Many women are against men aged 30+ dating below 25 years old women because apparently the brain doesn't stop developing till you are 25. This is a total myth that has no scientific backing at all and it shows that only red pillars aren't the only ones to promote fake science.

Richard_Konte · 2025-03-16T08:45:36+00:00

“the brain at finishes developing at 25” thing was always junk framed pop science the same way “we only use 10% of our brain” factioid was.

DelDivision · 2025-03-16T06:41:06+00:00

On. One hand I couldn't go below 23, but I do feel like the age gap thing is blown out of proportion. I mean seeing as we only stop at sex, we don't consider drinking, voting, joining the military.

Also I've read that adhd brains take even longer to develop, so does that mean we cant date people with adhd until their mid 30s?

cromulent_weasel · 2025-03-16T19:49:50+00:00

This is a total myth

And yet, insurance companies have decades of data showing that drivers under 25 cause significantly more car crashes than drivers over 25. And it's not just an experience thing. People getting their license at say age 30 do NOT have the same crash profile as an 18 year old who just got their license.

Your brains risk assessment functions mature quite late, it seems.

the development of prefrontal cortex doesn't even stop for some people even in their 30s

Sure, for some people even 25 years isn't enough time for them to be 'cooked'.

ProtectionPolitics4 · 2025-03-16T05:21:51+00:00

Why does it really matter? Most women are not into much that are that much older than them. Only a pretty small percentage are. Even still it's usually guys who look younger, and have good chemistry.

No-Ground604 · 2025-03-16T11:44:07+00:00

even if it was true it hardly means anything in a society where ppl are encouraged to take on massive debt the moment they turn 18, join the military or take on strenuous jobs that will weaken the condition of your body long term, drink do drugs and fuck frivolously with their peers, and generally just be as hedonistic as you can with your money w zero regard for long term planning.

the things that ppl are expected to have done by 25 as cultural landmarks are genuinely kind of insane; dating someone older is the least problematic behaviour (that doesn’t even happen nearly as much as is talked abt) to receive all the dialogue it does whilst everything else is normalised

CrwlingFrmThWreckage · 2025-03-16T08:24:44+00:00

The brain keeps developing throughout life. It used to be thought scientifically it stopped around 18-20. In the 1990s - the “Decade of the Brain” - it was shown that it keeps developing after that age. But a lot of old school neuroscientists and psychiatrists insisted there must still be some point at which it effectively stopped developing so you could say a person was strictly and definitely a “mature adult” after that point. (You can see how politics was involved already.) So they argued it looked like it must be around 25. And some people liked and used that idea. Men have used it to try evading blame for things when they were 22 or 23: “But my brain isn’t fully developed yet! I can’t be held accountable as an adult!” And some women use it for their purposes too.

UnpredictableDemise8 · 2025-03-16T23:40:29+00:00

Large age-gaps in relationships are just a reinforcement of hypergamy, leaving less options for younger men. Basically women having such high standards, that can't be achieved by men in their age-bracket, so they're forced to date older men.

Naebany · 2025-03-17T16:47:51+00:00

People are OK to make life changing decisions at 18 like going to military but they can't date someone until they are 25? That's so stupid its ridiculous.

Superannuated_punk · 2025-03-16T06:01:46+00:00

Pretty sure women are against older men wanting to date younger women because they've experienced old dudes sleazing on them.

Material-Disaster-58 · 2025-03-16T11:01:17+00:00

Excellent post. I was always against this argument because I just couldn't see how it is valued in real life

SnowyCherryBlossoms · 2025-03-16T21:28:08+00:00

Why is it countries that are the most egalitarian have the lowest age differences while those that repress women’s rights have the highest.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/01/03/globally-women-are-younger-than-their-male-partners-more-likely-to-age-alone/

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-03-16T17:36:11+00:00

I've said before this is a jealousy thing, some women genuinely can not stand to see a man succeed in any capacity. It's a lot easier for a guy to date a younger woman because

We like older men, obviously the range varies but the vast majority do prefer older guys
It takes less materialistic success to impress younger women

It's really not a big deal, my boyfriend is 30 in a couple years and I'm only entering my 20's, this is perfectly normal where I live and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Men don't get to be picky, if men do in fact prefer younger women then why wouldn't they go for them when it's simply easier? if women want men to start going for women at the same age or older then women have to adjust their standards and there's no way in hell that's happening LMAO

harmonica2 · 2025-03-16T15:37:41+00:00

I don't think most people believe in the 25 concept otherwise they would be protesting to the government to change the age of consent to 25.

