If "Being An Asshole" Was All It Took To Get Women, Why Are So Many Assholes Single?

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-02-20T16:04:37+00:00

If "Being An Asshole" Was All It Took To Get Women, Why Are So Many Assholes Single?

Assholes don't get women. Good-looking assholes (commonly referred to as "bad boys") get to f*ck all the women.

The same is true for the bipolar Princess whose daddy fulfills her every wish. She only gets to throw temper tantrums at men if she's hot because then there's sex with genetically superior woman on the table and men will tolerate the pain & agony to maybe get into her pants.

belongsinagarbagecan · 2024-02-20T17:35:07+00:00

I think the position, at least in my experience, would be better stated as:

"Why doesn't being a complete asshole exclude you from these relationships with women."

Won't speak for everyone though. That's my take.

GhostofCamus · 2024-02-20T15:51:08+00:00

People have it backwards. Success makes the asshole, not the other way around.

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2024-02-20T17:39:02+00:00

It’s not that women love assholes, it’s that only attractive and successful men can be assholes with women and still be successful. Same way that lovely women can get away with being crazy. No one is interested in a fat and frumpy ass of either sex.

AngeCruelle · 2024-02-20T16:34:19+00:00

PPD rule of thumb:

"Asshole" refers to a very specific outgoing, risk-taking brand of asshole. Introverted asshole losers are not taken into consideration. Hm. Anyway.

"Nice" refers to an extremely boring, introverted, doormat kind of nice. Nice, outgoing men with healthy boundaries are not taken into consideration.

obviousredflag · 2024-02-20T15:29:19+00:00

Niceguys think that women want niceguys, So when they see that men who are not nice are successful with women while they are not, they get angry for "being lied to".

The whole issue with niceness and assholes is solved by this matrix from hoe_math:

Niceness gives points exclusively on the good guy axis. But without points on the bad boy axis, a man can only ever hope to get into the friendzone. THe bad boy axis is what determines sexual attraction and with 100% bad boy (can include asshole behavior) and 0% good guy points on the axis, women are still sexually attracted to those men and have sex with them. They don't marry them however.

"asshole" and "niceness" are just parts of each axis, not their entirety. Asshole is just a side effect of masculine traits that women are into sexually/attracted for mating reasons.

Anyone who is drawn to abusers has mental health issues and/or trauma. Taking those examples as "women like assholes" is stupid. Women want 100% bad guy + 100% good guy in one person. That is the ideal long term mate. And to marry, they rather have 100% good guy, and just 80% bad guy, than the other way round.

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webernicke · 2024-02-20T18:57:34+00:00

1.) What does Asshole Actually mean?

"Asshole" means exactly what it means in common usage. From Wikitionary:

asshole (plural assholes)(US)

(vulgar, derogatory) A jerk; an inappropriately or objectionably mean, inconsiderate, contemptible, obnoxious, intrusive, stupid, and/or rude person.

2.) If being an asshole is all it takes, why do the men who complain about it the most not just... use this fail-safe cheat code to also succeed?

They sometimes do. At other times, they'd rather not stoop to that level, to preserve thier own sense of morality.

3.) If a woman LIKES a man specifically because he's an asshole, how is she NOT also an asshole? I've seen men complain that "otherwise good women are attracted to assholes" but I don't understand how a woman can be "good" if she likes watching a man be an asshole to people.

Attraction isn't constrained by socially-constructed moral purity.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-02-20T18:57:43+00:00

what's the #1 desired trait? Confidence. What do assholes mostly have in abundance? Confidence. It isn't that every confident person is an asshole. But there's probably considerable overlap, with various combinations of the two. That can be hard to sort out for a naive person who is used to thinking of confidence as a prerequisite for attractive masculinity.

RIchardjCranium · 2024-02-20T19:53:39+00:00

Tall, good-looking asshole: alpha behavior.

Short, ugly asshole: overcompensating narcissist.

Zabadoodude · 2024-02-20T16:39:56+00:00

Many "nice" guys misinterpret any assertiveness or playful teasing as "being an asshole". They lack the social skills to emulate this without coming across as an actual asshole.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-02-20T18:47:10+00:00

When I think of assholes who got women, they were fun to be around much of the time but their jerkish times were more frequent than other men and also worse.

On assholes who got no women (just as common), they were grumpy and complaining 24/7 without much of a fun side.

