Do you really don't understand why men don't wanna be the "great guy" who ends up with you after you go through all the "assholes"?

Littleknownfacts · 2019-07-31T14:49:37+00:00

It's because women don't see sex as a prize and they dont believe the P&D guy is winning over the "great guy".

flamingoinghome · 2019-07-31T18:35:03+00:00

Time.

If you like/love someone, you want to be with them as much/as long as possible, yeah? The idea is, the one you want to spend the most and longest time with is the one you like the most, and it's presumed they feel that way about you too. If you're really into a woman, you should WANT to spend years with her, not just a night, and you should WANT to hang out and be romantic and do stuff together, not just fuck and run; if you don't, you don't like her that much.

Sophiatab · 2019-07-31T17:55:56+00:00

Do you really don't understand why women don't wanna be the "virtuous wife" who ends up with you after you go through all the "sluts"? Please tell me why you think the good wife should feel she's lucky to have that guy (or worse the guy that's a bitter jerk because he could never convince the sexual promiscuous women to give him a try).

FlavFal · 2019-07-31T15:18:11+00:00

Sure, I get it. It's one of the reasons I don't have casual sex. Not the most important reason, but a reason nevertheless.

Maybe a good parallel would be a man who never had a problem committing to his past partners, always made their relationship official, introduced her to his friends and family, the whole thing, but then he starts dating a woman and won't do any of that with her when he knows she desires that. It's natural that she would feel weird about it.

findingfemininity · 2019-07-31T15:16:11+00:00

Hot take: women who don't get this lack empathy. It's not hard to understand why men would be upset at being "chosen" after you've fucked twice as many people as he has.

I wouldn't want to learn my partner has had sex with a lot of women who are way more attractive than me either.

Previsible · 2019-07-31T18:46:50+00:00

Not for a lack of empathy, it's a single persons damage if they feel they need to consistently compare themselves to their partners past relationships. Not that we don't all have insecurities, the thing is, we address those insecurities, talk about those insecurities, but we don't allow them to ruin a good relationship. We address they exist, and allow ourselves to be comforted in each others affection, but then we move forward, if you can't move forward then your partner isn't the problem.

I think the comment itself a blanket statement from the start and it applies to a very specific scenario which is personal to you OP and when you're being general about a specific statement you're not going to get any help understanding the actual situation because the people trying to impart knowledge haven't been given all of the facts..

AnarchoNAP · 2019-07-31T21:00:07+00:00

Some women know that they're in high demand now, and so either through bad logic or high time preference think/act as if they will be in high demand forever.

Some women just lack the skills to vet guys good enough to know that they're getting played. Usually they attain these skills later.

Casual sex was never appealing to me. If a woman made a habit of casual sex then it shouldn't' be surprising when a guy doesn't want her once she's "ready." (At the same time a guy who has made a habit of casual sex shouldn't be surprised when he isn't trusted by women.)

I consider every partner I had before my husband to be a failure on my part. Unless a guy gets married right out of high school I think there is a certain amount of failures that he has to be willing to tolerate. At the same time there comes a point where there were too many failures. The first one I was stupid enough to believe the guy. I didn't have a damn clue what I was doing and just believed what he said. So I wasn't intending to fuck around with him before I found my husband, but that's what happened. Then I just didn't know what to do, assumed guys would leave if I didn't sleep with them, and did a little bit of "if I sleep with him enough maybe he'll marry me."

If we had more guidance, there would still be promiscuous women sure, but I think your problem would happen MUCH less.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2019-07-31T15:04:35+00:00

There was a female comedian who said she was "pumping and dumping" guys in one night stands because they weren't good enough to be her boyfriends.

women think this in the sense that women dont believe their uncommited sex is the "prize", they think their love and commitment is the prize.

i have often said this here, but most of the time women who have a lot of casual sex and ONS fuck men that ARENT LTR material or that theyd be ashamed around their friends and family to LTR

Willow-girl · 2019-08-01T03:49:21+00:00

There was a female comedian who said she was "pumping and dumping" guys in one night stands because they weren't good enough to be her boyfriends. Is that how you think?

Well, yeah! The good ones become LTRs/husbands if they're willing. The less desirable ones get relegated to ONSs or FWBs.

