Womens body count

jojo-giraffe · 2022-07-30T12:29:32+00:00

I have only ever been with on person, but I do remember years ago having a conversation with a girl I wasn’t super good friends with where she assumed I had much more sexual experience. At the time I just laughed and told her no, but I should’ve asked what made her think that about me. Obviously she perceived me differently than I actually am, or perhaps just assumed.

Makaveli676 · 2022-07-31T00:58:38+00:00

The thing is, nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something. So I dont really understand how its going to affect her socially.

There are studies that show women with higher body counts lack the ability to pair bond, but besides that, it’s just an emotional instinct men have. As a result of evolution, the man requires sexual purity to ensure his fatherhood, since before dna test we couldn’t determine who the father was unless the woman dedicated her body exclusively to her male partner. We usually estimate a woman’s sexual experience by certain behaviors. With us men, there’s not much logic that goes behind the disgust of a promiscuous woman, just like we’re instinctively disgusted by saliva from a random person’s mouth, there’s a reason for the reaction, but we don’t consciously think about why, we just react.

A-Buff-BBC-Blackbelt · 2022-07-30T19:22:47+00:00

A lot of women tend to project their own ease of getting sex, onto men. So if they see a guy that’s relatively attractive, they assume that the dude has same options as a girl of the same caliber.

And most guys know how easy it is for a girl to get sex, and have heard the “if a girl tells you her body count, multiply by 3” saying.

MultipleMiggs01 · 2022-07-31T01:47:18+00:00

Oxytocin/Vasopressin production suggests a female human’s n count is relevant in forming a long term pair bond.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-07-30T09:43:21+00:00

I always say "Judge by their actions, not what they say." I might not be able to tell if you have a high body count initially, but eventually it will show unless you cover all your bases perfectly (which many fail to do).

SylvestorTalone · 2022-07-30T12:31:38+00:00

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

It's probably this.

I remember back in my school days, people used to steal stuff from the school cafeteria. It was extremely easy and nobody was ever caught as security was very lax. The thing is, the people running the cafeteria knew how much stuff was being stolen. This is because while an individual theft can go undetected as it happens, the overall amount of theft cannot be hidden because it will show up in the numbers once all the accounts are done. We bought X amount at Y price, we know we have roughly Z amount of spillage, what is this shortfall? As a result, an individual student may never get caught stealing, but the fact that the student body is engaged in a high degree of theft is known for a fact.

You are basically in the same situation, an individual woman's bodycount may not be known, but the general level of promiscuity among women is known, at least roughly. You can only hide it at the individual level, not at the group level. The general level of perceived promiscuity will influence how men treat indivdual women as a default, and will influence how willing they are to believe claims of low body counts.

Another analogy would be a low social capital population where people do not trust each other generally. You could be the most honest person alive but if you live in an environment where people are generally untrustworthy you will be treated, by default, as if this applies to you as well, at least until you prove otherwise with your actions. Strangers, upon meeting you, will assume you are of approximately average trustworthiness, based on their experience. If this is low you will face skepticism from the off.

veloron2008 · 2022-07-30T21:00:44+00:00

Men are increasingly entering into relationships thinking, "she can't be yours, it's only your turn." This has real ramifications, aside from the obliteration of romanticism. Most men aren't into casual sex, either by choice or not, and are saying screw it and abandoning dating altogether. It's just not worth the hassle, risk and dealing with the sense of entitlement most women have these days. Many men are finding fulfillment outside of relationships.

It sucks that women like the OP are feeling the negative effects and stereotypes of this. But (the vast majority of) men have been the collateral damage of artificial selectivity granted women by the near complete anonymity and privacy of online dating apps. Artificial in the sense that these player/pretty boy types would be utterly embarrassed to be seen in public with most of the women they hook up with... let alone pursue an actual relationship.

flash13131313 · 2022-07-30T10:55:14+00:00

Im wondering if Im not acting properly for him to guess that. Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

The latter bc while party girls are the trope for having a high body count, I have literally seen demure, introverted accountants, engineers, policy folks etc order a dude off apps as they finish their work for the week and repeat this week after week if not more often.

men will just assume I didnt exercise restraint

The safe default assumption

its not like I can prove otherwise.

No but we can tell bc the mask always slips and the trauma will start trickling out

neetykeeno · 2022-07-30T15:26:37+00:00

A guy is always going to be tempted to say whatever he thinks is most likely to secure him access to sex. They are just like that. He in effect told you he thinks you should hurry up and suck his dick because you're in the habit of it.

I suggest take a step back, reexamine all you know about that guy and consider whether he really values you or if he just wants to fuck you. Might be time to put a toe under his arse and kick him out your life

ManWazo · 2022-07-30T18:21:10+00:00

The thing is, nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something.

I dont get what you say there: if a women friend tell me her ncount, then I know it. Why does it need to be recorded?

Al_Harith_Arethas · 2022-07-30T20:15:45+00:00

This sub has a weird understanding of the average body count for women, or they are unconsciously focusing on a small subsection of women who make their presence known.

