Do you actually think life would be easier if you were a man in this age ?

missmireya · 2025-01-05T17:54:10+00:00

There's no way in hell I'd want to be a man, unless I was an attractive man. But then it's still a no. I think it would only be easier if I were alive 50 plus years ago being a guy.

I'll admit that I wasn't aware of my female pretty privilege at all until maybe 12 years ago, when my ex happened to point it out to me.

We as women do have our separate problems, some of them worse than mens. But I'll even admit that it's worse being a young man in modern day society, at least here in the U.S.

Ppdebatesomental · 2025-01-05T21:42:23+00:00

Biologically, probably easier to be a man.

No periods.No pregnancy. No menopause. No absolute end to fertility

The cons are there. Shorter lifespan although an extra year or two when you are already elderly..meh. Impotence can happen and would be devastating. Even when my libido has been lower, I still enjoy the closeness and bonding of sex. Not being able to perform would have to be emotionally difficult.

Socially, I think women have it better in general. More friends, generally less sexual frustration, more likely to have kids if she wants them, when she wants them. It’s 2025, you want a kid, as long as you are fertile you can have a kid. Men who want a family either need a willing partner, or find a surrogate which isn’t possible for an average person.

I think the biggest drawback to being a woman is it’s harder to 100% parent and be 100% in on a career. Fight me 🤣. Yes it can be done…it’s harder.

Feisty-Saturn · 2025-01-05T17:38:56+00:00

I don’t think my life would be as good as a man. Everything I’ve accomplished as a woman I would have accomplished as a man. There’s nothing I can think of that I don’t have because I’m a woman.

I do think that if I was a man I would want a similar woman to who I currently am and idk how easy that would be to find.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2025-01-06T01:28:48+00:00

For me, yes, but that's because of things that wouldn't apply to the general population.

I have a great-grandmother who has some serious internalised misogyny. She hates women, including me. I have to look after her because everyone in the generations between me and her are dead. If I was a man, then she'd basically worship me, and my life would be easier.

I also wouldn't have endometriosis. I know that men have their own health problems that are unique to them, but the way those issues are treated is very different. Prostatitis would be the most similar condition, with a similar incident rate. But men don't have to fight for 7-10 years to get a diagnosis, which is the average time it takes for an endometriosis diagnosis. They're also not likely to be told that prostatitis doesn't hurt, which is something I've been told countless times.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-01-05T17:41:54+00:00

In most ways no, the main consistent difference in quality of life between people in this day and age is class, not gender or anything else. If I could be a rich woman or a poor man, I’d pick a rich woman all day.

But in one important way, which is pregnancy/childbirth and parenting responsibility, absolutely yes. If I could be a father, I’d be very excited to have kids of my own. Being a woman and seeing what other women go through, I’m extremely hesitant and torn about it.

Werevulvi · 2025-01-06T01:57:01+00:00

Well I actually used to identify as transgender and changed my body to the point of passing as male for over a decade. Although I get that's not the same thing as actually being male, it did at least let me know what it was like to be perceived to be male in many social contexts. Also fyi because I am heterosexual I was perceived to be a gay man during my trans phase, which does add a little extra complexity to my experience, for whatever its worth.

That experience, combined with what I've heard from men, has led me to think some aspects of my life would be better if I had been male. For example less sexualized on a daily basis, less judged for my appearance in professional settings, less fear of sexual violence specifically, less judged for hypersexuality and promiscuity, etc.

However, I think some things would also be worse. For ex higher risk of facing non-sexual violence, less likely to get protection of any sort if I would face any kinda violence or abuse, harder to find consenting sexual/romantic partners, more negative judgement for having a low income, higher demand of having a strong physique, oddly enough higher expectation on dressing modestly in basically all social situations except from the beach, higher risk of facing harassment for any gender non-conforming behaviour or perceived homosexuality, higher pressure to perform well in sex, etc.

All in all, I don't actually think life is necessarily better or worse as either sex, but that it probably just comes down to individual... erh, preference, for lack of better wording. I mean, whether you're attracted to men or women, more masculine or more feminine, and other individual circumstances like what kinda area you live in, etc, is gonna determine whether you'd personally find misandry or misogyny to be the lesser evil.

