How many people here have had their heart broken?

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-01-30T00:29:55+00:00

I had my first love choose heroin over me. It’s a different type of heartbreak but it was very real to me

NeatClean3715 · 2022-01-29T23:03:19+00:00

Once. Been guarding myself years after that. I also think that was the only person i ever genuinely loved.... my heavy guarding doesn't allow those feelings to form for others/makes it hard.

cautionTomorrow555 · 2022-01-29T22:57:09+00:00

I had one woman do everything she could do to destroy my heart and later apologized about doing so years later admitting it was intentional and multiple others that toyed with it almost seemingly taking joy in it. That is why I am slower to open up to women I date and put up far more barriers. It also caused me to raise my standards in what I am willing to date because if I have to take that risk I better get something out of it.

TheEndTrend · 2022-01-30T01:24:52+00:00

I have a few times, but my ex-wife fucking decimated my heart when she divorced me...even though it was for the best, and I saw it coming. We were married just shy of 8 years, together for a decade. If I live to be 100 I hope I never feel heartache like that again.

88scarlet88 · 2022-01-30T00:55:23+00:00

Having my heart broken is one of my biggest nightmares. I’m 31 and I hope I never experience it. Having said that my current bf could break my heart into a million pieces and that I’m sure I could do the same to him. Love makes you vulnerable, but if you put up sensible boundaries and really get to know someone before you make yourself that vulnerable. It’s more than worth it.

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-01-29T22:52:18+00:00

Just took it one day at a time, get use to your new reality that the person you use to care for is no longer there. Gradually the hurt goes away and you get on in your life. Granted I’ve had a few self-deletion attempts along that path to recovery but managed to pull through in the end stronger than before. Ok maybe not stronger. Just more cautious and suspicious of ulterior motives.

Aiizimor · 2022-01-29T22:57:00+00:00

I tried to drown it all with vodka. Only made me realise alchool doesnt stop the pain in my mind, it just makes me feel like shit in and out. Some time passes and she made it clear it was truly over. Felt like my heart was never going to stop pounding. I slept on my stomach back then and my heart was beating hard enough to fucking move me. I went to my landlord who was worried for me and asked to try those pills he had offered. They stopped my heart from pounding but that's about it. I stopped using them once my heart calmed down and wouldnt pound whenever they wore off. I still have the bottle somewhere and I've never used them since

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-01-29T23:07:13+00:00

I would think most adults have been through a heartbreak at least once. I know I certainly have.

Ascribing people's opinions to "hatred" is almost always a lame strawman. People vent frustrations here, often in ways that are poorly thought out, and come off unlikable and whiny. But I haven't seen anyone actually express hatred for an entire gender.

CatoftheBanals · 2022-01-30T00:14:57+00:00

Yes. I was dating someone and we were discussing marriage, and even children someday. I was offered a good job in a big city; he didn’t want to go. He issued an ultimatum. I chose the job.

Later I find out he had been cheating on me for…well, I’m not sure how long. I didn’t ask for or want details. He ended up marrying the woman he cheated on me with. He still cheats, according to an acquaintance who slept with him at some point during his marriage.

My faith in men’s fidelity was pretty shaken after that (my college BF also cheated). As far as “working on it,” therapy and medication helped me trust people again and set up healthier self-esteem and a less negative outlook.

Christian_Kong · 2022-01-29T23:47:25+00:00

I haven't been first party heart broken(cheated on/etc) but the horrors of other people, the selfishness/rottenness of people and society has certainly done so to myself.

Astrotheurgy · 2022-01-30T02:40:34+00:00

I've had not only my heart, but my soul broken. Nothing has ever come close to that pain. You end up living in it's shadow for years and things still seem dimmer.

CFinCanada · 2022-01-30T04:21:18+00:00

Before my current love, the love of my life, my relationships were marred by either neglect or abuse.

I figured punching holes in doors when very frustrated was just a thing men do; blue collar, university degree, book lover, tall, short, didn't seem to matter. Heck, for one of the guys I wasn't even there when it happened. I went over to his apartment one day and there was just a random hole in his linen closet door.

With all of that being said, I actually like men. I value my guy friends quite a bit, I just recognize that most of them do not have what it takes to make a woman happy. They're loads of fun, and good friends, great to party with, handsome in some cases. They're also fickle, or lazy, or paranoid (probably from doing too many mushrooms or smoking too much weed) or critical/very picky about a woman's looks, or self-destructive with poor habits (smokers, see previous comment about mushrooms). Wouldn't be surprised if many of them were secretly entitled and expect the woman they have kids with, if they ever do have kids, to do all the work.

Men quite often make better friends than romantic partners. I don't think it's hateful to notice.

Even with my exes who were punching holes in doors and hurling hateful names even on my birthday, if they had been kept as friends only, I wouldn't have had anything bad to say about them. They had brilliant intellects or great senses of humour, just totally impossible to live with.

sootlord · 2022-01-29T23:00:44+00:00

Too many times.

All my LTRs would end up with my gf cheating on me. Never did anything wrong but always bore the sole weight of the relationship on my shoulders.

wtknight · 2022-01-29T23:05:59+00:00

I went through an unwanted divorce. It made me really picky about women because I didn't want to be hurt again, to the point that I didn't have another date again until six years after the divorce. The mentality was that I wanted to find the "perfect person", because everyone else just seemed like a waste of time if she was just going to break up with me despite years of loyalty and love.

pfmarshallx · 2022-01-29T23:25:03+00:00

Every man regardless of race colour or creed above 16 has not only been heart broken by a woman but taken advantaged of, maligned by or screwed over by a woman. It’s the one thing that unites us all Edit: Charlie Sheen said it best: the best way to avoid having of your heart broken it to pretend you don’t have one. In my opinion all men should remember this

Savierdua · 2022-01-30T01:04:39+00:00

My ex of 7 years broke up with me because “he had no intention of marrying the only woman he had ever had sex with”. Found out shortly after that I wasn’t even “the only woman he had ever had sex with” either. He cheated on me about 5 years into the relationship. I was devastated.

