How much did divorce cost you?

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2023-07-04T14:25:42+00:00

$500k.

Needed a criminal lawyer for the false rape allegations

Needed a family lawyer as she withheld the kids from me.

Needed a supervisor at $100/hr to supervise me.

Needed to get a therapist for me to show I'm mentally stable.

F*ck this system. Never will get married again. It's a system designed to milk you dry of every penny you have.

Now I'm paying Child Support for the next 16 years.

idiskfla · 2023-07-04T15:20:34+00:00

10 years of my happiness. The financial losses are almost irrelevant compared to the time and opportunity cost of 10 years

insanityisinherit · 2023-07-04T17:38:15+00:00

So many horror stories, I hope mine gives you a smile?

3 years, 53k in lawyer fees

Fortuantely, the judge saw through her and her lawyer's bullshit. She kept agreeing to a deal on something, then try to renegotiate as though she hadnt negotiated, at all, but renegotiate from the new position she had already negotiated. Mediation agreement? Yep, signed in early April. Reneged in early May. The last sentence I ever heard, directly, from the judge was: "Solve your money issues to the benefit of the children, or I'll solve them for you,"

So, we put an offer on the table. She rebutted with a 4 page, 15 point, paper outlining why she (who dosent have custody of the children, I do, and doesnt pay child support - I have no idea how) deserved all this money and laid out a monthly payment plan.

She was warned by the judge to not send him this. She demanded to have the last word. It was the final straw for this judge.

My lawyer got a call from the clerk asking for my lawyer to send over our final decree language, and leave a space at the end for lawyer's fees.

Not only did we get to write the final in our language, the judge awarded me 100% of my lawyer's fees. She had to write me a check for 53k, no payment plan.

Fuck that bitch.

There was so much more that she got away with. Like how many men would get away with telling FCS they are never going to get a job nor pay child support.

Edit: I was reminded of the hidden costs. At the time of our divorce, I owned (mortgages) 3 homes. 1 primary, 1 rental, and 1 that she and her mother were living in. She was awarded the house she was in. I lost the 25k down payment and had replaced the roof and HVAC. I had to liquidate 80k in CDs, evict my rental tenant, and rennovate that house in 60 days because the kids were now living with me and my girlfriend. Had to furnish two children's rrooms. Had to spend 25k to renovate the primary. It sold for only 15k more than I bought it 10 years earlier. Part of the exes argument was that she was owed half of all of this money. Recently sold the rental tturned primary for 340k (2021) on the house I bought out of foreclosure in 2010 for 110k. Brand new house on double the prop size was 319k. We are doing fine over here. I think she is low on money, has no skills and is 53 with no job history, so fuck you.

Alright_So · 2023-07-04T14:52:40+00:00

US $10k approximately in California. No kids or significant property, similar incomes. My lawyer charged me flat rate and should have billed me more but my ex pissed her off so much it gave her skin in the game to get one over on her.

$4k flat rate, $4k good faith settlement payment and $2kish to buy her out of a small shared investment account

I believe my ex ran up about $20k in legal fees from her jackass lawyer putting in stupid claims and letting her believe she was entitled to more than she was

1upyouralife · 2023-07-04T14:37:37+00:00

From read all this, it looks the price tag is your soul.

jimsmythee · 2023-07-04T14:46:45+00:00

AZ divorce here. 11 year marriage two kids . She wouldn’t agree to anything unless I gave up everything. So we went to trial. I made out like a bandit.

$5 k lawyers fees. I had to pay $3k of her lawyers fees.

I had to pay out 50% of my 401k. That’s it.

sums1532 · 2023-07-04T15:24:29+00:00

Reading the comments, I got lucky.

Mine was about $500.00 (All online) Thank God she signed. Took almost a year, but done.

helloworld2389023 · 2023-07-04T14:57:51+00:00

Holy crap. Reading these posts, I should’ve been a divorce attorney.