And this kinda tracks with that there are anti-feminists of both sexes who think misandry is worse, and there are feminists of both sexes who think misogyny is worse. Although mayhaps on average most women are gonna think misogyny is worst and most men think misandry is worst, that probably just comes down to individual bias, because most people have not experienced facing both misogyny and misandry, to a full or equal extent. Even transgender people do not get the full experience of opposite sex sexism.

And nowadays, as I'm returning to live more in harmony with my female sex and dropping the trans identity, I have basically found a new way to look at life as a woman in a more positive way. Ie focusing on the good things and allowing myself to enjoy the actual privileges I get from being female, which I'm no longer in denial or dismissive of. Largely thanks to my many years of having tried to be a man.

Sure, misogyny still sucks, and of course I would still want a bit more gender equality over all, but... nah, trying to be a man did not make my life any better, and I highly doubt being an actual bio male would be better either. Especially because I'm more feminine and attracted to men, but also kinda regardless of that. I fucked up with that being trans thing, but at least I learned a lot about men during that time I tried to be one, because I gained quite a few men's trust with my willingness to listen and learn, to an extent I could never have imagined, and I'm truly grateful for that. But ultimately I am happy to be a woman, despite the inconveniences, I just wish I had realized it sooner. I guess there's some truth to the old saying that you don't know what you value until you lose it.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-01-05T21:43:02+00:00

Easier in some ways. Harder in others.

Men and women both have struggles and privileges - they’re just different struggles and privileges.

SnoopyDru · 2025-01-05T17:34:05+00:00

Each gender has its own bonuses and struggles. I wouldn’t say one is easier that the other, but they’re different.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-01-05T22:44:14+00:00

I think life is not easy regardless of gender. What is different is the types of challenges we face.

Women by and large have challenges that are either economic or physical - which is to say there is still a lot of sexism in many areas in society. I've heard of some pretty horrifying stuff to come out of law and IT for example. Women are also generally thought of as less intelligent or capable than men. We also have to accept that men are physically stronger and could by force remove much of our rights and bodily autonomy. And that men seem to revel in that capability.

On the flip side much of men's issues tend to be emotional. Men receive less sympathy, tend to be thought of as dangerous and have less of a support system. And I do think it is acceptable to say "I want a man that makes money" and a lot of men's gender roles have not been removed.

The biggest disconnect I find is that it is much much harder to solve "emotions" than it is to solve "economics"

What that means is that women's issues have an easy "culprit" and men's issues don't. It is very easy to say "sexism is bad. Men who physically assault women should go to jail. Men who sexually harass and make inappropriate comments at work should be fired" (assuming you have a working HR).

A sexual harasser is a bad guy. A rapist is a bad guy. A husband who is abusive and then takes all the money is bad guy. Those things can be legislated against.

On the other hand you can't make people love you. There's no culprit here. A woman who ignores your advances or treats you like a stranger is not a bad guy

You can redistribute money. You can't redistribute love.

So men see women advocating for their rights and for equality but they can't themselves advocate for "dating equality" because you can't make people love you. It for some men that makes them angry and bitter.

Unfortunately they then lash out about it because they are angry and bitter, which means women see men as the enemy. Because from a woman's perspective they're not even doing anything not wanting to have sex with you isn't on the same scale as being harassed at work. Or men groping you just because you went to a party. Or even being told "your body my choice".

It doesn't help that a lot of men for some reason don't focus on the emotional aspect that they are missing. They don't say "I wish I mattered to someone" or " I want to be in a loving relationship". They say "I want sex" "women get sex on tap" "cock carousel"

So we're even less likely to find a solution for men's problems. Because if it's just sex...go find a prostitute.

In the end we're all more the same than we are different.

The biggest factor to having an easy life is money not gender

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-01-05T22:05:55+00:00

You know what matters more than gender? Wealth. Family matters. whether or not you have trauma. Whether or not your culture encourages paths in higher education. Whether or not you experienced abuse. But mostly economic status. An attractive dirt poor man has a harder life than an ugly upper class man. Sex isn’t the only marker of a good or bad life you know.

Alternative_Chain330 · 2025-01-05T17:32:48+00:00

I just can't envision being another gender. My wants and desires are heavily influenced by my experience as a woman.