SaltyTXGuyDFW · 2025-03-16T16:13:51+00:00

Me (38M). Woman (25F).

So, I’m ok because shes 25, right? Lol.

Now for the variations…

Is it a problem that we started when she was 24? As in, is she reverse-grandfathered out?

Is it better or worse that we are FWB? What factor(s) does that depend on?

I hadn’t heard it before, but the “men accumulate experience, women accumulate trauma” isn’t a bad explanation for why we click. She’s a bit awe-struck by my unflappability and skills (I’ve got mad DILF game), and I enjoy her enthusiasm, desire to learn and try new things, and lack of baggage.

ACE_Overlord · 2025-03-17T10:02:15+00:00

At age 19, a 27 y/o woman preyed on me and banged me like a tamborine. That terrible, terrible woman. Taking advantage of my undeveloped mind.

_weedkiller_ · 2025-03-16T08:55:37+00:00

Experience.
Doesn’t matter how well your brain is developed, we learn from experience. It takes time to gain experience. Age = time.

I can say that I would have taken a very similar view as you when I was 23. But in the 15 years since I’ve gained so much more experience which has dramatically shifted my ability to judge situations and put them in perspective. I have a much better understanding of patterns of behaviour (having observed them over time), motivations, norms in relationships vs not norms, managing my emotions etc.

PullHisHairIDontCare · 2025-03-16T05:32:41+00:00

Date whoever you like. We don't care! We gotta work and feed ourselves. Rather be alone then w some old guy with $.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-03-16T12:29:41+00:00

Women stop maturing once they realize they can leverage sex to get what they want. Once you see this is a guy, there’s no going back.

TheAvocadoSlayer · 2025-03-16T15:37:56+00:00

Why do you guys want approval so bad to date a younger woman?

If you want to date them, go ahead. Stop screeching about women disapproving your age gap relationships.

Lysa_Bell · 2025-03-16T06:27:17+00:00

My reasoning for being against older people dating people under 25 is because until your mid 20s you change a LOT. Most people are changing so much personality wise during that time that I wouldn't suggest dating someone older that has a set mind and personality already. Completely different stage of life. My worry is that people older than mid 20s will take advantage of that stage of change and try to form the younger one into something they desire and the younger one will feel like that is how it's supposed to be because they are in love. The younger person tends to get trapped inside that relationship and only much later wonders if that's who they actually want to be with or who they want to be. This kind of situation tends to end in a divorce and regret of having to go through the self-discovery phase much later in life. Going through this at a much later stage in your life will make you feel like you missed out, like you are behind other people your age, it can throw you into a personality crisis that might take years away from your quality of life only because someone established in their mid30 (or even older) decided they wanted to take on someone that was in a self development phase because it was easier for them to mold someone into who they wanted instead of having to find someone their age and stage of life to compliment and compromise as a partner.

The divorce rates for big age gap relationships are extremely high and so are the divorce rates for people getting married below mid20. Exactly because people are developing their character and changing and becoming comfortable with who they want to be.

I know that the brain never fully stops developing. I know about the cutoff age for the brain developing age study was 25 and that's where the myth comes from. That's not the reason I'm weary of these age gap relationships. It's because I know how much people develope in their early 20s. You even have that issue with people in relationships with smaller age gaps in their 20s. The personality development between a 20 year old and a 26 year old is already insane.

That's at least my reason.

MongoBobalossus · 2025-03-16T05:40:57+00:00

The only people who care are old guys who want to bang teens.

AngeAware · 2025-03-16T06:17:37+00:00

I think it's one thing to obsess over that misrepresented research study by itself, and another to organically come to the conclusion that 25 is roughly the age by which most have fully settled into adulthood through observation and personal experience. That is basically where I'm at personally, though I can definitely see the case for it being roughly moreso 23 to 25 instead of strictly 25, depending on individual factors. I don't think the "mature at 25" claim would be nearly as pervasive if it weren't being bolstered to some extent by what people witness in the real world.

