Where are men finding so many dysfunctional crappy women?

kamikazes9x · 2023-11-28T14:12:29+00:00

You are on the internet. The functioning people are not here.

Safinated · 2023-11-28T14:59:47+00:00

Where their eyeballs are drawn to, obviously. Which are shitty men, apparently

John_Oakman · 2023-11-28T13:57:04+00:00

Because most/majority/all the good/functioning/normal women are either in good relationships or being stunningly brave living the single life. And thus the rabble of men & males fight/struggle for what's left (or rather, what's still visible).

modidlee · 2023-11-28T21:00:09+00:00

One woman today told me her counselor/therapist told her she loves drama. She said at first she got offended and asked the therapist why she said that. She said she told her that when she talked about the toxic, abusive, crazy situations she was in with guys she was excited when she told the stories. There are a LOT of women out here like that. The worse thing a guy can be to them is “boring,” aka drama free. The dramatic relationship with the “Chad” guy is chefs kiss for a lot of women. People underestimate how important what other people think of their guy is to women. I’ve known women that would be with lying cheating abusive guys. But if other people saw him as catch she’d fight to stay with him.

masterlaster1199 · 2023-11-28T14:21:14+00:00

I blame dating apps. Dating apps due to the hugely lopsided, gamified nature, matches men with the lowest of the low constantly.

Nellylocheadbean · 2023-11-28T14:06:33+00:00

You are what you attract. That goes for both genders. The average man is just as dysfunctional as the average woman. Physically and mentally.

wtknight · 2023-11-28T14:58:32+00:00

My way of thinking is that everyone has issues. The men on this sub are just selectively remembering the women’s whose issues support their line of thinking. These women definitely exist, but of course are not “all women”. Other women have other issues.

Fun_Push7168 · 2023-11-28T16:25:31+00:00

Over the hundreds of studies I've poured through relating to this I can sum most of it up in a super reductive manner by saying;

Unhealthy people are attracted to unhealthy behaviors in others.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-11-28T19:03:03+00:00

Most men don't have options. They have to take what they can get or be long term single.

63daddy · 2023-11-28T16:34:09+00:00

The vast majority of women I come across over 30 both online and in real life have issues such as obesity, mental health issues, serious debt, hatred of men due to past experiences, etc.

It is what it is. The thing to do of course is stop fixating on the many women who aren’t compatible and focus on finding one if the few who is.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-11-28T17:38:05+00:00

You’re a hetero woman I imagine…so your dealings with women are quite different and also come from a very different starting point…

xxxMisogenes · 2023-11-29T06:28:56+00:00

These women don't seem dysfunctional to other women.

KayRay1994 · 2023-11-28T14:04:20+00:00

long story short; lots of men are dysfunctional, crappy or both (and frankly, this seems to be the case with the majority of people as a whole) - when we talk about the loneliness epidemic (towards both genders, not just men), the increase in mental health issues as a whole and the general societal dread, this is the result.

Lots of parents fucked up, and lots of people are raised by the internet - so that’s gonna mess a whole lotta people up.

The difference is women generally tend to seek out diagnoses more than men and attempt to get treated more than men - many men reject the notion of therapy and either rely on pills alone or reject the industry entirely.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-11-28T14:00:48+00:00

The obvious answer - nearly all women are “dysfunctional crappy women”

Ackee_an_Salfish · 2023-11-28T15:02:01+00:00

Because dysfunctional crappy women are in surplus now. Narcissistic, gaslighting, unaccountable women are everywhere

Pola_Lita · 2023-11-28T14:18:24+00:00

Also, women who actually follow this AF/BB scenario where she is fucking around with hot douchbags and then settles down with a simp she mistreats are definitely not the norm. In fact, a woman like that would have to be extremely popular with guys to pull that off.

A woman would have to be emotionally disturbed to want either a continuous string of douchebags (no matter how attractive) or 24/7 with a man she so actively dislikes.

Same for the man she'd marry, and they're both rarities.