ExpiredTunic · 2023-07-04T14:21:02+00:00

My divorce was very long and drawn out through mediation because she literally refused to sign 41 Marriage settlement agreement offers. The divorce lasted longer than we were married and living together, 5 years (partially due to COVID) as well. So this will be an outlier, I calculate she spent $400,000 on attorneys, and I spent just shy of $300,000. Luckily we were each responsible for our own attorneys fees. She just had a $60,000 attorneys Lien placed on her. I am paid up and expecting a return of some of my retainer.

enigmaroboto · 2023-07-04T16:15:26+00:00

$18000

$500 per hour attorney

Keep communications between you and lawyer to a minimum. If you do contact them for any reason make sure you ask questions at that time.

At initial consultation which often is free provide all information. everything you can give them at that time.

I'm not rich by any means but I have a pretty good job. I'm on a payment plan and pay $500 per month I'm pretty much finished paying my attorney in September.

Lancellor · 2023-07-04T14:18:23+00:00

How about a no contest, no lawyer 50/50 custody.

Neither-Ad-9896 · 2023-07-04T15:33:53+00:00

144K in alimony (no kids), 20 K to pay off balance on her car, 14 K in back taxes and 2K toward her lawyer. So 180K. For 180K, I got my life back. For me? That’s a steal.

Affectionate_Fun8787 · 2023-07-04T15:46:27+00:00

So there is this lady where I live, and she is a divorce lawyer, and they call her the divorce quickie. Lol, if you and the other can agree on terms 100%, you tell her the details, and she can get it done in a week and only cost $1200 for Iowa; I don't know how other states are, though.

DivorcedDogDad69 · 2023-07-04T13:36:47+00:00

About $20k. Both had lawyers, no kids. We did mediation

pilotbrown16 · 2023-07-04T13:50:19+00:00

I think all in were closing in on 50 to 60k per year

ABBucsfan · 2023-07-04T15:26:30+00:00

Not quite over yet but about 50-60k it's looking like... We have to be close at this point... But at least in Canada things like support and section 7 gets reviewed yearly. If she continues to be such a pain in the ass any adjustments I try fot.she will make it cost me every year. Legal costs are zero concern when you have rich family. It'll be well she should be paying more of her share but how much is it gonna cost me to get that

1Koala1 · 2023-07-04T16:30:11+00:00

$410 for court filing and 10% down payment on a condo (30k).

Basically the deal was I pay for literally every one of our 2 daughters expenses. She just has to text me a pic of the receipt.

I phrased it, all you have to do is take care of yourself and your place - that seemed to sell her on not ruining us both financially and destroying any kind of relationship we might have as coparents

My ex ain't worth being married to but she can be reasoned with. Some of you married horrible people, sheesh

dnbndnb · 2023-07-04T16:50:27+00:00

Court & legal costs? Under $5k. Half of everything? Low 7 figures. Years if my life wasted on the wrong woman? 35. Never again. At least the kids were gone, and we ended up in a state where I could not be penalized.

jujumber · 2023-07-04T17:30:23+00:00

$400 Wife’s Idea to get divorced and since we had no savings she wanted to file an uncontested divorce and do it on our own. It was all done within a month and half since she decided she wanted to end it. Looks like I got off easy.

No-Exit6560 · 2023-07-04T21:39:19+00:00

We had a nuptial agreement that saved my ass. I had substantial assets going into marriage, she had her retirement accounts and was 2x divorced, with kids.

Thank you Dad for convincing me that it was necessary!

Short marriage, 4 years, one child of our own. I think total cost was 12-15k including mediation, she got nothing much to her dismay.

Of course there was the standard MO of abuse/addiction allegations, and we squashed them.

It was…really something to see, and an experience I’ll never repeat again. Hell, at this point I don’t even want to entertain the idea of cohabitation again.

mrcofffeeee · 2023-07-04T14:00:25+00:00

Lawyers: 27k for ex and 8k for me. A lot of hidden costs too like renting an apartment on month to month basis while paying the mortgage. Appraisals etc

Descarted1 · 2023-07-04T16:05:25+00:00

Lawyering costs were about $6K. Ex did not want mediation because she "didn't trust me".

Division of assets ~$25K plus ~$40K of equity in the house which I paid for. I should have just bought her out since the house basically doubled in value shortly thereafter, and there is no way I can afford a house like that again.