TrueReligionGenes · 2019-07-31T18:12:48+00:00

Commitment is the reward in the female sexual imperative, whereas sex is the reward in the male imperative. This explains the disconnect.

GridReXX · 2019-08-01T02:41:21+00:00

Any man who won’t commit to me because I had sex before meeting him is a man I’m okay to “lose out on.”

I don’t think you realize how much women don’t alter their lives to attract random abstract men.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-07-31T14:57:24+00:00

Because sex isn’t the prize for women, it’s cheap

We prioritize relationships and commitment

KikiYuyu · 2019-07-31T14:56:17+00:00

I totally get it. I wouldn't want to be that for a man either.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-07-31T15:39:50+00:00

I think this idea that these non serious guys are assholes is very exaggerated. Many girls really do have guys they date or have sex with without wanting more with them, but its not like they are assholes, it's also that they are just... not all that but good enough (to make ego feel goof and give attention.) Often the guy she ends up with is the guy she fell in love with whom she sees as much superior to those guys (which is how he won her heart) - and not like "a better provider" superior but in the way that's actually complimentary (higher attraction, evokes genuine emotion, loves to be around him.)

However while this is more close to my experience and observations, I cant deny that many girls do say that they went specifically after assholes which I dont get but it's a thing. And yes I agree that in the scenario where the ex was pure lust and current guy is safe and stable, it's pretty insulting and not what anyone wants to be. I wouldn't want to be the safe girl either.

Just saying, it may be a stereotype for a reason but it's also far far from what should be an assumed scenario

exit_sandman · 2019-07-31T17:22:13+00:00

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EthelSupreme · 2019-07-31T16:23:38+00:00

In my case, I don't follow AFBB and so my current boyfriend is the "Alpha" and we have been together three years so...he is the best I have ever had. There was no pumping and dumping previous to this guy anyway, no CC and no casual sex. Your whole narrative is weird.

lemondropkid · 2019-07-31T19:15:38+00:00

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SparrowInAHurricane · 2019-07-31T16:27:40+00:00

I do understand what you are saying but I have a hard time accepting women really go into relationships thinking "hey I just met this great asshole, I'll date him awhile". There is something internal that says he really is a great guy once he gets rid of the facade. But he isn't. Then when you meet a great guy who's just a great guy and requires no reconstruction from an asshole, it turns the world upside down.

mistresswhat · 2019-07-31T19:22:53+00:00

There was a female comedian who said she was "pumping and dumping" guys in one night stands because they weren't good enough to be her boyfriends. Is that how you think?

Yeah, to some extent. I hate the term "pump and dump" because I think it's needlessly degrading but isn't this how a lot of men think? If you can understand why a man might see things that way you can understand why some women do. The big terpy bogeyman -- the woman who holds out on sex longer with relationship prospects -- is just deploying game and would probably stop doing that if it stopped working. If you're going to smugly proclaim your intention to act like an asshole because it gets you laid you can suck it up about a woman who strategically doesn't fuck you for a few dates.

I understand why some men feel emasculated by that situation, though. It's because they're neurotically terrified of comparison and they've stumbled into a belief system that encourages all their wildest insecurities. Fine, we all have our issues. I do think it's flawed thinking, but if you can't get over your neurosis you might as well live your life in a way that doesn't stimulate it.

Imagine if you paid for an expensive computer and received an empty box. Upon attempting to complain, you are told, "no, you clearly wanted the empty box, look how much you paid for it." When you give up and go computer shopping again the store clerk refuses to sell you a computer, citing the fact that you have a history of buying empty boxes and thus you must not really like computers. Anyway that's what it's like to be a woman in this very silly framework.

LeadInfusedRedPill · 2019-07-31T14:47:28+00:00

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69XxXCuckboyXxX69 · 2019-08-01T05:59:37+00:00

I don't think women really understand their subconsciousness. Choosing one guy to fuck him on a first day and not choosing the other guy, cuz she wants him to wait and commit, is basically saying the first dude would pass better genes.

lefactorybebe · 2019-07-31T15:57:52+00:00

No, I don't get it at all. There's just so many issues with this in my opinion.

First of all, how many guys are ending up in their late 20s with a girl who knew him and rejected him in his late teens? Unless that is your exact situation, you have no way of knowing if your gf would have dated you or not. You did not exist in her world yet.