I tend to wonder more about the perceptions of men who believe they're surrounded by these types.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2023-11-28T20:09:43+00:00

You think all women are angels? 😂

Supreme_Salt_Lord · 2023-11-28T14:45:49+00:00

Its an echo chamber. If there was a sub about how plane crash survivors or people with a negative experiences on planes because of engine malfunctions. We would think it happens all the time. Most planes are faulty and badly engineered and put together in a shotty manner.

Truth is this is what echo chambers do. Some women are bad and some men are bad.

uselessloner123 · 2023-11-28T14:57:05+00:00

I live in a small city and everything mentioned is quite common here.

TheLonerCoder · 2023-11-28T18:25:28+00:00

It's not just men but women themselves literally complaining about how they cant find good men or how they hate "fuckboys" lol.

Ogdocon · 2023-11-28T20:18:41+00:00

I attract an unlimited supply of women and almost all are either golddiggers, married looking to cheat, single mothers, narcissists or psychopathic.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2023-11-28T20:57:34+00:00

Also, women who actually follow this AF/BB scenario where she is fucking around with hot douchbags and then settles down with a simp she mistreats are definitely not the norm. In fact, a woman like that would have to be extremely popular with guys to pull that off.

How do you know that? you do realize that AF is contextual so for a woman who is 4 an alpha is a 7

happy_discus · 2023-11-28T17:09:59+00:00

Because almost every woman is dysfunctional and crappy. Same with almost every man. The few that arent are together. So everyone else has to pair up with their shitty equivalent.

obviousredflag · 2023-11-28T13:52:27+00:00

Well, you can imagine it to be like on dating apps. Profiles get sorted by desirability via how they get interacted and interact with other profiles. If you are trash ranked desirability, you get shown to and are shown other trash ranked profiles. So if you are getting lots of bots, scammers and ugly people, single mommies, etc. , guess what , you are trash ranked. If you get no bots, scammers, ugly people, barely any fat people or single moms, you are desirable.

If there are people in your life who date felons, abusers, bullies etc, you are trash ranked and play in the same league as those people. So to answer you question: dysfunctional crappy men find examples of dysfunctional crappy women in their lives.

FebruaryEightyNine · 2023-11-28T13:45:06+00:00

"Where are all these men finding terrible women" says the poster who makes daily fucking bunk threads on redundant topics. It's clear to see why men are finding so many toxic women and most of that is displayed by the women on here and people like you. Seriously. I tend to find more level headed takes on places like r/askwomen. Places like here and twoX give a perfect window into the mindset of the weird, socially stunted, devoid of self awareness, toxic women I met in my life. Women who claim they care so little about finding a partner yet have entire post histories consumed by arguing/seeking attention/obsessing over opinions of men. Even loser men. Some of you legit peruse places like Inceltear.

Lol you saying that is like an Andrew Tate fanboy on here confused about women complaining about modern misogyny.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2023-11-28T13:53:23+00:00

I think the biggest issue contributing to this problem is that men on average seem to be looking for a large variety of high quality casual sex partners. In order to find those partners men usually have to go to morally questionable places like bars, strip clubs, online sugar sites or they simply hang out in the the bad neighborhoods. Men are trying to find the perfect women (yes that’s plural) for themselves when in reality perfect doesn’t exist let alone there being multiple perfect women for every man. When men discover they will need to lower standards in one area or another to find a compatible partner (depending on what’s most important to them) they tend to get angry and view all women as evil.

gntlbastard · 2023-11-28T13:57:26+00:00

Women like to think that they are all perfect and awesome. When in reality they are just as horrible as the men they complain about.

The_Texidian · 2023-11-28T15:32:52+00:00

I think there’s a few things

1) Majority of men don’t really get to pick and choose what women they can date. I mean we don’t have a large pool of women who we can just go out with. So in a sense, beggars can’t be choosers. For example, the women I work with are all in relationships and with online dating I am lucky to get one match a month, which leads to about one or two dates a year. If I were to wait for Miss. Sane&Functional I’d be waiting for a while.

2) 1 in 4 women are on psych meds. I’d reckon that number is higher for young women. So there’s a growing number of dysfunctional women.

