I'm single because "they're all just intimidated"

fifththrowaway · 2024-04-23T15:51:18+00:00

I'd assume it's a heterosexual women talking about men, for a few reasons:

Projection: She values career and education in her mates, so she assumes they must be thinking about her career and education. Same reason why low-IQ males send dick pics to solicit women. Self-centered people who think their values are universal.
Passive voice: Dating is a thing that happens to her (i.e: 'the right one comes along'). A female privilege.
The 'intimidation' trope. Convenient method used by women to dismiss their failures. See, it's not that she's rude or unpleasant to be around, it's men's fault for being too fragile and reactive. They're just intimidated by her being stronk and independent.

Proudvow · 2024-04-23T14:51:06+00:00

There is no context in which a man would unironically write that.

BoomTheBear86 · 2024-04-23T14:57:43+00:00

A woman.

Men don’t tend to defend their being single like this. And whilst I maintain it’s possible, i don’t think I’ve personally ever heard a man say that women reject him because they’re intimidated by his success and education. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say they find these things intimidating either. A man’s work and education might leave him too little time to be available to the woman for a relationship that meets her needs, sure, but “intimidated by it”? Nah.

It’s a pretty stereotyped “I am woman hear me roar” passage in its phrasing though. Like even if I think it’s more likely a woman wrote it than a man, I don’t think most women actually think, speak or write like that outside of internet caricatures and baity snapshotting.

StubbornTaurus26 · 2024-04-23T15:46:48+00:00

I would assume a woman wrote this. I would assume so as it sounds very similar to many comments and posts I see on the AskWomen subs I am on.

At least from those I know, females are more inclined to talk openly about their current satisfaction with being single (regardless of their actual personal satisfaction)-which makes “I’m perfectly happy being single…” point in that direction for me.

Females that I know are also more inclined to view their own success as an intimidating factor and a specific reason they’re not finding the one. Most men I know would view “well educated and successful in my career” as positive things they are bringing to the table-I have never seen or heard a male describe their own success as intimidating. Which is the other thing that points me towards assuming a female wrote this.

izoldetales · 2024-04-23T15:20:50+00:00

You need to have 5 second experience on tiktok to know it's a woman 😂😂😂

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-04-23T17:28:46+00:00

Are you kidding me?... When has any man ever uttered such words unironically? LOL

MisterFunnyShoes · 2024-04-23T15:02:25+00:00

Delusional woman 100%

Sandjota · 2024-04-23T15:26:20+00:00

This type of sentiment is exactly what a high-earning single women would say to herself. Chances are that the money has gotten to their head and they are miserable to be around.

washington_breadstix · 2024-04-23T19:19:38+00:00

Woman. I simply can't imagine a man ever writing this.

The whole notion of "everyone is intimidated by my education and career" is aligned with the typical hamstering done by lesser attractive women to rationalize why they aren't getting the type of attention they want from the caliber of men they want it from. No one has ever been "intimidated" by a woman's career. If she's above a certain threshold of attractiveness, she'll be the target of just as much thirst as any other woman at that level.

Where education and success are concerned – if anything, I think men are going to read "I'm educated and successful" as a sort of signal that really means "I'm factoring education and success into my dating criteria and thus will only accept a man who is more successful than me". Especially when you interpret this alongside "perfectly happy being single until the right one comes along". This just screams "My standards are extremely high, and I would rather be single than date someone below my super-high standard". When men avoid a woman who writes this, it's not out of actual intimidation, but just because they know the juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze.

Men don't include this overt "happy being single" idea in their signaling. It has a very feminine slant. We men have been conditioned to understand that putting our dating struggles on display is a great way to continue struggling.

Unique-Afternoon6316 · 2024-04-23T15:01:59+00:00

This is only something women say, and I would immediately assume that this woman is just annoying mean and entitled. Anyone who thinks people are intimidated by them in a dating context is probably just braggadocious self centered.

berichorbeburied · 2024-04-23T15:53:40+00:00

A woman

Talks about status and economics apparently hurting dating prospects

Talks about being ok being single (which may or may not include sex)

Talks about being good enough with the implication that this hypothetical person doesn’t have to self improve or change

Those 3 things combined it can literally never be a man

Especially with the phrase well educated and successful.