KayRay1994 · 2024-02-20T15:46:29+00:00

an important thing to factor in is what these men call assholes are usually any kind of confident masculine man - are a number of these men assholes? i don’t doubt it - but more often than not the men who say this are speaking from a position of envy, as well as moral righteousness

BoogersAndSugar · 2024-02-20T18:49:18+00:00

Because they're not good looking enough for anyone to tolerate their behavior. Naive guys think they can get women by behaving like that good looking guy, but they don't understand that the same behavior which works "for" a good looking guy works against a plain looking guy. Women don't actually "want" assholes, but many of them will TOLERATE shitty behavior in men they're sufficiently physically attracted to.

8won6 · 2024-02-20T21:12:30+00:00

Sorry but, most assholes i've seen (edit: this came out weird) almost always have girlfriends and wives. It's actually kind of a mindfuck if you're like bluepilled and unaware of things.

abaxeron · 2024-02-21T11:54:31+00:00

https://gwern.net/doc/genetics/selection/2014-yao.pdf

"in a review of the literature Ellis and Walsh found that 50 out of 51 studies investigating associations between mating behavior and criminality reported a positive relationship between criminal behavior and number of sex partners (Ellis & Walsh, 1997). Beaver, Wright, and Walsh (2008) used a gene-based approach and showed an association between number of sex partners and violent criminal behavior through a common genetic pathway engaging the dopamine transporter gene (DAT1) (Beaver et al., 2008)... Further, a British cohort study found that the 10% most antisocial men father 27% of the children (Jaffee, Moffitt, Caspi, & Taylor, 2003)."

Assuming that only asshole women give asshole men the time of the day requires to also assume that there must be several times more asshole women than asshole men.

So, either there are several times more asshole women than asshole men,

or being an asshole, for a man, is an independent net positive when trying to attract a woman.

Have your pick.

_Corb_ · 2024-02-20T15:20:27+00:00

1) Assholes are those men that can do whatever they want and keep getting girls.
2) It is not all what it takes. Women need to be attracted to you in the first place.
3) She can be the the most nice girl in the world and still be in love (or be attracted) by an asshole. It's not incompatible at all.

Safinated · 2024-02-20T15:53:45+00:00

Because it’s not true and is whining about how being a decent human isn’t enough to buy sex

John_Oakman · 2024-02-20T15:41:13+00:00

Asshole behavior pays for itself, in the sense that many derive pleasure from inflicting pain/suffering/misery onto others. Whether they find successful at all soon becomes a side quest (if it's even given a thought).

Examples of this can be found even on this subreddit, as some have openly admitted the pleasure they derived from causing distress/anger/whatever to others.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-02-20T15:52:16+00:00

It's not all it takes

BlueParsec · 2024-02-20T16:23:49+00:00

Attraction does not imply compatibility in a long term relationship. Just cause the asshole can get in the pants of a nice guy's girlfriend doesn't mean she would leave her beta bux relationship for him.

I would add that most assholes are single because they don't sacrifice their own time to make women happy (this is what it takes to be called an asshole nowdays). The reason they can do this without issues is because they know they can have a steady supply of sex regardless if they're in a relationship or not.

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-02-20T16:23:53+00:00

The issue with the "asshole" conversation is that just because someone is an asshole to people around them doesn't mean they treat their romantic partners the same way.

People use the example of the bully jock who picks on the nerd as a successful asshole while forgetting the jock actually acts nice and loving with his girlfriend.

So the real question is, does being an asshole TO WOMEN make them more attracted to you?

HumpsyDumpsy · 2024-02-20T16:54:14+00:00

Why Are So Many Assholes Single?

Maybe because you're discovering not all women are the same, nor desire the same type of behavior from a man. I know 0 women who want an 'asshole' of a man. Many value, gentlemen.

Dazzling-Ad-8161 · 2024-02-20T17:42:45+00:00

I haven't seen any asshole that's single

Commercial_Tea_8185 · 2024-02-20T18:04:58+00:00

Because being an asshole isnt an effective strategy to get people to like u just in general, let alone dating

favabeansandwine · 2024-02-20T18:11:31+00:00

Be attractive
Don't be unattractive
Everything else is a bonus

Being an asshole works when you're good looking because it's very hard to differentiate between "confidence bordering on arrogance" and "just an asshole".

Why do women get repelled by nice guys? Because nice guys are being nice to compensate for the fact they have nothing else going on.