Then, people change. Teenagers are idiots, and they make poor decisions. That's how we come to learn what we like/dislike in relationships, by trying it out, both men and women. You figure out what works/doesn't work by trying it out. Some of this is just a part of growing up, no 16 year old is expected to have their own money, a steady job, etc. Guess what, a 27 year old is. It wasn't a factor when choosing a partner at 17 because the option wasn't there, nobody has those things at that age. As you grow up, those things are expected of a partner because they're expected of everyone.

Then there's not this massive trend of women having ons with hot guys and then looking for someone they're not attracted to to marry. Most people are having sex within relationships, and after that is with a friend.

If the girl you're with had casual sex earlier and is now in a relationship with you, who tf cares?? I assume you're with this girl because you like her, not just because of sex, so why is it so offensive that someone else had sex with her sans commitment? Is that all you're there for, the sex? Should just break up if that's the case. And often, it has nothing to do with you, or with the guy she had casual sex with. It just wasn't the right time for her. Maybe she was about to move somewhere, so what's the point in starting something real? Maybe she was focusing on studies, or just not ready to devote the time and energy needed to a real relationship. It says nothing about you.

And so much of this is just about learning, which is not exclusive to either gender. Like should I be offended that my bf jumped into a relationship with a crazy, manipulative, cheater, but took it slower with me? No! He learned his lesson with that girl and wanted to make sure he wasn't making the same mistake with me. That's totally reasonable and how most people should behave.

To add to that, I actually knew my bf when we were in high school (we got together when I was 21, he was 22) and we didn't date. Should I be offended that he didn't pick me first? I don't care, it was ages ago and we were dumb teenagers. It literally does not upset me in the slightest that he knew me and didn't pick me right away. Really, it's for the better because we both gained experience in the relationships we had before we met each other, and are better partners for it. My bf freely admits that's he's happy we didn't get together in high school cause he doesn't think we would have lasted.

And of course this does not account for the women who never had casual sex.

Yes, I understand that if you believe that women are more attracted to the guys they have casual sex with than their relationship partners that youd be upset if you thought your gf didn't think you were attractive. But I think this belief is a silly one to have in the first place.

Edit: this also ignores all the guys who want a relationship and would be hurt if their partner didn't want one too and only wanted something casual with them.

poppy_blu · 2019-07-31T22:41:29+00:00

We totally understand. We just don’t absolve you of choices you freely make (to be the fallback guy) or agree with your solution which is to restrict women’s choices in ways that benefit you.

Do you understand why the beta (long term partner) feels emasculated when compared to the alpha (short term partner)?

We’re not responsible for how you feel about yourself. We’re also not responsible for your choice to be a “beta” loser and not strive for something better.

There was a female comedian who said she was "pumping and dumping" guys in one night stands because they weren't good enough to be her boyfriends.

Men have done this forever. In fact the entire RP philosophy is centered around this goal.

Stop being shameless hypocrites and get off your asses and create the life you want. The constant blame game is tired and weak af.

ProteinP · 2019-07-31T16:16:36+00:00

You should be a good guy for the sake of being a good guy. Not to get laid.

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LillthOfBabylon · 2019-08-01T02:46:11+00:00

If every girl you know is like this, you need to sit down and re-prioritize your life. You remind me of my ex-friend Kelsey who hated guys (except for her current husband) because the men she knew were all violent sex predators.

ontherailstoday · 2019-08-01T04:06:54+00:00

Of course I can understand not wanting a partner whose experience level is vastly above your own, who is jaded about things that you are still enthused about and exploring. of course I can understand the sadness that the person involved didn't find you earlier when they and you were still more in tune with each other's mindset. I am a low count woman and I don't want a manslut, of course I understand why low count men find a high count woman to be a difficult and less than ideal prospect.

I have more trouble understanding the anger... that seems a bit ridic, obviously people come to you with pasts in which they have made their choices without you in particular in mind, that's just reality. They own cats when you're allergic, they've fucked ten times the people you have, they have debts, they have laughable tattoos, they have stretch marks, they have sinks full of dirty dishes, they have stupid jobs they hate and will probably have to move on from, they have children, they have child support assessments, they have baby mumma/dadda drama, they've done things you still want to do and are over it. That's humans for you, they carry baggage, you aren't obliged to let baggage into your personal life ("no" is a great word) but neither are you reasonable if you get angry that baggage is a thing and you're having to say no. Baggage is generated as a consequence of living.

