Men are told to "touch grass" and "talk to women" but if they fumble they get to be creep shamed on social media

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-10-19T14:37:25+00:00

‘Touch grass’ isn’t advice. It’s social shaming to try and paint whatever argument you have made as something only a basement dwelling neckbeard who doesn’t wash would say. It’s no different than people saying ‘incel vibes’, even when it’s obvious the person being accused isn’t an incel.

It’s a bad faith rhetorical device, nothing more.

MasterTeacher123 · 2023-10-19T12:30:42+00:00

I remember that walking in nyc video because someone pointed out that there was no white guys and then a backlash ensued lol

analt223 · 2023-10-19T13:58:17+00:00

It seems like everyone wants men to fail in hopes of

1) Women want men to fail as some revenge fantasy/sisterhood strength

2) Other men want men to fail because "I'm the one she should be fucking"

Its just fucking sad. A lot of people would be happier if we could just be more encouraging and happy to see others succeed (in life in general, but dating seems to always be the hot topic so that primarily i guess)

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-10-19T13:04:34+00:00

Stop listening to women complain

Muscletov · 2023-10-19T12:20:10+00:00

It's probably not a deliberate conspiracy, but lots of people, women in particular, steadily work towards making online dating and social media the only socially acceptable venues for men to approach women. And why wouldn't they? Via online dating, women have a huge catalogue of men available and can filter ruthlessly from the safety of their home. It can also be used as a source of money ("cashapp in bio" etc.).

Safinated · 2023-10-19T13:35:23+00:00

You could be arrested or shamed a hundred years ago too. Or hung from a tree and burned alive if you were black and talked to a white woman

Hoopy223 · 2023-10-19T14:00:17+00:00

I half wondered if that doofy guy in the clerk video was a Redditor trying to “touch grass” lol.

Letting feminists make the rules means insanity because they’ll constantly change them to suit their feelings. Like Calvinball. And of course anyone who points out the insanity is labeled a (whatever).

Just more of the same stupidity that’s infecting our society.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-19T12:54:04+00:00

The club one is definitely a rule 1, rule 2 thing. If you don’t know if you’re following the rules, still the place to take your shot.

Is it fair you have to put yourself out there? No, but datings literally not supposed to be fair for men. There’s a reason so man less men reproduce. And if you’re scared to try, we’ll, you know what side you’ll end up on

2023-10-19T13:46:13+00:00

now we came to the point where men saying "I find you interesting wanna grab coffee sometimes" gets labeled as harassment because it "bothered" a woman going about her day.

No, this only happens rarely on social media by attention whore crazy chicks. Don't live your life afraid of some weird terminally online attention whore.

ArcaneKnight__00 · 2023-10-19T16:11:02+00:00

How hard is “no thanks, I am not interested” to hard to say (women) and/ OR too hard to understand (men).

Ohmaygahh · 2023-10-19T19:22:01+00:00

I think you're trying to speak to the point that there is a concerted effort, by many entities, to discourage men from trying to initiate sexual/romantic attention towards unknown women outside. Yes that part is true.

What I don't believe to be true is the concept of verbal consent. Human spoken language is, at worst, 150,000 years old. Humans, and our human like ancestors have been walking the earth for millions of years. Are you telling me that ALL sexual encounters prior to language were unwanted and non consensual? That's clearly bullshit.

GridReXX · 2023-10-19T15:11:42+00:00

Every guy I know who gets ample pussy (no matter if he’s Chad, Chad Lite, funny, famous, suave, average, whatever, 5’7 or 6’4) has been called annoying or a creep or “doing too much” by some chick somewhere at some point. It’s part of the learning curve.

Get over it it. They did. That’s the burden of being the sex pest who’s pursuing people to satisfy his sex cravings. We all have our burdens.

Aromatic_File_5256 · 2023-10-19T15:19:59+00:00

You are not going to get arrested for fumbling as long as you don't do stuff like follow her or touch her inappropriately. What do you care if some random post a tik tok like the one who shared?

sorearm · 2023-10-19T16:58:11+00:00

Just don't bother interacting with them.

Puzzled-Match-6713 · 2023-10-19T13:13:32+00:00

I just gotta say that as a woman I don't have the balls to call men ugly bc I don't think I'm the last coke bottle in the desert. I know I would get shit on if I said something like that on social media. I'll just keep my mouth shut lol

Important-Roll782 · 2023-10-19T15:15:41+00:00

Why do you take every complaint women make seriously? They like to whine about men. Always have, and always will.

