"Nice Guy" is just a strawman women use to describe men they don't like

wtknight · 2022-09-02T13:17:12+00:00

I’ve heard women use “nice guy” to describe men whom they consider friendly and like, but whom they are not attracted to, many times. I’m guessing that they still do. It’s not limited to men whom they don’t like.

What a “nice guy” is is a guy who, at least on the surface, tries to be pleasant towards women, but who hasn’t figured out how to hypergamously attract a woman, whether he thinks he is entitled to romance and sex with a woman or not.

Women don’t usually have much sympathy for men who “don’t get it”, as comments in this sub demonstrate. They kind of expect men to figure things out on their own. Even the genuinely nice guy is someone whom women think will somehow meet the “right woman” eventually. Women often don’t realize that this type of guy is going to have just as much trouble attracting someone.

Thus, it’s really up to successful men to teach other unsuccessful men how to attract women and not to expect much help from women. I just don’t think that those lessons need to incorporate misogyny.

nothatyoucare · 2022-09-02T14:47:05+00:00

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Cognitively_Absurd · 2022-09-02T14:53:14+00:00

1) so, I'd like to point out a couple things about those articles. As both discuss, this group of men who sleep around more are successful at being manipulative. I would go as far to say they score very highly on the dark triad personality traits. One interpretation of that, if for some reason you wanna assume the worst of women instead of the people with dark triad traits, is that women crave abusive men. Another possibility, is they fell victim to Machiavellian and/or sociopathic men. If you've studied psychology, both of those types of people come across as incredibly kind and sociable at first. It would take an expert in psychology to differentiate them from a legitimate sociable and kind person. Most women (and men) are not psychology experts. It would be unreasonable to blame women for falling victim to Machiavellian men. And, I bet if you were to look into it, probably women with dark triad traits also have more sex partners than women who don't have those traits. That's cuz players tend to get a lot of partners - that's their whole schtick: to trick, fool, and manipulate others. I would focus the blame on those with dark triad traits, not women as a gender.

2) This is overly simplistic, and again, would be blaming the victim of manipulative people. These abusive people are often very good at coming off charming. Just as if some men were manipulated by women and ended up abused, I wouldn't be blaming men as a whole for their "dating choices", that would be blaming the victim. I would blame those women high in dark triad traits. They're the perpetrator and absolutely no one else deserves the blame.

3) No, I think it's that most people, women included, lack the expertise in psychology to spot dark triad people. If women as a whole were psychology experts and able to spot dark triad people in advance, you bet we would absolutely be avoiding them. But to expect that of an entire gender is an entirely unfair expectation. Look into how many people get scammed, including men - would you be blaming them for being scammed or should the scammer have the blame?

blueberrypie02 · 2022-09-02T14:24:19+00:00

I think the meaning of ‘nice guy’ often gets distorted. I get the POV of men that say truly nice dudes don’t get the scenario they were sold (treat a woman right -> she is gonna like you).

But whenever I see ‘nice guy’ used in a discussion with other women the meaning is that a guy acted nice but once a woman said ‘no’ they reveal the fact that their behaviour was just an act. Think of scenarios when someone DMs you, you tell them you’re not interested and their reaction is ‘fine you were ugly anyways I was doing you a favour’. So I think men and women talk about two different breeds of nice guys. Because I am sure there are men out there that act nice and would know how to take rejection so the label of mysoginist is unfair and an insult. But, generally, women don’t include those men in the ‘nice guy’ category.

John_Oakman · 2022-09-02T16:06:47+00:00

Anything short of pure altruism in intentions is false moral virtues, and false moral virtues is an order of magnitude more despicable than overt wickness. And of course pure genuine moral virtues are completely unnoticeable by their nature.

It's not that complicated.

darksoul1622 · 2022-09-02T13:16:13+00:00

I said this in the daily post but allow me to copy it

As a male, I think the whole issue of nice guys vs assholes is often grossly oversimplified for the sake of argument. Keep in mind that like political opinions, except for the extreme outliers most people lie somewhere in the middle range of the spectrum (Chris Rock would have something to say about that). A lot of dudes I know including what you would call "jerks" show a bit of both extremes, depending on their stage in life, the people they are around, or their level of confidence in a particular setting. People experiment with rapid microchanges in personality in social situations, or even alternate in a chronic way over time. I haven't really met 100% tough guys or 100% perfect gentlemen in my experience.