I figured I would just never trust or love again, took me 2 years of celibacy and three more years of casual sex and several strs before I started dating and fell in love with my now husband.We are a much better match.

iammybiggestenemy · 2022-01-30T00:05:06+00:00

First guy I dated was a very serious, traditional, christian guy who turned out to be not as serious and hardworking as me and just abandoned me when things got hard. I don’t hate men because of it but it was sort of disappointing that even the men I considered to be the strongest were that weak.

As for recovery, I’m just looking for someone else to prove to me that men are indeed strong, but it’s hard to find serious, mature guys around my age.

OfCatandPagan · 2022-01-29T23:54:38+00:00

Made me less likely to believe what people say especially people who seem like they're a nice kind person, and this was just one instance of heart break because I'm a "one relationship" kind of person(I'll elaborate later but it's a bit different now), I have zero interest in hookups or dating around. Rough lesson to learn and oddly enough my ex seemed to be more upset about the relationship ending than I am(despite him being the one who cheated). Part of him, I think, was hopeful that my forgiveness and the continued loyalty was a sign we'd be ok.

You can already hear Morgan Freeman saying "They were in fact, not ok" here.

We were both holding onto something that was gone long ago and all it did was breed resentment and depression.

Equivalent-Shoe4095 · 2022-01-30T11:06:54+00:00

When I was 21 years old. My gf was a Muslim & her family came to know that she's dating a Hindu guy(ME). They got her married to someone. Worst thing is, she couldn't say no to her parents.

Swans-r-cunts · 2022-01-30T12:35:39+00:00

Twice.

My first ever boyfriend. We dated for five months when I was 16 and he broke up with me because presumably he was bored. It took me forever to get over that as I was young and it all felt so intense at the time. I deleted his number and we never spoke again.

Second time happened when I was around 25. We were hooking up and became fuck buddies that were emotionally very close. He didn't feel the same way as I did and in hindsight I think he had some intimacy issues. That felt very intense at the time and it took forever for me to get over. I blocked him and deleted his number to ensure I couldn't contact him again.

I've also hooked up with two guys who didn't want to see me after we had sex.

In all my proper relationships and most of my flings it was me ending things

SerialGeneralist · 2022-01-30T19:16:17+00:00

I was ghosted in one relationship and the other used the fuck outta me. I guess when some other woman with more money came around he didn’t have no use for me anymore. Found out about his engagement on IG. Now he’s having a custody battle with that same woman and she’s the baby mama from hell. Karma is a bitch. I don’t care about these men’s feelings to be honest.

Superfluous_Toast · 2022-02-01T03:11:15+00:00

Yes. I moved on eventually, spent several years thinking about what was important to me and what I wanted in a partner. And then, when I decided to put myself out there and make some new friends, I found what I was looking for.

armordog99 · 2022-01-29T23:40:33+00:00

Twice when I was younger. Got friend zoned and kept the friendship going instead of running away. However, I don’t hate women and have been married to a wonderful women now for 23 years.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned over the course of my 50+ years on this planet. Men and women are very similar with some things and very different with others, especially when it comes to love and sex. It is the way we are wired and the difference in hormones. To hate the other sex because of the way they act(excluding actually evil/mean acts) is like hating a shark because it bites you. That’s just it’s nature.

EdessaKandros · 2022-01-30T00:23:15+00:00

I’ve lost two best friends, those situations both broke my heart. They were my lady friends though not a boy.

I think it’s important to not let bad experiences prevent you from making connections with other people or worse mistrusting a whole group due to the actions of one.

spoiledsweet · 2022-01-30T00:34:26+00:00

When I was four, I thought I was in love with my father after he molested me. Then he handed me off to his brother.

You could say my therapist and I are pretty tight.

wtknight · 2022-01-30T00:24:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

decoy88 · 2022-01-30T02:07:12+00:00

Many times. Like at least 3 significant heartbreaks in my years of dating.

The way to get through it is to remember that “shit happens” to everyone and most people figure out how to move on.

I’m not so special that my love or heartbreak was so much greater than anyone else’s, so I’m not above using the cliché advice that has worked for millions before me:

Reduce / cut contact
Fill up the spare time with healthy distractions
Time - the biggest one. Gotta wait to get over the heartbreak, gotta heal. It’s also the hardest to accept when you’re going through it.

and hopefully gain new insights from the experience that can be carried forward to do it better next time.

AAh-__DuuuWhot337 · 2022-01-30T02:47:00+00:00

We have all heard each other’s heart break stories & we all know for a fact how a majority of women can be both emotionless & cruel to those that care & treat them the best. As far as I can tell, women have always been somewhat like this & it was very well known. Hence why cultures around the globe had instituted specific standards that women must follow with in that culture.

If this is & was the case. If everyone knew that nice guys always finish last? My question is? Then why in the ever living fuck was we all taught to be the exact thing women Fucking despise? The one thing that they literally find repulsive. Everyone taught us as children how to be the nice guys & filled our heads with how desirable these men were. As we grew up believing that we would be somewhat desirable cause of how we treated women as humans not objects, we were ridiculed, traumatized, bullied, taken advantage of, abused & mentally tortured by both women & other men. But mostly at the hands of women. So who is responsible for this gigantic power shift? Who fucked it all up?

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-01-30T02:38:26+00:00

There are 2 very distinct versions of my identity.

Those before my then fiancé crushed me in the most cruel, heartless and devastating fashion and who I became after.

We were together for 5 years and she was the only person I truly loved to the extent that I would have laid down my life to protect her.

She ended up “befriending” a former coworker / friend of mine who I introduced her to at a group dinner.

He started orbiting her and texting her and eventually she started secretly sneaking off to his place from her work to “hang out”

Finally, one night, she went to dinner “with friends” while I worked late. She thought I was home.

On my way home I stumbled on them in his car practically fucking, but they didn’t see me see them.

