The courting process never ends for men.

esdebah · 2026-03-22T09:17:56+00:00

This is ideally reciprocal. Even in the tradiest of trad relationships, ladies cook and sew and dote, a continuation of the courting process.

Gifts and romantic gestures between lovers is just an ongoing thing for most. Hopefully, you can see instances of her doing thoughtful things for you, too. If she's just expecting everything to be one way, maybe she's not for you. A hallmark of a loveless relationship is that these things stop or become one-sided.

Obviously, life and kids and stress get in the way. Slumps in romance happen. And gender dynamics play a big part in how this is expressed and experienced. But the actual effort part isn't gender-specific. And it shouldn't feel solely transactional.

Dying_God · 2026-03-22T10:03:59+00:00

Well look it is rather simple. In the beginning of my current relationship I left cute notes, prepared a spontaneous picnic, bought small-medium gifts, cooked elaborate dishes, took him out for dinner or other dates likes gigs, museums etc, made elaborate plans for valentine's day and his birthday, but over time I noticed that he just did not really care and did not return it in kind, so I just mostly stopped. What I have instead focussed on since then is just being available to him emotionally, making sure to hold his hand wherever we go, cuddle plenty and be a place of rest at the end of the day which is more than enough for him. Not to say that I did not do all of these things before, but the elaborate stuff is most definitely not needed or even particularly wanted. That was an eye opener as it had always registered as a way to express love to me and how I've always actively done so as well. My main point being, there seems to be a genuine mismatch going on between men and women in this regard, at least on average.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-03-22T15:15:04+00:00

That's exactly why red pill tells you not to simp and this is the one thing red pill gets right. Remember, even a broken clock shows the correct time once every 12 hours 🤣

If you go out of your way to impress your prospect partner, they fall in love with the person who does all that stuff - and it just so happens that person doesn't actually exist. It's deceit at its finest. Don't bend over backwards to impress people. It doesn't mean don't spoil and pamper your partner or don't try to be your best self - the former comes naturally when you love someone, the latter should be your goal even if you're on your own on an uninhabited island in the middle of the ocean. But if you keep doing stuff that you wouldn't normally do/do a lot more than you would normally do in the beginning of the relationship, people are going to be disappointed when you stop doing them.

This goes both ways obviously. If she always shows up in impeccable makeup that took an hour to apply, dressed to kill and wearing high heels, cooks elaborate meals and speaks in a soft angelic voice, he'll sure be rather disappointed to find out she almost never actually looks like that, her favorite footwear is old trainers, her weekday dinner of choice is frozen pizza and she swears like an old pirate.

fucksiclepizza · 2026-03-22T09:17:20+00:00

If you get to a point in a relationship where doing nice things for your partner is too much for you then the relationship has run its course.

mrcs84usn · 2026-03-22T09:00:16+00:00

You do have to show some give-a-fuck about the relationship, yes.

Are you just expecting to work, stay home, have deep conversations, and fuck? Women want to have experiences and do stuff. Both men and women want their partner to do things that say “you’re special to me” or at least “you’re more than just a friend/roommate.”

As a man, I hope you’re holding these women to some kind of standard of nurturing the relationship.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-03-22T13:37:18+00:00

See, this is the difference between dudes who will only “put in work” to get something, vs dudes who do things, even things for others, because that is who they are and the things they do are a reflection of it.

What you call “courting” others just call showing the women you care about them that you care about them and how you care about them.

Just as you would do things for your mom and family because you care about them and show it with both words and actions.

Just as you show friends how much they mean to you with words and actions. And don’t ever stop because you are always friends.

And yes each one is different in a different way as they are different relationships. So why would your romantic relationship not be different but still an extension of showing people you care through words and actions?

Every day it seems the truth of this meme becomes more and more relevant on PPD

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ComplexAttitude4Lyfe · 2026-03-22T11:24:04+00:00

Love is not just a feeling. Love takes maintenance, and if you just expect sex to keep the feelings alive-

ESPECIALLY when you have fights, hurt feelings, illness, or other problems-

That relationship WILL fail. You all complain we don't love you when we don't sex you up, like you said.

Same principle.