Rather than the binary nice guy/asshole classification, it's probably more effective to imagine two categories or lists of character traits labeled "aggressive" (confidence, spontaneity, etc.) and "passive" (tact, sensitivity), or something to that effect. Most peoples' personalities are an amalgam of traits culled from both lists in a proportion that is unique to the individual. Kind of like a Myers-Briggs for sexual attractiveness, where the high school quarterback is a 70:30 aggressive/passive type. The point is that no one is stuck in a particular category, and you can pick appealing traits from the "aggressive" category to inherit if you work hard enough to improve yourself, and keep the "passive" traits that are attractive to women.

Admittedly though, it is much easier for the "aggression-heavy" males to learn how to play nice than it is for the quiet and sensitive dudes to suddenly adopt confidence in an effort to get women.

Here is a video that illustrates my point.

tl;dr- Girls don't like dating "jerks"; they like dating "nice guys" who have a few of the qualities usually attributed to jerks but by no means monopolized by them.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2022-09-02T18:08:33+00:00

I'm really tired of this aspergers shit about how only convicts are having sex.

Jesus.

A handful of riff-raff women like dangerous men. The vast majority, who are breeding this species to record numbers, are willfully fucking men with normal personalities.

toasterchild · 2022-09-02T13:38:32+00:00

Can we really be shocked that the quiet boys who listened to their mommies have a harder time in the sexual marketplace than the ones who developed age appropriate social circles?

You guys complain about getting betta buxxed later in life but really so many of you just finally crawl out of the womb later in life. Plenty of guys don't develop any sort of social confidence until they have been in the workforce a while.

fjfjjrbtvrvbsj · 2022-09-02T15:21:48+00:00

Nice guys are sensitive guys that have an anxious attachment style. They don't know proper boundaries. And this affects how they treat women. Because they don't know proper boundaries, when they get rejected by a girl they get extremely angry. Like they feel victimized. And it might be true to a degree. Women hate nice guys and treat them like trash. Especially narcissist women. Even though it's not their fault entirely, it has to do with childhood development. But that's where women become extremely cruel and spiteful. They don't really have a lot of empathy for nice guys or empathy just in general. So, there's both sides of the story.

-InquisitiveApe- · 2022-09-02T18:01:25+00:00

While "nice guy" is often used as a strawman, it is (in its correct use) used to refer to misogynists who think that women owe them sex, just because they were superficially "nice" (and not as if being nice is something you should be doing anyway, without expecting some physically intimate reward). They often become extremely hostile, in the face of rejection, resorting to more openly misogynistic and abusive insults.

Whether or not many women date bullies is irrelevant to the situation of an individual "nice guy" talking to an individual woman, where he has no right to demand sex from her or tell her off for saying no to him. Women can do whatever they like with their own bodies and do not need to be told off for it by strangers (you do however reserve the right to silently judge, if you really care).

I also reject the premise that "nice guys" are somehow separate from bullies and jocks - I actually think there is a significant crossover. I think many high school bully types would act nice to girls I knew and then would become pushy and aggressive once told no.

Also worth making a brief note about "nice guys" who are bullied and socially squished people, who think that all women reject them for being "nice" - no! Being low-confidence, weak and a social outcast does not mean you are "nice" - these are separate traits from kindness and also are generally very unattractive qualities to have. Bullies and jock types often do better on this and hence may sometimes come off as attractive to women who don't know better, but of course they lack decency as people. The truth is that you can have the qualities of a strong and confident man, while also being kind and courteous; the two are not at odds.

"Nice guys" are people who need to acknowledge this, as well work on their own weaknesses, rather than just blaming all women as if they are some hive mind. Being pathetic is not the same thing as being "nice". Also responding aggressively to rejection is anything but "nice".

2022-09-02T16:14:27+00:00

Attractive and confident people date. Women are well aware of this. Women don't always wanna spell it out to the "nice guys" because no one wants to deal with the defensiveness and anger that too often comes after. And it should be obvious. People like pretty people. I don't understand how spending time in this world doesn't make it painfully obvious that the more attractive a man/woman is the easier it is to date, regardless of personality.

