[Q4M] If you don’t want women to have careers/work, what do you expect them to do to obtain money, resources, and meet their needs?

lagavenger · 2021-09-15T16:36:53+00:00

There exists, in some men, the desire to maintain absolute control in a relationship. The woman not working ensures that she must rely on the man 100% for food, shelter, etc. Resenting her for it is, in a way, enforcing the idea that the man is superior.

I know someone who was absolutely devastated when his girlfriend broke up with him. His response was to go out and find a girl who was entirely dependent on him financially and emotionally. He married someone who is autistic enough that she needs significant help to navigate life. Don't ask me about autism, because I don't understand it well enough. I just recognize that she doesn't fare well in social interactions, is hard to communicate with, and takes everything super literally. And I've seen her do really stupid stuff, like stick a box of pizza in the oven and set the oven to 350, filling the house with smoke. Or try to start the car with the transmission in drive.

He likes that she's not independent, because he gets to be in absolute control. She doesn't make her own decisions, that she's not able to hold a job beyond very basic jobs, etc. Being able to berate her gives him a scapegoat, someone to blame for any problems in their life/relationship. And he's no longer worried about losing someone.

Disclaimer: I don't hold these opinions. I prefer an independent woman.

Edit: some people have taken issue with the fact that OP says “significant portion of men”. I absolutely don’t think this applies to most men. But I do think emotional trauma goes a long way to explaining many eccentric (for lack of a better word) behaviors in relationships.

2021-09-15T15:39:14+00:00

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PoMansDreams · 2021-09-15T16:56:27+00:00

Men actually dont care as much as you think about where women work. The internet doesnt reflect real life

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-15T16:08:57+00:00

There's a BIG DIFFERENCE between saying Your career and etc dont make you sexier vs dont work.

Global-Cranberry-263 · 2021-09-15T16:28:09+00:00

What retard doesnt want women to have careers and work? WTF?

greenjoe10 · 2021-09-16T18:07:35+00:00

I think a lot of men subconsciously leverage a woman's security as a sexual strategy.

nick1812216 · 2021-09-15T15:59:55+00:00

Man here, i do want women to have careers/work.

Key-Progress-8873 · 2021-09-15T16:37:13+00:00

You just strawmanned a whole bunch of men posting here.

AmbitiousHornet · 2021-09-15T15:43:05+00:00

What is a significant portion of men quantitatively? Can you cite a source that a significant portion of men don’t want women working?

Anantha1996 · 2021-09-15T16:01:51+00:00

I'm fairly active on the sub and haven't seen a single post arguing for women not to work or get educated. Where do you get the idea that a significant portion of men don't want female partners to work?

Aldabruzzo · 2021-09-15T16:07:24+00:00

No.

We do not decry women being in the work force, going to college, and pursuing careers.

Our problem is with women who are in the work force, go to college, pursuing careers, who also demand to be treated like traditional wives, pampered, cared for, and provided for.

What we have a problem with is career women who demand that we spend our own money on them when they ALREADY HAVE their own money, demand that we pay when they can pay themselves, and won't share anything with us.

What we have a problem with is the what's his is ours, what's ours is ours, and what's mine is mine mentality women have with their own money. "His" money is also "her" money; but "her" money is NEVER EVER also "his" money. No. Fuck that bullshit.

We don't decry women who want to be provided for. No, what we have a problem with is women who want to be provided for and who also demand to run everything, will not submit, will not do what we ask or tell them to do, bitch and complain about how we take care of things, and sex deprive us.

Got it?

You don't get to have it both ways. If you want to be a career girl, don't bitch and complain when it's your turn to pony up with the cash. YOU pay for YOUR share of things. YOU pay for ME sometimes.

If you want to be provided for and you want me to make all the money to provide for you, you will by fucking God do it my way, how I want, when I want, and you WILL NOT complain about it.

You want to do it your way? You pay for it - and be by yourself.

You want me to pay for it? You will do it my way.

You want to make your own money and have a career, AND be in a relationship with me? Then you pay your fair share.

If you don't like that, go find someone else.

Lotus_82 · 2021-09-15T17:56:09+00:00

Why are some dudes getting butt hurt about this? She didn’t say ALL men, she just said that SOME men do and that’s who she was directing her question to.

