Do the men in here that struggle to get laid not have any women in there social circles?

HazyMemory7 · 2022-12-06T21:29:40+00:00

I did when I was struggling. Having women in your social circle doesn't mean anything if girls generally don't find you desirable lol

Salty_Rate_1987 · 2022-12-06T23:48:35+00:00

Being friendly and sociable isn't enough. Those are great, but you'll still eat a bunch of rejection as a man.

I have many women friends, including sisters, and they're generally oblivious to what being a man is actually like. We did a bumble comparison and it was night and day.

Hung with a group of 4 women at a bar, they all complained all night about not getting dates. All late 30s. 2 of them already had dates lined up for later that night from bumble. Still, several guys approached our table at the bar and got several of their numbers. All 4 went home with guys that night. None had much sympathy for my 2 strikeouts that night - both attempts with women who made googly eyes at me across the room and who the women in my group encouraged me to talk to. The game is significantly different. Even being outgoing and in safe company (4 wingwomen) it's often an uphill climb

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-12-06T18:41:24+00:00

Pretty much. Once you are done with school, relocate maybe, your friend circle can be very small and start to be the same people every time. The pandy hasn't helped.

Sometimes it's luck and circumstance. My first job, everyone was super friendly and many ended up dating each other. Second job in a different city; everyone is stressed and tired and not just unfriendly but actually discourteous. Sometimes it's a coin flip where you end up.

Salkinov · 2022-12-06T23:53:13+00:00

I'm in a mixed friend circle. Almost all my male friends are virgins despite getting along well with the women in our circle. Literally all women have a boyfriend and had several boyfriends before. None of the guys are ugly, some are just a bit shy around girls they don't know. One is a bit too nice (friend zone stereotype guy). I'm one of the few exceptions being in a LTR for several years. Honestly my friends are the best example for men being absolutely invisible in everyday life. If you don't actively try you will not find someone.

toasterchild · 2022-12-06T18:37:12+00:00

Socially awkward people tend to hang out with other socially awkward people, then they all think they are totally average guys and don't get it. If being comfortable socially was easy for everyone this subreddit wouldn't exist.

KlingKlangKing · 2022-12-06T19:19:17+00:00

If you act normal and can converse with women

This is why. If you have an NT personality, look decent and are not getting laid, you're a volc*l.

I can't get laid because I have social anxiety

Brief_Crab_3710 · 2022-12-06T22:04:22+00:00

I’m poor lol

Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 · 2022-12-06T18:32:30+00:00

I don't have any or know any, and I have no idea where to meet any. Anyway, seems like thats friendzone 101. As a guy in STEM field, it's basically been a sausage fest for me since college. I work with 99% men, and it seems like most meet-up groups are also 99% men

KingWhoCared86 · 2022-12-06T18:56:23+00:00

My social circle is 90% women and I still can’t get laid. To be fair, I’m starting to think if I just asked I’d have a decent shot.

TravelerSF · 2022-12-06T19:57:28+00:00

I have one female friend, but have always come along well with women throughout my life. It has not helped. In university, I was the only man in a class full of women. No luck.

If you do your best to look good, be positive, friendly and have a smile on your face I don’t understand how someone could never get laid. I get that some people have very unattractive facial features or severe mental health issues and are essentially doomed but that’s a very small percentage of guys. If you act normal and can converse with women while doing your best to look presentable I truly don’t understand how someone could never get laid?

You are basing this off what? A gut feeling? I would argue that the actual number is much bigger than a "small percentage". Just regular non-ideal features can disqualify you. Throw just a couple of them together and you're hopelessly doomed. Anecdotally, I'm overweight, balding with a bad head shape and kinda poor skin, which has been plenty enough to shut me off from dating and relationships.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-12-06T18:33:46+00:00

I will quote the typical guy here: "I'm a loner, I don't like drinking so I don't go to bars, I don't like loud music so I don't go to clubs or concerts, I don't have any friends, all my hobbies are solitary and way too nerdy for the average person. I have no idea why I am not meeting any women."

eth_trader_12 · 2022-12-06T19:45:24+00:00

Because most people form their social circles at an earlier age. I bet most of your friends you didn't meet as strangers so this post is a horrible strawman. Most women are scared of strangers unless the interaction happens at already scheduled events. And within this current economy and tons of options that exist online for women, a lot of people don't have the time for that

Due-Lie-8710 · 2022-12-06T18:39:19+00:00

a lot of people don't have friends and its not just men

CLyD3_H3ffalump · 2022-12-06T19:59:02+00:00

"Yeah, so get out there and hope for the best" This isn't something a man can just simply do, least of all in 2022. I don't know why so many guys go through the hassle? Just lose that chip on your shoulder about oaying for sex, fulfill that need for a night, keep it moving. The women will be happier since we're all trash apparently, and you'll get sex. Don't cry about, "but she's not into me for me, what if I really like her!" You paid for a need, got the need meet, what're doing crying about it.

debatelord_1 · 2022-12-06T23:19:58+00:00

Yeah I have female friends. What does that have to do with getting laid?