If you're a jerk and hot, you'll date. If you're nice and hot, you'll date. If you're dumb and hot, you'll date. The less hot a person is, the more other qualities matter to make up for the lack of desirable genetics. When we see someone hot, our brain tells us to reproduce with that. Then we have a bunch of hormones flood our brain to try and reproduce so we can get the genetically best offspring. We're just animals. If you're not the biggest/hottest monkey, then you better have the most bananas.

Your study says nothing about wife beaters.

2022-09-02T14:22:53+00:00

I disagree. There are men who do not come across as nice and I don't like them or their shitty attitudes either.

Leather_Tomatillo199 · 2022-09-03T01:03:19+00:00

I believe that women call some one a “nice guy” when they don’t like him or because he’s toxic.

prizefighterstudent · 2022-09-03T13:22:24+00:00

The level of mentorship for young dudes now is non-existent as well -- unfortunately another issue that will garner little sympathy. Forget about sons of single mothers, because we all know the stats on that; fathers simply aren't equipped to put their sons on game (even socially) because they come from a completely different time pre-Internet. Most dudes are learning their concepts of social dynamics from Internet celebrities and YouTube -- idols who simply have nothing in common with their situation. You think a pimple-faced, 5'6 18-year old from Nebraska should really be learning life from Mr. Beast or the Paul brothers? Of course not, but that's the situation we find ourselves in.

I love what somebody said here:

Women don’t usually have much sympathy for men who “don’t get it”, as comments in this sub demonstrate. They kind of expect men to figure things out on their own.

Spot on, and it will not change. The unfortunate thing is that even socially adept dudes who figure it out don't always get the results they want nor expect. Again, something they'll just have to figure out on their own.

domdomdom333 · 2022-09-02T13:19:49+00:00

Of course trash men get to fuck way more, there's far more trash women around than quality ones.

At 18, the girls who you might want to introduce to your parents might have slept with only 3 dudes at most but the majority common trash had more bodies than fingers combined and onto their 2nd child.

NationalistGoy · 2022-09-02T19:33:10+00:00

In his book No more Mr. Nice Guy, Dr. Robert Glover outlines exactly why the nice guys aren't as nice as they are.

Nice guys are nice as long as they can get what they want from you, not because they are genionely nice people, a nice person is going to be nice and pleasant regardless if you don't want to do a favor to them
Nice guys often approach women (and men too) with a hidden agenda, Dr. Robert Glover calls it Covert Contracts (A COVERT CONTRACT IS AN UNSPOKEN AGREEMENT THAT YOU HAVE WITHIN YOUR OWN HEAD BETWEEN YOU AND SOMEBODY ELSE)
When Nice Guys don't get what they want, they lash out and hurt people around them

ffandyy · 2022-09-02T21:13:05+00:00

This is a complete misunderstanding of what the phrase “nice guy” actually means.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-09-02T13:46:25+00:00

I believe it's more that being a successful bully and being successful with women are caused by the same things (Being big and strong, leadership...) rather than women being attracted to men for being aggressive. The same man will probably not improve his chances by being less nice

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-09-02T20:22:48+00:00

The nice guy will perpetually put in any face to face conversation, post or Dm messages that he's the "nice guy" and then when the woman for whatever reason doesn't feel any masculine energy from him because he's just not her type he turns into a piece of shit. You understand that the label of nice guy is because the men actually say that they are the nice guy verbally in their conversation. Then when they don't get the outcome that they're trying to achieve from whatever woman.They turn into a misogynistic piece of shit.

infinitofluxo · 2022-09-02T17:49:22+00:00

Being nice is how less attractive people try to make up for not being gorgeous. Or being funny. When we know that we have a hard time being appealing to the people we want, it is just natural that we try to make up for it.

Simps will easily try to pay their way into dating too, and to them, it is how they understand being nice: "hey, I picked you and paid you a fancy dinner, now like me please, as you would like a strong guy with a beautiful face".

I try to be nice by first, looking for girls with interests that are not futile and girly, like intellectual ativities, cultural interests, travelling to explore places and not to make fancy photos for social status. I also enjoy conversations, I try to give emotional support, listening to them. I offer affection after sex.

But yes, I'm hurt by all the terrible stuff that women I loved did to me and I am pissed that men are being treated like shit nowadays. They already usually dislike me for not being the Chad with high social status they want, and they can dislike me more because I'm not simping to crazy feminist ideas. So I'm the "nice guy" they don't want to want.