There are other cost incidentals obviously I'm not listing but all total, I'd guess $80k. From what I was told though, it could have been even higher as she would legally be entitled to half the gains of any investments I had during the length of the marriage.

Men need to realize that tying up a couple years of your life just dealing with the divorce and the fallout can lead to a huge loss of opportunity. During this time, your finances are basically frozen in place until the divorce is final or any legal agreement is set. This is where a lawyer, hers or even your own can milk you dry.

MNCPA · 2023-07-04T15:49:45+00:00

All in all, my divorce cost me 67% of our life savings. Out of pocket costs were well into the six figure range.

1/3 went to our lawyers, court fees, mediators, etc.

1/3 went to my ex

1/3 is what I got to keep

Some say that divorces are expensive, both financially and emotionally. I can say that is true. On the other hand, I have found peace.

No_Analyst_5235 · 2023-07-04T16:43:25+00:00

I was lucky .. son was an adult and I didn’t fight stupid shit so it only cost 7K in NY.

She works for a divorce attorney so it def could have been padded .

There needs to be restrictions or policy changes that would stop these outrageous costs . If someone is using the courts to be punitive , the courts need to recognize that and charge that party . Whether male or female

chughead55 · 2023-07-04T17:54:19+00:00

$5K for mediator.

She got 50% of all assets. Retirement included. No fault state.

We have 50/50 custody.

She got 18 months of child support of $825

She also got an extra $85,750 lump sum from my half of the assets as alimony for 20 years of marriage.

I'm happy to have no monthly payments to her besides child support until next year.

I'm rebuilding with 12 years until retirement.

MikePfromClark · 2023-07-04T19:27:52+00:00

Assets divided evenly. $72K per year in spousal support for a total of 10 years, + "additional limited duration alimony" that increases in proportion to my income (since she claimed that I took a lower paying job to decrease the alimony I would have to pay) so that I end up paying about $110K per year. 10 years total for 13-year marriage. Legal bills over $100k for me on top of this. Fuck New Jersey especially since it is a no-fault state. (She cheated numerous times and is cheating on her current boyfriend.) Thank God that the divorce was finalized at a time when all of my spousal support remains tax-deductible to me.

gronk4198 · 2023-07-04T19:41:37+00:00

Everything and nothing .... lost all my money but rose like a phoenix and now I'm more satisfied, content and successful than I've ever been in my life. Every setback is an opportunity my dude

mauimikes · 2023-07-04T16:43:40+00:00

The fact that lawyer prices vary so wildly from $500 to $500,000 for the exact same process is a very clear indicator of how corrupt and broken the divorce racket is.

That would be the same as charging someone who makes 6 figures $200,000 for a Honda accord and then charging a minimum wage worker $10,000 for the exact same car.

Complete and total scam lol

Jiggly_Love · 2023-07-04T16:45:05+00:00

$3500 for my lawyer, she had a lawyer that did pro-bono work. The stipulation was I wanted to avoid fighting it out in court over division of assets which were worth 300k. To save my sanity and mental health I ended up just giving to her because I knew those could be reacquired again in a short amount of time. Now her lawyer told her to take the offer and leave which she did after much convincing from her family and friends. Otherwise if she fought, then I would've declared 50/50 and have her finances audited, then she really be in deep shit. Luckily we didn't have kids.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-07-04T17:11:31+00:00

In total, around $75k all in… lawyers, my retirement fund and a few other things. That doesn’t include having to buy a new home ,car, furniture, all household items and the mountain of child support. Overall I think it will have cost around $1M by the time CS ends, however the house is obviously an investment.

cesar_cesar_ · 2023-07-04T18:15:51+00:00

93tabitha93 · 2023-07-04T18:32:34+00:00

Reading all this comments make me feel sick to my stomach and paralyzed Terrifying to think how am I going to survive this 🤢

IceAwkward1804 · 2023-07-04T18:52:59+00:00

So far 80k just in legal fees on my side, mediation failed twice as STBXW is asking for everything except debt or anything fair with regards to our child. I’m almost a year in and it’s going nowhere.