I have ran into multiple virgins between the ages of 18-26 just from generally being attracted to more introverted girls not into the night life. Besides that, pretty much every other girl was obviously not very experienced with me having to teach them how to have better sex. But when I hook up with the loud girl at the bar or the one off of tinder, yeah, she knows what she's doing.

Due-Jump-6096 · 2022-07-31T00:19:01+00:00

The only time guys really care is if they want a serious relationship with you. No man cares about sleeping with a woman with a high body count unless he’s worried about catching an STD. So basically every woman is playing to an audience of one, her future husband. Guys who have never cared suddenly become very touchy when it comes to the woman they love. So, you’re right, it won’t affect you socially…until it does.

nemma88 · 2022-07-30T13:26:45+00:00

Women shouldn't worry.

All my nice, low n girls are single. It didn't stop them being cheated on, it didn't make them more desirable, it didn't help them at all in the real world.

Just do what you want to do. If that's less partners or more the only thing that matters is you are choosing it. It matters a lot more on this board than it does out where the grass grows and you don't actually get rewarded for low n.

2022-07-30T09:48:38+00:00

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

Sort of. Being promiscuous is almost assumed in many places.

It's not about a specific number (although there's literature establishing some correlation between numbers and marital satisfaction), but more about how people view sex. If you are tindering/dating all the time/ having several partners per year, yeah, red flag for establishing a long lasting relationship.

hari_hbp · 2022-07-30T13:21:16+00:00

This person gets it. It's better to assume it's a huge number (and learn that it's the exact number or lower) than assume it's low and find out it's much higher. Ofcourse, once a person realises that the number is so stupid, they throw out the idea altogether.

Ylduts · 2022-07-30T09:32:28+00:00

You don’t need to ask directly, judging by actions and interacting with her close friends is all you need to do to get a good idea about her morals. It’s not hard.

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2022-07-30T13:50:49+00:00

Men with a future don’t want women with a past.

John_Oakman · 2022-07-30T10:16:16+00:00

You can try all you want, purge the records, powerwash the social media, makeover your wardrobe, lock all evidence of that period of your life in some off site storage place, etc. But sooner or later, chances are there will a slip up, and that time of your life will peak out as your mask slip.

Of course, I'm talking about... honestly just about anything (usually I use military service as an example to bait people, but that's getting old). People in general are really bad at hiding major changes in their lives, and the ones who are good at it tend to also do it as part of their job. In that context the whole discussion on n-count is a red herring, or one of the internet's tendency to make everything into a data game.

whiteKnightCARD · 2022-07-30T18:11:15+00:00

I expect 29 year old men and women to have at least 15-20 bodies

Whynotbebetter · 2022-07-30T19:14:52+00:00

1, you asked him to guess and got offended when he did?

2, him guessing high doesn't mean anything. Probably that he finds you attractive, flirty, or just a totally wild guess. What's so bad about any of that?

retal1ator · 2022-07-30T19:25:16+00:00

Other women are dragging you down. No doubt about it. It is also the realisation that if girls, let’s say from 18, start having sex and sleep with 1 guy a year on average, then you should assume a woman aged 28 has slept with around 10 guys.

I think that even for women who had long lasting relationship, having a number around 10 by the time they’re 30 is not anomalous, considering some women are in triple digits by then.

The number you should be on is the smallest you need to find deep true love. For most people this should be below 10; probably below 5, even.

operapeach · 2022-07-30T20:24:57+00:00

It does not matter if a woman tells you how many people she has slept with. You can tell. If she’s in double digits that has definitely mentally affected her and it will be much harder for her to get close to partners and bond with people.

For some similar men this is not a problem, but it’s a dealbreaker for me. I noticed a significant difference in women I was interested in who’d slept with a lot of people vs. women who hadn’t.

TheRealConine · 2022-07-30T14:14:47+00:00

“Guess my body count” is a trap, and you being offended proves it

Fat_Papaya · 2022-07-30T09:35:52+00:00

Women (and men) with higher body counts tend to come with a whole list of negative consequences as a result of it. For example, general trends of increased divorce rate, reduced happiness, reduced martial + sexual satisfaction and whatever else I can't remember.

If you don't want to keep a low n-count for men then do it for yourself haha

orgothrelentless · 2022-07-30T16:02:18+00:00

Women have an easier time getting sex, everyone knows this. If a woman wants to go online or pick up a dude every weekend that adds up quick. When majority of women are having casual sex/fwb/ons it's going to taint other women. Women lie about n count anyways and majority of guys just assume she had a wild phase because of social media and how easy it is.

You may never really know her body count and hell some women don't even know their own. If you look around at how she acts and some other factors it's 90% a dead give away.

Then comes in the factor of bitterness and some men being so jaded because they have a very low n count, sometimes still a virgin at a late age. Call it an insecurity if you want but some guys will bitter and just assume a women's n count is higher than his because he was invisible/loser.