Why would they have to put their feets on the ground and see that I'm the kind that can love them back, and understand that both men and women can do terrible things and sexism is being unfair to the other gender? It is just easier to keep being used by Chads because they are sexy enough for them to forget what betas offer, plus, I spoke my mind about being a men fucked up by society so I must be a dangerous misogynist bullet they were lucky to dodge.

They are just teaching men to be liars, I have to lie about my past relationships, they can't know my last girlfriend had borderline disorder and abused me because feminists say it is a red flag when men claim to have had a "crazy girlfriend". I can't tell them I had a girlfriend that lied all the time and cheated on me and was never in love with me but with the other guy. I can't tell them I was used by a gold digger. I can't have standards and tell them I can't date a girl that exposes her intimacy on Instagram.

So, in the end the lesson I'm taking is that I shouldn't be nice, I just have to act the way they want so I get some company and a pseudo-relationship that won't last because we will never bond and she will have behaviors that hurt me, like speaking feminist propaganda, being disrespectful by being close to other guys with no boundaries and so on.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-09-02T13:46:20+00:00

Are you sure your autism isn't what's turning women off instead of your "niceness".

yamb97 · 2022-09-02T13:46:57+00:00

“nice guy” is literally a meme about men proclaiming to be nice while frothing at the mouth calling you a disgusting whore and saying he didn’t want you anyways after you just rejected his advances, like there’s a whole sub about it wtf are you going on about

2022-09-02T15:20:33+00:00

Na, women use "great guy" to dodge you. Nice guy is a term men use to leverage sex in friendships with women. Sorry guys, gotta be better, have some accountability and know when to walk away and focus on your path. Your 20s are gonna suck unless you're attractive/tall/have financial means. Keep going, your 30s is when is starts to kick in so long as you're in shape and have worked on your finances.

LovesGettingRandomPm · 2022-09-02T19:59:28+00:00

It's funny how you try to catch women on this point logically when they don't take any position whatsoever, you're throwing frustration arguments into the wind, it's not bullies and jerks that they are after, they look for strength, you the nice guy are weak and they want to be with the winners so they don't end up in the slums if they have to choose people who are immoral and mean, they will do so hoping to be able to change them and focus their power towards something that benefits her. Sometimes this is a bad choice but it is a choice that they will take, they don't care about your poor mentality, they're smarter than that, you look at them as dumb and emotional but they outplay all of us so clearly they're not. They are imprecise yet effective.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-09-02T14:13:28+00:00

Have you considered the girls who date bullies are also bullies themselves?

YveisGrey · 2022-09-02T14:56:57+00:00

Pretty sure men came up with the “nice guy” thing I mean isn’t it men saying “give me a chance, I’m a nice guy”?

And of course low inhibition men have more sex they take more risks to get it also they often just straight up assault women, pressure them, lie etc… The reality is men aren’t being “rewarded” with sex for being bad boys, bad boys are just more likely to aggressively pursue casual sex even by nefarious means. But being absolutely goal oriented does not make one a “good person” if the only reason you aren’t selling drugs is because you make more money at your 9 to 5 you aren’t much better than a drug dealer. An actually decent human being wouldn’t sell drugs on PRINCIPLE.

Likewise by definition a nice guy isn’t trying to casually sleep with everything that moves or assaulting people or lying to get sex etc... he may have less sex overall because of that but again if he is actually a decent human being that won’t matter or influence him to start doing those bad things to get sex. Generally speaking people who are low inhibition and have some sense of morale are not recklessly pursuing casual sex encounters, assaulting others, abusing substances that make them even less inhibited etc… and overall “good people” simply don’t have as much casual sex male or female often they don’t even have sex unless they are in a relationship. I think if a man’s intent is to pursue casual sex recklessly and they are just too ugly or socially awkward to get play they aren’t really a “nice guy” so they can’t really argue that “nice guys finish last”.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-09-02T17:33:20+00:00

Learn statistics and realize that the effect sizes of these studies are remarkably low. It's also never crossed your mind that those same men may just be raping women. Shocker.
You're "excluded" by whoever because they aren't attracted to you. And that's likely a physical thing. Has nothing to do with niceness.
Behavioral patterns that you yourself fail to understand?

