Women not being able to get and stay in good-quality relationships is embarrassing

Top-Crab-1020 · 2025-11-04T01:50:22+00:00

Most of these women are just picky or just enjoy being single. Most women can be in a relationship if they wanted to be in one. I don’t think these women you are thinking of actually want to be in a relationship

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2025-11-04T08:35:31+00:00

Problem is attraction. Good men are easy to find. But good and otherwise compatible doesn't guarantee real.raw attraction.

AnonPinkLady · 2025-11-04T05:44:42+00:00

Being single / alone isn’t some kind of failure for anyone of any gender. There are a million completely good reasons not to be in a relationship. There’s nothing shameful about it.

Edit: also I’ll do you one better, being in a relationship with an absolute bum of a man that wastes your time and disrespects you in front of your loved ones is one thousand times more embarrassing and even then I’d sympathize because people can get stuck in awful relationships for years due to circumstance. But knowing that, some women are honestly saving themselves the humiliation of a bad or imbalanced relationship by continually ending connections with incompatible or toxic partners.

maam9243 · 2025-11-04T09:44:43+00:00

I have both male and female relatives that "failed" to get or stay in relationships for a variety of reasons. Some of them were the nicest, most generous people I have ever met. Clearly, not everyone wants to be in whatever OP considers a "good-quality" relationship. There's a lot of subjectivity to what "good quality" is. My parents have a very stable, "good quality" relationship to most of their peers; however, I wouldn't want their relationship because I know all the lies, sacrifices, losses, and downsides behind the scenes to give the appearance of functionality.

Bekiala · 2025-11-04T02:17:01+00:00

I'm confused by why you would be embarrassed by how this person lives their life?

We sure seem to have a plethora of people throughout history who make odd choices or snatch failure from the jaws of victory or some such thing. It happens then and now.

I hope you can spot such women and stay the heck away from them.

Ithinktoodeep55 · 2025-11-04T01:50:56+00:00

there's tons of good men.

theres' not many good men who are also tall, attractive, charming, confident, etc etc etc

that's the issue.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-11-04T19:02:24+00:00

Dating for women can be sort of like the job market when it comes to low-wage jobs… bunch of employers “desperate” for employees, easy to get in, but it quickly becomes clear why nobody wants those jobs. For men, seems more like the job market for higher-paying jobs, a lot of barriers to entry, a lengthy interview process, people want the jobs but they may not be worth the qualifications they’re asking for.

These are of course the dark side of dating for both women and men, it’s not always going to be like that. Plenty of people are in happy relationships. And plenty of single people are happy being single.

mumblebumblegrumble · 2025-11-05T01:11:06+00:00

You would think men with all the advantages like Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp could easily find and keep a good woman in a relationship, yet...

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-11-04T01:57:36+00:00

Yet, when they struggle to find a good relationship with all those advantages, they still can turn around and blame men

Attractive women I’ve met don’t seem to have this problem at all, at least most of the time. I typically assume women complaining on the internet either look a certain way, or they have quirks about them that are huge deal breakers if they have significant struggles.

And then unattractive women I’ve met usually seem pretty fair in who they accept advances from, but they can have difficulties in other ways.

FlamingMetalSystems · 2025-11-04T08:58:43+00:00

Its about looks & height in the end.

The men available for relationships and marriage are numerous but not good looking / hot and tall enough to satisfy their base urges

bluestjuice · 2025-11-04T02:52:16+00:00

Honestly the most baffling part of this idea is the concept that women spend their childhood and youth being told they don’t have to do anything to improve themselves, that they don’t have to contribute anything to society or the people around them, don’t have to adapt and adjust themselves in order to be more appealing or desirable. It’s such a delightful fantasy and utterly opposite to what the experience of being a young woman is like.