I stumbled home in a daze, dry heaving and with my head spinning and collapsed on the bed. I just stared at the ceiling for another 30 minutes contemplating all of the life plans I had that I just saw fall apart in an instant.

Then she came in.

She walked in like nothing had happened. Actually she was in a great / happy mood and was humming and furiously texting (obviously me knowing who and why) and greeted me with the same old “how was work baby, do you want to watch a movie?”

I asked her how dinner was, how so-and-so was (because she said she went with another girlfriend) etc.

She lied about all of it without hesitation or a hint of remorse.

I think it was only after my demeanor gave away that I obviously knew something did she start to trickle truth me about the whole thing.

Guys will know how that game goes from women.

Finally I just calmly told her to give the keys and get out of the house.

It was 2am and she lived an hour away and would have to get somebody (presumably him) to give her a ride.

Only then did she start to cry. When it became a situation in which there would be an inconvenience / consequence for her.

Disgustingly I gave in and let her sleep one more night there while I slept on the couch.

She woke up left the keys and left the house.

I spent the next few months either drunk, on benzo’s or both in a futile effort to dull the unrelenting pain.

I was unable to date or have sex again for another 2 years.

Did I mention how my emotional stage made me repulsive to women?

For the next few years, despite trying to avoid her, the wound would get re-opened as we had many mutual friends and worked in the same industry and had to attend the same events so I’d either see them together or hear about them.

Eventually they got married and had a kid. I still get to hear about their fairy tale life occasionally with the knowledge that I facilitated it all by introducing them.

The lessons I learned about the capacity for deception, cruelty and utter depraved indifference from women I will never forget and I have caught it early every time since then.

Just look at this thread - almost every story from a guy is similar. A girl fucking a guy (or guys) behind their man’s back. Often even friends of the guy.

Contrast this with the majority of women’s stories of “heartbreak” in which it’s basically some Chad figure that didn’t want them back or just a man who decided to move on from the relationship like an adult.

This is what TRP calls branch swinging and it’s utterly common for women to do.

LittyKitsune · 2022-01-30T00:14:51+00:00

I consider myself lucky that I've only had one major one in my actual dating life, the second one was more of an unrequited thing.

I was like 14 and fell for a teacher basically twice my age. I know what you're thinking. Just a silly crush, right? Told myself as much for the longest time.

And then I found out he was dating someone, I think maybe my sophomore or junior year. Another teacher at my school. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I overheard girls gossiping about them. I remember my heart racing like crazy and feeling kind of nauseous.

Well, senior year comes around and guess who's assigned to be my homeroom teacher? His girlfriend. For like an entire year I found myself comparing to her, wishing I could be older and prettier and smarter and quirkier, over a silly freshman crush I thought I had gotten over. Come back from winter break that year? She's wearing an engagement ring. I wanted so badly to be happy for them like my classmates were but it stung like crazy. I think I would call that my first heartbreak.

quiditplomb · 2022-01-29T23:27:49+00:00

I’ve only had my heart broken as a teenager, so I wouldn’t really count it. However, it still sucked because it was broken by men far older than me and who groomed/took advantage of me.

SnooCats37 · 2022-01-30T00:17:30+00:00

I think with a lot of women they get their heart broken in relationships but by the time they leave that relationship they have already finished grieving what they thought they had, they just needed to find the strength to leave

delusionalubermensch · 2022-01-30T00:30:25+00:00

Yes in many different ways from many different people. The hardest are always the ones where I cared more and wanted more but it didn’t work out for many multiple reasons. Most of the time it’s me breaking my own heart with delusional fantasies and unrealistic expectations. Learning is slow. The bad neural wiring from trauma and abuse and negative situations as a kid and an adult are persistent. Have to be careful always. Can’t trust my attraction instincts.

chromie96 · 2022-01-30T00:36:10+00:00

The first guy i ever loved broke my heart and I'm still not sure why. It was long distance and we were planning on moving in together. He seemed to really actually love me, he was very sweet to me and we would stay up all night talking on video chat. Then out of no where he just kind of stopped. It went from talking all the time to nothing over night. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong but he never really answered me until he broke up with me on Valentine's day. I haven't really talked to him since and i don't understand why or what i did. It devastated me at the time. It gave me some pretty gnarly abandonment issues and i still sometimes have trouble believing that my partner actually loves me even though i know he does

TheLrgFries · 2022-01-30T00:40:19+00:00

I think a lot of people stumble across groups like this after heartbreak or trauma looking for answers or a mechanism to cope. I think that’s why you sense everyone has been through it on this subreddit.

Personally, I hated myself more than anything else during the roughest parts of it all - never did I hate the entire female gender.

Consistent exercise, and goals (professional and personal) is helping keep me on-track without thinking too much about it.

GaryClarksJuniors · 2022-01-30T00:57:36+00:00

Twice, caused me to have major trust issues and jealousy issues and probably really low self esteem for years until I worked on it. Nowadays I try not to let other peoples actions affect me to such a degree in the courting and dating stages.

Oh_Debussy · 2022-01-30T01:27:12+00:00

Not necessarily gotten my heart broken but I’ve been played so many times by women. I have serious trust issues now with women

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-01-30T01:40:48+00:00

Honestly I haven't had what I would consider a "real" heartbreak. What I did experience was extremely low self-worth, in no small part due to my complete ignorance of romantic love at the time. I've never been suicidal, but I self-harmed with alcohol for many years of my adult life. I'd get home after unloading Walmart trucks for 10-12 hours, pop open a big bottle of nasty, $7 vodka, flip on Trailer Park Boys, and pretend I didn't hate my life as I let my body deteriorate.