Buddy, I've been with enough women to know how they tend to get suckered in by abusers and whatnot. Typically but not always, the abuser puts on quite the front at the start. For example, I tend to bolt if we're not having sex on date 2. An abuser may court her for a few months before getting intimate. I tend to speak my mind regardless of whether I agree with the woman in question; and in the early stages of dating, women are very risk averse and looking for reasons to DQ you, so me 'being myself' gets me DQ'd a good amount. An abuser will lie lie lie lie lie.

Women can sense your vibe and they can sense how you view them. While I'm benevolent, I'm still unfortunately sexist --- working on it, like we all hopefully are --- and I make no effort to hide who I am or how I view the dating arena from anyone. Women sense this and are either 'shake my head and sigh' okay with it or 'no way jose' about it.

An abuser tends to be able to hide who they really are for a long period of time.

Again, you'd know if you had more experience. Which I can tell you don't. Which isn't a bad thing. But don't talk about things just because someone on the internet invented a bogeyman for you to blame bad life circumstances on.

gofigure62 · 2022-09-02T13:57:48+00:00

Girls are also bullies in high school and were more than likely dating their male peers. You've never seen the existence of a female bully in high school? I call bullshit. Women who date violent jerks and wifebeaters were often raised by violent jerks and wife beaters. In other words, you have zero concern regarding the life history and quality of a person who has sex with violent jerks and wife beaters.

I love how these conversations always ignore sane and average people. It's convent how you don't notice or see anything outside of crazy guys fucking women. This shows a highly skewed world view, with a complete disregard of anything rational or reasonable.

Misogyny is a multitude of things. The dictionary can help you with that. "dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women." Logic would also dictate that the women who are getting shot and stabbed by their abusive male partners, aren't the same category of women who are aware of what misogyny is and what it looks like.
The girl who got her teeth knocked down her throat and raped by her uncle on a regular basis is going to have a warped perception of men. Women have a disproportionate experience with traumatic abuse as children and teens in comparison to men. People who experience trauma to this degree are going to be fucked in the head as adults and will have dysfunctional relationships.

None of the thoughts and opinions that you've expressed here embody that of a "nice" person. If you are under the delusion that someone with any of the beliefs and sentiments that you've expressed is nice, then you are wrong.

If your life perspective only involves sexual access to women, and nothing else, then you are not a nice person.

TastyCucurbits · 2022-09-02T13:49:04+00:00

The second study you linked controlled for physical attractiveness, general health, etc., and then only concluded that more aggressive men got more partners. It says nothing about misogyny in these men.

This is just another "poor, hurt Nice Guy is good... mean women are the problem" post.

andrejusilva123 · 2022-09-02T13:24:29+00:00

You're describing nice guys who aren't attractive or confident. All else equal (looks, money, etc), women won't pick a jerk over a nice guy. What women despise are "nice guys" and r/niceguys ie self proclaimed good dudes who act nice but will turn into assholes immediately women don't reciprocate their sexual/romantic interest

vogel777 · 2022-09-02T14:06:06+00:00

You are spectacularly missing the point of what is meant by "nice guy". The "nice guy" women moan about is in actual fact not a nice guy at all, he only claims to be while being an absolute prick to any woman who doesn't react to his advances as he thinks they should, these men are bullies.

The studies you link don't suggest men are more successful with women when they beat women up.

"women, for some reason, lack the self-reflexive awareness to even come close in acknowledging dating behavioral patterns. They just drift through life internalizing social dynamics as a given or "just how things are, dummy", labeling the men who would question it "entitled misogynists"."

Typical "nice guy" logic, women find me unattractive and unsexy therefore women must be mindless idiots. Watch your hamster wheel doesn't come loose you're spinning it so hard 😂

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TotalTravesty · 2022-09-02T13:41:14+00:00

Have you ever described yourself as a “nice guy?” Have you ever thought women should like you based on your personality, which is “nice?” Have you ever criticized the girl you liked because she was dating a guy who wasn’t as “nice” as you? If so, then “nice guy” isn’t a strawman, it’s them playing the game on the terms you set.