JumboJetz · 2022-07-30T12:56:40+00:00

You are absolutely right. Being a chaste woman is pointless because ALL men who deal with women know they lie about sex. So no one will believe you that you’ve had sex with 1 other guy in the past. You say that we hear a bare minimum of 4.

Enzo-Unversed · 2022-07-30T19:28:08+00:00

Personality and social status are the best predictors IMO. It's unlikely the shy girl at the library is getting railed by multiple dudes weekly.

r2401 · 2022-07-31T08:41:07+00:00

You can have her take a polygraph.

BigWilldo · 2022-07-31T14:01:09+00:00

My gf is a lot more experienced than me lol, all I know for sure is that it's much higher than my body count of 2, she being my second. Although, it was very nice to hear that when we were first dating and "getting to know each other" that she was shocked that I had only ever slept with one person before. Overall, I really don't have any opinion on her having a high body count. She was younger and wanted to explore things and she did! She's very loyal, thoughtful, and caring, so for all I care, it could've been 5 or 500 people.

globalholiday5090 · 2022-07-30T11:28:25+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lovestocomment · 2022-07-30T13:33:59+00:00

You know, there was a point in history when guys didn't assume the body count of a woman to be high. Hook up and thot culture culture changed that. So that's one of the main reasons why guys are going to assume a womans body count is high. Also, there is no more shame in having a high body count. So a lot of women are pretty open about sharing. Maybe not directly, but at some point they do share.

Also, keep being good. Keep respecting your body. Keep being responsible. There is a guy out there will that will see the truth based on your character.

AtomicMGTOW · 2022-07-30T21:22:23+00:00

At this point being good doesnt do much...

Tell me about it.

And since there is no reward for being good (there's actually a punishment), people just get shittier and shittier and assume the worst about everything and everyone.

Shitty people that are failures look for disqualifiers first and almost exclusively. And, as the saying goes, a broken clock is right twice a day. So yeah, they throw a bunch of garbage at you and assume the worst. Some people fall for it and try extra hard to prove that they are NOT that. But you can't prove a negative.

Now, with that said, I wouldn't take a relationship seriously if she has a high body count. And no, there's no way to really get a 100% accurate number, but that's not really the point. I can usually figure out pretty quick if I'm going to put her in the 'probably high count' group. Just have to look for signs of impulsivity.

Over 25 with streaks of unnatural hair colour? Maybe not high count but the constellation is forming. Throw in a kid or 2 - probably a slut. Throw in visible tattoo(s), very likely a slut. A lot of nervous apprehension? Yeah, we've got a slut.

Seems to me that women with 'anxiety and depression' are correlated to promiscuity. Does she pretty much assume that every guy she meets is totally dying to fuck her? Yeah, probably a slut. I mean, there's a lot of guys that might be like "meh, I wouldn't say no" and these women are like "he's totally obsessed with me." I might not be thinking about ice cream, but if someone comes up and says "Hey, want an ice ream" I'll be like "Sure! this is my lucky day" but if I desperately wanted ice cream, I'll put in effort commensurate with home much I wan that ice cream.

Sorry, got off on a tangent. Been thinking about this shit lately. I'm so tired of women assuming I want them AND to a great degree. They show it through body language and I get pretty indignant about it. It's an instant red flag/turn off. It truly demonstrates that THEY are the ones with sex constantly on the mind. Then they project that shit out. Makes me wanna puke. Because, like you pointed out, I can't PROVE I am 'not that into you'. Most wouldn't believe me anyway. If they did it would hurt their ego. "How DARE he not want me!"... It's actually not a bad tactic because then they try to get you to want them. They'll behave in a way they know they should (feminine). but it's usually a trap. If I changed my mind or threw a little interest back it's "HA, I KNEW YOU WANTED ME SOOO BAD". Yeah, sure.

EugeneCezanne · 2022-07-30T14:12:53+00:00

nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something.

my body count is low compared to most women I know

hmm...

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them? Like everyones free to do what they want and there are many ways to be happy but. At this point being good doesnt do much

One of these sentences is not like the others.

MembershipPlus2082 · 2022-07-30T14:51:35+00:00

I will never trust the body count told by a girl. I'll try to figure it out based on her behaviour and hints from her friends. By default, I assume a girl has atleast 2-3 guys added to her body count per year, since she was 17.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-07-30T14:20:50+00:00

Several things wrong with what you are saying. 1. It’s rude to think they are “dragging you down”. Women having casual sex doesn’t mean they are below you. People have different views of sex. And that’s ok. 2. Not having sex does not mean you are being good. Having or not having sex does not make you a good person. 3. It shouldn’t offend you.

Simply say “no, i don’t have casual sex because I feel like sex should be a very intimate thing I share with someone who I love and trust.”

i’m 32, slept with 3 men total, married to the 3rd.

2022-07-30T17:42:01+00:00

Some will believe you, some won't. There's the 3x stereotype but that's not like that stereotype was made up out of thin air. You have a few who will tell you they lost count, which screams risky behavior and engaging with her is risky behavior. Also, it says "Everybody has had it."