So if this ain’t about you just keep scrolling and move on please, no one wants to hear you complain because you somehow decided to make this about you.

VitalSynthax · 2021-09-15T17:48:00+00:00

I think the view that high value men like housewives is a huge myth. I work in a lucrative field with a lot of other careerist and high achieving men and most of us want to date people with similar values and lifestyles, I.e other high achieving careerist types.

I urge you to look up the wives of CEOs, investment bankers, hedge fund managers, etc. You will find close to zero housewives.

Teflon08191 · 2021-09-15T15:52:46+00:00

To sum it up: If a significant portion of men don’t want women working, why are they so reluctant to provide for and marry their female partners?

Because marriage means nothing anymore in terms of commitment for the person who earns less.

Would you marry somebody who could just decide at any time to nullify their commitment to you, whereas you're still legally required to maintain some degree of commitment to them?

The system is broken, that's why men don't want to marry, despite wanting to be providers.

LadyM2 · 2021-09-15T19:44:09+00:00

Men just want women to be their slaves, free sex and free labor. Unlike some egalitarians’ delusional wishes, that has never changed even till today. No matter how you sugarcoating the regality, that is the undeniable truth. So funny some LibFem would fall for those pitfalls set up by men under the disguise of egalitarianism. Men even have the audacity to complain that women won’t go 50/50 on dates, as if they would share 50% risks when women risk their lives and careers to give birth to children. Whoever buys such 50/50 shit is either an asshole (male) or a moron (female).

AidsVictim · 2021-09-15T17:13:57+00:00

It seems that the same men who decry women being in the workforce, going to college, and pursuing careers are the men who decry women who want to be provided for.

I suppose there are men who are like this but I think it's mostly a strawman. How many men can you find on here who really think women shouldn't work? I don't really know any men under 70 who think that way.

I think the main problem men have with the college -> career pipeline are the values and behaviors they instill in many women, although it doesn't matter that much anymore since it's basically the entire culture at this point. Women that are antagonistic towards "men" as a group, value money/career over family (or are just plain anti family), tendency towards disposable relationships, credential fetishization (aka high standards), confusing gender roles (expectations of partners vs their own behaviour) etc.

While it's often pointed out here that everyone tends to partner/marry within their class because of exposure, the sort of class based (and specifically credentialist) standards college and corporate women adopt that make them unattractive partners to average men.

TheEndTrend · 2021-09-16T00:04:31+00:00

I can only speak for me, but I am actually for women working and being free to do whatever they want…yet I am an anti-feminist.

I am against women trying to “be” men and competing with their own man, but I am for women working and making their own way in the world.

TheEndTrend · 2021-09-16T00:05:37+00:00

It’s completely possible to be a strong, independent woman and not be an insufferable bitch. That’s really all most men want.

GrandRub · 2021-09-16T11:38:55+00:00

who wants that woman dont work? only the tradcucked idiots that look for a woman that is easy to control.

of course woman should work... but they shouldnt make work and "career" the center of their universe... and the same applies to men.

work to live - and dont live to work.

BabyOutrageous468 · 2021-09-16T12:15:06+00:00

Finally said!!!!

RVSleeper · 2021-09-15T15:45:47+00:00

Perhaps I have not read enough of these forums, but in the life of myself and my friends, the opposite is true. We look for women with good jobs and fulfilling careers and they quit their job any way they can. Good men want their partners to have financial independence, and fulfilling ventures outside of the home. It just makes life better. Don't let the magnification of the fringe elements on Reddit tell you otherwise.

Lotus_82 · 2021-09-15T17:51:51+00:00

Those “tradcon” men don’t really care about traditional values, what they really want is a woman that depends on them for money and who they can exert their authority on and overcompensate for their insecurities.

AerieIll3707 · 2021-09-15T15:45:01+00:00

They're not the same men though.

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-09-15T15:52:54+00:00

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HanselGretel1993 · 2021-09-15T23:40:56+00:00

"If you don’t want women to have careers/work, what do you expect them to do to obtain money, resources, and meet their needs? "

Jesus, I never wanted that.

Is that a common desire men have?

I want a woman in my life so we can mutually support each other, equally.

I want a teammate for a partner, not a dog!

I certainly don't like to be treated like a dog.

I will never understand people who like to control others and always think they know what is best for them. Making the other submissive to that person's whims and desires.