It was that hard for about a year or two. I didn't get drunk every night, but when I drank I got sloppy drunk every time. Once I ran out of vodka before I could get properly drunk, and since I worked the evening shift I couldn't go get more. Not proud to say it, but I cried. Being hammered was the only way I could enjoy the life I was living. Middle of Kansas, no car, never kissed a girl at 21 (I know, age grants perspective, it wasn't that bad), unmedicated clinical depression was kicking my ass, every time I saved enough to get a glimpse of a better life a new expense would wash it all away, and due to that bad place I was in and the fact I didn't take care of myself, a few women were visibly disgusted when I tried to show interest.

I'm sure there are others out there who experience this, but most do not. It is exceptionally lonely to be a young college dropout, watching all your friends (and seemingly the whole rest of the world, even though that isn't true) out there living a better life, a life with a future, a life with a partner–a life where chicken nuggets, party pizzas, boxed mac n cheese, and ramen noodles don't comprise your entire diet while you slave away at a job that grinds down your joints and ultimately your mind. The worst part is that I didn't see a way out. There wasn't any hope, because every fiber of my being was focused on coping, and I couldn't leave the job because I was perpetually behind on rent, and didn't have any marketable skills.

Thank god that part is over.

redback-spider · 2022-01-30T01:48:31+00:00

I disagree, I broke my heart myself, but feeled no real anger, because like somebody that cuts themself to feel something, I had a similar good feeling about it.

But why do I say I did it to myself, because I drank the Kool-aid or had to little self confidence to push harder, just telling the women that I like her and then expect from her to escalate in the next meet-up (in a group) and well the fact that she was together with a guy saw basically as a deterant, not for saying that to her but to push harder and push more.

Later I learned that she has left that guy at some point before I saw her the next times, but never did a move again.

I was stupid and young and believed that if a women has a boyfriend that this means she is taboo, beta not really but half feminist idiot soy boy.

Whatever, but no, not beeing bluepilled doesn't mean that you hate women, the opposite being "nice" is considered "bad boy" for many/most women, because beeing nice means you are manipulative and not honest. "beeing nice" = lying.

Feisty-Saturn · 2022-01-30T01:58:14+00:00

My first love cheated and got another woman pregnant. It was devastating at the time but I look at it now as a blessing in disguise. He had a lot of other red flags but it took something that big for me to walk away.

nemma88 · 2022-01-30T02:08:21+00:00

Yeah. I've been cheated on, blindsided. To see a life of you've planned and work for slip away completely out of your control. I've considered holding down the gas pedal after a bad breakup and never waking up.

I do not hate men. Hurt like shit when these things happened but life keeps moving on. You deal with it. I don't see the sense in punishing people who have not hurt me.

And sure, that leaves me vulnerable, but I know I'll deal and the pain is just for now.

TC19962023 · 2022-01-30T02:45:36+00:00

Yes. I've had trouble finding someone. 4 years ago I met someone who was everything I ever wanted - and no I don't mean "super hot model". I meant everything in terms of values, attributes, personality, ambitions, character, intelligence, connection, affinity for kids - you name it. She really was the "person you dream of being with" situation. Imagine meeting your dream ideal Man or Woman. That is how I felt with her. But despite us getting along really well, and she thinking well of me, and me bringing about as much to the table that she did (we were both intelligent, ambitious, strong moral values, and good with kids) she rejected me for unknown reasons and refuses to say.

I did not have the best childhood. Have had trouble dating and finding the right person and being a guy, dating once you graduate is almost impossible cause it is all online and (you know the typical rant) so I've had trouble finding anyone period. Anyway imagine being someone who has not had the best life growing up but you focused on doing all the right things. You meet someone who you feel could be your happily ever after. You get to know her and realize she was more amazing than you thought and you had 10/10 compatibility. But, for no reason, she does not feel the same way about you and has no desire to be with you. You see your happily ever after waved and front of you and snatched away, as if God or whatever is just a massive troll. That is heartbreak.

Edit: Context. I am M26

Murphysmongoose · 2022-01-30T02:58:16+00:00

Two real times that actually hurt me, not just butthurt made me mad.

One was my ex wife/"babymama," when she cheated on me with, "just a friend." Thought that was my forever/rest of life relationship. Got divorced over that. Now she looks awful, looks at me like I'm a snack... So got that petty shit of an inside hehe going for me.

The other was the one I've loved most in my life so far. She had some mental issues, "fr" issues... actual diagnosed and on meds issues... not just, "she crazy b/c some dude said so."

She would quit taking her meds, and flip out on me and her family. She'd be fine, and decide, "I'm happy now, I'm good, I don't need these..." and not tell anyone. Then fast forward a couple few weeks, she's assaulting one of us.

We went through this cycle on and off a few times over the years, until she finally flipped out on her mom badly enough they had her locked up. Her dad blamed me, b/c, "She doesn't quit taking her meds until you come along."

I was (from my perspective) threatened with my life by her dad, if I ever took her back again. She had one of her episodes again, I wasn't there to run and save her... and they found her dead on the bathroom floor. I always thought one day she'd be fine, well stable enough we could get back together, and make it work this time.

I don't hate women, I still love them. I should be misogynistic af and MGTOW from what all women have done to me... but I can't help it. I'm always still looking and hoping for that new, better love somewhere.

2022-01-30T03:40:22+00:00

It wasn’t broken. Just fortified. We should have never loved each other in the first place. But damn was it raw and genuine. I don’t think I’ll ever hurt again that bad again which is good, but I’ll also never be able to love that way again, I don’t think thats a bad thing..I think were both better off because of the experience. It took months of self betterment and self reflection. Working on myself to be a better person. I was a wreck after our fallout. If I ever get in another relationship I think the new girl will appreciate the work I did to recover. I loved way too hard. I felt like I was in a movie. It’s great when its going good but when it goes bad it’s really terrible. I mellowed out alot. Problem is I think the amount of women that would actually work with me is EXTRMELY low. So I’ve just accepted I might be alone forever. Might adopt idk.

lissssa-13 · 2022-01-30T04:11:39+00:00

Yes. I isolated and cried and sulked and then when I realized how much I was undermining mysef and letting his behaviour harm me more, I went to therapy and did the work on myself to never believe I deserved to be in a relationship like that again.

