The notion of a "female intuition" that can "sniff out desperation or misogyny" is completely idiotic and delusional.

reddit_is_geh · 2024-07-18T10:01:11+00:00

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PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-07-18T12:17:35+00:00

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fundamentally_comfy · 2024-07-18T10:47:59+00:00

They can't magically sniff out evil and desperation but they can sniff out awkwardness, submissiveness, low status and poor looks. Most abusers are manipulators so they easily slip past all radars. In a way these kind of talking points harm women because when they DO end up with an abuser they end up often doubting their own sanity and get into denial over the abuse.

Hi-Road · 2024-07-18T12:17:52+00:00

Honestly, I think a lot of people (men and women) just aren't as smart as they think they are. They can't conceive their intuition being wrong, and when they make a bad decision, they will probably just try to explain it away and give excuses before saying "Hey, maybe I fucked up here". When intuition actually works, they'll credit unfailing intuition.

Alwaysnthered · 2024-07-18T13:18:39+00:00

nah, people date people with red flags all the time.

they just ignore them if they are attracted to them.

simple as that. don't know why this post or thread deserves multiple paragraphs.

arousal/attraction is probably the most powerful feeling/emotion, aside from maybe wrath/anger. it aain't gonna be overcome easy with a few red flags.

Bubbly_Taro · 2024-07-18T10:10:44+00:00

Women sniff out low value men.

They can't exactly say they are turned off by your terrible charisma your or soy face. Not even to themselves, as this would shatter their own believes about the enlightened feminine.

Hence they come up with terms like filtering out "desperation" and "misogyny".

Women date misogynistic douchebags all the time, if they are high value.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2024-07-18T15:47:46+00:00

PPD has become old school faceandlms video topics being recycled.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2024-07-18T17:29:38+00:00

These guys give themselves away. Is it possible to hide it on dating apps? Sure. But once a conversation starts it comes out. And when a guy is carrying a lot of anger or resentment towards women you can absolutely feel that. He acts hostile even when he’s attracted to you.

wtknight · 2024-07-18T11:40:37+00:00

I agree that they can't sniff out misogyny. Desperation is different, though. It's fairly easy to tell when someone is too desperate in their approach, and this often turns women off.

chalkandapples · 2024-07-18T10:34:42+00:00

Women's intuition is just like men's intuition. Some people have good intuition and some people aren't so good at it. Some people are good at manipulating and some people are bad at it.

I have been pretty good at judging people and is pretty confident in my intuition. But maybe one day I'll meet someone that's better at manipulating than I am at judging them.

You can hide your inner desperation, misogyny, and whatnot, and some people may not be able to see though it, but others will. Like I can be really good at faking all my interview questions well and maybe some hiring managers can't tell and I once in a while get hired for a job I'm not qualified for, but it's much easier and I would have a higher success rate if I was just qualified for the job to begin with.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-07-18T11:00:21+00:00

Women can definitely sense desperation, but I don't think they can smell misogyny otherwise they'd stop fucking misogynists

Smergmerg432 · 2024-07-18T20:53:49+00:00

Women’s intuition is just logic. If a man makes sexist remarks, dates are gonna notice the sexism.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-07-19T08:49:32+00:00

What you're calling "intuition" in nuance is their tendency to sense the abstract aspects of socializing such as body language, expression and tones. Generally women tend to have robust sense of socializing, dictated by societal and environmental influences, they are just taught to be more social and they have innate tendency to be more social. This isn't to say that it's something exclusive to them as if a man was raised in those exact conditions that lot of women are, they'd probably be just as fluent in abstract communication as much as some women. Sure, it's not always right, but hypothetically if I had to pick between a socially experienced person vs a gamer to rely on as a judge of character, the former obviously would offer way better chance than the latter.

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-18T16:47:58+00:00

More binary thinking.

Let's break this down: Intuition is not some perfect measure and no women I know really claim that it is. It's just another line of defense. If you've played Stratego, it's more akin to the spy than say the marshal. If you've played magic the gathering, it's the ridiculous hail mary win condition which isn't the main thrust of the deck, but comes in handy and from behind sometimes to score.

