Expecting men to pay for dinner on a first date is entitlement, not tradition. The default should be 50/50 because two adults agreed to meet and neither person is automatically owed a free meal. Some women argue that getting ready costs money, but clothes, makeup, hair, and skincare are personal expenses and self-investment that benefit them beyond one date. The wage gap is not a universal excuse, especially among younger, educated people in many major cities where women often earn as much as or more than men. “The inviter pays” only works if women ask men out at the same rate, but men still initiate most first dates. And using 50/50 as a secret compatibility test, then ghosting someone for splitting, is just avoiding an honest conversation about expectations. Paying should be a generous choice, not a requirement. Entitlement is ugly and unattractive.

Appendix 1 : for the preferences argument, “It’s fine if he doesn’t pay, but I prefer men who do” is like saying, “She doesn’t owe me sex, but I prefer women who put out on the first date.”