lil_Frankenstein · 2022-01-30T05:20:47+00:00

Got love bombed. It was the best shower of attention and gifts I ever received from someone especially of the opposite gender. I didn’t know how to feel or what to feel but such gratitude that when she’s started to walk over me and press my boundaries it took 2 years and constant reactive abuse by the end I don’t know if it was really me or her but I only knew no one is worth suffering especially when they know they’re hurting you intentionally but rather break it off, they mock you in secret but praise you in the light. Find someone that will love you in both manners, some one who challenges your interests, hobbies, and goals not your insecurities, vulnerability, and most importantly trust. Abusers love trust

Condom-Ad-Don-Draper · 2022-01-30T05:55:15+00:00

My former boyfriend passed away four years ago. I haven’t even come remotely close to loving anyone else.

xDearDiaryx · 2022-01-30T07:51:14+00:00

Twice . Once was my very first love . Dated for four and half years . How my heart got destroyed ? We hung out , everything was normal . For the next 3 days , he ignored all my texts and calls . Finally , he answered on day 4 on video chat and another woman was performing oral on him during the call . That’s how he broke up with me . Apparently he needed a place to stay since his parents kicked him out and he couldn’t live with me as I lived with my parents , so he found a girl desperate enough to take in a stray . That took me 3 years to fully get over . Second heartbreak was a even deeper love . Only dated a year , but I wanted to marry this man , and he made me believe he wanted marriage as well . Towards the end , it became long distance . We got into an argument about how I couldn’t drive to see him ( I had multiple strokes while he was away , unable to drive ) a few days after the argument, he told me he found another woman he is getting serious with and just wants to be “friends “ and I heard her in the background laughing at me because I was crying very upset . I’ve seen single ever since .

Dealunbreaker · 2022-01-30T07:58:45+00:00

I caught my partner having an affair with an ex who had sexially assaulted me. The affair lasted 3 years under my nose, in the middle of which we got engaged and then married. He fucked her in my bed the night before our wedding.

When I asked him why, his answer was "it was the most hurtful thing I could do to you. I figured you'd kill yourself when you found out"

modidlee · 2022-01-30T08:08:25+00:00

I’ve seen it said that redpill men “hate women.” It made me realize that people don’t understand it’s actually the opposite. Most guys that go redpill usually loved a woman too much who didn’t love them the same way.

mmeIsniffglue · 2022-01-30T10:30:27+00:00

This is just the saddest thread ever. I hope you all recover friends 💐💍

CreativeMind1999 · 2022-01-30T12:11:58+00:00

I had my heart broken pretty badly recently. I was dumped by the man I thought is my soulmate and I sometimes have hope he’ll come back but I know what he did to me showed his real character and I deserve better. I can’t help the fact I still love him a lot and some days are better than the others but I try my best to focus on myself and let the past behind. I am trying to recover by distracting myself most of the time. Going out, studying, lookmaxxing, spending time with people that really care about me and trying to stay away from toxic behaviours I had in the beginning like drinking. I think it’s important to know your worth and remember the right one will love you for who you are!

Im_tirednbored · 2022-01-30T12:24:00+00:00

Offcourse. All of em. Everyone is broken. Idk how ppl take the idea of being broken as but everyone is broken. Some are broken by heart,. Some broke coz they dont have money. Some are physically injured. There isn't any single human being who isn't broken or hurt or haven't had pain, either physical or emotional pain. This question doesn't exist actually.

iwasneverherehaha · 2022-01-30T12:25:12+00:00

If you've not been heart broken youve not lived

Willow-girl · 2022-01-30T13:17:21+00:00

More than once. Time heals all wounds.

goatismycopilot · 2022-01-30T13:18:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Puzzleheaded-Lab-165 · 2022-01-30T14:08:38+00:00

The common denominator is you tried your best to make your relationships work and SO cheats. You feel stupid for allowing it to happen even though it was out of your control. The cost pain you feel is wore than the benefit feelings from finding a good person who most likely will not cheat. The experience teaches you to not trust, look for flaws, weaknesses and liability the opposite sex cloaked in red flags. instead of complementing you the opposite sex becomes toxic to you. Welcome to purple or red pill.

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-01-30T15:34:17+00:00

Just happened to me. Mother of my child cheated.

Does that mean I hate an entire gender? No. Does that mean I will avoid relationships until I can fix myself? Yes.

izzzy12k · 2022-01-30T17:28:21+00:00

My wife of 20 years had started cheating on me, "over the fear of missing out" which somehow translated into missing out on sleeping with other men.. She started with the lies and then gaslighted me until the facts could no longer be hidden. At that point she just didn't hide it anymore. She knew there was nothing I could do to stop her.. All I could do is watch her leave, knowing she was going on dates.. while I stayed home with the kids.. it was horrible.

Yeah, I hated women for a while.. but I got past that phase..

I have yet to meet a woman who's true about her intentions and doesn't ghost or is actually single when they match with me on OLD.

I don't blame all women for this, but it's been over 5 years of nothing but the same thing.. Yet, I still hold out and have hope of meeting someone who is real.

chalkandapples · 2022-01-31T05:51:52+00:00

I never had my heart broken. I have never had men dealing with me in bad faith I think, I had plenty that weren't interested in dating me because I had certain boundaries, but no one was malicious.