Now what is intuition really as far as I can tell. I think it's a summation of the social cues and personal data our brains are subconsciously detecting and digesting manifesting into our conscious mind because the red alert is too subdued to have been consciously detected. Think Tony Soprano having dreams that Big Pussy is a rat. His unconscious mind knows it before his conscious mind has recognized this. It doesn't always work, again, but when it works, it works really well and it should not be discounted or degraded simply because it isn't perfect. After all, rational conscious mind thinking isn't always perfect either.

Now, to address the concept of "well then why couldn't it sniff out that abuser". Part of it is that abusers are as you say, calibrated so they aren't giving off those subconscious cues to us. Part of it is that, and you're really going to hate this, a lot of abusive men have qualities which are attractive and worthwhile. Not all, but a lot. More so than the dude who would never abuse anyone, but has no attractive qualities or resources worthy of consideration. And if there's something somewhat shiny, it becomes easier for both conscious and subconscious mind to move forward.

Women aren't hounds able to sniff this stuff that solidly, that's true. But they are detecting a lot more of the subtext in interactions than your post is giving credit for. Their system is processing things at a higher level that is often protective if not ignored.

LevelCaterpillar1830 · 2024-07-18T10:18:50+00:00

What's a real deal breaker is often being asocial, awkward, or just very submissive to her opinions and takes on everything (whipped).

As long as you demonstrate self-sufficiency and that your personality can stand its ground against her charms, you can go ahead and be "evil" or "machiavellian" as much as you want because those aren't the true repellers (if anything, those are attractive when used correctly).

The truly repulsive thing to be as a man is to lose mental ground in front of her attractiveness, and start stuttering, being awkward, losing tempo for no reason etc.

If anything, being "evil" is a plus when you know how to go about it.

sprckets21 · 2024-07-18T16:47:35+00:00

Women are repulsed by any man that can’t land any decent looking women. Then if she catches you with a fat girl, she will know she’s above you and will never see you as a viable option.

The opposite is true as well, if you have a beautiful girlfriend other women will see her and desire you.

half3mptyhalffull · 2024-07-18T14:22:58+00:00

the "intuition" is not "female" or "magic". intuition is a way to describe your sense of how things will pan out based your pattern recognition of someone else's behavior, obivious (choices of words and actions) and subtle (tones and mannerisms). some woman (and men) have the patience and the observational skills to have intuition, and some dont.

some examples of what im talking about:

1) i rarely get a distictively bad vibe from a person (male or female) when i first meet them, and when i do, its generally very, very bad. like get away as fast as possible and watch your back bad. ive gotten this feeling from both men and women.

2) i can generally figure out whether or not someone is an abusive person pretty quick these days, but it takes at least one conversation with them where they feel realtively comfortable being themselves with me.

3) back when i was dating, i didnt pick up on tells of desparation and abusive tendancies at first. it took a little bit to develop that skill. and its not "magic", its just a very quick and sublte way of vetting. (i would also like to note that there are different kinds of desparation, and not all of them are "ick". sometimes people are just lonely and thats that).

4) what i could pick up on from the get go was whether someone was opting to put on an entirely false persona (thats always been an obvious set of behaviors to me), or if they were just being a toned down version of themselves. i opted for the latter.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-07-18T15:53:56+00:00

No, these things can’t be “sniffed out,” only noticed in actions and words. However, I would not say it’s particularly uncommon for guys to lack the social calibration to hide them. Especially when it comes to desperation, that tends to show up pretty soon in the “talking stage.”

Misogyny, unfortunately not most of the time, since most people know to keep their less than savory views to themselves. There are some guys who cannot keep their mouths shut though, these tend to be the types who think they’re really smart and are very impressed with themselves and their “knowledge.”

bluestjuice · 2024-07-18T16:47:03+00:00

Ha, so I kind of agree entirely with the title of your post despite disagreeing with or at least hard qualifying most of the body.

