Why does the perception that "most men are physically unattractive or below average" exist among women?

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-12-17T13:15:40+00:00

Most men are okay looking. Women’s attraction to men isn’t symmetrical to men’s attraction to women.

ttthrewawayyy · 2024-12-18T01:57:14+00:00

I find plenty of men attractive. I am sexually attracted to very few of these men.

volleyballbeach · 2024-12-17T16:37:11+00:00

I have never heard a woman, or anyone, express that most men (or most people or most women) are below average. That statement is illogical by the definition of average, so if some women have this perception, I suppose they are a rather dumb and/or sexist minority who think that.

As for the perception that most men are physically unattractive, I’d say this is a pretty accurate perception for anybody in America (or similarly fat countries) who does not find obesity physically attractive. The average American is obese. So if a person finds obesity physically unattractive, they find most Americans physically unattractive.

GridReXX · 2024-12-17T13:26:41+00:00

Because a woman saying “sure he’s decent looking” HAS NEVER been enough to arouse a woman on the spot.

On the flip side, a man saying “sure she’s decent looking” HAS ALWAYS been enough to give most men a boner it seems.

We’ve been saying for years that female arousal takes more than looks to get her mind sexually-oriented. She has to experience him. Interact with him. Interplay with his presence and wiles. And it’s like the men on this sub refuse to get this and continue to project their male solipsism onto how women’s arousal is triggered.

They refuse to accept it’s not identical to male arousal. They’re constantly confused about female arousal because they lack the empathy to not be solipsistic about this dynamic.

pentatonicartichoke · 2024-12-17T12:53:00+00:00

No. Most of the men my age, that I pass on the streets of my city, are good looking.

Werevulvi · 2024-12-17T16:47:09+00:00

I make a distinction between "conventionally attractive" and attractive to me personally. For instance a lot of celebrities are conventionally attractive, which means I can recognize that objectively, these men are good-looking, but I'm not necessarily attracted to them personally. They all end up looking kinda the same. It's the same crew cut or skin fade and the same straight white teeth again and again. And that kinda bores me a bit. The kinda men I find the most attractive have been all over the conventional attractiveness spectrum. Some have been what society would qualify as a 9, 7 or even as a 3. Men ranging from Iggy Pop to Teven Tyler to Johnny Depp. Because what makes me attracted to a man is just something else, something like... character? Edge mixed with charm. And most men don't seem to have that, but men all over the general societal attractiveness spectrum can have it.

That said, I think most men look just fine. Although I live in Sweden and there's some truth to that more people are attractive here compared to US. So maybe what would be an average guy in my country would be considered a 6 or 7 in US. Or maybe I'm just biased towards my own nationality. Whenever I go grocery shopping or to the local swimming pool or wherever, I regularly see at least a handful of men who I think look good.

But basically what I think is happening when women say that "most men are unattractive" I think they either mean that 1) they have a hard time finding men they are personally attracted to, beyond just thinking they look decent, or 2) they are referring to that seemingly a majority of men dress poorly, have poor hygiene, dunno how to style their hair, etc, which make them look way worse than their actual genes suggest.

RoseyButterflies · 2024-12-17T16:46:30+00:00

Most men aren't attractive to me, like less than 10% are.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-12-17T15:34:31+00:00

I'd say most men are okay. They're not unpleasant to look at, they're just....random dudes? I'm not covering my eyes in disgust, but I'm also not calling my friends to gush about how hot all the men in line at Walmart were.

One can be a perfectly decent looking person and not be attrative to me, personally. I can acknowledge that someone looks good, but also not be attracted to them.

Also, I imagine that, depending on where I was in the USA (cause that's what we're usually talking about here), a good chunk of dudes would be unappealing, I'm not into fat people.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-12-17T14:24:57+00:00

I'd wonder if it has to do with how we reversed mate selection. It's supposed to be that females are unassuming, and males present themselves, but in humanity, the dudes got lazy and reversed that. So it would make sense that women naturally still look for a presentation that doesn't exist anymore.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-12-17T12:57:04+00:00

Most men aren't ugly per se. They simply present themselves lazily. Cargo pants, basic haircuts with no style, don't utilize skincare or teeth whitening. A lot of men don't style their hair, and most men don't wear makeup. They're happy to be comfortable and not clean themselves up to look more presentable. If you go on dating apps, most men have a bunch of photos from family events and weddings because they're in a suit and did their hair that day. Then you show up on the date, and they haven't trimmed their beard in over week, and they're in oversized poor fitting jeans and a hoodie. They choose to look lazy. That's why guys who put in even 50% the effort that women do to look nice have swarms of women that hit on them. It's not gay to care about your appearance.

Fab_Glam_Obsidiam · 2024-12-17T13:05:49+00:00

I don't see that view very often. Usually it's like "oh Mike? He's fine" for the vast majority of men. Sure there's a small number with wide appeal amongst women too, but I think that's based on more than just looks. Often it's fame or ability as well (see Luigi Mangione as an example).

Irys-likethe-Eye · 2024-12-17T19:21:47+00:00

I've only ever seen this sentiment from guys. Usually in tandem with "excuses" as to why they have not generated what they consider success in romantic or casual relationships and garnished heavily with derogatory commentary directed towards women.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-12-17T15:16:58+00:00

It’s not that most men are UNattractive. It’s that most men are not actively attractive.

It seems like men have a bar, and if you’re not ugly you’re attractive. Women have the opposite bar, which is if you’re not hot, you’re not actively attractive. That doesn’t mean you’re ugly, or can’t/shouldn’t date, it just means you’re not hot.