"Well, I don't do anything that women find attractive so maybe I can just be really nice."

Yeah don't do that. That won't work. It actually has the opposite effect.

And I do know a couple of SUPER NICE 40-year old virgins. One just turned 50. I shit you not.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-02-20T18:35:24+00:00

They're single because they have no reason to commit. They can play the field so they selfishly take advantage of it.

The men that are unsuccessful generally aren't jerks despite what women love to claim. Otherwise they would have no problem exploiting the cheat code. Everyone these days knows women aren't attracted to nice, so what's the benefit of pretending to be nice?

Sad-Tadpole-5414 · 2024-02-20T18:59:50+00:00

Because people who stereotype an entire gender are assholes themselves without being aware of it, and it ends up biting them in the ass.

flipsidetroll · 2024-02-20T19:51:35+00:00

Gosh there are suddenly men with common sense, reality testing and critical thinking skills posting really good observations here. This is the second one in two days. Trp’s toddlers are going to be throwing their toys out of their cots at you, because you dare question their toddler thinking ie women like assholes and that’s that.

The simple truth is there is no black and white answer to this. And nobody goes for someone who’s totally one dimensional to them. No one knows what goes on in anyone else’s relationships, regardless of what you think you observe. Attraction is made up of many things and is totally subjective.

It’s good to see common sense here. And asking questions instead of assuming you know exactly what people think. We can never know what people think because we all have different experiences. It irks me constantly when I see redpillers telling me what I think and feel. I just become a sarcastic bitch in return, and copy their behaviour. Respect to you for this post.

hellamadthrowaway · 2024-02-20T20:25:21+00:00

Cause they don't commit 🥱 Next

Strange_Public_1897 · 2024-02-20T20:30:35+00:00

You’re confusing asshole with confident guys who are unapologetic themselves.

Assholes are insecure people who hurt others. They are reactive, demanding, needy people who don’t know what to do when dating. They constantly operate from a false sense of self and are just the type of guys women can’t stand.

Confident people may accidentally step on others toes with their thoughts and opinion, but they are go-getters, proactive, actually don’t apologize for what they want.

These are the guys at work who are constantly asking for a raise and also get job promotions more frequently. You don’t see that with assholes as those guys are quietly pissed off at the guy constantly getting promotora and raises. He just hadn’t figured out that guy is GOING AFTER WHAT HE WANTS UNAPOLOGETICALLY!

Women are attracted to men who are certain about themselves, who take charge, who lead in dating. They find men who don’t apologize for what they want cause it’s attractive instead of guy in the fence, confused, constantly unsure of himself.

OP, gain confidence, get more self assured in who you are, stop second guessing how you come across to other men, take rejection better, and go after in life what you want in work/career for practice.

Then watch how women interact with you and you will be amazed at how much of a difference being self assured and confident appears vs unsure and insecure.

FYI? Confident people walk differently into a room that insecure people don’t do that can be easily seen in first impressions.

Pay attention to how those guys command a room by just walking in.

Women do this too who are confident as well, it’s why you quickly notice them over other women who walk in.

Glass_Bucket · 2024-02-20T20:43:44+00:00

Extroverted assholes with confidence get women. There’s a difference between being a cocky assertive confident asshole and a meek, timid incel who's just a dick to everyone

cloverqueen2 · 2024-02-20T20:47:50+00:00

We dont want 'assholes' we want strong confident men that can handle things when shit goes down. That confidence of 'I got this, I got you' 'you're safe with me'. That if some bad guy walked in the door they could absolutely fk them up and protect their woman. They command respect and they give it in return, by their presence and their words. The ones that someone (including their woman- tho I would never do this myself) wont dare talk down to or a man who can put someone in their place if they do. Thats not an asshole, thats being a man who commands respect, but is someone whos actions make them someone worth respecting too.

AidsVictim · 2024-02-21T00:43:39+00:00

1.) What does Asshole Actually mean?

2.) If being an asshole is all it takes, why do the men who complain about it the most not just... use this fail-safe cheat code to also succeed?

This is basically the same question so I'll just combine them. Men that are socially dominant based on social aggression are the "assholes" that are typically successful with women. They subtly or explicitly denigrate other men (or just whoever in general) to establish and maintain their social hierarchy. Usually the guy has something to back it up - looks, fighting ability/badboy, social clout, or even just lots of confidence. Lots of women are attracted to social dominance (this type in specific and more generally). Lots of said women also make excuses for her guy being an asshole - "He's just joking", "Don't take it so seriously", "He's not really like that" etc.