It’s true that ‘women’s intuition’ is made-up nonsense. Women aren’t especially more intuitive than anyone else, and aren’t magically tuned into bad vibes or negative energy or ill intentions. They are just as likely to fall prey to bad actors’ misrepresentations, hold biases, engage in fallacious thoughts and behaviors, ignore red flags, and so on.

I can’t totally buy that people with troubled personality traits; misogynist tendencies, entrenched negativity, desperation, abusive tendencies, and so on, who also struggle with dating, are universally skillful at hiding those traits. I certainly agree with your larger point that many personality flaws and damaging beliefs and behaviors are understood to be objectionable and that people with those characteristics have an interest in concealing them as much as possible. But I think there’s some room for nuance here. Not everyone whose personality contains glaring red flags is actually good at hiding it. Some are, and some aren’t.

If a person on the internet is demonstrating objectionable beliefs and behaviors and is complaining of a general failure at dating, it’s not a totally unreasonable take to conclude that they may be one of the ones who’s no good at hiding it.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-07-18T19:34:35+00:00

Because when you have problem getting a relationship we can tell if you are intersted in ME as a specific unique person or if you just want A woman for the sake of not being alone and I'm acceptable. This is it. I want you to love ME for me, I don't want to be just A woman for the sake of not being alone.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-07-18T20:49:01+00:00

I dont know about desperation but I have a perfect record for men that give me misogynistic vibes actually ending up being misogynistic. I have never gotten a false positive. A handful of times I wanted to be wrong because these men could really ruin my life (the worst one was a boss) but alas, I was right. I have occasionally gotten false negatives with men who are REALLY good at acting.

Involved_Currently · 2024-07-18T10:20:02+00:00

Anyone who with even a modicum of social calibration

This is doing a lot of work here bud.

The people that cant get dates, fail to understand what aspects are keeping them from being successful, otherwise they would seek to eliminate them. I have never ever, met a dude complaining they cant get dates say "I wish I didnt lack confidence, I wish I was funnier and not so god damn boring at making conversation". Never. And thats simply a lack of awareness.

And if you lack awareness well then all bets are off regarding your social calibration as well. There is a difference between being polite and acting polite. People can tell.

Edit: To clarify, the people that "act well" are usually highly self-aware. Thats what allows them to mask and act well.

John_Oakman · 2024-07-18T12:50:21+00:00

Or perhaps, in their cost benefit analysis: the overt abusive career criminal is still a more tolerable option than the fake nice guy with ulterior motives.

Also not to mention the increasing number of women deciding to remain single: as if they acknowledge that there are only various bad options out there.

Meetloafandtaters · 2024-07-18T14:12:36+00:00

Women and men both have serious instincts, honed over millions of years. Call it intuition if you want.

IMO it's crazy to think people (including women) can't sniff out desperation and misogyny. I'm an old guy and I see it all the time. I'd bet women spot it much easier than I do, since they have more of a stake in detecting such things.

That doesn't mean their choices will be rational. Humans simply aren't rational creatures. But I'm telling you... people can practically SMELL your desperation.

Large-Signal-157 · 2024-07-18T10:39:09+00:00

Women can but they will often shut down their gut feelings to be “nice”, which often results in those toxic exes. Women would be much better served by trusting their gut more.

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McPigg · 2024-07-18T19:22:13+00:00

There are a million subtle ways to come off desperate/needy/pessimismistic/insecure in your communication and subcommunication, down to the tiniest facial mannerisms and body language ticks.

Recognizing and micromanaging to hide all these is almost impossible, and altho women are not concioussly aware as to why, they will sense your a weirdo because of

Your partner choice as a woman is a life and death kind of decision (for her and her offspring) for most human history, so these senses are evovled very keen on women. I think i read somewhere that their brain is even wired differenrly when it comes to social intelligence.