It creates such a power imbalance... That is just sad.

I might understand them... but it surely isn't a sign of being mentally healthy in almost all cases.

For you, or the woman.

No thanks!

2021-09-15T18:58:25+00:00

Lol solid work here OP, you have angered a lot of people with your accurate observation of their hypocrital stance.

Because it IS hypocritical. RP men want women to be in a vulnerable spot. Of fucking course they do! They want to have power, and it's easier to do that when women have no source of income or prospects outside of servicing a male and hoping he deigns to provide for her.

It all comes from a place of insecurity. If you know your worth then you aren't worried a woman will walk out on your ass because you know you can get another, or at the very least, be happy and fulfilled on your own. So you don't need her to be clingy, financially dependent and reliant on you for survival.

Me and my wife both have jobs, careers and aspirations and I wouldn't have it any other way. Having the kids rely on us all the time is enough. I love having an independent human being working alongside me.

Strong alpha women rise up.

Islandboy2000 · 2021-09-15T18:51:33+00:00

“but you refuse to marry her,”

Those are the key words right there, and you said them, but you didn’t realize the importance.

I suggest to my daughters to date with intention. And save some of the valued things for her future husband.

In other words, don’t give away wife privileges to a man who isn’t your husband yet.

So if you are worth marrying, and demand marriage, then the man has only two choices: Move on or marry you. And the quicker you can get an answer, the better off for you.

heywoodsr · 2021-09-15T20:45:13+00:00

Who the fuck says that anyone resents their wives for being a stay at home wife. I have no issue providing EVERYTHING and ANYTHING she wants. She is my hero . Raising 3 beautiful,smart,respectful children 24/7/365 with barely a complaint. The toughest job in the world is to stay at home and SUCCESSFULLY raise children. She could have chosen any career but she put the children first and it payed off. I hate when angry women put housewives down. You try that career and see how you do. Housewives should be honored,not put down

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-15T21:13:08+00:00

Who claims that a woman working makes them too masculine? LOL

ErodingStoneLion · 2021-09-15T22:34:43+00:00

What timeline are we in? I don't know anyone who doesn't want their significant other to also work. I know some of my friends and co-workers who have wives that wanted to stay home and take care of the kids so the husbands agreed to be the employed worker but it wasn't something they asked for.

I'd rather have a significant other who works. It would be nice if they make more money than me if I had the choice to pick - although it's not really that important.

Carloverguy20 · 2021-09-16T02:27:44+00:00

Some guys are just afraid of independent women, because it hurts their ego and man testicles that a woman doesn't need to bow down or rely on. Me personally I love independent unconventional women who don't fit the norm, idk why but it's attractive to me that some women are independent, have their stuff together, don't care about social norms, as long as they aren't toxic people. Im attracted to the types of women, redpillers and manospherians despise i've noticed.

I've never liked tradtional submissive women for some odd reason, and I feel out of place with my attraction towards those types of women.

2021-09-16T02:29:03+00:00

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ForgedYetBroken · 2021-09-16T09:22:02+00:00

They're called "passionate" and not logical for a reason.

Tobinaor · 2021-09-15T21:24:55+00:00

Stop taking all the opinions together and mixing them up. Those aren’t the same men all the time.

Go ahead and work. Just give up the previous privileges. Pay for something. Be a provider for a “house husband.” Just stop acting like a “boss bitch.” Or… go ahead and act like a boss bitch but stop saying it intimidates men. The same way you’re not attracted to a flamboyant feminine weak man, most men (especially the winners you love) don’t want an angry masculine “strong” woman.

Funny how when you obtain money and resources, it’s all for you. When we do it, a whole society and family is provided for. You think being a leader is just getting to lead. Yeah, it’s also being held liable and accountable. So strong and independent and striving for equality but nothing about the relationships you enter into is equal. Always taller, stronger, better, higher salary, etc. So modern yet so traditional.

The men who expect you to not work are the traditional males. They’re the ones refusing to marry you. The ones that resent you aren’t. They’re in agreement with you. Stop acting traditional. Buy them a gift. Ask them out. You’re modern and strong and a take no prisoners boss babe. Where’s all that go getter energy at huh? Nope, you want your cake and to eat it too.