If an asshole is just a rude person and not able to assert social dominance or has nothing to back it up then they're just a regular asshole who get's nothing from it.

3.) If a woman LIKES a man specifically because he's an asshole, how is she NOT also an asshole? I've seen men complain that "otherwise good women are attracted to assholes" but I don't understand how a woman can be "good" if she likes watching a man be an asshole to people.

The same way some men who are otherwise alright guys might make excuse for their girlfriend with big boobs who fucks them a lot being a bitch. Is the guy an asshole for excusing their behaviour? To a degree yes but it's not that black and white.

apc4455 · 2024-02-21T08:17:54+00:00

"women are attracted to assholes" - They are not attracted to the fact they are assholes. They are initially attracted to other traits assholes usually also have such as confidence, assertiveness, extraversion, high-energy, non-neediness.

"women hate kind men" - They do not hate kind men. Just that sometimes and some kind men have overlapping traits that are associated to be negative such as lack of confidence, being shy, insecure, being too pleasing, needy.

In these two scenarios the first is more attractive than the second.

Ideally they'd like someone who is a combination of the two: assertive, extraverted, confident and kind at the same time.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-02-21T14:33:35+00:00

From my experience: when you show nice guy beta traits when a woman is expecting you to be a bad boy, she will lose attraction. She was expecting one thing (that she had a primal lust for) and got the opposite (which dried up the panties).

Men with some awareness will clue in on the fact that women want you to fit some ideal - for some men that ideal is the asshole (bad boy), and for other men that ideal is the agreeable pay piggy.

Icy-Sprinkles-638 · 2024-02-20T15:29:42+00:00

Because it's not. You also have to be good looking. Assholes who aren't good looking are "creeps". If there is one and only one lesson to learn about women it's that they're even more shallow than the stereotypes from the old days portray them as. Women value looks above all else and second place is not even close.

toasterchild · 2024-02-20T16:50:50+00:00

Confidence= asshole to people who have very little confidence.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-02-20T15:29:24+00:00

The one “advantage” of an asshole is that they won’t have any problems continuing to be aggressive and assertive. This could be from lack of self awareness (literally AITAH where they have no idea why people are saying they are) or they don’t give a shit and so why would they stop when they don’t feel they have done anything wrong?

So just by using blunt force of constantly pushing and asking and pressuring and harassing, there is a chance at some point someone will cave/be too intimidated/too scared to say no/be too clueless and they will end up with a partner. (In what will end up being a toxic relationship)

That doesn’t mean it’s very effective. It just means: the person constantly trying will have a better chance thru sheer volume, than people that don’t try or don’t try very often.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-02-20T15:16:11+00:00

Because they’re ugly.

Only Chad gets away with it.

classicslayer · 2024-02-20T15:55:50+00:00

Assholes get women In spite of being assholes not because they are assholes. If you are an ugly guy that has nothing going for him it doesnt matter what you are.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-02-20T16:46:03+00:00

What does asshole actually mean?

Here, it seems to mean “man who is attractive and/or outgoing.” Some of these men may really be assholes, but certainly not all. I think this all stems from men realizing that being nice alone doesn’t get women and other traits tend to be more important, which is true. But then it gets twisted into black and white thinking, that women actually want assholes because they’re assholes and that being nice is a negative. And all the men who are assholes and not successful, and all the men who are nice and successful, get ignored because it doesn’t fit the narrative.

People also have a bias of thinking they are nice regardless of if they’re actually any nicer than other people, so if a guy isn’t successful, “well women must not like nice guys.” That can be a way of coping.

Last but not least, I think some people see assertiveness as asshole-ishness. Which yes, if someone is assertive, it’s going to be a lot more obvious if they’re a jerk. But not all assertive people are jerks and not all reserved people are nice, so once again we have the black and white thinking issue.

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-02-20T15:41:09+00:00

1.) An asshole in the context of dating, is a man who exhibits a large amount of narcissistic or even downright dark triad traits that are perceived as confident, assertive, dominant, and exciting.

2.) It’s because most men are taught to be benevolent towards women since childhood, especially in advent of the discourse surrounding rape culture, MeToo, and 3rd Wave feminism. It takes a lot willpower to be an asshole if you’re aren’t narcissistic.