So yes, they can usually "smell" a loser.

mysogyny is very different, no way in hell they can tell that if you dont say sth, also its surprisingly not that big off a turnoff. i think the majority (exept the most liberal women) will tolerate it to an extent, for some its even sexy. Im pretty myso myself often and women i know that i act nice around at first are shocked if i let them get a glimpse, they would never have guessed ever.

OKSector69 · 2024-07-18T19:28:33+00:00

Women cannot sniff out your desperation, misogyny, entitlement, or any flaw in moral character. They also cannot sniff out your pessimism, negativity, or any "flaw" in attitude. None of these things hurt your chances in dating.

Crazy take. You've never met someone who was so negative in everything they said that it was a huge downer? Never met someone who was completely pessimistic and self deprecating? You've never met a guy and could just tell that he never gets laid? This says more about your own lack of social awareness than anything else.

The only thing women CAN sniff out is a total lack of social calibration; and the vast majority of men- even the so-called "inkwells" criticizing women on the internet- are sufficiently social calibrated to appear normal.

Oh god no. Apart from the idea that only the top 20% of men are attractive I would estimate that only 20% of men are sufficiently socially well calibrated to be able to flirt with women.

Perplexed-ng · 2024-07-19T01:21:18+00:00

A lot of women are incredible at marketing. They take a simple concept, package it into something extraordinary and grand, and convince everyone how it's "special" and how what they have done is extraordinary.

Which is why they love "confident" men, which when they describe sounds more and more like a charlatan and not a confident man. Makes sense, since like attracts like.

This mystery, intuition, vibes, sixth sense, creepiness, chemistry is all a part of it.

They don't have some god given ability that they got because they have a vagina and not penis lmao.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-07-19T02:24:51+00:00

The friends I know that are the most successful with women are also the most misogynistic. It has no negative impact on their popularity. Just look at guys like Andrew Tate. The stereotypical alpha males who think women belong in the kitchen are adored by women.

grillopie · 2024-07-19T02:40:00+00:00

there's nothing special about women here. almost anyone can sniff out bad personality. it's like a basic social skill. just because you can't do it 100% of the time doesn't mean you can't do it all. your opinion is going to be a lot better than random selection.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-07-18T13:51:30+00:00

Problem with OP is this: PPD men read everything a popular man does as malicious.

He grins and banters? He's a charismatic manipulator with dark triad traits like Charles Manson and Ted Bundy

He flirts? He's a shameless fuckboy who will pump and dump

He makes jokes and teases others? He's a socipath and a bully

He dates around and hasn't settled down yet? He's lying to women and pretending he's seeing only them while maintaining a harem

PPD and terper perspectives reflect their own bias, prejudice, and the metric shitload of horseshit peddled by grifters who take advantage of terper naivete and vulnerability.

So long as inexperienced and frustrated men read positive social interactions as malice, they have no idea what "women's intuition" means. Newsflash: PPD men are not women, and they bring their predjudice against popular men to every discussion.

The only thing women CAN sniff out is a total lack of social calibration

Exactly, you didn't need twelve paragraphs and bold shouting text to get to the point. "Chase face" is a thing. Desperation and entitlement are repellent. No matter how "hard it is to approach", the mental and emotional investment of working up the nerve to corner a woman doesn't mean jackshit if she isn't mutually attracted.

GuyInTenn · 2024-07-18T13:28:04+00:00

I'm not a red-piller,misogynistic, or anything like that ... but I am 63 and kinda old-school and I was happily married 33 years.

I think women's intuition about men is no better than men's intuition about women. Not saying either sex doesn't have some intuition, but it's far from perfect in most folks.

I think a woman seeking to validate a potential partner should at least seek out and pay a bit more attention to the views of their trusted male friends and family members views of that guy. Not from their girlfriends,sister, etc. Guys tend to know guys better than women, I think.