AshyBoneVR4 · 2022-12-07T00:56:23+00:00

Women in your social circle have little to nothing to do with dudes getting laid. Especially if you're anywhere passed 25.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-12-06T19:05:01+00:00

Y’all overestimate the social circle thing. I’ve literally never dated a woman within the same group of friends i normally hang around. But I also date all the time. If you have to be known for a prolonged period of time to be seen as attractive, then you likely aren’t as attractive as you could be.

HighestTierMaslow · 2022-12-06T18:37:50+00:00

I have read this forum alot. My opinion is that men that complain they want casual sex and cannot get it have one of these factors

Introversion. Its a numbers game. They dont want to put forth the effort to come across women and make a move.
They shoot too high for looks.

SolidusMonkey · 2022-12-06T21:45:28+00:00

I have a bunch of friends in general, and some good female friends as well. I'm confused about why you think having platonic female friends has anything at all to do with getting laid. They're two entirely different things; nothing about "acting normal and conversing with women" implies that you can get laid. The skillset to get friends vs laid/dates/etc is entirely different.

And as an aside, I've actually found that women these days, rather than wingmanning you, will actually specifically forbid you from interacting with their friends in a romantic context. I was once explicitly told "Hey you're gonna be meeting my roommate Jessica tonight AND YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO HIT ON HER" even though I'm just a completely normal and polite person, not some fuckboi or whatever.

The thinking seems to be along the lines of "If I introduce John to Jane, and they hit it off, but then they break up, the awkwardness will be too much for me to deal with, so I'll do what I can to avoid them meeting in a romantic context."

DryOutcome3407 · 2022-12-06T18:58:32+00:00

Post their jawlines. Jk.

Btw just having a women in your circle of friends do not make you more likely to have laid, in fact it's detrimental. A women who knows you will aways be there will put no effort in trying for you as a relationship, you'll just become their benchmark of a future relationship and once they're unable to find something better (they will) you get a chance.

If looking the best you can, smiling and being friendly was enough to grant you a relationship in 2022 inceldom would not be in the rise.

The chance your group of friends is good looking is high, just saying.

KayRay1994 · 2022-12-06T20:20:52+00:00

Here’s the difficulty a lot of the time - a lot of the guys on here are more often than not some form of neurodivergent, autism likely takes the bulk of it - and while that doesn’t mean you’re doomed, it means you’ll have a tougher time - and this stems from even having a tougher time making friends, socializing, meeting girls, etc - fact is, if you’re socialized to think you’re an awkward weirdo you’ll internalize it - so “just get girls in your social circle” isn’t viable because lots of people here struggle with developing a social circle to begin with - on top of this, it’s tough to get girls in your social circle if your circle consists of guys who are just like you.

Yes, I do believe a lot of the beliefs in this sub are bogus, and that there is this huge cloak of negativity, but these are born of issues that need a lot of work to fix, and one thing i’ve learned that the road towards fixing it is lonely, and the road toward getting socially adjusted when you’re at a place where where you can confidently socialize is a lot of practice in itself.

Lots of work needs to be done to just get in these circles, and that requires a change in behavior, internal beliefs, etc - lots of internal shit needs to be addressed with lots of people in this sub, so your pov, while born of innocence, is prob more discouraging than anything else

NockerJoe · 2022-12-06T19:27:08+00:00

Most of the women I meet that way just don't work. I get the distinct impression some people see me as charity dick for women who can't find a dude, or a tool to make a female friend happier. Most of these women I never really have any chemistry with and theres an expectation that I ought to go for it solely because we're both single.

Meeting women via social circle only really work if your social circle has not just women, but also single women in your age range that theres some kind of mutual attraction and chemistry with.

NotSureAboutThatLike · 2022-12-06T20:42:38+00:00

I have social anxiety and aspergers. I come across as a simple or "special" person. I've only ever had success in South East Asia where there is a huge language gap which can somewhat mask my awkwardness. I deeply want to connect with women in my country, but I'm starting to think I'll never be able to.

SaltBurnsWhenHot · 2022-12-07T01:31:50+00:00

I have alot of women in my social circles, but I struggle to get laid because I'm very ugly.

jpla86 · 2022-12-07T05:10:14+00:00

Making female friends as a guy isn't easy unless you're already a guy with decent social skills. I struggle to get laid because I'm unattractive, it's as simple as that.

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-12-07T06:14:34+00:00

Most of my friends are girls. They are all taken and all of their friends are taken.

Life's a joke, let me tell ya.