3) The functional and sane women found a guy in high school or a slightly older guy in college from my experience. This leads to young men in a weird spot where most single women don’t want to settle down and if they do, they do with an older guy. This leaves the “dysfunctional” women left for younger guys to date.

4) The good women are all chasing the same few guys and have very high standards, you know the thing.

Most importantly 5) Good men and good women are rare. So them finding each other AND being attracted to each other isn’t easy.

No_Fox_748 · 2023-11-28T16:04:40+00:00

A lot of women are terrible

szclimber · 2023-11-28T14:45:59+00:00

Many women are crazy and dysfunctional. The normal ones are rarely single and available.

Independent_Score217 · 2023-11-28T19:03:26+00:00

Women are only going after about 5% of men. They aren't all finding tons of horrible men. Most of them are sharing a singular horrible man. Polyandry really rigs the numbers game.

macone235 · 2023-11-28T19:04:50+00:00

Everywhere, because it's the norm. Women care about physical appearance, money, and social status. Of course, women can still inadvertently find good men with these traits, but when that isn't your priority, then it's natural for it to be uncommon.

Also, women who actually follow this AF/BB scenario where she is fucking around with hot douchbags and then settles down with a simp she mistreats are definitely not the norm. In fact, a woman like that would have to be extremely popular with guys to pull that off.

It is the norm. Maybe she is not landing actual 10s, but she is landing men with higher sexual capital, and then settling with someone with lower sexual capital that she mistreats. Women lower their standards for marriage, because have to if they want to get married, and this creates resentment that leads to conflict.

External_Pomelo939 · 2023-11-28T13:49:31+00:00

The guy dosent have to be hot it just has to be someone she’s more sexually aroused by. I don’t see how she’d have to be popular to be more aroused to a man whom she slept with prior to her marriage. Also bad women like this are everywhere and the behavior is very much encouraged. And Every argument can’t be “give me a stat or a video or it didn’t happen” because you want to invalidate that men encounter these women. And obviously they don’t have to deal with them either but more bad than good exist. They’re everywhere if you’re honestly curious and not trying to ask a question in bad faith but I’ve seen previous arguments of yours so I know how this will go. Glad I don’t date seriously

BringMeThePopcorn · 2023-11-28T14:10:55+00:00

Just talk to them

El_Don_94 · 2023-11-28T14:55:39+00:00

America.

Solopist112 · 2023-11-28T16:24:55+00:00

Birds of a feather flock together.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-11-28T17:22:27+00:00

There is a saying in medicine. The eyes don't see what the mind doesn't know. Frequently in the past there were situations I couldn't catch because I had never seen it before.

A similar thing might be happening with you. I mean the absolute gall to belive that you are somehow so perfect that there is nothing in you that could be so terrible. You really must think you are some kind of angel huh.

I can't really fault you if you can't see the manipulation people use. I can call you stupid though.

But I suspect that you are blind to your own flaws. And far worse you are blind to it in the women around you. At that point it's not idiocy but a kind of malicious arrogance.

Be well Lilith. You are not the end all be all.

gloom_spewer · 2023-11-28T18:42:44+00:00

It's not a binary category, it's a set of sliding scales. My GF is damaged in some ways and not in others, like every adult.

That said, those who have a negative outlook, will on average gravitate towards those who would reinforce that outlook.

j3wbacca996 · 2023-11-29T00:36:27+00:00

Because a side effect of 21st century modern western society is that it produces dysfunctional people, and this goes for both men & women.

AidsVictim · 2023-11-29T01:43:35+00:00

Dysfunctional women are in and out of relationships more often (typically) so they will tend to date more men and overrepresent themselves among the dating population.

Also some environments produce majority dysfunctional people. Dating in Baltimore or DC will give someone quite a different impression than dating in Bangor Maine

Finally society itself is simply increasingly dysfunctional socially with each generation. The younger you are the more pronounced the effect.

Recording_Important · 2023-11-29T09:14:17+00:00

Dysfunctional crappy society homie.