But also talks about waiting until the right one comes along (men are the pursuers but this puts the author in the pursued role)

Talks with the phrase “Most of my matches” implying that they do not have a problem attaining prospects or matches. (Which is the stereotypical drowning in water phenomenon)

So it 100% can’t be a real genuine male

It could be a male role playing

It could be a male lying

But 100% in the real world. That’s a woman only problem

untamed-italian · 2024-04-23T16:12:29+00:00

Why am I single? To be honest, most of my matches don't work out because they're intimidated because I'm well educated and successful in my career.

Man, woman, chatbot, whoever wrote this used "because" twice in one sentence and I cannot ignore it lol

"because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because..."

In addition to being bad grammar, it highlights how the writer is projecting their own fear onto their 'matches'.

The claim that being well educated and successful makes one intimidating makes me question if they have terrible taste in other people, if they are lying about others finding those qualities intimidating, if they are lying about being well educated and successful, if they are lying about ever having more than one date with a person, or some combination of the above.

The use of the word "matches" instead of "partners", "exes", "lovers", etc makes me think this person may not have even met any of the people who are sooooo intimidated in person.

That being the case I'm perfectly happy being single until the right one comes along

Ugh, the passivity, the single-track narrow mindedness, the lack of awareness that nurturing a constant expectation for 'the right one' =/= 'happy being single'. All the hallmarks of someone who doesn't know themselves, doesn't know what they want, does not want to know either, and is in denial about all three of these things.

Would you assume it was written by a male or a woman?

Nah. Could be either. Odds lean towards woman but nothing necessitates it, and I wouldn't assume it.

Why would you make that assumption?

I wouldn't.

But there are a lot of cultural details which almost provoke that assumption without validating it: - women typically are not intimidated by education or career success, they seek these things out - many women use the claim that their career/intelligence/assertiveness intimidates men as cover for the fact that their awful personalities would drive anyone away - the double 'because' to me sounds feminine. This may be my ingrained bias but I've never been around men who insert an explanation for others' behavior into an ongoing attempt to dictacte the intentions behind others' behavior. Most men I know don't attribute intent to others' behavior at all and either just accept or oppose it. - the need to explain why they are single by aggressively dictating the inner lives of unnumbered 3rd parties in the first place just strikes me as something most men I know simply wouldn't do. It would not occur as an option to them either in the heat of the moment or in cold abstract planning. Most men would just say they don't want to be locked down, or it is not a priority, or they prefer to be single - but the explanation would be about them. It would not be this subtle world building breadcrumb trail where everything happens outside the will of the writer who is just there to passively experience it.

On the other hand, due to how all of these details are not personalized in any way and largely seem stapled together specifically to provoke a gendered assumption, it all seems more uncanny and alien than feminine or masculine.

keepinitreal567 · 2024-04-23T17:10:37+00:00

Because when it comes to high earning women in the West, they tend to have attitudes, they tend to be controlling, they don't have boundaries, and the reason why they are single is because of the fact that most have toxic mentalities out there.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-04-23T14:52:42+00:00

Clearly a woman - no man would write this. I’d also put money on her being a sub five

Demasii · 2024-04-23T14:47:35+00:00

A woman.

Men get asked less to explain why they are single since they are the initiators of most sex and dating situations.

527east · 2024-04-23T15:22:15+00:00

Don't confuse intimidated for not interested

boom-wham-slam · 2024-04-23T16:06:40+00:00

I would bet money a woman wrote it.

This is generally a woman problem. Not a man problem.

Also it's passive ie being happy being single until the right one.

Also even if a man does intimidate a girl... generally girls find this stuff attractive so he wouldn't be "single" just one date out of 10 didn't work out. Big whoop. He only got the 9 other dates because of the success.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-04-23T16:48:13+00:00

Woman, and I think it's said to avoid taking accountability a lot of the time.

The women saying it are often bossy, emotionally and/or physically abusive, etc., so shifting blame to men (claiming they're the problem) is one way to avoid painful self reflection.

Nodeal_reddit · 2024-04-23T16:57:34+00:00

lol. 1000% a woman.

wonka___vision · 2024-04-23T17:13:35+00:00

Only a women would write or say that.

I’ve never been intimidated by someone who can’t open a pickle jar.

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2024-04-23T17:20:46+00:00

Woman because the person takes no accountability for why they are single.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-04-24T00:00:50+00:00

It’s because she’s fat.

Women don’t understand just how sexually repulsive obese women are to men in my opinion.