hkbk2011 · 2023-07-04T19:25:14+00:00

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-07-04T19:58:57+00:00

My whole life and the next 20 yrs

NothingIsEverEnough · 2023-07-04T20:42:20+00:00

$300k plus 60% of everything I earned

LMS_THEORY_ · 2023-07-04T14:25:20+00:00

10k for lawyer. Bought her out the house. Not counting that because I can sell the house and make it back and some. 1 kid so CP. Hopefully little to no alimony. Will find out next month

Various_Artists_ · 2023-07-04T14:42:13+00:00

Not completely official yet but somewhere between 150-200k for roughly half of everything.

bluewizard8877 · 2023-07-04T15:50:44+00:00

Wow. I would just bankruptcy the F*ck out of all the expenses and walk away.

Imsosadsoveryverysad · 2023-07-04T16:27:31+00:00

I’m around 18k rn. Waiting for the judge to sign the decree. We went to mediation. This woman gave me everything I asked for in mediation. Which I’m happy about. But why did we have to spend $3000 for that one day then if you were just gonna give me what I asked for anyway.

sirrush7 · 2023-07-04T16:34:01+00:00

Jesus I don't feel as bad now reading some of these...

$7k lawyer, $30k spousal support lump sum payout (came from my RRSP so it was $20k to her, $10k taxes), $5k for new furniture and effects for a new apartment, aaaannndddd if we consider the equity I lost in the house... Another $70k basically but that's not 100% accurate....

All said and done, real money spent it was at least $45k straight out if savings / cash / lines of credit etc...

2 kids and a house, she kept house I kept my pension.

SpacemanLost · 2023-07-04T22:44:36+00:00

Child Support, Alimony, Legal Bills and Debt (and the interest on it) due to her out of control spending that was assigned to me? about $750K after tax dollars over 14 years.

SpursChamps2025 · 2023-07-04T15:35:31+00:00

I got lucky and she came back because I changed my ways, that still cost me the marriage coaching, the gym membership (was more for myself but it helped, she'd lie if she'd say it didn't) and the trip to Hawaii to celebrate the renewed love and that STILL is a fraction of the things I'm reading here in the comments man!

TastyWheat67 · 2023-07-04T14:43:29+00:00

She left the family home. My lawyer cost me $6k. But I did a lot of the work about valuating all the assets. I assume that's why it was so cheap for me. In fact I didn't believe my son when he said that his mom paid $45k. But apparently, that's how much she actually paid.

lsudo · 2023-07-04T15:53:01+00:00

All of my misery and unhappiness

chevy_zr2_4x4 · 2023-07-04T16:24:13+00:00

Reading some of these stories. I'm glad my ex and I are poor. Jeez!

I spent $500 on a lawyer for me. He did the paperwork. I just wanted to make sure the i's were dotted and t's crossed.

She didn't have a lawyer. It was pretty easy for me since she just got popped with 3 felonies and i jumped before she paid her bail.

Objective-Apple-7830 · 2023-07-04T17:46:35+00:00

Mine was a £1000 online. No contest

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2023-07-04T18:06:06+00:00

The initial lawsuit on both sides came to about $6k. That was because the divorce was uncontested.

The last support modification was around $5k. I wrote most of the stuff for my lawyer, so that saved me a ton on round 2.

But that is the surface.

CS has been around $150k so far, with at least 7 years to go. There was also half the assets, which was in the area of $150k.

We won’t get into the cost to mental health and the massive trust issues it has left me with.

All told, I am in a much better place.

Come to think of it, it was 10 years ago when she decided to start the final nosedive.

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2023-07-04T22:11:44+00:00

$60k-$75k in legal fees, mediator and forensic accounting.

I don’t want to look at the exact number as it is depressing.

But getting your freedom back is priceless.