SlyStocks · 2023-11-28T14:03:40+00:00

Of course I know women who are „normal“ and have „normal“ partners. All those partners are much taller than me, though.

And yeah, my female friends always pretend that they „don‘t understand why I can‘t find someone“, yet they never introduce me to any of their single friends ever.

Wonder how that comes about.

527east · 2023-11-28T14:24:07+00:00

Multi generations of Feminism creating fatherless homes causes women to have daddy issues.

basedmama21 · 2023-11-28T16:14:48+00:00

Dysfunctional, crappy, women are simply allowed to fester and exist without consequences. Men are not given this much grace. We have allowed women to become man-hating slobs who detest their nature and this has grown like wildfire.

Finding a demure, modest, family driven woman who stays in shape and actually respects men seems to be like finding a unicorn in the 21st century. I actually feel sorry for *some men.

*I know that not all men struggle to find good women. Because I like to give men benefit of the doubt. Since no one else does.

philseven12 · 2023-11-28T14:14:50+00:00

ok my experiences are an outlier and dont apply to other dudes:

the”bad” women are everywhere, i dont run across “nice” women. when women interact with me it’s about sex and performance. my dick better be bigger than the ex or its a micro. i better be taller or im a piece of shit. if her ex was 6ft 5, i better be the same or taller.

there is no middle ground that i find with women. its either they mad at me for not fitting the image they want, so they want nothing to do with me. or they want me to come fuck them right now, but they still mad i dont fit the image.

the women i meet are hateful and twisted, then demand sex after. once sex is done they transform back into evil again. they hit me up a week later to repeat the process. im not applying this to western women, i live abroad so things are different where im at

i can find a woman that is down to fuck faster than finding one who’s down for a good conversation. i can go on a date and be insulted from head to toe, then lead off by her to a love hotel to get it in

if something bad happens to me, they think its funny. if im in the hospital they find reason to mock it. but i still need to be available for sex. im having one of the worst weeks of my life and i can’t talk to anyone.

women as a whole aint bad, and western women get excessive hate imo. if i do start actively looking for a relationship again it would be with someone’s from a western country also or a non local

my time spent has allowed me to learn a lot of behaviors that optimize hooking up and cutting through filler conversations to get to the point but the intimacy aspect is unavailable. reddit gives me better conversation than i can get from chatting up 10 women outside

randomness111111111 · 2023-11-28T14:22:48+00:00

I know people cant control the environment they were raised in, but as an adult, you should definitely have more control of your social circle, especially with the internet where you can find people beyond your local area.

So this is the answer to question "where all good men are", excellent take as usual, but you should put approriate flair

Ohmaygahh · 2023-11-28T15:53:59+00:00

Everywhere. At school, at work, major urban metropolitan cities, small podunk towns of population 60,000 or less.

I agree everyone has control over whether continuing associating with suboptimal social circles, but I disagree with the coded premise that people have control of what social circles exist in their proximity. Participation or not, what's in your vicinity, is in your vicinity.

purplish_possum · 2023-11-28T16:01:40+00:00

Lillith and Metro guy live in a world were everyone is above average.

HTML_Novice · 2023-11-28T17:19:59+00:00

Men usually need to, or are told to improve if they’re not getting any action. If men are not good enough, they get nothing. They will work on money, fitness, fashion etc.

Women usually also need to improve if they’re not getting the results they want ( commitment ). But they are not told to improve in any way that would help them land commitment. I’ve never seen or heard of other women tell eachother to workout and get fit in order to get commitment, or to be more submissive and let the man lead to make him feel good. Gyms are 90% dudes. They’ll typically get SOME results, dudes using them for sex. So they don’t feel the need to improve, as they don’t see the distinction between sexual and commitment minded attention

flakybottom · 2023-11-28T15:04:15+00:00

Easy answer for me. My own brother was the definition of an good looking, abusive deadbeat and he ran thru women like the Flash. And I've seen plenty of other guys just like him.