BehaviouralSc1ence · 2022-12-06T18:43:37+00:00

No female friends - No girlfriends Most men meet spouses through female friends.

Anykindofland · 2022-12-06T19:44:54+00:00

If you do your best to look good, be positive, friendly and have a smile on your face I don’t understand how someone could never get laid.

Those things don't matter if you are not hot enough to make them count. A social, talkive guy with average to below average looks will either be seen as creepy (because all men that are not hot enough for the Halo Effect are creepy my default) or he will be the jester of the group. Funny guys don't fuck, they are there to pick up the pieces after the latest pump and dump.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-12-06T20:44:20+00:00

It's not zero women in social circle, it's very few single attractive young kid free women in my social circle during my 20s

Could I get laid by hitting up the obese single mom apart of my social group who just heard I graduated university? Sure but I don't want to risk spoiling my social group for something obviously not going to work out.

It's not black or white. It's not no women or endless women. It's simply a lack of reasonable options.

Why? Because young attractive kid free women get scooped up fast, and the guys that trying to get her, don't bring her around their guy friends until they are dating

Tramelo · 2022-12-06T18:48:59+00:00

I don't have social circle

lolthankstinder · 2022-12-06T19:33:45+00:00

M27 here. Currently in a relationship. I get a decent amount of attention on dating apps (and met my girlfriend on Tinder). Tons of women in my social circles (I dance as a hobby). No mental health issues. No unattractive facial features. Average height.

I was in a 2 year relationship that ended and was single for about 6 months before I met my current girlfriend. (I tend to stick to relationships because “getting laid” is just not really a thing). I’ve had several attractive women “make themselves available” (keep in mind women NEVER approach, they make the guys risk exposure to awkwardness and put themselves out there). It’s hard to explain, but you can just sort of tell when a woman is making herself available, especially when that window of availability closes and you see a lot of difference in your interactions and stuff.

The first was a very attractive blonde, but I was still with my ex. Even if I wasn’t, she resembles my sister and was JUST out of relationship so very emotionally vulnerable. I also learned later that she’s very focused on dating to marry.

The second categorized me as more of a relationship guy and didn’t want to “add me to her roster” (of several men she was casually sleeping with).

The third did not want sex before commitment, and would only consider me for a relationship.

The fourth and fifth were 20 and felt a little too young.

The sixth is a very all-around beautiful and sweet woman the same age as me, and I would’ve LOVED to hook up but she only came onto me when she was drunk and I didn’t want to take advantage of her.

The seventh was sorta attractive but I wasn’t that into her and didn’t want to lead her on or just use her for sex.

The eighth I didn’t even know was into me until I saw how she reacted when meeting my girlfriend (who I was casual with at the time).

So I know a lot of people want to assume that all men having issues getting casual sex are ugly, troubled incels or something, but that’s just not the case. Unless I’m willing to have sex with girls SEVEN years younger than me not even out of college, deceive women into thinking I want a relationship, or go for women when they are drunk or vulnerable, then it’s very very difficult to get casual sex as a guy unless you are very physically attractive. I ultimately gave up even looking for casual sex and just stick to relationships. The sex tends to be more consistent and pleasurable anyways, especially when you can really trust a woman on birth control and have sex without a condom. It’s also easier to deviate away from vanilla stuff when you have consistent sex with someone.

Stop trying to blame the casual sex gap on men. It’s not men lol.

thataveragedude1 · 2022-12-07T09:02:10+00:00

As someone who hardly has any friends at all but has gotten lucky a few times, I’ve learned not to expect anything out of anybody. There are times where things don’t go anywhere, sometimes you gain a new friendship and sometimes you get lucky. Just be respectful, charming in your own way and be open minded!

Agent_441 · 2022-12-07T10:49:30+00:00

Lol looks is the main factor. Females really don’t care about his “personality” and that’s proven by many fields of study. Chad experiments prove that the only reason the average and below guys can’t get sex is cause of their looks. But that’s when you have to rely on money or social power. Lol Ive chad experimented and I can say I could talk to 11 plus girls at once and majority fell in love with me and was willing to meet up and have sex but ofc I didn’t meet up so the fact is I talked how I usually would even sometimes very risky conversations and they all loved it when I was chad. But when I was myself the difference was night and day. I will say I’ve had gf’s and hookups before so don’t want anyone saying I’m a virgin haha but yeah the fact is most men don’t get love solely on their looks regardless of personality. So to wrap this up, females are the reason why marriage is failing, courtship is failing, family structure is failing and in general society in the west is failing. Extreme hypergamy is the death of a healthy society with a good family structure.

davross-deja-vu · 2022-12-07T11:04:34+00:00

Your talking about the end result of a process with many steps and everything could be going fine until that very last eye to eye contact with a kiss and the final steps towards the bedroom, lots of things go wrong, and if enough disappointments happen guys loose confidence and just think they cant do it and so don't try, and if they really need to get off, a hooker will do, and if not, they just watch porn and forget real life females even exist, after a while they get use to living this way, reality is so complicated its easier to just not deal with it, and its not about attractiveness its a skill like any other, and honestly guys today cant be bothered learning it, truth bomb.