If I was a man, I would have different hormones and drives so my desires would be very different.

maam9243 · 2025-01-06T02:40:52+00:00

The reality is if you are physically and mentally healthy, you will have an easier life than if you're not, regardless of gender biases. Factors such as material wealth unfortunately play a role here as well.

Express-Fig-5168 · 2025-01-06T01:56:21+00:00

If I were the male equivalent of myself right now, absolutely. If I were a random man from any random place in any random country? Probably not. A lot of places are horrible regardless of sex. I remember reading one area literally has contaminated water that gave all the residents cancer and not many of them at all can get treatment.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-01-05T19:32:23+00:00

women who think this aren't thinking about dating or of they could get their dick wet.

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LucyintheskyM · 2025-01-06T07:20:40+00:00

For me, no.

But I work with children, and I've had to look up laws on discrimination for several men I've worked with in the past because parents are arseholes to make educators.

For my best mate? Hell yes. She's been outright told that her ideas are great, but weren't received well because she is a short woman, and that a male co-worker will present them in the next meeting. Things are changing, and she's still on a way better wage than me in her male-dominated field than my very essential but female dominated field, but there is a boys club there that manages to skirt around discrimination suits.

Different_Cress7369 · 2025-01-06T07:53:30+00:00

Life as a working class or poor person is going to suck and be difficult regardless of your sex or gender. We’d all be much happier if we weren’t being shat all over by the ruling elite.

AnySwimming2309 · 2025-01-05T22:42:11+00:00

Forty years ago, hands down, life as a man was way easier. Now, life is just hard, period, for everyone equally unless you are very wealthy.

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2025-01-05T21:51:43+00:00

Tbh I think it's similar for either "side", just in different ways/situations etc.

RoseyButterflies · 2025-01-06T07:16:14+00:00

I think it would be the same honestly though I'd probably be single or date men. I'm actually bi but I feel like it would be easier to get a boyfriend than a girlfriend. I'd be a twinky boy😂🤔

CatchPhraze · 2025-01-06T09:02:48+00:00

None of my struggles have been gender based besides one, so slightly easier as a man. My life has been far harder then average though so I'm probably an outlier.

EilidhLiban · 2025-01-06T11:21:29+00:00

I used to think it was a mistake I was born a girl when I was a child and thought life as a man is much better. But I don't think so anymore.

Both being a man and being a woman come with its own difficulties. Now as an adult I enjoy being a woman. Wouldn't want to be a man and I don't think my quality of life would be better if I were a male equivalent of myself.

Practical-Delay-344 · 2025-01-06T13:10:20+00:00

As I think I live in a pretty gender equal society/circle/bubble, I don't think my life would be much different, all else being equal.

I guess, as a man I would have put a bit more effort into career success instead of choosing a job that's accomodating to raising children, when I was still considering that option.

YveisGrey · 2025-01-06T13:53:07+00:00

No but why should it be? I feel like society has reached pretty closely to equality there are pros and cons of being a man (or a woman) but I don’t think it’s better to be either

Sophiatab · 2025-01-06T15:25:47+00:00

If I had been born a man (I'm assuming heterosexual), I would have been happily married by the time I was twenty-two. That is what happened to every young man in my community who wasn't a known criminal. And even plenty of the criminal types got married young also.

Xeltar · 2025-01-06T15:35:05+00:00

I think any comparison on being easier becomes very subjective and I don't feel like there are that many unique challenges. Like success in many areas would be the same advice for both men and women.

I personally wouldn't feel like it'd be easier to be a man but I have a hard time thinking it'd be harder too, at least in the US. Worldwide, yea I'd much rather be a man.

thetruthishere_ · 2025-01-06T15:54:18+00:00

Would not want to be a man outside not having to go through menopause! LOL

Men actually would not even know what to do with themselves if they had hot flashes, weird aches, itchy skin, crappy sleep and a whole host of other things you cannot control.

OkSun6251 · 2025-01-06T17:23:22+00:00

I’m glad I’m a woman but not necessarily because I think it’s easier. I just am one and idk, I find male socialization for example strange at times and I’m glad I don’t have to navigate that. I’m glad there was less pressure to be athletic and into sports when I was a teen for example. The men closest to me like being men though.