Basic concept. Judge women by their actions, not their words.

blingbladeade · 2023-10-19T13:16:40+00:00

LOL This brings me back to a time where I tried talking to a girl at a club and she just started filming me for her SC story so she could show her friends and laugh at me.

rpujoe · 2023-10-19T16:28:51+00:00

Average and below average men have largely been boxed out of the dating market by the top 10-20%, so you can either do the work to level yourself up or be left behind. But, there's no guarantees doing the work to improve yourself will be enough.

As I've said repeatedly on youtube, "not everyone gets to be an astronaut".

Life isn't fair. All we can really do is maximize our strengths, minimize our weaknesses, and accept that which we cannot change. The wildcard to this sentiment is "Geomaxing", aka going where you are appreciated and stand out in a positive way. If that means getting a passport and going overseas, then so be it.

TL;DR - Do what you need to do to become the best version of yourself, and in a place that gives you the best opportunities.

NoFapGymColdShowers · 2023-10-19T18:41:22+00:00

Dude just be good looking and you wont suffer from those complaints. Man, this discussions are becoming really pointless now, you already know the answer to all of this. Chad rizz , ugly harassment .

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-10-19T15:19:34+00:00

Women dont want me. They are happier being single. The only reason they will end being single is if you are handsome or rich.

metasekvoia · 2023-10-19T15:42:42+00:00

TLDR: don't cold approach.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-19T16:06:15+00:00

Dude..... if you're afraid of approaching someone you find attractive because of what people on the internet say, then you just gave them all your power. I've never had a problem approaching women and I do it often. I've probably done 900 cold to luke warm approaches in my life and I'm 25. Nothing bad has ever happened. Closest was she had a boyfriend or a husband I didn't see but I can diffuse that easily.

G0dZylla · 2023-10-19T13:00:23+00:00

Seeing the comments on that video is depressing, like that's what they think when an unnatractive man approaches them

Taggerung1013 · 2023-10-19T17:07:56+00:00

Trying to interact with women in 2023 is just asking for trouble.

Electronic_West_1831 · 2023-10-19T12:36:44+00:00

What constitutes a “fumble” is directly related to how attractive the guy is - the men who are labelled creeps and shamed for it are those who have the audacity to approach women who view them as being beneath them; if a man is good looking enough, social ineptitude is no barrier to success

BioNipple · 2023-10-19T13:03:16+00:00

You have to let it slide brother. Is it fair? Not really.

If you ever want to feel fair to a women, third world countries are the only way.

Otherwise, this is the price for freedom. Freedoms of speech are protected.

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-19T12:51:54+00:00

This is the result of two or three decades of pick up artist behavior. Men tell one another not to care about women and disregard women’s feelings entirely. “no man who has every been successful with women has given two shits about whats going on in their heads”

Women can’t get away with assertive rejections, so this is their method of revenge. It’s petty, but no more mean spirited than the antisocial behavior exhibited by pick up artists.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-10-19T12:29:20+00:00

no man who has every been successful with women has given two shits about whats going on in their heads or what they "blast" out to their dumb friends circle on social media. stop thinking about womens internal lives.

wtknight · 2023-10-19T12:14:54+00:00

Most women who say that men should touch grass want men to become part of social groups and to meet women that way rather than to cold approach them.

Of course, a man can be creepy even in a social group, but I think that the hope is that the process of him being in a social group will teach him how to properly socialize with women and to not be creepy.

Shebalied · 2023-10-19T12:21:06+00:00

"I find you interesting wanna grab coffee sometimes" gets labeled as harassment

Nope it doesn't.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2023-10-19T16:04:10+00:00

Has it occurred to ya’ll that "talk to women" generally means get to know the women in your social and work circles, not hit on strangers?