You know what? There's a lot of things we don't want in life, a lot of things we don't want to be in life. Chances are, life in general being what it is, you're going to have to decide whether to be some of things anyway. Once you've made that choice, yay or nay, then you've got the choice whether to be a whiny little bitch about it or whether to be graceful about it and a little bit grateful you didn't have even fewer choices available to you. That is what I can't understand, the total lack of reasonable levels of acceptance and stoicism and desire to live life gracefully despite its challenges. Guys, stop being whiny little bitches.

Anyhow, do I think some equivalent of "pumping and dumping" of guys by girls is a thing? Yeah, actually. I've lived a while, I've had a few friends who were going through sexually voracious phases. There's always desperate guys left in the wake of this who want nothing more than to form a relationship with the girl who is sleeping around.

"Is Heather on shift today?"

"Can you tell me when Heather is working?"

"I've written Heather a letter can you give it to her..."

"Can you tell Heather I've moved into a place on (name of local street) if she wants to come round after work..."

"I went round to the place in (suburb name) but there were new people there... do you know where heather is?"

Heather was a girl I worked with in 1989 who was pumping and dumping guys. Broke a lot of hearts she did, because once she'd got the experiences she wanted and a guy wasn't being entertaining or teaching her anything, he was gone.

nevomintoarce · 2019-07-31T16:04:43+00:00

Why would those women care? It's not like they can become younger and unfuck a couple people.

Ofourkind · 2019-07-31T14:47:58+00:00

Except they do

maljo24 · 2019-07-31T17:45:22+00:00

There’s no other possibility. You stop looking when you find the right guy. OP has not thought the through very well.

RaspberryInk · 2019-07-31T18:50:17+00:00

Imagine that you dated a girl, and had sex. She was hot AF, but shallow, crazy, boring, or whatever other personality trait was a deal breaker for you. So you break up and try (and fail) again. That happens a few times until you find someone you really, authentically like--someone you can see spending your life with and maybe raising kids with. They enrich your life. This is the girl you've been waiting for. Should she feel inferior to your previous partners... the ones you rejected because they weren't for you? Are they the alpha-women and your current girl that you love and want to marry your beta, or is it more likely that love has more dimensions to it then just Nat Geo animal behavior dynamics?

Nevidimka- · 2019-07-31T19:37:33+00:00

Most women don't intentionally date assholes. They just date guys they're into, without thinking about it too much. Just like younger guys btw. Then they get burned a couple times, then take a good hard look at their dating life and that of their friends and are like hmmm Billies are a much better choice if I want this to last and have children.

Most people don't like it when they get judged for something they didn't intend to do. The most common heard excuse for everything is "but I didn't mean to..."

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-07-31T20:42:10+00:00

I don't understand why previous guys who are assholes are more attractive than the guy I settle down with long term. Like most of the jerks were ugly , fat, weird, or some combination thereof. Now my fiance is for sure the most attractive guy I've been with. So that argument that he should feel emasculated because he's not as attractive as the other guy should be null and void. So what's there to be emasculated about exactly?

THE_MASKED_DOWNVOTTO · 2019-07-31T17:09:42+00:00

" Do you understand why the beta (long term partner) feels emasculated when compared to the alpha (short term partner)? Please tell me why you think the beta dude should feel like he's lucky to have that woman. "

It's not that "we think the "beta" dude should feel like he's lucky". It's just that we want YOU to stick around. There's a grain of truth in your sentiment. You're completely correct that most men "hit it and quit it", and when they "quit it", we learn a valuable lesson as women: Don't let them hit it. Then they won't "quit it". So when it comes to "the beta dude", we know up front that he will quit it once he hits it, so.... if I want a 30th date, don't let him hit it on the first one. :( :( :(

So we don't want to rub it in a guy's face that he's not going to hit it on the first date, it's that we want a second date, and a 3rd, and a 20th date. If we let him smash on the 3rd date, he won't be around for the 20th. It's as simple as that. Maybe men should stop quitting on the women as soon as sex happens. That might change women's perspective :( :( :(

phlegmdawg · 2019-07-31T17:24:24+00:00

I'm finding it really hard to muster up any sympathy for a person who is so bothered/focused by their current partner's dating history.