So the answer is that I don't personally know tons of dysfunctional women, but I know shitty, abusive guys who somehow attract tons of women.

volster · 2023-11-29T12:33:41+00:00

This propped up in my feed and while a bit overly preachy the sentiment at the end is hard to argue with https://youtube.com/shorts/xiAeMsvOG-4?si=EAPaBRBCf_Ug7RDn

I've found some value in red pill content. When I was at my lowest, when therapy had proven a bust and there was seemingly no help available - this did. https://youtu.be/UQyo3oMhK84?si=U_tLZGX2kwZ4TPmI

That said I've no particular desire to actively be a "red pilled guy"

In terms of modern dating dynamics hoe_math seems to be pretty much on the money in terms of "people say it don't be like that ... But it do"' type content https://youtu.be/Vh0hj9ZD9FY?si=8aKM1giKbApmb2dL

His stuff has proven quite helpful in terms of hammering home a message of "hey dipshit maybe try applying self improvement effort to moving leftwards on the vales chart and see what happens eh?"

It's still very early days, but this is already showing signs of being a positive feedback loop 🫠

Yes it's technically a message to has been giving for years but..... Made normie friendly with pretty drawings

The levels one is also a fun rabbit hole if you're looking for one https://youtu.be/kse87ocS0Uo?si=fPlMTXnh5124HFuZ

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-11-28T14:02:15+00:00

My guy most of the men on this page never interact with women. They listen to podcasts and then run with those talking points. You have to understand that these are the same men who complain that zero women like them on dating apps. They’re not getting women so they end up turning resentful towards women which then turns off women and it slowly becomes a vicious cycle. Most women are normal in real life. Most men are normal in real life.

claratheresa · 2023-11-28T15:10:27+00:00

They want women out of their leagues physically and end up trading off all other qualities.

H_T1998 · 2023-11-28T13:48:29+00:00

bc they're dating older women well into their 20s with poor attitudes and habits already well entrenched.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-11-28T18:21:28+00:00

One hypocritical thing I see on here all the time is men telling women to pick better (and even after one date from OLD apps LMFAO...like you can "seriously" vet someone using OLD apps its ridiculous) but they dont apply this same standard to themselves.

Most men I know who repeatedly complain about the quality of women out there are 1) very very picky with looks. They pick the best looking women yet wont admit they do this or 2) pick manipulative crappy women (but do not psychologically realize they are doing this as explained below) 3) A smaller % it is because the places they are meeting women tend to attract more bad quality women (For example with OLD apps you will have to sift through more bad quality people).

Both genders can pick crappy partners and I find alot of times it is due to childhood attachment issues. (A concept not considered on this forum and is a HUGE factor in your adult romantic relationship patterns but most people arent self aware enough to realize their attachment pattern).

I am a weird gal in that I actually like "nice" guys and I repeatedly rejected men in my 20s who gave me jerk vibes. My nice female friends who were the opposite and some gave me crap for my behavior...pretty much all of them had a rude, mean father, or a dismissive avoidant father, or "people pleasing" mothers towards their father, or other daddy issues.

froderenfelemus · 2023-11-28T18:56:31+00:00

I’ve been wondering this too. I don’t know any of those women lol

vesieco · 2023-11-28T19:08:01+00:00

For some reason I have a feeling a lot of the women you're describing are in small towns and small cities. I live downtown in the heart of one of the biggest cities in NA and rarely do I run into these types of women. The women I meet are students, ones that have their career in the city, women on vacation, immigrants, and young adults working part time. In short, women who actually have something going for them in their lives. I rarely leave downtown and something tells me the women you described aren't usually hanging around in the big city.

MailenJokerbell · 2023-11-28T19:50:17+00:00

Either they're lying and only parroting what they hear/see online while never touching grass or their social circle is comprised of that, which definitely says a lot about them.

Ambitious_Yam1677 · 2023-11-28T18:13:09+00:00

lol literally. They act like so many women are shit and don’t look at themselves. They ever think maybe they’re the problem?

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Willow-girl · 2023-11-28T14:21:01+00:00

Bars, probably.

OptimistInHell · 2023-11-28T17:37:39+00:00

A lot of people here will post about experiences they have; similarly, some of you will be reluctant to believe experiences that don't align with your perceptions.