They project and think the same values they find attractive in men (success, ambition, money) can overcome the rot of fatness

Spoiler alert: it does not. Men aren’t “intimidated” by an aging fat woman, they simply find her repulsive to date

WanabeInflatable · 2024-04-23T15:07:10+00:00

Strong successful woman and men who are afraid of strong/smart women are such a clichee. A lot of women are telling such things and shame men for not wanting her...

Answer Woman is too obvious, but given the fact OP is asking, there might be a trick. So if a man suddenly uses this explanation of being single, maybe trolling or mirroring women - that would be such a rare situation that would motivate OP to post a question.

So there is a probability, that this is actually said by a man and OP wants to jump in with a link later and say AHA you all were wrong

CPU_2256 · 2024-04-23T15:17:00+00:00

woman

No-Calligrapher-3630 · 2024-04-23T15:56:34+00:00

Women don't really get intimidated by a man career.... Unless it's like a war criminal or something

JonMyMon · 2024-04-23T16:20:22+00:00

It sounds like a woman because it’s something I’ve heard women say before.

Women are, on average, more neurotic, and more likely to reject men based on their insecurities and what she thinks he’s thinking. It’s possible that the woman actually feels uncomfortable with this dynamic and she’s projecting that onto the man. Lastly, it’s possible that men genuinely are intimidated by her success, because we are all socialized to believe that men are losers if they’re not at the same level of success as their woman. However, it seems unlikely to me that all her matches feel this way and are making it explicit. It just sounds suspicious. This person isn’t introspecting on any negative qualities they might have. They’re saying they get rejected because they’re too awesome, and people can’t handle that, and maybe there’s a grain of truth there, but it’s such a convenient analysis, it could very easily be cope.

adamandsteveandeve · 2024-04-23T17:28:12+00:00

There’s no question this would be said by a woman.

Nihi1986 · 2024-04-23T17:35:55+00:00

Damn it, man...I was so attracted to this girl, thought I had finally found the right one but it turns out she has a good education and career and I'm more into iliterate broke unhappy with their career kind of girls because otherwise I get too intimidated 🤷

Ok... now more of a serious answer. It would be written by a woman cause they value the partner's career and education a lot more so they actually feel intimidated sometimes when approaching succesful men. Also, career oriented usually means no children/less children/no housewife, so I can see how some kind of men wouldn't want that (though I disagree with their mindset but they can have their preferences).

Westernation · 2024-04-23T15:22:11+00:00

Whatever the person’s gender, this seems childish.

neinhaltchad · 2024-04-23T18:02:06+00:00

The entire post is just Womanese for “I’m an insufferable cunt.”

YearnsToDestroySun · 2024-04-23T16:15:44+00:00

Bleh, she gets rejected for other things but that cognitive dissonance is kicking in wanting to shift the blame to dudes rather than coming face to face with her unappealing qualities.... whatever they may be.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-04-23T19:40:59+00:00

A woman. A guy would something like, "They only like assholes" or "I'm not 6ft4"

Stimmy_Goon · 2024-04-23T21:35:57+00:00

When dudes act entitled and conceited we call them incels and don’t take them seriously (rightfully so most of the time) but for whatever reasons we still placate this attitude in women because nobody wants to say the obvious but “mean” thing to them which is you aren’t as big of a catch as you think you are and it might be your personality that pushes people away

binary-boy · 2024-04-24T02:20:43+00:00

Woman for sure.

"My relationships don't work out because I'm so great!"

Yeah, keep on telling yourself that.

Leinadro · 2024-04-24T10:51:56+00:00

A woman.

I say a woman because women complain that men are intimidated by them while men complain women don't want nice guys.

"Men are intimidated by strong independent women." is the female equivalent of "Women just want to date jerks."

LapazGracie · 2024-04-23T14:46:23+00:00

Usually it is women that say this shit. But judging by the way you framed that question. It's likely a man.

Remarkable_Rough_89 · 2024-04-23T15:06:58+00:00

Woman, guys don’t give a f about the profession of a woman

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-04-23T15:57:24+00:00

Obviously a woman.

When men are rejected, they're told to work on themselves, they know they're weak/beta/unmasculine/short, whatever.

When women are rejected, they just blame men.