AtCloseRange94 · 2022-12-07T15:54:12+00:00

Having female friends doesn’t get you laid. They don’t want to sleep with you. Nor do they want you hitting on their friends.

Having a homie with a gf is a whole other topic since she has a vested interest in getting you also a gf (and not have her bf be around a single dude).

redback-spider · 2022-12-06T20:18:38+00:00

A guy that is looking good, be positive, act normal and can converse with women.

You describe here around maybe 20% of the male population, even if I would give you 50% there would still be the other 50%.

Can we also agree that besides some exceptions he has to have at least a job and not at Mc Donalds ideally.

And you said it even they only get a girlfriend, that means they have very very few options so they have to take what they get and don't have the luxery to go away if she does something shitty, that might even include fat girlfriends you did not say anything about the quality of that women.

With the sexist laws they are just waiting for the 7 year divorce with then very limited if at all access to the children...

KommandaKoopa · 2022-12-06T19:24:25+00:00

I ignore everyone.

wutaab · 2022-12-06T19:52:19+00:00

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-12-06T19:58:33+00:00

Being socially accepted and feigning aesthetics and status are no guarantee for coitus. Sometimes it’s sheer luck, sometimes all the fixes are a sorry veneer that women see through.

abaxeron · 2022-12-06T21:54:23+00:00

If you act normal and can converse with women while doing your best to look presentable I truly don’t understand how someone could never get laid?

I once suggested a common acquaintance to a girl complaining to me that she's single.

She responded with "Look, I know you think I'm a piece of shit not worthy of anything good in life; but to this extent?"

The guy's two most obvious disadvantages from my pov were acne and red hair.

RegTextoffender · 2022-12-06T22:58:30+00:00

If you do your best to look good, be positive, friendly and have a smile on your face

Most of the guys have either mental issues (my brother for example) or are just socially awkward.

Added there needs to be a bit of aggressiveness if the guy isn't really good looking, you have to show your intent, something a lot of guys struggle with either because they are too nice or to hamfisted.

UneastAji · 2022-12-06T23:04:44+00:00

No they don't, they're rejected from mixed social circles and bullied by the men. Because if they enter the mixed social circles, the women leave and it's a net negative for the men in it.

Being able to enter mixed social circles without making the girls quit it, and have them be your friend too, is a good indicator that you are capable to land a girlfriend.

be positive, friendly and have a smile on your face

That's heavily insufficient. you need to be flirty, sexual, have an apparent interesting person, be forward and assertive... otherwise you'll be treated like a woman by women. It takes years for some men to learn to gauge these things right without making women consider you asexual or making them run away. Women don't have this kind of attitude to develop.

I get that some people have very unattractive facial features or severe mental health issues and are essentially doomed but that’s a very small percentage of guys.

OKcupid girls rated 80% of okcupid guys as unattractive, so it's not a very small percentage.

BigGaynk · 2022-12-06T23:26:26+00:00

I gave up on dating in my early 20's

odd_cloud · 2022-12-07T04:10:59+00:00

Is it really that simple in your opinion, like “1) act normal, converse. 2) get laid”? I wish it worked like that for me.

I see it somewhat differently: 1) be attractive enough so that a good number of women consider you as a potential option 2) act normal, converse 3) notice that a woman is somewhat interested in you 4) express your sexual interest in the right time and the right form 5) get laid

I think, many otherwise normal guys have the problem with points 3 and 4. It’s like there is a woman around you are interested in, but not sure what to do with it and whether she will be offended if you do something.

I just want to ask, do you really have no problem with expressing your interest? How do you know what you need to do? Is it something natural or did you learn somehow? How are you confident she won’t be offended by you expressing interest?

Ducks_Are_Watching · 2022-12-07T04:12:40+00:00

Can't speak for others, but I do. I have more female friends than male ones.

However if they introduce me to someone or I meet them through circumstance, their friends and I usually get along and I even sometimes make new friendships, but dating is almost never an option because they clearly don't find me physically attractive. Same can be said for when I asked friends to set me up.

At the end of the day looks are always the deal breaker.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-12-07T12:38:08+00:00

Most guys struggling to get laid, it's because they're married.

Anti_Thing · 2022-12-07T16:04:17+00:00

I don't believe in sex outside of marriage, but I can say that I "struggle to get laid" in that I'm struggling to find a wife.