(Sex =/= love.)

AngeAware · 2026-03-22T10:13:55+00:00

OP I'm curious as to what you think "planning a date" entails and what dates look like for a typical couple.

For example my SO and I have very similar tastes in food and attractions. We love to try new places. Some of it we find out about from social media, others we hear about from friends and family.

Basically for us and most couples I know dates aren't something one person unilaterally "plans" indefinitely. They fall into place based on shared interests and passions. When you have neither of those yes I can imagine planning dates would be a chore. But then why are you dating this person?

Bikerbats · 2026-03-22T15:24:13+00:00

Yeah, I'm going to say this one isn't true at all, especially the part about the guy being the only one planning dates. Once you get to the relationship phase, you really don't have to worry about that anymore. I know a lot of couples, and in almost every single one, the wife or female partner is 100% in charge of said couple's social life.

BrightPapaya1349 · 2026-03-22T09:05:23+00:00

I personally love to spoil my boyfriend too and bought him flowers, made him a personalized card and I'm actually the one who plans most dates as well. Get yourself a woman who reciprocates and it'll feel less like a chore maybe? Or just a woman who doesn't care about that? I assure you they exist, a lot of my friends are like this. No gifts, no Valentine's day, etc.

DenverKim · 2026-03-22T11:03:54+00:00

If you think it’s “exhausting” to simply go on dates with your partner, then you are with the wrong person. It shouldn’t feel like it a chore, dude.

You know there is no requirement in life to have a girlfriend or a wife, right? If you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. You can just choose to be single.

No-Hunt-6123 · 2026-03-22T08:59:15+00:00

There are women who enjoy those romantic things, and there are women who don’t want or don’t expect them. The solution here is to stop going for the former, whilst expecting her to behave like the latter.

saintdaffy · 2026-03-22T13:04:58+00:00

this narrative that the vast majority of women are a physical & mental drain is just based on your own experience and what you consume online. just because no woman has ever reciprocated with you doesn’t mean it’s the average experience. it’s certainly the kinds of women you chase because i know a crapton of women that desire having a more submissive man that they take care of and spoil and lead. i also know plenty of women who dread the idea of depending on another person for anything, and plenty that want to be the more submissive one. if you desire an egalitarian or a sort of reversed relationship dynamic then there are women like that out there, you’re just overlooking them for more submissive women then complaining that women are soul-suckers that expect a performance that never ends. also, one partner continuously courting their partner isn’t draining to them because they actually like their partner, your scenarios sound like they’re spent with a woman the shadow government is threatening you to date. like i’m sorry but this post reads like a 12 year old who doesn’t yet understand the concept of having good things requiring maintenance.

Wooden_Credit4577 · 2026-03-22T15:07:19+00:00

Don't worry. Once you have kids you won't go on dates for years. But really, just pick a woman who actually likes taking charge. One of my exes always planned dates. Not that you should completely stop planning either though

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-03-22T09:08:43+00:00

Why do you not like going on dates? It's supposed to be an enjoyable activity for both people, a break from work and household chores.

socraticsnail · 2026-03-22T09:52:40+00:00

Yes, lifelong relationships require lifelong maintenance. I struggled with this idea and thought being alone would be preferable until my prefrontal cortex came in. Then I realized that resourcefulness, maintenance, and repair are a way of life.

It’s annoying when I have to tune up my bike, but if I don’t, I won’t have a bike anymore. If I patch my socks they’ll wear longer. If I snuggle my pookie and whisper sweet nothings daily, the relationship will probably be longer lasting and higher quality.

TheRedPillRipper · 2026-03-22T11:14:13+00:00

if a guy falls off in habits

Life, not just relationships takes work. A habit will only ‘fall off’ if it is not ingrained. For instance one’s eating habits. Work habits. Training habits. I wake up almost automatically at 5am, and am straight into my home gym for a workout daily. A habit for roughly 15 years. Objectively, healthy relationships are subject to the same process. For instance Trust. Communication. Values, expectations and goals. Traditions. Daily routines and rituals that reaffirm love.

This is not just ‘courting’ but importantly builds rapport. Builds an affinity, closeness and intimacy that only serves to strengthen a relationship. Which should only end when the relationship does.