What a bad question. I might as well ask why do women want to work and be stay at home moms at the same time when those are 2 different groups?

darthbanks · 2021-09-15T15:51:43+00:00

These men just need to step it up and stop complaining because women are starting to out earn them. A lot of dudes are bums, which is why women need to rely on themselves. Bring back REAL MEN, and then the women will be more feminine.

Barely-moral · 2021-09-15T15:43:23+00:00

If you don’t want women to have careers/work, what do you expect them to do to obtain money, resources, and meet their needs?

I don't mind women having jobs/careers. I don't want my partner to have a job/career.

The reason is simple, the only way I get to be attractive enough for any woman to consider me as a potential partner is if I change the direction of my life from what I would consider ideal to what she considers ideal. What I would consider an ideal life would make me an incel. That means the cost I have to pay to have a partner is high, so I want something worth it in return. What I want in return for changing the direction of my life is a partner that puts me and the relationship first and has all the free time in the world.

If the woman brings that to the table then I will take care of the resources, money and her needs. That is not for her to worry about.

It seems that the same men who decry women being in the workforce, going to college, and pursuing careers are the men who decry women who want to be provided for.

I doubt they are the same. Why do you think they are the same?

If indeed you are ok with providing 100% if she doesn’t work but you refuse to marry her

That is my position.

she will be left with absolutely nothing - no money, no job, no career, no education, little work experience, and big gaps in her resume - if you separate

That is wrong. I would provide her with a job that pays more than enough for her to live comfortably, a job she can't lose and a job she can do.

In any case, her being a partner is the same as her having a job, she got paid while she was doing her job. She shouldn't continue getting paid after she no longer provides her services. I would provide her with a job because I said I would and because I appreciate the past just as much as I appreciate the present and future.

How is such a strategy prudent on a woman’s part?

If she picks the right man, it is prudent. If she doesn't, then it isn't.

If a significant portion of men don’t want women working, why are they so reluctant to provide for and marry their female partners?

Women today don't provide enough value to a man for them to be willing to pay such a price.

It is the same reason I am not willing to marry. To marry someone is to give them the power to take away half of everything I have and half of everything I ever make. Not only it creates a perverse incentive structure but it also is expensive as fuck.

No woman I have ever met brought enough to the table to be worth such a high price. The moment a woman does bring enough to the table, I will pay.

Edit: Argue instead of downvoting, whoever you are.

XtoDoubt · 2021-09-15T15:38:29+00:00

Your shitty data entry job is neither a career, nor interesting. Your college degree does not make you smart, nor interesting. Both of these things don't raise your smv, and, in fact, shrinks the pool of men you would be open to.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't have a shitty data entry job and a college degree,but we're on a sexual strategy debate forum, so that's the focus.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-09-15T18:04:50+00:00

To me the issue isn't the woman making her own money, its the reaction that naturally follows if she makes more than the man.

Women, traditionally, across all cultures, want men superior to them in some measurable ways. Money is the most easy way to measure this.

While I know some women who do the opposite, these are women who also want weak men for their own reasons, control, security, I won't guess but they are quite infrequent.

So what you are seeing is human nature butting heads with modern society. Human nature btw always wins, you can't out logic genes at the society level.

This is why women are more unhappy right now, and why men who are moderately, but only moderately successful in life are having a harder time of it.

I've said this about TRP but I think it works for just about all the mindsets.

Everything seems to be able planning for failure not maximizing success.

From divorce rape to "what if he leaves me and I have no career". Its not 'how to have a good marriage' but 'what to do when it fails'.

Its good to have contingency plans but the most important is focusing on the main plan itself.

I feel eternally grateful in my luck with my wife is my wife and we work together for a common goal and for each other rather then this "I have mine" mindset.

Special-Armadillo-99 · 2021-09-15T15:33:41+00:00

They are reluctant specifically because of the current set up.

Men don't want women to suddenly stop working just because they dislike the ramifications of the workforce being suddenly increased by 100% driving down the cost of labor.

Jakes1967 · 2021-09-15T20:06:44+00:00

If you don’t want women to have careers/work, what do you expect them to do to obtain money, resources, and meet their needs?

Where are you getting this rubbish from, the Taliban?

It seems that the same men who decry women being in the workforce, going to college, and pursuing careers are the men who decry women who want to be provided for.

Who exactly is decrying women from having an education or careers?