I can also understand why some women might think life is harder as a woman based on their personal experiences. For example, being physically weaker than most men can be terrifying especially if you’ve experienced abuse at the hands of men.

chalkandapples · 2025-01-07T17:26:04+00:00

Yes, but that's because I prefer the life path that is typical of a man. There are pros and cons of being a man and a woman, I happen to think I appreciate the pros of being a man and not too bothered by the cons of being a man.

spanglesandbambi · 2025-01-05T18:24:23+00:00

I'm in a pretty much all female career, and men do get promoted quicker than women as it looks good to have a male teacher for the little ones. However, if I was a man, I imagine I would then be I a traditionally male centred role for like for like.

I would like to have had a baby without pregnancy. Does that count, lol? As others have said, it's different issues, and most of the gender based issues in the modern world are less of an issue than class-based issues.

ThatBitchA · 2025-01-05T18:10:16+00:00

Generally, yes, I think being a man would be easier.

No painful periods, no men constantly lusting after you while you're trying to buy groceries or just exist, no spending money on bras, no painful periods, no period constipation, no pregnancy, no vaginal issues, no pregnancy, no pregnancy, no pregnancy, etc. No more sarcastic comments about my intelligence and my beauty. No more being told I'm worthless and ugly because I'm over 30.

Would being a man come with its own challenges. You bet. If my biggest challenge was getting laid, that would be a welcome challenge than all the ones I deal with as a woman.

Veganbabe55 · 2025-01-05T20:29:32+00:00

I do think life is easier for men as there are less restrictions for them. However I’d still prefer being a woman despite it.

HighestTierMaslow · 2025-01-06T03:29:37+00:00

Women are less superficial in relationships overall and the things women are more superficial on, its easier to work on than looks (which drives the majority of what men focus on, especially in the beginning). Its easier to date as an average man if you want an actual relationship versus an average female (I'm not a casual sex person, if you are casual sex only its more likely the opposite) Men can do all sorts of things to improve their career, personality or charisma. Women date ugly men all the time or men not attractive enough for them, men are conditioned to feel they deserve a woman out of their league of looks. Short of surgeries and many minor procedures I have no money for (and would get made fun of for doing if I followed through anyway because I wouldnt be "natural") I will never be above average as a woman and average at best. I dont have the genetic features for it based off of all the rating me forums on the Internet. Also if men arent successful romantically, they get less flack anyway from society about it and told they can have children later or date a younger woman.

This ties into my last sentence...but mens fertility declines starting at age 35 just like women, this part of biology is greatly lacking in knowledge among society... difference is, you cannot tell alot of the times and it causes more miscarriages for women (look up DNA fragmentation issues and poor morphology in sperm...it causes miscarriages in women, both of these areas increase in men's sperm starting at age 35...) So even when men's fertility declines...the WOMAN gets blamed for it through her miscarriages or lack of ability to conceive. I have had this issue for the past 5 years and constantly am told I am the main problem when I go to the best fertility clinic in my state whose poster says "40% of infertile couples comes from the man, 40% from the woman, the rest are unknown or both people" I get to come home from IUI's where my doctor says "your husband's sperm sample is not good, his morphology and motility is low, you might want to cancel this" yet *I* get to deal with the blame for it after putting myself through a month's worth of medications that make me feel like crap!!!

Its way easier to be physically fit as a man. Its way easier for them to be a healthy weight. Men naturally have a higher metabolism due to their higher muscle mass and lose weight easier during dieting challenges than women. Men respond quicker to lifting weights which enhances this unfairness. Men are less likely to be diagnosed with health conditions that screw up your metabolism compared to women/men have less hormonal dysfunctions affecting weight than women, men dont birth children or carry the brunt of caring for children WHILE working which limits exercise time. Men dont have hormone fluctuations causing bloatness, they have way less excuses for being unfit.

Men dont have hormonal fluctuations affecting their mood and dont have to "power through it" the way women do.

Men dont have to carry and birth children because they are expected to, but get to watch their spouse jerk off to porn and lust over other women during this time period and expected to just "get over it" because "hes just being a man." This is on top of women having it harder physically with their body and keeping a healthy weight.