It is that simple.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-03-22T14:48:29+00:00

I always thought that in a healthy relationship both parties should continue dating their partners. Doing that cutesy shit that makes the other smile. “Foreplay should start when sex ends.”

You have to know what kind of stuff resonates with your partner. The “love language” bullshit. Which can be a helpful guide but not an end all be all. Talk with your partner ask them questions about what makes them personally feel validated, wanted, appreciated, desired. Also pay attention to what they do. It should be both parties putting effort in. Love is a chemical cocktail. It’s also a choice.

Some people love grand gestures. Some people love gifts. Some people love spending quality time together. Some people need words of appreciation. Some people need to know you think of them when they aren’t there. I want to do things with and for my partner. I like making my partner smile. Find out what makes your partner smile.

It should go both ways. If you don’t feel the other person puts in effort towards you and you’ve talked about it. Then maybe you aren’t compatible. Maybe the ways they see and show love isn’t something that resonates with you and them. Could be they are just not good in any relationship maybe they aren’t good in a relationship with you.

Sometimes relationships can feel one sided when you don’t or can’t see the way the other person is showing their effort or appreciation.

I didn’t really let my ex pay for things. I thought that was a weird thing for him to do. I had my money, he had his. Sometimes I made more money than him. I liked to split things or go back and forth. I don’t realize that spending money on his partner was something that he liked to do. It gave him a sense of purpose. A feeling of provider. Gifts, dates, whatever. That was something that he had inside of him. His next girlfriend likes being “taken care of.” They worked better as a couple that way.

Flightlessbirbz · 2026-03-22T15:00:35+00:00

So I’m seeing two possibilities here. One is that you are with a very high-maintenance woman, and the other is that you don’t really like your partner so spending quality time feels like a chore.

Because relationships take maintenance, but it really shouldn’t be this stressful. When you’re in a relationship, usually you’re planning dates together, you already have a good idea of each other’s likes and dislikes, usually some go-to dates that fit your lifestyle, budget, and preferences. There isn’t going to be the guesswork involved like there can be in the early dating stages. The goal is to enjoy each other’s company rather than to impress.

Usually when women complain about their partners no longer making an effort, they’re not talking about him failing to plan elaborate dates all on his own. They’re talking about him avoiding spending any quality time together, so he basically becomes just a crummy roommate who doesn’t do his share of the chores and expects sex.

morepwer · 2026-03-22T15:04:31+00:00

If you have to do all of that, then she probably isnt that into you. I've seen good looking male friends and relatives get women with ease because those women actually want them. I've seen it many times. Even I've had my moments. No flowers, no dates, etc.

Guys should be required by law to see how women are with the men that they actually want. A lot of these debates and discussions would probably end then.

EDIT: bro, I know a girl who fucked a guy in a motel after he took to her to white castle. Please, man, we gotta open our eyes lmfao.

My guy, women are ready and wanting to fuck.

SpicyTigerPrawn · 2026-03-22T16:40:49+00:00

There is no "happy guy, happy life" phrase because a man's happiness starts out as secondary and moves further on down the line the longer they stay together. One of the more eye opening threads was posted by a man who said he happily told his GF he'd do anything to save her in an emergency and she responded by saying she'd save her dog over him. He was concerned that this meant she was trying to tell him she was no longer into him but the responses were hundreds of women saying she was right to put his feelings below that of a dog who could not understand her words and that he was crazy for thinking hetero romantic love could ever compete with pets and besties. Obviously it's up to each person what they do in an actual emergency but I found it interesting that none of these women thought that she could put a man first even in a purely hypothetical event with no risk to life or limb.

OffTheRedSand · 2026-03-22T09:11:15+00:00

most men who spoil their gf or do nice things to them do these things because they love them, not because they're expected to like it's a job.

i'll also say women do romantic gestures too. most women i know who are young and in relationship buy their fiance/husband/boyfriend gifts for his birthday. they plan outings and dates and make plans for vacations. i'm sure with some women it's one sided but i don't think it's all, not even majority.

people who love each other also love doing things to one another that shows the love.

pie-mart · 2026-03-22T14:09:20+00:00

I mean, its not like there aren't expectations put onto women? We constantly have to maintain our appearance. Keep you satisfied sexually even when we don't want to. We also tend to be the ones to bring up any if the problems in the relationship and being the ones to bring up how each other feels

Because, guys do have a tendency to stay for the sex, even if the relationship part is over. Ie, he may no longer feel love, but stick with things cuz of sex.