Ok-Wafer2292 · 2022-01-31T10:22:07+00:00

The woman I decided to get sober for and gave all I had to make the relationship slowly over time lost interest in me and I still don’t know why except for sighting she needed to heal herself after we’d made plans to get married and have a family. That one hurt than getting divorced.

iamprosciutto · 2022-01-31T22:01:09+00:00

I had my first ex rip my heart out over the phone during high school. Turns out I was her rebound after her parents made her stop dating the guy she really wanted to be with. One of her friends basically told me that she was seeing him while we were together too. I followed her around at lunch like a dumb puppy while she told me about her rekindling things with the dude she really wanted. I almost had a panic attack when she told me they had sex, and I made the decision to cut her out of my life on the walk back to Italian class that day. My 2nd ex was very manipulative and basically whittled away my friends and family until I just had her. I eventually moved away, went on a mostly self-imposed dry spell for about a year and a half while I wrapped my head around what the last 3 years had been. I had casual flings with a couple of nice girls after a while, but then I found out that I was "the other guy" with a girl I was seeing. I took another break from ladies, spent time with friends, and eventually met my current partner on tinder of all things. 4 years later, we are happily engaged with a reasonably exciting life, personal and mutual goals, and a pretty good sex life.

Getting bitter after heartbreak is just a limit you put on yourself with no real purpose. Dust yourself off, heal, and keep trying

Suck-Less · 2022-02-01T09:57:57+00:00

If you haven’t had your heart broken, your probably a sociopath or a psychopath. People seldom live up to your expectations.

ChadThundagaCock · 2022-01-30T00:30:47+00:00

I did at 22. When she walked out, I collapsed to the floor and balled my eyes out. After I got back up, I wiped my eyes off, stood up straight and vowed never to let a girl do that to me ever again. I then found the red pill shortly after.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2022-01-29T23:33:21+00:00

My heart is broken because i've never had the chance to get it broken in the first place.

ruboyuri · 2022-01-29T23:57:27+00:00

I can’t imagine how unbearable I’d be if I hadn’t

Thank god for experience and perspective

MrMushySauce · 2022-01-30T00:47:44+00:00

I don't like that you're trying to use it as a "way to explain why we're on this sub" because I started looking at TRP/PP/etc type content long before this--and I don't "hate women," either. However:

Yeah. LTR of 4 years, ended by being blocked and ghosted via text message on a random day while long distance (a long distance that was supposed to be closed very quickly but she kept pushing back further and further). There were aspects to where it wasn't "the perfect relationship," but the way it ended really fucked my whole life up

NephilimXXXX · 2022-01-30T00:27:18+00:00

I had a girlfriend a number of years ago who I really liked. Was with her for a little under a year. The last half of it involved me finding out more and more about her lying and cheating on me. Eventually figured out she cheated on me with four other guys, including a friend of mine, and she was telling these other guys that she loved them. I don't think there was ever a period in our relationship where she wasn't cheating with at least one guy. I broke up with her, but my anger at her was a 10 out of 10 for years. I'm still angry at her, but not at a level 10.

I don't believe most women are like her. However, I've had plenty of rejection from women that I do not believe I deserved. My annoyance with women comes more from that experience, rather than my experience with my terrible ex-girlfriend. Also, I'm not an in incel or anything. I do date and sleep with women, but the good (smart, attractive) women who would be a good match seem to always reject me. I end up hooking up with women who I don't want to date. Or date women that I'm only mildly attracted to. I get really tired of having good interactions with attractive women only to have them refuse to return my text messages. Getting my hopes up over and over, and then having them ruined is traumatic.

logiauser · 2022-01-30T00:52:04+00:00

My heart broke, not in one relationship, when I looked back over all my relationships and realized that women are ruthless and disloyal.

I don’t hate women at all; it’s generally not in their control (it’s nature). If every man in the country were wiped out in a war, the vast majority of women would move on to the victors. Other way around, the guys would follow them into hell.

It’s sort of the same realization that human beings are just another type of chimp.

2022-01-30T01:38:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Perseus_the_Bold · 2022-01-29T23:17:02+00:00

If you mean by a specific person in a very specific relationship with said person then my answer is no.

That, however, doesn't mean my heart wasn't broken. And I mean truly broken. Not that Megan Fox/Henry Cavill spiel you mentioned.

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-01-29T22:48:08+00:00

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2022-01-29T22:50:46+00:00

Never. I was always the one breaking hearts. I’m really avoidant and I don’t get attached to people easily. I actually don’t experience emotions the way other people do. The only thing close to heart break I experience is my rejection sensitive dysphoria and feeling of inferiority if I’m not constantly proving to myself that I can make girls like me

manfrom-nantucket · 2022-01-29T22:52:50+00:00

I gladly dodged that bullet.

sarkington · 2022-01-29T23:44:19+00:00

Anyone with a minimal social life has been koo koo over someone who didn’t feel the same

I am thankful, because I would have been a nightmare, judgmental, unempathetic human without it

throwawayforBDSMques · 2022-01-30T00:24:24+00:00

My only relationship was over sexting if you could even call it that, we met over a sexting site and did all the cringy stuff for around 6 months but I got ghosted outta no where before valentines day, probably someone asked her out

weirdly I am not mad at her but at least I got a text back man, I dont hate women, I just find them unreasonable on certain issues

beeguy727 · 2022-01-30T00:33:07+00:00

I’ve been led on. That is to make me think that she was interested in me just to find out she was just using me. That experience shattered the blue pill facade that had been presented to me since birth. It took time to shed my fantasied beliefs of women and learn who and what they really are and many times I wish that I could still believe that females have the human capabilities of empathy and love.

HOLYREGIME · 2022-01-29T23:13:03+00:00

Once if you’re lucky. Speaking of Megan Fox. She’s the definition of a woman who has kids with the BB for their benefit then went back to sleep with the alpha.

Sagittarius_AAAAA · 2022-01-30T02:56:40+00:00

Yes. I got destroyed by two feminists when I was younger. They were just toying with me, trying to undermine me. Now I hate everything to do with feminism. Feminism in the real world is synonymous with extreme moral corruption (some feminists are open about this).

Insidious-Sid · 2022-01-30T00:05:21+00:00

After my divorce I tried to put back together all the pieces but when I was done I realised a few pieces were missing, and probably always would be.

Been single ever since.

Like the great prophet Steven Tyler sang:

There's a hole in my soul

That's been killing me forever

It's the place where the garden never grows

There's a hole in my soul

Yeah, I should have known better

'Cause your love's like a thorn without a rose

Doing to recover? Not making the same mistake ever again.