A lot of women will lie about it because men will judge women as not being worthy of their time because of being heavily pre owned, they maybe have met a great guy and realized quickly that he will walk or theyre ashamed, so they want to try and get in there, get him to feel for her and look past it. Its heavily deceptive, its like lying on a resume to get a job youre unqualified for. This is contrary to the oh so dumb "insecure" arguement of the worry about being compared to other partners (which this is a deflection and projection of their feelings of being compared to better women. It's a flip to the "you hurt my feelings, your penis is small!") The women who you feel are dragging you down are the same ones who promote a certain lifestyle. The actively tell other women to do it to drag others down, even though they have encountered issues. Crabs in a barrel.
There has been threads in other subs of women losing good men or being passed up by them because if a high count. Every single woman in those threads said "he's a loser, go do it more!" Their advice is to harm your chances more. A lot claimed to have boyfriends or husbands and I'm skeptical of that or the worth of the men they're with. Kind of like "This is all you can get!" A lot of them can get a partner, few can keep them. All they are left with is anger towards men, when it was all their terrible decisions. You can hear the hurt and regret in their arguments whether written or verbal. They wish they had a time machine.

The only way to get around this is over time your partner or other men will see how you act and eventually believe you.

badgersonice · 2022-07-30T17:51:42+00:00

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

Very “pickme” sentiment here. You’re saying you’re better than other women and tearing them down with words here. Not very nice. And before you balk— my ncount is lower than yours, so obviously you must be dragging me down, by your logic.

But anyways, other women are not dragging you down. They’re just living their lives the way they want, same as you. The ones dragging you down are the idiot men you apparently go for. Like seriously, the men making baseless assumptions about your sexual history based on notion are just actually dumb. Why do you want to date stupid men so badly?

MAGA-Latino · 2022-07-30T09:52:16+00:00

The thing is, nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something.

What guys do is all get together to try and figure it out. One guy.will share what he heard about you.and then another will share what they heard about you. Then they'll carefully analyze your social media and then compare notes to get an estimate body count.

So I dont really understand how its going to affect her socially.

Simple men won't want to date you seriously or wife you. You'll just get placed in the just to fuk category.

I asked a guy recently to guess it and it was over 3x the true number which sort of offended me. Now Im wondering if Im not acting properly.

Well I guess men today just assume the worst. For example I had several occasions where friends asked me if I had sex with a certain girl and I'll tell them no and they won't believe me. They are just quick to assume the worst.

SpecialSpnk · 2022-07-30T14:28:37+00:00

I can understand why you would think this and express your concern but many men can just tell once intimate and physical. It’s not to hard to tell if a woman has been super promiscuous or reserved. Yes other women are doing a disservice by having extremely high body counts but you will be rewarded for not

optimus69prime69 · 2022-07-30T15:34:39+00:00

Did you tell him your actual count?

How would you feel if he had n-count of about the number he guessed about you? Would that be a deal breaker?

caveatemptor18 · 2022-07-30T17:49:18+00:00

Billy Joel said it so well. Listen up:

https://youtu.be/ERWREcPIoPA

801735 · 2022-07-30T18:05:58+00:00

Womens body count

in the house? =]

Nihi1986 · 2022-07-30T19:42:09+00:00

It's better to not ask and better to not tell...

One of my last gf asked me, told her I had spent 10 years in a committed relationship so my count is obviously lower than expected, and she said she felt embarrashed cause hers was insanely high. We stopped talking about the subject and we didn't care.

I'm not saying it doesn't matter (in a way it does matter), it all depends on your reasons and arguments about it. Most women I know were monogamous and had low count until an apparently bad relationship, then slept around with a ridiculous amount of guys in a year and went back to being in serious relationships when they were done.

I only find that information useful to find red flags if I'm given a context. If the answer is 'I did it cause I wanted and that's all' then I'm not taking the relationship seriously, sorry, I don't want to commit, fall in love, spend my time, energy and resourcess if you are the type of girl who gets bored/frustrated and reacts by fucking 20 dudes... I don't ask, though, it's a subject which is brought naturally at some point but I don't care much, just don't scare me with 'he didn't give me enough attention so I cheated, then broke up, then fucked two different guys each month for the next 3 years'. Call me insecure or jelous but that's simply very worrying in many ways if I want a serious relationship.

No-Needleworker3481 · 2022-07-30T19:48:26+00:00

If a guy guessed a high amount for me I would just assume he thinks I'm hot and that's a compliment? My self esteem is pretty low and I look like a square so I don't get too many guys assuming I've slept with a lot of guys. They probably think I'm a lesbian or a prude and my body count is pretty high I just don't act feminine.

rdnmgrbg · 2022-07-30T20:42:07+00:00

I believe a person's (f or m) body count reflects their personality and values. And this would also be true for the non-sexual past.

I think it's normal to have this convo with a potential partner and it shouldn't be taboo.