I don’t get the logic. How can you simultaneously expect a female partner not to work and also resent her for asking for money and stuff? If she can’t work because it makes her “too masculine” or something and she can’t be provided for, what do you want her to do? I say this half-rhetorically and half-seriously: scavenge in dumpsters and live on the street?

You've been drinking too much cool-aid...

If indeed you are ok with providing 100% if she doesn’t work but you refuse to marry her, she will be left with absolutely nothing - no money, no job, no career, no education, little work experience, and big gaps in her resume - if you separate. How is such a strategy prudent on a woman’s part?

You do know that women have been in the workforce, in one form or another, for over a century?

To sum it up: If a significant portion of men don’t want women working, why are they so reluctant to provide for and marry their female partners?

There is no "significant" number of men, these are the tiniest of percentage of men...

madmax77xl · 2021-09-15T22:06:40+00:00

This post isn't written from a genuine place of wanting to know, you've already got your mind made up about something that isn't true for most men. We do not care if you work, I love that my girl makes her own money. It's just that your money does not make you sexier nor does it make me want you more

Mustbeaight · 2021-09-15T15:30:50+00:00

Lol why do you care. No one asked you to not work. You’ll do what you want anyways so why do you care.

Glarkin42 · 2021-09-15T16:06:11+00:00

I expect to provide 100% for my wife, I expect to marry her, I expect her to produce two children and take care of them, I expect to have sex with her regularly.

Correct_Leek_1875 · 2021-09-15T22:14:38+00:00

This comment section is the reason why i hate men lol. I have no shame in saying that. They just proved your point. And i’m fucking disgusted now. I wish i was lesbian sometimes i really do. I may end up alone now. Lol. Life is better without these toxic fucks anyway.

TryLambda · 2021-09-15T17:44:40+00:00

As the old joke goes, when a women makes money its her money, when a man makes money its still her money... its funny cos its true, women will hold finances with a tight fist and would rather spend money on a fancy purse or dress, to show off to other women, than spend it on her partner.

Men are not impressed by career women, as they get zero benefits from them, who wants a masculine woman bossing them around when they get home, that does not know how to cook or nurture a man?

Men are happier in the traditional model of him being the breadwinner and the woman stays at home and looks after the kids, it works better that way, women are more happier too, they get to stay with the children they love, and don't have to deal with bullshit office politics.

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-09-15T18:26:58+00:00

There are men that decry women that have jobs? Show me any man that would decry a single woman having a job or a career. I don't know where you're getting this wildly theoretical situation from. We all got to work.

Now if you're talking about men who would then marry women and then expect them to stay home and raise children while he does the breadwinning that's a different story. Any man that would actually be able to carry that kind of load has got to be making a hundred thousand dollars a year. Being less than that and they're both going to have to work even if she just works part-time.

And then there are men and women who would want the woman to have the children raise them to about 4 years old 5 years old when they start school and then return to work. And I believe this is what most women want to do. Or at least that's what they think they want to do. I also find that after 4 or 5 years of being out of the workforce they might just go and have another kid cuz going back to work seems like a nightmare when they can just stay home as long as they're living standard is reasonable.

Of course and very unfortunately, and this applies to both male and female, if you bail out of your "career" for four or five years you're going to have a very difficult time going back in without somehow proven that you've kept or upgraded your skills during that time.

Most people in very professional high status careers like doctors and lawyers and even teachers have to do some sort of extra training almost every year to stay accredited. Do you really want an oncologist that bailed out of their career for five six seven years coming back and not knowing maybe about the new treatment protocols for certain types of cancer? I think not.

But if you're a woman with a regular job like most people, you shouldn't have that hard of a time finding another job that's similar. You might have to start over again at the lowest pay range but you can still find a job. Of course this is discouraging too which again leads a woman to think maybe she should just have another kid and keep doing the stay at home mom thing.

These are very big choices that women face. The idea that they can do both, at a very high level, is delusional.

Sacrificing some of your career years to have children, or sacrificing having children to keep a career, both have downsides.

Every choice we make requires a commensurate sacrifice. There is no way around this no matter how much we would want to be able to make choices without making sacrifices.