Just because one side is hyper focused on it have a specific way they personally interpret those past activities, does not make it reality. And to have that illogical POV taint the current relationship is such a sad thing to happen.

It shows a real lack of maturity on their part (my opinion only) and a complete difference in personal worth gauges. Which makes me wonder why those two people are together in the first place. It's through those trial and error relationships that people grew as a person to the one they are today. Part of taking someone on as an LTR is accepting their past in a way. This can come in many forms; kids/family, money obligations, emotional baggage, STD's. Just to name a few.

A "beta" feeling emasculated when (self comparing) themselves to past "alphas" is their own illogical problem to deal with. If they are engaged in a healthy relationship, each partner will be encouraged by the other, so that even if these thoughts do pop up, (because we are all human) they are fleeting.

Regarding the feeling lucky part, if both partners do not feel lucky to have the other, that's quite telling in itself. If you are in an LTR with someone and you think your life would be better without them in it, you should not be with that person.

brilliantfemale · 2019-07-31T21:30:04+00:00

erm, i dont think any male who thinks im a lesser being just because i had sex before him is worthy of my time let alone consideration.

RobotPartsCorp · 2019-07-31T18:03:03+00:00

Do you understand why the beta (long term partner) feels emasculated when compared to the alpha (short term partner)? Please tell me why you think the beta dude should feel like he's lucky to have that woman.

I honestly don't date insecure men so I guess I don't care. A man like that should feel lucky to get any women, even one with low standards, because it sounds like he is starving for sex, so that is a reason.

Danielle_Baptiste · 2019-07-31T21:25:58+00:00

um, we dont care that our sexual experience makes you feel less of a man. we just dont.give.a.fuck.

ElementalFairy7 · 2019-07-31T21:28:10+00:00

so, if this dudebro is mad because i had lovers before him, i can only think that:

a) he is insecure and double-faced

b) he is a misogynist, sexist pig i should never let close to my coochie

either way, i dont really give a fuk if some dudebro feels small, im not here to set myself on fire to keep any insecure man warm. bye felipe.

NewVerses · 2019-07-31T23:25:52+00:00

I perfectly understand that a man who feels like this is not worth my time. And to answer the last question in your post - yes, that is exactly it.

For argument's sake let's say sex is transactional - The one-time dude is only worth a literal single fuck. A long term dude is worth every fuck I can possibly ever have.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-07-31T16:05:59+00:00

I don’t think we sleep with/get into relationships with men who we think are assholes. Nobody goes into things acting like a dick - you are nice to the people you want to like you. After they sleep with/get into a relationship with a girl, they show their true dick colors. What you are missing though is that these girls and the dudes they are sleeping with are young. As they get older and more mature, the women look for men who are also more mature. Presumably the guys also grow and mature and are not the assholes they were in their early 20s.

kandyapplez · 2019-07-31T15:11:39+00:00

he should feel lucky to have me because i'm hot shit and i have my pick of the litter and i still chose him. i'm sure whoever i marry won't be the hottest guy i've been with because only a RETARD chooses a marriage partner that way

its basically me saying "you are great husband material because you've succeeded at all the things a man should, even if 19 year old me wouldn't have been interested." and when he was 19 he should have been busy banging girls who he also didn't want to marry.

most "beta husbands" aren't complete losers who spent their 20s with their dicks in their hands. i'm starting to think that guys who complain about dreading ending up in this position are guys who aren't even good enough for "beta husband" material becuz they'll say things about still being virgins in their 20s and shit. do guys like that even end up in successful marriages?

2019-07-31T19:53:55+00:00

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heart_lungs · 2019-07-31T20:45:16+00:00

I mean, a lot of people wouldn't like to be tied down when they're young. A lot of guys and girls just want to have fun while they're young, it's just generally easier for women to do so. Women are more than just our sexuality. There's clear benefits that a short term partner doesn't get. For example, it's a sacrifice of our health to have children with a partner. There's a very common social expectation on us (when it comes to serious relationships), for us to be caring and to take responsibility for the home/childcare but also to have careers.