Nervous_Use_7235 · 2025-11-04T02:00:23+00:00

I find great peace in being single. Don’t take it so personally sheesh. 🙄

operation-spot · 2025-11-04T02:17:40+00:00

I actually agree here. if were not talking about women who are staying single. if you as a woman cant secure a relationship of any kind.

you failed in a in a field where you had every advantage. even just by being a woman period you have options. thats means you failed to at least be a 3. you failed to be a quater decent.

in a market where men have to crawl miles to get anywhere the same opportunity an average women get,

you failed to walk down the street,

being a incel is bad, but thats worse, its like you failed in the tutorial screen in a game where the damn directions is right there.

women have a no bar and you still failed is super bad,

ta06012022 · 2025-11-04T02:26:43+00:00

Every time a heterosexual women finds a relationship, a heterosexual man does too. In aggregate, it’s no more difficult for a man than a women, setting aside minor differences in gender ratios.

Casual sex is readily available to women, because there is a large population of men who are open to casual sex at any time. But relationships are a 1:1 ratio. A woman can’t find a relationship without a man realizing the same outcome.

anewleaf1234 · 2025-11-04T07:33:58+00:00

The limiting reagent here is good men with confidence who can show them a good time.

p_fulga · 2025-11-04T02:28:21+00:00

I mean, I agree that it's.. sad when people just keep walking into bad relationships or self destruct any good thing they have going in their life, but I wouldn't say this is a "most women" kinda thing. I've never really had this problem, I had a couple bad ones at the start and then it was just a matter of them getting better and better as I moved along and figured out what I wanted, I'm 24 now and well on my way to being engaged. Most of my friends don't really have any problems ending up with fairly worthwhile people.

There are definitely a handful who keep walking back on any good ones, or just have a nasty habit of ending up in shitty relationships but usually you can outright draw out how they got there and usually its something in their childhood that led to it. Bad self esteem, self destructive behaviours, poor impulse control, poorly regulated emotions and bad relationship needs. All things a lot of people with trauma just do not even realise they're struggling with. I've been there, I know what it looks like, but a lot of people just don't have the right people in their life or just aren't ready to grow from that.

candiedgemstone · 2025-11-04T02:08:17+00:00

Most of these women are independent and make their own money and aren’t really interested in finding a man unless he tremendously benefits her life.

When you date men you open yourself up for being cheated on, dealing with porn addiction, dealing with other lustful activities such as following Instagram models and onlyfans creators, him not doing his share of the household duties or child rearing… not to mention if we really want children we can have babies through sperm doners and raise them with friends / family / etc…

For a lot of modern women who no longer need men (because it’s not the 1970s and we can open our own bank accounts now), we have realized that unless a man is truly awesome and makes our life better, it’s better to just be single.

rtfclbhvr · 2025-11-04T02:25:01+00:00

Women don’t exist to please men

tuigger · 2025-11-04T03:10:12+00:00

They can't keep getting away with this.

Yikes, buddy. You're going to need to take deep breaths and read this:

There is nothing wrong with a woman choosing to be single.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-11-04T03:03:42+00:00

It takes two to tango

Destinyciello · 2025-11-04T01:53:31+00:00

Imagine being a decent looking guy who can get with any meh or fat woman he wants. But can never have pretty girls. Because none of the pretty girls are interested.

That is the life of an average woman. They have all the shit options in the world. But finding decent options is very difficult.

On top of that. A lot of Chads are more than happy to pump and dump them. And our sexual liberalization trash has convinced women it's a good idea to get pumped and dumped by Chad. Which totally fucks up their perspective. They are already much pickier innately. But now they've had Chads dick and that makes it even harder to look at the more mediocre options.

So not it's not really that they are failing. They are innately wired to be pickier. They had to be. That is just the role of a female in our species. To determine which traits are worth reproducing. Since the men will stick their dicks largely in anything.

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FightingForCollins · 2025-11-04T11:04:32+00:00

This take is such a good way to show that you have no idea how to build meaningful relationships with people, because if you did, you would've realized by now that most women get a lot of propositions from random men but they don't get a lot of propositions from compatible men aka committment-minded men with similar values and interests. You know, the non-superficial things that actually make a relationship worth it... But you're probably so shallow and unexperienced that you don't understand how much personality matters in a long term relationship with someone.