One shouldn't be ashamed of a high or low n count.

But for a lot of people, the way their potential partner sees sex and intimacy may be a dealbreaker and it's perfectly fine.

So yes, body count can have implications on one's life, but that will happen mostly in matters of compatibility.

Some people would hate a high n count, some people would prefer it, others would not even care.

johnny_is_home · 2022-07-30T21:25:53+00:00

The thing is, nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something.

Exactly, so guys should just stop worrying about it and realize that she's not yours, it's just your turn.

urbangoth · 2022-07-30T21:38:08+00:00

Age plays a role here, as does generational expectations and appearance. And culture or if you're religious. Like an amish woman probably won't have the same body count as a cam girl in NYC.

Also, there is no inherently moral value to someone having and high or low body count. There's nothing objectively "good" or "bad" about either one.

And you're right. At the end of the day, no one can tell. They just assume based off of appearance, observed behaviors, or statistics. If they choose not to believe you, chances are they won't trust you about other things; you should 't have to date someone who has trust issues or who you have to "prove" yourself to.

It can be hard work to find someone who shares your values if they're less common for your age range or region. It's just the reality of it. Being upset at others for their behavior and how it may impact someone else's trust is a bit pointless; you can't force them to believe or trust you, and there's nothing you can do to stop others from doing what they feel like, either.

Catherine772023 · 2022-07-30T21:48:19+00:00

Normally I blame guys for bad assumptions. But you asked him to guess.

He could have no idea and just base it off number of women he slept with and guessed your N count was the same.

tommysamson · 2022-07-30T22:35:24+00:00

how you act, how you dress your morals and friends indicate

sluttykitt_y · 2022-07-30T23:48:47+00:00

Ur looking too much into it, he’s not saying you’re a hoe, he just finds you attractive

TheRealBobaFettt · 2022-07-31T00:25:45+00:00

There is no wrong number to have for anyone. It’s completely arbitrary. You can be a great lover having only had one partner if you communicate well. The ideal number depends on who you’re asking. A conservative person might not want some who’s had more than 3 sexual partners, an even crazier ideal might be to want a virgin partner. On the other end of the spectrum one might want a partner who is experienced or won’t want to keep playing the field and in these cases a higher number may be ideal. Certain people see value in their own numbers low or high. A gym bro type dude might relish in his body count or even embellish his own numbers during “locker room talk”. Another person might lower their number to not be perceived as a “slut” male or female. An old adage said to multiply a girls answer by two and divide a guys answer by two. I don’t think this is sound advice exactly and I’d rather actually get to know someone than make preconceived notions about their character based on an arbitrary body count.

Teflon08191 · 2022-07-31T02:12:59+00:00

So I dont really understand how its going to affect her socially.

Same way you can look at a dude and get a pretty good feeling that he's a virgin even if he never admits it.

purplenelly · 2022-07-31T03:21:25+00:00

The guy will judge you by the way he perceives you anyway. You could have an n-count of 100, but if the guy perceives you as shy who stays home and doesn't make many friends, he'll think you're a virgin.

Disasterid · 2022-07-31T07:40:37+00:00

I like to say that I have a much higher body count than I really do bc I don’t want to be seeing someone that wants someone inexperienced lol

catniagara · 2022-07-31T18:05:11+00:00

They assume based on opportunity. I’ve been with 5 people but people always called me a slut because I was pretty. I have friends who slept with a different guy every day and guys still wanted them because they believed they were inexperienced.

One girl in particular lied about being a virgin until she was like 37. Every guy bought it, despite her sleeping with just about everyone. She’s got Hepc now

Logry · 2022-07-31T21:58:08+00:00

Back home is forbidend by law to tell it even if she willingfully told you.

prairieboy1996 · 2022-08-03T00:43:36+00:00

I bypass the online dating, such a waste of time, and energy. I just fvck prostitutes every once in a while. It's a win win. Plus I also save more money in the long run.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-07-30T16:27:48+00:00

Most men you date aren’t going to ask; they are just going to be happy to be able to be part of your body count, if you let them. I’ve been dating and having sex 3 decades or so and have never been asked. Obviously be smart and take care of yourself, but don’t obsess over it.

2022-07-30T15:50:55+00:00

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

I, too, have never had casual sex and have only had a few partners. But this comment is disgusting. A woman’s value has fuck-all to do with the number of partners she has had.

AngelsMuse · 2022-07-30T13:24:44+00:00

If you are criticizing yourself based on how many people someone else guessed you may have slept with, or judging women on the whole based on some average sexual partner count you have in your head, I would really think about the internalized misogyny there.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-07-30T14:11:03+00:00

I wouldn't be offended and I wouldn't worry about it because you don't have to hide anything, if people don't believe you it's their problem.

While nobody knows a woman's body count, it's practically impossible that she can conceal it's impact in an LTR.

In a nutshell, this is what happens...

You're a guy, you meet a girl, she does the "I'm delaying sex" thing, but the relationship is going well and she says she's never felt this way about a guy before.