Not every woman wants casual sex either, but it just so happens that they don't find the right one right away. When sex before marriage is so extremely common and not considered wrong anymore but a natural part of getting to know someone, the numbers can definitely add up over the years. You don't always know about the other person beforehand. The halo effect is real and can make you realize too late that someone's hot but wouldn't make a good partner. That's something that can take some maturity to realize.

Barneysparky · 2019-07-31T15:24:38+00:00

When I met my husband we were 30.

We both had previous relationships,and both had gone through unsettling relationship issues.

Luckily instead of blaming bad luck or the other person we decided at 30 to live our lives in a more mature fashion then we had in our 20's. We are quite normal in that regard, and married for 20 years now.

If the question is: can I as a 30 year old with no relationship history have the maturity to handle an adult relationship then the answer without a lot of help is no with one caveat . Relationships in teens and 20's are the school for marriage. Someone with no relationship history hasn't gone to school yet.

The Caveat! There is hope for guys and girls who can't get into meaningful sexual relationships. Friends and family. They are also school for your future relationships. If you don't have family go out and make some.

As for your future girlfriend who you will meet that way if you work hard at friendships, some potentials may have had a few ONS. I consider one nighters to be nothing but prostitution for women. It's an easy flip, if you would use a prostitute then that's that, if not, not the girl for you.

You might meet a girl whose had a previous relationship. What you do is up to you, but if she's dramatic about their relationship to you she will be dramatic in her relationship with you.

One of the things that made me want to spend my life with someone is that his ex's girlfriends family had nothing but respect for him. The first family member I met was his ex's dad. He approved of me :)

Don't blame someone else for your feelings of jealousy. However it's completely alright to want someone who fits right for you. Don't ever try to fit a square peg in a round hole, the goal is to find your partner.

Shaedra- · 2019-07-31T21:37:48+00:00

if you really think any self-respecting woman will fear what some mythical magic penis will think of her i have a bridge to sell you.

i scrolled down the thread and saw that you want your women pure and virginal but you are not virginal yourself.

i have no words to express my disgust with your rampant misogyny and double-think.

i can only be at peace knowing that you will be miserable as long as you think women ought to do what men expect of them.

reluctantly_red · 2019-07-31T22:23:36+00:00

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yasee · 2019-07-31T14:49:52+00:00

he should feel lucky to have that woman if he likes her and wants her lol. if he is jealous about her past then he should absolutely not be with that person, that's a recipe for disaster

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-07-31T17:22:46+00:00

Of course I do. I just wouldn’t choose to be with a man like that (not that I followed this pattern.)

To me getting threatened by anything in my past is a red flag. There are enough men out there that are alpha enough that they see a woman’s past as nothing, they aren’t threatened solely because they don’t spend much time thinking about women’s actions anyway; and they also are so secure in their masculinity that they find it amusing or silly or just don’t think about it—there are enough guys that are like that but still have enough marriageable traits, that I wouldn’t need to settle for a guy who gets triggered.

Like I said; I get it. This isn’t some kind of bait challenge to tell you not to care, you do you, you don’t have to accept something you can’t tolerate.

2019-07-31T19:04:39+00:00

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nemma88 · 2019-07-31T16:47:21+00:00

It's not that we don't understand, it's just whining.

You be the best you, that's what you should aim for. And for many people that means the best runner up, sorry we are not all winners. This isn't a male exlusive thing. Your probably not the richest, funniest. Do yall get butt hurt about that too?

Beta isn't last place, BB is a sexual strategy making winners out of losers, men securing the procreation win with offering of resources. If your not a alpha and don't want to be a beta, then just go sit in loserville.

Its like me complaining you don't all find me 10/10 and send me money. It's just making the best out of reality.

Edit; or you could donate sperm, forgot about that.

Thounumber1 · 2019-07-31T22:25:52+00:00

There was a female comedian who said she was "pumping and dumping" guys in one night stands because they weren't good enough to be her boyfriends. Is that how you think?