Finding a compatible person is hard for everyone. Ya'll really need to get over that divisive bullshit take that an entire gender has it easy when it comes to that. Most people struggle to find real, good, loyal friends, let alone someone who is compatible and who is willing to commit to them romantically for life.

If you think that failing at something that is so far outside of your control is embarrassing then you're embarassing.

They have a massive leg up on most men in their bracket, easy access to a wide Rolodex of men, men initiating, have incredible incentive from birth for men to be around them, have little or no need to bring anything to the table, do not need to even prioritize improvements in their personalities, can easily multi date or setup many dates a week, can do anything a man can do but won’t have to, can ask the men to provide them anything they want, no pressure to prove that they could find a relationship and nowadays have no burden of actually improving or helping or providing anything for their partner in any meaningful way.

You really live in fantasy land... a man who would date a woman who brings nothing to the table is probably a man who brings nothing to the table himself who is not worth being in a relationship with. Quality men have standards and most men aren't willing to "provide whatever you want". If you have little to no standards for the women you date, that says less about women's ease in finding relationships and more about you.

YveisGrey · 2025-11-04T13:41:17+00:00

It’s embarrassing for men because it’s not a choice they were simply rejected

It’s not embarrassing for women because they are doing the rejecting

At least that’s what the RP says

Personally I think it’s about how the individual acts if you’re always complaining about being single and throwing yourself a pity party over it then you’ll come off as desperate. And that’s embarrassing for a man or a woman. If you just live your life and are not seemingly worried about it most people won’t care at all why would you be embarrassed?

Werevulvi · 2025-11-04T15:26:03+00:00

Eh, I had a lot of mental health issues in my teens and 20's, plus I wasn't particularly attractive. The few men who wanted to date me quickly got tired of what a mess I was. I don't blame men though. I blame myself for not having had my shit together. But if there's anyone else I'd blame, it would be my parents for not teaching me basic life skills. Eventually I started learning those things though, and getting my shit together.

Thing is it's not always easy for women to date, just because it's generally easier for us than it is for men. If you have mental health issues, and/or an unfortunate face, dating isn't gonna be easy just because you're female. I'd say dating for me really has not been any easier than it seems to be for the average man. So it really depends on the woman, doesn't it?

inciter7 · 2025-11-05T05:25:04+00:00

Not really, there are plenty of men who are good at hiding how nasty they are until further into the relationship. Women too

wtknight · 2025-11-04T01:59:55+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FitnessBeth · 2025-11-04T02:10:17+00:00

I've always said I only have 7 strict relationship standards:

No heavy alcohol use, smoking or drug use
Not massively underweight or obese
Slept with less than 5 people and no porn use
Kind and gentle (no bad temper)
No personality disorders, ADHD, autism or serious mental illness
No manosphere beliefs
Basic interest in health, fitness and healthy living (e.g diet, exercise, sleep, etc)

Pretty much all men fail at the first hurdle.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-11-04T02:44:07+00:00

Nothing like my experience. Have you ever met a woman?

Ok_Use7 · 2025-11-04T01:59:17+00:00

Not really. Dating isn't a zero sum game like that.

You think they're on easy mode because men are supposedly on hard mode when really, shit is tough for everybody.

Yet you’re still unable to hold a good job for any significant amount of time, constantly getting fired or not meeting the expectations of your employers. Then, given the mercy of being able to blame the companies for them not being good enough for you. It’s insane.

You're not even talking to anyone here.

Far_Secret_2710 · 2025-11-04T02:27:42+00:00

Most will get old, hit the wall, and live in bitter denial that their own choices had anything to do with it. By 30-50, men their age (few, not most) will finally become desirable after building from the rock bottom of countless invisible consequences.

And when they do, they won’t want girls their age, because when you can finally exercise control over outcomes, you tend to eliminate noise.

Just don’t expect girls to own up to their hubris, even when everyone knows life has passed them by. Like the scorpion, it’s simply their nature.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-11-04T03:55:09+00:00

Remember the saying: ~~shitty~~ single women keep other women single.