3.) I wouldn’t argue women dating “assholes” are asshole themselves, but argue about poor discernment that affecting the behaviors and virtues of the genders. Speaking from personal experience and having female friends, they find men who are assholes as assertive and confident if they’re attractive enough.

Usually assholes aren’t tied down in long term relationships, but they are usually the side dude, work-husbands, etc.

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-02-20T18:44:48+00:00

The problem is that the single assholes have convinced themselves that theyre not assholes. They have a sense of entitlement and that fairness is just when they get what they want.

rma5690 · 2024-02-20T15:31:35+00:00

1) Asshole = Extroverted anti-social behavior. 2) They are introverted. They cannot nor will comfortably replicate the extroverted part of the extroverted anti-social behavior. If they are agreeable, then they can't do the anti-social part either. 3) They usually don't like them specifically for the anti-social behavior. They occasionally choose them from a pool of extroverted people, which includes the assholes and excludes introverts. Because of female passivity in the courtship process, the introverted and especially agreeable portion of the population is not even on the radar. If the women in question isn't being approached by the high value(Extroverted Pro-social) man, then they only have assholes to interact with as far as they know.

MarBitt · 2024-02-20T15:38:13+00:00

3.) If a woman LIKES a man specifically because he's an asshole, how is she NOT also an asshole?

Victim - predator relationship. Or the "I can fix him" mentality. Of course, it doesn't have to be this extreme. It's like asking how a woman who is attracted to dominant men is not dominant herself.

People are sometimes attracted to the opposite of their own qualities. So an overly nice and kind woman who is abused for that can be attracted to a man who is an asshole just because she hopes they balance each other out as a couple.

Also in a harsh environment, one of the survival strategies is to choose the strong demon and start making sacrifices to it and make it a protective god. This is also the reason why people in unstable times tend to vote for a "strong leader", in fact often directly a dictator. They know he's an asshole, but they hope he'll protect them from other assholes.

63daddy · 2024-02-20T16:39:55+00:00

Being a bad boy or negging in response to shit thrown at one is very different from just bring an asshole.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-02-20T18:02:44+00:00

"Nice guys" call somebody "asshole" if than man understands what he wants and not shy to go for it. If you're assertive then you're an asshole for "nice guy" because that's what "nice guys" don't have. Secret here is that being nice and being assertive aren't mutually exclusive.

Siliconmage76 · 2024-02-20T18:31:10+00:00

Once again... Women respond to confident, outgoing and assertive men. Guess what? Most outgoing, confident and assetive men will be perceived as an asshole or a narcissist by a man with low self esteem, introversion and no social skills. Why?

Because confident men play "rough". We banter and tease which can come across as "mean" or "assholish" to an outsider looking into the convo. We know how to be physical with a woman in a socially acceptable way. To the outsider it looks like we're rudely pawing all over her. "Why does she like it so much?" the frustrated chump asks...

To your average introvert, confident men break all the rules and get the girl and think it's looks or money when really, it's the fact he's confident enough in his own abilities as a man the rules simply don't apply to him.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2024-02-20T15:45:10+00:00

Being an asshole means treating women with disdain and a lack of respect
Because being an asshole is not something you can switch on and off. It’s also not ALL it takes.
I don’t even see how this logic makes sense

purplish_possum · 2024-02-20T16:01:04+00:00

Am I an asshole if I treat women exactly the same as I treat men?

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-02-20T17:33:53+00:00

Unsuccessful men usually have this imaginary character of the asshole. The asshole is any guy that isn't them getting with girls they can't get with. He's "Chad" if you will. And it's simply not true. Most guys are typically nice at first then they turn into assholes once they feel like they don't have to put any more effort into a relationship. Or after a few dates let the mask slip or after a few months of talking you realize it's not going anywhere. They are all nice at first.

The assholes don't typically get women. A guy isn't attractive by being an asshole. I do like assertive or honest men that's not an asshole quality. That's just an upfront person.

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-02-20T18:10:03+00:00

You misunderstand. Women don't like assholes. They like hot men. Hot men can be assholes (selfish) because of their high market value.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2024-02-20T20:15:14+00:00

I've said this before --

Most people who are very unpleasant and transparently awful don't do well romantically. Some of them do. They're usually very good at finding partners who either suck as much as they do or (more common tbh) have trauma/mental health issues that make them vulnerable.