I have no problem with cold, approaches but "talk to women" is not advice to just do more of that. it’s advice given because a lot of you guys here have no female friends, don’t seem to have any social connections with women, and so when you do try to hit on women, it’s really clear you don’t know how to talk to women.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-19T17:31:05+00:00

To all the people saying men only approach because they find you attractive.. but that does not mean sexual interest... Because the fact of the matter is no person is gonna cold apportion someone they don't find visually appealing...

the_jingster · 2023-10-24T13:34:19+00:00

Women generally get an ick when a guy they perceive to be genetically inferior tries to improve himself in any way. That includes going to the gym and guess what... It includes approaching attractive women.

sonofsochi · 2023-10-19T13:28:35+00:00

100% cap 🧢. The only point I’ll give you is that if they already look very involved or bush in what they are doing, then yes you are essentially harassing this person, be it male or female. Feel free to present an example of this because it’s patently untrue.
Your point is what exactly? Women should just sit there and be uncomfortable when they are quite clearly not interested? Women don’t owe you shit, not their time, attention, or space. It’s not their responsibility to make up for your lack of social skills. Keep in mind that you also aren’t the first man that’s approached her and every-time this happens, the interaction can potentially be life threatening for the woman. This is how women REGULARLY get assaulted and/or killed. That is a possibility that you never have to consider because the likelihood of that happening to you practically indiscernible to 0%.
You’re basically being a rape apologist now and it’s sad. You don’t need a notarized form for consent but it truly is not difficult to get and check for consent

Clementinequeen95 · 2023-10-19T14:04:25+00:00

If you think that asking a girl for coffee is the same as screaming sexual slurs at her then you have some serious problems to figure out my guy. All women ask if that y’all be polite and leave us alone if we ask you to- but so many men cannot seem to handle the walking away part and that’s why we’re here

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-10-19T13:57:30+00:00

Dude, by touch grass, start by spending a year just expanding your social circle and not focusing on dating. Specifically, make female friends.

If you can’t interact with a woman as a friend, you’re never going to develop the social intuition to have a chance in a relationship.

Legit, find women and no matter how hot they are or how much you like them, make them off limits in your mind. Just become friends with them.

SoooDisappointed · 2023-10-19T16:16:50+00:00

Dude, no. I'll say it once again: don't be a simp, do what you like, be who you are, enjoy yourself, and let the possibility of the right woman or women entering your life a matter of luck. And control your sex-drive via medication if necessary. This is all there is to it.

The only reason why I still spend time here is to debate lies about how shit supposedly works and dumb accusations and conclusions that some women do about men, but you guys better stop being so clueless too. No one, men or women, should put the weight of their lives and happiness on the other gender.

Maybe men and women will eventually both learn to be happy on their own, or maybe men as a whole will be more "valuable" this way. But that's supposition and should be seen only as a possible colateral consequence, not your focus. Never do anything thinking about increasing your chances to get better with women. It's pathetic to make efforts on winning over people who have a negative bias toward you, and that's the case of most women's perspective on men. You will know when and IF you find someone that acts and thinks differently and then you can both do similar efforts to get along with each other, with the proper care not to be manipulated by her or by your own dick. Either that or you will enjoy a happy, independent life alone.

MoreSanitizerPls · 2023-10-19T12:14:08+00:00

She’s not revealing his identity so I’m not sure what the problem is. I wouldn’t give a shit if someone went on social media and told an embarrassing story about me, as long as they don’t use my name or otherwise doxx me.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-19T12:46:11+00:00

You haven't showed that a single person thinks this is harassment. Even the thing you posted wasn't saying anything was harassment, it was just making fun of people. Just because something isn't harassment or other people are allowed to do it doesn't mean anyone has to like it or not talk negatively about it. (And quite frankly, the reason why an enthusiastic yes is considered the standard for consent is that even a "no" is often said to be not a real or clear "no", and these straight, to the point "no"s often are responded to aggressively so you have to cushion the fall somewhat.)

LillthOfBabylon · 2023-10-19T12:50:42+00:00

Men are told to "touch grass" and "talk to women" but if they fumble they get to be creep shamed on social media

If a guy fumbles so bad that he’s harassing women, putting his face in women’s tits, and being racist towards minorities, then it's well deserved. I don’t know why you guys have to lie about what women find creepy, when women can tell you what happened to them that they find creepy.

shonenhikada · 2023-10-19T13:03:31+00:00

Consent isn't even define by a woman saying "yes", since we have stories with celebs where women willingly sleep with them then years/months/decades down the line claim that they were raped. This also happens even with normal guys who choose not to pursue LTR with a woman who tried to coerce him with sex and then she claims he "raped" her.

vivienneebackwood · 2023-10-19T13:06:31+00:00

why can’t we complain? or make jokes? it’s not that serious. grow up.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-10-19T12:48:32+00:00

I don't know what "touch grass" means, and I have never seen a catcall in real life. The bottom line is, if you don't look good, women will automatically lable you as a creep no matter what you say.