TotalTravesty · 2024-04-23T15:03:52+00:00

It’s either written by a young guy with Nice Guy Syndrome or an older woman with Boss Babe Syndrome. Because this is where it is I’m guessing you want us to say woman. Or for us to say man so you can say “Gotcha! It was a woman.”

illusoryfindings · 2024-04-23T15:14:23+00:00

It's typically a woman who says stuff like that, I don't think I've ever heard a man say anything like this.

People who do well in good careers are usually assertive and disagreeable, very good traits to have when you want to climb a ruthless corporate ladder and be successful. But men in general aren't attracted to assertive, disagreeable women. They'll be seen as bossy and uncooperative, not sweet, nurturing, and nice.

There are plenty of men who are into this kind of woman, but she isn't into those gentler, more agreeable ones. She wants someone who's a go-getter like her, preferably earning more in an even higher-octane job.

She says men are intimidated because either that's actually how she feels, she doesn't have the awareness to understand it's not really true, or she does and she's just mad.

Naragub · 2024-04-23T14:46:34+00:00

Realistically, a man writing a women.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-04-23T16:32:01+00:00

A woman obviously, men aren't that picky when it comes to career paths. You can be a woman working at Starbucks and he can be a successful millionaire, if you are young and hot you're good to go.

Whiskeymyers75 · 2024-04-23T14:55:09+00:00

Definitely a woman while she owes upper 5 figure loan debt, making $45k in social work.

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literaryhogwartian · 2024-04-23T15:12:00+00:00

A woman. This was me in my 20s. Scared everyone away lol.

Square_Height_5133 · 2024-04-23T15:26:52+00:00

Yeah pretty clearly from a woman.

There does exist some men who will be intimidated by a successful woman while as others have mentioned below, I’ve never heard the reverse said. Plus I think men wouldn’t really put that sort of bio on their profile anyway

MidoriEgg · 2024-04-23T15:42:51+00:00

Definitely a woman, men usually say they’re too ‘nice’, too ‘intelligent‘ or too ‘misunderstood’ if they have cognitive dissonance about why their relationships fail.

Ambitious_Campaign34 · 2024-04-23T15:48:58+00:00

I’m 100% sure it’s a boss babe who wrote this not knowing no sane man would want to deal with her mid attitude. So she thinks most men are intimidated by her status lol

uwpxwpal · 2024-04-23T15:56:50+00:00

A woman would write that because it's rare that the pursuee is intimated by the pursuer

ThatLeval · 2024-04-23T16:03:38+00:00

99% a chick wrote that and I'd pass on even dating her unless I already knew her. Odds are that the circumstances she's describing is about intimidation. Women say that because it feeds their ego and there's a whole lotta narcissism in female echo chambers. Women are the ones who are most likely to say dehumanising stuff like "he's not on my level"

A normal functioning Woman gets attracted to a guy's success. That's the core for why a lot of guys feel in limbo when a chick is more successful than them. They don't know their place in that dynamic because they've spent their whole life hearing Women say they only want a guy that's more successful than them and at very worst they'll settle for the same

untamed-italian · 2024-04-23T16:12:16+00:00

Why am I single? To be honest, most of my matches don't work out because they're intimidated because I'm well educated and successful in my career.

Man, woman, chatbot, whoever wrote this used "because" twice in one sentence and I cannot ignore it lol

"because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because..."

In addition to being bad grammar, it highlights how the writer is projecting their own fear onto their 'matches'.

The claim that being well educated and successful makes one intimidating makes me question if they have terrible taste in other people, if they are lying about others finding those qualities intimidating, if they are lying about being well educated and successful, if they are lying about ever having more than one date with a person, or some combination of the above.

The use of the word "matches" instead of "partners", "exes", "lovers", etc makes me think this person may not have even met any of the people who are sooooo intimidated in person.

That being the case I'm perfectly happy being single until the right one comes along

Ugh, the passivity, the single-track narrow mindedness, the lack of awareness that nurturing a constant expectation for 'the right one' =/= 'happy being single'. All the hallmarks of someone who doesn't know themselves, doesn't know what they want, does not want to know either, and is in denial about all three of these things.

Would you assume it was written by a male or a woman?

Nah. Could be either. Odds lean towards woman but nothing necessitates it, and I wouldn't assume it.

Why would you make that assumption?

I wouldn't.