KayRay1994 · 2022-09-02T13:55:54+00:00

nah “nice guys” are real, i think we’ve all met or seen one - i think the fact that you aren’t seeing it tells me more about your lack of self awareness than anything (as is usually the case with disgruntled nice guys)

medlabunicorn · 2022-09-02T16:41:21+00:00

There’s a difference between a nice guy and a self-declared Nice Guy. The latter does not actually respect women; he treats ‘chivalrous’ behavior as a token he can put into a woman-shaped vending machine to get sex out, and resorts to the interpersonal equivalent of kicking and punching the machine when it doesn’t work. See r/niceguys for examples of this. Women who get burned by Nice Guys who actually didn’t respect them- badmouthed them to friends, broke promises, etc- sometimes turn to honest bad boys, because at least then they’re not being lied to to their faces.

Actual nice guys, who have lives of their own and substance to bring to a relationship other than mere inoffensiveness, get snapped up pretty quickly.

ruboyuri · 2022-09-02T13:47:27+00:00

Oh no, that’s how these tantrum throwers describe themselves

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-02T14:47:57+00:00

oh my god. “nice guy” is just a colloquialism used to describe guys who believe they’re supposed to get women because they’re “nice” and life is unfair because they don’t get them. there’s no “strawman” involved.

Some of these “bullies” and shitty guys are getting girls. just like it’s only some girls who will get with these men. but guess what? plenty of actually nice men are ALSO getting women. more guys who are nice are getting women than these shitty guys. women go for plenty of nice men, but this doesn’t mean a woman is going to go with you just because you’re nice. nice is only one attribute. i like dark haired men but am i gonna just go date any dark haired guy there is? NO.

plus, one of the biggest issues with these guys- these guys are NOT usually actually nice. they just claim to be. and then they go off on an offensive rant that paints women in a terrrible light

2022-09-02T18:50:48+00:00

“Nice guys” are basically setting themselves up to become extremely nihilistic. They go to extra effort and being a doormat repeatedly without any female affection makes them bitter incel mass shooter types. Women are never honest about what they are actually attracted to.

hdksndiisn · 2022-09-02T20:12:05+00:00

Women: “WE WANT EQUALITY IN ALL MATTERS” Also Women: “MEN MUST ASK ME OUT/PAY FOR DATES/EARN MORE THAN ME/WORK MORE THAN ME/INITIATE SEX/ETC”

Women: “MEN SHOULD EXPRESS THEIR EMOTIONS. WE LIKE IT WHEN THEY DO.” Man comes home from work, is laid off, his mother dies, & his dog gets hit by a car. Girlfriend complains for 2 hours before letting him speak, crying about her friends vague, potentially mean comment on Instagram. Man listens and consoles her. Then tells gf “I’m having a rough day, my mom died, I lost my job…” gf rolls eyes, sighs loudly “Ugh” thinking “OMG HERE WE GO, TRAUMA-DUMPING ON ME LIKE ALWAYS. impatiently looks around for an exit…

Nigglesscripts · 2022-09-02T20:51:29+00:00

“Men who report engaging in more physical violence tend to also report having more sex partners” these are men reporting this. It’s not a fact. Also take into consideration if physically violent “wife beaters” are getting more sex they are doing so through rape.

Maybe educate yourself on how studies work. Additionally try not and evaluate women’s “dating behavioral patterns” and focus on your own. Also move on from the “Im a nice guy and can’t get a date” stage of your life. Get some new material and some relevant studies since you don’t know how they work.

2022-09-02T13:49:43+00:00

"nice guys" are people, usually dudes, who just act nice in order to get laid. Then when it doesn't work they usually become not so nice after.

example: nice guy only helps girls in math class and never helps the guys. a good guy would help both.

PreparationWorried33 · 2022-09-02T14:19:40+00:00

No it’s used to describe men that call themselves nice, good men when they’re not.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-02T15:25:50+00:00

For some women yes. However men do the same thing with "nice girls"

no_bling_just_ding · 2022-09-02T17:33:14+00:00

as a boy the "nice guy" fell for the little lies his own mother fed him. Then the boy entered high school and started noticing the girls were dating bullies and merely asked "why do they get girlfriends when I treat women with respect?" Later in life he discovered that violent jerks and wifebeaters get more sex and that their misogyny does not make them unattractive as we were told. It was patently false.

if i ever have kids... this is one lesson they won't need to learn from anybody else.