So, yeah, there does need to be certain things a man does to maintain "i still love you and im not just here for the sex"

Just as much as the woman has to express "i still desire you sexually and find you physically attractive"

Both parties have to keep proving that with some level of consistency

Also, don't do things you can't sustain long term

As a woman, a lot of guys go way too hard in the beginning doing stuff i never asked for. And that i would have been happy without

Its like, if you promise me a dozen roses. Then show up and give me none. I will be disappointed

But if you never promise me flowers and show up with one rose, I'll be over the moon

Its better to do small romantic things occasionally and somewhat consistently

Rather than doing a lot in the beginning then not being able to keep that same pace

Like if a woman really liked you and wanted to keep you interested. She may try and have sex a lot more than what she is normally capable of

Then stop cuz she is burnt out. Then get to a rhythm she can maintain. You feel like thats unfair because you thought she was promising you, with her initial frequency, a higher long term frequency

Then she gets mad you're mad at the sex that's happening less often

Courting should mean "this is what you will get when you're my girlfriend"

Its a sneak preview of what is to come. Hence why you don't do what you can't do long term.

Or else she will be upset. Because the whole point of the courting process is showing us what you'll do for us as a boyfriend

And when you stop, its annoying. Cuz its like "so, you did all that to get me when I was a stranger to you, and now that I am actually you're girlfriend, you stop"

Just don't do shit you can't maintain

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-03-22T16:24:24+00:00

Only if you think “not giving a shit” is the normal state of things

rtfclbhvr · 2026-03-22T19:25:48+00:00

This is usually reciprocal in any healthy relationship, and what you’re referring to as courting is “effort” and it’s what keeps a relationship alive.

Appropriate_Speech33 · 2026-03-22T10:50:36+00:00

That’s not courting - it’s calls being in a relationship.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-03-22T09:01:54+00:00

And it shouldn't.

Women in general don't want a man to perform a "dance" and when they approved he can relax. Women want to be with someone who likes them. And it shows in buying small things for her (or big things, depends on a budget i guess), dates, quality times, physical touch outside of sex, words, compliments etc. Women just want to feel liked. The whole mindset that you need to court by doing something that you don't want to repeat ever is just wrong.

I'm already expect people say "but women..." and i think women should also show that they like their man. And if your women doesn't then why are you with her?

_mainlander · 2026-03-22T13:32:56+00:00

> And this maybe off topic but I hate when women say a relationship isn’t about sex but then expect a guy to keep courting her taking her on dates to keep her interested.

Just date different women who think different bro. it's that simple.

When I first met one of my exes, she took my hand, kiss me right away. Then took me to Japanese restaurant to treat me to a meal which she paid for. Another day she took me clothes shopping and bought me a nice jacket. Initiated sex twice a day every day, literally waking me up for it in the morning, just couldn't wait. Staying over night at her place, she'd cook some meals for me next day.

This is like first two weeks. I didn't spend any money on her really. Apart from fuel to take her places here and there.

I didn't ask her to do any of those things! She just wanted to. Nor she ask anything of me in return for above, implied or otherwise.

She's just nice giving person. She takes care of her friends too.

Point is. it's a big world out there. keep looking till you find what you like.

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Organicana · 2026-03-22T19:06:57+00:00

It's actually quite simple ....... you give what you get.
The disconnect leading to stalemates can oftentimes be ..... Who "gives" first and who gets to define what that even means. (Shocker of a hint here: it means different things for men and women because..... gasp . .. we are not the same!)