I have similar advice for men. Ask your sister or sister-in-law what they think. Some platonic woman co-worker. etc

(I can't tell you how many guy friends I've had over the years who got together with some gal they were warned about by other women in their lives and got burned. They were just too blinded by her looks and charm, whereas others could assess the situation more objectively)

Pegmaster6969696969 · 2024-07-18T14:00:42+00:00

They can sniff out dark triad behaviours though, and they love it

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-07-18T14:15:19+00:00

The less you care about women (with the assumption you have your shit together) the more they will work to attain it. I’ve seen it far too many times. And frankly, I’m an asshole. But that never stops them. Even when I’m out with my wife. It’s something else.

T-Rex-The-Alpha · 2024-07-18T10:47:43+00:00

Feelings before rational.

The emotional state drives the understanding of the world.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-07-18T10:43:50+00:00

The only thing women CAN sniff out is a total lack of social calibration; and the vast majority of men- even the so-called "inkwells" criticizing women on the internet- are sufficiently social calibrated to appear normal**.**

Not true at all. The men who have to theorize about women as an academic topic, because they've never had a conversation with a woman and think they're all interchangeable tend to suck at flirting, at making jokes, at being cool and chill and letting thing slide. They're easily offended and easily discouraged and tend to think things aren't fair if they're expected to be social or friendly or fun to be around, because "CHAD doesn' have to be fun to be around!"

Edit: Lol, this post wasn't up for 30 seconds before it was downvoted. I woudln't dream of accusing OP of doing it, but that person is a great example of someone who's "not socially calibrated" - they don't know how to engage with a topic so they just try to push it away and run from it.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-07-18T11:54:49+00:00

ok and some bitches on 2X say it, why is it worth paragraphs?

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-07-18T14:03:00+00:00

“I’m really struggling with dating, and even after self-improving I still can’t find anyone.”

Except for the men here don’t actually say that.

The men here do things like:

Write scathing rants about Chad on dating apps

Scathing rants about how American women are bad

Whining about how fat women are

Whining about how unattractive American women are

Depending entirely on dating apps to meet women then throwing a tantrum that dating apps are sausage fests and he has to try different avenues to date

Complaining about post wall women

Insisting that women are bumbling idiots who love to be abused

Getting deeply offended when women say they don’t want men who frequent prostitutes

Attacking single moms when a single mom is simply existing

Making pages like where have all the good men gone to attack women who are unattractive or single moms simply existing on dating apps

Writing “expired” or “fat” or “nobody wants you, you b!” On random women’s profiles on social media

Complaining about how women will all end up cat ladies for not wanting to be submissive housewives

Calling submissive housewives gold diggers

“Your husband cheated on you because you don’t put out!!!!”

So, tell me why you’re acting like men are these poor innocent little victims online? They love to berate, bully, and hurt women. On Facebook there are two popular groups that reflect the male hatred of women “women being awful” and “passport bros are winning”. All of them reflect the typical online man who struggles with dating’s attitude.

Devourer_of_felines · 2024-07-18T12:30:28+00:00

Well, you don’t have to scroll very far to see women making excuses for why women make shitty life choices all the time in spite of the magical powers they imagine themselves to possess

GymBroTRT · 2024-07-18T11:02:11+00:00

You seem to forget that language is a relatively recent development I. Human evolution and that we’ve existed for hundreds of thousands of years without it. We relied solely on feelings and being able to read other people.

So you are going to tell me that you have never met someone and immediately thought “there is something creepy about this person, I don’t want to be around them”. You can’t put your finger on it but you feel it.

You’ve never met someone and immediately felt that they are hostile, or shy, or nervous? I mean if you can’t read those emotional expressions, perhaps you want to check yourself for autism. Emotional states are caused by the thoughts we think. And emotions will show in our body language. We have thousands of muscles and other bodily functions, that collectively create our body language and microexpressions.

You cannot control all of them. You can barely control your posture all the time, nevermind constantly monitoring your facial expression, voice inflection, how much you blink, etc. Now, women can’t read your thoughts of course. But they have evolved to sense something very important for them, which is how a man FEELS about himself.