YourAverageTurkGuy · 2022-09-02T23:35:12+00:00

The nice guy label has some additional context. The stereotypical nice guy is generally meek, socially awkward, physically unappealing, people-pleasing, and low self-esteemed. These are the guys women don't want to date.

On the other hand, if you're a confident, attractive and succesful man who's also nice you would have zero problems in dating.

Bullies on the other hand are physically dominating and command some sort of fear/respect from their peers. This leads to higher confidence which also helps when they're approaching women. It's a simple paradigm really. Do you expect a girl who's in high school to choose the cowardly nice guy over physically dominating and popular bully? In most cases, she wont. Would you choose the intelligent and funny but physically unappealing girl over the shallow 9 in your class that everyone wants to bang? I'm pretty certain you wouldnt. Don't worry though, people come to their senses when they're older.

2022-09-02T13:33:53+00:00

not me because my bf is a simp 💪🏽

AquaChip · 2022-09-02T14:36:09+00:00

“Nice guy” is a manipulator. A man who act as a doormat and simp with the goal to get sex. When he doesn’t get sex a switch flips and he’s not so nice anymore.

GridReXX · 2022-09-02T22:18:04+00:00

Regarding point 3, it’s more women are caught off guard and probably turned off by the utter lack of intuitiveness and perceptiveness from that sort of guy. It’s peculiar to her in the same way you find “naturally internalizing social dynamics” peculiar.

You may say that’s not fair because those guys aren’t turned off by the women.

But alas, men and women are different. Behavioral adeptness is a core part of what arouses women. Not as much the case for men.

Professional_Ad705 · 2022-09-02T14:12:18+00:00

You can be a nice guy and still have game… I really feel like a lot of you are “nice” but have no idea how to woo a girl or talk to her and keep her interested in you.. being nice is just one of many traits it takes to get a girl. I don’t understand you guys on this page you try to use all these scientific studies and try to bitch and complain about women instead of trying to conform into someone they would like.. don’t hate the player hate the game… learn how to fucking play it. Girls like assholes? Okay be more dominant don’t complain about it lol

oh shit nice guys downvoting me who get no pussy and complain, when I had 4+ likes before lol

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-09-02T13:49:21+00:00

Women dont date bullies. They date smart, nice men that appear to be athletic enough to protect them. I dont have a single friend who dated a bully.

carritotaquito · 2022-09-02T18:25:39+00:00

Y'all are

WRONG!!!!!!!

Exhibit A: Pete Davidson. He's a good, caring dude, yet ladies clamor over him.

Microtyrannus · 2022-09-02T14:35:28+00:00

"Nice guys" are the misogynists. The attractive alpha dudes who intimidate other men are quite courteous and respectful toward women.

jayval90 · 2022-09-02T16:53:28+00:00

"Nice guys" are not liked because they don't ask for anything. This makes her feel useless at a certain level. Girls want to know that they can do something for their guy (other than smile and say thank you).

And yes, some girls are just shitty. But most aren't, and guys who try too hard to be nice genuinely aren't good to be around for too long.

magiksissclit · 2022-09-03T04:43:56+00:00

Noooooo, it’s so much more literal and specific than that and in fact it was men who coined the term, turned it into a mantra and were so oblivious to how ironic it was they went WHOOSH when it became a meme.

The “nice guy” is the guy who swears he’s such a catch because of how nice he is but is actually just super inexperienced and hasn’t yet realized they’re no catch so long as they continue to blame others for their shortcomings en lieu of working on themselves and putting forth some effort toward…..anything productive

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-09-03T04:45:13+00:00

Nice guy refers to either: 1. You aren’t a nice guy at all. You are faking it to get sex with means you aren’t nice. Just AH trying to be nice until you don’t get sex and then the claws come out. 2. You are boring and spineless and have nothing else going for you.

Take your pick. You can be nice and interesting and hot and rich. So why would i pick the nice spineless and boring guy?