However, we do live in a society with ingrained ideals and realities that are anything but "equal" ...... Women largely are born with value, and men largely must create value (yes, I realize exceptions exist, but in my day a common phrase was "the exception proves the rule" .... today, many unwisely seem to feel the exception IS the rule ....by the very definition of "exception" its absolutely not)

Such idealisms often can result in the female perception that just showing up, showing interest and maintaining beauty is their "gift" and expect continuous proof from men of the "value" they bring to the table. This is a very lopsided approach towards achieving ones desires for a long term relationship of meaning or value and one that simply becomes doomed to eventually collapse under the enormous weight of eternal expectations.

It's not easy to find a mate that honors anothers efforts as much as they expect or demand to be honored ....... But nothing worthwhile is ever easy, yet when achieved, is oftentimes viewed as the greatest achievements we can ever truly accomplish ..... evidenced by the results.

Expect nothing you are not willing to match in effort or results, and this whole issue vanishes. Just be cognitive of the fact that perception is dangerously often prioritized over reality and this is a human nature default and not entirely the domain of one sex

welphellothere01 · 2026-03-22T23:43:46+00:00

Women are not romantic.

They love romance, they love to receive it but do not ever give it.

Neptune-Jnr · 2026-03-22T12:55:53+00:00

It’s no fair that I have to keep working out to stay in shape. I should be able to stay in shape for life without exercising 😭

It’s not fair that I have to keep mowing the lawn every week ! I already mowed it once 😭

It’s not fair that I have to keep doing laundry, why doesn’t it just stay clean forever 😭

It’s not fair that I have to keep going to work! I already interviewed and got hired 😭

Why should I have to keep walking the dog, I walked it when I first got it😭

Seriously…

mikiencolor · 2026-03-22T09:46:55+00:00

What do you mean by 'courting'? If you like someone you do random nice things. They're always on your mind. It's natural to show it. If anything it's a relief. You need an outlet for pent up affection.

GGMcThroway · 2026-03-22T13:47:08+00:00

I feel like women dont understand that courting them can be mentally draining sometimes especially if you’re the only one planning dates.

You don't think it's mentally draining when women have to be the prefrontal cortex of the relationship and remember everything that needs to be done (as well as doing the majority of the housework)?

Like, women should be planning dates too; but chances are she's using way more mental energy keeping you both afloat (especially if you're doing so little that you consider planning something fun for the both of you to be mentally draining).

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-03-22T14:02:35+00:00

Jesus how many dates is your significant other expecting you to take her on that you would get so exhausted from it?

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-22T16:40:55+00:00

Why should courting end?

We've been together nearly a decade, we're still courting each other.

Why would we stop? If we stop, our relationship becomes stale, boring, not enjoyable, we become roommates and passing ships.

Honestly, y'all seem to not understand the point of a relationship. It's really sad, for y'all.

CelicnisGhost · 2026-03-22T09:22:09+00:00

The courting process never ends for men, no. But your way of thinking about it matters.

Don't think of it like a slot machine you are supposed to fill up and forget about. That's the negative way of thinking about it.

Think of it like wanting to do something good for your partner because you love them, and you want to have fun with them.

That said...

if a guy falls off in habits of buying her flowers

The literal only time I buy my girl flowers is on March 8th. You're not supposed to buy her.

Taking her out on a date is not buying her though. Again, you're supposed to want to enjoy spending time with your partner. They needn't be extravagant dates, but go out together occasionally, don't be live-in fuck-buddies.

WanabeInflatable · 2026-03-22T08:48:10+00:00

Solution is to not spoil them during the beginning phase. Cut off early women that are mentally and financially draining, don't overinvest - it only leads to her entitlement, imbalanced situation "he needs me more, that I need him"

Adam_Faith_No_More · 2026-03-22T15:58:34+00:00

This is a perfect example of what a double-whammy blue pill conditioning is for men; Not only are you exhausting yourself by made up romantic expectations, but what you get in return is a lack of desire, and constantly changing goal posts. No wonder you're running yourself into the ground with this nonsense.

Meanwhile, over on the red pill side of things (which is how things actually work), you can focus on all the things you want to do for yourself, and the autonomous person you want to be, and get rewarded for it with fantastic sex, and continued loyalty and interest. Because maintaining attraction isn't about chasing your girlfriend around, putting her on a pedestal, and acting like it's your responsibility to keep her happy - like a servant.