Do I think that any older person who chooses to date in that age range is some kind of monster? No. The worst I'm gonna assume is that the older partner's maturity level has frozen somewhere in that range and the younger one could very well outgrow them. I've seen multiple advice requests on this site now where an older (usually male) partner is asking why their early 20s partner is being different, withdrawing, asking for space, etc. It's like, did you really have to come to the internet to ask this question? Like it's not occurring to you at at all that they might be growing and changing and you're not a part of the finished product their life is shaping up to be?

feistykalorina · 2025-03-16T09:55:34+00:00

Well it is true that the brain doesn’t finish developing until mid twenties

https://hms.harvard.edu/news/under-hood-adolescent-brain

now if that article from some website called slate is worth more to you in credibility than Harvard and well known university then maybe you are more prone to fake news

antariusz · 2025-03-16T16:48:01+00:00

Now, don't lie and tell me that women don't say that. I have seen this reasoning a hundred times (and highly upvoted too) in ppd alone.

You answered your question with your pre-emptive defense.

Women lie and create whatever narrative they need to suit their CURRENT needs. A 23 year old woman is empowered to do whatever she wants according to a 23 year old woman ... and a 23 year woman, ACCORDING TO a 35 year old woman, is a child who is incapable of coherent thought.

The caveat to that is that actually she isn't completely wrong, and that 35 year old woman complaining about the younger woman is actually she herself a child incapable of coherent thought.

Legate_Retardicus84 · 2025-03-16T17:39:41+00:00

The 25 year old brain thing is a myth and the funny part is that the people who go on about that bullshit would know it if they actually bothered to read the paper instead of parroting the headlines about it.

Short version. In that study they found that despite the difference in prefrontal cortex development there was no correlation between that and cognitive skills. Second only some studies have been able to replicate those results with many finding the correlation between age and prefrontal cortex development.

In conclusion, only some people don't have a fully developed prefrontal cortex before the age of 25 and even those that don't the difference isn't enough to have a discernable effect on their cognitive skills.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2025-03-16T19:07:57+00:00

Woman's most preferred age difference in relationships is about four years with the man being four years older than the woman. A 25 year old woman is more likely to seek out a 29 or 30 year old man than someone her own age. I don't know how you can seek out an age gap relationship while simultaneously condemning it. And when it's cher, Sandra bullock, swift, Jada smith etc who date much younger men, it's somehow empowered. Girl math I guess

TheNattyJew · 2025-03-16T22:18:04+00:00

What the critics always forget is that it takes two to tango. The women are often the ones who are the most enthusiastic about dating an older man

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-03-17T02:21:28+00:00

I’m 35 and I wouldn’t likely date anybody 25 or younger because we just wouldn’t have enough in common. Like yeah, I want somebody who is attractive, but I also need to have a real connection. I don’t think I could be with somebody that just can’t relate to the things I’m experiencing in life.

LordShadows · 2025-03-17T07:22:14+00:00

Any arguments that touch to age gap and sexuality are completely void of any kind of rational thinking and scientific backing.

People argue against it because it "feel" creepy to them. Not because they have rational arguments against it.

And the deeper you dig, the more you learn how complex the problem is and why we can't just generalise rules around it.

Different people grow at different speeds. Capacity to consent depends on knowledge and experience and isn't an on/off switch but a spectrum which is theme sensitive (you can have a great capacity to consent to things you know a lot about and a shitty one for things you don't know anything about). Any kind of hierarchical differences has a power that influences people's decisions, yet many specifically seek those hierarchical differences in their search of mates.