Timbers-creek · 2023-07-04T23:38:36+00:00

Half my savings & checking, the worst part. My cats, she kept them.

dadplup · 2023-07-05T00:24:22+00:00

I got lucky I guess The filing fee, a 700 deposit on the lawyer, plus another 3000 afterwards,

I never truly trusted her after her first affair and insisted on her being a job to contribute to things in our apartment, she changed jobs every 10 months ,

When we separated we had no home, no vehicles, just things in the house by the end of it thanks to get not showing up to court, she was afraid of being confronted with the evidence of her calling the cops constantly and sending cps to my place, as well as the evidence of her getting my stepson locked up on false charges, i got custody of my kid, got to keep my 401k, and everything I had control of including the things she left behind, and she got put on child support too

VileReddFalcon · 2023-07-05T12:46:44+00:00

I tell everyone not to get married. It is completely rigged against good men, and good fsthers if children are involved. People think I’m just being negative, but they have not gone through what we have on this post.

22k. Lost half my retirement. Lost the kids for 50% of their life. That’s the one that stings the most……

SuperConfused40 · 2023-07-04T15:36:04+00:00

$10-15k in lawyers and gave her 60% to go away.

Well worth it to get rid of that energy vampire / land whale.

Ren87z · 2023-07-04T17:22:43+00:00

10k in and its only been two months. She wont agree to 50/50 custody and i will not consider any less! I will sell everything i own before i lose my kids. So yeah, mine will probably be expensive and i still run the risk of not getting 50/50 custody of my kids.

upfnothing · 2023-07-04T18:16:44+00:00

$1500 initial.

Then $70k and counting when I discovered she was dating someone awful to have around my son, which came up when I fought her on relocating two hours away.

relationshiptossoutt · 2023-07-04T21:01:39+00:00

It was about $5-6k for the divorce itself if memory serves. We both had attorneys but we were both pretty fair during the whole thing honestly. A few months later I had to pay an attorney another $4500 or so for the QDRO stuff. I had no idea it’d cost that much to give away more money, but that’s what it was.

So total, around $10k plus the money the ex got. In general I feel like it was fair and I got off pretty easy compared to how it goes for a lot of guys here.

FindingMyPrivates · 2023-07-04T21:03:31+00:00

7k. I was the only one with a lawyer. I got lucky since she didn’t want to spend on a lawyer.

Got 50/50 custody, lowest court mandate CS, no alimony, and I got to keep my house. I feel great now.

Edit: if you count all the shit she took from my house and the car, were looking at 30-35k in addition.

Coffeguy649 · 2023-07-04T22:34:02+00:00

It’s been 6months, my girls are just NOW coming back, this Thursday.. I have spend roughly 35K that also includes a criminal lawyer bc of false allegations of abuse.

WingNut81 · 2023-07-04T23:07:05+00:00

9 months in and it’s already over $8k. Lawyer is $300/hour, $700 for house appraisal, $800 for mediation (3 hours)… plus at least 10 PTO days, a lot of gray hair, and a lot of heartburn.

yourmomshotvag · 2023-07-05T00:26:16+00:00

21k for court costs and 50k from sale of the house

david10277 · 2023-07-05T00:44:47+00:00

85k in legal fees ...2yrs

DuelCitizener · 2023-07-05T13:34:33+00:00

Financially speaking…

$600 for the court fees (no lawyers)

50% of my retirement plan

US$250k of savings that I had been working my guts off to buy us the place we had always talked about

Half my income in child support and spousal support

But outside of that…

Long term emotional impact to my kids that will be realized in time because she admits she is doing all this for her and no one else. I’m doing all I can to let them know I’m the rock they can rely upon. Priceless.

AllUpInMyKoolAid94 · 2023-07-05T14:00:15+00:00

15 year marriage. 22 year relationship that started in high school. I thought I’d be one of those high school sweethearts to make it 60 years until I died. Boy was I naive. 3 kids. Ex was a SAHM.

Final cost was about 120k.

5k in lawyers fees.

3 years in guaranteed alimony. I had offered her a deal. 5 years alimony-but it ends if her boytoy moves in/cohabitates; 3-years- only ends if she gets remarried. She took the 3 year / marriage deal.

I took on all household credit card debt: 6k

All debt/costs from supporting two households while we were separated and the aftermath of Covid messing with child care for our 3 kiddos. - 20k

Bought her out of the home: 23k

Took on her student loans: 25k

20k from my IRA.