Chose wisely they say. And I most certainly am.

This time, I choose nobody.

Ex is on Team Single now too. We laugh about it.

AutoModerator · 2022-01-29T22:45:35+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-01-29T23:32:10+00:00

I have, just one real time and I'll admit I was in a bad space for a few days afterwards but she was honest with me and we ended things about as amicably as you could and we're still cool to this day, it didn't change my perception of relationships or gender Dynamics or anything like that, it just was a hard reminder that people change circumstances change and not everything last forever

ogsimpology · 2022-01-30T00:15:22+00:00

Well, I had once. Pretty much the reason I understood looks would get me nowhere if my character doesn't attract a person.

Actually accidentally changed my life for the better.

nobodysomebodyanybdy · 2022-01-30T00:35:16+00:00

Nope. Though my current partner is the only person I’ve ever known who I’d be terrified of losing.

Phuxsea · 2022-01-30T01:07:26+00:00

Honestly, I don't think it has happened to me. I've only experienced disappointment. I have more pressing things to worry about.

nessaea-blue · 2022-01-30T01:17:08+00:00

i did all of the breaking up in my relationships

juksayer · 2022-01-30T01:17:38+00:00

Ex-fiance cheated and left.

I'm married now and more successful than my ex.

infinitofluxo · 2022-01-30T01:19:18+00:00

I've been heart broken 3 times in 4 years

lonely_mixtape · 2022-01-30T01:30:17+00:00

I have. It's kind of insane how deep it cuts. I've had some awful stuff done to me by people I wasn't close to, but that doesn't even compare to being abandoned by the person you care for most in the world.

Initial_Chemical7121 · 2022-01-30T01:45:31+00:00

Yes, and I will never fully recover. Sent me to the ward for about a month. I’m not angry though, it wasn’t his fault.

Admirable_Elk_965 · 2022-01-30T01:59:58+00:00

I did. Twice. Both in high school.

First time I was going into freshman year there was a girl I was texting that summer. She knew I liked her and her friends did too. She and I hung out only a few times, mostly during big events in our town like 4th of July. Anyway, about two weeks before school started she and her friends came to my house on four wheelers, and she said she really liked me and wanted to know if I did too. When I replied with I do like her, she said that she only liked me as friend and they drove off laughing. I remember I kind of fell over on my driveway, threw up, went inside, and cried for like three days straight.

The second time I was a junior, and there was a different girl I was talking to. Once again we talked all summer but didn’t hangout much because we were both busy with summer sports. Obviously that was a BS excuse but I wanted to give her the benefit of a doubt. Anyway she said she was really interested in getting to know me better and I asked her out to my schools homecoming. She went a different school. She said yes and after I got all the details with the group we were going with I was all set. I was on top of the world. Easily the best week of practice I ever had. That Friday was one of my best games too. So the next day I was pumped. Ready to take on the world. Our plan was to meet at this local restaurant for lunch, then we’d car pool to our day date, go back to the restaurant for dinner, drive home and ourselves and then the guys would pick the girls up for pictures before going to the dance. I was super excited. This was going to be my first date and first high school dance. She never showed up. I waited in the restaurant with everyone, waiting. I texted her, nothing. I went outside to call her. Nothing. She didn’t show up. She didn’t say anything. She had blocked me on everything. I didn’t know what to do, so I just drove home and cried. That next week at practice might have been my worst week. Since then I’ve never bothered trying to date

Delusionaldally · 2022-01-30T02:28:45+00:00

I’ve been heartbroken. It actually felt painful and I slept in bed for more than 12hrs. a day, stopped having out with friends and became depressed but I don’t hate men. I think if you hate a gender it’s not really relevant to heartache mainly entitlement. I’m still not over it and everything I try to date they know about him but I guess you just have to take it one day at a time. Some days are good and some days are bad

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-01-30T02:54:26+00:00

Twice

The second time was a result of the damage done by the first one

Third times the charm, right lads?

elidiomenezes · 2022-01-30T03:30:09+00:00

I had. One too many times. Never again.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-01-30T03:33:52+00:00

I've had my heart broken twice, by both genders. Both I played a significant role.

The first, she was significantly mentally ill and psychologically manipulative and I often lashed out in verbally abusive insults toward her after. After various suicide attempts, the first almost successful follow her swallowing a bottle of pills because I left. The toxicity didn't stop there, as she committed fraud then weaseled her way back in.

t3kwytch3r · 2022-01-30T04:00:06+00:00

Before i even read the post, yep.

And tbh, it was a good thing.

Having your heat 'broken' so young kinda preps you for reality.

totally___bear · 2022-01-30T04:34:13+00:00

This girl I liked personality and looks wise I took to the movies twice and over a 2 year period became close friends so I thought she liked me

lesbian

Cant_stop_wont_st0p · 2022-01-30T04:41:15+00:00

Found redpill before I had even had my first kiss. Been knowing how to avoid that heartbreak shi ever since 😎

jonathaninfresno · 2022-01-30T04:49:03+00:00

It toke ten years

JJWalt1993 · 2022-01-30T05:29:41+00:00

Found out that I was the side dude to a married woman that I was madly in love with... ouch.

lowlifedougal · 2022-01-30T05:32:30+00:00

every man on any RP online iteration has had their heart broken at some point hence “who hurt you”

HannibalsProtege · 2022-01-30T07:03:22+00:00

Yeah, I was abandoned by my Dad. Worst thing I've EVER felt. It's made me feel like Bane's monologue in The Dark Knight Rises, yet I've never tried to go back to the light. The dark kept me, and held my secrets dear; the dark never abandoned me.

wtffellification · 2022-01-30T07:20:45+00:00

At least 5 times. 2 out of those happened when I was like 12 years old

Girls can really be vicious man

Markymark47 · 2022-01-30T08:16:39+00:00

I had one of my first gfs choose another guy over me. I’ve decided to be more interesting and be a better person. I don’t think it’ll be the final improvement as sad as it sounds.

fikus_the_old · 2022-01-30T08:53:58+00:00

If it isnt 95% of us, we're counting wrong

happybunday · 2022-01-30T09:16:46+00:00

what's heart?