There are plenty of women in my social circles. I've asked several of them out over the years & they've all rejected me. I'm not exceptionally ugly but I have NVLD (more or less like mild Autism). I'm naturally a boring, awkward, introverted person with no interesting hobbies. It's rare for me to get attention from women, & on top of that I'm a devout Christian & hardcore right-winger in an extremely secular & progressive social environment. All of these factors together reduce my options to almost nothing. I've met women who I find attractive & share my values; they've all rejected me. I think I've had chemistry with women before, but for the most part they didn't share my values so I didn't ask them out. Of course I know a few women who share my values but that I'm not attracted to.

n3waccount2020 · 2022-12-06T18:40:25+00:00

handsome but socially isolated dude here. Most of my girlfriends from highschool and college were from social circles, but depressive isolation, wfh post pandemic, and friends moving away in their early 20s has left me reliant on OLD. I should really hit the bars more often.

averagedude4 · 2022-12-06T20:07:39+00:00

My male friends have girlfriends and we are always going out on weekends together and have parties with 50/50 Ratio. It helps for social proof but I’m still not good enough looking/interesting enough to have women interested or sexually attracted.

throwawayforreason67 · 2022-12-06T19:03:25+00:00

Having women friends mostly means you are useful to have around. They have no investment in getting you laid. They have nothing to gain from that and also don't understand what dating as a guy is like especially an average or below one, so i doubt their ability to actually help anyway.

_demidevil_ · 2022-12-06T20:14:12+00:00

I have two things to contribute. Just to clarify I am very much NOT Red Pill but….

You sound like you are able to perform neurotypically. This means you are able to “fit in” among the socially dominant neurotype, who shape the social landscape. The fact you think someone must be doomed from mental health difficulties to not be able to hold friendships shows such enormous privilege on your part, and also a severe lack of understanding of the diversity of the human minds around you. It is actually incredibly difficult for many people to be accepted socially. I am afraid to tell you - you have it very easy. Count your blessings. Perfectly acceptable valuable people can end up as loners because neurotypical people are incredibly exclusionary and conformist.

HOWEVER… where I agree with the title is this - a lot of men do have male friends, but they don’t have women in their social circles because they do not see women as people who are equal to them. They do not see them separate from their “sexual value”. They aren’t interested in women they don’t want to sleep with and don’t bother making friends with them. They view woman almost as another species. These are men that are socially able to make and maintain friendships, they just see women as sex objects so they never get to know them unless there’s an immediate sexual attraction. Thus they don’t get to find out what it’s like to become attracted to someone you hadn’t seen in that way previously. They never give a real chance for attraction to happen because they go based on initial visual alone. Tbh, if men don’t see women as people who might be valuable friends, they don’t deserve sex so I don’t think we need to worry about them.

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Transmigratory · 2022-12-07T11:13:24+00:00

I guarantee if you look, you'll find that the men in here that struggle have some things in common i.e. belong to, or align with, a certain group that says unless you change certain biological factors (skin colour, height, the shape of their jaw, face etc -- go as comical as you'd like). That probably will automatically answer your question too.

FaithlessnessNo2495 · 2022-12-06T22:53:38+00:00

Incels can’t laid because they have no social skills. They’re just chronically online keyboard warriors

fourenclosedwalls · 2022-12-07T14:15:43+00:00

I’m in a very female dominated career field so I’m surrounded by women most of the time. Nearly all my friends are women and I’m used to being the only man in the room. Hasn’t really helped me. I believe it’d been about 4 years since i slept with someone. I think part of the problem is that everyone thinks I’m gay.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-12-06T20:49:10+00:00

My guess is no.

Most men on here are socially inept but try to claim they’re introverted, not realized being a hermit is not introversion.

The way these men whine about sex all day makes me think if they managed to get a woman friend, they’d really just be cosplaying friendship in the hopes of screwing her. If they’ve had any, they’ve probably scared them away because actual friendship is of no interest to them. Ramming their dick in someone is.

Or the other hilarious answer, that will make it pretty clear why they can’t get laid. They have NO social circle. Men or women. And you’ll realize a person spent over two decades in this planet and absolutely no one wants to be around them. At all. Ask yourself why that is. NO ONE, likes them. They just only care about sex so they whine about women.

All my guy friends have a circle of men and women and all can get laid.

festethefoole1 · 2022-12-06T19:51:08+00:00

So I’m a good one to speak on the subject as whilst I’ve bedded 12 women this year, 11 of them were from online dating and the other was whilst on holiday abroad.

I may be successful with women but I sincerely believe I’d still be a virgin were it not for the dating apps because (although I’m an extroverted social person who goes out a lot) I simply don’t meet women beyond the odd night out and certainly don’t make female friends.

Here’s why:

I went to an all-boys school.
I went to university a virgin and so hung around either the nerdy guys or played sports with other guys
I met women, had friendly conversations with them, hung out with them and so on and so forth, but only at a surface level.