See, looking down on women or being secretly abusive isn’t related to how you feel about yourself. But being desperate is. Being needy is. Having low self esteem and seeing yourself below women and below other men is. Yes, you can be an abuser but be confident and life yourself a lot and chances are, this will be attractive to women anyway. The same way you can be attracted to a hot woman even if she turns out to be a gold digger.

So your interpretation of the issue is completely wrong. Complaining about your lack of success with women isn’t the problem. It’s a symptom of a problem with how you feel about you and how you feel about women. Focus on you. Focus on the man you want to be. Don’t focus on self improvement, because improving yourself assumes you are no good as you are. It comes from a negative place of shame. Instead of trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, which is shame based, just start from scratch and build yourself into the person you want to be.

f_lachowski · 2024-07-18T09:52:21+00:00

Rebuttals to anticipated responses:

"b-b-but catcallers and harassers!" If you weren't able to tell, none of these men are doing it with the intention of actually dating you. Their GOAL is to make you feel uncomfortable.

"b-b-but the guy I went on a date with WAS entitled, misogynist and disrespectful!" Yep, because you're dating Chad. Social norms dictate that you're polite and decent to your equals, but they're much less restrictive of your treatment to your inferiors. The man you dated is completely socially calibrated- he is your superior, and him disrespecting you is in line with social norms, because he has a rotation of 10 other girls just like you who will put up with it.

"b-b-but I'm emotionally perceptive and can ALWAYS tell when there's something off about a guy!" Nope, you are arrogant and delusional.

"b-b-but guys who think this way always tell on themselves!!!" Nope, you are arrogant and delusional, not to mention also unintelligent (since you falling to a classic case of toupee fallacy).

WrathOfFoes · 2024-07-18T14:55:04+00:00

Discrimination towards women is more recognizable to them because they are the targets of such discrimination. There is not “sniffing out,” I agree with that. It’s more so what people say that they don’t realize is sexist. It only seems like a personality detector because you don’t realize the more subtle misogyny in their statements.

I do agree that women aren’t magical like that, though. It’s far more complex than just one gender being one way in an absolute. These are all broad stereotypes on which we are relying

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2024-07-18T18:20:26+00:00

You might not have been a nerd in high school so you might not get what they're talking about when they say that, what those women do sense is a lack of confidence and some kind of virgin desperation, the people you've mentioned: ted bundy and domestic abusers have no problem with confidence or their persona at all, they know how to sell themselves and appear calm with a wicked personality underneath, they absolutely know how to hide it, that's the difference really. The guys who were never popular or weren't used to talking to girls never learned to refine the way they come across. That's what they are mostly talking about. Social calibration is a good word for it.

You have to kinda assume that there are women out there who have good intuition when they get like a weird vibe, but it's not special it's just when they are keen enough not to fall for a scam, sadly a lot of them still do.

driggsky · 2024-07-18T19:06:35+00:00

Women’s ‘radar’ is for 1. Safety concerns 2. Masculine / dominant traits

Their ‘radar’ doesn’t care so much about misogyny or whatever a ‘personality’ is lol

They simply are turned off by unsafe men or men who are not highly masculine (basically men who show traits that are either good genetics or good protection and resource acquisition).

Women just say bullshit about men being ‘creepy’ or ‘desperate’ or ‘not attractive’ when they detect that the man fails either the safety or the masculinity aspect that they are vetting for

Plazmatron44 · 2024-07-19T10:50:21+00:00

Women are good at spotting things like autism in a man but only in terms of thing thinking there's something off about him, this is often met with disgust. I know this because as an autist I've lost count of the number of times women have acted as though I'm something they found stuck to the bottom of their shoes, I wasn't rude to them, I didn't stare at their tits, they simply decided with ten seconds of meeting me that they didn't like me.

It's ironic that those same women then go one to date men who actually are pieces of shit because the "second sight" suddenly goes on holiday.

Somerandomdudereborn · 2024-07-18T13:14:04+00:00

As long as you're are attractive as a man you can have the most toxic personality traits you still will get dates and get laid, and this applies to most woman too.