Key concept for you to read up on, and to practice: "Be your own mental point of origin".

Turbulent-Serve5777 · 2026-03-22T12:32:55+00:00

I feel like women dont understand that courting them can be mentally draining

They definitely do not. They are so extremely ignorant. They think its all "fun" for men.

If you date a woman lower value than yourself, then there is less pressure to court. But that is not a satisfying outcome for most men who AT LEAST want their equal

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secret_mysteries86 · 2026-03-22T13:16:48+00:00

This is something that I dont agree as I feel that it goes both ways. Im not talkong anout the men that dont do a thing for their partners those men never change and why should a woman be the one doing all the nice gestures of love. I do see being in a female dominated family too. That they all want flowers , date nights planned , getaways planned ect and times i have asked them when they complain what little gestures do you plan or do and they dont it's hus job to do that. When I tell them that men appreciate those things too and deserve to have those things back. They just make a face or tell me im wrong. Its selfish. Me anf my hubby both do these things and both enjoy doing those things. If it was once sided im sure he would feel unloved and unappreciated and that i dont care.

El0vution · 2026-03-22T15:18:56+00:00

So what, going to the gym is a pain, but something we have to continuously do. Just like courting a woman

moonchildcountrygirl · 2026-03-22T22:55:32+00:00

It can always end, men never “have to” do any courting if they don’t feel like it. But spark requires fanning the flames, so losing romance and intimacy is the consequence. If you’re in love and devoted it’s not a chore, it’s reciprocal and special

ResentCourtship2099 · 2026-03-22T23:53:31+00:00

Yeah what else is new

Lyedetector · 2026-03-23T03:00:29+00:00

I think once in a relationship, women should do more planning of dates. But honestly, it sounds more that you think once in a relationship you don't have to make an effort.

Aimeereddit123 · 2026-03-23T03:12:49+00:00

I was ready to disagree with you, and then I read how she said, ‘we haven’t gone on a date in this many DAYS’. That, to me, is a bit much. All I’ve ever begged for is a date once a month, I’d settle for once every 2 months, I’d make do with once every 3 months, and I get in actuality about one a YEAR. Days??? If she’s counting by days, she’s a lucky woman.

Superb-Foundations · 2026-03-23T08:21:47+00:00

Because if he wanted to he would. 17 years with the same man and he still buys me flowers.... its literally the bare minimum lol

Tess27795 · 2026-03-23T14:14:18+00:00

Yes, it ends. You just haven't lived long enough with the same woman. It's just very occasionally after a few years.

DGenerationMC · 2026-03-23T19:46:07+00:00

Love is not a battlefield.

It's a minefield.

Even if you do make it to the other side, there's a chance you won't still have all your limbs and/or faculties intact. You can (and probably will) lose a piece of yourself.

theringsofthedragon · 2026-03-24T06:09:19+00:00

Remember that this is just how PART of the population lives. For how many men in woman-dominant relationships that are jumping through hoops simping taking them on dates trying to keep them happy, there are just as many men and women living the exact mirror of this where the woman never gets taken on a single date ever and she's the one jumping through hoops trying to placate a finnicky man.

It's just annoying when you assume everyone lives the same life as you. This depends strongly on your own personality and environment you grow up in. You personally are a "loser" which makes you be the slave of every woman you date, and you're also used to having dominant sisters who boss you and other men around, so it's all you know. But remember, there are plenty of women who are the losers in their relationships, plenty of women who date broke men with unwashed butt cracks who never take them out on dates.

It's all about what you think you deserve, and plenty of women have low self-esteem and think they don't deserve anything nice. You just happen to know bossy women with high self-esteem and you are mistaken to think everyone's like that.

Neverending_Danding · 2026-03-24T11:08:17+00:00

Though i agree with the core, there is a one, very simple solution to this - don;t date such people. My las two girlfriends were like this. Being with them was draining and stressful (and the fact that people around kept telling me it's how should be, it's normal, was not helping at all).

But i've had enough of it and now would never enter such a relationship. Of course it SEVERLY limits my already very little romantic prospects, at least i have one less thing to stress about.