But there are a lot of cultural details which almost provoke that assumption without validating it: - women typically are not intimidated by education or career success, they seek these things out - many women use the claim that their career/intelligence/assertiveness intimidates men as cover for the fact that their awful personalities would drive anyone away - the double 'because' to me sounds feminine. This may be my ingrained bias but I've never been around men who insert an explanation for others' behavior into an ongoing attempt to dictacte the intentions behind others' behavior. Most men I know don't attribute intent to others' behavior at all and either just accept or oppose it. - the need to explain why they are single by aggressively dictating the inner lives of unnumbered 3rd parties in the first place just strikes me as something most men I know simply wouldn't do. It would not occur as an option to them either in the heat of the moment or in cold abstract planning. Most men would just say they don't want to be locked down, or it is not a priority, or they prefer to be single - but the explanation would be about them. It would not be this subtle world building breadcrumb trail where everything happens outside the will of the writer who is just there to passively experience it.

On the other hand, due to how all of these details are not personalized in any way and largely seem stapled together specifically to provoke a gendered assumption, it all seems more uncanny and alien than feminine or masculine.

Proud-Cheesecake-813 · 2024-04-23T16:38:25+00:00

A woman. She is trying to figure out why men are put off by her. I don’t think intimidating is the right word - rather men believe her standards would be too high. If she earns $100K, she may well want a man who earns more - which they don’t. Or she may well want a man with a PhD, if she has a Masters. This dynamic is not present with men, they are happy to ‘date down’.

Linvaderdespace · 2024-04-23T16:39:29+00:00

Normally when a dude says “women are too intimidated to date me” they’re talking about his massive muscles, multiple scars, and facial tattoos.

Shebalied · 2024-04-23T17:10:19+00:00

Women, because they say it all the time. The I am happy single is the cherry on top.

wtknight · 2024-04-23T18:23:22+00:00

That is what a woman would say. Most men like that get beta bux matches eventually even if these men aren’t all that attractive.

kkkan2020 · 2024-04-23T18:52:27+00:00

I would question that person what's your education in and how much do you make.

No-Search6744 · 2024-04-23T18:53:26+00:00

A women or a very dumb man. I'd pick the average women though because they think men care about such nonsense at all

KikiYuyu · 2024-04-23T19:04:16+00:00

For the first part, it could be either or.

The "perfectly happy being single" part makes me think it's a woman. I've never heard a man say that.

johnnybayarea · 2024-04-23T19:20:31+00:00

Seems your responses are overwhelmingly "woman"...gun to my head to choose, I'd likely choose woman as well.

But...I could see incel men stating this as well. From my experience with their posts, they tend to believe they are nice, smarter than most (college or otherwise)...and desperately looking for cope.

GGMcThroway · 2024-04-23T21:04:27+00:00

A woman, obviously.

Men are considered intimidating by default and education is considered a plus in a man. Also a man would be a lot less polite with his blame lmao.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-04-23T21:11:11+00:00

Woman. The ones from men usually read like, “I make pretty good money in tech but live at home to save money, I’m a solid 7/10 according to me, and I have all kinds of interesting hobbies that don’t involve leaving the house since I don’t like loud noises. But I’m not an abusive jerk, so I don’t get laid. Females just don’t like nice guys like me because they love to be treated like shit. But it’s okay because I don’t want those ran-through hoes anyway.”

Of course in both cases, that is not why. Either these people are not socializing enough in the right settings, their standards are higher than what they can actually get, they’re kinda insufferable to be around, or some combination of those things.

NaviaMain · 2024-04-23T23:11:19+00:00

I can tell you that's not why, the reason why men don't want anything, in most cases, has to do with the beauty of the woman in question.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-04-24T01:00:29+00:00

I don't think a man would say "because I'm well educated and successful in my career"

He might say something like "because I'm a member of the SAS" or "because I'm a cop" or something like that if he was chasing after those women who find all that a bit gross.

est1-9-8-4 · 2024-04-24T03:27:05+00:00

The OP message was written by a fatto or uggo. Most likely a fatty uggo. They think career and wealth entitles them to a good looking healthy man. It doesn’t. You need to be good looking and healthy yourself. If you got money and career that’s secondary. Men don’t care about that. If I had to choose I’d definitely go out with a good looking successful woman then I could be a sugar baby. Well I already am a sugar baby. But once I finish my masters then we just become a power couple. So yah this OP paragraph writer needs to simply date at their level.

UrHeroandVillain · 2024-04-24T03:54:01+00:00

It’s usually the excuse successful women give after getting rejected. We all know that’s BS. Some men actually are intimidated by educated independent women but most of us expect our women to be that way. It’s a silly defense mechanism, but we all have em.