Tasstheass · 2022-01-30T09:25:18+00:00

Twice. A bunch of mental manipulation and making me feel like I was victimizing myself. When in reality I was in the right knowing I was being treated like shit. It’s hard, I don’t wanna lose faith in love, but it’s hard to ever feel like I’ll make a true lasting connection with someone when I thought I did before.

BloofGoober · 2022-01-30T09:49:09+00:00

I've had my heart broken. Not even just women; generally I've watched all of my hopes and dreams die. I've tried the self-improvement game, I've tried to put my best foot forward, I've moved towards the goals, and I've seen the progress. None of it ever mattered. It wasn't meant to be.

I used to believe in the bootstraps, and I genuinely believe I tried harder than most, but ultimately the way you were born affects more than anyone likes to admit.

In terms of women, I've never had a relationship; but when you fall in love, it is what it is. I was a loser back then; and though I suppose I still am and always will be, I know how to maintain some shred of dignity now.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2022-01-30T10:34:37+00:00

Me. Multiple times. I've decided not to do it again.

r/Marriageisntworthit

Jakes1967 · 2022-01-30T11:11:44+00:00

Heartbreak, we've all had it, some definitely worse than others.

My brothers have probably had it worse than most.

callofthesupramonte · 2022-01-30T11:22:32+00:00

You really don't want to know the story of my life... Turns out, I don't hate anyone. I only see you all from afar, study you and observe you. I've become extremely cynical over time and I defend my position on pessimism and existentialism from every attack, while also being open to new ideas. I'm sorry, but I study science and I can't stop looking at things with a "scientific" eye.

BeCivilAlright · 2022-01-30T11:31:44+00:00

I get blocked by women online just for saying " Hi ", whereas other guys don't (confirmed with an OLD experiment).

Topfet30 · 2022-01-30T14:17:32+00:00

Maybe I should feel better about it never happening to me but then I realise that it never happened because I haven't had a chance for that to happen because of my looks. That makes me feel worse

Topiavonleere · 2022-01-30T14:32:26+00:00

.

Literally everyone I came across in "my life", and ever since then I have worked on distancing myself from people as much as I can.

My family who abused me in my childhood and control everything in my life.

My ex who used me first year in college (yeap, she feigned every laugh and every smile just to let me do her assignments and stuff. I was very naive back then.)

My other (online) ex who was inherently insensitive. She would pick up fights for no reason and then play the victim card.

Reisiluu · 2022-01-30T15:24:09+00:00

It's never happened to me thankfully. Part luck, part upbringing and part effort, I think. There were times we could have broken things off but chose not to. I'm happier for it and have much less baggage than some people my age. A lot of people never love someone like they loved their first and I still have him.

Confident_Spinach967 · 2022-01-30T15:47:06+00:00

Once, I stop dating for a few years after that. I decided to move on after coming to terms that we weren’t compatible for the long term. I’m working on myself and dating somebody else

Fickle_Razzmatazz392 · 2022-01-30T16:18:18+00:00

Just once. It was my fault though.

FieldSignificant3393 · 2022-01-30T16:23:49+00:00

Duh. Everyone. It's a necessary thing. Toughens you up in a cruel world.

MrCrestfallen · 2022-01-30T17:35:47+00:00

Yeah I'm 19, but one when I was 17 and one from October I'm still getting over.

First heart break I got fit, quit porn for 9 months and started making money. This heart break was prolly one of the best things to happen to me.

Second, got a new girl who I love and met a bunch of new friends in uni who I party with every weekend. I also gained weight from the partying 😂.

2022-01-30T17:55:55+00:00

I felt something not sure if it was heartbreak. I was working at a hardware store where I met a 21yr old she immediately took a liking to me and I became drunk from the attention she gave me, it was a first time A woman had shown any attraction towards me.

Long story short when a new girl came in that had something I didn’t T&A, she was bi, she tossed me aside like a unwanted Christmas gift.

My views on women went dark for a time but, after a few years The hatred imploded into self-hatred for my inferior genes and accepted that it was only right that she did what she did, why stick with mediocre when you can have better.

Caio_dos_Hack · 2022-01-30T20:16:53+00:00

2 times in the last two years

sunkized · 2022-01-30T21:47:50+00:00

Yep. All the rejection. I've also rejected women though. Woman I talked to for 3 months. I knew it was too good to be true. Day before I was going to drive out and see her she admitted to being married with 3 kids. This happened again last year. Wtf is wrong with people?

ThrowawayYAYAY2002 · 2022-01-30T22:40:24+00:00

I have. And I'm still devastated by it.

Happened around 18 months ago now, but we haven't seen each other in 6 months.

What I have done to try and "Recover" is visit new places by myself or with friends and avoid place where me and her went, fuck lots of other women, throw myself into my hobbies and interests, grind away at my purpose etc. Just basic survival mixed with letting time do it's thing.

I don't think you fully recover. You've lost a piece of your heart, and you have to live with what you have left. And unless it's some kind of heated breakup, you still have love for them.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-01-31T00:57:27+00:00

I’ve never had my heart break when it comes to relationships because I’ve never been on a date.

However, when it comes to supposed friendships, that’s another story. I’ve been betrayed and taken advantage of so many times by people who I initially thought were my friends.

But they were never my friends… they just saw a special needs student who was an easy target…

Aldabruzzo · 2022-01-31T17:27:32+00:00

I have. Several times. Once because I caused the breakup.

Title	How many people here have had their heart broken?
Author	OfCatandPagan
Upvotes	180
Comments	476
Date	January 29, 2022 10:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sftvig/how_many_people_here_have_had_their_heart_broken/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-many-people-here-have-had-their-heart-broken.1099015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099015

Comments