Some will even come up with asinine likes like "you are what you attract".

Tbh, people will probably post the experiences they see (whether it actually happened or not who knows, or happened to them or someone else who knows). But we'd be remiss to dismiss them because we don't like how it makes one gender look.

For example, in 2XC, they believe every piece of horseshit they get, despite every evident contradiction. Now, the men here who find these women, they could be like fantasists could be like their female counterparts they could represent a certain subsection of the population (while also accounting for some fantasists).

Could also be a difference in perception. Women probably treat women differently than they do all men. The men who in this sub happen to be the ones who feel they are treated so badly in their view that they need to post their grievances on the Internet.

ChemistryFederal6387 · 2023-11-28T17:48:11+00:00

The answer sadly, is everywhere. Take my workplace, the number of women who are now divorced, leaving toxic husbands is astonishing.

Why so men women are in denial about this is beyond me.

blarginfajiblenochib · 2023-11-28T18:38:24+00:00

I just find it fascinating how so many men here seem to only know women who keep dating abusers, bullies, felons, and obviously terrible men. It's like a weird reality where decent men never get women to love them. And when it's not her dating awful men, she's an awful person such as hating men being vulnerable, manipulating guys using her body to get her way, always comparing guys to the shitty men in her life despite him clearly not being shitty, mocks men that dont fit her preferences, always posting thirst traps for attention, and most importantly, can't be trust to not whore and lie about her baby daddy.

These are all different women, but I think the comments you’re reading on places like this sub are also full of men mixing in with envy/anger over the other men said women are dating.

The red flag behavior is there - there are plenty of women who are manipulative, unfaithful, and treat otherwise good men like shit. There are also women who are actually decent people who date hot but shitty men and continue on a pattern of doing so for some time. There are also women who date guys who may be kind of assholes but are ultimately harmless and don’t actually do anything wrong, they’re just not doormats or actually have personality and other good qualities, unlike the guys complaining about them.

19whale96 · 2023-11-28T23:27:52+00:00

This is a reddit dating sub, most of the GUYS here don't have normal lives. The types of women we can get invested in us are usually going to be dysfunctional in one way or another. I think the problem a lot of guys have with that is our dysfunctions don't correlate. Tons of guys with no or little dating experience are somehow exclusively only able to attract women with above-average or worse-than-average experience with men. It's like trying to find someone in the same boat as you, knowing your boat is leaking, and only finding swimmers with no boat, who are eager to clamber into yours, where you both sink twice as fast.

Grouchy_Cookie_7813 · 2023-11-29T02:41:23+00:00

I saw a lot of those women when I lived in a rural town/ in poverty. Since joining the middle class I don’t see those women.

liferelationshi · 2023-11-29T04:03:25+00:00

Everywhere

Beautiful_Bunch_6079 · 2023-11-29T05:19:25+00:00

Taking care of my niece rn bc my sister decided to sleep with a guy 10 years her senior who didn’t even have a diploma from high school.

Didn’t mention that he also got other women pregnant.

I also didn’t mention that that was similar to how I came to be on this earth.

I also didn’t mention that the women who want me the most want me when I’m doing bad things. I’m taken so it’s whatever.

No-Click9406 · 2023-11-29T07:01:58+00:00

you aren't going to hear about the relationships that worked out and have great partners because they are normal boring people that live normal boring lives.

the internet will always show you the bigger, better, more exciting lifestyle and inturn you get shown the toxic people that live it because it's entertaining.

in the real world most people that live boring lives get boring (but acceptable) results while people that try to live "exciting" lives get entertaining results.

GlasgaAccentfurYanks · 2023-11-29T07:41:57+00:00

It's called a penis. It is attached to his body. It wants to fuck, all, the time.

Title	Where are men finding so many dysfunctional crappy women?
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	35
Comments	385
Date	November 28, 2023 1:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/185w8e5/where_are_men_finding_so_many_dysfunctional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/where-are-men-finding-so-many-dysfunctional-crappy.1239532 https://theredarchive.com/post/1239532

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