ThickyJames · 2024-04-24T04:13:40+00:00

It's a femcel obvs

abaxeron · 2024-04-24T05:22:11+00:00

Definitely a femonoid. Men know if/when they are intimidating, and that it makes the specimens of the boring sex wet.

ShortandRatchet · 2024-04-24T06:10:26+00:00

Anyone else, women specifically, the men that said they found me too intimidating because of how “pretty” I am, they treated the worst? They only wanted sex and were trying to love bomb.

Very very low value men

I am very, very below average-looking for reference.

NGOSLEP · 2024-04-24T06:19:29+00:00

A woman obviously writes this. I've seen a lot of relationships break down merely because the girl was making MORE than her boyfriend or husband.

Ludens0 · 2024-04-24T10:57:59+00:00

Never heard in my life a man saying he is single because he intimidates. But women.... a handful.

___ZoSo___ · 2024-04-24T13:24:16+00:00

Seems like a woman.

Women talk about the bare minimum required to survive, like having an education and a career, like it's an accomplishment because they have the choice of not doing those things and still being able to survive.

Men having to work to survive is the literal bare minimum. We don't get to marry someone well off and be stay-at home-whatevers. Why would we boast about something the majority of men are also doing?

Bro_with_passport · 2024-04-24T13:36:56+00:00

I hear it coming from women most often. Men don’t typically think of their careers or education as intimidating IME.

Disasterid · 2024-04-24T17:48:30+00:00

It does look like a straight woman wrote it mostly because they (as far as I am aware) tend to pretty highly value these things in men while men often say they don’t care about career or education (I also don’t know if this is true I am a lesbian). This rhetoric is also just generally pretty common in the hetero world.

Top-Slide7818 · 2024-04-24T19:43:47+00:00

Woman, another why: a man can’t write such a simple, infantile, and easy explanation. For a man education and being successful is still not enough “ to get “ matches, and to say something like: to intimidate other women (by his “brilliance”) it’s crazy.

db12020 · 2024-04-25T09:34:18+00:00

As a woman , I am truly enjoying reading these comments.

dexamphetamines · 2024-04-25T12:52:44+00:00

I would assume it was written by a woman

MistyMaisel · 2024-04-23T14:49:37+00:00

I mean, it could honestly be either or, but I would lean slightly towards women because it is more likely for a man to be intimidated by education and success.

staring_frog · 2024-04-23T15:16:05+00:00

> they're intimidated because I'm well educated and successful

Only delusional woman could say that. Woman it is.
There's no way to be "too good". It's another way to say I'm full of myself, arrogant and unbearable.

male or a woman?

Lolwat, not a male/female, not a men/woman, but male/woman. on Reddit a guy would get instacalled "incel" for that :D I have no problem with that though.

GojosLowerHalf3 · 2024-04-23T17:46:48+00:00

It sounds like this was written by a woman and to be fair men being too intimidated to approach her is a fair conclusion in some circumstances.

I'm married now but when I was single I would sometimes have to do the approaching or be the one to initiate things. Often times the men I show interest in would be surprised I'm interested in them. Apparently I have a "resting bitch face" and it made men too intimidated to approach me( this is from men).

I would say either these women smile more or do the approaching themselves lol

Stop_Maximum · 2024-04-23T18:39:47+00:00

I would guess it was written by a woman.

In the dating scene, it's often more common for men to feel put off by a woman with a successful career or a high level of education. There are various reasons for this. Firstly, some men may feel inadequate compared to her achievements, leading to discomfort. Secondly, they might feel emasculated, struggling to fulfill traditional gender roles. Additionally, they may worry that she'll desire more than they can comfortably provide.

Another factor is the waiting period as address in the response. Women tend to be more at ease waiting for the right partner or remaining single, while some men may feel pressured to actively pursue relationships rather than wait. Obviously it depends on the individual, but I’ve noticed they might have different ways of approaching singleness.

Moreover, these type of questions, are typically directed at women. Some people may not place as much importance on men's relationship status unless they're older and are now pressured by family to settle down.

untamed-italian · 2024-04-23T15:52:41+00:00

Why am I single? To be honest, most of my matches don't work out because they're intimidated because I'm well educated and successful in my career.