Then when you start having sex, none of it is wild and new and she's disappointed that, like most guys she's had one night stands with, you're bad at sex because you're not being confident and dominating her.

This shit really happens, this dichotomy is real.

RunsWlthScissors · 2022-07-30T20:09:14+00:00

Let’s shoot straight here. The people who would ask you that are people who are insecure in their own abilities. Most of us don’t care enough to want to know or would like to not.

If we’re going to play that guessing game though, you can’t really be too offended because we deserve it for playing stupid games. After all, the only things you win are stupid prizes.

KaleidoscopeEyes12 · 2022-07-30T13:46:05+00:00

The average body count of all of the (adult) women I know is 2.22. I only counted women from the younger generation only the ones that I know their count of course. That’s really low though. And while I’m not pretending that there aren’t women with higher counts and I just don’t know them, I think men make the assumption that every woman has a huge body count and that’s just not the case.

Afroaway001 · 2022-07-30T11:22:02+00:00

I never have and never will understand why anyone would ever care about someone else's "body count". Who gives a fuck.

2022-07-30T15:43:08+00:00

Eh, don't sweat it. If men aren't going to believe you either way, why bring it up? If they keep bringing it up and making you feel uncomfortable, better to part ways.

The only way it could negatively impact your life is if you want to exclusively date religiously chaste guys, or men who are traditional and value conservative sexual values. But you probably would be incompatible with these men in the first place.

Probably 70% of men don't care about body count, unless you were seen as the town bicycle, or did shady shit like sleep with every dude in your friend group. Really, they don't want to be associated with a "slut," and all that entails for their reputation.

RealNiceLady · 2022-07-30T15:54:43+00:00

So I dont really understand how its going to affect her socially.

I've seen women get dumped over it.

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

That's it.

At this point being good doesnt do much because men will just assume I didnt exercise restraint and its not like I can prove otherwise

Just only have sex with boyfriends and husbands, and you will be fine.

volster · 2022-07-30T16:39:48+00:00

Body count matters - To some more than others and like most things in life, there's a whole bunch of factors involved.

If you're a player who finally ends up catching feelings sufficiently to get serious about someone.... You're less likely to care than someone in the hyper-religious "no-sex-before-marriage" crowd.

You see a lot of women indignantly demanding to know what difference it makes "the past is in the past" etc etc.

Sadly, our actions have consequences, and your past does matter... If for no other reason than because while sure you'd hope we all grow and mature as people over time - Your past speaks to your underlying character as a person.

Going through some doors will inevitably close others to you . By embracing being X type of person, Y type will no-longer be interested regardless of what else you bring to the table.

I won't pretend that i'm not personally quietly judgmental AF but... i just can't bring myself to care all that much about what randos wanna do with their lives "Hey buddy, you do you 🤷‍♂️"

I'm not into hookups or the whole "casual" lifestyle in general - TBH (within reason) context is actually more important to me than the outright number - 4 serious relationships that didn't pan out is a very different proposition than 4 FWB's.

Women's bitterness about "N-count" seems to fundamentally stem from finding themselves in situations where guy's they'd have liked to have been interested in them, aren't once they discover that detail about them (after all, who cares what unattractive people think!)

TBH I'm somewhat mystified why they'd even want to be with someone who didn't view you as "The Prize™" they'd been looking for but.... Ho-hum.

The thing is, nobody knows a womans body count but her unless its all like recorded or something

Sure, they could always just lie about it i guess but.... You'd hope they're not so monumentally stupid as to actually do so.

If you're making a life with someone, whether it takes 6 months or 6 years - The truth is gonna end up coming out Eventually. Whether it be bumping into an ex, or an offhand comment from an old friend remarking about how different you are now vs the party-girl you used to be, etc.

They're going to find out everything there is to know about you - It's pointless to try and hide who you are/were in the long run.

More than that, you're building a relationship on lies; Proving yourself to be fundamentally untrustworthy in the process - Regardless of whether their actual number is proved an issue to them or not.... Any man worth having will kick you to the curb for this alone.

At this point being good doesn't do much because men will just assume I didn't exercise restraint and its not like I can prove otherwise.

My advice is that you should just be who you are and own it. There are certainly no shortage of men out there who value traditional feminine virtues.

That said, it's a big wide world which takes all sorts - This guy presumed your number was higher than it was, and is still with you anyway. You clearly could have gone "up to" that number without it have putting him off if you'd wanted to.

At the end of the day, the only thing which really matters is that the person you end up with perceives you as having the assortment of qualities THEY happen to care about.

.... What random sperglords on the internet, or even society at large think of it is irrelevant - You're not looking to make a life with them - Who cares what they think of you!

I wish you all the best with this guy 🤞 - If it doesn't work out, my advice would be that you should just be who you are and do what you want to do.

If being restrained is causing you to feel deprived.... Go hoe-out! If on the other hand you've just never really seen the appeal and would rather remain an option to the kind of guy's who're repulsed by that sort of behavior - Don't!