And we have no precise way to calculate any of these factors to assign a percentage healthy vs. unhealthy dynamics. Every dynamic has their own unhealthy and healthy parts. It's about the solutions we find for them more than finding the perfect relationship.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-03-17T09:49:35+00:00

Who cares if someone thinks your dating preferences are creepy? Really, what kind of fake topic is this? You think a 30+ guy, who is so insecure about what some women on the internet think about his character or dating preferences, will be attractive to a woman in her prime who can basically have anyone?

emorizoti · 2025-03-17T14:10:09+00:00

Yes it is true that many women are against men dating much younger partners, but guess what men date women who are okay with the age gap and see it as attractive. It is a matter of preference, not a dogma.

playprince1 · 2025-03-16T06:04:48+00:00

From my observation, the women (30+) who are condemning men (30+) for dating younger women (18-25) are the same ones who when they were fresh out of highschool, and through their college aged years were actively flirting and dating older men close to 30 or even over 30.

And when you bring that up to them their argument is that they didn't know better back then and they were taken advantage of, etc...

But it does seem hypocritical.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-03-16T11:23:42+00:00

is it a social media thing to care a lot about random peoples relationships

NothingWho · 2025-03-16T12:58:15+00:00

It's a matter of self-interest of those vocal about it:

Young men --> don't want to compete with older men.
Older women --> don't want to compete with younger women.
Feminists --> any power dynamic over women such as an age gap is considered evil... It can be, but that's not always true. (There's probably more, but that's just off the top of my head.)

It was only until the 20th century (roughly 150 years to this date) that western society focused on age as a hardline qualifying characteristic to enter a relationship, whether that's if either individual is 18 or if there's an age gap.

If we consider the context (being that the human species is over 300,000 years old), there are characteristics that are simply part of our nature that we deny exists for the sake of social acceptance.

SnowyCherryBlossoms · 2025-03-16T16:57:03+00:00

Here is the deal.

A lot of us had old men preying on us at 16 and 18. I had a man in his fifties try to get me drunk at 17.

My brother was preyed on at 16 by a much older woman, his teacher.

This is why we warn women (and young men) about it.

Despite what men want to think, I’m not “jealous” - I’m happily married and have no interest in the dating market for myself.

Instead I want to give younger men and women the benefit on my hard won experience.

PracticalControl2179 · 2025-03-16T06:04:53+00:00

No usually men over 30 berate women who are over 25 by calling them unattractive and worthless. Degrading the women you don’t have a preference for is not exactly going to win anyone to your side. Furthermore, after women have been constantly belittled and scolded for hypergamy, it’s extremely hypocritical to be hypergamous and want someone young and hot despite not being young and hot yourself.

thapussypatrol · 2025-03-16T05:26:23+00:00

Guess they ought not vote until the age of 25

But typically enough it tends to be those women heavily advocating that young and often naive women turn out

astralwatchman · 2025-03-16T06:19:08+00:00

It's merely a point of jealousy for women, akin to them picking tall men

Kreeps_United · 2025-03-16T08:37:58+00:00

I don't get fighting for large age gaps, regardless of gender. It reeks of, "I know everyone on my level will see through my shit".

NotMattDamien · 2025-03-16T05:53:02+00:00

Most single older women say this because it’s a shaming tactic to keep the desirable men still available at that age range for themselves. Women don’t like competition

TheStrangeWays · 2025-03-16T09:05:03+00:00

Lol, not under 25? What country do you live in? This sounds like a few but loud older women trying to restrict their competiton-pool on a subconscious level, but rather than being honest about it we have to listen to manipulative intellectual bullshit. I’m sure most don’t care at all as long as she’s 18+.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2025-03-16T10:35:42+00:00

If human can vote - human can be dated.

learn2earn89 · 2025-03-16T12:21:47+00:00

Honestly, it does bother me, but I don’t say anything. I have no control over my age just a much as short guys have no control over their height, or ugly people over our looks. Date whoever you want. The only thing I will definitely advise is that a woman dating a man 10+ years older at least for long term will become a caretaker eventually. However, it’s not something I would ever even mention to people outside the internet. No one cares about your opinion when you’re a 35+ year old woman.

2025-03-16T20:37:28+00:00

Those are brainwashing tactics that women made up to prevent men from dating women below 25. The ones who are against it know their time is almost up and competing against a younger women is going to affect them. As I always, say as long as she’s an adult (21+) then I don’t see the issue.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-03-16T05:36:09+00:00

I have been told the brain development thing by several high up medical professionals 🤷‍♀️

For me personally it’s more when there is an imbalance of power in an age gap relationship and the damage that can do, and a lot of women have witnessed this.