2022-09-04T08:08:20+00:00

Maybe the reason those men get more sex is because they can’t hold down a stable relationship and are more likely to commit sexual assault and purchase sex. They also tend to me more hypersexual. Your article also says nothing about being a wife beater. Being physically aggressive doesn’t inherently equal a wife beater.
I have seen men themselves self describe as a nice guy but then say women want to be raped in the same sentence. Men like you don’t bring up these things out of concern for women, you bring them up out of envy. That’s the problem.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-09-02T14:29:35+00:00

Nice guys will always finish last. Women want toxic bad boy alphas. That's because those toxic bad boy alphas know how to turn women on so women are very sexually attracted to them. Women don't like nice guys because nice guys are boring and lame and can't make girls wet due to not having any game or having trash game. Convicted felons get way more nookie than nice guys. Bad boys know how to arouse women. They put women on an emotional rollercoaster, they put them in an emotional whirlwind. Nice guys either can't do that or won't. They're beta males and women don't want uninspiring men who aren't very masculine. They want the men they perceive to be the highest value alpha stud. Women pre-select the men other women have already chosen. Most men since a young age have been trained and conditioned to be unattractive beta male nice guy losers especially by their mothers. Tons of mothers specifically single mothers damage their sons. Chivalry will never get a man the women he actually desires and fantasizes about.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-02T18:58:04+00:00

The only nice guys I’ve met I’ve actually been on dates with. Problem is they weren’t nice. They were actually worse than the so called bad guys. They will try to manipulate you into thinking that what they want is genuine, reinforcing the idea that they are nice. At the end they were just as bad.

RealNiceLady · 2022-09-03T03:53:00+00:00

A nice guy is a guy who tries to seem nice, but is not really nice.

lawlitachi · 2022-09-04T15:05:35+00:00

“Niceguy” is when a guy acts very friendly to you up and until the moment when you say “Actually I’m not interested in dating you,” at which point he does a 180 and starts calling you all kinds of expletives.

That is a Niceguy in my understanding.

bunnakay · 2022-09-02T21:24:42+00:00

It's actually quite simple: you either like women as fellow human beings...or you don't.

If you don't but are still nice to them anyway just to get in their pants, you're a nice guy™.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-09-02T14:48:41+00:00

Nice guy always reminds me of the Alec Balwin speech in “Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross”

“Nice guy? Who gives a shit!? Good father? Go home and play with your kids! You want to work here: Close!”

Nice guy? What does that have to do with getting her excited and wet? You want to get a girl: become fuckable.

lowlifedougal · 2022-09-02T14:57:55+00:00

most of what u say is generally true in reality ... dont expect any reality here though...alot of the women here are unfortuntely and probably unintentionally live in a virtue signal spiral... They will disagree for the sake a disgreeing and they will somehow claim they are the magically exception to the rule,,, yet none of this pans out IRL, because their actions never reflect thier idealism,

Any-Bottle-4910 · 2022-09-02T15:02:19+00:00

Not gonna lie, I sense a lot of anger here. But I will agree on a smidge of it-

Women are not honest with us nor themselves on what they like in a potential dating partner. I do not know why this is, but in 19 years of bartending I did notice one thing that may be a contributing factor. They bullshit each other with virtue signaling constantly when in a group, but are more honest 1:1 with each other.

calfshrug · 2022-09-02T15:02:36+00:00

How does the image speak to you OP? I will say the rest of my part later

mib732 · 2022-09-02T15:39:30+00:00

What an absolute gold rush of a post. I hope you receive the relationship of your liking, and may you live happily ever after.

MassageGymnist · 2022-09-02T16:24:17+00:00

I pull the straw out the bag. Actually i pull the cat out the hat uh woah

mumblebumblegrumble · 2022-09-02T23:27:14+00:00

Nah. Women just describe men they aren't attracted to as ugly. It's really not complicated.

Lemongrasschan · 2022-09-03T11:00:37+00:00

The shittiest men I’ve ever known were self proclaimed nice guys. Maybe they were trying to hide behind the label so they didn’t have to acknowledge who they really were.

2022-09-08T11:20:39+00:00

Painfully British photo.

badcreddit690 · 2022-09-08T19:56:49+00:00

Nice guys do nice things but it's with an agenda usually to get sex. That's why I think girls don't like nice guys.

Title	"Nice Guy" is just a strawman women use to describe men they don't like
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	401
Comments	418
Date	September 2, 2022 1:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x412y1/nice_guy_is_just_a_strawman_women_use_to_describe/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/nice-guy-is-just-a-strawman-women-use-to-describe.1130375 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130375

Comments

WRONG!!!!!!!