GodspeedHarmonica · 2023-10-19T18:04:39+00:00

So?

If you can't handle rejection, you shouldn't date.

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-10-19T13:11:25+00:00

And yet many women manage to speak to other women or men without coming off as creepy.

It’s not that hard to be polite and have awareness of your surroundings and the other person’s body language before and after you approach them. It’s also not that hard to not have a mantrum/turn into a stalker when you hear the word “no”.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-10-19T14:04:22+00:00

now we came to the point where men saying "I find you interesting wanna grab coffee sometimes" gets labeled as harassment because it "bothered" a woman going about her day.

Yeah, people have been peddling that bullshit for decades. When I was a kid in the mid-90s, I remember when sexual harassment lawsuits were a big hot button topic and pundits on TV would make the same garbage claim that now men were going to get sued just for asking a woman out.

SentientNose · 2023-10-19T18:06:27+00:00

No one is getting shamed on social media.

Less than 0.001% of men. The fact you believe that any percentage of men irl get shamed on social media means you haven't touched grass. Stop being a pussy, go outside join social groups frequent bars and talk to both men and women with no intention of sex and relationships for 6 months. Then switch to actually pursuing women.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-10-20T22:06:42+00:00

Who gives a shit. Boo hoo someone shit talked me on social media.

Grow a fuckin spine

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-10-20T23:05:39+00:00

You are overly thinking all of this. Just make some friends and have an active social life. Meet women naturally like everyone else.

AutoModerator · 2023-10-19T12:10:46+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2023-10-19T15:20:11+00:00

You all follow too many made up rules. You all also spend too much time listening to or reading women complaining.

Just do things your own way and don't harm anyone.

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-10-19T16:04:40+00:00

Good job informing your beliefs from TikTok and passing them as absolute truth.

MidoriEgg · 2023-10-20T06:40:54+00:00

Any social interaction can be a risk and there’s always the chance it will go wrong. If you ask your boss for a raise, then he might start to dislike you, if you stand up to a bully it could make things worse. OR it could make things better. It’s the same for asking out/approaching a woman. There is a risk of failure, there always has been. If your fear of failure/rejection is so great you don’t feel able to approach women in any capacity, I can understand that. But if you aren’t willing to take any risks socially, then you are going to miss out a lot of life. Social skills are like any skills, you have to practice to get better.

_Woodrow_ · 2023-10-20T12:28:36+00:00

The better advice is to get involved in activities where you are likely to mingle with women instead of just cold approaching a girl you think is cute on the street.

If you’re in school- get involved in coed clubs. If you’re older- find beer league sports or outdoor activity clubs or even take a cooking class or something.

Finding a social group to do out of the house activities with is going to improve your chances of meeting someone interested in getting to know you by a hundredfold.

If you want your situation in life to change - you’re going to have to get out of your comfort zone in order to make it happen.

Dstar538888 · 2023-10-21T17:54:00+00:00

Well those guys should learn to read social cues and body language then🤷🏽‍♀️ you guys want women to hold your hand like a baby and spoon feed you about what to do like you’re not a whole entire grown ass man🤦🏾‍♀️ figure it out!

Third_X_the_A_charm · 2024-01-26T09:36:40+00:00

Can someone show me an example where 'creep shaming' for simple, normal attempts to ask a woman out gets posted on social media? Honestly that's just a symptom of female solipsism- the state of being where, hyperbolized, some women think they're the only person in existence and everyone else just has to know how to 'get in line' and it's usually accompanied by grandiose feminarcissism which promotes unrealistic expectations of domination and rulership. Not saying women can't be leaders, don't mistake me, but I can't stand the idea that one woman think she owns the world at the tip of her fingertips. News flash- other people exist too.

Title	Men are told to "touch grass" and "talk to women" but if they fumble they get to be creep shamed on social media
Author	Napo_De_Leone
Upvotes	300
Comments	409
Date	October 19, 2023 12:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17bhniq/men_are_told_to_touch_grass_and_talk_to_women_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-are-told-to-touch-grass-and-talk-to-women-but.1235664 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235664

Comments