I don't care if the decision is between Burger King or McDonald's. At the end of the day when you make a choice you are sacrificing the other. Unless of course you're one of those high maintenance females that thinks I'd really like McNuggets from McDonald's but I'd really like a Whopper from Burger King, and then insists that you are going to go to both places to get exactly what you want. However you are still then making a sacrifice. Now you are sacrificing resources like fuel and time to achieve both goals. And not only that now you're a high maintenance female and there aren't going to be many men that are going to want to put up with that for very long.

Even in that simple example above I've demonstrated that there is sacrifice in no matter what choice we make. The idea that everyone or anyone can have everything is so far beyond delusion that you probably need to be in the Looney bin.

Having a career or having children are going to require the same amount of time and reasonably the same amount of resources and energy. And you simply don't have enough time resources and energy to do both if you intend to do both things well. Something is going to pay the price. It usually ends up being the children because they are more easily sacrificed. Your employer isn't going to tolerate you putting in 30% so you can give 70 to your children. You will lose that job. So women convince themselves that they are giving 70% of the children and 70% to the job when that's not possible in this space-time continuum.

In reality the children are being sacrificed whether it's the time that she gets to spend with them directly or the time that they spend at daycare or the time that they spend with the nanny while mom's at work.

The world has tried to make it possible but it's not going to be. The only way a woman would be able to achieve those goals as if the man now has to make massive sacrifices. But if he's a high earner she doesn't want him sacrificing his money, that means less money for her and the children.

The only way women can achieve this goal is to hamstring and essentially steal/take the extra time money and resources they need from Men. Big Daddy government takes care of that for the women.

Men are pushed and shamed into being very high in resource gathering and usefulness. They make more money and then are taxed at higher rates and then the government takes that money and gives it to the women under the guise of being in "the best interest of children."

But I don't care about your kids. But that doesn't matter. Are feminist gynocentric governments are taking money out of men's wallets and sneaking it out the back door to the women. The women still aren't going to be able to achieve everything they want it just makes things a little bit easier for them. By making it harder on men. There is no equality and there never will be.

BackgroundAd1657 · 2021-09-15T19:02:22+00:00

The issue isn’t that we don’t want women to work, it’s that women who have careers think that their careers now make them entitled to being with a hot guy who is in the top 10% of earned income. You essentially need to be a woman who is in the top 10% appearance-wise to be with a high earning man who can ensure you never have to worry about any major bills again, and those men don’t care about your career. Men who earn this much and want a traditional wife who will stay home and raise their children, maintain their house, etc will simply find a woman who will fulfill that role.

Your other option is to earn your own income and take care of yourself, or contribute 50/50 to a relationship. No one is “decrying women being in the workforce”, we’re tired of the hypocrisy of women who have a “his money is our money, my money is my money” mentality, and women who think they are entitled to being with some Chad millionaire just because they have a job and look okay.

januaryphilosopher · 2021-09-15T16:06:43+00:00

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aquamanouttawater · 2021-09-15T16:09:35+00:00

Nobody says women shouldn’t work. They just acknowledge that women being able to work has significantly dropped the number of options an average man has in dating. They resent modern women who feel entitled to handouts because they could go work and earn their own money, but would rather enforce the outdated standards that only benefit them.

goneaway2thewind · 2021-09-15T17:34:36+00:00

Men are indifferent to a woman’s career, meaning it doesn’t make them more attractive. That doesn’t mean men are telling them to end their careers.

It’s just a meaningless attribute to the majority of men. A woman listing off those credentials is like a man listing off how many women he had sex with. No one cares

WilliamWyattD · 2021-09-15T17:34:55+00:00

This question is important, but needs to be phrased with a lot more nuance.

I do believe that women want to interact productively with the world outside their domestic sphere. This doesn't mean work necessarily, but the same is true of men. Many jobs are shitty. That said, in today's world, this basically means that most women DO want to work during their lives. Moreover, the geopolitical constraint of competition REQUIRES that competitive countries deploy their female human capital if they want to remain the race. Technological advances combined with lower required birthrates, even for replacement, mean that there simply is not enough truly productive work in a home for women.

However, I believe that at heart the typical woman does not want to work in exactly the same way most men do. Women do want to do more of the child rearing and domestic work, though certainly not all of it. Given this, women want more flexible work and careers that don't disproportionately ghettoize them into the shittiest jobs. And they want financial security such that if relationships break down they are not excessively punished financially compared to if they had worked as long and hard as their male partners at their careers.