By my mid-twenties I was still a virgin, had no female friends and from there? Well? Women have already made their friends.

Women don’t want to make friends with men. They have their circle of friends.

The only female friends I have are girls I’ve been FWB with from dating apps and there’s been a mutual gentle fading of interest.

In my experience if a girl doesn’t want to fuck, she doesn’t want to be your friend neither. Well, not mine at least.

Women gain nothing from being “friends” with a man. You can’t “make friends” with women at this age. Friendships form in places where you’re thrust together with people and if you go to an all-boys school and are so inexperienced with women that you end up (not avoiding them or anything) but just never naturally forming a friendship with them at uni then your chance has largely gone.

MistyMaisel · 2022-12-07T01:58:42+00:00

The typical guy saying this is someone who has accidentally (or more often by choice) created an isolated life. Their job is not very social. Their hobbies are solitary, not terribly social, and very male-dominated. Their interests range from pedantic know-it-all magnets to esoteric dodo-bird last of its species (assuming they have any, many don't). They rarely go out and if they do, it's not to places you'd interact with women or if they do, they're going to skeeve them out. Their ideas about women are almost exclusively formed from what happened in high-school, how their mother treated their father, and what they see in porn every day. Most importantly, almost all of them will say they don't like small-talk or feeling the imposition of others' expectations and needs of them....

It's not surprising that they don't get women with this being the case. They almost never meet them, if they did, they wouldn't know how to interact with them or hold their interest, and the actively despise the whole process of interaction and caring about people. You are hearing myopic self-centeredness and perhaps accidental isolation speaking. But the problem will never be them.

judge_me_harshly · 2022-12-06T19:13:55+00:00

The 2 women in my social circle are more like guys than women. Recently, it's just a lack of patience. I feel disgust at a lot of women's conversation styles so I haven't even tried getting laid. Just overhearing two girly girls talking at a bar makes me want to jump head first out a window.

Why would a warm wet hole make up for that level of disgust?

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-12-06T19:47:14+00:00

No I don't have any female friends in my social circle. I don't see how having friends with women is going to lead to me losing my virginity.

14ers4days · 2022-12-07T02:08:58+00:00

These guys never leave their rooms. They don't have social circles.

Gilmoregirlin · 2022-12-06T19:48:02+00:00

I often find myself asking this question too. I think a lot of it is lack of social interaction in general.

KingOfTheIncels_ · 2022-12-06T23:30:37+00:00

I think my greatest issue and the core reason I'm still a virgin is just that I don't socialise enough.

Dstar538888 · 2022-12-07T02:54:44+00:00

I'd like to see the comments to this question lol because every other post in this subreddit seems to be some guy complaining about not getting sex lmao

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-12-06T19:57:09+00:00

They’re all taken or whores that I wouldn’t touch with ur dick

Mysterious-Pay-3554 · 2022-12-06T20:08:26+00:00

My dear husband was very introverted, and I kind of had to "scoop him out of his shell." He's a high six figure earner who is 6'3, but verrrrry shy, and he always told me he hung out with other shy dudes. I think guys tend to not know where to socialize with women, so here are some advice I would have given him in his twenties:

Get a dog and walk it outside. Instant babe magnet. Shows you care, are good parent candidate, and fun.

Get a gender-equal hobby like a makerspace, or local theater, an intramural sports team, or book club. I met a lot of nice guys on Meetup! I met my husband on Meetup.

Join a church, synagogue, temple, anywhere, or go to interfaith groups, if you are religious.

Museums, bookstores, and coffeeshops are great places to softly, kindly approach women with similar interests! I always felt safer talking to them there.

Karaoke at local bars is always fun! You can meet a lot of chill, pretty town ladies that way, or locals.

Go to the gym, do classes there, or join a hiking or cycling group that also has women.

Do yoga or take a zumba class. You will be one of the few men, and we will love your company!

Don't carry a chip on your shoulder. There is most certainly a wonderful woman out there for you, but if you don't shoot your shot, or remove yourself from the dating pool by never leaving the house and playing video games... won't work.

If you like nerdy girls, joining an RPG group, tabletop group, SCA or LARP group, reenactment group is a great way to meet us. Also, lots of girls love guys who are into anime.

Travel outside your comfort zones. Study or work abroad. Go to language lessons or salsa dance practice with cute new girls. Seems to work wonders for my brother.

AtCloseRange94 · 2022-12-07T18:19:29+00:00

28, I also find it hilarious how incels in here are trying to tell me how it is 😂😂

bottleblank · 2022-12-06T18:58:43+00:00

I don't really have a social circle any more, I did when I was a teenager, but I never found myself in a relationship despite others going on around me. Sometimes uncomfortably close to me. Very inconsiderately. And enthusiastically.