The "female tool" that never seems to fail when "sensing" average and below average man but always seems to fail when the attractive toxic man it's being "sensed"

Goodgurusarefree · 2024-07-18T15:20:46+00:00

You think that these traits aren't glaringly obvious shortly after you meet and start talking to a guy? Misogynists and weirdos aren't shy about it. They say and do f'd up things on the first date, sometimes even before.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-18T10:07:23+00:00

You don’t need “intuition” to find out if someone is desperate or misogynist, they’ll openly do it for you. Just watch and listen, and most time they’ll hang themselves for you.

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No_Yogurt_4602 · 2024-07-18T17:31:09+00:00

Underlying traits have superficial manifestations; the deeper level at which "one's true thoughts/feelings" exist, such as it is, helps to shape the one which we present to the world (and, tbf, for some people there's not much distance between the two).

Women who tell someone that their having certain traits is obvious aren't implying that they have like a preternatural ability to detect those traits, but that pattern recognition (conscious or not) over time has left them with some pretty strong correlations between certain surface-level thoughts/behaviors and more fundamental characteristics. Bundy isn't a great counterpoint to this because he was literally a psychopath, one of the defining traits of which is being superficially charming (also, domestic abusers categorically see a significant overrepresentation of personality pathologies relative to overall population).

Sudden_Difference432 · 2024-07-18T20:21:48+00:00

No women in real life have a clue what I really am. I can be just the most kind men and respectful when my thoughts are the opposite.

EugeneCezanne · 2024-07-18T21:04:18+00:00

As a man, I generally feel like I can sniff out dating desperation and bad attitudes from other men. Sometimes it seems very obvious and men are not as smooth as they think they are. But what does that really mean?

Does it mean I can do so every time? No.
Does it mean I can do so with anyone? No.
Does it mean I can do so in any preset amount of time? Also no.

As you said, social calibration is a thing. But so is detection of miscalibration. So already we can imagine two variables to the equation: the particular level of skill of the calibrator and the particular level of skill of the detector. These will vary between individuals.

We can further imagine confounding variables, like the mood of either subject, the attention of either subject, the context in which they meet, the expectations of either subject, the desires of either subject, the time they spend talking, etc.

So, ultimately, while I do think an instinct for detection exists, its actual reliability is all but impossible to determine and will vary wildly between individuals and pairings.

HOWEVER, the conclusion that detection is possible at all means that having desperation or a bad attitude, no matter how well you think you're hiding it, can only hurt your chances. Like most things in life, this is only probabilistic--but however probable it is or isn't, the outcomes can be only neutral or negative.

To use another example, let's consider the opposite problem: promiscuity.

There are women who won't consider dating John because he's promiscuous. So what if he doesn't mention that he's promiscuous? It might work most of the time. They might never know. However, the fact that it's true means it's at least possible that John will relax, have a good time, and let slip some subtle indication that he has views on casual sex that may imply promiscuity. Some women will notice that clue, some won't. Some won't even know they noticed it, but will just feel that something about John is off.

Of course it is also probabilistic that some non-promiscuous man will also say something that can be misinterpreted the same way. Never tell anyone I guaranteed that honesty will get you anywhere. But it does strike me as at least a little easier to get away with something that you actually didn't do.

EugeneCezanne · 2024-07-18T21:09:17+00:00

To expound on my point about skill...

It's why Ted Bundy managed to stay a respected, well-liked member of his community for many years even while being a killer

What this tells me is that Ted Bundy was really good at it. I wouldn't expect every one, or even the majority of people, or even all but a few, to be this good at it. When people stand out as historic examples of a thing, it's usually not because they were merely average.

and what 90% of men have been doing since age 10

Yeah, but... let's face it, there are many things most people have been doing all their lives but aren't particularly good at. I mean, we all started reading when we were 5 or 6, but is anyone on the internet ever satisfied with the reading comprehension of everyone else?

GGMcThroway · 2024-07-18T23:14:40+00:00

The ease at which a woman can "sniff out misogyny" is inversely proportional the amount of practice a man has at lying.