.... Sadly, it's attempting to have your cake and eat it where things tend to go wrong.

Jukingku22 · 2022-07-30T17:12:51+00:00

Women are dragging u down sadly and it MAY also have to do with how you act. Act more feminine and see if anything changes

Smitten_Squire · 2022-07-30T17:28:20+00:00

If a women has double digits body count, she a promiscuous and thst says a lot about her ethics, morals, character, and future outcomes

randomaviary · 2022-07-30T18:20:22+00:00

There are credible, peer reviewed studies that link a high woman’s body count to an inability to pair bond. This matches my life experience.

Doesn’t mean a woman should be insulted or shamed for having higher count but it’s definitely a deal breaker.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-07-31T00:43:07+00:00

People get a bit obsessed with body count but what it shows is how unstable you are.

If your count is greater than about one per six months it shows that you probably have an issue with maintaining relationships or you treat your significant other poorly.

The only thing is the four date test. If people are shagging on the first date they are a little too easy, if not after the fourth a little too stingy.

womandatory · 2022-07-31T03:25:00+00:00

Why do you need to prove anything to anyone? Any man who cares this much about something like this is insecure and will probably use his insecurity to manipulate and gaslight you, so avoid them.

If you want to ‘demonstrate restraint’ with a man you like, do so. If he keeps trying to pressure you into having sex before you want to, he’s part of the problem.

Smithersink · 2022-07-31T03:52:48+00:00

I think high body count has a different implication for men vs for women. Getting sex isn’t an impressive feat for women, so a high body count indicates having lower standards; whereas we assume men will jump at the opportunity to have sex, so a high body count is praised among men and a low body count indicates you weren’t desirable enough. Simply because it’s not the norm, we don’t really consider the possibility that a woman has high standards but has simply found men who match them, or that a man has high standards for sex as well and doesn’t want to just have sex with any woman he meets.

Ok_Independence1162 · 2022-07-31T08:48:15+00:00

"Being good" There's a lot in this post... a lot of internalized misogyny and sexual shame, projected at other women. Though none toward the men. You need to rewrite the way you think about this. You're giving men the power to assign you and other women value while also devaluing women yourself.

SlowmoTron · 2022-07-31T15:08:50+00:00

I actually really hate the term body count. Most people using it don’t know the true meaning.

I also could give a shit less about how many people my partner slept with.

Any guy who sleeps with whoever they want then judges a woman for doing the same is a bitch

decoy88 · 2022-07-30T11:03:36+00:00

Body count is often used by idiots as a stand-in for moral character. Which is dumb because moral character and a person’s attitude is easier to figure out than a stranger’s body count.

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-07-30T14:05:13+00:00

Idk having more sex is good for you everyone should just fuck more, everyone would be happier

pan3639 · 2022-07-30T14:18:29+00:00

Your body count is high enough. Doesn't make a difference if it's 8 or 24, a hoe is a hoe.

FrostieTheSnowman · 2022-07-30T15:07:57+00:00

Look honestly, if a dude is THAT concerned about your body count and won't believe you when you tell him the truth, that is entirely a him problem. I do think it's the, "women are dragging you down with them," conclusion, but also it really shouldn't matter that much.

What will really scare off the good men is un-managed baggage, lack of accountability, and a bad attitude. To me, it sounds like you have none of those things, so I'd just chalk up any failures due to your perceived body count as a part of the game. It fucking sucks, but guys that wouldn't believe you probably aren't worth your time anyway.

Good luck!

kblkbl165 · 2022-07-30T14:30:35+00:00

And that’s why I always said worrying about N count is useless. It’s just a common point of contention because most guys here are envious of women having easy access to casual sex. In practice a dude can only know what the woman tells, or always infer the worst and live a life of paranoia.

Dudes here think they have some sort of sixth sense or that a high N count lady will be walking around like a whore, flirting with everyone and whatever.

More often than not this “judgement of character” is simply conservative men looking if the woman is conservative.

If she’s dressed “properly” and acting all submissive and restrained it doesn’t matter if the whole football team ran a train on her.

As a women you should do what you feel like. The dude is probably just trying to make you feel inadequate.

globalholiday5090 · 2022-07-30T17:09:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-07-30T14:18:34+00:00

Or I also feel like now women are sort of like dragging me down with them?

Mind explaining this a bit better.

It sounds like the only reason you don't have sex with people you'd like to have sex with is because you want to "be good" and because you WANT to be judged on it. That's quite... eh... pickme.

This view towards sex is very sex negative and indicates insecure to me. You're not doing things because you want to do them, you do things because you don't want to be judged for being 'bad'. This is not how a self-actualised person acts or thinks.

A self-actualised and self-assured person would make up their own mind.

They would not have sex with people because they thought sex was something they could only have with a person they trusted deeply or were in love with. That's a valid personal reason not to have sex.