50/50 custody- Thank God. This was my hill that I would die on. Thankfully, she didn’t push at all here. Though I pay a buttload in CS because my income is so much more.

She walked away with NO debt; paid off minivan and cash in hand for retirement, and cash for a new home that she purchased a year ago.

Of course boytoy moved in 6 months after deal was final.

It’s all good. I preserved over 80% of my retirement where every dollar I saved will be worth 8 when I need it.

It’s been a financial struggle, but light is at the end of the tunnel. 1.5 yrs more alimony and that freed up monthly cash will really set me free.

Best of luck to everyone out there.

J_squared12 · 2023-07-05T16:23:47+00:00

215k. Straight split of gains during marriage. Used a mediator with both of us being pro se. Took 93 days. Quick and easy but a tough pill to swallow as I worked/earned the entire marriage while she “found herself”/spent… marriage is a racket. Now I will only consider a serious relationship if it is with an independent woman who makes more money than me. I found one recently who is a self proclaimed feminist and is the opposite of everything I once was attracted to. And it’s great. She is intelligent, independent, makes good money, and doesn’t want me to pay for anything or do anything that props up the “patriarchy”…and I’m 100% onboard :)

MaxViewingAngle · 2023-07-05T17:05:58+00:00

$45k for the lawyers, the house, 1/2 my retirement, pension, and SS. Was supposed to retire this year, now working 7 more to pay of spousal support

Key_Preference_4594 · 2023-07-05T01:40:24+00:00

Not that much. Maybe $1m house. Gave her a $40k watch and a $40k ring and opened a $200k business for her a little before she left. Probably spent $50k legal fees (was an amicable settlement).

All up $1.3m or so? Less than 20% of my net worth for her best years so whatever

Neversexsit · 2023-07-04T19:59:52+00:00

Runningoutofbacon · 2023-07-04T21:03:59+00:00

Minimum 5k not counting assets that needed to be split or child support.

Mentally, I'm so much better off. Not having her around allows me to spend so much less... I might be better off financially

awesomeroy · 2023-07-04T21:45:30+00:00

The end of my 20's and beginnings of my 30's

we went 50/50 but only because she got the house and the car.

at least she doesnt keep me from my girls, and her new guy isnt that bad.

His name is fucking froy.

my name is roy

like wtf.

maybe it costed me a little bit of my sanity.

also i havent gotten a hug in like 4 years. so. theres that.

potatotornado44 · 2023-07-05T00:08:42+00:00

16K so far., but that’s really not too bad. We went through mediation and got our agreements written up, but then, when we obtained lawyers for prove up, they found all sorts of problems, of course. So we had to go back-and-forth and get the agreements rewritten. Sucks.

A_StableGenius · 2023-07-05T01:09:36+00:00

About 8K but it never ends until your kids are 18.

charlottechewie · 2023-07-05T16:54:58+00:00

$150,000

TheBigOkieDokie · 2023-07-05T18:16:06+00:00

In for $7500 so far. Thinking that will be it, but who knows. No mediation whatsoever.

Quietly_Curious_ · 2023-07-05T20:20:54+00:00

She told me she thought it was best to seek legal counsel but wouldn't tell me if that meant to lawyer up, and since they know this shit better than me I went ahead. I'm not sure of the legality, not that this is the sub for it, but a friend of hers seems to be acting as her representation, even though said friend is not a lawyer.

So far I put up the retainer but (hopefully) will be getting some of that back, plus part of her pension, so I should hopefully be in the green once all is said and done.

As much as my ex is an absolute gremlin of a person, and even with all of the bullshit that she's tried to pull on me since the separation, I'm still incredibly lucky.

Wassp868 · 2023-07-06T02:22:04+00:00

cost me like $1000 we had little cuz she could never hold down a job. we only made ends meet. She contributed nothing and I had bought everything for the apt before we got married.

I know i got off ez, i'm not making that mistake again, life partners yes... marriage, ha never.

Adventurous_Rain_279 · 2023-07-06T09:03:05+00:00

~140k

Europe, NL ( me working , she didn’t; her 25 me 30 ) 30k in legal fees 20k in pre-divorce support 20k in post divorce alimony 50k in property 20k in money withdraws by her pre divorce

Lived in marriage only 2 years. 2 years, she was able to delay court hearings and get herself extra 2 years of marriage on paper.