If your least pleasant acquaintance is perpetually single, you don't think much of it because that checks out. If your lovely and kind friend has an adoring partner, again, that makes sense. But when your shitty acquaintance has an adoring partner or your lovely kind friend is mooning over a total POS it is striking and memorable. It looks like a pattern because it sticks out, not because it's actually more common than the alternative.

Geselshaft · 2024-02-20T15:34:43+00:00

Nothing wrong with being an asshole, it’s what women deserve.

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MattPayneWrestler · 2024-02-20T15:52:28+00:00

You have to be an asshole with a smile on your face. Assholes who are angry aren’t attractive.

Recording_Important · 2024-02-20T16:01:41+00:00

They are poor ugly assholes

onwheelscrew · 2024-02-20T16:01:47+00:00

It’s more like being an asshole doesn’t preclude attraction as long as they are hot.

Proof_mongol9135 · 2024-02-20T16:11:38+00:00

there are unattractive assholes, poor assholes.

HTML_Novice · 2024-02-20T16:21:55+00:00

There are traits to being an asshole that do help you get laid, but they’re not offending people directly, wel kinda but not only

his_purple_majesty · 2024-02-20T16:23:52+00:00

literally no one said that

uterine_blackmail · 2024-02-20T16:53:05+00:00

Because you need to have physical prerequisites. You can be an asshole and still be ugly.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-02-20T17:35:53+00:00

I’m an asshole. I get women here and there not all of them.

Being an asshole is when you stick by your morals, and you set your boundaries. Just about every woman that I have dated, has stated I am an asshole, because I did not move from my boundaries and clearly defined them during the duration of our relationship.

“Assholes” go for what they want, and aren’t afraid to say no and agree to disagree. Because an asshole doesn’t bend over backwards because someone is a woman and they are pretty, they are automatically an asshole. He is an asshole because he wouldn’t do what I said when I said it without pushback.

Just one example.

Soul_vaccine · 2024-02-20T18:10:06+00:00

Somewhere along the line the lie was spread that ALL male attention is vulgar and potentially violent and predatory.

Some men said “wow, I really don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable or give that impression.”

Other men said “who cares if I make some percentage of women uncomfortable with my approaches, there’s bound to be some who will accept my advances”

It’s all exacerbated by the gaslighting lies about “men shouldn’t approach anywhere” and “men need to be more bold and approach more”

Ostensibly anyone approaching girls in public with romantic or sexual intent is going against the cultural “rule” that women will be default afraid of you and find you creepy.

And yes being an asshole works. I’ve always been handsome and such but I’ve always been self deprecating and honest and humble. As soon as I just started pretending to be confident and assume every girl was interested, brag, show off etc. my success rates went WAY up.

Just gotta read the room. Mature, enlightened babes like the humble nice guy facade. Less mature, less enlightened babes seem to dig the hurry up offense, rakish rogue deal. But it’s not black and white. As with most things, little bit of both is just right.

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2024-02-20T18:29:04+00:00

Good looking assholes get women, but they don't want commitment. Why would they? Having all these options?

harmonica2 · 2024-02-20T19:50:57+00:00

As for the notion that women are only attracted to assholes that are hot, does that mean they are even more attracted to hot guys that are nice and that's a bonus?

AshySlashy3000 · 2024-02-20T21:20:20+00:00

Not Asshoke Enough

boom-wham-slam · 2024-02-20T21:41:43+00:00

Someone who disagrees with women. Doesn't prioritize women. Sometimes can be mean to women. This is what they call an asshole although they may also be an actual asshole jackass.
They don't do this because they are scared to. It's uncomfortable for them. They are conditioned to go into desperation mode when they engage with a woman which reverts to she had a vagina so I need to do what she says and agree with her.
As far as I've ever seen, almost all women prefer assholes. Women prefer men who aren't afraid to speak up to them or do their own thing.

FlexodusPrime · 2024-02-20T22:03:19+00:00

Good looking assholes get laid. Ugly assholes stay single

Something-bothersome · 2024-02-20T22:17:36+00:00

If people are really confused, spend a week or so hanging around your local court.

You can get a glimpse of who is in violent relationships or what those “bad boys” who commit various crimes really look like. You can see who is weeping because the “bad boy” just got locked away for 5 years. Or check out the single moms and baby daddies at family court who don’t pay child support and see if they are really “Chad” who is getting away with not committing and “spreading his seed”.