No-Appointment-8270 · 2025-03-16T06:12:07+00:00

Women are just coping because their looks fade away, not for all but these who rant about it definitely

iO__________ · 2025-03-16T12:26:26+00:00

Most females need to mind their own business.. And stop worrying what other women are doing and get to the business of living their own lives.

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G4M35 · 2025-03-16T12:21:19+00:00

Bitter angry people say the stupidest things. Ignore them.

Age of consent legislation is the only litmus test.

Standard-Foot-5007 · 2025-03-17T15:31:30+00:00

Well for me, it’s more about the fact that the 23-year-old does not have the same life experience.

DragonflyLopsided619 · 2025-03-18T12:59:26+00:00

The argument really just reveals the common agism and insecurities of the critics.

Most of my friends have been women my own age or older thru life but into our 30s several have made it a point to repeat their utter disgust and condemnation of men my age dating under 25. Unfortunately that perspective has made me realize I need new friends and have just been backing away from them. What really is the suggested alternative? –that people date more 'age-appropriately' even if it's partial and full of disinterest?

spletharg2 · 2025-03-18T23:45:37+00:00

Obviously no one under 25 should drive or drink or vote or operate guns or have sex or get married. Obviously.

koxar · 2025-03-19T02:29:48+00:00

That's intrasex competition. Women are enemies to each other.

Rookiri · 2025-03-20T04:04:33+00:00

I'm pretty left, I'm pretty against older people of either sex dating someone way younger. I hate seeing the 25 years old brain development claim because it was a faulty study. It devalues the real problem of the situation when it comes to age gap relationships. I believe this to be true for all age gap relationships, whether the older party is a man, a woman, or somewhere in between. Now I am biased, I am the daughter of a 14-year age gap where my father was 34 when he married my mom at 20. But this is my take having seen a pretty bad outcome of it.

Even on the baseline starting out, the younger party will be predisposed to believing that the older party knows more and knows better than them due to their additional lived experience. This is just what we learn growing up that our elders know more than us, even when it comes to smaller chunks. The bigger the age gap, the more that is true. This makes it way easier for the older party to manipulate the younger party into believing false narratives that benefit them. Where they might have questioned someone their own age, because they view their older partner as being more experienced, they trust their word on it.

Secondly, the older party is most likely going to be in a better place financially. This is mostly for relationships of 20 somethings with people in their 30s+. Most people aren't getting sustainable jobs in their 20s, whereas people past 30 have had a lot more time to figure out the career and work their way into a well paying job. This can be a fast track to financial dependency, opening the door for financial abuse.

This is just the upfront stuff. Now, here is the stuff not usually talked about. End of life. The older partner will most likely be in a much more declined state of life while their younger partner is still in their "golden years." The younger partner better be prepared to take on possible care giving of said older partner. In my opinion, this is a possibly very heavy burden to shoulder onto your partner knowing full well you are most likely dodging ever having that responsibility. I could not imagine being in my 50s taking care of my 70 year old partner instead of enjoying the last years of my career.

In my experience, my dad was kinda banking on having this young wife to take care of him as he got older. Unfortunately for mom and I, she got severely disabled first. And while ours is a unique case, disability can happen to anyone at anytime, health is never a guarantee. So, instead of a 35 year old man taking care of his quadriplegic wife of the same age, it was a 49 year old man taking care of a quadriplegic wife. Then 55. Then 60.

Except a lot of times, the people who seek out partners that are in their 20s when they are much older tend to be very emotionally immature. This can be seen anecdotally from the majority of age gap relationships I've seen out there. There's a reason they aren't dating people who are in the same stage of life as them. I'm 26 and I could not relate to someone who is 20 enough to consistently hang out with them let alone date them. The 20s are a roller coaster of mental, personal, and social growth. You really don't need someone who has already been there and is over that.

There are obviously exceptions, but I think anyone considering a relationship like that should at least be thinking about all of the possible angles. In my opinion, the older you get, the less age gaps matter. But for people in their 20s it really does matter. Even if you know a lot, you don't know you and what your life is going to look like yet. And you definitely are not as mature as your 35 year old partner says you are.