Man, woman, chatbot, whoever wrote this used "because" twice in one sentence and I cannot ignore it lol

"because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because they're intimidated because..."

In addition to being bad grammar, it highlights how the writer is projecting their own fear onto their 'matches'.

The claim that being well educated and successful makes one intimidating makes me question if they have terrible taste in other people, if they are lying about others finding those qualities intimidating, if they are lying about being well educated and successful, if they are lying about ever having more than one date with a person, or some combination of the above.

The use of the word "matches" instead of "partners", "exes", "lovers", etc makes me think this person may not have even met any of the people who are sooooo intimidated in person.

That being the case I'm perfectly happy being single until the right one comes along

Ugh the passivity. The

KayRay1994 · 2024-04-23T14:49:12+00:00

I assume it was written by a man writing a woman

Lilrip1998 · 2024-04-23T17:58:27+00:00

A woman. And honestly I wouldn't call bullshit immediately.

I've seen it. One of my best friends works with celebrities and is pulling in 6 figures. She's also hot. She can't nail down a dude that's in her league and the ones she gives chances too are weird about her job. Like it comes up in conversations and they make these weird comments about her "stacking bread" but not in a celebratory way. I've seen the dudes she's into they aren't uber jacked wealthy giants they're regular degular dudes with normal jobs. Idk what the deal is lol maybe it's where we live?

januaryphilosopher · 2024-04-23T14:49:45+00:00

I'd assume it was a man pretending to be a woman tbh.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-23T15:13:33+00:00

I tend to intimidate women with my looks quite a bit. I used to think I was unattractive because cute looking women would ignore me. It turns out only super hot women have the balls to express interest in me. All others are so intimidated that they can't even bring themselves to talk or make eye contact.

Dr_Click_Click_Boom · 2024-04-23T16:05:44+00:00

Clearly a man wrote this because this is the type of shit that men say all the time. I don't think I've ever heard a woman say anything so ridiculous.

Colt_Master · 2024-04-23T16:57:31+00:00

Men feel intimidated by women more successful and educated than them because it 1. emasculates them and deprives of their male gender role of provider 2. deprives their legitimacy and power to be the leading party in a relationship 3. furthermore, they know that most women look for masculine provider men with power and legitimacy with which to mostly lead the relationship, so they'll fear that the woman will not respect them or be attracted to them in a relationship.

There exist very little reason to think a woman would ever feel intimidated over this. Maybe in niche places like r/rolereversal or something. But by default in heteronormative patriarchal society, a man more well educated and successful than a woman is a green flag and makes him more attractive prospect of a relationship.

I'll be charitative and say that women might feel intimidated in the sense that they think their partner is above their league and it will be hard to get and maintain a relationship, but this is an aspect in which success/education is just one of the factors, coupled with looks/charisma/etc.

hearyoume14 · 2024-04-23T18:02:06+00:00

I did know one guy that said he thought along these lines but there was a covert incest dynamic involved who knows his actual opinion.

Werevulvi · 2024-04-23T20:30:58+00:00

I'd assume that's a woman, looking to date men. Men just seem far more likely to be intimidated by a prestigious woman who can take care of herself, than vice versa. Rarely have I ever met a woman who's intimidated by a man having a successful career. Or a lesbian intimidated by another woman with a successful career, for that matter. I'm sure it exists somewhere, but I wouldn't think it common.

It might also be ever so slightly less uncommon among men who date other men, but I wouldn't know that for sure. I imagine most gay and bi men don't really care who earns more, as long as there's enough money to go around in relationship, unless they're very into a masc/fem dynamic. Same for women who date other women.

bluehorserunning · 2024-04-23T15:47:18+00:00

I have had men specifically say that I was intimidating.

apresonly · 2024-04-23T22:14:36+00:00

i dont think women would be "intimidated" by a smart person so i would assume a woman wrote it

do you think there are no men who are intimidated by smart women?

its basic awareness that gender roles exist. Women have no reason to be intimidated by smart men bc it fits into gender roles. But a man being outsmarted by a woman *is* against gender roles, so there is a reason for the discomfort.

spaffjizz · 2024-04-23T15:44:37+00:00

A salty man writing as a woman.

Title	I'm single because "they're all just intimidated"
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	63
Comments	302
Date	April 23, 2024 2:41 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cb6d8z/im_single_because_theyre_all_just_intimidated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/im-single-because-theyre-all-just-intimidated.1516129 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516129

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