SoleMatesC4S · 2022-12-06T20:24:15+00:00

My social circles are overflowing with women. Hell, I work with models on a regular basis.
Can't date 'em if they ain't single, and the vast majority of 'em ain't single.

Think_History_5682 · 2022-12-06T20:31:57+00:00

As someone who has a large social circle of men and women most single and who has had sex with and dated a few

It's a tricky situation women nearly always want a LTR in exchange for sex creating an awkward situation and it usually happens that the woman leaves because she's spurned

Same thing with dating a friend except much worse it usually splits the friend group up between factions

Sinkagu · 2022-12-06T21:59:37+00:00

Well I’m in here because I see some interesting post sometimes. But I’m in a relationship so this doesn’t apply to me. But I would say being friends with women got bad because 60 to 70% would 1: wanna try to convince me to leave my gf and be with them and 2: they just want me to have sex with them and cheat. So it has been hard finding female friends the last 3 years. They all claim they don’t believe I have a gf because I “act” single. And then when I explain to why we’ll if I was single why haven’t I slepted with them. They all just point to I’m playing games or playin with their feelings. Your either likable or not. I remember everyone was telling me it’s hard to stay loyal in college but luckily no women have attempted anything!

Kobe_curry24 · 2022-12-06T22:22:36+00:00

At some point it either clicks you need pussy or it doesn’t and after you learn the hard way then the regret comes in

LosingMyFocus · 2022-12-06T22:22:40+00:00

I’m just waiting till marriage 🤷🏻‍♂️

2022-12-06T22:47:19+00:00

If ur fat and on a dating app, and a male, u wont get matches. You need to maxx urself and pics out before using dating apps

Wonderful-Job6409 · 2022-12-06T23:35:55+00:00

99% percent of my friends are women but at 22 I’ve never had an actual date it’s hard to find someone who doesn’t see my wheelchair first

possiblyacanoflysol · 2022-12-06T23:44:13+00:00

I have plenty of female friends. I’m not a social person but I know how to talk to people for the most part. I’d say I’m just incredibly unlucky with women. Plus, I prioritize other parts of my life over relationships.

DonutSwitch · 2022-12-06T23:57:51+00:00

I have had women in my social circle and had dates. They never work out.

The only time it works out for me is if I tell them straight up I want to pound them. I'll ask them too.

syndactylity · 2022-12-07T00:27:46+00:00

Yup

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/xs195c/for_the_single_guys_how_lonely_are_you_not_having/

Top comments: “I don’t have friends either”

Shocked. I am shocked

RabidusRex · 2022-12-07T02:03:35+00:00

You could be good looking, kind, smart, funny.... but if you are poor, those things barely even matter.

no_spoon · 2022-12-07T03:09:10+00:00

What’s a ‘social circle’?

Nihi1986 · 2022-12-07T04:01:37+00:00

My social circles are inconsistent or better said, I'm the one who is inconsistent. Your theory is 100% true. My previous relationships and even some hook ups, all of them cause I decided to go out and socialize a bit and because a female friend was around to bring her friends and invite me to the event.

'just be there' theory.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2022-12-07T05:55:21+00:00

I lost my virginity to a girl that basically jumped me but it was rare for a woman to make it that easy for me to get laid.

At minimum I had to recognize when I was being flirted with and flirt back and probably would have get brave and do something or say something to get us the next step closer to sex.

I was shy about asking for what I wanted. Even if you spend a lot of time with women if you don’t try to get sex or romance you probably won’t be getting sex. Cowards won’t get much sex.

Remarkable_Stop5025 · 2022-12-07T06:05:23+00:00

In my case there hasn't been the opportunity over the last few years. It has been about 4 years since I have ended up talking to a new person and we ended up spending time semi private.

I have my group of friends and we don't see each other enough, then there is work where we keep things profession. There is the gym and there I don't really talk more than the easy meet and greet.

Although I see myself as pretty social, outgoing, attractive and fun loving, meeting new people is rare (although my friend group has girls, they are either sister zoned or in forever relationships).

I am completely OK with the situation, but it would be nice to meet a new person every once in a while organically

scwizard · 2022-12-07T06:57:28+00:00

I have friends who are girls in my social circles.

SocialSanityy · 2022-12-07T07:31:56+00:00

My anxiety, I’m an attractive guy, have lots of friends female and male. But my anxiety will literally ruin all my chances of getting laid. Don’t get me wrong I still get laid, but it’s very far, few and in between. Not a creepy dude either I understand social context and boundaries just fine, it’s literally my anxiety just has a strong aversion to women due to negative thought patterns. It’s the worst man, the absolute worst

Immoral_devil · 2022-12-07T08:12:47+00:00

It’s because most girls (like 90% seemingly) have boyfriends. This information comes to light from conversations not from me asking them out or anything

West-Ad-9697 · 2022-12-07T10:50:45+00:00

Well they do - those are your friends.