Are you talking about ali wong?

misiepatysie · 2019-08-01T09:13:24+00:00

II do not understand why my long term partner should feel worse than my short term partners. I pay for my own shit, I have sex with him whenever he wants, I cook for him and take care of him, he is more masculine than any men I ever have been with and yet he is sweet and supportive. If he wasn't the best of the baest I would not be with him.

mouse_trap2 · 2019-08-01T09:30:49+00:00

Because the only thing the ONS guys have going for them is that they are hot.

Now as for the LTR? Some women may settle down with a less attractive guy (the beta) as per the red pill. But there are plenty of reasons, because women are not a monolith, they have independent desires.

-She thinks they've fallen in love if they have sex quick, doesn't realise he can have sex without an emotional connection. Boom, rejected to the fuck zone. LTR is first not to fuck zone.

-Had sex because he's hot, thought about relationship after. LTR is the first hot guy that was also LTR material.

-Literally, he's hot but not LTR material, so they'll just take the sex. Or maybe it's that time of the month, she's horny or feels like doing something exciting. Time dependant (like one or two nights) so picks the best guy out of limited choice.

-Halo effect: hot people can get away with more assholery, like pumping and dumping. A non attractive asshole wouldn't get the opportunity.

-And importantly, not knowing or considering the male point of view and what a future LTR might think, just like many men don't do the same for women. (i.e. does not understand "why the beta (long term partner) feels emasculated when compared to the alpha (short term partner)"). For starters, I don't know if it's normal for men to think like this or not. I'm not even sure it's falsifiable because we can all say men just won't admit to this, but they all think LTR is for beta, ONS for alpha like they are animals in captivity.

2019-08-01T17:24:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

doctor_trucks · 2019-08-01T20:24:33+00:00

If you dont want to date women who have had short term partners, then dont date them. It's extremely simple. I do not understand what you are trying to say here.

Superfluous_Toast · 2019-08-02T07:39:03+00:00

I can see how a man would perceive it the way he does, but that doesn't mean his perception is reality. The so-called "beta" makes a lot of assumptions about his situation that more often than not aren't true.

UTC24 · 2019-08-02T18:09:15+00:00

1000 comments later two conclusions can be drawn:

Women don't give a flying fuck what men think or feel. There are two aspects of this: female solipsism - they don't have the ABILITY to know anything outside of their experiences, and female imperatives - they are NOT WILLING to know what it's like to be in someone else shoes, they only care about what's important to THEM. Both contribute women's inability/unwillingness to empathize with men.
Mysterious Chads' life is misunderstood greatly by redditors. They have an easy way with women and they have options. Some of them take advantage of that and become players. But most of them don't have the appetite or energy to play the field. Many of them succumb to passionate chase by an average girl and settle down early in their 20s. But you know what, they go through the same shit as an average man in the marriage once the girl is used to the shared life. Hypergamy kicks in sooner or later and she's no longer satisfied. She may not look for attractiveness in other men but there is always something out there. I saw plenty of attractive men got fucked over by their wives. So don't blame Chads for your woes.

AngryNurse2019 · 2019-08-03T11:06:37+00:00

Alpha and beta aren’t real.

foxglove333 · 2019-08-05T16:55:55+00:00

This is hilarious if I ever meet a guy who cares about that and I actually wanted him I can just say I’m a virgin, easy as pie. Good luck finding a real virgin ones who haven’t had sex do lots and lots of anal (catholic girls)

TheseAcadia · 2019-08-23T05:05:21+00:00

Thread is quite old. Sorry to kick a dead horse, but I feel like most people misinterpreted OP; he wasn't talking about guys who have been already settled for, he's talking about those who feel like they're going to be settled with and so because of that, bail out of the relationship.

khaste · 2019-12-30T05:49:09+00:00

because women expect to be treated as queens, doesnt matter what happens or what they do it seems

TheJim66 · 2019-07-31T22:05:21+00:00

Of course they understand it.And that's why IRL they all hide this from their SO.They just don't care since male thirst is so strong that there will always be a replacement that will accept her bullshit.

Title	Do you really don't understand why men don't wanna be the "great guy" who ends up with you after you go through all the "assholes"?
Author	Blonsomio
Upvotes	211
Comments	1131
Date	July 31, 2019 2:43 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ck9ef9/do_you_really_dont_understand_why_men_dont_wanna/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-really-dont-understand-why-men-dont-wanna.254665 https://theredarchive.com/post/254665

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