Being socially shunned and taking part in socially shunning other people for how many people they sleep with is not admirable or somebody I'd associate myself with. Their reasoning is external, based on other people's views and fear of being judged.

I hope you find more self-confidence to be who you are and think less of what other people, especially guys, think of you. Have sex for yourself because YOU want to, not because other people do or don't want you to.

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-07-30T15:26:53+00:00

He was negging you.

No-Translator3369 · 2022-07-30T15:16:31+00:00

I feel like I’m going to age myself with this comment BUT is this something people do now? I’ve seen a few post like this talking about sexual body count and it just seems odd to me. Why is this needed to know. I feel like this is one of those topics that never come out positive and I see no benefit to the relationship either. In High school it was seen as just tooting your own horn. I need some help understanding why this is so important now.

Ok-Zucchini-8056 · 2022-07-30T20:11:41+00:00

My wife lied about her body count when we first met. We’ve been married 7 years and I probably would never have known, except that I realised she’d mentioned more guys than the number she initially said. I asked her again how many guys she’d been with, and she admitted she lied about it when we met. She had no idea what the real number was, only that it’s in the hundreds! But, yeah, if she had continued to lie about it, I would never have known.

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mouldysock100 · 2022-07-30T14:19:43+00:00

Not having casual sex isn't "being good"
Women aren't "dragging you down"

This just reeks of bragging that you're not like other girls. Some guy guessing your number is higher than reality shouldn't make you rethink anything. Be secure enough in your convictions without needing validation from men. And if people are incorrectly judging your behaviour, maybe question the worth of that judgement instead of getting annoyed at women who are free to do what they want.

Logry · 2022-08-01T09:14:54+00:00

(1) So I dont really understand how its going to affect her socially.(2) [..] women are sort of like dragging me down [..] ts not like I can prove otherwise.

« Penser global, agir local » — René DUBOS

1 — It was intended to describe sustainable developpment, but the interaction between small scale action and macroscale situation is interesting ; especially on the bodycount topic that is highly emotionnal and confused.

2 — To respond to (1 ) It won't affect her like most T.R.P. announces, in the ultra majority of cases. It will affect zoomer girls.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-07-30T15:44:22+00:00

If a girl has a girls night at a club every weekend she likely sleeps around. You tell by her behavior.

AreOut · 2022-07-30T16:13:46+00:00

if a girl asks me to guess her body count I just say "around hundred" just to see her reaction :) if she gets offended it's either because 1) she doesn't get the joke so we aren't really compatible or 2) I guessed it right

Diddy_1978 · 2022-07-30T16:16:17+00:00

That tells you how that guy sees women. Beware.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-07-30T20:59:53+00:00

Andrew Tate is correct. So many problems would be fixed if women had to wear their body count on their forehead

Now Im wondering if Im not acting properly for him to guess that.

There is literally no guy that actually wants to date & marry a woman with a high body count

Peacesquad · 2022-08-01T17:39:25+00:00

Having a body count super high and expecting a man to commit to you longterm is disgusting. Men and women aren’t the same. At all

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-07-30T15:06:30+00:00

In the US the median number of sexual partners a woman has is about 4 compared to a dude's approximately 6.

But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with having a number much less or much more than that.

After all, 60 sexual partners over the course of a decade only averages out to one sexual partner every two months. A total of three sexual partners a year means 30 after a decade. People see the thirty and think one thing, but when you break it down she might be spending most of the year alone and not even looking to have sex with anyone.

The more you have sex (either with yourself or others) the more you will strengthen your pelvic walls and tighten/flex/firm up those muscles, so the myth that a woman who has more sex is loose is bullshit too, it's actually the opposite. Similarly someone who has a dick has muscles that help them move and utilize that dick. No fap will cause atrophy whereas more sex will mean stronger, firmer muscles and the appearance of a larger dick (which some men find preferable).

Epilitheal cells turn over every few days so someone might have a "brand new vag" two or three times a week. Assuming good practice of safe sex (getting tested for STIs, people taking PrEP, people getting the HPV vaccine, people using latex, or other condoms, or dental dams or more among all partners and multiple forms of birth control), a person's body count doesn't correlate with negative (or positive) effects, aside from the immune and mood boosting chemicals even semi-decent sex releases.

Not to mention people consider "body count" differently. Are they counting sucking dick? Are they counting orgasming together without penetration? Are they counting anal? Are they counting pegging and other toy use?

You can't control how other people feel about how many sexual partners you have. But please look up and access the facts above, as some people don't think rationally about it and if you're in the US a lot of people have terrible sex ed and literally don't know this stuff. If they went to a school that taught abstinence only they probably don't even know a lot of these facts, or that the absintence only crew are the largest demographic for STI spread and unwanted pregnancies due to inadequate knowledge. And as the old cheesy adage goes, knowledge is power.

Womens body count

Comments

👏

Title	Womens body count
Author	globalholiday5090
Upvotes	134
Comments	742
Date	July 30, 2022 9:16 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wbtczp/womens_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/womens-body-count.1125914 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125914