Complex divorce, over 200+ emails between lawyers. False allegations and etc

throwaway505939 · 2023-07-06T13:39:42+00:00

Currently looking at somewhere between $150k to $200k but it could go up significantly more if she gets a percentage of my bonus pay for years to come.

onthisthing_ · 2023-07-06T21:40:26+00:00

97.4% of my mental health

suddenlysingle1984 · 2023-07-06T22:53:36+00:00

Thank God I had legal insurance through work and a wife who was so checked out she didn’t contest anything. It was maybe $600 worth of filing fees and a notary on her end. Divorce sucks but I made out like a bandit in that sense.

To_Shrug · 2023-07-07T19:43:02+00:00

I'll add to this super sad (unless you are a divorce attorney) thread.

6 months start to finish and about 35k in lawyer fees.

50/50 custody, 50/50ish asset split.

She gets the house, I get the boot.

Life could be worse, I could be married ;)

hotrod70jan1 · 2023-07-08T14:58:31+00:00

Neither.

We got a paralegal to do all the paperwork ($750).

We got a lawyer for her to look over everything to make sure she wasn't getting shortchanged ($1500). I insisted on the lawyer so she couldn't claim years later, "had I received proper legal counseling I never would have agreed to this settlement..."

Court filing cost ($450).

Grand total: $2700.

TheG00dFather · 2023-07-05T00:04:07+00:00

$3k for the mediator. We split everything 50/50 and are on very good terms. Holy shit I got lucky 😬 she didn't even touch my 401k even though she could have and kept her student loans. I almost feel bad..

-sweetchuck · 2023-07-05T01:02:14+00:00

I'm at 14000 and counting in legal cost alone. She filed a false DVPO for custody 12 days after signing a separation agreement. Ran out of money last Thursday and the lawyer quit on Friday. Court tomorrow. I'm out of money and the will to fight. I think I'm about to consent and walk away from my son. Iv nothing left.

Believe_Evidence · 2024-06-11T19:49:58+00:00

With a pre-up in place in my favor, $120K "so far" with an expected additional 50-100K. The cost of a divorce is directly proportional to the emotional instability of the person you married. If they kick, scream, slander, defame, steal, drain bank accounts, fight divorce, are vindictive, etc., you'll expect to pay $10,000 -$20,000 per month. For each baseless claim by your spouse, DO NOT CALL YOUR ATTORNEY. DON'T LISTEN TO FRIENDS ADVICE. EVERY FRIEND WILL SAY YOU SHOULD RESPOND. THINK. EVERY RESPONSE COSTS $5K For anything an attorney deals with, even an email, the average issue costs $5,000 even though you're in the right. My ex filed every possibly legal threat, stole my dog and emptied my home and bank account. Even for something you love, like my dog, it involves police, lawyers, courts, small claims, mediation, emails back n forth... $10,000 for any issue. You may have to take a few hits to the ego even though you're in the right. Emotional people have no concept of money. They know how to spend and they know they rather see you with zero even if they end up with less than zero. You'll find a direct correlation with educational level and emotional instability. I could have solved mine on a dinner napkin. No infidelity, no kids, I just married a gold digger whom I realized I can't afford in retirement as they have no financial values.

Will it be worth it? They say it will in the future but to spend $120K in 7 months is absurd. Never again. No one wins in a divorce. Lawyers win in an emotional divorce. The emotional person holds all the cards when it comes to legal fees for both parties. The only positive thing is that I got rid of a social cancer who only loved money.

Also, if you're wondering who is the best lawyer.... before you ask for a divorce, visit an attorney a year in advance if you can. Get all your ducks in a row. I thought mine would be amicable. They turn into Linda Blair from The Exorcist.

Title	How much did divorce cost you?
Author	hpsportsfanatic
Upvotes	38
Comments	163
Date	July 4, 2023 1:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/14qemna/how_much_did_divorce_cost_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-much-did-divorce-cost-you.1224327 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224327

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