I agree with the advice - just going out and being resonably fit and you still get something during last call.

Yes, there are compounding factors and such... but I would like to rephrase it.

Why is it moral for women to have profoudly sexually frustrated guy friends and not just give them a blowie once a month or on their birthday?

Not joking. Speaking of female empowerment and do what you want with your body. How is any heterosexual woman with a male friend defending her inaction?

Not speaking about conservative women, women that value sex as something special. That's all fair points.

But if you are the type of woman that does random hookups, and knows sometimes sex is just bad and you regret giving that guy a shot. Why doesn't it cross your mind to do more with guys you know, with men that you call your friends?

(ironically it was a woman that raised this point to me when we were talking about a girl friend of a obviously smitten shy guy - that she had the audacity to call a friend without any lack of irony or pity - as if talking about how asexual she sees him is a praise of the poor boy)

serendipitybot · 2022-12-07T11:39:13+00:00

This submission has been randomly featured in /r/serendipity, a bot-driven subreddit discovery engine. More here: /r/Serendipity/comments/zez14x/do_the_men_in_here_that_struggle_to_get_laid_not/

Karmanger · 2022-12-07T12:01:22+00:00

Maybe if the men are struggling here, they might do better overseas, western women are brutal….and they have a low veil of misandry you can feel with every interaction at first.

Perrenekton · 2022-12-07T12:04:09+00:00

I can probably find a ONS / GF easier than I can find a girl friend

Latter_Adagio8945 · 2022-12-07T13:21:33+00:00

My female friends mostly like me. If they don’t like me, I don’t bother being friends with them mostly. Sometimes they liked me and are in a relationship. Or geography is in the way. But they all like me. Or liked me.

I don’t think most women are very good at respecting men they’re not interested in being with or have lost interest in. I feel respect and attraction tend to be connected more often than not. I would say non sexual relationships with women who aren’t super smart tend not to last for me. Ie they might be attracted at first. We might kiss. But the friendship won’t last.

Post sleeping with a girl I’ve found to be a different game.

I do fine on dating apps and fine in real life although my dating app matches are generally less attractive than me in person. I think my issues are.

A: being friends with women I liked who didn’t respect me redpilled me. Even got with the one I wanted most briefly. Terrible woman and I see flashes of her in almost all women. Luckily it’s just flashes. But, the new generation has been aculturated to be more like her - and generally red pill awareness has made me immune to women like her when I used to get crushes on girls with similar traits to her.

Also meeting your look match has become harder although it’s certainly possible.

It was a rude awakening in my early twenties and teens flubbing dates with my look matches because I had no game.

And then getting game and rarely being able to meet/fall for/date my look match because of changes in the social and dating landscape (and hence why hard cold approach is being pushed now)

And also the anti male/European descended male push in the workplace as well as modern marriage laws and a host of other male issues that don’t pertain directly to casual m/semi casual attraction.

Think_gawd · 2022-12-07T15:29:50+00:00

Is OP like 22? Or like 15? Y’all don’t know shit and then act surprised.

AtCloseRange94 · 2022-12-07T16:51:43+00:00

They do not believe in co-ed friendships particularly those with an attractive woman

CornsX · 2022-12-07T22:22:13+00:00

Reading this post is like taking body shots.

RIchardjCranium · 2022-12-08T00:02:13+00:00

In 40 years I can count on one hand and have fingers left over all the times a female friend or acquaintance tried to hook me up with someone. That speaks on how they view me.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-12-08T00:12:09+00:00

Yeah what the fuck post is this? If it were only so easy to have the bare minimum bar of having the opposite sex in your social circle. Why didn't I think of that!

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2022-12-08T00:30:11+00:00

How often do you have to get laid to disqualify yourself as having trouble getting laid? If you don’t make an effort to get laid can you really say you are having trouble getting laid?

Prior to age 28 when I got married I did not get laid as much as I would have liked. I went some years without getting laid but I was laid by 10 women. I barely worked at getting laid and I was only rejected by 2 women both of whom rejected me sweetly and remained my friends .

ToastyNathan · 2022-12-08T01:47:18+00:00

The ones who like to hang with me are gay. So my options are limited to basically nobody.

whyismarvelhypo · 2022-12-08T05:13:39+00:00

Those things don't matter when females only care about the physical.

EventSea8621 · 2022-12-08T18:36:38+00:00

i dont know any woman period, outside of my mother.

dont talk to coworkers much

Title	Do the men in here that struggle to get laid not have any women in there social circles?
Author	AtCloseRange94
Upvotes	74
Comments	481
Date	December 6, 2022 6:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/zee30z/do_the_men_in_here_that_struggle_to_get_laid_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-the-men-in-here-that-struggle-to-get-laid-not.1142682 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142682

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