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NotSabrinaCarpenter · 2025-11-04T13:24:49+00:00

Would you still work if you had a lof of money, with all your bills paid and all the jobs slots available were stuff way bellow your level of skill or in a different field? (say, let's imagine you get a medical degree and all the jobs available are either for a job in menial underpaid labor or in accounting, something you'd have no experience or interest in).

Usually in this case, you pick either a hobby or charity lol, but not a real job.

For women, I'd say the situation would be similar. Generations ago, they were mandated to date and marry, if they wanted anything out in life. You want to get out of town? Ask your husband. You want to work? Ehhhh. You want money for groceries? Open a bank account? And so on so on. This lead to a bunch of subpar men getting wives, no matter how badly they were treated. Whether they were super young, cheated on, even taking beatings. Because their existence was conditioned to the task of being a wife and secondary to taking care of someone.

Then there came the transition generations, in which women still took the role of a wife, however, with more freedom, being able to work, contribute and make their own money, which gave them choices. Romantically wise, we have been brainwashed from childhood to dream and aspire of marriage, building a family, so on and so on. But what we've learned from these transitional generations, is that working while taking the workload inside a home, while also performing emotional labor for a partner and respective children, is too tiring. It literally decreases a woman's life-spam to be married in such conditions. And thus came the modern woman.

Now she still works, while learning to prioritize herself as an individual. Though inclined to give dating a chance, what many have been learning is that it feels more rewarding to upkeep your energy to maintain a good career, spend money, trips, and have a good support system that relies on different types of relationships -- for instance, the web of female friends. And so many have been centering that. It is quite the interesting phenomena.

Getting back to the job analogy: it's like your grandma worked as a slave, your mom was a factory worker and the daughters are heirs to a conglomerate business with multiple degrees. It makes no sense to be going to job interviews as a factory worker still, when you own the damn thing.

wtknight · 2025-11-04T14:17:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

wtknight · 2025-11-04T14:39:18+00:00

I wouldn’t say that it’s embarrassing, as women have very high standards that most men cannot live up to. It’s not their fault that they have these standards, either. It’s just biology, and one shouldn’t be embarrassed about biological things that are out of one’s control.

Front_Statistician38 · 2025-11-04T15:56:10+00:00

90% of women aren't single because they can't find someone they are single by choice. 90% of women are single not by choice and call it mgtow to cope

Gilmoregirlin · 2025-11-04T16:07:33+00:00

Embarrassing for whom?

Bluest_Skies · 2025-11-05T13:25:36+00:00

You start out with "women not being able to stay in relationships is embarrassing" and end with "They can't keep getting away with this." With what? Your whole premise is, the women are failing.

badgersonice · 2025-11-05T17:53:13+00:00

That’s a woman’s dating life.

Yeah, definitely not my dating life. I was ignored and unwanted. Funny, it’s almost like you only ever consider the most attractive women, and completely dismiss anyone else as “bad”.

Thanks for the reminder that not being slammed by male attention means I should never have been born!

shadowrangerfs · 2025-11-06T11:24:08+00:00

It's not " good-quality relationship". It's " good-quality relationship WITH THE MEN THAT I WANT".

TrumpFucksKidz · 2025-11-04T04:02:30+00:00

If a woman wants a relationship and she cannot get in, and stay in, a good one then it's entirely her fault.

It isn't embarrassing. It's pathetic.

ThatBitchA · 2025-11-04T02:08:40+00:00

As a woman who dates/dated men, men definitely have it easier.

They don't have to plan dates around their period. They don't have do deal with creepy men staring at them anywhere and everywhere when they leave the house. They don't have to deal with constantly being told to smile or be grateful.

Let's see.... they are taken seriously, they are given space on a sidewalk, and they aren't mocked for driving/being funny/being smart.

From a woman's POV, dating as a man is easy. The fact that some men are struggling to get dates is embarrassing.

Title	Women not being able to get and stay in good-quality relationships is embarrassing
Author	mcmlxiv1
Upvotes	71
Comments	472
Date	November 4, 2025 1:41 AM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1onupsd/women_not_being_able_to_get_and_stay_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-not-being-able-to-get-and-stay-in-good.1565764 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565764

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