Feel free to check out the dynamics and if the lifestyle really seems like it looks like a great deal you can proceed from there —-> into therapy.

Suzcval · 2024-02-20T22:43:26+00:00

Generally speaking women don't like assholes - the pipeline generally goes women like hot guys, hot guys get egos because of so many women liking them, and that turns the hot guys into assholes, and women overlook it because they're hot, but most women would prefer a guy to not be an asshole.

That being said I DEFINITELY don't think women like straight-laced, never-party good boys either; Like in most things in life, this exists on a spectrum. A lot of women like sarcasm / smartassedness / even a little meanness in a guy, but if you kick their dog and slash their tires that's probably gonna be a negative.

No_Resolution_6600 · 2024-02-20T23:47:58+00:00

I think I figured this out. It's the gender roles indoctrination and purity culture.

It conditions men to feel the need to have to do everything for women which is too much pressure, simping for emotionally unavailable women who are not responsible and like them for money or other attributes that aren't really a part of their character because they don't think intelligence is important or other traits in women, and it conditions women to tolerate abusive guys who are irresponsible.

Purity culture creates a culture of concealment where every sexual expression is seen as bad in some way before you are married, when you need to express interest to even experiment to reach that point. So therefore, only the "bad" people move forward or succeed. Abuse, neglect, and corruption are overlooked for image.

It's also more about dominance than equality in relationships that are based on a contractual way.

UglyDude1987 · 2024-02-20T23:58:38+00:00

It's a case of false cause fallacy. Women are attracted to guys that can get away with being an asshole because of his other attractive characteristics. Not because he's an asshole

izzzy12k · 2024-02-21T00:05:43+00:00

I don't think they get the women.. They get to SLEEP with a lot of the women..

but women will still look for that "perfect guy".. but in the meantime they hookup with those types.

And in many cases, it's an endless loop that never ends. As finding the perfect guy can sometimes be an unreasonable desire compared to what they can actually achieve.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-02-21T01:39:03+00:00

You also need to be confident and extroverted

vinceoffershlomi · 2024-02-21T02:10:55+00:00

Looks

Ok-Principle-3785 · 2024-02-21T03:12:35+00:00

You are allowed to be an asshole if you are hot

OmoshiroiKudamono · 2024-02-21T03:53:34+00:00

Just because the @$$holes (the Tyrone and Pookie) are "single" does NOT mean they are celibate. If the @$$hole is Basic Bob, that is different.

Pookies don't want a relationship. Pookies want to pook.

Kore624 · 2024-02-21T06:32:34+00:00

Because to men who think that way, they only see popular douchebags who have rude humor at times getting women, and they see them having a bunch of 6-12 month long relationships and think that makes them an "asshole".

In reality, these men are outgoing, charismatic, charming, social and always up to something fun, often good looking, and know how to flirt with the right person at the right time and without coming off as awkward and weird (creepy).

Fighting with a partner, falling out of love, drifting apart, and breaking up don't make these men assholes.

Women don't want men who are so desperate they will fake it and pretend to be whatever you want so that you'll keep going out with them.

Frdxhds · 2024-02-21T07:14:06+00:00

Maybe these assholes aren't as assholerish as you think? (turning around the nice guy argument)

SlashCo80 · 2024-02-21T09:48:02+00:00

The assholes who are successful with women generally have a combination of looks, status and game that makes women overlook their assholishness or chalk it up to confidence. The second factor would be that women who are attracted to assholes are usually young and immature, have issues, or are assholes themselves. Just my experience.

No_Assumption_5864 · 2024-02-21T11:23:55+00:00

It is true even the opposite, there are also a lot of good people single and a lot of bad people in relationships ... that's because sexual attraction imo is way more important than personality when it comes to intimate and sexual relationships

Soul_vaccine · 2024-02-21T14:45:30+00:00

Good for getting laid, not great for relationship longevity, different playbooks for different situations.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-02-23T18:10:50+00:00

Because they’re bad at commitment

Title	If "Being An Asshole" Was All It Took To Get Women, Why Are So Many Assholes Single?
Author	Gravel_Roads
Upvotes	50
Comments	328
Date	February 20, 2024 3:14 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1avjzn6/if_being_an_asshole_was_all_it_took_to_get_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-being-an-asshole-was-all-it-took-to-get-women.1245935 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245935

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