EveningStar95 · 2025-03-20T17:06:52+00:00

The real reason these feminists hate the older guy dating the younger girl, is that the younger dating him, validates him.
And they can't stand for that because they always want to paint the single 30-yr-old as a permanent undesirable.

mandoa_sky · 2025-03-16T05:36:41+00:00

i have a friend that is a neurobiologist. the studies show that the brain isn't fully developed for males and females until 25 years old.

scientific backing DOES exist.

NeoKlang · 2025-03-16T08:04:46+00:00

Many women are not educated to know women start puberty at a younger age before her teens.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-03-16T12:11:30+00:00

Why would a person 23 years old want to promote older men being able to snatch up the girls his age that would otherwise be looking to date the men around her own age like him?

little_did_he_kn0w · 2025-03-17T04:19:34+00:00

I think that the age 25 is an average of when the frontal lobe stops developing and not a hard number. There are no absolutes in medicine and biology, only averages.

Either way, the argument is built around maturity and the fact that a lot of times, people who have not reached that "developed frontal lobe" level of maturity that is usually present in the later twenties do not know their self worth. They (males and females) are willing to be taken advantage of, even when they do not want to, because they think they are doing right by their partner.

And from the outside looking in, having an older dude who seeks out women who may lack maturity and do not have a hardened sense of self or self-worth looks suspicious as hell. It almost appears as though the 30+ man is lacking some parts of his own maturity, or never developed certain parts of himself, and now he struggles to relate to intimate partners who are his peers.

There are different forms of intelligence gents. Emotional intelligence (EI) is one that men in our society are often encouraged to not develop as much in the same way a lot of boys are discouraged from washing their butthole because touching it "makes them gay." Dudes never work that EI muscle, and then they start trying to deal with mature women who realize said dudes can't self regulate well and reject them. But you know who can't really tell if you're emotionally immature? Girls with undeveloped frontal lobes.

Also, if you struggled to understand the butthole reference, congrats, you probably did not grow up in a very religious working class community.

spanglesandbambi · 2025-03-16T05:34:22+00:00

It's not about the age it's about the added risk of a large age gap where our person has more resources.

The issue isn't Leo dates under 25s but that those women are half his age and do not have access to the resources he does. This adds an element of increased risk vs a relationship where both people are at equal resource levels.

NoBlacksmith8137 · 2025-03-16T10:44:05+00:00

Doctor here, the idea that brain maturation continues into the mid-to-late 20s is backed by scientific research. Brain development is a gradual process that unfolds over many years and studies have shown that certain areas of the brain, particularly the prefrontal cortex continue to mature well into a person’s 20s. It’s not going to be exactly ‘25y old’ for every individual but more or less, yes. It’s like puberty, this also isn’t exactly the same age for every individual, nevertheless it’s not wrong to pick the median age when talking about puberty.

I do think this means that people who are older should be careful dating someone within that age range. Because it’s impossible to tell for each individual what exactly is the age that brain maturation is completed, I don’t have a problem with picking around 25y old as an age where you should be careful with. Not saying that someone who is 28y old can’t date someone who is 24y old.

When I was 21y old I did date a guy who was 30y old and now that I am older I only realise the influence he had on me. I was incredibly naive, but I thought at the time that I was oh so mature (I really really wasn’t). He had also lied about his age because initially he made me believe he was 26y old. He did stuff in the bedroom that he didn’t ask my consent about prior and because I was young and he was older, I thought maybe it was just normal (example: he just randomly started choking me during sex which was very disturbing to me not having had a conversation about this prior). I stayed with him because I trusted him to be more mature and wiser (lol) and I didn’t trust myself. If I could travel back in time to warn my younger self I would. I think I am lucky with how things ended, I moved back to my original country and that was the end of it. If you would have told me at that age that I wasn’t mature yet I would have laughed it away. But now that I actually am older (27y old now) I can see how immature, young and naive I was. I was simply easy prey to him.