It’s sorta like how women will do ONS only with really hot guys but will date less hot guys, and men will do ONS with less attractive women but only want to date really hot women.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2024-12-17T17:38:07+00:00

Because it’s true. Most men are unattractive and then don’t have other qualities to compensate.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-12-17T12:47:29+00:00

That perception exists among men more than it does women. I don’t see women quoting the okCupid nonsense.

MyLastBestChance · 2024-12-17T12:49:35+00:00

That perception comes from sexually unsuccessful men’s obsession with a 13 year old OKCupid survey (that they misinterpret every single time).

That’s it🤷‍♀️

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-12-17T14:09:36+00:00

A few things.

We have preferences and types? And typically look for guys who are in that preference and type box. I like guys with no facial hair who shave regularly. Some women like guys with stubble a slight beard. Some like moustaches. Some women like more masculine looking dudes. Other women may like fluffy haired nerds. Some like the metalhead guys with the beards and long hair. Some may want a clean cut guy suit guy. Like it varies around people. So typically women are looking in that particular niche of what they find attractive and don't venture too far outside of it. And naturally guys may find this frustrating if you're trying to appeal to a girl and you're just not it. It's like but why?
A lot of men do not fuss over their appearance. Some guys will call it "gay" to look at being sharply dressed and putting an effort into their appearance outside of just a shower and quick shave. Like wearing wrinkly clothes. Wearing gym shorts cargo pants. Like there's no sense of style or fixing yourself up. Like a skincare or haircare routine fixing your smile dressing up nicely. Figuring out hair styles that compliment your face. Finding clothes that show your style but also look good on you. Having a good scent. Like all of this self care goes a really long way. And usually why women are drooling over some guys.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2024-12-17T13:52:23+00:00

Real talk the only people saying things like "most men are unattractive or below average" are other men. Women have a whole host of complaints about men, but their looks are usually at the bottom of the list. Personality and compatibility usually rank much higher on what affects how attracted we are to any given man

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JadeGrapes · 2024-12-19T05:23:15+00:00

IMHO, women in America are socialized to be highly aware of their appearance.

Bone structure, weight, personal style, and grooming choices are low key brought into every conversation starting by age 10... but it's background noise & subtle as fuck.

You wake up & get to the breakfast table & people will tell you that you have messy hair / bed head. You see a friend for lunch, and she apologizes that she didn't put on makeup because she just came from the gym. You aren't feeling like an outing on the weekend, and your Mom asks if you are drinking enough water because that could be why you are feeling... so... blah. You are talking to a coworker, and they keep glancing at your chin, they are noticing a pimple. You go buy a shirt, and the clerk tries to cheer you on, "no, it's not you... this brand just runs small". You get a hair cut, the stylist pauses... "you know maybe that shade of hair is something that isn't exactly right for your skin tone..."

Women may legitimately have HUNDREDS of grooming and cosmetic items they use in a week... 10 step daily skin care. Skin zapping devices. Separate lotion for under eye, face, neck/bust, hands, feet, body, bum-bum cream. Some tan you, some have caffeine, cancel redness, heal each type of acne, smell good, add glitter, block the sun. No exaggeration, haircare can realistically be 10-20 hours a week. Don't forget the literally sculptures of carefully shaped polymers that are manicures.

HUNDREDS of products... and rituals that literally qualify as part time work. Because... your teeth looked a little yellow in that picture. Or you've got to fit a dress for a friend's wedding. Or this is the year you want to nail a natural curly girl hair routine.

It literally never ends.

Sooooo, we really notice our guy friend from college has never lost the neck beard. Or Dad's got to do something about those eye brows. Or why does everyone in the marketing department have wacky glasses now? Or at what point does a gym bro realize human necks aren't supposed to be huge - even if it's muscle? Or no cuz, you should not just buy a 20 pack of hanes T-Shirts and call it good enough.

Or why do I need to explain to a coworker why it's wrong to clip their nails and leave it on a shared desk. Sweet baby jesus, what happened to your feet over the winter - Get to the doctor?! No... you are not talented enough to cut your own hair - you are going to have to shave it and start over. No, it the buttons gap like that put it back, it's too small. Why is their wing sauce on your pajamas?

TLDR: lack of effort in most men.

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UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-12-17T12:55:15+00:00

It doesn't, it exists amongst men.

RelativeYak7 · 2024-12-17T13:14:39+00:00

It comes from 2010 okcupid stats and makes a lot of sense if you think about the Pareto principle.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2024-12-17T16:24:33+00:00

I never heard about the perception until I found this sub and I kept seeing it posted over and over again by men. I don’t think most men are physically unattractive or below average but lots of people like to think otherwise.

CatchPhraze · 2024-12-17T14:56:04+00:00

Because men put less effort into their appearances than women and attractive men. So half the population (women) , plus a decent portion of men who put in effort leaves like the 35% of the population who doesn't put in the effort.

Vola, swarms of less then average.

_weedkiller_ · 2024-12-17T14:53:10+00:00

I think it’s just that women have nice curves and soft features, whereas men are very straight up and down with not much interesting.

I mean you see this in nature all the time. If you put a cow and a horse next to each other obviously the horse is objectively more beautiful. It’s the softness and curves I think.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2024-12-17T16:34:12+00:00

It literally doesn’t. That’s something you guys project on us

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-17T13:31:46+00:00

well, I'm only attracted to NW european men, in a diverse area that renders vast swaths of men invisible. then, when I was younger and single, I was only attracted to certain types and styles of young men, so that cut out everyone else

Title	Why does the perception that "most men are physically unattractive or below average" exist among women?
Author	ObadiahTheEmperor
Upvotes	58
Comments	423
Date	December 17, 2024 12:39 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hg9qow/why_does_the_perception_that_most_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-does-the-perception-that-most-men-are.1538772 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538772

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