So yes, these are issues to address. But if we can get the right answers, I do believe the vast majority of women want to be mothers that invest significantly more time in the domestic sphere than their male partners.

cuckspace · 2021-09-15T18:12:54+00:00

You can either 1) be a traditional woman who gets provided for or 2) be a modern career woman who buys her own food/things and splits the bill. I have no problem with either choice, but you can’t choose both to earn your own money and get a free meal every time.

SeaLevelIQ · 2021-09-15T20:27:01+00:00

Loaded question. Who says women can't work? Seriously, what did I miss? It's not even these ridiculous posts that get me anymore, it's the fact there are people looking at it thinking "hmmm good question, let me upvote it" lol

Ian_Campbell · 2021-09-15T21:30:58+00:00

It seems the same if you're just generalizing different people together incoherently. I also don't have an issue with studying and working, it's just a problem to prop it up in one's life as a false idol. It's bad even for men to be corporate career men but if they suffer to give their family a better life that's one thing. A woman putting off kids or having them and not being there is a bigger problem, for her and the kids.

And yes women should prioritize finding a man who can provide for her to spend time with the kids unless she has a real passion career, or her husband is a rare stay at home dad who would be happy there.

DaphneDK42 · 2021-09-16T03:57:08+00:00

How can you simultaneously expect a female partner not to work and also resent her for asking for money and stuff?

I don't. I respect her for her work with the children and household. She doesn't ask for anything. We have shared economy, if she wants something she buys it. I expect her to budget her expenses so we don't suddenly run out of food towards the end of the month, other than that, I couldn't care less. Money doesn't interest me.

StarchRunner · 2021-09-15T15:39:45+00:00

When will she have time to work, when she has to be on her knees waiting by the door, to be there looking up at me in adoration when I come back for the day? Serving me for 5-6h before I go to bed.

I’m very confused. It’s not that I’m chauvinistic or anything, but between that and breakfast service, I’d hate to take away her remaining free time with a job.

heyitsjeape · 2021-09-15T15:27:31+00:00

I don’t have a problem with a female working. If I were married, I’d rather one person didn’t work. It just depends who earns more. In my limited interactions with females, it seems as though I’ve always earned more or been in that position. That’s why I presuppose I’d be the one supporting them but it’s not a certainty. If neither earned enough for that to be possible then you have to do what you have to do.

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stats135 · 2021-09-15T16:11:55+00:00

First of all, the whole work/career debate only come into play after the marriage. No man has ever said that they want their fuck buddy to be unemployed.

Secondly, no man has ever said they want their wife to be just sitting at home watching netflix. The whole point of having a wife that doesn't focus on her career, is that she can focus on the family. A loving wife in control of the domestic sphere, and a caring mother raising the kids.

When a women focuses on her career, she has to out source the role of a wife and mother. Sure she brings in a paycheck, but its all gonna get spend on paying for restaurants, housekeeping, childcare and the like anyways. Maybe women nowadays just make for a horrible wife and mother. But traditionally, the wife makes a better healthier home cooked meal than take out, takes care of the home better than strangers, and love their children more than the overworked and underpaid daycare workers.

ToughAnswers · 2021-09-15T16:13:58+00:00

Put simply, it's dumb. A modern woman who doesn't work won't suddenly become a traditional woman. She will just be a modern woman who doesn't work.

lonelyjoenly · 2021-09-15T16:23:40+00:00

Is it a significant portion of men who are against women working? And are you sure it's the same men that dislike women being dependant upon a man?

I don't think most guys I know are like that so I kind of wonder whether your perspective may be skewed because only guys who think like that feel the need to tell women how to live and the rest of us just let you do you. Or maybe my perception is skewed because being a man I'm not the target of these mens criticisms.

For me I think the only thing that bothers me is when some women seem to have their cake and eat it. Like if you're self sufficient that's fine but then be self sufficient.

I really hate it when at work some women make out that they NeEd a mAaaAn to do something on the computer for them or lift a box but then the very next day are chatting at their desks all like "I don't need no man".