Like, women aren't psychic. This is obvious. If you're good enough at keeping up a facade, how will anyone know? If there are other tells, how is she going to know about them if she doesn't specifically have experience with them?

2024-07-19T04:23:28+00:00

It's definitely real. Never follow a woman's cues it's usually a trap.

Tasty-Document2808 · 2024-07-19T13:00:19+00:00

I have seen so many fat, smelly, misogynist men never go a day single. Those men are also often helpless without women.

It's hilarious to me that women deeply, truly believe in a just world.

Anonynymphet · 2024-07-19T13:47:32+00:00

I don’t think women have any extra intuition at all. I think men and women are similarly retarded, just in different ways.

If I try to play devils advocate though, and really reach, maybe women are generally on higher alert than men due to physical differences between the genders. I know back when I was trying to find a partner on OD, I would be very conscious of meeting in a public place as an example.

debuugger · 2024-07-20T01:13:27+00:00

I mean yeah women are just people they can't read minds

Besides the majority of predators are at least acquainted with their victim so this idea is kinda bonkers from the start.

debuugger · 2024-07-20T01:31:37+00:00

And here ladies and gentlemen we will see society collectively fail to recognize that someone can be correct and a member of insert x bad group(misogynists in this case)

Nuance is fucking dead

MrDoggif · 2024-07-18T11:36:45+00:00

Being on this group is like attending a conference of doctors talking about quantum physics

kingpinkatya · 2024-07-18T23:03:11+00:00

Abusers are manipulative and typically socially competent. And even though they have low self esteem at the end of the day, many appear charismatic and charming in the beginning.

Desperate people do not have an aura of confidence, esteem, etc.

These are two different audiences.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-07-18T12:19:07+00:00

Another "if women can't detect 100% of jerks, then they're not allowed to rule anybody out" post.

But sure, keep doing the same thing over and over again and wonder why it's not working.

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-18T11:38:20+00:00

Men on this sub be like “all women are dishonest, zero personality, no hobbies, high body count, post wall hypergamous bitches who won’t date me because I’m under 6 feet tall.”

Sure, buddy.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-07-18T11:03:50+00:00

I thought you would post some sources with this or something

NiceGuy_4eva · 2024-07-18T15:43:32+00:00

It only works against misogyny, desperation, boredom. It doesn't work against physical abuse and lying

SaBahRub · 2024-07-18T14:40:29+00:00

Sure we can. A little alcohol also goes a long way.

Also, actions, words, etc.

Nobody claimed it was perfectly accurate

shadowrangerfs · 2024-07-18T18:32:18+00:00

How come this female intuition can sniff out the shitty ex-boyfriends that they complain about?

obviouslymoose · 2024-07-18T23:59:13+00:00

I’m a woman and I would agree.

Fancy_Technology_563 · 2024-07-19T05:46:51+00:00

They can sniff it out just by the way a guy walks. But as soon as chad comes along with boomboxes of wailing sirens of red flags magically women are all "Tricked" and have no intuition whatsoever.

There are no Red Flags. Every "Bad" thing is only bad because the man isnt hot. Every single one has a positive spin if the dude is hot.

Gilaridon · 2024-07-19T16:46:16+00:00

I got a question.

Why does it seem that women's intuition only kicks in in situations where the woman in question isn't responsible/accountable for any bad behavior?

For example her intuition can somehow pick on her man cheating but can't pick up on her man finding out that she is cheating.

Her intuition picks up that he is lying to her about something but it doesn't kick in to let her know she is wrong to lie to him about something.

Simply put the more responsibility/accountability a woman has in a situation the less likely her intuition will kick in.

Title	The notion of a "female intuition" that can "sniff out desperation or misogyny" is completely idiotic and delusional.
Author	f_lachowski
Upvotes	219
Comments	485
Date	July 18, 2024 9:49 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e67inu/the_notion_of_a_female_intuition_that_can_sniff/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-notion-of-a-female-intuition-that-can-sniff.1524722 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524722

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