outfits together and accessorizing. I went on a date once and he was like “oh you look nice im so glad i accessorized” and it was a black bead bracelet while his whole fit was extremely casual and his sleeves pretty much covered it. Like??? Yea yall don’t get it. And that’s fine but recognize this may be of interest to women.
For other women. There is NOTHING like a compliment from another woman, especially one whose style YOU like too. Some of it is status for sure, but also, when another woman compliments your style, she’s not just saying you’re cute but recognizing the time and energy and thought process of the outfit. How the pieces look together and complement each other. A man hardly will ever notice and give sexual attention out to curvy pieces of wood but a woman?? She’s appreciating you as your own stylist and is complimenting your choice. It feels great!

I love going to the bathroom at bars and talking with other girls it’s fun. We are people too. We like things and have our own style. We like to look good in front of people we want to attract but yes, we totally have our own interests and lives too.

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Main-Tiger8593 · 2024-11-16T09:55:09+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TidyMess24 · 2024-11-16T12:49:56+00:00

There are several things to consider here:

For one, even if it’s cold outside, the place a woman is going to is most likely someplace indoors, where it is much warmer. Many women would much prefer feeling too cold on the trip to their destination than feeling too hot and sweaty while she is at her destination which she is spending much more time at. This is especially true for women who may be prone to mini hot-flashes during specific times of the month, or situations where she intends on being up and moving around like at a dance club.

Secondly, the way women’s clothing is sized, the size goes up in all directions when sizing up with the exception of some pants which include different lengths. So, say a woman has a very large chest, but is shorter, and of a smaller figure, she may often find herself opting for clothing that is a little tighter in the chest than is ideal in order to have a more appropriate fit in the rest of the garment in terms of the waist and overall length. Alternatively, such a woman may also frequently opt for lower-cut necklines which can accommodate for for space in the chest area when the garment is being worn.

This brings be to the third point, of touch sensitivities on the skin. A lot of women have sensitive skin in certain areas, or may get itchy easily. I for one despise the feeling of having a collar or fabric pressed up against my collar bone, so will opt for something lower cut that doesn’t touch that area of the body. Some other women do not like the feeling of looser fabric bunching up or brushing up against the back of their knees, and may opt for tighter fitting pants to avoid this feeling.

Fourthly, and most importantly - women want to look fashionable, as there are many social and even economic benefits to looking well put together and not frumpy that go beyond attracting the male gaze. You just get treated better overall, by everybody. This ties into the second point as well, you don’t want to look frumpy, so you allow for the outfit to look a little more provocative in a part in order to avoid the frumpy look overall.

tia2181 · 2024-11-16T13:20:01+00:00

What does provocatively mean..in the scheme of things?

That they wear the clothing items they see in stores that look good on their body should be the only answer to this. We don't wear clothes to deliberately appeal to a mans view if us, we wear clothing we like. It might seem silly in cold countries but when you dance in a nightclub or go to a bar with friends it often gets too hot..Add on fees and waiting times to store coats I see them only appear now, around November when we drop to 0 Celsius, but also see shoes carried as alternative to outside boots.

Whatever you might think we are dressing for deliberate sexual attraction reasons.. its way more personal that that. I have chronic illness, my clothing reflects different things at different stages. Before I gained weight from a medication and my legs worked equally I liked to show them off, after moving from UK to Sweden I needed clothes for warmth more, shoes for practical reasons when waling became difficult. I never dressed to give an impression to a man. I dress so I feel good as myself and always will!

Hellarouge · 2024-11-16T15:39:49+00:00

I make outfit choices based on how much I like the clothing and the overall aesthetic, not based on how people will perceive me wearing it. If I focused on what other people thought of me that much, I might never get dressed or go anywhere.

Consider that your fetishisation of apparel and bodies is the root cause of your perceptions.

badgersonice · 2024-11-16T18:27:39+00:00

I'm wondering why they do this?

The good men wont notice you if you aren’t noticeable, either, for one thing.

And for another, fashion is expressive and communicative. If you wear punk metal fashion, you are communicating you are into punk culture. If you wear normal fashionable things, you are communicating you are part of the mainstream culture.

… If you wear a modest shapeless sack prarie dress and no makeup, you are very effectively communicating that you are a boring religious fuddy-duddy stick in the mud. If a woman wears what you consider to be “modest” clothing (and I don’t know where you’re drawing the line, but if you think “most” middle aged women are dressing too provocatively every day, then your threshold for modest is really really up-tight and excludes basic shit like business casual or jeans and a tee shirt), then you are communicating to the public that you are way way way more socially conservative than the normal population. The nice normal women you would relate to best aren’t gonna want to be your friend either because they will very reasonably assume you are a judgy religious nut if your clothing is too modest. And the nice normal men you want to date aren’t going to be interested in you either: you’re BORING.

womandatory · 2024-11-17T02:02:19+00:00

Women mainly dress for themselves and other women. We don’t dress to attract male attention, unless it’s in a relationship. For example, I will wear an outfit or item my partner likes when I go out with him to show him that I’m thinking of him, but the rest of the time I dress for me.

SayuriKitsune · 2024-11-17T11:06:14+00:00

because I like to feel bonita, doesnt mean that I want attention, in fact , I dont want any.

throwRA094532 · 2024-11-17T12:47:48+00:00

We mostly dress for other women to compliment us.

When I go out and dress sexy, I do not want men to notice me. I want my girls to tell me how sexy I am because it’s a real confidence boost.

We shower each other with compliments !! Even when other girls in the club or the bar tell me how beautiful I am, I love it! It’s innocent, it’s without any underlying motive.

When men approach me it’s annoying as fuck because I know they just want to get into my pants. I am not interested in that.

themfluencer · 2024-11-17T15:52:40+00:00

To appreciate ourselves and one another. :)

kayceeplusplus · 2024-11-18T01:23:29+00:00

Good question

xxartyboyxx · 2024-11-16T12:49:22+00:00

most women don't dress for men. We like Flowy things that aren't restricting it's comfortable. Some people don't want to be entirely covered and heat up all the time.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-11-16T13:42:32+00:00

Women dress for themselves. What makes them feel good. What’s fashionable. What looks good.

We shouldn’t have to decide between feeling good in our clothes and being harassed in the street.

Clothing is not an invitation.

Right-Butterfly5036 · 2024-11-16T13:23:20+00:00

I don’t dress provocative but I DO judge women based on off how they are dressed and what they are wearing. Nothing feels better than wearing silk while other women are dressed head to toe cheap, looking polyester with their titties out.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2024-11-16T17:41:50+00:00

Women like attention but they like striking down/rejecting men even more. My friend loved attention and then made fun of the guys for not being attractive or something weird about them. She was okay looking and chubby but I understood why she wanted the attention. She was mid af

Title	Why do women dress provocatively if they don't like most men?
Author	CalligrapherSimple39
Upvotes	102
Comments	433
Date	November 16, 2024 9:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gsjmyd/why_do_women_dress_provocatively_if_they_dont/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-dress-provocatively-if-they-dont-like.1535930 https://theredarchive.com/post/1535930

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