I don’t think we should be too rigid about the ages. And I don’t mind age gaps when people are much older. A 35y old and a 55y old is fine for me. But I think it’s just better that people in their early 20s and teens date within their own age circles. The exception might be when someone is maybe 5y older like maybe a 23y old and a 28y old could still work, but more than that I am not sure. That being said I do know happily married couples with big age gaps that met while the girl was 18y old. It sometimes does work, hence why I said we should not be too rigid. But carefulness and awareness, yes I plead for that.

FairwayBliss · 2025-03-16T09:31:27+00:00

I was with older guys in my teens and early twenties and it fucked me up (all between 9-15 years older than I was, long and short relationships). I married an age appropriate guy when my prefrontal cortex was developed enough to start making wise decisions in my life overall. I literally woke up when I was around 26 and finally saw my own stupidity for being with guys who were rejected by their own peers and older women.

All the older women in my life were right, and they were happily married with men close to their own age. They had no one to ‘compete’ with, and the men they married were affluent, well groomed and well behaved (compared to the guys I was dating). I’m so happy they told me, and that I acted before it was too late.

A man who is comfortable with dating much younger woman in her teens/early twenties is not a good guy, but a bad guy. Good, experienced and smart men KNOW that you need to reach a level of independence and stability that is simply never reached in your teens or early twenties. This also counts for women who go after younger men, btw.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-03-16T15:52:41+00:00

Nope. It’s because we remember

berichorbeburied · 2025-03-16T05:28:28+00:00

Women aren’t against 30 + men at all
From personal eye witness testimony
I saw this 30+ man have an 18 year old, 16 year old, 22 year old, 26 year old, 38 year old, etc etc
Women are attracted to men they find attractive
Age only matters to them when they think relationships
Age only matters the older women are
Because older women inherently realize that they most likely won’t be in a SUCCESSFUL long term relationship with a younger man
Now is the question do 25 and younger like someone just because they are older
Yes still
But 30+?
No not really
But they barely like men in general
So it’s not like it means much tbh
But all in all a woman would rather date an average or unattractive man about their age or slightly older
but that’s more like asexual settling than anything else

badgersonice · 2025-03-16T08:49:37+00:00

Blah blah sociology studies who cares. I know when I was 20 the 30+ men hunting for college coeds were the creepy old guys we didn’t want who were pretending they were still young. Not because some paper told us, but because we could see him with our own eyes.

It doesn’t matter if you can find some sociology study that tells you that it’s “ok” for older men to date younger women if younger women think those men are a joke. The vast majority of women don’t want older men and don’t want them hitting on them. It’s natural biology.

The “brain isn’t fully developed” is an extra attempt by young women to shame men who won’t listen to them saying “leave us alone”.

Why shouldn't a 33 year old man date a 23 year old college graduate women?

Because that 23 year old woman said “no” is the really obvious core reason.

alwaysright0 · 2025-03-16T09:49:17+00:00

Most women are against men in their 30s and older dating women and girls younger than 25 because its almost always skeevy

I dont really care if the brain development thing is true or not.

flipsidetroll · 2025-03-16T10:35:45+00:00

This merry go round is getting tiring. I know you all like to push the victim game …..oh women don’t want us to date who we like! Woe!!….. but nobody cares. If you are two consenting adults, then fuck like bunnies. Nobody gives a shit. But I can guarantee you that most often, the PARENTS won’t like it. And if you think it’s ok to date someone and the parents aren’t keen, then you are being disrespectful. I know if my dad didn’t like me dating an older man, I would listen to him, not some guy who wanted to get in my pants. Also I was never attracted to men who were that much older. You guys are in dreamland. You think it’s the norm. But WANTING to date young hot women and ACTUALLY dating them, very different. It’s just one more thing for you to be victims about. There is no science about.

However….if you think 20 year olds are fine to date, then I’m going to assume you are also friends with some 20 year old men. Hanging out, doing stuff together? Right? Cos it would be weird if you dated women that age, but are never friends with men that age.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-03-16T15:11:07+00:00

Idc what other people do and they’re free to act how they want. Older men chasing younger women are gross to me. They were gross as a young teen hitting on literal children when I was 13. They were gross at 17 saying you can legally consent. They’re gross now in my early mid 20’s.