Ideally relationships should be reciprocal (meaning not always 50-50, but never 100-0 for a prolonged time, without a valid reason), but we are not living in a ideal world.

Repulsive_Hunt_9897 · 2026-03-27T20:02:29+00:00

I don't think that the courting process should ever end, personally. It's part of what makes relationships enjoyable.

What bothers me is that - life stuff starts to creep in. The woman wants kids. The woman wants a house with a mortgage. The woman wants active busy friend circle and social circle. The woman wants... etc etc.

Providing and maintaining all those things costs time. The woman who wants lots of things in life should not also then expect her man, who she is putting pressure on to provide All The Things, to still court as aggressively or frequently as he did during the dating phase.

IF the woman fully appreciates and values the work the man does to raise her quality of life along these separate axes of existence, that she did in fact ask him to do, then all is well. Because the relationship will remain solid even with less romance.

However some women want to have their cake and eat it too, and have been watching too much social media about women who Have It All and have an epic amazing (curated lie of a) life which is so much better than hers even though she did everything right. The type of woman who just sucks at introspection and the skill of being fair towards other humans... you know the type.

This type of woman will start to become unhappy, and unfulfilled, and start looking for reasons, and of course going to blame the man because that's just how it works with a person like her, and then she runs off with her physical trainer to restart the cycle.

cheezitloverr420 · 2026-03-22T13:11:59+00:00

i can’t speak for other women but i don’t expect my bf to buy me gifts or flowers unless it’s a special occasion/holiday. not all women enjoy or expect grand gestures. i also don’t expect him to plan dates, if we haven’t gone on one in awhile i’ll usually ask him if he wants to go out to eat somewhere and he usually says yes. not saying your experience isn’t valid btw, im just sharing my own. if that is how all the women in your life have treated you then i can see why that is exhausting.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-03-22T13:48:51+00:00

Having a relationship requires having a relationship. I disagree that that's a bad thing. If a relationship doesn't look the way you need it to look, you don't belong in that relationship. You are not compatible.

If you cannot tell your partner when you're stressed, need a quiet period, or need support, you don't belong in that relationship. It's a function of trust. If you don't trust your partner, you don't have a healthy relationship.

Compatibility is just as important as consent, guys. Looking for some woman, a woman, any woman, is setting oneself up for failure. If she's not the woman, walk away. (If that means being single, make singleness less uncomfortable than being in a bad relationship.)

Sex is not synonymous with shared activities. It's not even synonymous with physical intimacy. Importantly, if you'd rather not watch a movie, and they put it on anyway, it's annoying. If you'd rather not have sex, and they push it anyway, it's SA. The expectation that a partner will occasionally endure annoyance is reasonable. The expectation that a partner will occasionally endure rape is not. Putting them in the same category is disingenuous. Treat sex with the seriousness its impact demands. Kthxbye.

icypiee · 2026-03-22T19:51:04+00:00

Men and women are different and thus want different things.

For men, they want a woman who likes him so much that she is very sexual for him. Men don’t want to feel like a wallet, they want to feel sexually wanted.

For women, they want a man who likes her so much that he is very caring and thoughtful for her. Women don’t want to feel like a sex object, they want to feel emotionally wanted.

That’s why dates and effort are important to women in the relationship.

That’s why enthusiastic and regular sex are important to men in relationships.

Because these things show genuine affection, love, and commitment.

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-03-22T13:58:47+00:00

It’s a two-way street, and you can’t just stop putting in the effort without your relationship taking a hit. It’s just like sex. It’s necessary for a good romantic relationship, you’re supposed to enjoy it, and you have to prioritize your time in the bedroom to keep things moving.

It’s totally fine if you have a few crazy weeks, but if your partner can’t deal with your schedule for a bit, you either need to be clear about your stress, they’ve have to adjust, or they’ve probably been feeling neglected for a lot longer than you realize.

Title	The courting process never ends for men.
Author	Sufficient_Low6728
Upvotes	85
Comments	390
Date	March 22, 2026 8:42 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1s0gjxv/the_courting_process_never_ends_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-courting-process-never-ends-for-men.1576136 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576136

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