Men dont have to navigate the insane standards for dating women have to deal with. Be pretty but not too pretty to make him insecure. Be pretty enough (which you cannot be fully natural for 99% of women due to social medias effects now) but it has to be natural/you have to be good at making it SEEM you are natural. Be smart and dont depend on a man but not too much or thats your dating problem or why would men date you. Be nice but dont be a pushover (that line is different with every man, you will be expected to know instantly lest you get insulted repeatedly)

Despite women still being a bit more superficial with money, most women just want a financially stable guy nowadays and with the economy, most married or married with kids families contain two working people yet women still do over 50% of household work, planning and childcare and are held to higher standards in all of these areas compared to men. Married women are less happy than single women but vice versa for men and this is the biggest reason why, its even worse when kids are involved. I feel married men live such a good life and can coast more when they get married compared to women. Men get called amazing dads for doing the most basic minimum parenting involved. Studies show SAHDs do way less than SAHMs yet most people think they are "amazing" for just doing the bare minimum that a SAHM would be called lazy for.

Women are still held to higher social and emotional standards than men. I could write a book about this one. Im human and can sometimes be selfish, vindicative, lazy, not polite etc although everyone IRL thinks Im the nicest person ever. But Im human and Im not perfect. If I EVER slip up I get way less flack than the average man. A man has to be more severe to get flack and judgment from others.

IMO men get to coast. They can be themselves, have more imperfections and get forgiveness (the "I needed to evolve/mature" or "I was growing as a person" is waaaaaaay overused for men in their 20s in particular, women get none of that), the toxic masculinity regarding emotions is going away now so they can be more emotionally open now (at least in my social circle they can, my social circle shames people who say negative things about men expressing emotions) so men cannot even use this anymore, men get automatic 50/50 custody where I live so they cannot use that anymore (drug dealers get 50/50 LMAO in court they do), men have to pay for the first 1-5 dates and once they are in a relationship, they get to decide when they want to marry and have all these excuses to string a girl along, when they get married all they have to do is work a financially stable/not rich job, while their wife does too. And they come home and do little else. While their wife works just like them, does mostly everything else, is socially and emotionally better with little room for flaws and has to maintain her looks better.

As men age, they get nowhere near the crap women do, so even if they land a woman out of their league for looks like they expect, they still get to degrade her for aging.

When men are old and become ill, their wife is way less likely to cheat on them or leave them, they usually get a nurse. But men rarely do this when their wife becomes ill, and they are deemed amazing for simply not leaving her.

EulenWatcher · 2025-01-05T17:28:44+00:00

If my husband and I changed places, I think overall both our quality of life wouldn't change much. Although, I'd be really glad not to go through pregnancy and birth myself.

Disastrous-Sound-694 · 2025-01-05T22:24:19+00:00

attendquoi · 2025-01-05T17:58:54+00:00

I'm pretty cis, so the thought of actually BEING a man sounds disgusting. But if I could trade being treated the way women are for the way men are, I'd probably enjoy it.

Dry_Grab_3874 · 2025-01-06T00:08:43+00:00

Yep. Easily. I'd be a 6'2 white guy born into a loving middle class family. Every privilege and benefit of my life now, except I would also be a man

Makuta_Servaela · 2025-01-05T22:30:07+00:00

My go-to would be to say "not harder or easier, just different", but I can't imagine what in my specific lifestyle would be harder if I was a man. There are a few things I think would be easier, such as dating, getting work in the field I work in (mental health), and my day-to-day desire to be left alone. I'd save an assload of money on Menstrual Products and be able to get way more done without all of the time spent dealing with PMS and the like, that's for sure.

IcyTrapezium · 2025-01-06T08:37:06+00:00

In some ways yes. I’d be safer traveling in certain countries alone. I’d be seen as more component at work by both men and women, according to studies. In other ways, no. I think I have a pretty easy time in the dating world. But that has to do with being fit, finically secure and not insane too. I’ve had male friends tell me one reason I find dating so easy is because I’m thin and athletic and so many women are overweight. That’s probably true, but lots of men are overweight too. So my pickings are also kinda slim.

Title	Do you actually think life would be easier if you were a man in this age ?
Author	crimsonlightbringer
Upvotes	89
Comments	319
Date	January 5, 2025 5:23 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1huc13p/do_you_actually_think_life_would_be_easier_if_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-actually-think-life-would-be-easier-if-you.1540439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1540439

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