If you don't need a man then work out your own computer problems and lift your own boxes and while you're at it please refrain from throwing your entire gender under the bus to account for your own damn ignorance and laziness, Karen!

f1vepointoh · 2021-09-15T17:14:38+00:00

Who said we dont want women to work? We just want the real equality you guys say you want but dont actually want. You want your woman perks but ask for equality on top of it. Either you are the same as us or you arent make up your minds.

Bandit174 · 2021-09-15T17:16:45+00:00

I think it's good for women to have careers and make their own money. I can definitely see how not having a career can put them in a situation where they are stuck in an abusive/unsatisfying relationship and don't have the financial means to leave.

What I have a problem with is how certain women have their own careers but still expect the guy to pay for dates and outearn them. I don't like how women seemingly want to opt out of/get rid of traditions that they don't like while continuing to enforce all the ones that men don't like.

SpanishM · 2021-09-15T17:24:53+00:00

That's not what I see. I think you're mixing things up.

What we don't like is women wanting to have it all, 100% of one thing and 100% of the other. It's common sense.

I prefer women who can provide some %. It's better for the two of us.

Ms-Anon-Y-Mous · 2021-09-15T17:37:45+00:00

Have any of you men seen the movie, Mr. Mom? It’s an oldie but goodie. The roles are reversed and the wife goes to work. Michael Keaton finds out very quickly that “just staying at home and just raising the kids and being a homemaker” is a full-time, ultra important “job” too. I don’t think women should stay home and do nothing and let their husbands do all the work but if a woman stays home to raise children and do housework and cook and all the things that homemaking entails, that “job” is equally important to your jobs “ out there”. In fact, raising children to be healthy, happy, well adjusted adults is probably one of the most important jobs on the planet. And to think that some of you believe you can wield your power over a stay-at-home wife when it comes to decision making and sex? Whoaaaaas Nelly. Get over yourselves, please.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-09-15T18:20:55+00:00

Not a man, but I'd like to add to your apt observation of that specific subset of men: They also tend to be the ones who complain about women not genuinely loving them and only seeking them for resources. Well when they're holding such an extreme view (which isn't the same as merely considering the working husband/homemaker wife dynamic as being the best option for them both as individuals and as a couple and thus loosely planning on that with room for flexibility if it turns out not to suit them after all) as you've described above, it will lead to such loveless transactional relationships. I also agree with what u/Lotus_82 said on the matter, especially in regard to the anti-marriage types.

SocietalEngineering · 2021-09-15T18:33:42+00:00

You can work, just understand that that isn’t why I chose you.

BraveNewNight · 2021-09-15T19:29:40+00:00

have a career
have a family

choose one.

For men:

Be a stay at home dad
be a provider

Choose one.

simple.

IAmDefinitelyNotFBI · 2021-09-15T19:43:55+00:00

Imagine actually wanting to be the only one that has to go to soul destroying work and see fucking Tanya and Phil every day. Selfcucked.

no_user_ID_found · 2021-09-15T20:08:29+00:00

A lot of guys don’t care for your career, the problem lies with careerdriven woman’s expectations. they want the career driven guy and kids and a social life and everything.

You can’t have it both ways, two careers will not make good parents. If you are the career driven woman you need to accept a guy that’s less career driven and wants to take care of the kids, and there is nothing wrong with a guy wanting this by the way. Which probably means he will be making less than you and it means you are going to be the main provider as a woman.

moosemc · 2021-09-15T20:32:01+00:00

That's just old coots and a few loons.

I think, the bigger question is, Why are you pretending this exists?

Z285 · 2021-09-15T20:33:29+00:00

They should have careers/work.

michael1962-01 · 2021-09-15T20:36:17+00:00

If she is pretty and has a own trust fund the problem is solved

roaming_bartender · 2021-09-15T23:38:40+00:00

I'm not against her working, I'm against her pursuing a career when kids are in the picture. If she wants to help with finances, a part time job for when kids are in school works great, extra income and leaves the main responsibility of child rearing above a job that leaves the children behind. Its really just that simple. Did you have kids? Make sure your work and husband allows them to be your priority in life

Title	[Q4M] If you don’t want women to have careers/work, what do you expect them to do to obtain money, resources, and meet their needs?
Author	questionasker012
Upvotes	109
Comments	483
Date	September 15, 2021 3:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pos8rk/q4m_if_you_dont_want_women_to_have_careerswork/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-if-you-dont-want-women-to-have-careerswork.1070283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1070283

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