You can have whatever reason you want to do it. “Younger women have less baggage. They’re easier to mold. They’re more attractive. They’re less jaded. Young women don’t care about money and are more fun.” All of those reasons apply to young men too. The “bitter older women” aren’t poisoning younger women in mass against age gaps. Men do that themselves. Please stop pretending like brain development is the most common issue women have with it.

icebluefrost · 2025-03-16T16:14:33+00:00

I think it depends. Are you saying because you’re at the same level in your field and share the same social circle and it was a genuine shock that you weren’t the same age? Then it’s probably not a problem (though, even then, I personally think it’s best to date your age or you’re going to spend your older years either making your partner get old before their time or being a nurse and a widow(er)).

Or are you actively searching out partners who are younger than you? That’s kinda of creepy and does raise questions about the power dynamics you’re trying g to establish.

Alone-Worry-2095 · 2025-03-17T14:57:22+00:00

Women aren’t even fully physically developed until their early to mid twenties. A 21 year old is still a girl in a lot of ways. I didn’t fully develop my hips and butt until around 23. I get more attention from men now at 28 than I did in my late teens and early 20s. So yes, men who exclusively like women under 25 are creeps who want underdeveloped women with girl-like features.

katsnushi · 2025-03-16T14:19:40+00:00

It’s a misnomer to call it (brain development, specifically the prefrontal cortex) a ‘myth.’ I’d like to read the material you have to call it as such.

Yes, the prefrontal cortex does not have a set ‘time’ to stop developing. It’s estimated to be mid-20s, but there are other agitating factors—genetics, traumatic events in developmental years, environment through childhood and even gestation—that can influence your PF-C to mature as early 20’s, into late 30’s or not at all. But it’s no myth that the average age (from what we have in fMRI data and otherwise at this point, because the high price of research and current lack of funding in the modern day could affect what we know to be ‘average’ statistically as with most science), and it DOES play a factor in what an ‘age appropriate’ relationship is.

The limbic system, which is in large part responsible for our ‘emotional maturity,’ doesn’t finish growing until 30’s on average, either. And beyond that we have crystallized intelligence that accrues over years of life—so even someone whose PF-C developed early, let’s say a 23 y/o man, won’t have the same true maturity as a 33 y/o woman. Such intelligence is something that only time can bring, and all experiences big and small influence how mentally mature the individual is.

The 33 y/o has been (hypothetically; these are all random examples that the average US adult has or will do in their lives) voting for at least 15 years and been part of several election cycles. The 33 y/o has been responsible for taxes, bills, and a roof over their head for 15 years. They’ve worked a career or multiple in that time. They may be a practicing doctor or lawyer for a few years by this age. When the car makes a funny noise they may know what it is because the same thing happened 6 years ago. Meanwhile, the 23 y/o has been seen as a legal ‘adult’ for 5 years. Maybe they’ve just finished a bachelor’s degree and are just entering their intended career path, or maybe they’ve been in trades/customer service for a few years. They’re far less likely to have experienced a fraction of what the former has within 5 years.

My rebuttal is: age matters, and while the PF-C shouldn’t be the sole lynchpin in what’s considered appropriate it’s a good rule of thumb to keep in mind when you’re getting to know potential partners. The rest is common sense; if they seem like a child even though they’re 26 and you’re 36, don’t date them.

Gilmoregirlin · 2025-03-16T13:16:11+00:00

As a woman the reason that most women are creeped out by large age gap relationships is because we have been hit on by creepy old dudes and it's gross. Older women remember what it was like when we were in our 20s and had 40 year old men hitting on us. Or to be teenagers and have men in their 30s try to pick us up. And younger women (for the most part) repeatedly say that they are not interested in creepy old men. Yet someone posts on this page several times a week trying to debate this.

ThatBitchA · 2025-03-16T17:28:56+00:00

Why shouldn't a 33 year old man date a 23 year old college graduate women?

That's a decade of difference in life experiences.

Why would you want to date someone who can't even rent a car without extra fees? Or someone who doesn't have 10 years of life experiences post college?

33 and 23 are in very different life stages.

I'm not bitter or jealous. I'm not passing along my knowledge from being 23 and 33 yo old men (and older) being interested in me.

When I was 23, there was nothing sexy about a 33 yo interested me. It was kinda pathetic.

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